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btsxmalereaders · 3 years

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☆ Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you!

♡ pairing — bang chan x male reader

> genre — fluff | f2l

> word count — 4.3k I don't know how this happened

> summary — chan realises he likes you by not being able to use pickup lines on you

> a/n — i saw a tiktok where chan says he's gonna use a pickup line on felix and my love-deprived self ended up writing this lol i hope you all like it

| 05282021

| Please keep making more whosfan accounts and keep streaming WOLFGANG on the correct platforms!

"Hey, how you doin'?" Chan casually says as he enters the kitchen, trying not to grin and start giggling right away. He even places his hands over the table and tilts his head a little in an attempt to look confident. Felix takes his attention away from the food he is cooking and turns on his feet to look at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Good?" He answers with an air of suspicion. "Why?"

Chan finally lets out a small giggle, "Oh nothing, I was just thinking that... I am not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together."

And Felix thinks it's a creative pickup line, funny even, but what ends up making him laugh is the way his best friend bends over to start laughing louder and the way his cheeks turn reddish at the embarrassment he's probably feeling.

"That was a good one, I must say," He chuckles. "Not as great as the Optimus Fine one, though. Even if it made you laugh for ten minutes after you said it."

And Chan can only laugh harder at the remembrance, placing his hands over his slightly aching abdomen and gasp for air when he can't handle it anymore. Felix giggles as well and denies with his head, going back to stir what's on the pot.

"Stays keep getting creative when it comes to flirting with you," He speaks again as the laughter finally dies down. "They probably think you might use it on someone you like, and you're here almost crying because you use them on us."

Chan hums, "Well, I don't really like anyone right now."

Felix turns off the stove and makes a -dramatic- pause, turning again to face Chan as he gets closer and squints his eyes. "I don't believe it."

"What?" Chan laughs. "Why would I lie?"

"I don't know, but I don't buy it. Maybe it's the love songs you have as drafts in your laptop."

"Ah, that doesn't mean I'm in love," He explains and takes a seat in front of him, nervously scratching the back of his neck. "That's why they're still drafts, though. They don't convey the feeling of being in love because I am not in love, you know?"

"Good point, but it still doesn't convince me."

"Why?" He asks again with a chuckle, a little embarrassed by the sudden interest in his - nonexistent - love life. "You know our activities barely give us time for ourselves, so it's almost impossible to have a relationship with someone. At least a formal one."

"You can still like someone and not be with them." Felix shrugs. "So spill it. Who is it?"

And Chan knows he's just messing around with him, but he can't help but feel flustered. "No one! I think so." He almost says it in a whisper; however, Felix doesn't comment on it.

"I still want to listen to those drafts," He stands up and smiles. "Why don't you show me?"

This was not the way Chan expected the conversation to go, so he hesitates a bit about his friend's request. Well, it wasn't unusual anyway, at least Changbin had heard a couple and also helped in the composition of the songs, so having someone else hear them wouldn't hurt. He might even listen to ideas on his part to improve them.

"Okay, I can do that. Next week Y/N will come to the studio and work on something, why don't you pop-up at some point and I can show you?"

Felix nods, "Sounds good! Y/N asked for help for his new album?"

"Yeah, he wants me to listen to some tracks he has been working on." He casually comments, taking his phone from his pocket and leading his attention to the device, so now Felix can't see the slight blush on his cheeks.

"Hm, I haven't seen him in a while. Why hasn't he come to the dorm lately? We should invite him."

"He has been busy with his album, that's why. If you think I leave late from the studio, that's nothing compared to him, he truly spends an ungodly amount of time there."

"So you see him often?" Felix asks with sudden interest, now being aware of how Chan's ears are tinted pink.

"You could say that, yeah. He also spends time on my studio whenever he has the chance. And vice-versa." He shrugs, not finding it odd. You two were really good friends, so it was a normal thing for you to do. "Why?"

"Nothing, I was just curious." He mischievously laughs. "So, next week, you said?"

After a quick glance at the time on your phone, you decide to stand up and stretch your body. It's been a long time since you started working, and you still have a lot to do; and on top of it all, the progress you've made tonight doesn't totally convince you, and that just meant you'd be spending more time in the studio.

As you take your phone again to read your notes, a notification pops up on the top. You weren't supposed to meet up with Chan until later, but in the new message you just received, he tells you that he's free from working on his stuff and you could go earlier if you wanted.

You decide to go; after all, it was nearly impossible for you to concentrate again, and you truly needed to know what does he think about the tracks you sent him a few days ago to finally make an advance. So you grab your laptop after making sure you've saved the changes and the cup of half-drunk coffee, walking out to the long hall and taking the elevator to an upper floor.

The soles of your shoes are dragged across the floor all the way to the studio's door, where you softly knock a couple of times before remembering you already know the password to enter. Your fingers press the buttons, entering code you know by heart at this point, and the door quickly unlocks, making Chan to look your way and greet you with a smile.

"Hey, how have you been?" He sweetly says, seeing you entering the room and placing your belongings on top of the big desk in front of you and taking a seat on the couch behind him.

"Busy. And tired." You murmur and let out a sigh. Chan immediately plays a song at a low volume and takes seat next to you.

"You're still struggling with the track you told me about?"

You nod as an answer and pout, "I am desperate. It's like, no matter how many times I rewrite the lyrics or change the beats, it still doesn't convince me at all and I hate it."

"I get it," He sighs. "But don't worry about it, I'm here to help you out."

And Chan isn't someone who breaks his promises, so the following hours are spent listening to your music, carefully reading everything you've written so far, listening to your ideas and giving you advice.

In between work, he tells you every other joke to make you laugh and feel at least a bit less stressed; and it works wonderfully since he has a long list of dad jokes that take you off guard, plus his laughter is contagious, so not laughing with him is impossible.

It's no surprise that his advice and opinions are so accurate to the point of clearing your mind and helping you out of your creative block. Chan has always been hard-working and so good with words that every time you engage him in conversations, you feel more relaxed and less burdened. No matter what situation you had a problem with, Chan would always help you find the best solution for it. Maybe that's why you admire him so much, maybe it was one of the many reasons why you didn't hesitate for a second to go to him and find security in his presence and words... Maybe it was one of the thousands of reasons why you had romantic feelings towards him...

"Is it better now?" His voice takes you out of your thoughts. He's sweetly smiling at you; he probably realized you got lost on the way his lips were moving as he told you his thoughts on the recent draft of your song.

"Yeah, yes, honestly, you've helped me so much. I don't know what I'd do without you." You smile and go for a quick hug, taking the opportunity to ruffle his hair. Your fingers sliding between his soft and messy curls and making him fondly smile in the process. "You're my hero. I mean it."

Chan chuckles and can't keep his eyes off you as you type something on your laptop and hum. He recalls the conversation he had last week with Felix, and that ambiguous feeling settling on his chest makes him wonder if, after all, his friend was right. He doesn't remember when was the last time he felt the urge to hold someone in between his arms and dearly appreciate, and he wants to know why he smiles and feels his stomach tickling when he sees you.

Maybe it's because you spend a lot of time with him, a voice inside his head says. But he doesn't feel this way with any other friend.

Maybe it's because you have known him for a long time and you just appreciate him a lot, the voice tries again. Maybe. He finally gives in at the last thought. He'd have to figure it out.

