#BUT SO DOES THE GUY WHO KILLED HIS WIFE?????

[verosikastrikerexcuser]

Okay. So the new ep. I was so mad about this line from Stolas I can't lie: "I didn't realize you think so low of me"

Oh really? What reasons have you given him to think highly of you Stolas? You:

A) Gave Blitz a choice between his career or having sex with you (Blitz's career also supports his daughter and the other IMP employees, their well being was on the line too). And to boot, this proposition took place while Blitz was in a high pressure scenario being hunted down by a crazy serial murderer human trying to kill him. Which Stolas was aware of and watching. He chose that moment to make his proposition and laud the grimoire over Blitz's head.

B) Constantly make weird fetishy remarks about Blitz's species/race, calling him an impish little plaything and "itty bitty". Also while being weird towards other imps too, using your butler as a stress toy and calling Moxxie, Millie and other random imps "little ones" all the time.

C) After the power imbalance of controlling his business was set up by you, you proceeded to constantly toy with Blitz despite how much he resisted and showed he clearly doesn't like it. You give him an annoying demeaning pet name he didn't ask for with the "Blitzie" shit. You make crude sexual remarks that make him uncomfortable and make them in front of others too, humiliating him in front of both strangers and people he is close to. You grab at his face condescendingly. You idly use him as an ash tray. You treat him with a completely disrespectful degrading demeanor and there is nothing he can do or say about it that will make you stop - in Loo Loo land when Blitz expresses that he does not want you to attempt to solicit sex that day from him you respond "You are so cute when you are serious" like its funny hes mad about that. All of this unwanted sexual attention is to the point Blitz has a panic button for when YOU specifically show up at his office like what else is there to say really.

D) You also treat your daughter like shit. You chase Blitz instead of focusing on her even though shes clearly very mentally ill and struggling. You make weird sexual remarks about Blitz, the guy who you're cheating on your wife with which is causing chaotic familial breakdown in the home Octavia has to live in (and Octavia KNOWS its Blitz specifically that you're cheating with she is very aware). She is clearly constantly uncomfortable and yet you put her through that several times Stolas.

Then you try to do the right thing and free Blitz. Good, great, a step in the right direction. But when hes so unused to you respecting him and thinks you must be lying you have a whiny little breakdown and storm off about it.

BUT NO WONDER BLITZ THOUGHT IT WAS SOME KIND OF FUCKING JOKE AND THEN WAS LIKE WTF YOU STUPID FUCK. Look at everything you've done holy shit! I felt Blitz's "What the fuck" in my soul. What is with this shows attempts since S2 at a weird perversion of the truth. What is with this pathetic poor me I'm just a poor widdle victim! Act from Stolas. Its just so gross its disgusting.

Stolas was born with his wealth. He was born with immense wealth, connections, authority, and physical power. He never has had to comprehend making the kinds of choices Blitz has had to in order to make rent. And Stolas actively exploited Blitz's class. He actively exploited it along with Blitz's obligations to his employees and daughter, those he loves, to get sex out of him. And then when Blitz sees him for what he is he is a self victimizing baby over it. How slimy can you get?

#helluva boss critical #anti stolas #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop critical #stolas hate #stolas critical #critical stuff #God the way that imp smut book screenshot is from a scene where #Stolas is sat at the family dinner table with Octavia right next to him #This dude is such a creep in every way I s2g

[hostilemuppet]

CHARLIE

After a close call with her and Clay’s egg, Viva realises that… she almost made a terrible mistake. She’s been so far gone, so sure that she had to make sure Clay couldn’t leave her, that she didn’t even think that… maybe she just needs to make him not want to? God. She almost killed her own child, because… what? She wanted blackmail material? She’s pathetic. She’s an awful mother, an awful wife, she can’t believe herself.

Viva traces her thumb over the small crack on the egg, it’s not enough to hurt the baby but it’s there and it’s all because of her she did it to them, and she decides that this is it. She’s not going to let it get this bad again. She’s going to pull herself together, she’ll make it up to the kid, she’ll make it up to Clay.

She’ll make it up to herself.

Charlie is a mischievous little scamp, always looking to turn a quick buck. Even if that means roping his cousins (mostly Ha’Penny) into his various get rich quick schemes, which are totally unnecessary since his family’s already rich but you don’t understand! He wants to earn it! It’s like the thrill of the hunt, except the “hunt” is “tricking his similarly rich classmates into purchasing what he claims to be a hair strengthening tonic but is actually tap water mixed with lemon juice and sriracha sauce”. Regardless of the non-product he is advertising, he always manages to sell out, because he is one hell of a showman.

Despite being primarily driven by his need to amass wealth (he is 5 years old, so “wealth” for him is like, 50 trollars), that doesn’t mean he lacks a heart! He cares for his family, and part of the reason he loves money so much is because he always wants to see his parents’ faces brighten up when he brings them a gift, whether it’s something as small as a chocolate bar or something as… concerning, as a piece of very expensive jewellery, which a 5 year old shouldn’t have been able to purchase? Don’t ask. He also gets along really well with his cousins!

