#Energy limiting illness

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without- #distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just- #super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff #i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i- #read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :( #SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!! #but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little- #break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think #ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for- #designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much... #WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to #umm. tags. #new life smp #smallishbeans #mythical sausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #inthelittlewood #my art #sketch

[buddiesmutslut]

I’m being so ffr rn, if the show runners definitively show that Buddie is not going to happen?

I’m probably not going to be watching anymore.

I mean it when I say that they’re literally the sole reason I watched this show in the first place. I saw a billion TikTok edits of them & was like “Idek these characters I need to watch this show and see what’s going on over there.”

And like, it’s a fun show, I’m not saying it isn’t, but first responder shows are a dime a dozen. There are other shows that have queer characters and found family and wild adventures. Granted, they don’t have Buck & his bi arc, but I’d still read fanfics to get my Evan Buckley fix lol.

I don’t need them right now, I’m so down for the slow burn, will-they-won’t-they & the pining & the yearning & the build up and the GOOD foundation. I want to see Eddie figuring himself out and dealing with his repression and figuring out he’s queer (& Demi, pls God. I hope if I just say it enough, I can will it into existence somehow) before anything happens with the two of them, but if they take definitive steps to have one of them like, marry someone else or something, I think I’m gonna head out. Find me on ao3 for the rest of my days lol.

#911 abc #buddie #demisexual eddie diaz #also pls don’t come at me with “you don’t care about bi representation”. he’s already bi #he’s always been bi & I’ve loved watching him on this journey #but his & Eddie’s relationship is literally the only reason I started this show in the first place #and again if they find good LI’s & bring them more into focus #the time spent on the Buddie relationship will decrease. that’s just how tv & time limits work #and if my favorite relationship on the show goes away then why would I continue watching it religiously? #also I know I’m a bitch & would therefore hate any person they brought in to be the HEA for them & that’s not fun for anyone #not that I would bully the actor/actress bc im not an ASSHOLE #eddie diaz #evan buckley #I literally watched Booth & Bones take like 9 seasons to get together I am IN IT with a slow burn #unless they do what they did last season & shoehorn 2 LI’s in at the last second on the last episode then I guess I wouldn’t have a choice #Tim would’ve pulled a fast one on me #also I will watch literally anything else Oliver Stark is in SNOOKUMS I love you so much. come home the kids miss you 😂 #& probably Lou also bc he’s so freaking cute irl I wanna die #with his curly hair and his silly faces and his muscles and his wanting to be held in the dark #LOU BABY ILL HOLD YOU IF THE POWER GOES OUT #I have spent too much of my life & time & energy to get 0 payout and it’s honestly unsustainable but that’s a whole different problem

[stormlit]

lads gonna be honest, not having a great time health-wise atm and my brain is fully soup. replies are gonna continue being slow and led by whim alone laksjldhf (mutuals can come ask for my d*sco tho i'm also lurking there)

#i have Something New Going On but in true chronic illness sufferer experience they're taking MONTHS to find out what's causing it #such is life alksjdhf i'm used to it but man #i have extremely limited energy and horrific fatigue to BEGIN with could i maybe not have everything worsen pls #ANYWAY I'M LURKIN'

[katebeckets]

help

#I hate the limited time shit. like the library thing? #I am not very emotionally regulated rn because mental illness + grief #so I am melting down over feeling like I don’t want to regret not going #but I am barely hanging on #I literally work such long days today-Thursday #and idk if I have the energy to drive to the grove and then deal with the crowd that I know will be there #like I know this should only cause joy but I don’t know what to do #plus I’m overall in a weird space about this so I just #idk I HATE the fomo of it all because that’s what I’m feeling #but every day after work I just want to come home and cry #idk if I can manage making an extra stop #but I’m scared I’ll regret #help I am spiraling so bad

[junk-culture]

"do i want to do art as a career or a hobby" life's most difficult question that plagues me every second of every day to be Honest

#i feel like part of the reason i went oh ill keep it as a hobby is because i didn't feel like i was Good enough to do it professionally. but #i will only become Good enough if i actually put the time and energy into learning anatomy and everything else and treating it as a full #time programme of study. #which is difficult alongside my accounting degree that i don't fully care about.ohwell #to be honest i will literally have the whole summer to draw so i guess it's fine tbh #i might get really serious and try to follow a vague plan/schedule of devoting x hours a week to anatomy and stuff #i just hate how limited i am right now like i know my art isnt bad but im so lacking in so many areas #well who give a shit...i got plany of time. #i think i will stick out this degree and then consider where to go from there... #i think i do feel too unready for a “career” of any kind so even if i COULD enjoy doing art as a job e.g. comics or children's books i thin #it would probably be better all round to slowly work my way towards it in many years time

[strixhaven]

it sucks that you can only have one interest at a time. unfortuantely that’s just how it is for everyone on earth. as you well know.

#my brain space is taken up predominantly by my own ocs and stories to the point where my interest and attention span for most other things #is. limited to say the least. not hyperfixation given the ways in which i’ve seen and heard people discuss that #but a natural consequence of depression and being so low-energy lol. but still. i get a degree of mentally ill about it

[ofpd]

fun fact about me is when i was 13 i was extremely miserable and i vomited like every few months like i'd just have these likely psychosomatic illnesses so often and i haven't ever done that since then

#well once the first time i got drunk and didn't know my limits but not besides that #txt #emeto cw #honestly i'd say i had emetophobia when i was 13. but it was bc it was so often a founded fear #but the emetophobia definitely made the actual illness worse #thinking about this bc the energy drink i had today made me wanna vom. i tried to but there were no contents in my stomach #which itself was definitely contributing to the nausea of course

[fred-the-dinosaur-draws]

Meanwhile

Not dinosaurs but I recently took part in the k/s spring fling and this is one of my favourite things I’ve ever drawn, so here is a brief fan art intermission.