His phone buzzes inside the pocket of his jeans and he takes it, knowing for sure it's a message from Felix.

"Felix is arriving in a few minutes." He murmurs, making you take your eyes off the screen. "He wants to listen to some songs I have, is that okay?"

"Of course, it's your studio, silly." You giggle. "I am almost done with this, so if you're gonna be busy I can go back to m-"

"You can stay, if you want to." He quickly adds. "Plus, he says he wants to see you, you know... He misses you." Chan laughs. He wasn't lying, but that wasn't the only reason he wanted you to stay.

"Okay! Sure, I haven't heard from him in a while, either." You nod and keep making changes on the file you have open.

Just as he said, Felix enters the room just a few minutes later, smiling brightly and immediately running to give you a big hug once he sees you.

Soon, the room was filled with laughter and long conversations to catch up on everything around your lives. Felix tells you about the new pastries he baked last week and that he was waiting for you to come around and bake with him, the new video game Jeongin bought and has been playing with Hyunjin, the new songs Changbin and Jisung have been working on and how Seungmin was learning to play piano, playing songs at night for everyone at the dorm.

"And you know? Chan hyung has gotten better at flirting." He laughs as the latter gives him a threatening glare. "He can't stop saying pickup lines whenever he has the chance."

"Ah, really?" You chortle. "You haven't said one in all the time we've been here."

"Well, we've been working, and I've told you many other jokes... Besides, it's not like I come up with them out of nowhere."

"Yes, you do!" Felix says. "You do that all the time, what are you talking about?"

You glance at Chan, who's currently blushing and at the loss of words. Felix, on the other hand, seems to be happy to see what he just provoked. And he'd definitely enjoy every part of it.

"I want to hear one! C'mooon!" You laugh. "Please?"

Chan rolls his eyes and tries to look confident as he would normally do. He clears his throat and thinks of a good pickup line he hasn't used yet.

"Alright," He says and smiles, he even thinks it's gonna start laughing before even opening his mouth, but the very moment he looks into your eyes, it's like he forgot every single word on his vocabulary. "Uhm, are you, no. Did you-? Wait! I forgot what I was gonna say-"

Felix can't help but burst into laughter, and you only look at him, as if you couldn't believe it. Was he nervous or was it because of the fact that Felix was in the same room? Would it have been any different if he weren't there?

You end up laughing at Felix's loud laughter, as well as seeing Chan blushing up to his ears and hiding his face behind his hands, probably also in an attempt to cover the huge grin he now has.

"Wow, that was an epic failure. And I thought you were the biggest flirt on earth." Felix teases him, to which Chan ends up groaning.

He continues talking about other stuff while Chan stops feeling embarrassed, even though he's not able to look in your eyes for the entire time until you have to go back to work.

You close your laptop and stand up, throwing the now empty cup of coffee on the trash bin. After thanking Chan for his help and promising Felix you'd drop by their dorm soon, you walk out of the studio with a smile and feeling your heart beating fast. There was no way you didn't have feelings for him.

"Oh my god, so I was right!" Felix says a few seconds after you left. Chan's first instinct is to cover his face again. "Look who got nervous so suddenly."

"Stop, I- I don't even want to talk about it." He murmurs, feeling flustered and avoiding Felix's gaze. He types something on his laptop and presses the play button, hoping that this way, his friend would forget about what just happened and could focus solely on the music.

And Felix doesn't talk about it anymore. The next few minutes are set by the music coming out of the speakers; the room filling with Chan's voice, singing the love songs that probably no one else would listen to. Felix seems to be concentrating on the lyrics, but Chan's thoughts are solely about you. As he listens to the songs, he is aware of how his skin bristles every time his hands accidentally touch you, the times when your eyes connect with his and you give him smiles every time it happens, all those times when his heart would race when he hugged you.... It's as if all those songs that professed a love he said he didn't feel, started to make sense.

He feels overwhelmed. Maybe if he was aware of it before, maybe if he listened to his heart instead of his head, this wouldn't be a big revelation to him.

Chan pauses the music, and before Felix can ask what's going on, he speaks up: "Why- why did I do that?"

"Did... what, exactly?" Felix asks, confused.

"The pickup line thing!" He blurts out. "I mean, I do that all the time, right? Why did I just forget how to even talk?"

Felix giggles, "Well, have you considered it's because when you use those pickup lines on us you just do it for laughing? To joke around with us, and with Y/N it's because... I don't know, you have feelings for him and it gets real? Like you're flirting with him."

Makes sense, he thinks. He remains in silence for a moment, processing everything that just happened and finally connecting the dots.

"Wait, you just had your epiphany?" Felix jokes. "It took you too, too long."

"I can barely fall asleep, how was I supposed to know I was falling in love?"

"Fair enough." He says, comprehensive. "Are you telling him?"

"Should I?" Chan's eyes sparkle, but he still feels confused. Should he even try? It's been so long since he last felt this way about someone, and given the circumstances of his life as an idol, he felt more reluctant to take the next step. Even more, considering he had just taken the first one by accepting his feelings a few minutes ago.

"I was right all this time by you being in love," He says. "And I am also sure that it's mutual. I've seen you two for a while, you know? I am surprised you didn't come the realization way earlier than this."

Chan giggles. "Alright, I get it."

"But it's up to you now, I guess. All I know is that you deserve to be happy, and you deserve good things... And Y/N is a great person. You should give yourself an opportunity on love."

Chan feels chills as he hears those words. Tonight's even have been too much for him to process, so he'll think deeply about it later.

"Okay," He nods. "Thanks, Lix. You've been really helpful."

"I know, what would you do without me?" Felix laughs. "Now let's keep listening to the songs, I am loving all of them."

Fortunately, the help Chan gave you really made it possible for you to finish the songs in no time. You are just now walking out of a meeting with your managers and the people in charge of the release of the album to set the final details, and you quickly send a message to Chan to let him know the news.

In the meantime, you drop by your studio to clean up a little and maybe write down some ideas for new songs that have been in your mind for a while. After a few minutes, you hear a knock on the door, snapping you out of your thoughts and then feeling confused. You weren't expecting anyone to come. So you slowly open the door, and a smile spreads across your face the moment you realize it's Chan.

"Oh, hi!" You greet him with a hug, immediately letting him in afterwards. He shyly gets inside, taking a seat on a chair and placing a bag on the small table behind him. "What brings you here? I thought you were still busy with you guys upcoming album."

"It's okay, Changbin is working on his stuff now at the studio, so I took the chance to come here and celebrate with you!" He grins. "Congratulations on making your first self-produced album!"

He starts clapping, making you smile; he truly was the sweetest person you've ever met.

As soon as he read your message he went to the nearby cafeteria and bought your favorite drink and pastries, claiming that it was a special occasion and should be celebrated.

"For all your hard work and the success of this album!" He makes a toast as he raises his cup of tea.

Soon you find yourselves immersed in a long conversation about everything that went into creating this album; from when you had the first idea for the concept, to those sleepless nights when he helped you without hesitation. Chan was definitely an essential part of this whole process, so to be celebrating with him right now felt right. It was how it should be.

