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willescrisis · 21 days

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Wille's Crisis : an essay about Kris (1934) and Young Royals (2021)

While watching Young Royals’ third season, I couldn’t get Karin Boye’s novel Kris out of my head. As a fan of Young Royals that feels very chill and very normal about it, I have hence written a five page brain-dump on how Malin Forst and Wilhelm’s characters and worlds are intertwined. (Small disclamers : I’m quoting Amanda Doxtater’s 2020 english translation of the novel and I’m french-canadian, so english is my second language.)

Who is Karin Boye ?

Karin Boye (1900-1940) was a leading figure in Swedish modernist literature and poetry. In 1920, at the age of 20, she studied one year in Stockholm to become a primary school teacher and after graduation, continued teaching, writing, militant engagement and several years of study in related fields. Among all of her works, the most explicitly autobiographical is her autofictive novel Kris (1934). This powerful novel explores the homosexuality and crisis of religious faith of a young woman named Malin Forst.

Malin Forst & Wilhelm

During her studies in teaching, Karin’s 20-years-old alter-ego Malin goes through an existential crisis. She feels completely paralyzed by her guilt due to her selfish inaction in the face of universal suffering, her lack of trust in institutions (educational, medical, etc.) and, worst of all, her doubts about her relationship with God. Kris also deals with Malin’s relationship to her own sexuality with the meeting of a classmate, Siv, to whom she will become passionately obsessed without ever talking to her.

We meet 16-years-old Wilhelm as a first year student at Hillerska. His failures as a royal figure and his complicated relationships to his loved ones make him feel powerless and guilty. He is thrown off balance by his doubts of the monarchic system, but most importantly, by his doubts of his life’s role model, Erik. Young Royals also deals with Wilhelm’s relationship to his own sexuality with the meeting of a classmate, Simon… Are we seeing the parallels here ?

While Malin’s torments lead her to shut down, Wilhelm screams. But both feel paralysed and don’t know how to exist out of the system they grew up in. And it’s the meeting of a same-sex student that leads them to a freer path.

« I want to see Siv. I want to be where Siv is. »

Previously, Malin considered the fusion of the will of the human with the will of God to be the most important of aspirations. Without this reference point, she has no will nor desire… until she meets another student, Siv. Her simple presence rekindles for the first time in the novel a desire, burning and forbidden: “I want to see Siv. I want to be where Siv is.” … And here is how this whole essay has come to exist. While watching season three, I joked endearingly with my friends about the way that Wille’s only hobby is to be with Simon, but I felt sad for him. Until I understood he’s on the first part of his self-discovery journey. His first true desire that stems from inside of him and wasn’t imposed by the system is “I want to see Simon. I want to be where Simon is.”

Interestingly enough, Siv and Simon both become a new manifestation of something that Malin and Wilhelm have lost. We, the reader, meet Malin when she is ‘grieving’ her old relationship to God and deconstructing her understanding of God as a single entity. Amazed by Siv’s ‘perfection’, Malin raises her to a kind of divine position with great powers. Wilhelm, for his part, feels at home with Simon because of the way he makes Wilhelm’s entire being comes alive, weightless and playful… A feeling of joy, innocence and safety he’s only ever felt with Erik before.

Anxious and desperate, Malin and Wilhelm are latching to their comfort person, making them their whole word in a way that has to change for them to grow up. After realizing Siv’s feeling for a fellow male classmate, Malin is shaken : “Only now could she see that she had embarken upon the false path of mistaking a person for what is highest and most beautiful.” Not only does this quote mirror Wilhelm letting go of his idealised conception of Erik, it is also mirrorring his realisation that Simon is not a perfectly stable and unbreakable anchor on which he can blindly rely on : “I have to take responsibilities for my own problem. I can’t drag him down with me.”

Don’t give it a name

An important part of Malin’s journey is relinquishing the power she gives to words, especially regarding God and her sexuality. Throughout the novel, she refuses to name the emotion she feels for Siv. On the day of her meeting with Siv, Malin thinks: “You, lips, I implore you to clamp so hard upon the unsayable, that not a word slips out to assert its malicious pettiness and obfuscation ! Be still, thoughts, don’t interrupt, for you have no idea what this is ! (...) Don’t give it a name, let it be just as it is, here in my blood and my eyes, life and sap ! The wonder of new creation need not be named.”

Wilhelm’s complicated relationship to words is shown in the way that he shouts his love for Simon from every rooftop, but does not wish to label his sexual orientation. In season three, he says the word queer for the first time and his voice is seeped with discomfort. He is not claiming this word as part of his identity and rather feels constricted by it, probably in the same way that every other label put on him has made him suffocate.

Furthermore, both Malin and Wilhelm wish to express themselves and experience the world, not through the restrictive lens of language, but through the sensory world. In Kris, after seeing Siv for the first time, Malin’s five senses awaken. A dialogue takes place between the sense of sight and hearing, reminding me of the way that Wilhelm and Simon’s intimacy is developped through the gentle touch of noses, the sounds of breathing, the glow of golden light and fingers lingering slightly above the other’s body… ‘Sight’ says “I’m confused. I no longer know whether I am sight or not. I envelop things and follow them as if I were touch, I hold my breath in quiet anticipation as if I were hearing, I breathe in, like one intoxicated, as if I were smell, and I drink in long, deep, draughts as if I were taste. (...) Could I be standing at threshold of some new creation ?” To which ‘hearing’ responds “ (...) Admit it - isn’t revelation through the senses at the same time the revelation of what lies beyond the senses, of what creates the senses, of the limitless feelings of eternal love ? (...)”

Checkmate

Kris’s narration drastically changes points of view in unexpected moments, moving from the pov of human characters to the pov of abstract entities. The two most important are BLACK and WHITE, two sources of cosmic powers playing a chess game whose game board is humanity.

On the one hand, WHITE represents the norm, also illustrated by threats from nature such as stormy and dangerous waters, cold, humidity and darkness, but also under the traits of the dominant society, whose rules and norms protect human beings while maintaining them in a position of submission and obedience. WHITE uses the anxious desire of his pawns (humans) as a weapon to subject them to the norm. And at first, Wille is WHITE’s perfect pawn : an anxious mess who becomes more and more obediant as season three progresses and whose ‘protectors’ are also the ones leading to his demise. Little (most likely accidental) nods to that parralel : Wille looses to Alexander while playing the white pieces in season two and interrupts his conversation with Simon to scream “The water is cold today !” at his guards on their first date.

One the other hand, BLACK is a chaotic power of life associated with desire, burning fire and passion destabilizing the established order. In the context of Kris, the norm is heterosexuality, while fire is the forbidden desire: homosexuality. This parallel is evident when Malin describes in this way the physical sensations caused by Siv’s sight: “There was no holy, burning voice within her. All that burned within her was a thirst for the forbidden after a single look cast in that direction” And based on that, I absolutely refuse to believe that Lisa put the hallway scene after a BONFIRE by accident.

I also don’t think the placement of the chess game during August’s confession to his friends is a coincidence. First, the board is oriented in a way where August sits at the junction between the black and white pieces, showcasing how the character is in a crucial moment in his journey : will he stay in WHITE’s cruches for ever or will he find the strenght to save himself ? And second, August puts a black king on the edge of the table. Not only does it foreshadow that Kronprins Wille is on his way out, it also indicates that it was a rebel and homosexual ‘power’ that guided him in his quest for self-determination, just as it was for Malin Forst.

I natt gick Gud under or how to make the lake scene destroy me even more

The poem in prose I natt gick Gud under (Last night God succumbed) stands out from the other chapters of the novel Kris, as it recounts the most decisive transformation of the main character Malin Forst. BLACK places Malin naked and at peace on the shore of a sea where she throws the words she denies. Finally at a safe distance from WHITE’s icy waters, she liberates herself from her paralysis to embrace her true feelings.

Last night God succumbed.

Perhaps it was just the hollow shell of name that went under.

But that shell of a name drew with it the power of death. I cast it off.

I see objects as they are, unwitting of the name attributed to them. I cast off their names.

I stand utterly new, on the shore of a sea. Conscience is no longer mine. I cast it off.

The will to life has made me naked. The will to life has made me see. I shall meet whatever comes with naked, open eyes.

Lisa describes the lake scene as almost religious. As he’s swimming naked in the lake, Wilhelm is shedding his crown prince shell. Leaving the waters, he is reborn. When he is standing on the shore of the lake in his white clothes, Lisa says “that is when Wilhelm grows up.” And for me, he’s ready to meet whatever comes with naked, open eyes.

Thank you ! Thank you to whoever read this far. Kris is a very complex book that, despite having read twice, I still don’t fully understand, so if you have anything new to add to this reflection, you are welcome to do so !

#lisa i hope you're still lurking #wilmon #young royals #wilhelm x simon #young royals analysis #karin boye #young royals s3 #literary analysis #lake scene #lisa ambjörn

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frogboy0 · 14 days

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THE HEAVEN CAST!!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!!

So first off, we got a redesign for the Exorcist Angel armor. I wanted to keep the colors light so they stand out when in Hell. I was also hugely inspired by Crusades armor, since the Crusades fought for religious territory, I thought taking inspo from there made sense.

Then we have Lute, Emily, Sera and Adam's designs. I'll explain it all under the cut if you're interested!!!

LUTE!!!!!!!!!! Sorry guys but she's basically a different character with the same name at this point

So I think that Lute was like a mentor figure to Vaggie, she was the closest thing Vaggie had to a (sorta) mom but it's defiantly like a student-master relationship.

I think that Vaggie trusted and cared for Lute deeply, she devoted all her time and energy into training in order to make not only Heaven better, but to make Lute proud. Lute was a HUGE driving force Vaggie's martyr complex.

But they were close!!!! The care wasn't just once sided, I think Lute did love Vaggie. I think they both care for each other SO much, that's why it will hurt SO MUCH when it's LUTE as the one to de-wing and banish Vaggie. She LOVED her, she TRUSTED HER!!!!!

Trust that I will be delving deeper into this in the future ✊✊✊

So Emily and Sera's designs and roles in the story are pretty much the same, I liked them in canon! They were fun and offered an interesting addition to the show!!!!

The main thing I chose to change was basically their hair and skin color tbh. I understand what the show was TRYING to do, w the fact that they're supposed to be black (and apparently those are supposed to be dreads in Sera????) but.......... It wasn't good.

With their canon skin color, I know a lot of angels have gray skin but to me, it looked like the designers didn't know whether to make Sera and Emily (especially Sera) gray or flesh colored, which then resulted in them trying to meet it in the middle and left us with this,,,, really ashy looking black skin in some shots which I didn't like.

I decided to just make them a darker gray so they can both be seen as black and also keep consistent with angels having gray skin :)

ALSO THAT ONE DOODLE WITH EMILY LOOKING AT CHAGGIE, I PROMISEEEEEE THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE EITHER OF THEM LIKE THAT, I JUST DID IT TO BE FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I think the ship is cute but personally, it's not for me ^^)

And finally..... ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!