Ha’Penny Hatch is, of course, his partner in crime. They also occasionally double as his fall guy if a scheme goes south, but it’s okay because they would NEVER get in trouble; who the hell is going to go after the 4 year old, mute, heir to the throne? Only someone with a death wish, that’s who. Besides, Penny is more than happy to return the favour; Charlie’s crazy antics are often the highlight of their day!

With Angelina, they don’t actually talk that much, but they get on fine! Even if she does not see it as a compliment when he calls her Raggedy Ann, but it’s just a nickname! It’s supposed to be cute! Take a chill pill why dontcha, Ann?

Brad, however… the two have a bit of a rivalry, you could say. Brad always assumes Charlie’s up to no good, which is totally unfair, because Charlie’s only up to no good, like, 45% of the time! That’s the minority, Brad, he thought big kids like you were supposed to know all about percentages. 🙄

(cocreated with @8biteyesight)

#mupp.png #tdaut

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

this film is WILD, i love watching a group of ppl arguing and fighting over who dated whom and who slept with whom before meeting whom and who's been pregnant and who's cheating on her husband with her female yoga instructor or sth idk o_o

they should all just have one big orgy together!! then they wouldn't have to worry about being jealous of each other!!! there, problem solved :D

well, it ends badly, but i think we've ALL learnt something here today: mental illness is shameful, taking medication makes u ~less urself~, and self-harm is the SAME THING as a suicide attempt which is the SAME THING as planning an elaborate prank that facilitates the murder of one friend which is the SAME THING as shooting two of the others.

also apparently each of them is meant to embody one of the ~seven deadly sins~ and they are very bad ppl for being *checks notes* proud of their accomplishments, depressed due to life's circumstances, and unashamed of their sexuality, etc. NOTHING DODGY HERE!!! ALL VERY REPUTABLE POSITIONS TO TAKE. EXTREMELY NORMAL.

.....UNLESS..........wAS IT ALL JUST A DREAM???????? (feck i hope so bc that were a sad sad series of events, just look at the state of them, and all that blood's going to stain those lovely hardwood floors ;A;)

#birb watch #cw mention of self harm #cw mention of suicide #(not to real ppl!! just fictional characters!!! #but i thought i'd mention it anyway and put it under the cut just in case :P) #lol one of their group set it all up as a prank #unfortunately another of their group decided to kill his wife in a jealous rage #i think mr prank master has got some responsibility here #BUT SO DOES THE GUY WHO KILLED HIS WIFE????? #oh dear prank master's gone and shot husband mcwifekiller #and now after an hour of shouting at least we get a half hour of crying #WELL live and learn!! #<- i say this loudly any time something bad happens in a film #in the same voice as crow t robot in that one mst3k short about train murder :D #I AM BEING SARCASTIC ABOUT THE FILM'S LESSON BTW!!!!! #BIRB DOES NOT ENDORSE ANY OF THE IDEAS THE FILM MAY DECLARE OR IMPLY #also i think it was called 'the alpines' but ive already forgotten adn moved on to something else #im not procrastinating on my project and u can't prove anything 👀👀👀

[beeapocalypse]

was about to start a post with 'do you remember the desperate housewives videogame. the husband shouldve been stoned to death. the cop and the mobster as well' and then realized no. nobody remembers the fuckin desperate housewives game are you kidding me

#genuinely some of the most appalling implications ive seen in a story and they are just NOT addressed at all. a cop obsessed with his-- #--high school girlfriend going to the lengths to track her down like twelve years after she left town somehow being the best choice is awfu #i dont even want to put down a basic plot summary for context the husbands actions are so disgusting. the mc has amnesia (bc her-- #--mobster exboyfriend tried to have her killed) and looks incredibly similar to the husbands dead wife. extrapolate from there if u wish #i dont know anything abt the show itself. in my mind it does not exist #the only normal characters in the game are the children+the mcs son and the gay fashion designer neighbor. w the neighbor it is bc he is-- #--neither '''competition''' as the other housewives are nor a '''potential score''' as every other man is. nearly every single-- #--interaction in the game is portrayed that way and it is maddening #i think the therapist mightve been decent ? i cannot remember he just kind of sat there and nodded along but at the very least you-- #--did not have the option to fuck him and he was not a creep #^ guy who is far too invested in a 2006 tv show videogame. sorryyy #a strung out addict with amnesia investigating a mystery. harrier du bois type character LOL

[kakusu-shipping]

🤍 for Mariocest

The Mario bros..... married.....

🤍 - Kiss at the wedding

In which Mario dreams of a future he never thought he'd have

Mario collapsed onto is back in the grass of the castle court yard, knocking the wind out of himself in the motion. Married, he thought. Marriage. The big show of devotion.

He'd put the concept far out of his mind before he really even understood it. He was never going to be the kind of guy to be legally married, because the only one he could fathom to ever love that much was his brother.