"You know," Chan clears his throat as another song starts playing. "These past days I've had this thought in my head, and after talking it out with Felix... I am certain about it. And I want to tell you about it. I know I have to."

You frown, feeling curiosity, especially since his semblance has changed to be a bit more serious. He still has a small smile that gives you some kind of tranquility, but another part of you can't help but feel nervous as he gets a little bit closer.

"Of course, what is it?"

"So, uhm" He starts. "Some weeks ago, when Felix came to the studio and we were talking with you... Well, the reason he came was because he wanted to listen to some love songs I've worked on. And, after listening to all of them I figured out why I didn’t like them. I was sure I wasn't in love. That's why, to me, they all sounded plain and didn’t convey the feeling of love... But then..."

He makes a pause, catching his breath as he feels more and more nervous. He knows for sure his ears and cheeks are red right now, and it's impossible that you haven't noticed it. His hands slightly shake behind the table, anxiously looking for yours, but refraining from doing it because he doesn't know how this was going to end. You don't want to interrupt him, so you give him his time to clear his head and talk again.

"While listening to those songs, the only thought I had in mind was you." He finally confesses, with his gaze now fixed on his lap. "I guess that for a while I didn’t realise that I started to, uhm, catch feelings for you. And, it's okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I just really wanted to let you know because the thought has been on my mind for so long and I needed to let it out."

For a moment, the only thing that can be heard in the room is your voice coming from the speakers along with a sigh from Chan, who still didn’t dare to look up and face you.

"So... what you're saying is..." You speak up, feeling incredibly shy, trying to process the words addressed to you.

"What I am trying to say is that I am in love with you."

And you swear you could start screaming to the top of your lungs right now, but you try your very best to stay calm and finally grab Chan's hands. With that, he looks at you again.

"Channie," You softly say, looking at him in his precious eyes and dearly smiling. You don't even know where to begin, but a voice inside you begs for you to give him a hug. So you open your arms and embrace him tightly, feeling instant comfort and love. "I am so glad you feel this way too. I love you too."

Chan sighs in relief, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you closer; his nose pressed against the crook of your neck and closes his eyes, melting between your arms and enjoying every single second of that gesture.

"Wait a minute," You say out of nowhere, so he separates a bit from you and tilts his head. "That's why you couldn't even say a sentence when you tried to say a pickup line?"

You laugh when his expression changes to look ashamed, his lips frowned in a pout and his gaze avoiding your eyes again.

"Try again, I'm sure you're good at this." And Chan's head only comes up with the dozens of lines he has read, but seeing you smiling right in front of him and your arms over his shoulders, he can only think how lucky he is. He can't possibly say anything to you. "Alright, let me try instead."

You hum and recall all the pickup lines you've read and have been told before, "Hm, can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll return it."

And you expected Chan to start laughing out loud, instead he starts blushing again and giggling, covering his face as he feels nervous.

"C'mon! Seriously?" You laugh and wait for him to stop being shy.

"You make me nervous, give me time." He excuses himself and laughs some more. "That was a good one, and you know what? You can borrow all the kisses you want, as long as you keep your word and return them."

"See? That's what I'm talking about!"

Chan fondly smiles at you, placing his hand on your head to pet your hair for a moment. You close your eyes as he does it, feeling his soft touch traveling all the way down to your chin. He rests his thumb on your cheek and after a few seconds you decide to open your eyes.

"Can I?" He murmurs as his gaze shifts from your eyes to your lips.

"You don't even have to ask."

And just as you give him permission, he breaks the distance between you two. He starts carefully, placing his lips against yours in a tender, chaste way, barely there pressure that makes you exhale through your nose as if you had been holding your breath all along. One of his hands still holds you by the waist, so he takes the opportunity to slide it to your lower back, carefully holding you and sending you shivers to your entire body.

You lean forward barely a few millimeters, but it's enough to feel more pressure over your lips. Chan angles his head and traps your bottom lip, tongue trying to dart out of his mouth to taste more of the sweetness of yours. He, however, contains himself and smiles in between the kiss, instead. He was probably gonna be the death of you.

The deep kiss loses intensity as a minute passes by, so you two end up giving smaller kisses and share smiles, your noses constantly touching in skimo kisses. And you think it's perfect; it's way better than what you one day imagined.

Chan can't miss the chance to make you sit on his lap, so now your head rests over his chest. Your fingers fidgeting the hem of his hoodie and shyly longing to intertwine your hands.

"Hey, Y/N?" He grabs your attention and smiles. "Are you a parking ticket?"

You raise an eyebrow, "Why?"

"Because you've got fine written all over you." He ends up with a muffled laughter.

"Oh no, what did I just get myself into?" You joke around, this time finally making him burst into a louder laughter. "You just declared war on me about pickup lines, you know?"

"Oh, so you got some lines, too? Can't wait to hear all of them, then."

And for the rest of the day you let yourself be held in between the arms of the person you loved the most. Later you'd find the way to flirt with him and make him feel flustered when he least expects it.

#kpop x male reader #skz x male reader #stray kids x m!reader #stray kids x male reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids male reader #bang chan x male reader #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #bang chan x reader #stray kids imagines

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minisoc · 3 years

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As requested, line by line breakdown of testoster2's anti communist rant about parties.

> idk which baby leftist needs to hear this

off to a great condescending start from someone whose only left credit is claiming to be on the left on their Tumblr

> but joining a socialist party will be a waste of your time.

I couldn't imagine a more cop opinion to start us off with. i see things like this and i think: whose interests does this serve? "oh no baby leftists, don't join a party" just brings to mind this image

> you'll probably have to pay a monthly due

that's true. every communist party in history has taken dues from members. it's typically scaled to what you can manage though and it's part of the collective effort of the party organization to make social change. my dues sent comrades to Venezuela and Cuba to learn from socialists there, they produced our programs for free lunches, it built our community centers. i have no regrets about paying my dues, i pay dues to my union as well.

> that goes to like. flyers no one reads

projection. sounds now like op is defending their own lack of action with a lack of belief in the possibility of change. in my experience people do read things and even change their minds after reading things. if people were not able to be affected by the written word then propagandists on all sides would be in a tough situation.

> that you yourself will have to give to people

oh no, you mean joining a party means you might have to do outreach and talk to people? can see why it's not for op, then.

> (this in case the money doesn't go straight in the party leader's pocket).

op has never seen this but says it like it's a fact. it would be pretty easy to find out if your party leadership is embezzling and your party should be structured in a way that you know they'd be thrown out if they betrayed everyone like this. i have that confidence in my party, at least.

this is also very reminiscent about how anti communists engage with propaganda. they feel comfortable making claims of any kind whether supported or not. anyway, this is another obvious cop opinion.

> you'll waste time writing papers and reports and shit, it'll feel like having a second job.

not explained is why writing is a waste of time. i think writing for a party is almost always a useful activity, whether you're making plans for a new action or campaign or producing new agitational materials or analysing the results of previous work so you can improve on it.

it is a job, though. being a communist does mean doing work, society won't change by sitting at home and attacking communist parties on Tumblr. the lifelong sacrifices made by hard working communists are why we have seen so many socialist victories in the last century.