So like Lute, Adam is basically a completely different character with that same name just slapped on.

I REALLY didn't like him in the show to be honest. I think we was an enjoyable character at times but he's totally like my second to last fav character (with my LEAST favorite being Lucifer LOL). I think it was an interesting take on Adam definitely!! To see him so cocky and full of himself bc of his title but....... It was just very...... Viziepop with the whole "original dick" thing......

Adam is the literal FATHER of humanity!!!? He is EVERYONE'S FATHER!!!!!! I don't understand the point of making him mean aside from the fact that he's supposed to be an opposing force in the show, but even then, just because he's the opposing force, doesn't mean he's gotta be a huge jerk!!!!!

I think it could be more interesting and add more nuisance to the story is Adam WAS this sweet, caring guy who, like the protagonists, is only doing what he thinks is right!

I'll delve more into Adam in my next post BUT everything he does is out of his trust in God and the Seraphims, he trusts them wholeheartedly and despite the fact that the Sinners of Hell were once his children too, he does what he must because his flaw isn't that he's egotistical or an asshole, it's that he cares and trusts with his entire being.

He's also best friends with Kris Kringle

#my art #hazbin hotel #lute hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel redesigns #hazbin hotel sera #hazbin hotel emily #hazbin hotel adam #tw hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel exorcists #hazbin hotel rewrite

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hellspawnmotel · 5 months

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Hey Hellspawn, big fan of your work here! Just wanted to ask what your thoughts on Catti and Jockington are (y’know, Kris’ goth cat classmate and her Jock snake friend, sorry if that sounded unnecessary to say). Imo they seem to have a chance of maybe having a bigger role in the future of the game, considering both have actual face sprites in when taking to them and if you talk to Catti in the diner in chap 2 it’ll be reveal that Kris and she have some slight history together (plus Noelle mentions her a few times in both chapter 1&2 so there’s that).

oh, I like them! I definitely think theyre going to have a role in future goings-on, probably a similar level of involvement as berdly. I think catti will probably end up being more important since, as you said, she seems to have some history with both noelle and kris, whereas jockington seems like more of an afterthought (not to say he CANT be important, I just think it's less likely). another thing I'm interested in is that catti seems to really not like susie. on the surface that's not surprising, susie goes out of her way to make herself unlikable to most people. but, idk, catti's dialogue in chapter 2 as well as susie herself refusing to go into the diner just because catti is working there suggests some deeper animosity to me. susie isnt afraid of standing up to monster kid and snowy, but she wont face catti.

catti regards susie as dangerous, for noelle specifically. again, not surprising on the surface, given susie's reputation. but in this instance something seems off about her attitude. it's not the playful mythologizing of susie's violence that the other kids do. it feels more personal. the way catti seems to accept kris's friendship with susie but urges them to protect noelle makes me think she sees susie as an actual threat to somebody frail and trusting. I know susie implies it's just because she stole jockington's hat once, but uhhhhh. to be frank I dont believe her. I think something more serious happened between them, and whenever we spend more time with catti in future chapters it might force susie to confront the hurtful things she's done in the past more thoroughly. or maybe not, who knows. I'm not toby. bottom line, catti interests me a lot. really eager to learn more about her and her relationships with the main cast (and jockington will be there too as her government-assigned little guy)

#this got away from me. as usual #didnt realize i had so much to say about catti #deltarune #asks

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keksalot404 · 6 months

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OMORI: GUARDIAN ANGEL AU - ASK THEM ANYTHING (THE VERY MUCH PLANNED HALLOWEEN SPECIAL)

How's it going folks? Welcome back to Know Your Monsters! Halloween's is just around the corner, so we got a special treat for you tricksters! For Monstertown's 3rd Hollow's Eve, we've asked you to say some burning questions to some human-turned-spooky specters (and their mortal companions) who popped up in the MTT Hotel to give you this totally planned special! We got your questions, so now we ask... why are you crying?

Witch Mari: *sniff* I'm sorry - It's just - It's our first Halloween with me back - and - I never though we would ever enjoy today like this - aND WE CAN DO SIBLING COSTUMES AGAIN *sobs*

Black Cat Sunny: …I think me not celebrating any holiday for years affected her.

Akita Neru Aubrey: I forgot how into Halloween she was...or, is.

Lucas Frisk: *I recall how hard it was to coordinate costumes with Chara every year! I reckon we will run out of costumes pairs by year 5.

Masked Man Chara: YOU may call me picky, I would call it having actual taste. Hollow's Eve is a personal favorite holiday of mine and I will not muddle it dressing as a technicolor astronaut!

Frisk: *Hey! I point out that it is from a Horror Drama show specifically.

Chara: Why are you so adamant about us having pairing outfits in the first place?!

Frisk: *Because you're my best friend~ (*I make a heart with my hands)

Miku Madotsuki: Sorry my ghost friend couldn't make it tonight, she got so excited for Halloween she kind of got tuckered out and went back into... anyway! I can ask any question in her place! (Um, this interview isn't public outside town, is it?)

Purple Guy-er: You couldn't even bother to get a somewhat matching outfit. Just wearing the mask isn't enough!

Myers Mask Kris: It's more a costume then whatever you're suppose to be.

Player: I. Can't. Change. OUTFITS. This is the best I can do with my colors!

Kris: Then make your body transparent. At least then you'd actually pass as a ghost.

Player: Just give us the first question please, smiley helmet guy.

Okay! This first question towards you two I also want to ask the rest!

Player: Alright, let see, my name is... Player! I'm 19 years old and have been a gamer since... childhood.

Kris: Good job so far.

Player: Well SORRY I don't believe regular people would understand the concept of higher dimensional beings or that they value privacy!

Kris: The entire point of this ask thing is to get a better understanding of us.

Player: Okay well why don't you answer the next one. What do you think our relationship is, honestly?

Kris: Crippled teen and very annoying and social life line.

Player: …I mean I guess...

Mado: Me and my friend we're together for as long as I could remember. I thought she had gone, even when I kept seeing her everyday, but turns out she wasn't really gone in the first place. So... yay!

Frisk: *Chara and I go way back, before the rise of the Underground! Even when I didn't know them, they caught and saved me when I fell pass the barrier and onto the cave floor. That's when I met Chara, and we've been trusted partners ever since!

Chara: I wouldn't call being buried for decades only to be awakened by my soul being attached to a kid akin to a simple trust fall.

Frisk: *Aw, but I recall you even put down flowers for my arrival. <3

Chara: Uuuuugggghhhhh-

Mari: We're siblings of course! I'd like to believe that my will to be by Sunny's side is what kept me around and conscious all these years!

Sunny: …What were you doing all that time I couldn't see you. I know you go to my dreams when I sleep, but what we're you doing when I was awake?

Mari: Well, you know I was invisible when not in Headspace, but I think in some of the... illusions you had were me sometimes.

Sunny: ?! Were you there when I thought you were locked outside?

Mari: No?

Sunny: How about when I drowned and I saw you trying to save me like last time?

Mari: You saw that?

Aubrey: …Were you there when Sunny visited me at the church?

Mari: I would've haunted their every waking moment for you. :)

Aubrey: Th- thanks?

Ah, actually Aubrey, there are two similar asks interested in you and Sunny.

Aubrey: Huh? But I thought this was for-

Aubrey: How do they-! I- I mean...

Sunny: …

Aubrey: He's my friend. He made a mistake, a really dumb, life-changing mistake. Sure I was mad when I found out, furious actually, and then I got more angry at myself when I realized... I almost did the same thing.

Sunny: !

Mari: Oh Aubrey...

Aubrey: You- you gave me somewhere to go when I had nowhere else... even after everything I did to you... so... yeah

Sunny: …You're my friend too Aubrey. I might not feel the same way like back then, but I like what we are now.

Mado: …Got to love the childhood friends trope, huh?

Oh? Do I sense something between you and Sunny?

Mado: I did not agree to ask questions directly from you.

Oh, it didn't come from me~ :3

Mado: Nanda-!

Sunny: She's comfortable to be around. She doesn't judge when I do something off-putting, and gives me good art advice when I started drawing again. She's so different from me, yet... we understand each other. She's... sweet.

Mari: (Internal squeeing)

Mado: …

So how about-

Mado: SUNNY IS. A GOOD PAL. HIS SISTER IS NICE ALSO. GOTTA LOVE JAPANESE SOLIDARITY.

Mado: …and. He also. Doesn't mind. When I...

Get stabby?

Mado: Eh?! Where did that come from?

Well...

Mado: Na- I only stab things in dreams! Which I guess whoever the hell you get your questions from knows about apparently!!! And I stopped doing much of it after a while! I'm curious but I'm not some intrusive thought following maniac! Who would something like that in real life?

Sunny: I thought dream worlds only held consequences when you wanted them to. I've only learned recently that was not the case.

Mari: To be fair little bro, you could say "you" had a good control of what you dreamt about.

Sunny: Also Kris likes stabbing stuff? I don't remember them being that into it.

Kris: …I have several knives. I keep them in a case to display.

Player: I've seen Sunny walk past it several times. I believe he thinks it's for the kitchen.

Kris: F@#k kinda kitchen needs that many knives.

Frisk: *I wonder why the ask never mentioned Chara.

Chara: I only have the one dagger, Frisk.

Frisk: *And you take care of it like your own kin.

Chara: I use it for gardening! It needs to be cleaned 3 times after use!

Moving on, this next one is for you, Chara.

Chara: Well, I'm not one to brag, but in my living days I was referred to be a "demon who comes when you call their name." I now hold view this title as endearing, as I take pride in seeing how I can personally unsettle humans (and sometimes monsters) with nothing but my words and face. Mari is the nice, gentle, caring older sister of our little ghostly group, so really, I don't see a need for it to be a contest.

Frisk: *I mention the time with the cookies-

Chara: *through gritted teeth* That was admittedly a moment of weakness spurred by my love of chocolate. I acknowledged my defeat that day only to claim what I wanted. A deal was made, so it doesn't count.

Sunny: Never mess with older sisters. They hold a monumental power behind their smile.

Mari: Tee-hee~

That brings me to you, Mari.

Mari: I can say that Mari's Magical Might is only growing with everything I learn! VIOLET HANDS, healing magic, teleportation, and Alphys said that I might even have an affinity for Water Magic as well! Undyne was so excited when she heard that!

Sunny: I think it's cool, I hope being linked to her gives me magic too.

Aubrey: At least you have a chance! I'd pray to the heavens a hundred times if it meant I had powers half as sweet as yours, Mari!

Mari: Aw thank you! As for what my mother thinks, at first she was shocked that I wanted to learn magic, but she quickly changed her tune when she saw that I could help around the house better with my HANDS.