But now here he lay, in a Kingdom Far Far away from the rugged, probably valid, laws of Brooklyn, New York State, USA.

Every day Mario was reminded just how different the Mushroom Kingdom, and the entire world it existed within, was from his home. How they perceived Familial Relations wasn't as black and white, related or not, as it was back on Earth.

The way Peach had explained it, everyone is related in the Mushroom Kingdom, in the biological sense, in an unseen connection way. Families, parents and children and siblings, still existed but they were always more of a choice one makes than people one could be stuck with through blood ties. A choice that could be edited, reversed, altered as the relationship changed.

It was all a little too big of a concept for Mario, and the Princess tends to Grandify her explanations, but what it boiled down to was so very simple.

Here, in the Mushroom Kingdom, brothers, sisters, cousins and whoever else, are free to marry. Legal, true marriages.

Mario felt his heart rate pick up speed as it sunk in even further. Marriage. A real wedding with guests happy for them. With food and flowers and gifts and suits and- Mama mia rings.

He could propose. By Stars he could propose, a real proposal, and have it mean something. A real question with a real answer and a ceremony with vows and a big party.

Mario's hands clenched around his overall straps as he kicked his legs into the air a bit, his heart pounding in his chest as he squirmed out his excitement. He needed to calm down.

With a deep breath Mario focused on the clouds floating lazily overhead. White and fluffy and calm, oh so calm. Drifting slowly through the sky.

Mario closed his eyes, his heart rate slowing, the burning in his cheeks dimming. A cloud blocked the sun over head, cooling him down.

He wondered what Luigi would want to wear to their wedding. Mario always believed himself a Tuxedo guy. He'd wear the occasional dress, but it really wasn't his style. Luigi on the other hand...

Oh.. Luigi in a wedding dress...

Mario could see him now. Long and frilly with puffy sleeves and short gloves, standing with a thin veil and a bouquet of those beautiful rocket flowers at the end of an aisle lined with pews full of people who are so, so happy for them.

He walks down the aisle, and Mario stands tall on the staged in his white tux, and he is mesmerized by his brother's beauty, and no one else in the room seems to matter any longer.

They say their vows, they exchange rings. Mario is holding Luigi's hands so tenderly in his own, and he is crying. They're both crying, and this is really happening, and neither of them can look away or think of anything other than how happy they are to be there. Together.

"You may now kiss the bride"

Yeah.. Luigi would like the sound of bride.... Wife...

The cloud overhead moved along with the light breeze, allowing the warm sun to shine down onto Mario as he napped in Peach's court yard.

It wasn't an uncommon sight, to see the Hero of the Mushroom Kingdom asleep in the grass on warm days, so no one dared bother him.

Besides. He looked like he was having a nice dream.

#Mariocest #Emile's Writing #This got.... a touch longer than I thought it would #gkdfjgkfdjkgdfkhd #It's my blog and I'll post what I want to #Shipcest #When your irl buddy DMs you while your writing Mariocest and they don't know you're mental about the Brothers who Kiss #This is exactly the kick in the pants I need a short fic with no dialogue just Mario in his emotions #And a little bit of Toad Lore because I love them and think they're weird #They don't have gender the idea of them having kids like humans do is simply weird and wrong #Biological family Does Not Exist in the Mushroom Kingdom this is my stance #Mario thinks about kissing his brother his love directly on the mouth and takes a lil nap #As he deserves #White fluffy clouds.... White fluffy dress.... Wedding... #Look Mario's never thought about a Wedding but he HAS thought about being the Guy with the Ring down on one knee a LOT #Luigi's probably thought about wedding stuff but never seriously for the same reason as Mario #They... Married........ oh I'm so normal #I wanna go to the Mario Bros Wedding #Luigi WOULD be a Bride and he'd LOVE to be a Wife!!!! #Brief moment of reflect on Mario in a wedding dress tho he really does kill it #This is NOT a kiss fic I am a liar and a cad I'm SO sorry #I continue to not write any actual smooching #please send more requests I need to continue being unnormal

[mariocki]

Annette Andre and her enormous eyes once again cross paths with Simon Templar, as Annette, who works "on the newspaper" in The Saint: To Kill a Saint (5.19, ITC, 1967)