> the most exciting events will be lib shit like elections

this again can only be projection. the most exciting times for me have been in some of the countries largest protest actions, organizing campaigns to free political prisoners, providing at risk communities with basic needs and engaging with them, building new unions, etc. etc

> or peaceful protests that the party would still organize w/o you as a member

here's the key issue with op i think. they want to be vital to the revolution. they don't want to think that they're only one of many people all working together. yes it's true the party will continue without you, especially a wannabe cop like you. but it doesn't mean party work is useless, it just means you are useless as an individual.

> (showing up at a protest w/o having a party affiliation gives you more freedom

freedom to do what, i do wonder? being afraid of party work bc it doesn't let you do whatever you want is kinda silly, if you don't want anyone to ever tell you what to do then yeah don't join a party. if you want to make change in the world then do.

> + makes you a bit less arrestable - as opposed to if a cop saw you carrying a name tag w the hammer and sickle on it. just fyi)

this again appears to have been just made up by op. I've never been arrested for wearing a pin or a party tshirt. i don't know a single person who has. and I've known plenty of people without any markings get arrested.

> all this w/o even mentioning how (depending on your luck) there could be a lot of infighting, splits, sometimes purges

well yes it sounds like there would be a lot of drama wherever op goes but it doesn't seem to be the case generally. my party did form in a split, but over 15 years ago. i don't see any reason to worry that it would happen again any time soon. we don't infight at all, sorta the concept of the party is people who want to work effectively together.

another bit of funny evidence that op is anti communist is the inclusion of the word purges, lol. purge means expulsion from party, ooh very sinister.

> all in all, joining a socialist party is a very, Very ineffective way of building communism lmao

well first it's simply a truth that no socialist country was ever built without a communist party. not one.

but also, did any of ops points have anything to do with effectiveness? all i gathered is they're pushing an individualistic, don't tell me what to do outlook. and the condescension about protests and flyering suggest they want something more adventurist, possibly involving violence. remember the fbi and police always instigate when they infiltrate groups. they always push for criminal actions and violence.

> i'd instead recommend you talk to your neighbours abt their lives, and see how you can help each other.

hey, guess what a party does! do you think our new tenants unions and unemployed councils could come into being without talking to neighbors? do you think our new unions could come into being without discussing the way we could help each other?

> if you live in like a very rich neighbourhood or something, instead of joining a socialist party

well isn't this an interesting premise. i wonder what it says about op that they want to emphasize what the well off should do.

> it'd be way more effective if you joined a liberal/conservative party and then fucked their shit up as much as possible

sure, just see every other attempt in history at wrecking or entryism with the Democratic party. i encourage you to look into it

> if ur only goal is meeting other leftists, only go to the first 2 or 3 party meetings, by then you'll know the scene and you'd have already befriended the interesting people. that;s my advice at least

this piece of advice is generally good. in fact before applying to join any party if at all possible i encourage you to meet with the members local to you, see how they work, see what you think of their ideas and what they're doing. if they're not active in your community, ask why not. there's nothing requiring you to join if it isn't for you. but if you want to make change in this country, learning how to do it from those with experience is best. and working together in an organization that can effectively chart a path forward is the only option there is. every communist revolution was built with the leadership of the communist party.

#testoster2 #close reading #communist parties #socialism #us politics

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smilingperformer · 3 years

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Discussing the good and bad of Pokémon Journeys: Part “Rocket Gang”

It is no secret that the handling of Rocket Gang in Journeys is quite different from how the fans and audience have come to know them. Even I have tons to say about how I feel about Rockets in this series, so let's get started!

TLDR; Their handling in this series isn't exactly the best kind as it has removed one of the beloved aspects of them (having own Pokémon they bond very closely with) and is showing less often how they are RIGHTEUS evil, not evil evil. More under the cut, Journeys abverted to JN.

So. How do I begin. Let's start with saying: I am a Rocket Fan. A huge one. Ever since I started watching Pokémon couple years ago during Sun & Moon's first year, I fell in love with these buffoons, and I absolutely adored how the two bonded with their Pokémon and showcased that they're not that different from the brats, just on the villainnous side. Kojiro is a loving and caring man, Musashi has gone through lots of stuff and Nyarth has deep understanding over Pokémon's feelings due to his past experiences. Oh, Sonansu's there too, I love that blue blop so much. Honestly, the main reason I love these four so much is because they're such lovable villains who tend know what is right for their Pokémon, or other Pokémon they manage to bond with. And it was shown really well pre-SM as well.

Like, one of my favourite episodes of all time for Rockets is actually JN019, and it's because of how the Rockets end up helping a Ditto/Metamon who wants to be a proper actor, but thus far tended to fail in transforming into Pokémon perfectly. Musashi, as a actress herself, really bonds with this Metamon, managed to help it perfect the transformation with the help of Kojiro, Nyarth and Sonansu, and despite having the job to pokenap Pokémon... they actually end up helping Metamon to get back its job, to make sure it doesn't have a reputation of a Rocket 'mon. And they do SUCH a good job at acting like they're not intending it.

Like, during this acting performance, they really want to get blasted off! They don't even hide it. They keep provoking Satoshi to use Pikachu's Thunderbolt to blast them off and save Metamon that way. And I just fricking love them for this asjhgsjhgfs.

But aside from this episode, there really hasn't been that many episodes focusing on this aspect of Rockets. Another good episode for them JN is JN024 thou, where Rockets are on vacation and, are NOT on their villainous acts.

They're mere citizens in that episode, enjoying their free time in Sinnoh's Resort Area. And even when the brats come around, they fully ignore their need to capture Pikachu. For Sakaki-sama's orders. Akjhksajfh I just, really love how this ep managed to show that, even if they are part of Rocket Gang, it's merely their job, not who they are fully. They're not like Matori, they're not like Yamato and Kosanji- oh it's Kosaburo. They're merely doing the villainous stuff because they believe it to help make the world better. And when they're not working? They're good citizens. This was such a good episode for them because of this because it really showed that they could easily just be friends with the brats if they weren't on the opposite sides.

They even helped foil Matori's team's plans on kidnapping every single Pokémon in the Resort Area and sajghsjhgf. These four really hate Matori now do they. They're on her side, but they also keep foiling her plans. Even in Sun & Moon they foiled Matori's plans to pokenap Nuikoguma, because they knew their lovely Kiteruguma mom bear would be upset. As I said before: They're villains, but they're not evil evil. They do the evil stuff for their own rightful reasons.

Now that I've discussed the reasons I love Rockets and what I've loved in JN, let's talk about what it is that makes me feel iffy about their handling in JN, one of them being the lack of own permament poketeam.

In the past seasons, Rockets would always catch themselves one of their own 'mon that would willingly join their causes, and end up bonding with them deeply. In JN, this is... pretty much non-existant. We have the recurring 'mon of Kamukame/Chewtle and Morpeko, but the first one appears in such a rare rate, and latter one has been used as a... abuse comedy. When the Morpeko started following Rockets, I had hoped that it would end up bonding with the Rockets and they'd find some common ground, but so far, there's no sign of it, and Morpeko is more like a leech in their base instead of a powerful asset, and like. I feel like this was the show's way of trying to recreate Kiteruguma but with an opposite twist of it eating their rations instead of feeding them like Kiteruguma did, but it's not working as well as Mama Bear's gimmick did. At least in my opinion.