Mari: As for the latter question... unfortunately full controlling shape-shifting is something I'm still getting the hang of. I'll let you know the moment I'd be able to do... that!

Chara: I'd say she's lucky to have as many experienced teachers, such as myself, to help her discovering her power.

Frisk: *I express my relief that Chara has not yet burned a part of the forest during their training with Mari.

Chara: It was ONE time, we agreed with that white furry forest guardian to not train too close to the dense forest. I am not some brainless pyromaniac.

Frisk: *The first thing you did when you could do magic was seeing if you could make a fire sword.

Chara: Well, some fire is obvious, I am a Dreemurr after all.

This next ask is for you, Frisk. This one comes from all the way in Japan!

Frisk: *…These asks are getting way too personal.

Chara: You have just noticed?

Frisk: *How do I say this... If you are referring when I could load the entire timeline to a previous state, then I'm afraid I am not able to do that anymore. I cannot even load my most recent save, the one just after breaking the barrier.

Chara: There is little in this universe, let alone this world, that can affect time with the degree of control that we, er, Frisk had when they first entered the underground.

Frisk: *Even when I did have it, I didn't have much control of it. I only remember it forcing a load when I... lose enough HP. That was enough however, as I didn't use it for anything else.

Frisk: *As to theories on how to get that power back, I can think of a few methods...

Player: You still owe me an explanation on the white sparkle save point thing back in the "DW."

Kris: I don't owe you anything.

Player: You JUST called me your lifeline!

Kris: I don't see other people giving their UV drip a trophy.

Teto Monoko: *sleeps soundly*

----_--__--- - - --- - -

Oh woops, I think that ask was a little corrupted.

Mado: ?

Sunny: Oh, a water stone. Thanks.

Sunny: Um, I didn't have AC in my old house. It feels nice on hot days.

Aubrey: Hey, I know that were getting a lot of our personal life out there, but isn't it strange we can see the names of most who's asking us?

Well, we do in fact have 1 more anonymous question, it's for you Mari.

Mari: Oh! Well, ask away! There's no shame in a little anonyma-

*Mari is crushed by the large ask!

Sunny: !!!

Aubrey: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, MARI!

*SLASH!*

Chara: Mari, are you alright?

Mari: Ugh, yeah, I'm fine. You know, ghost biology and all that.

Aubrey: What was up with that guy!? Thinking they know you like that! That was infuriating!

Sunny: Mari's not an idiot...

Mari: I'm inclined to agree, but...

Aubrey: Wh- don't tell me you agree with them Mari! It was just an accident, nobody could've how it would end!

Mari: They we're right about one thing though... I was selfish.

Aubrey: W-What...? No, it was-

Mari: You could say it was many things. The pressure from our parents. The pressure from the town. The looks of excitement on our friends faces. It was a lot, but in the end... it was me. I was the one who told Sunny to keep going. After all my fingers swelled. After his fingers started to bleed. After getting one note wrong, after getting the timing a bit off, after thinking it was just F*%KING not good enough apparently!

*Mari's spirit shakes.

Sunny: Mari...?

Mari: I... I said earlier I thought it was my will to be by your side that kept me linked to you. To be honest, I thought that it had to be the case, because the only thing I wanted to do after... everything that happened...

Mari: Was to be a better sister for you. To do- ANYTHING, to redeem my awful, stupid, selfish mistake. I... honestly don't know what else-

Chara: It was your determination.

Mari: …what?

Chara: In your final moments, you decided that whatever you had left, your love of your brother, your fear of failure, the need to repent and be a better person, whatever in your soul that was not fading, was worth still living for.

Chara: The moment you decided that, all of those feelings exploded into life, into determination. And so you kept going, not just for your brother, but also for the small part of you that still wanted to live. That so called selfishness you speak of.

Mari: …H-how... do you...?

Chara: …

Chara: Because I asked that question too.

Mari: Huh...

*Mari notices Sunny's expression.

Mari: Sunny, look at me.

Mari: I... I know I hurt you. I know even if you say that your okay I can still feel what I've done to you even today. And it even might be more selfish of me to say this. But I just want- I NEED you to know,

Mari: However long I have left, if it's just a few months, if it's how long I would've lived before. I promise that I will do everything in my power to be with you. To help up you when you feel down. To stop you from hurting yourself or others. To listen when no one else will. Even if you don't think you deserve it. Even if I think I don't deserve you. I will do anything to be the best sister I wasn't before. Because I love you, Sunny.

Sunny: …

Sunny: …then...

Sunny: I want you to forgive yourself too.

Mari: …

Mari: O-Okay... I'll try...!

Kris: …I wish I had an older sibling.

Player: In another life, buddy.

Kris: …cool.

…We have one more question for all of you, If you want to keep going.

Mari: Hehe *sniff* of course. Go ahead.

Alright. Final question from:

Sunny: I think... the time I tripped on Mewo's litterbox and spilled it over the floor.

Mari: I'm pretty sure me calling you over to surprise you with a fake spider that day tops that, hehe.

Aubrey: I... patted Basil on the back, accidently opening one of his wounds after That Night. I felt terrible, but he was just glad for me to be worrying about him again.

Frisk: *I recall the hours "we" spent making Dog Residue to buy the elusive Temmie Armor. I equipped it just before Asgore. Not the best time spent.

Chara: The Buttercup Pie. I guess it counts since Dad was just sick from it. Although the ripples that event would cause could count as "life-ruining"

Mado: (Too many to say.)

Mado: I... called one of my teachers by their first name back in my birth town! It was suuuper embarrassing.

Monoko: -- Gomen... -- Monoe-nee... -- cookie... -- oishii...

Player: I did that thing where you held shift to quickly craft things and I accidently made 9 Diamond Hoes in a Hardcore world.

Kris: And the most stupidest thing I will do is just around the corner, so stay tuned for that.

And that will be all! Got anything to say to everyone watching and reading?

Player: Oh- uh... thanks for all your strangely invasive questions.

Kris: We honestly didn't expect to get as many as we did.

Mado: We hope you enjoyed this little treat on Halloween!

Frisk: *I express my gratitude for all of you who are still with us for this special.

Chara: It... took a while. Whether or not it was planned, efficient, or worth it in the end is yet to be decided.

Aubrey: Thanks for all the things you say,

Sunny: The stuff you make,

Mari: And the love you share!

Until next time!

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crplpunkklavier · 1 year

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thoughts on vongole, and kristoph as a dog owner

DISCLAIMER: i am not a professional in dog care nor training. i have had and trained a dog for many years now, but he is not a retriever. i've studied up on other breeds out of curiosity (and due diligence tbh). if anything i say here is factually wrong and you know more, feel free to reach out!

Kristoph: Ah, yes, she's surprisingly delicate, you know. Requires careful tending. But, she is my "best friend", as they say. Phoenix: "Best"...? Come on, now I'm starting to feel bad for you. Kristoph: Oh? Of course, she's known to bite if handled roughly. Phoenix: Y-Your rose bites? Kristoph: ...... I was speaking of the photo next to the rose. My retriever, Vongole. Cute, but feisty.

this is all we ever learn about vongole. am i going crazy about it? maybe. (also, after this line, phoenix thinks to himself, "every dog has its thorn..." as if that means literally anything. i love him so)

vongole is one of my favorite mysteries about kristoph. she is not at all relevant in aa4, and if she was only ever going to be in this tiny bit of flavor text (so easily missable too!) why put her in at all? was she going to play a bigger role in a later game that shu takumi never got to bless us with? i guess it's possible. that would lift vongole on the same level as those pesky black psyche locks. but either way, we have her here, and that means i get to overanalyze her :)

or more accurately, i get to overanalyze kristoph gavin on the basis that he has a dog who

is a retriever

is "surprisingly delicate"

requires careful tending

is his best friend, as they say

bites if handled roughly

hey. what the fuck does any of that mean, kris?

lets start with the breed. i've mentioned in a post before that many of us seem to have collectively decided that vongole is a golden retriever, which seems fitting, since those are famous blondes, just like the other gavins. however, "retriever" doesn't automatically mean golden retriever! there are a few other retriever breeds. you're probably familiar with labrador retrievers, for instance. i have a curly-coated retriever in my neighborhood who, you guessed it, has a charming curly coat, pitch black, and is a trained service dog!

we often see retrievers as service dogs, because they're pretty fit for the job. the name retriever comes from hunting though. while my own dog is more engaged in actually running ahead and killing prey himself (no i don't let him do that.), retrievers have been bred to go and, well, retrieve prey for the hunters. this of course means that you can also teach them to retrieve other stuff for you fairly easily. like meds, socks, blankets -- stuff a service dog would be helpful for.

apart from that, retrievers are also known to be good family dogs, because they're friendly, affectionate, loyal, and quick to trust. they're also very active, and pretty smart! there are minor differences between the various retriever breeds, but this much goes for all of them to some extent.

why in the world does kristoph have a dog?

i... just..... does he seem like a dog person to you?? i just.... i mean, he doesn't seem like a cat person to me either. or a plant person. maybe he doesn't seem like a person to me. i just really stumble over this sometimes, because it seems wild to me to think that kristoph gavin got himself a retriever just because he.... wanted a retriever?

the guy works what's pretty much an office job. his salary shouldn't be very high, as a defense attorney? but, well, he's implied to like high-profile cases, and he had the money to employ an assistant, so i don't think he's poor. he needs time and space for a retriever, though. vongole isn't a little shih tzu who's happy to just hang out on your lap all day. again, REALLY active. this is a dog who wants AT LEAST an hour of outside time a day. kristoph gavin doesn't even look like he's ever seen the sun. but ok.

one frankly hilarious route i've considered is that he wanted a dog for protection. klavier says he's been "living in fear" ever since zak gramarye disappeared on him, and then he panicked enough to straight up beat him to death the minute he saw him again seven years later. he's paranoid, he's spying on everyone involved. i think kristoph really was very scared. so maybe at some point he figured he'd get himself a dog that would protect him from assailants.

i say this is hilarious because..... a retriever is not the dog you want, man. like, yeah, she'll be loyal to you if she likes you. the problem is she is also really quick to like you, or the intruder in your house, or the guy coming to your office to kill you. if kris got a retriever because he wanted a guard dog, that was a fantastic bit of stupidity, and i personally love it for him.

another angle i like, one that makes him a little less stupid and a little more horrifying, is appearances.