It’s that scene from the motion picture where Spock comes back. Except if Kirk and Spock were more like Morticia and Gomez. Bones is there too.

#star trek tmp #star trek tos #my art #addams family #k/s spring fever #spock #kirk #bones #this is where my limited drawing energies have been going lately #excuse the wonky signature #these are hand drawn and scanned for an anonymous exchange #so i added the signature later #using my trackpad #bc i didnt want to find my tablet #dunno how well this will work on mobile #ill try and add the ao3 link #this gets rougher the longer I look at it but boy do i love it anyway

[ayyponine]

(oh victory. stern talking to frm boss on diminished performance at work prompts local woman to finally book drs appointment and figure out wtf wrong w her <3)

#if only so i can hold up a paper and go please dont fire me. im only lacking the energy bc i havent properly digested food in about 2 months #i thought it was the stress of my abuser staying w my terminally ill mother or the increased work load you guys have been putting on me #but im STARTING to think it might be IBS a food allergy long term lack of nutrients OR. i mean cancer does run in one side of the family so #:'') ive been putting it off bc im scared to find out but. more scared of having to go back to unemployment not w my fucking rent babes #or would a serious diagnosis only INCREASE my odds of being let go bc they cant afford fr my state to worsen and need someone reliable?? aaa #not me hoping i get diagnosed: Deadly Disease Likely To Kill Me In Under A Year so i neednt worry abt anything beyond that limited time span #knowing full well it's wayy more likely to be like. make some minor changes to general life style and youll be fucking fine syndrome. anyway #whats up good morning i otherwise had a great weekend at the bbq and the free music festival. and i do have therapy later tonite

[himbopunk]

im thinking of making a patreon idk

#i think ill do like...monthly stickers or smth #in addition to like having wips and early access to commission openings or adopts or new chokers idk #hmmm #daze.txt #might also just make a discord group #tho id need someone to help moderate it bc im very like #ittermittently online?? #intermittently #yea #ughhhhh i dunno. i wanna help encourage engagement but i struggle so much w this kinda stuff #my social energy is like #extremely limited <:/

[crowempress]

I'm getting a test done to 100% confirm if I have celiacs or not next week (me and my doctor are already pretty sure from symptoms and my bloodwork) and as much as it would suck to have it I'm hoping it's an explanation and easy solution to all my fatigue issues

#LIKE any autoimmune disorder is gonna SUCK #but celiacs at least has a pretty straight forward trigger to avoid #my intensines attacking itself like Get that shit OUTTA here #but yeah apparently a aide effect is really severe fatigue so if thats the answer im like... please... energy soon?? #i am rlly upset abt it bc ill be losing a lot of loved foods and also like. #you cannot have any contamination like even CRUMBS are enough to trigger #so now ill have to be so careful accepting food from other people and eating out and it limits eating when travelling and :(( #also like. ppl reallly dont get it. so many ppl dont take my mom seriously #or think its like a diet thing #like no my body attacks itself and can develop other autoimmune things if im not highly careful #anyways. idk if i have it for sure yet but my mum has it and it can be genetic and my bloodwork is positive and i have symptoms so 😔

[pikslasrce]

girls will reach self actualization and get so scared by it theyll believe something terrible must be in store for them

#things are going too well somethings gotta give im serious i feel both amazing bc i have all this confidence and energy and will to live #and i understand myself and my limits but i also keep pushing them to further establish how far i can go #but at the same time i feel like a big grey cloud is just around the corner like i can feel it coming from the horizon #you know like those images where the sky is grey but the entire scene is brightly lit thats how i feel rn im just waiting for the storm #this is mentally ill behaviour im very aware of that its just that i feel so good and im afraid that that feeling will end #that the high will wear off that ill fall back into my old habits or even worse that some unforeseen outside circumstance will ruin me #piksla.txt

[crunchycrystals]

oh no i have to think about who im watching this season.......

#crunchyposts #slsmp #i really dont have the energy to watch too many so ill prob just stick with my constants #grian lizzie pearl and joel #id love to watch mumbo too since i watched him for last life but idk if ill be able to #i actually havent finished limited life lol i was not feeling that season i was in a massive mental illness thing then

[shenzuns]

Gonna b going on a sb spree soon just bc I'm not vibing w/ my space rn

#out. #tbd. #Soon #also ill be honest im very hit or miss w/ writing rn and #i want mutuals that r actually interested w/ engaging and talking to me like a Person #instead of what i post lawl #my energy is limited so! #also tbh most of my focus is gonna be on a sideblog i have #but yah. literally only here for friends nothing else SJFZJBFXHV

[viksalos]

sighing and eyeing tickets to the nearest xiu xiu show which is two hours’ drive away and also the week after three other shows i wanna see and the week before perpetual flame and oh my god i will be so tired

#april is going to be insane for local industrial fans #i really really do not want to get sick before perpetual flame either so im gonna be masking up at all these shows obvs #but those concerns aside i just have a limited amount of energy lmao #and like ik i dont HAVE to go but a lot of the april shows are artists i really love a lot and they just keep announcing shows!! #so like ill commit to a couple and then three more interesting ones are announced the next week lol #text

[halinski]

.

#when my parents ask smth its not a question its a a request/order #when they start arguing i start dancing or start annoying my sister until she laughs completely ignoring the tense situation #im so well adapted #just some observations thhis wonderful saturday where i was roped into helping them bc they refuaed to pay to set up smtb for the backyard #And my lunga are literally burning as i am trying to breathe but we push through #no im not sick im just exhausted and have no energy and im pushing pastt mmy limiteds and im mentally ill and traumatizrd whoop #ignorenme