Now let me just say that, I don't really mind the Rocket Gacha machine. I feel like the concept it has is pretty cool, and seeing what kind of Pokémon Rocket Gang has managed to capture for using is super cool to witness. They also have been able to switch up it's results in unique and fun ways and seeing it sometimes fail is kinda fun and relatable to anyone who's played gacha games, sajhgfs. However, it feels like the Gacha completely replaced Rocket Quatret's ability to capture Pokémon of their own and, it hurts my soul to say it.

I think one of the reasons they did this route was due to how in Sun & Moon, Musashi and Kojiro ended up leaving their 'mon behind, due to knowing that they won't like it at the Rocket Head Quarters and leaving the cozy family that is Kiteruguma and Nuikoguma. So, maybe the writers felt like the Quatret would now feel bad about capturing 'mon they would bond closely with after this, and then ending up having to send them to HQ. So in a way, I get the possible intention behind this decision. Yet it still hurts. And I feel like most Rocket Fans feel the same way.

Their writing is pretty much the same throughout the show (which imo is kind of an average, as it doesn't hit the nail the same way I came to love them in Sun & Moon or OS to DP era, or even XY and Best Wishes DA! Arc), so it doesn't make sense for me to recite every single appearance of theirs, but I really have to discuss what irritated me a lot:

So. JN059.

I'll just say it straight away: I did not like how Rockets were written in this episode. At all. While their personality was spot on, their motives and actions weren't. Like... the fact that Grookey/Sarunori was a Rocket 'mon is a unique concept and I honestly like it. However, the way Sarunori ended up switching sides was so bad for me. So bad.

No. I am not one of those who think that Gou stole Sarunori from them and doesn't deserve it. No. That ain't my problem. It's more like the issue in how Rockets weren't allowed to learn more about Sarunori, bond with it, learn that it's not the one to want to join the villanous side and feels happier with Gou. The idea of the story for Rocket 'mon to switch sides is great. Excecution however is not.

Like... this line where Musashi says that Sarunori needs to be sent back to HQ to be re-educated specifically ticks me off in bad way and I hate to feel ticked off like this. And this line is all because they weren't allowed to learn more about Sarunori's motives. Because the plot had to be in one episode. I feel like the motives, Rocket Gang's handling and side switching would have worked better for me, if it was a longer built arc. Sort of like how Mijumaru/Oshawott, Hikozaru/Chimchar and the likes of them were done.

And this hurts more because of JN019 where they WERE allowed to bond and perform an act of helping Metamon get back its job. These buffoons KNOW when the 'mon deserves to go to the non-villainous side. And it's all because of JN019 that I feel so strongly ticked off for this line. "We'll... ...have you re-educated". That's not what they were gonna do with Metamon. Like. God damn it.

Rockets were there when Hikozaru switched teams from Shinji to Satoshi. They came to care for the lil monkey before this switch and after this switch. They KNEW it would be better off with Satoshi, and they kept rooting for it from afar, despite constantly trying to steal it. That's their job. Same with how Nyarth comes to like the Honcho Nyabby, due to its background, and finds peace with knowing that Nyabby will find a happy life with Satoshi. All of these examples are exactly why I strongly dislike how Jn059 handled Rockets, and I so god damn wish they would have ACCEPTED that Saruroni should join Gou, but make it so that they'd have to rescue Sarunori instead of giving it to them just like that. They're not heartless.

Unless this was an act from them. Which I doubt since Nyarth learns about Sarunori wanting to go with Gou late into the episode and then trying to deny it having been said??? Uuuugh. This episode really could have used more build up and different handling with Rockets.

Another option that would have made me like Sarunori's capture was if it had been some other Rockets it escaped from, like Matori Matrix or sudden return of Yamato and Kosaburo, or something else. I LIKE the idea of Sarunori being a Rocket 'mon, so I wouldn't change it. I just don't like that it was OUR beloved Rockets that had to be treating it this way.

Sigh. Now that that's out of the way. What else is there to say. Well. How would I try improving Rockets in JN? Simple: give them their own Pokémon to care for. Make them bond with more than just Chewtle. Let them have Pokémon they can bond with and show their loving side with. It's severely lacking right now and I feel like most Rocket fans are really missing this aspect a lot. Also please don't make them act like they don't understand Pokémon's feelings. They do. I'm glad that Satoshi still knows that Rockets care for Pokémon of their own and wouldn't treat them badly, but it still isn't showcased that well in JN. So I wish it would improve on that. I would also seriously love it if some of their old 'mon from past shows would come up from the Gacha Machine, as I'd imagine them being put inside there as well. It did have tons of Gulpin inside for some reason.... Sakaki, wtf.

Well. I guess there's not much else to talk about regarding Rockets. In short, I love Rockets, but I'm not happy with how they're handled in JN fully and despite there being couple really good episodes for them, and some of the episodes have excellent usage with them (like JN038 where Musashi just casually says "Evening" to Satoshi when he discovers them hiding in bushes, sajhgshfsghjf forever love that moment). I just want better handling with their righteus evil.

So. What's up next? I'm thinking about compiling a post of COTDs and supporting cast next time, which would include the likes of Kikuna, Renji, Sakuragi, family casts etc.

So, thanks for reading if you got this far, hope you enjoyed it despite possibly disagreeing with me, and I hope you'll all have a fantastic day.

Til next time! Aleira, aka Smiling Performer, signing out!

#pokemon #pokeani #anipoke #pokemon jn #team rocket #rocket gang #discussions #character discussions

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citylightsbooks · 3 years

Text

The Motor of the Essay: Rachel Kushner in Conversation

This is an excerpt of a free event we held in conjunction with Litquake for our virtual events series, City Lights LIVE. This event features Rachel Kushner in conversation with Dana Spiotta celebrating the launch of The Hard Crowd: Essays 2000-2020, published by Scribner. This event was originally broadcast live via Zoom and hosted by our events coordinator Peter Maravelis. You can listen to the entire event on our podcast. You can watch it in full as well on our Youtube channel.

*****

Dana Spiotta: I know that everyone's going to ask you these questions about writing fiction versus nonfiction. And I read somewhere that you said, with your novels, you begin with imagery more than an idea or a character. With the nonfiction, there is a range of pieces about writers and specific books to journalism--like the prison story and Palestine--and then there’s the ones that are personal essays, right, like the girl in a motorcycle. So I guess they might all have different origins. But where do you begin with that? And how is that different as a process from what you write in fiction?

Rachel Kushner: Yeah, so it is kind of a different process for me, although I sometimes feel guilty to try to make declarations about which is harder, or how one does one thing, because you know, for some people, the essay is what literature is.

For me, fiction is more difficult. And so in a certain way it's what I've signed on to do with my life, because the process can be so mysterious and fickle and unreliable. And I'm waiting to catch a wave, or get the drift and then try to figure out how to sustain it, and then how to change it in order to sustain it. Managing so many different things at once is a very curious hermeneutic, because you need to know where you're going.

But then you also need to let happenstance inform you. I think some of the ways that we are challenged, and how we learn in our lives and also as writers, are by having encounters that we did not anticipate or predict, and that happens in fiction. And then you're kind of in a "taking mode" and you know exactly what's for you and you go with it and you run.