But, she is my "best friend", as they say.

this line really does something to my brain. kristoph gavin talks like a law text book at the best of times, so the somewhat awkward wording of it isn't really what's bothering me. it's the fact that he said it at all. it's that very last part. the "as they say." because, yeah, sure, people say that. yeah yeah, man's best friend, we've all seen it.

and it just... seems so very kristoph to latch onto a truism about human beings, to make himself look like one. look at him! he's got a suit, he's got a job. he's totally on speaking terms with his brother. when the bar association voted to disbar phoenix, he was the only one who voted against that (one more thing i'd love to make a big post about one day lol), he has regular dinner with his good friend phoenix wright, he has an assitant, he has a law office. he probably has a car, because it's LA. he has a savings account. that's not, like, canon, but he does. of course he also has a dog. he's just a regular human guy! he likes poetry and the arts. his best friend is a dog, and more than that, a breed which is known for its gentleness, and for how great they are with..... children :)

let's all sit back and let that chill go down our spine for a sec.

kristoph got a retriever to prove something. kristoph got a retriever for the same reason that he made friends with vera misham before he tried to kill her.

remember what his prison cell looks like? with the books, the arm chair, the violin? he keeps up appearances, even after his arrest. of course he'd put up a framed picture of his beloved dog. like any normal human person would.

but did he treat her well?

well...... well.

here's the thing.

i don't think kristoph gavin is an animal abuser. i don't think he treated her badly. but that's a sliding scale, with dogs, and with most pets, isn't it? if i'm never outright mean or violent to my dog, that's great, but if i never give him enrichment, if i never learn to read his body language, if i never give him what he fundamentally needs as a certain animal of a certain breed, i'm still not treating him well. i'm not treating him right, i'm just not overtly torturing him.

back to kristoph. in this vein, i often think about what we hear of his interactions with young vera. one thing that particularly sticks out to me is how drew misham says that kristoph was one of the very few people who ever made her smile.

kristoph clearly has a way with children, to an extent. he knows to get her that stamp -- he actually understands her childish fascination with magic a little too well and gets her a present that she likes so much it thwarts his whole plan. keep in mind that vera was 12 -- when kristoph's younger brother was 12, kristoph was 19 already, old enough to consciously learn things about the 12-year-old in his household. he knows kids, and he gets through to them.

but never fully, does he? klavier figured out something was off about the way his brother came to his office. and even vera, despite smiling at kristoph so earnestly, despite really loving that stamp, despite being only 12, even vera was so horrified by that little twitch of the devil's hand. there was always something uncanny about kristoph.

why am i bringing that up? i'm not saying everyone who's good with children will be good with dogs, or the other way around. but there is common ground. you're dealing with a living thing that's smaller than you, dependent on you, and you're building a relationship that'll take a lot of calmness, understanding, and reassurance. kids often can't express themselves in ways adults would immediately understand, and neither can dogs.

and i think kristoph got about as far with vongole as he did with vera. i think vongole liked him fine. again, retrievers are quick to like people. he was there, he fed her, he probably gave up trying not to let her up on the couch. sure she liked him. but did she listen to him?

before i ever had a dog, my mom used to tell me that she thought the concept of dog training (the german word is Hundeschule, so literally "dog school") was stupid, that she'd had a dog as a kid, and that dog didn't have to know any tricks, it wasn't a circus animal! well, my mom was also bad with every pet we've ever had, and with all three of her kids. so.

look, it's important that your dog listens to you. i'm just saying. no, it doesn't have to know "circus tricks," although depending on the breed, it might have fun learning them! and it definitely just. it needs the basics. your dog needs to understand what "no" means, and your dog should come when called -- i know we're all tired of alpha terminology and it's constantly used wrong, but, genuinely, your dog needs to know that you're the leader of the pack. your dog needs that, it's good for the dog. turns out i was also using it wrong! this reblog explains what i meant to say better than i could. my point was that you have got to give your dog something, some form of structure. for the dog's own cognitive development, for you to work as a union, and last but not least to make sure you don't bring harm to the outside world!

and, yeah, this is absolutely the part where i think kristoph failed. because no, i don't think he was ever violent with her or anything, but i also don't think he would ever have the patience it takes for solid dog training.

why else does he, unprompted, bring up that she is "surprisingly" delicate, and requires "careful" tending? kris, did you not know? why are you surprised by how delicate a literal living thing is? did you accidentally step on her paw and she acted like it's the end of the world? yeah, they do that. did you come home late from the office one night and there was a pile of poop on your overturned laundry basket? hmm. if only something could be done about that.

the "bite if handled roughly" part is the last one i wanna talk about, because that also gave me a lot of trouble.

i mean... dogs bite. they do! mine bites. especially puppies are happy to play-bite, often into hands, and it's important to get that under control while they're young. this also loops us all the way back around to vongole being a retriever. remember, they're bred to carry stuff in their mouths. it is in this dog's dna to use her mouth for stuff.

this means she might be bite-happy in a very specific way. i've actually read multiple times that retriever bites are "soft", because again, they're just supposed to retrieve game when hunting, not kill it themselves. it's already dead, and a dog actually biting into it would make it yucky for humans to eat. retrievers are good at moderating bite strength for that.

but.... it doesn't sound like that's what kristoph is talking about, is it? she's known to bite if handled roughly. that sounds like she really bites. and of course she does. if handled roughly. hey, what the fuck does that mean, handled roughly? who's handling her roughly?

again, this doesn't necessarily scream animal abuse. as @mlmschemes, out of professional experience, has brought up, there are certain things that need to be done during a vet visit that dogs don't always love, especially if they aren't used to it, like nail trims, to state the easiest one. you might have to hold a dog down for that. and if that dog is trained and socialized like ass, yeah, she'll bite if handled roughly.

but, hey, don't worry. she's just feisty. :) cute but feisty, he says.

just like every fucking dog owner i've ever met in the neighborhood who has a half-rabid untrained menace that would probably tear my face from my skull if not for its stupid retractable leash.

anyway.

kristoph wants to be a dog owner because it's a fun normal human thing to do and makes him look non-threatening, well-adjusted, and generally likeable. but he sucks at dog training. nobody has ever fully believed the guy--fucking, even apollo IMMEDIATELY deserts him in court. kristoph lives a superficial life and vongole probably has zero trouble becoming the best friend of whoever gets her next.

just to bring this already embarrassingly long post to a point and an end, here's some quick tips from me for portraying vongole, and by extension kristoph dealing with her:

retrievers are affectionate, so vongole is probably a cuddler

kristoph probably has fur fucking everywhere. he comes into the office with a briefcase thats just filled with lint rollers

vongole knows exactly zero commands. if you have food in your hand, she will sit down, because sometimes that gets her things, and she will try to use it at every possible opportunity

if sitting down doesn't work, she will become more and more annoying. if my dog felt like i wasn't giving him enough attention, he used to walk up to my desk and nudge my forearm with his nose so strongly that my grip on my computer mouse would slip and i would fuck up whatever i was working on.

kristoph loses patience with her. it'd be interesting to write, because he'd want to save face if it happens in public, too. he can't yell at his dog there, that'd look bad. i imagine a lot of insistent leash tugging, a lot of ill-advised grabbing/holding her (here's where he probably gets bitten too), and a lot of smiling and laughing and being like "ohh, haha, she's just so feisty today, what's going on ooo she's so nice normally haha"

i doubt he played much with her? she probably had toys, but for kristoph to interact with them a lot.... you can play fetch with retrievers pretty well, because, once again, they're retrievers. and that's a pretty classic "look at me i'm a normal dog owner" thing to do, so he probably has some like, tennis balls and stuff that he'd throw for her. but that's probably it.

if you write vongole changing owners to klavier and/or apollo, please please please let her do a full 180. if you're going by what i've theorized here vis à vis kristoph, that dog is DESPERATE to learn. dogs want jobs and she would be SOOO happy to be trained.

forget that thing about old dogs and new tricks. my dog is 8 years old and i'm currently teaching him a new command, for funsies. it's working and he loves it. you can write vongole becoming a model citizen at any age. i implore you to.

#😳#imco #im not copying this into openoffice to check the word count. its so much #i got carried away lol #ace attorney #kristoph gavin #vongole #ash i hope it was ok to @ you!! lmk if not then ill remove the url

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mar64ds · 1 year

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OKAY let me talk about Lancer for one second

Lancer is a character that means a lot to me, he’s a sweet and hilarious kid but he’s a lot more than that, and even if he’s a young kid there is a lot to talk about him. Lancer is a kid that has barely ever had any sort of support, sure he’s the prince and his dad orders his army to take care of him, but it’s very clear to Lancer that nobody actually really likes him, this is not something he’s not aware of, he knows. When Susie is nice to him he’s surprised and confused because he’s not used to anyone genuinely enjoying his company

Even though King Spade’s army is ordered to look after him it doesn’t mean Lancer is being properly taken care of. He didn’t eat anything for breakfast, nobody is really checking on him to make sure he’s okay and overall he was ordered by his father to get rid of the lightners, him, a little kid. I do believe Rouxls Kaard is the closest thing Lancer had to someone that genuinely cared for him before Susie and the others showed up but he didn’t fully filled the role of a parent yet, but he did more than everyone else and that i appreciate, still Lancer still seems like a kid that needs more support and he shows a lot of signs of being neglected or mistreated by others

But let’s talk about King Spade now and... god it’s a lot. Lancer knows Susie could hurt his dad and instead of talking about it he immediately orders his dad’s army to imprison her and Kris and Ralsei to ‘protect them’. Lancer gets really really quiet and nervous when they talk about his dad, Lancer’s impulse reaction is to not talk things out and protect his friends in a very drastic way. Lancer knows Susie could hurt his dad and his dad could hurt Susie and the others, he’s left in the middle of it all and he feels like it’s ALL his responsibility. Susie keeps attacking and he doesn’t move, he STILL tries to prevent her from going near his dad and for the both of them to get hurt, and he doesn’t try to explain things anymore, Susie keeps attacking and he keeps getting more and more hurt and he doesn’t say anything. Eventually Susie stops and they talk things out, and Lancer makes it so obvious that he walks on eggshells with his dad, he knows what can make him mad, if he knew he could talk things out with his dad he would have tried already, instead he got really scared and took a very drastic choice in order to protect his friends, even if that meant he would get hurt in the process, even if that meant he could never see his friends again, even if it meant he could never talk to the one person that has brought him more happiness than anyone else. I don’t think I need to explain this, but all of this, this is a huge sign of abuse, this is a huge sign of someone living in a toxic family environment. The kid should not walk on eggshells, the kid should not hide secrets from his parents because they know ‘they would get mad if they found out’, the kid should not be scared to talk things out with a parent, the kid should not be more mature than the parent. Susie promising him that she would not hurt his dad and that together they can do anything are the only reason why Lancer tried to talk to his father, not because he trusts him, but because he trust Susie and their friendship

The way that King Spade talks to Lancer is very clear emotional manipulation. Trying to frame the people that actually like you for who you are and make you feel happy and good about yourself as something bad, demonize them and tell you whatever good emotion you’re feeling is wrong and they have ‘poisoned you’ and you should listen to your parent, they know better. The second Lancer confronts him he immediately loses his composure, yells and threatens him. I really really don’t think the fountain is the only thing to blame here, Lancer seems really aware of this behavior, this doesn’t seem like an unique situation that only happened once