#fave spotting #annette andre #randall and hopkirk (deceased) #randall and hopkirk #the saint #to kill a saint #itc #1967 #jeannie hopkirk #actually Annette had already made 3 prior Saint eps‚ only one of which i gave her a fave spotting for (3.6) #not sure why i didnt with the others. perhaps her eyes were not significantly large and doleful (not to go on about it but she does have #remarkable eyes). here she... works on a newspaper. that's all we find out (is she a journalist? a copy writer? an editor? a type setter?) #and even that might not be true. she starts the episode by firing blanks at Simon in an attempt to enrage him and drive him to murder Peter #Dyneley (himself a repeat offender in Saintland‚ making his third and final appearance here). he killed Annette's father during a bank #robbery... or so she says. weirdly the episode is markedly sympathetic to him‚ presenting him as a basically decent man who loves his wife #and maybe works a little too hard. that his work is apparently bank robbing is never really gone into. actually the whole thing feels like #it needs digging into deeper‚ not least bc the ending kind of implies Annette was in with the bad guy... something Simon apparently doesn't #notice. after she shoots at him he tails her to a derelict building where she evades him laughing. at the end of the episode the real bad #guy (remember Dyneley is weirdly positively represented here) takes Simon to the same derelict building to execute him #'i wondered how this place fit in' says Simon which only seems to suggest that Annette is part of the frame up and working with real #bad guy... but nothing more is said and Simon happily reunites with her once Dyneley has saved his life (weird!!) and the adventure is over #so is she part of the plotting?? does he just not care???? what's going on Saint crew??

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

season 3 finale making me go from "awwww" to "OH NO" very fast

#you see all these happy couples! then it's like 'anyway yeah the girl is robin's dead wife' #poor regina is pissed #which yeah ok understandable. #hoping she won't try to kill emma tho that'd be a bummer #tbh i can see the story arc of robin being back with his wife but more put of old love than current love #and his wife realizes the connection he has with Regina #and while at first she's very against it because that's her guy and that's the evil queen she ends up accepting it #and pushing robin back to regina because she loves him and loving someone sometimes means letting them go #(i was never supposed to be here anyway) #(thank you for letting me say goodbye) #there may be a heroic sacrifice at play who knows #switching subjects but also seeing rumple back pre curse accepting to drink the potion to keep himself from keeping neil from dying i. #yeah got emotional there. belle has been wearing him down a bit already at the time so you can see it happening so yeah. #anyway predictions for next season are: #regina does something dumb #we get some frozen retelling (maybe closer to the og fairy tale?) #rumple giving a fake knife to belle comes back to bite him in the ass #also baby neil will become a new target for bad guys #once upon a time #ouat

[elhokar-kholin]

babygirl i know aesudan lore even sanderson has forgotten about

#ok so aesudans prime counterpart was obviously nanavah but another counterpart of hers (like kaladin had 2 counterparts merin and kalden) #is a guy named intara who was shitty to his wife and cheated on her and then she died and he felt bad about it so he decided #to party so hard that god killed him. like his whole thing was he was trying to be the shittest ruler possible and throw the biggest feasts #literally all the time and was being driven bonkers that god hadnt killed him yet #sound familiar? well maybe not because i doubt most people keep inventory of all aesudan things #but the big parties and shitty rulership and bad relationship with god (the cheating) all those aesudan things. those are from intara #my posts #unmade magnet #i love intara tbh. like maybe he's a bad person in spirit but he tries to be shitty and accidentally does good instead and is like NOOOO

[pyrrhiccomedy]

The last time we were on a long flight, my wife and I invented a game we call "Little Guy."

You start a game of Little Guy by saying, "I'm gonna hand you a little guy." The little guy is some kind of baby animal you are imagining. "Oh," she might say in response, "Okay," and hold out her hands for it. I will then mime handing her the animal. This provides some clues as to the little guy's size, weight, and general ungainliness.

She then gets to ask questions about what kind of little guy this is, BUT NO QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS ACTUAL APPEARANCE OR SPECIES ARE ALLOWED. Qualitative questions, or questions about his behavior, are the only ones permitted. She can ask "Is he soft?" or "Does he seem nervous about being held?" or "If I put him in the bathtub, does he seem okay with that?" or "Would he like a lil grape?" or "Is he the sort of little fellow who would wear a vest in a children's book?" but not "Does he have fur," "Is he a reptile," "Is he from Asia," etc. Some questions are in a grey area so you have to follow your heart, but the point is not to identify the animal as fast as possible: the point is to guess the animal purely based on vibes + how he would act if he were in your living room right now.

And I'm not limited to yes or no answers! If she asks, "Would it feel appropriate to see this little guy in a propeller hat?" I can reply, "Oh no, he has a gravity to him. A bowler hat would be a more appropriate hat." Or if she asks, "Does this little guy have protagonist energy?" I can say something like, "he probably wouldn't be the main character in a children's cartoon. He'd probably be the main character's ditzy best friend who's always eating sandwiches, or something."

We're big Twenty Questions to kill time in a waiting room people, but Little Guy is more about the journey than the destination. It's got a different kind of sauce that's nice if "killing time" and "lowering anxiety" need to happen hand in hand.

[sheyshen]

vincent immediately bonding with einar upon meeting him during the trip from ala mhigo to garlemald in EW and one of the first things he does is shows off his leg to him and steph because he's certain they'll get a kick out of a magitek prosthetic.