Essays are a little different for me. I mean, obviously. Time is shorter. But usually the motor of the essay is a sprung sentence. I come up with one sentence that is doing something in the syntax and it's making something sort of declarative. And it's kind of a gambit. And it needs to be followed by another. And sometimes I'll have a whole paragraph like that. And those paragraphs will just be floating in the void of the potentiality of the essay that I haven't written yet. And I don't sweat, like, "How am I going to link this to that?" yet. Because I just know by instinct that they're both going in. And if I put them in the essay, then they are interrelated by virtue merely of their proximity to each other. Then I start to build links.

Some journalism is a very different process. Like you mentioned, for the piece that I wrote, originally for the New York Times Magazine, about prison abolition and the carceral geographer, Ruth Wilson Gilmore, they said it can be any length and made it long. So you know, it was like 20,000 words. And it was my version of that essay, and it probably was a pretty good essay. But I think the weakness in it was that I was not speaking to their audience. And they really--you have written for the New York Times Magazine--they want to be able to countenance everything you say, sentence by sentence. It's not like writing an op-ed, where you just say your thing and then people can fight it out in the comments. They want to be fully on board. And I wouldn't want to have to do that all the time.

It's extremely difficult, because you have to keep remembering how to bring in somebody who may have wildly different ideas about how society should be organized, and not seem polemical, not seem pushy. It's a kind of seduction I think that really benefits from collaboration with an editor. It's arduous, it takes time. That essay took two years to write, but because the subject matter was important to me, ultimately, I decided it was worth it.

Dana Spiotta: Yeah, it's such a great essay. And I learned so much from it.

Peter Maravelis: When you're writing about events and feelings from decades ago, how do you return to the experience? What takes you back?

Rachel Kushner: That's a really great question. So, you know, with some of these essays, like the first essay in the book called “Girl on a Motorcycle,” which is about the Cabo 1000--a no longer existent, illegal motorcycle road race where you span the Baja in the course of a day--was the first thing that I ever published and I wrote it 20 years ago. And after looking back over it, in order to put it in this book and to improve upon it, I opened it up; I wrote a new beginning and a new ending. There are so many details and scenes in that essay that I never, ever would have remembered had I not written them down when I was much closer to the meat of that experience.

But there are other essays like the title essay which I just wrote quite recently. I'd put the book together, and I knew it was going to be called “The Hard Crowd.” And then I just basically sat down and wrote this essay. And I think, you know, as maybe you're telling a story, or going through your life, sometimes things really do sort of trigger the release of a memory. And Proust has this conception of two different kinds of memory that he calls voluntary memory and involuntary memory. And voluntary memory is the kind of fixed story that you tell, you know, "Oh, he's telling that story again," meaning it's a kind of sclerotic, hardened account that, for Proust, doesn't really have any real artistic or intrinsic wealth to it. Whereas involuntary memory is maybe when you would smell a perfume that you haven't smelled in 30 years and it reminds you of this or that. And I think that writing itself can activate involuntary memory, because you start to see into spaces you haven't seen in a really long time.

Like when I was writing this essay, I somehow ended up talking about Terence McKenna, and remembered that I'd seen Terence McKenna give this lecture at the Palace of Fine Arts. And then I saw the Palace of Fine Arts and him on the stage and where I was sitting, and who was in the audience. And so then I mentioned in the essay that this noise musician who I don't know, but I knew who he was, was sitting right in front of me. And that was a funny thing because the New Yorker called him and asked, "Were you at a Terence McKenna lecture in 1991." “Yeah, I was.” I mean he probably thought like the FBI is after him or something. I can start to see things and details in pretty haunting detail, particularity once I'm starting to build the framework that will allow those kind of involuntary memories to come up to present themselves.

Peter Maravelis: Do you feel that maybe kids who grew up in a certain era share communal memories, like growing up in San Francisco in the 70s is full of shared moments and scenes?

Rachel Kushner: Yes, I do feel that, but I would maybe even particularize it to not just an era, but to kids who grew up in a certain world within San Francisco. And I'm going to just be blunt: it's the kids who went to public school in San Francisco in the 70s and 80s. We all traversed a world together, and the particularity of that world. I'm not saying that it's special or different. Everybody has a world that they traversed, and that stays inside of them as memory. And ours is ours. And those who experienced it do feel bonded, I think, for life, in a way. And it's something I've thought about a lot since that essay was published in the New Yorker because of the number of people who reached out to me and wanted to talk about their own memories of this same world that we shared.

Peter Maravelis: In the New York Times review, Dwight Garner mentioned the phrase: “At the party, she was kindness in the hard crowd," from the Cream song "White Room." Is that in fact where your title came from?

Rachel Kushner: It is. I mentioned that in the title essay, it all becomes clear, or at least somewhat clear where I heard that song, and why I made it the title of this book. It's a good line.

youtube

To see upcoming events at City Lights bookstore in San Francisco, check out our complete calendar.

#Rachel Kushner #Dana Spiotta #City Lights Books #City Lights Publishers #City Lights Podcast #LIVE! From City Lights #The Hard Crowd #Youtube

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yuvon-writes-letters · 3 years

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Hey guys :)

Maybe I'm going chronological for one time, so I can sort my thoughts easier.

Yeah, Goldie's much mire active than I would've thought, too. But they did all those things to keep me alive and kind of save, since we still don't know who they are exactly working against. (I mean, we don't know who Goldie exactly is either, but you get my point)

Honestly, I am pretty sure the TSB timeline is continuing, at least if my theory that Goldie just set me back in an alternate timeline is true. In this case I feel sorry for TSB, though..Extremely sorry. He still was 'my' Jake back then, even though he acted weird in the end (maybe was manipulated by entities). I mean, if what he wrote was true he went with authorities. And in the end..this could've been his downfall.

And yeah, maybe I'm not exactly safe, but I just have to go back. If I go, and if I lose my job, I have some things to sort out. And Jake luckily agreed with me that clearing up my desk isn't the worst thing I can do before leaving. We're still thinking about a location, which I could luckily deside myself. Max agreed on that. Even though he still has some doubts. (I mean, of course...His cousin opened the door with bruises all over her face.) He did promise to not ask any questions until I feel ready, though. That gives myself and Jake some time to figure that out.

And also, Jake is right! We have three Jakes and three smart people. YUVON. And of course Goldie, like you said Yu :) And some information about the previous timeline. (And that was it with being chronological)

So yeah, like I said, Max and I'll go. And I also think we can be pretty certain now that the message came from Goldie not the MWAF (which is relieving). I saw the messages and they didn't make Jake the bad guy. I honestly just don't think I can quote them yet. (They're too good, but I probably start daydreaming if I do) But they talk about Jake being an important part of my life and my heart and Max protecting me when he cannot. My dear cousin jumped to conclusions when he saw my bruised face. About Max' phone...I'll probably throw it in a river or something if he brings it with him. I told him not to, also because of Jake (he's not only worried about the MWAF apparently...He didn't exactly say it out loud, but I think it's pretty obvious) but he loves this device.

And I emphasize with you about the being kidnapped thing, you'll manage it, I know it :) And if I need to jump dimensions and box some sense into your Crow-Crew xD

No but for real, you can do that. I know it :)

Jake, find a good point in time to talk to her. But do it :)

Otherwise, I still think the 'underlying desire' theory is a possibility! But, like always in the moment, we could be wrong.