We see in chapter 2 that King Spade is not COMPLETELY evil and he does care about Lancer but this does not excuse anything, if anything it just makes it more realistic, abusers are not completely evil, you do have good moments with them and in many occasions they can love you and care about you but all of this doesn’t make all the times they have hurt you go away. I think the fact that Lancer doesn’t miss his dad and is happy to not spend time with him anymore and instead sees Queen, Rouxls and Susie and the rest as his family is good enough proof that he doesn’t need his dad to be happy

Susie and Lancer both seem like kids that live in toxic households, their friendship makes a lot of sense for many reasons but it’s very clear to me that a big reason why they can relate so much to one another is because of this. They mean a lot to me

Anyway that’s all, I care about Lancer a lot we have to talk more about him

#deltaruneundertale #cw abuse #anyway. mhm. if lancer isnt relevant later on i will delete this game

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frisky-bitz · 3 months

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went on a rant about this to one of my friends and now i want to put it here.

so, when it comes to future chapters of deltarune, lots of speculation i see is regarding the aftermath of the weird (snowgrave) route. tbh, while making your own theories is valid ive always really hated when people say that other characters (especially like, toriel) are going to carry on "snowgrave" in future chapters. it just doesn't feel right to me.

i really hope that the weird route continues to focus on noelle. because for one, i can't see anyone taking noelles place, kris and noelle have such a unique and special friendship which makes their dynamic in snowgrave possible, and i just can't see it working out with anyone else the way it does with them. also, just because the way i see it there's already so much potential in how the rest of noelles story is gonna unravel.

like, noelle is aware that the voice commanding her is NOT kris. she says something about how she wants to figure out what is happening with them and try to help them (paraphrasing because I do not know the actual quote), and I could see that ending in her directly confronting us. which would be literally BADASS

because we know that part of noelle's character is learning how to stand up for herself, at the end of the normal route she finally stands up against queen. but in snowgrave, she can't stand up against kris. she is absolutely terrified of them, of us. she goes through with everything because she trusts kris, but at the same time she knows that something is terribly wrong.

she is starting to catch on. and while she doesn't exactly learn to stand up for herself the same way (although.. I guess she kind of does, through violence), she is becoming way more bold. the scene with susie we don't get to see in the weird route? yeah, something definitely went on between those two, something that she would not have the guts to do in the normal route.

so what I think is that, eventually she won't be scared of us. she's gonna end up confronting us, and when that time comes, we're the ones who should be scared of her

#snowgrave #weird route #deltarune #noelle holiday #deltarune analysis #?#is that even the right way to tag this #im an avid noelle fan if you couldnt tell #ive been insane about this girl since CHAPTER 1 #long long LONG incomprehensible post sorry

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eric-the-bmo · 2 months

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Blood and Silicon ep 17: Are these guys bothering you, queen?

[Summary: The boys all decide to get together at the request of Percy, and Leo informs Blake of some decisions he's made- but a call from Pauline raises alarms.] @kentuckycaverats @sanguineasylum @zwoelffarben

December 21 (Tuesday), 2021.

The coterie have all been busy with various tasks throughout the past few days- Blake and Leo have met up with some other characters, and Percy's managed to secure himself a place to stay in the territory. As of now, Leo heads over to the palm tree circle in their territory to finally investigate it. With Sense the Unseen, he again notices the weird energy in the center (and wonders if there's some alien-related shenanigans), as well as some odd, over-layering echoes of the trees on top of themselves. With a failure of a roll to investigate further, Leo has no fucking clue what he's looking at. (ghost trees???)

----

Meanwhile, Percy texts Blake he'd like for them all to meet up, as he had done an investigation into their territory, and would prefer to not talk about it over the phone. Blake relays this message to Leo over text, saying he'll be there to pick him up for this in like 45 minutes, and Leo texts back that he's at the palm circle.

[Blake: What for? Leo: Just investigating things. Looking at trees.]

He says he hasn't found anything of note yet, and Blake comments he received new info about the circle and would like to talk to him about that when they meet.

[Blake: Try not to go shaking any trees in the meanwhile. Leo: Noted.]

Blake then texts Fiorella, wondering if she went to the palm circle since their last meeting; she asks what's going on, and Blake lets her know Leo's looking around it. Fiorella comments that he's young, so he's unlikely to disturb much, but to let her know if anything happens.

Blake heads on over to pick up Leo, who is in fact looking at the trees; occasionally someone walks by and gives the Malkavian a strange look. Blake gets his attention with a whistle, and Leo heads on over- he gets into the passenger seat, because Blake trusts him more than Percy. After letting Leo ramble for a bit on the ride to Percy's, Blake asks him why he was at the circle; and Leo, remembering a promise he made to Blake to communicate better [during a private session in which they had investigated Kyra's base], admits he had met up with his friend (aka Kris) a few days ago, and they had both begun to wonder about the circle. She had found him due to one of her friends being "really good" in the tech department- Leo mentions he should maybe get a new phone as Blake puts his head in his hands, and tells Leo if they were good enough to track him down that means they might be able to figure out their nightly habits. Even if Leo vouches for his friend and her acquaintance, that doesn't mean someone else can't find out through this and report to someone else; she might be a liability. Blake wonders how they found Leo, and figures they must know about vampires in general, right? What else are they not telling, or will eventually find out? For Leo's own safety, as well as theirs, it's not a good idea to keep in touch with them- especially since he's already not on the best terms with Harrison. Leo comments that he continues to make bad decisions, and tells Blake he had made plans to visit his family for the holidays, as it seemed his sister wanted him to be there- however, he does in fact plan for it to be last time he sees them.

[Blake leans back in his seat. "For Christmas, right?" His voice is sympathetic. Leo nods. "I agreed to it before I realized the whole- uh..." He gestures to his cross necklace, and lets his hand fall as he trails off. He knows it might not go well.]

While he hasn't figured out a place to stay for the day yet (there's no way he's going to do that at his parent's place, they don't know he's a vampire), he does in fact have the funds, and a plane ticket. Upon Blake's concern, Leo says he can just lie about why he can't show during the day- perhaps his new job is the night shift, and it's ruined his sleep schedule. He plans to tell Harrison later tonight. Blake offers to go with him to Chicago, mainly because there's no way Harrison will let him go by himself.

Blake sends Percy a text he's here to pick him up, and Percy arrives (once again in a very nice outfit) and enters the car. He says he hopes they had a good evening so far, and pulls something out of his bag: a map of part of the city. A red circle highlights their territory- there's X's, circles, and different colors to showcase good locations to hide, strategic exits and entrances, and possible drug dealer locations. It's very thorough. He hands it to Leo to look at later; Percy has another copy, so he can keep it- and as Leo puts it away in one of his coat's inner pockets, Blake lowkey tries not to laugh as he thinks Percy is a bit of a dork /lh.

After a moment, Blake informs them exactly what's up with the palm tree: according to a conversation he and Pauline had with Fiorella and her "cousin" earlier (Leo frowns at the mention of Fio), the veil between life and death is thinner in that circle of trees- And Fiorella isn't sure why the veil's like that there, so she's been wanting a closer look at it. For the past while she's been unable to do so due to Harrison owning the territory, but now that it belongs to the coterie, she might have a chance. Blake says he doesn't think she'll just start summoning specters in the middle of their territory, but he also doesn't know if she'll try to close it or not. Blake had brought some items from Kyra's old base over for Fiorella to look into, and in return for her doing so, the coterie might allow her to check out the palm tree circle. Percy wonders what she aims to get out of this and suggests to watch her carefully when she looks around. Blake says he plans to, and doesn't care to know why Harrison hadn't looked into the palm circle before.

The two older vampires agree they don't like Harrison, and while Leo partially agrees with them, the first level of his blood bond makes him trust the man a bit more than they do.

But then Blake's phone rings: It's Pauline- which is weird, because she normally texts him. ["Mr. Moore," She says, in a voice not as put-together as usual. "Um- I- I may be in a bit of a situation."] She says she's certain that she's being followed.

He talks to her calmly as she states a car's been tailing her even though she's just been driving in a circle for the past few minutes, and she knows it would be a bad idea to go back to her haven. She's unable to tell the model of the car when Blake asks about it, but lets him know it's a larger car with tinted windows; she thinks the figures inside are masculine. Blake gives Pauline advice on how to lose them, and to meet him at a parking garage nearby; he's already starting to head towards it. He advises she doesn't park until she sees the coterie arrive, and to park near his car.

As Blake continues talking to Pauline throughout the drive (and we learn she has a shotgun in the trunk of her car), Percy taps Leo's shoulder and gestures towards the map in his pocket. Leo pulls it out, and Percy taps Blake's shoulder and quietly points out spots in their domain that would make for good hiding spots. Blake nods in response. Percy mentions that he's currently armed, stating it now so he doesn't startle them with the fact later (Leo asks what kind of gun it is- it's a handgun).

----

The boys make it to the parking garage (which has many exits), and Blake and Pauline park next to each other- her car's pretty nondescript, since she's gotten rid of her hearse after the museum escapade. Soon after she parks, a car that matches Pauline's description passes by and parks a short distance away. The men inside are wearing ski masks- totally not sketchy at all.

Blake gets out of his jeep to greet Pauline, acting all casual as a way to avoid suspicion from the men in the car, and she tries her best to play along. They whisper for a moment, confirming it's the right car and yeah, it has clear view of them- Pauline seems visibly worried- and so Blake activates Blush of Life, quickly texts the group, and heads on over to the men.

[Blake: "Going to meet with our new friends, no need to join me yet. Just keep an eye on them. Don't want to startle them."]

Leo tells Percy about the text, and lets him know about an idea he has- the Malkavian then checks to see if the men have any supernatural energies about them (they don't). Leo reclines his chair back far enough so he's out of the mens' sight, activates Obfuscate, and exits the jeep and makes his way over to their car. Percy keeps an eye on the scene.

[Percy, to Blake: "Mr. Leo is approaching. Watch your aim if things escalate."]

Meanwhile, Blake's approached the car with a cheerful wave. He keeps up the casual act and gestures for them to roll down their window. They don't, so he takes out his phone and types on the note app, showing it to them through the window. [Do you think you can roll down your window? I just wanna talk :-)] One of the men takes out a notebook to write a response: [No.]

They communicate like this through the window: Blake why they've been following Pauline, and the driver starts to respond with the notebook again before the other tries to stop him. [I'm sure you know.] [Well, I think we're at an impasse then.] [We've got time.] One of them takes a sip of coffee, prompting Blake to call them "goofy motherfuckers"- and again, one of them reaches to write something in the notebook before the other slaps his hand away. [Let your boy speak!] The second one flips back to a previous page: [No]

(Somewhere during this, Blake finally notices the text Percy sent, and he dies a little bit inside /hj)

Meanwhile, Leo looks through the windows of the car to see what they've got in the back: He sees a briefcase, a few tools he can't quite see the details of, another bag, and some duct tape. He texts Blake this information, being careful to send it when the phone isn't being held towards the window. (And Blake is proud that Leo is doing something proactive!) Leo also checks out the license plate as Blake threatens to call the police on the duo, because it really doesn't look good for them, being two men who were following a young woman around, and states that as her friend he's worried about her safety.