#i feel he'd also end up outting himself as being a wol at this point #like gaius knows he told him at one point or another. but otherwise he hasn't really talked about it with anyone #it's one of those things that he's both glad and upset that nobody remembers him because it was a bad time of his life #but also man he hates that he did so much any nobody recognizes him lol #i like to think thancred remembers at some point and cid. and there's a garlean soldier who i still have to name that does #but that's about it #the soldier is a friend. vincent saved his life by pulling him from a ruined mec and then the guy saved vincent's when his leg got blown of #yea i need to give the dude a name lol #he's a chill guy. bit freaked out when vincent saved him. lashed out and was the one who gave V that scar on his face #but once he realized he wasn't about to be killed he was fine. ended up risking his life to drag vincent back to the alliance for help #i mean he booked it back to his regiment because he wasn't defecting just helping someone who helped him #plus he had a wife and daughter back home and he wanted to go back to them #him and vincent reunite in garlemald during EW and he gets to meet his family #i should write about that sometime lol #man like all my little fics have been about him so far. i really should work on the one of raya soon before i write another vincent oneshot

[plantdad-dante]

Book #145 - Der Schimmelreiter by Theodor Storm

[english title: The Rider On The White Horse] (a PSA to all (future) teachers: this is not a good book for 8th graders. this is not the first classic that any kid should read. there are better ways to explain what a framing narrative is, please.)

A thing that I have realized over the last few months (possibly starting with something I wrote about Hold Me Closer, funnily enough) and which has definitely festered into full-on brain damage since then...

I love reading. I love books. I love stories. (Yes, I know, duh, but hear me out.)

Up until now, these things were true, yes, but in a more limited way. I loved reading good books. I loved reading stories that I liked, that I related to, that made me feel warm and fuzzy and good (or that completely devastated me emotionally, which is equally valid). And I liked it enough to not have it soured by books I ended up not liking. I liked the quiet of reading, I liked that I didn't need electronics to do it, I liked that it didn't chain me to a sofa for a minimum and maximum of two hours. In short, I liked the convenience, the ubiquity and the comfort of books that lit up my brain.

Unfortunately, it has kind of come to pass that that is now... uh. Every Book. Like, I still have opinions and biases and and personal taste, but now I love reading whether or not I like the book I'm reading right now. I have fallen in love with the thing itself, and I refuse to climb back out of this hole.

Btw, wanna know how I know all that? The Rider On The White Horse is boring as shit! Or it should be, if I were still sane. Because this book is mainly just about a weird dude who becomes this official (dikeduke??) and builds a family and a dyke. And a lot of pages are spent on this dude doing his official business, planning and drawing schemes for his dyke and getting permits and having local spats with his neighbors.

Like, the most interesting thing here by far is the framing narrative through which we know that this dude will somehow end up being a ghost story to scare grown men in a pub near the dyke half a century later. And it is spooky and atmospheric, yes, but remember that, in between that, the narrator insists on telling us in detail about the process of building a dyke, and about planning meetings, and about every spat he has with this one dude who hates him for no reason, and ugh. And still, I ate it up.

Half the book, before they get married, he has this sorta cute romance with his future wife, and it is mainly just them talking and having similar interests and holding hands and she is teasing him but also standing up for him, and she helps him into that official position for which they are both intellectually qualified (but, well, 1888. but hey, she can do math and doesn't get ridiculed for it, so yaaay). And she is wicked smart and them doing this shy little dance around each other is actually really sweet and the first time my brain mentioned that to me I kinda just  had to stare at a wall for a while because what

Do you see my point? I am gushing. About a book. That is a 100 page snore fest. And this was just a taste, I could go on for at least twice as long again.

(help me)

#der schimmelreiter #theodor storm #the rider on the white horse #ok shit I didn't mention: #he basically adopts a feral horse that trauma bonds to him and him alone #he saves a dog from the village when they want to bury it alive in the dyke bc of superstition (the dyke needs 'something alive' to stay up #also him being smart and saving the dog and adopting a spooky ghost horse and being a liiittle blasphemous sometimes #obviously means he's the devil right #so everyone starts hating him and he starts hating everyone in return except his family #but like he still tries and he helps that old woman and tries to listen to criticism #and really - apart from a bit of pride and anger issues - he's not that horrible tbh #he's a surprisingly good husband and an absolutely amazing dad to his mentally disabled daughter #seriously. + he never once laments her disability even when his wife does + even gives her a peptalk like 'just love her as she is' like #they both love her so much. I mean they should bc that's their kid and also Wienke is sunshine personified and absolutely adorable #but still considering the times this is shockingly good parenting #like how did I only ever remember him as the guy who kills a cat?? #oh right bc my 8th grade German teacher threw a book from 1888 at us and expected us 14 year old dipshits to just read and fully understand #it without any help or guidance #i heart the german school system (sarcasm)

[gremlingottoosilly]