As for my stasis, I really do not wish to talk to more people who think I've been kidnapped. And I am a bit scared that could somehow lead to either them or me being in more danger again. But for now we have to wait.

I for now will pack some important things and paper & pens xD I don't want to leave y'all behind :P

Liska🐾🔥

[A screenshot is glued to the back of the letter and the quick sentence "Jake wants to talk to Jake" is written above]

Hello Jake, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am not quite sure in which way Liska will handle giving you my message, but she promised me to not read it for now.

I don't know whether she told you before or not, but as far as I am concerned she realised I am not only worried about the MWAF chasing her.

With me breaking out of this stasis I am sure that my followers aren't that far behind. And I know you can't do anything from where you are, but cross checking way to protect her doesn't seem to bad to me. Especially since we are similar but still fairly different from each other. At least it seems like that from what I have read.

For my part, I recently improved and updated Nym-OS which allows me access to Liskas whereabouts. If Yuvon should read this, she knows and agrees to it.

Still I am yet stuck on one little detail: I am trying to help Nym-OS in counterattacking. So, even though I am sure you already knoe this yourself, Nym-OS gets the ability to access location of the people attacking Liskas phone. I am almost done with that, so we are able to see a bit easier if and where people are that could be a danger.

Do you have any other ideas for ways I could help? Or even improve what I am doing momentarily. I wouldn't normally ask this since I know and trust my skills, but I think that this is fairly different from a 'normal situation'.

~ Jake

Lis,

Um. I don't know if you've seen the newest person to send in a letter, but we now have an issue.

Jessy, if you're reading this, I was sort of trying to avoid talking about this right away but I'm sort of trapped in a weird place, and Jake's here too because I'm a dumbass. I did not, so you know, let him read your letter or my reply. I figured you wouldn't want that. Sorry for dancing around the issue earlier :/ But at least you can get a good sample of the complete insanity we go through on the regular now!

Yeah... you're getting thrown into the deep end right now, aren't you. Sorry. There's no way to ease into this. You should probably either stop reading these entirely or start reading the letters from the beginning, so this will all at least make some sense. The first letter should start with the words "To whoever reads this," just so you know you get the right one.

Back to you, Lis. Yeah, I feel pretty bad for TSB Jake too. I honestly can't imagine being in his position right now.

Alright. So, you can choose the place. Great! There's way less chance of you being caught that way...

Tragedies just seem to be happening to all us Duskwood detectives, recently, don't they? Rai is chronically overworked and barely has time to sleep, I'm stuck in this hellhole and I've been forgotten by most everyone, you were shot, and poor Matt died and... well.

I never knew him, but I feel really bad for him :(

You could give Max half the truth. Tell him you have a stalker, and he's starting to get physical. Jake has been trying to help you get away from the asshole. It's not even a lie, just... not the full truth. Because. You know. The whole truth is completely fucking insane.

Writing to Jessy just put into perspective how insane everything is, I think. Gimme a sec.

Oh, fuck. My Jessy just texted me. Great timing.

Jeez that whole thing with me leaving myself out was just a joke XD If I knew you and Jake would take it so seriously, I'd never have said anything. I'll steer clear from now on.

Yeah, okay, definitely Goldie. That makes way more sense. I don't think you have to be quite so drastic as destroying the phone. Just get him to leave it at home for the trip.

Ahaha, thanks. I don't think that's necessary, though. Actually, seeing future!Jessy's perspective has caused a bit of a paradigm shift. I think I might need to reconsider what all to tell and not to tell the Crow Crew. I just sort of default to keeping things secret, now, but you've seen how well that worked for me with you and Rai, and with Jake.

Again, you probably should wait for them to contact you first, but you WILL need to talk to them when that happens. What you say to them and what you don't is up to you.

Pack a couple different pens XD We're all a bit long-winded.

That's all from me :)

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hallo, Lis.

Yuvon refuses to tell me what precisely she means about Jessica. Was she somehow contacted by an alternate version of Jessica? If so, how?

I am glad it was Goldie who contacted Max. Yuvon's suggestion for an excuse seems a good one, as there are far less things to remember that way. You simply need to oversimplify everything.

I do not, unfortunately, entirely believe that Yuvon was joking when she made that comment, based on previous comments and her ongoing guilt. I can't understand sometimes why she feels the need to lie so much. It is difficult for me to read people, much less her.

I will speak to her eventually. Early tomorrow, perhaps, if nothing else rears its head. Yuvon looks tired, and I am also admittedly not at my peak. I sincerely hope she does not wake up as early as she does every single day. It may get somewhat taxing, what with the lack of coffee here.

I think that is all from me to you, Lis. If you would kindly find a way to send the next section to my counterpart without looking at it, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you :)

—Jake and Yuvon

Jake,

It is a pleasure to meet you as well, despite the unusual circumstances.

That our pursuers may be freed from the stasis is a logical conclusion. Seeing as the last known location I had on them in my universe was approximately five hundred miles from Duskwood, they will likely be some of the first to free themselves from the stasis. I do not believe I need to warn you that time is of the essence.

It seems as if I am a small distance ahead of you in the development of countermeasures, perhaps because I have had more linear time to develop them. If you are where I think you are at in the development, you likely have or will soon hit a bug you cannot pin down that makes the pinpointing mechanism simply refuse to work at all. Presuming your and my version of NYM-0S are similar enough, the issue should lie in the public bool set in line 132 of the third part of the targeting script, the script that decides what constitutes a target; you have it defaulted to "false" where it should default to "true".

As for additional countermeasures: I was attempting to work on a rudimentary automated system of pattern detection when I was brought here. Essentially, its function would be such that it would be able to triangulate using the locator features already installed to find a rough estimate of where their headquarters might be. However, I have not found any way thus far to eliminate outliers, and as such the feature is currently next to useless. I am no longer able to work on the code, but perhaps you will have more luck than I did.

That is all I can think of for the moment on that subject. However, I have an odd theory on what may be part of the reason we vary so. If you have a moment to spare, please answer me this:

When I was very young, back when Mother was still around, she took me to a doctor for odd behaviors. This included not looking people in the eyes, but there was a list. I was given a diagnosis; if you had the same experience, you should likely know which one.

Did you have this experience? If so, please prove it by stating what the diagnosis was.

Do not worry if you do not know what I am talking about; I would rather you did not guess. Simply state that you don't know. It will confirm my theory.

Good luck with your pursuers.

—Jake

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

#duskwood letter game #yuvon writes letters #duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #lis #this isn't precisely a puzzle #it's a genuine question on jake's end #you aren't expected to answer unless your jake is the same

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yaboymercury · 5 years

Text

Gassy Lessons - Third class: Science

After all the shit he had been going through Jay needed to vent to someone, and since all his friends had graduated there was only one person at the school he could trust. Mr Watts had taught Jay science every year he spent at the school but where Jay really liked the teacher was in the science class he usually joined each year where he would always enjoy what the man had to say about science, and also happened to give Jay more time to look at his ass. While Jay always got on with the sexy scientist he thought I'd he admitted what has happened to him he might be able to make an influential friend to help him through the year.