The men don't really respond, so Blake texts the group that he's going to call the cops. Percy asks what will happen if the men try to leave, and Blake says they'll give them a reason to stay.

[Leo: As in a fight? Pauline: Do note the method of which we are communicating, Leo.]

Blake checks out the front of their car through the windows- he sees a small book in the dashboard area, the coffee cups in the cupholders, and amidst some papers, something small is reflecting the garage lights in that little side door pocket. He can't make it out. Meanwhile, Pauline calls the police and provides the license plate.

Blake, who's been assuming these two men to be drug dealers or some sort, continues to chat to the men even though he continues to get no response, even switching over to Spanish for a bit (Leo takes a note of that). Percy gets out of the jeep at this point and heads over, standing in a way that makes it so the two men can't leave without probably running him over. The duo seems to be stuck here.

But then in quick succession one of the men reaches into the side door and pulls out a rosary- the coterie staggers back with the sudden feeling of horrible guilt, giving the duo the opportunity to get out of there with their car. Percy races back to get into Blake's jeep; Blake takes out his knife and throws it at the men's car tires. He uses soaring leap to jump onto his car's roof as Percy peels off (and Percy yells at him to be careful up there). [Leo drops Obfuscate and races over to Pauline, who's already getting into her car. "Go go go go-"] The Malkavians follow suit, and the second car chase of the game begins!

Notes/Commentary:

CAR CHASE CAR CHASE- MAN I LOVE THESE SM

Both Blake's Player and I had no idea the other had palm circle plans so it worked out really well?? Lmao what were you planning to do at the devil's sacrament?

I did a whole ooc bit about the palm trees being related to aliens solely bc it was a circle ["No, listen- it's a circle, aliens fucking love circles, dude-"]

I'm fully accepting the fact that Leo is just sketchy as hell btw. He's just Like That. The way he texts, and the other players made jokes about how sketchy he was by putting stuff in his trenchcoat, wough sorry leo <3

How do the other coterie members put up with Leo, goddamn

Blake calling Kris a liability,,, Leo's Beast also saying the same thing,,, there's nothing there really, it's just cool how they both did that unprompted.

Leo's gonna be so fucked for his christmas event, dude. He's got a touchstone there, two probably-religious parents... augh.

Hey Fiorella. hey girl. what're you planning.\

During the phone call Pauline had asked what to do if the strangers still find her and Blake was all "well we're on our way right now, no need to worry," but internally he was all "You think we're just going to leave you?" and just. augh

CHEKOVS GUN. PAULINE HAS A GUN IN THE BACK OF HER CAR, CHEKOVS GUN MOMENT PLEASE- [/lh]

Note: Blake carries knife, Percy carries gun. Surely me taking note of this isn't ominous at all-

I was hesitant on Leo sneaking over to look into their car, since Blake told him not to, but his player was all "When has Leo listened to Blake ever?!" "Yeah you know what you're right-"

Leo, my son, he's being a spy ☆ (ty for Blake's player suggesting he go check the back of the car ;-;)

Blood and Silicon is a comedy. The bit of Blake and the two men talking to each other via notes was so funny, it's even better in the recording. I love it here

BLAKE YOU CANT JST ASK THE MEN ABOUT THE BACK OF THE CAR THEYLL KNOW IM LOOKING OVER THERE-

Note: have Leo ask Blake about knowing Spanish

Other theories before the Religious Hunter reveal include: Those two cops Pauline had shoot each other, and people who work for the Thinblood/Caitiff gang we stole vampire weed from.

Rosaries.... Did Father William send these two?

#eric finally speaks #vtm chronicle #blood and silicon #Leo West

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lindszeppelin · 2 months

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I used to live in LA and I back up your friend saying paparazzi aren’t waiting for people, even in Malibu. I’ve literally never seen paparazzi but I’ve seen famous people. Like, REALLY famous people- who have been famous for decades and even in one instance was in the middle of a HUGE legal scandal. No paparazzi (and the legal scandal one was in 2019 so still very recent therefore regarding the same climate as how this stuff works now).

I don’t want to dislike Kaia (it doesn’t really feel good to dislike people, or at least it isn’t productive) but the more I realized the UK Daily Mail has been covering her or at least her family from birth, the more I realized she really isn’t anything special and just had PR this whole time. So many people still don’t know who or what a Kaia Gerber even is because not everyone loves fashion, we don’t live in a monoculture anymore where everyone is consuming the same content, and she’s hasn’t even done a lot in Hollywood besides being an obvious nepo baby by being so bad at acting and yet…she gets “caught” by the paps getting her damn green drinks and going to the gym? Make it make sense. That’s totally orchestrated. I can’t trust anything out of Kaia Gerber’s mouth once I put that all together. I know a lot of stars do this, but most actually have talent and we all know that she lol…doesn’t exactly have talent!

It’s all also a play from the Kris Jenner bible ( her and Cindy are friends…) by creating publicity and forcing relevance. Nothing is real or organic ( not even her social media…8 or 9 million last time I checked and yet most ppl I know in real life have never heard of her… #ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmm). Side note: has anyone ever investigated her social media stats on social blade (blaze?) or does nobody care enough about her to look into it?

When people wonder why Austin and Kaia are hiding…it’s because they can easily hide. Maybe Deux Moi spotting or fans on cell phones sometimes, but again, we’re not in a monoculture so not everyone knows who they are enough to care if they saw them (and I say this as an Austin fan who’s glad he’s getting his flowers; however he only recently made it in a major mainstream way and not everyone saw Elvis/are now learning more about him via MOTA and Dune. All due respect to him but he’s still being cemented into culture in real time and isn’t say, Matt Damon yet…but hey probably one day!). Also regarding both LA and New York, as your friend said, celebrities are around so we largely don’t care and do not take pics when we see them. It’s soooo easy to hide as a celebrity. It’s ridiculous when people act like the paps invade a celebrity’s privacy or that Austin (or anyone else for that matter) must be “hiding” and can’t be living a normal life. HA.

Final thought: even though I said Austin is just getting warmed up, let’s be real and admit he’s more respected than Kaia and likely more liked/known regarding household name recognition. And yet KAIA is papped more than her bf who was nominated for an Oscar?!? And people think that’s just an organic occurrence? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 People need to do some critical thinking and realize what’s happening here!

holy shit i love coming back home from dinner and seeing this beauty in my inbox

you said everything so flawlessly that we have been thinking and saying for a long time, and it's great that you put it in these terms. nothing is ever real or organic about kaia, and kaia with austin together. there are a lot of people her age with talent that i can respect, but she has zero talent and only gets what she does through her parents and by dating austin. it's simple as that. her dating austin was just another PR maneuver to keep her relevant.

#lindsay's anon asks

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stainedglassthreads · 10 months

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I’ve talked about this a lot before but I feel like what’s so great about Undertale’s characters is that all (well, most) of the flaws of the characters are really just their positive traits, exaggerated to such a degree that they’re no longer useful.

Asgore is a kind king who will always put the needs of his people before his own needs, and will stop to help even the meekest and lowliest Whimsun or Froggit. Even if if goes against his morals and slowly destroys his mental health until he wants to die. Asgore is very in-touch with his emotions for a male character, and is very open about crying easily and being kind to others--but he also lets his anger make him make a decision in front of the entirety of his kingdom that they love, but he regrets very, very soon afterwards. His traits and feelings and emotions exist at different levels--we get the example of him going to MK’s school to talk about responsibility, we get the note that anyone can come to his house at any time and talk about their problems, but we ALSO get the lead-up to his boss fight of monsters speaking of him like he’s a God they worship, because they fully trust HE will be the one to destroy the Barrier and lead them back to the Surface.

Toriel is kind and loving and dotes on her children, but she’s been through so much loss that she becomes smothering, overprotective, and overbearing. Toriel is an incredibly moral person, but she sticks so hard to her sense of ethics that she leaves her husband over it. Toriel sticks so strongly to her sense of ethics that, even when she has herself totally convinced that there’s no way to talk Monsterkind and Asgore down from their war, she still tries to teach Frisk how to peacefully defuse a conflict until she can come and scare off that monster. But she also fails to see how much harm even a child can cause with enough LV until it’s too late.

How Chara’s completionist tendencies are remembered as a cute character quirk by the Dreemurrs in the Winter Alarm Clock dialogue, but we see how horrifying it can be in No Mercy when Chara is stripped of emotion and remorse, left with nothing but the purpose of power. How Frisk’s determination can be equally terrifying--whether you choose Pacifist or No Mercy, it results in no monster you can find and fight being left behind. For better or for worse.

Undyne is passionate and dedicated and determined and wants so very much to imitate heroism. In No Mercy this is what spurs her character development and allows her to become Undyne the Undyine, but in Pacifist this also leads to her trying to chase down and brutally murder a child who has quite literally never harmed a fly. Alphys only ever wants to help people and be liked, but when she makes an honest mistake and creates the Amalgamates, she’s so terrified of how others will react that she hides them away and makes everyone miserable, herself included.

Etc, etc, etc. This great character writing even continues in Deltarune. Rudy wants to be the kind, chilled out parent to make up for his wife’s overbearingness--but at the same time, he knows he’s not doing so great right now, and it’s unknown if he’s ever tried confronting his wife about how she’s tried to raise Noelle and the effects it’s had on their daughter. Lancer is very earnest and eager to please, whether he’s trying to be the Bad Guy for his Dad, or Susie’s friend, and it hurts to see him so earnestly trying to protect Susie, even as she lashes out against him, in Deltarune’s first chapter. Ralsei tries incredibly hard to support and comfort Kris, to the extent he surrenders his own autonomy and free will. Asgore is still the kind and helpful and thoughtful king from Undertale--but he’s no longer a King, and he’s broke, and he sometimes sees his ex-wife at the grocery store, and if he doesn’t learn to move on from the past and put himself first it’s not going to end well, and Undyne is still passionate and heroic but she’s now stuck in a town where there’s no bad guys for her to fight, and--

...Anyways. I have Thoughts about utdr characters. The sky is blue. What else is there to say.