Readed with shitty parents getting into an arranged marriage to Pushover!König

It's like two puppies being set up for breeding. Konig is a colonel, at his young - considerably, he is still in his thirties - age, and a complete and total pushover everywhere except the military. No wife, no girlfriend, not even a pet - maybe your parents took pity on a family friend, looking at how lonely he was with all his wealth sitting in some bank account while he was barely home to spend even a quarter of it. Maybe, your parents just knew some of his weirder tendencies and wanted to push you away into the lion's den - you don't know. Clutching the shitty flower boquet in your hands - not even a proper wedding one, all the preparations were over in a few days before the wedding itself - you don't know if getting out of your parent's house is a mercy or cruelty. Maybe, it's both. Konig wouldn't even kiss you on your wedding - and he seems pissed off through the whole ceremony, this marriage being set up to a failure from the start. You trembled, not sure how to even start talking to your husband - you barely knew who the fuck is he. Barely wanted to know, really. He is, however, soft. In bedroom, although he didn't even ask if you want to start with your marital duties so early, he still brought you to bed. Tried to be gentle as he unwrapped the cheap wedding dress and asked if you want him to be over as soon as possible or if you want something soft. Sweet. You didn't want the pain - so you curled down on the bed, letting him cover your body in kisses and all of his roughness slowly slipping away as you trembled under him. He is weirdly soft for a man of his status, weirdly gentle for a guy who kills people for a living. He put a pillow under your hips so it would be easier for you to take him all in. He is a softie for you - if you ask him to do something, he will do it, even if that means spending the whole day outside of the house, working on a pool because you wanted to swim during summer and didn't want to drive to the nearest lake. If your happiness means him cuddling with you for hours because you're touch starved and want connection, he will let you cling to him like a coala as he does the chores around the house. Konig is trying his best to be a good husband whenever he is at home - and he'd be damned if he won't let his wife have the best possible life.

#cod #konig x reader #konig #yandere konig #cod x reader #yandere cod

[krowbby]

Ankh-Morpork Dashboard Simulator

happy 40th anniversary everyone 🥳🥳

🌅peach-bi-street

who’s that watchman who’s kinda skrunkly

🐀↺riverrat Follow

helen. 

HELEN. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NOBBY NOBBS.

🌅↺peach-bi-street

oh yeah

#are you gonna look at me and tell me that im WRONG?

24 notes

🪙official-c.m.o.t.☑️☑️Sponsored with Blaze

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590 notes

🚹humantwitter Follow

4,981 notes

💌postal-service-top Follow

saw the postmaster today in his stupid gold suit. hes so hot

🌚↺lesbianbaker

i don’t get why people say this he’s the most average looking guy ever. his WIFE however

#you know that post that’s like ur at a lesbian bar and a hot older woman is smoking #and ur like. ‘can yuo put that out on me’ #yeah

120 notes

🥁evenmoremendeddrum Follow

do you guys think the patrician has a secret blog

🛤️↺makeyefret Follow

No, but I bet his secretary is on studyblr

🐶↺wufflesgirl Follow

are you kidding me the patrician is definitely on tumblr. brb committing treason so i can compliment his shoelaces

🥁↺evenmoremendeddrum Follow

peer-reviewed tags

#lord vetinari if ur reading this is legally a joke #wear an owl pin if ur one of us

🏚️↺ankhmorporkheritageposts Follow

Ankh-Morpork Heritage Post

1,074,228 notes

trainhoe-deactivated19890205

hot take but i kind of think the guild of assassins and thieves are problematic. like one of them you could ruin someone’s life and the other one you’re literally KILLING people. i know rich people are delusional but i can’t believe they literally think the best school for their kids is murder college.

🐲essential-dragons Follow

assassins got them

20,391 notes

#discworld #terry pratchett #i have no idea if this is funny but i've spent too long on it already so here #feel free to steal any ideas if you wanna make your own one LOL #havelock vetinari #nobby nobbs #moist von lipwig #adora belle dearheart

[a-hazbin-reader]

How do you think Alastor would react to being called cute, hot etc.along those lines

Like how would it make him feel? Pre-Wifey. Like it’s Wifey, but she ain’t wifey yet lol

Wifey rizzing up her man??? 👀

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Alastor being TORTURED, Reader has that WIFE energy, Alastor thinks about killing someone

Description: ☝️⬆️

Alastor was a confident man who prided himself on not being taken unawares by anything or anyone

The keyword is was

But meeting you and getting to know you has completely caught him off guard because he's FALLING for you

He knew you were a dangerous woman, but he didn't realize just what sort of danger he was in

In danger of losing his HEART~

He couldn't help it, you were beautiful and witty along with a number of other fantastic qualities/talents

And when you smiled at him it made him freeze in his tracks, even the simplest eye contact made him feel flushed

But then you opened your mouth and actually spoke to him which made things so much more difficult

"You look good today, Alastor~ Did you do something different? Very debonair~"

He wonders if you're torturing him like this on purpose, if you know how he feels about you

But he does his best to remain unfazed, or at least not let you see how your words affect him

"I can't say I've done anything new, but I appreciate that someone around here notices my good looks~"

Your soft laugh makes his heart skip a beat, and he almost blushes when your fingers play with the ends of his hair

"I always notice you, Alastor."