#utdr #undertale #deltarune

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radioroxx · 27 days

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the cool thing about ut, dr & uty is the way they work with people's moralities. every single person you fight is someone who is against you. at the end of the day they're also the characters filed down as your friends. some of them are killers. and while it's true that people can and will forget that conveniently, for the most part i think we all know, but we also know what circumstances made that a thing that they would/need to do. and we know that they won't do it again because of who they are and why they ever felt the need to in the first place

anyway yeah :] its not about being a good person or a bad person because the label of good or bad is extremely subjective - its about what they can and will do in the future

ITS ABOUT REDEEMABILITY AND ITS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. HONESTLY

i talked a little about how forgiveness plays into it and i love so so so much to apply these concepts to characters… those characters Are your friends and they Did attack you and you can say you dislike or enjoy a character all you want but none of it really. says anything to that character itself. but what DOES is whether or not you find that character to be forgivable … if its someone you would put that trust into again

undertale (and adjacent) does this sort of thing very often, though most likely since its uncommon for any of the characters to be. wholly and truly irredeemable. one character i am so so insane over (and sorry to change the subject but) is susie deltarune. i fucking love susie deltarune.

i love that no matter what she never changes herself, and that characters around her learn and grow to love her for who she is. we know for a fact susie is not the nicest, not the kindest, and that shes certainly done enough to be recognized as someone dangerous or troublesome (thinking back to chp 1 how many ppl congratulated kris/were surprised to find out they turned out fine after spending time with susie). AND NONE OF THAT REALLY CHANGES. but what DOES happen is that we get to know her more as a character and, as such, we forgive her. we find her redeemable.

(its not the best example i know… we dont see too much of her ‘before’ so its a hard comparison but- you get the idea?)

anyways. i hope any of that made sense i dont organize thoughts i just spit them out

#asks

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zombvibes · 10 months

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Wanna hear me ramble about an insignificant detail in deltarune that no one cares about except for me? ….cool ANYWAYS i just wanna alk about susie and noelle’s teasing habits because…..um……..susie noelle bff propaganda or something

Both Susie and Noelle tease their friends (or at least Kris) though in different ways.

Noelle’s teasing is more of a light nudge or a rough poke

* trust me this shows up in the game i just couldn’t find a video of it happening and didn’t feel like picking up my switch to find it either. it happens in the 1st ever mouse puzzle when you try and backtrack but you can’t because noelle stops you. not when you “proceed” but when you backtrack.

while Susie’s is more of a punch in the arm that stings a little.

however when it comes to teasing each other it’s pretty much on the same level

(noelle staying the same…)

(and susie softening her punch presumably to not hurt noelle too much)

I’m mostly bringing this up because i feel like people kinda…ignore this part of susie and noelle’s dynamic? and noelle’s personality in general because she does tease people a bunch. (at least from what i’ve seen…maybe people are and i just don’t see it)

Noelle may even tease berdly or at least wants to…

anyways this is me begging for more suselle (romantic or platonic idc) food where they poke fun at each other i cannot cook all of the food myself i need to eat out sometimes

#zombvibes never shuts up #i usually don’t do posts like these because i feel like i sound insane even if i’m not saying anything insane #anyways they’re soooooo bffs they’re besties forever #bestie pal buds gal pals i hope they hug #and also girlfriends #bff girlfriends

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signoraviolettavalery · 8 months

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My and @touchyourblood's vampire AU has now started spawning AUs of its own, and I think it's about time for a post about one of the storylines we've been spitballing over chat for the past few weeks (the following is a combination of my writing and hers).

In this one, Bojan is a vampire, Jan comes from a family of hunters and especially hates vampires/thinks they're monsters because when he was young a vampire fed on and almost killed his brother/mother/best friend/whoever. He originally joins the band to spy on Bojan, learn more about vampires, and then, once he finds proof that he's a monster (he's sure it's a question of if, not when), kill him. (For this to work Martin would have to be a guitar player who leaves to be replaced by Jan, just go with it). But, of course, things don't unfold as predicted...

Jan is wary at first, of course. He's entirely convinced that if Kris, Jure, and Nace know about the vampire thing and stick around, it's because Bojan has kept them around with promises of immortality, fame, or threats. As far as he's concerned, Martin has "escaped." And he wants to badly to make a contribution to hunter knowledge, to discover something new and useful, before ridding the world of this monster.

So he watches every interaction carefully. He tries to provoke Bojan sometimes, seeing if it might make him snap and reveal his true nature. He sees the camaraderie and trust between the other band members and doesn't understand it. They playfully insult him, disagree with him, and he never loses his temper or tries to assert his dominance. Instead, he's always there for his friends, supporting them, comforting them - and extending the same courtesy to Jan.

One time, one of them tosses Bojan over his shoulder to "force" him to go somewhere (boring interview?) and Jan expects him to turn violent or at least aggressive in some way, but Bojan just whines and pouts. He waits and waits for there to be some repercussions but nothing ever comes, Bojan seems to forget all about it like it was just some typical thing (it was).

Bojan, dramatic and brooding, often goes out late at night and wanders Ljubljana. Unable to sleep, trying to come to terms with his vampire reality, or just lost in thought. Jan follows him, expecting to catch him feeding at least once. After all, there are plenty of people on the streets late at night that no one would miss. It'd be very easy for Bojan to just take. But he never does.

One night, they come across a couple of super drunk girls stumbling home from a club. A perfect target, and when Bojan comes up to them Jan is on his guard, ready to defend them, thinking he finally has proof, but Bojan just gets them a cab because they're too drunk to get home.

At one point, he walks backstage and finds Bojan with an unconscious female fan. He's ready to spring into action, but no, the girl was just feeling unwell so Bojan took her backstage so she could lie down. He's fetching her water and helping her drink it, comforting her, asking if she's here alone, if there's anyone he can call, brushing her off when she bats her eyelashes and asks "whatever can I do to thank you?" "Oh good," he says when he sees Jan. "Can you get Kris and help find her friend? She should be somewhere in the audience." Stunned, Jan does.

He spies on one of Bojan's calls with Martin, who expresses concern that he's not feeding enough and that having to hide his secret from "the new guy" when they're basically together 24/7 isn't healthy for him. And he spies on Bojan feeding on Kris (the three other band members take turns). Bojan is resisting, hating hurting his friend, even if his friend is willing, while Kris tries to convince him he needs to feed. Bojan is careful as he bites a wrist, and stops....rather quickly, and on his own. That can't have been enough sustenance, and Kris seems to agree. "You didn't take enough," he reproaches.

"It's enough for now," Bojan says. "Here, rest." He binds his wrist oh-so-carefully, brings him some juice and a high-calorie snack.

And slowly, Jan comes to realize that Bojan is completely different from what he thought. That his first encounter with a vampire may have been with a monstrous predator, but that not every vampire is like that. He comes to think of him as a friend, even, and to trust him.

And so, one night, when Bojan is out, wandering the city, Jan follows him and Bojan finally lets Jan know that he knows he's being followed. He's sitting on top of a fountain, feet in the water, looking up at the Ljubljana castle and the moon and thinking.

"How long are you gonna keep following me?" he asks.

"Until I figure out what you're actually up to" Jan says, which isn't untrue. He hasn't seen Bojan feed once, but there must be a reason he's wandering the town almost very night.

Bojan shrugs. "Insomnia. worries. Thought that keep me up"

"about what?" jan pushes, wondering if bojan has killed. if that's what keeps him up at night. if he's fleeing from bad memories

"letting people down. failing at the things that are important to me. being alone."

All of which feels very familiar to Jan. In this moment, more than any other, he sees Bojan as painfully human. Flawed and scared and not an all-powerful predator. And this is when he drops the truth bomb that he knows what Bojan is. He explains it away as "I saw a vampire feed on a family member when I was young so I believe in them," which isn't untrue. And then he comes up to join Bojan where he's sitting.

"You sure you want to get so close to someone so deadly?" Bojan says. "No one around to hear you scream."

"I think I'm in the safest place in Ljubljana, actually," Jan replies, leaning his head on Bojan's shoulder and dangling his feet in the same fountain.

"how's that?" Bojan asks.

"well, you are the deadliest thing around, but you also strike me as someone who'd never let someone hurt those he cares about," Jan says.

Bojan nods. "No one but me," he says sadly. "I get to hurt them regularly."

"They agreed to it, didn't they?" Jan points out. "It's their choice."

"Yeah," Bojan says. "Even convinced me to complete the transformation, when I was turned."

"Huh?" This is a part of vampire lore Jan isn't familiar with.

"Oh, right." Bojan seems to remember that. "When you get turned, you have a day to feed and complete your transformation, or you die. I wasn't sure I wanted to do it. Be a predator, hurt people for the rest of my existence. But Kris and Jure and Martin were there. They convinced me, told me we'd figure it out together. Helped me learn to control myself."

And - oh. Jan had never realized it was a choice. A choice between life and death, granted, but a choice nonetheless. And Bojan hadn't wanted to choose this.

He feels like he seems both vampires and Bojan in a new light. How could he ever have considered that this man is a monster, a predator? It's not a boon, it's a curse that was forced on him, this half-life or death.

But Bojan doesn't know Jan is a hunter, or why he joined the band. So many secrets between them...

#vampire!bojan #more parts to come at some point obviously #joker out AU

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ephemeralove · 3 months

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blood on the whetstone

Rusalka reminds her of what she can never cease to be.

When she was little, she had wanted a mother... though not specifically a mother, per se. She had wanted a family, a friend, a companion, a confidant -- she had wanted someone, anyone, who when they reached out their hand would not strike her down, but pull her back up. She had wanted to be loved.

By the time she arrives in Rusalka, Katarina has been slotted into the place where she belongs. Like one piece out of many to fashion a weapon, she is pointed twice over: first by the church towards the terrible unknown, and second by their guide Keranes. She presents them neither crimes nor comfort -- only familiar faces with which to bloody their hands. They number fourteen, a perfect mirror, and by their sacrifice they might dismantle this illusory village and cut the evil from its heart. Yet look as she might, all Katarina sees are the faces of those who have been loved.

Then one rainy day there came a woman robed in lovely colors-- a lady, not a mother -- who extended her hand. Not that Reese had known what to do with it. She shrank away as violets do, staring, quivering, scared. At that, the woman had laughed. It was a beautiful sound; no one had ever laughed for her before; and so she could not hear how still no one ever had. My name is Eremiyah, the woman had said, and that would be the first and only time Reese called her by name alone. Eremiyah, she had repeated, and there were stars in her eyes.

And there are stars in her eyes, brilliant, blue, and bright. The confusion of why Kris is here is rarely ever comparable to the joy of the simple fact of it. Her hand hovers by his elbow, but when he speaks, she knows: he is not her Kris. Perhaps he is not even Kris at all. Keranes' words echo in the back of her skull, a death knell that calls for half his number, but in her selfishness she does not want to give him up, not even if he is false. She worries that this will be their undoing, and worries more that she might regret not following him when he pulls away.

Her chin, poised between thumb and forefinger; the first hand to hold and not to hurt. "You'll do as I say. Won't you, Reese?" Pressure placed lightly at the point of bone. She could break away, if she wanted to, but then she would disappoint her. Clarisse would scoff, and Roro would laugh in the way she'd learned she didn't like. Blood smears on the fine edge of a blade Reese hesitates to hold, beading against the soft flesh of her palm, and Lady Eremiyah smiles the smile she would do anything for. "After all, your life exists for mine."