He's at least able to wait until you leave the room to suddenly collapse on a table, steam coming out of his ears as he clutches at his chest

He would be insanely jealous if you acted this way with anyone else but you seem to reserve it all for him, something he's secretly grateful for

Even when you're drunk, you always seem to find a way to make him fluster

Alastor finds you at the bar, cheeks pink from the alcohol in your system, talking to the bartender about something

Or someone

"-he's just so handsome..! I can't get over it-"

Alastor takes a seat next to you, cutting off some random guy from taking the seat in hopes of getting an easy mark out of you

"Who's handsome now?"

He's totally not asking because he's jealous, or trying to figure out who he's going to hunt down and ki-

You hiccup and give him a drunken smile, leaning in to get in his face, which immediately makes his heart race

"You are~ Hand...some~"

Alastor can feel the heat rushing up to his face as you poke his nose before clumsily leaning back to get your drink

Okay, you've definitely had enough to drink

"I think you've had enough for tonight, let's get you home, my dear."

You whine and pout as he drags you out of the bar, only complying when he wraps an arm around your waist to keep you steady

He hopes that you're too drunk to remember the way he blushes the entire way home with you, holding you tight

It doesn't help that you're so snuggly when you're drunk, nuzzling your head under his chin

He almost explodes when he manages to pry you off of him and lay you down on your bed only for you to stare at him with glassy eyes

"Mm...that's hot...you're so hot~"

He rubs his hand over his face in an effort to hide the embarrassing choked sound that escapes him

"Please... just go to sleep..."

He's less sure that you're messing with him when you say things like that while drunk out of your mind

Your worst attacks are the sneak attacks that come out of nowhere for him, making it painfully obvious how much he feels for you

He's eating when you suddenly come in, rolling your eyes as you sit next to him, listening to all the little noises he makes as he eats

He can't help it, the food is delicious~

You suddenly grab a napkin and dab the corner of his mouth, giving him a small smile

"You're cute, you know that?"

He almost chokes on his food, your words along with the physical touch making his mind go blank

"C-cute!?"

Fuck, his voice cracked, making him blush uncontrollably as you obviously try not to laugh at him

"Ahem! Cute is not a proper word to describe me, I am many things, but cute isn't one of them..!"

You take his plate away from him, helping yourself to his meal as he rants about how he's not cute

"Say what you will, but I think you're a very cute man~"

He just groans and lays his head on the table, openly blushing now as he watches you eat

"I'm not... cute..."

You just laugh at him and it makes his heart beat a little faster despite his visible pouting

You're an evil woman who's torturing him for falling for you, trying to make him confess so you can tease him about it

He's sure of it...but it doesn't diminish his growing feelings for you any less

This one was so fun 😭

#hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin x reader

[radiance1]

Tim traced Bruce's family tree, and that led him down a path where he finds out that apparently his ancestors, the fentonightingales, split off into the Wayne family and the Fenton family and decides to trace down the Fenton family history to see if Bruce had any unknown relatives.

He finds Jack Fenton, his wife, Madeline Fenton, their daughter, Jasmine Fenton, their son, Daniel Fenton, and their second daughter and youngest child, Danielle Fenton.

Then he digs a bit through their social media, finds out that reclusive billionaire and CEO of a morally questionable company, Vlad Masters, is the godfather of the three children. Unfortunately, for some reason it's been hard to find information about Vlad Masters that isn't involving his company or publicity stunts, anything past that and it's only bits and pieces of information.

The biggest piece in his past is that he was trapped in a hospital due to an unknown illness that left him bedridden, and then making an miraculous recovery one day, then going to found Vladco and become a business empire.

He thinks the only reason that tidbit of information was so easy to find was that it tied into his business as some type of origin story.

Tim does a bit more digging and, yet to inform anyone else of his discovery, finds a video titled:

"Pranking my godfather after he stopped trying to get with my mom and kill my dad!"

Which, was a concerning title really, then he found the godfather in question to be Vlad Masters, and the one who recorded said video was Daniel Fenton.

Curious.

He did some more digging.

He didn't really get very far, for some odd reason there isn't a lot of information to scrap together past the surface of Amity Park. Stuff like their museum, being a tourist attraction, it's history, normal stuff like that.

Nothing about the day to day lives of its citizens, nor any videos posted by said citizens or anything of the like.

He did come across some papers posted by the Fentons, however. Some research abouts ghosts, their behaviors and all that.

What he found wasn't pleasant, and he was thinking about telling Bruce before he came across another page.

The Fenton page.

It was, very, very clean of research papers of any kind having to deal with ghosts as a species, and while they are mentioned it's mostly in reference to take about one of their many weapons, or an installation to equip to your home as a safety precaution.

Then he went back to the page where their 'research' is placed, did some digging, and found it to be published by some kind of organization called the Guys In White, or GIW for short. Weird name, but he's seen weirder.

Although, this does cause some concern for him.

Tim, still not telling anyone of the information he's found besides Alfred (You can hide NOTHING from that man), decides to go over to Amity Park to check out the Fenton family firsthand, gather information about these ghosts to decide if magic is involved or not, and find out why the GIW are using the Fentons' name to publish their papers.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Vlad is redeemed here #But he's still kinda an ass #That sassy godfather who spills some tea and buys you what you want if you nag him enough #He's also not inlove with Maddie anymore #. #Saying that REALLY makes me want to include him being a massive simp over Constantine now. #But I shall withhold that urge for now

[formulafics]

★ BABY, JUST SAY YES | LS2

Scenario: its no secret that logan sargent isn’t single, but one thing that no one can quite figure out - not even his co workers - is who the mystery girl is. logan doesn’t reveal who until she’s no longer his girlfriend, but his wife. (requested)

Pairing: logan sargeant x fem!popstar!reader

A/N: it’s taken me 4 days of writers block to get this one figured out, but she is finally here! i hope everyone enjoys! <3

logansargeant

liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri, and 233,567 others

logansargeant the flight is always worth it to be with her

view all 2,345 comments

sargeantformula another day, another soft launch from logan 😔 when does the pain end?

logansgirl HE LOOKS SO GOOD

formulogan so either logan plays guitar or his gf plays guitar 🧐

⤷ norizzlando i thought that i could figure out something by looking at the music sheets but it’s beatles songs, and i doubt logan is dating paul mccartney

⤷ alexalbonooo23 STOP IT FHIS COMMENT IS KILLING ME 😭 “i doubt logan is dating paul mccartney”

logansargeant

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, maxverstappen1, and 356,789 others

logansargeant summer dump

view all 3,457 comments

alex_albon getting a little to close to using @/georgerussels tactics

rizzciardo logan pls just tell us who it is 😔 do it for your fans

⤷ norrisnation DO IT FOR AMERICA

formulaobssesed why is logan kinda…

⤷ sargeantformula YOURE JUST LEARNING THIS? HES BEEN FINE

sargeantnation THE FIRST PICTURE HELLO YOU LOOK SO GOOD

ls2sargeant okay, but WHO is in the second picture? 😭

logansargeant

in love

liked by alex_albon, lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 124,678 others

logansargeant

view all 2,467 comments

formulanorris the location being “in love” is sickening

⤷ piastrizz no literally i want want what him and his gf have

williamillion ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE LOGAN

godblessls2 boy if you don’t just drop her @ rn

loscargirlie logan you wanna drop her @ sooooo bad rn

logansargeant and ynlnsargeant

liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 467,892 others

logansargeant so glad my baby said yes. happy one year, my beautiful girl.

view all 5,678 comments

ynsworld LOGAN IN RHE MIDDLE OF YNA FUCK I G CONCERT???

oscarpiastri happy anniversary ❤️

⤷ rizzciardo loscar crumbs 🥹 i love them

alex_albon happy anniversary! love you guys.

formulasargeant LOGAN WHAT????

piastrizz LOGAN HUNTER SARGEANT I SWEAR TO GOD

ynfannacc the caption. not okay, young man.

⤷ godblessls2 LMAOO THIS COMMENT IS SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON

rizzciardo the mesh of logan and yn fans in the comments is so funny to me 😭

loscargirlie I KNOW I BEGGED YOU MULTIPLE TIMES TO DROP THE @ BUT COME ON LOGAN

ynlnsargeant

liked by logansargeant, lewishamilton, alex_albon, landonorris, and 789,367 others

ynlnsargeant what a night. thank you to everyone who came out tonight, i am so grateful for your support. on a side note, happy anniversary to my love, @/logansargeant. one year down, forever to go. 🫶🏻

view all 6,789 comments

logansargeant i love you so much baby.

⤷ ynlnsargeant i love you more. thanks for coming out tonight ❤️

ynsguitar the end of an era - she changed her username

⤷ ynloverforlife ITS SO CUTE 😭 she and logan are actually so cute together i can’t even be sad

ynsworld simultaneously extremely happy for you and feeling like my heart has been ripped out. ilysm </3

ynsnumberone i cannot believe i witnessed this kiss in real time

⤷ formulasargeant i have no idea how you survived because me personally? that would be the end

danielricciardo NO WAY. happy anniversary!

⤷ rizzciardo DANIEL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE LMAO

⤷ sargeantformula apparently only oscar, lando, and alex knew about their relationship. oscar was the only one who went to the wedding 💔 (not to mention daniel has always liked yn’s music)

all feedback is appreciated! thank you for reading <3 - daelynn

general taglist | @renarots (special shoutout to her for always fueling the brainrot for these fics) @jsjcue @treehouse-mouse @harrysdimple05 @illicitverstappen @lovstappen @minkyungseokie

#formula one #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 smau #f1 drabble #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #formula one fanfiction #f1 fic #f1 x female reader #formula one social media au #formula one smau #formula one x you #formula one fluff #formula one x reader #formula one fic #formula one racing #formula one x y/n #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant #logan sargeant x you #logan sargeant fanfiction #logan sargeant fluff