The sun has only just kissed its zenith in the sky when she looks down upon a young man's corpse. The first attempt on his life comes from the very man who had loved him into this place; the first to claim it from a girl whose mercy is to usher him away once more. It is through their first incendiary actions that Rusalka's soil turns copper and foul, though she cannot find it in herself to blame them. If not them, then someone else would have broken this tepid peace. Someone else would have hated her for the blood they spilled, faulted her for the crimes she learned because of them. Rusalka is not so different from Knorda.

Knorda was only ever beautiful when it was silent. Reese had never loved it, but she had liked it most when the night swept away the day and all its angels went to sleep, so that finally she could scrabble through the garbage for a bite to eat, and finally she could have a moment of rest until morning's first unfriendly heel found her ribs again. They were what Lady Eremiyah taught her not to be -- no, she was a weapon of a different kind. Her timidity, her soft-spoken manner, every facet of who she was refashioned into a tool until she could no longer trust herself. ...until she learned that earnestness was the best way to slip a knife between the ribs.

On their second morning, she is minded of Altea Castle -- not before her departure, but after her return. The once-and-no-longer tactician wears all the mistrust and suspicion with the familiarity of one who would be uncomfortable without it, instead standing at a lonesome edge in contemplation of her worry. Such mundane things as were her joy before (Had he eaten enough? Slept enough? He wasn't hiding any injuries, was he?) are vanished in the moment; are her sorrow now. And for good reason: Kris never comes back.

She killed because she was told to, because that was what she was made to be, and because-- she knew well this was the truth-- she had never chosen for herself to be better. In the end, she still never chose for herself, but for a bright blue star. He was the first to offer his hand and let her be; without carving her, without remaking her, she was enough for him the way she was. And he had laughed for her, once. It was a beautiful sound; no one had ever laughed for her before; and so she could finally hear how wonderful it was to be loved.

The path out of Rusalka they cut for themselves (she is not alone in her mourning, in her worry and sorrow) ends with a body. He lays in the dirt like some half forgotten thing, like his corpse is a pedestal to triumph, and Katarina hates it. Loathes it. Herself most of all for the fact that she will continue regardless of if he is true and real, because death is absolution for a sinner, and the things (the person) he loves remain behind.

The path into what she supposed was her home was as dark as she remembered, for she and they had lived there, and it was never a place meant for lovable things. But there was something worth saving now, though he would live on without her, and though he did not need to be saved. Yet he was the choice she made, and so she led them, light into the darkness.

One final act of defiance, the metaphorical guillotine at her throat--

--the metaphorical guillotine at his throat, the weapon he once polished now having bled him dry--

--the weapon she once polished now having bled her dry, and Katarina leaves her body in the dirt, blood sticky beneath her hands--

--and Katarina leaves his body in the dirt, wildflowers mournful beneath his hands, and it terrifies her that she has no answer for the question heavy at the back of her mind.

Am I... different than I was back then?

They return to Rusalka; light ebbs into darkness ebbs into light. She considers in frenetic, wounded, resentful cycles all manner of things: Who was it? Did they think he was real? Why did they choose him? Was his blood so easy to spill? They make a torrent, a maelstrom, gnashing the kindness she wants to be between the fangs of heartache. And Keranes asked this of them, did she not? She had set them upon their hearts and by this upon each other, a tepid why offered without so much as a how -- and they all had been so happy to oblige.

...In the end, she does not kill because she chooses not to, even if choice has been a hard thing to learn.

(The blade remains sharp, for the past can never be unmade. It is part of her, and she is Katarina: a lady's broken blade, the king's knife, and the sum of the love she has been given & the blood on the whetstone.)

#drabble tag #i'll make a real one later HFHSDHFHSDF #WC: 1337

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bigshotcirca1997 · 1 year

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Okay people have been asking me to explains what stands out between snowgrave and no mercy/genocide . I struggle with reading and phrasing things so sorry if some of this sounds odd ,':3

how punishment works.

Snowgrave, albeit very dark and more blunt then no mercy, doesn't exactly punish you for putting berdly in a comatose state. THE most you get is noelle and susies relationship going back to susie thinking she's scared of her, and noelle also fearing her childhood friend but the player gets off scot-free. We haven't seen the whole game, but from what it looks like, you're going to be regarded as a murderer in that one fountain, where it doesn't even exist to the outside world. Nobody else is going to know how many you've really killed.

No mercy, on the other hand, everyone starts fleeing. People go from believing you can change, to trying to guard the barrier to stop you from getting out and doing it to your own people. Sans endangers a child, just to stop YOU from using this kid to hurt more people, which is why some people say his theme is the players theme (I don't believe this, because his theme belongs to another certain someone else too rendering this impossible?!).

The only person that believes you're capable of changing your ways is papyrus. His death leads to the rest of the bosses frantically wondering what happened, alphys especially.

Both pap and alphys would be the two people to trust you right off the bat, and since you've broken that trust, they're doing everything they can to stop you where you stand, snowgrave doesn't do this! Nobody really evacuated, Nobody really got away before you decided to start hurting them. Infact, when you initiate this route its already far too late for them to start running.

Route play-out functions

I know ALOT of people have mentioned the dumpster countdown, and spamtons importance to how it functions, but this is what also interests me.

You do not know how many people are left, you have to be told by someone, guided by another monster, to know what you're supposed to be doing. No mercy lays everything out for you, down to the save points giving you exact amounts remaining in each area!

Yes, they are direct copies supposed to mimic the way genocide functions, but the difference is an outer force is guiding you and giving you exact amounts to massacre entire areas of monsters that remain. Snowgrave gives you some puppet that suffered, and is using you and noelle as an outlet to get his revenge.

Youre being messed with WHILST youre manipulating kris's friend. You are just as vulnerable, you needed spamton for your next tool to ice berdly, whereas in genocide the only real roadblock is sans, but even his forces don't stop you if youre good at the game.

The tedious open spaces for snowgrave, the closed off areas that you can just pace around for no mercy!

There is ALWAYS a save point nearby, so you can keep track of your kill streak. Snowgrave makes your journey far worse, once you've started you can't exactly stop. There's hardly save points, your items can only gather from junk you find laying around, and iced corpses will stay there for when you go back to get something.

Both have horrible amounts of work to stop you from marching foward, no mercy has stupidly high amounts of monsters for you to kill, snowgrave has a step-by-step plan for you to initiate it, and the further in you get the more ridiculous it is. Both games literally go "wtf??? You actually did it" each time you initiate the route. Snowgrave has jingles for each time you properly complete a part, no mercy has another person seeing you as a vile human each time you wipe out another area.

Human guidance (kris vs frisk)

Alot of people have spoken about this, but I think there's alot more people fail to mention. Kris is naturally a very quiet kid, but they aren't silent, or emotionless. Infact, they are way more expressive than the game is letting us know! For frisk, however, we only know that they were an outcasted child. YOU decide how frisk reacts to the monsters they've just met, your initial reaction helps them develop theirs, exactly the way a child learns from their parent how to react to someone you've just met.

Some people forget frisk is very young (for this, and MANY, MANY other things too. >:[), so the drastic difference is you're using an impressionable child to do your work, whereas in snowgrave you weaponise some poor teenagers friendships to re-traumatise all of them.

Both react very differently to what you're doing to them. Frisk has no choice but to listen to you, they're a kid, they wouldn't know it any different from an adult guiding them.

They learn from your guidance that these monsters aren't worth the time, if you don't react they won't bother either. You turn them into a cold, careless killer. You teach this child to have the old views of humans, and in the process endanger humanity from it too. Alot of people turn both frisk and chara into the villains, but both of them are young children in a place they don't recognise, they're obviously going to rely on this nagging voice, this soul controlling them to help them get home. What happens during that process is out of their control, this is all on you.

Kris, on the other hand, is very clearly trying to let their friends know they aren't okay. Constant silence, barely any emotions, lashing out to let people know someone else is using their body to do harm on others. (Can't get images, mobile limit is WAY too small lul) you aren't even using kris, perse, you're using noelle. The impact of trapping berdly both hurts noelle and kris, yet kris will hold this guilt as long as you remain a constant force for them, and they hate you for it.

Using kris as a vessel to hurt noelle, and using frisk as a vessel to spread the old views of humans towards monsters. Noelle is more optimistic on things, shes not innocent at ALL despite what people say, but you use her close best friend to hurt her. Kris has to stand and take this all in, let you hurt her and their childhood friendship, because they aren't in control so long that soul keeps them in the backseat. Frisk has to go up to the surface with a warped view on regards to life, and who truly deserves to live.

Your impact on these kids stays with them, despite kris being very emotionally defensive, you still manage to hurt them. You manage to hurt noelle, too, despite not even having physical control over her. You use kris as the gearstick, making them the monster in noelles eyes. Kris constantly kindly tells you to fuck off, whereas frisk can't say or do much, because they haven't matured enough to know.

Other stuff :P

This one is something many people have pointed out, so I don't feel the need to say much more on it, but the way monsters die. Snowgrave is far more darker, you freeze them eternally, and leave them to die in a sealed fountain. Berdlys death is also horrible both in the way it plays out, and the way you torture noelle to get to it. No mercy is more "kill now, think about it later" kind of shtick. They aren't brutal, but it really makes you think on how it's so easy to do it, and then your actions come crawling back when you really are a danger.

Berdly and papyrus, the two people who strongly believed in frisk/kris, are violently dealt with and hurt for doing so. These two have parallels that are more complex, and I don't wanna fill this with MORE text, but you get the idea. You hurt "your" most trusting friends to get your way, and both deaths are a sign that you are now too far in to turn back.

Dialogue changes too, where it goes from chipper to regarding you as a force to not be reckoned with. Alot of people say chara is the narrator for undertale, I do think this too, but this also plays into you manipulating a child to get your way! Chara is already a very troubled kid, being raised in an environment that just wasn't made for them, so obviously they're going to be very upset in death for what you're doing, but they can't stop you aswell, so on and so forth, yadda yadda. You get it :P

Sans, noelle, kris and so on talking directly to YOU. I don't need to really talk about this, you can find alot of people mentioning it already. Everyone knows that you're to blame, not these kids you're forcing to hurt people. Don't need to mention that when it's been said enough XD

Spamton is a different case entirely, kind of based of him to use you to set his own plan into motion (KIDDINF OBVIOUSLY) but he's a different case that would need a different post and oh MAN do I have alot to say about him and his situation.

We've barely touched the surface for deltarune, so some of the stuff here could change! So far, though, this is what I've noticed.

Anyway, that's my thoughts on that . Thank you if you actually read my nonsense I don't really post my thoughts/analysis on stuff publicly :^]

#deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #undertale #long post #images should have some alt text!#rambles

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