So the day after the incident with Mr Johnson, Jay waited until after school finished to go and meet Watts in his classroom. As he expected his favourite teacher was there with his cute ginger hair styled into a pompadour and handsome face giving him a bright smile. It was nice to see a friendly teacher for once.

"I heard you wanted to see me Jay?"

Jay was invited to sit on the other side of the teacher's desk but at least he could still see his face and toned upper half, but he was hoping he would stand up at some point so he could see what was lower down.

"So what is it you came to see me about?"

Jay remembered why he was hear so he cleared his breath and explained his extraordinary experiences over the past few days making it as believable as possible and attempting to convince the teacher how bad it's been for him. And by the looks of it he was getting through to him, when he first mentioned farting the teacher looked shocked and then even angry at his descriptions of how bad they smelled. And when Watts heard that it wasn't just one teacher but two he looked even angrier. Once he was finished Jay was satisfied that he might be able to get some action out of the teacher to maybe help him.

"So you would say that these two men were very talented farters?" Watts asked meaningfully once Jay had finished.

"I wouldn't really call it a talent but they're certainly good at it." Jay replied snarkily.

"Now Jay you don't have to be rude I believe a proficiency in flatulence is a great talent and one I am willing to admit to having myself.

It took Jay a moment to realise what the teacher was saying "Wait are you saying you're a farter as well?!" Jay's heart began to pound.

"Yes Jay I guess you could say I am, and what upsets me is through what you've told me I am no longer the only one at this school, or at least the only one I've discovered..." Jay wasn't really expecting this reaction but for now he didn't feel too threatened at least, but he swore to himself that he wouldn't get gassed again. "It's one of my favourite things about human biology actually, such an efficient but powerful way to get rid of waste built up gas, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't take pride in my own. Through some of my own personal research I've even found ways to enhance my own gas, not like I need it if course."

Jay thought if he treated it like a joke he would be able to change the subject to getting some help for himself. "Hah wow sir you do seem to know you stuff about farting, but -" Jay got cut off by the sound of Watts chair screeching backwards by him standing up.

"Yes Jay, yes I do" The attractive teacher circles round his desk to Jay's side and leaned down on the desk sticking out his ass behind Jay and resting his face on his elbow right near Jay. He gave his student a mischievous but subtly sultry look "Would you like to try one?" The look was piercing and sexual but the implications were horrific, but Jay found himself paralyzed in his teacher's leer. Exhaling the man leaned up off the table and turned away from the boy but off course leaving his perfect ass lined up straight with Jays face, this was the closest Jay had been to it and it was so close he could touch it, he wanted to. "I'll take your silence as acceptance" But Jay was too distracted to understand what he said.

FRRAAAAAAARP

Point blank in Jay's face, it caught him off guard and almost blew his face back, and the stink was something new altogether.

"Ah it's been a while since I've done it in someone's face, how was it?" The man turned around after waving his hand behind his ass a little, he sat on his desk and tilted Jay's chin up to look at him.

"It reeked sir, please don't make me do this again." Jay hoped his begging would get some sympathy but it seemed the scientist only heard what he wanted to.

"Ah good I've still got my signature stink!" He grinned as he let Jay go and hopped off the desk and went to fumble around in his bag and desk eventually pulling out a flask, a clipboard and some plastic lab goggles. "Now Jay how about you and I do a little experiment?"

"What do you mean?" Jay was getting even more worried now, one fart was enough, it was only one but the smell was still stuck in his nose.

"Now Jay for certain experiments like this one it's best that the subject remains unaware" Jay was ready to leave but unfortunately for him Mr Watts noticed and was obviously not making leaving an option. Quickly the man bolted over to Jay and sat on his lap. Jay was of course shocked, such intimate contact got him excited but he was not going to get hard right now, he had to escape.

Squirming under the man's plump ass he tried "Come on Mr Watts isn't this some kind of scientific ethical violation or something?" But Mr Watts just pushed himself down harder as looked back.

"Sorry Jay but with a chance this good and such a unique subject so personal to my skillset, some ethics can be passed." Jay just decided he would brace himself, there was obviously no escape the toned man was stronger than him, he thought that he might be able to at least try and enjoy the teachers ass on him but not too much he wasn't going to risk poking the teacher with anything. After slapping on his goggles Watts began chugging the flask, Jay couldn't tell what it was but it sounded thick and it seemed like his teacher was enjoying it. When the teacher was finished he made a noise of satisfaction and stifled a belch, throwing the flask to the ground Jay did get a look at the bottom of it before it rolled away, written on a label on the bottom it said '10 to 12 minutes' Jay guessed what this meant but he didn't want to think about it.

"Okay then Jay let's begin the experiment shall we, bombs away!"

PRAAAAAAAAARP

PRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAFT

FFFFFRRAPPPP

It seemed like an endless vibrated barrage against Jay's lap and crotch and it wasn't helped by the teacher rubbing in his ass and seemingly moaning with pleasure at letting them out. And even though it wasn't aimed at his face the stench certainly got there with a wave of rotten fecal stench reaching his nose making him gag and cough into his teacher's back.

After a few minutes the teacher stopped and looked back sighing in exasperation and relief. "Now Jay how would you compare this to the flatus of your other two teachers?" Jay understood now and realised why this was all his fault, he had made the scientist jealous, farting was obviously his territory and he wanted to be it's champion, if only he hadn't told him.

"I don't know sir I can't remember" This obviously wasn't what he wanted to hear, he made an annoyed huff, the man was wanting results obviously holding his pen up to his clipboard expectantly. "Okay Jay perhaps this will jog your memory?" He pushed his pen down the back of his trousers and from what Jay could tell from behind him right in between his ass cheeks the man made a deep sigh and the sound of a deep muffled rumble. After a few seconds it stopped but that was enough to scare Jay, when the mad teacher brandished the pen like a sword from its scabbard Jay felt like he could see the stench radiating off of it. He tried to buck his head away as Watts raised it to Jay's head but he knew he was in control here as he used his free hand to grab Jay by the hair holding him in place as he thrust it right up to his nose and with some spare fingers he shoved them into Jay's mouth blocking it as a way of breathing.

"Now Jay take a deep breath, I want you to get all of my stink..." And Jay had to taking a breathe through his nose pushed him over the edge, the smell was like a characteristic fart smell but tenfold making him wretch at the fumes invading his brain. He was going to pass out but his teacher wouldn't let him off that easy slapping him sharply on the cheek jolting the life back into the stink soaked student. "Come on Jay don't be so weak it's just a bit of gas isn't it, now tell me is it worse than those other two?"

Tired of it all, Jay was at least happy he didn't have to lie "It's the worst fart I've ever smelt, you win sir." The teacher got up and sat on his desk facing Jay he leaned back and smiled, he put down his clipboard, he had obviously didn't need it anymore.

"You don't know how happy it makes me to hear that Jay, but then again I know you can vouch for me in saying that I never should have doubted my own brew." To punctuate this he learnt to his side and let out a short burst against the desk making a loud echoing sound.

RRRRRRRRRRAPT

He playfully wafted it at Jay who choked on it quickly and gave his torturer a defeated look. He had given up on escape.

"What can I say I take pride in my gas as I think all men should, even you Jay, but make sure you always remember who the master is" he was cocky but something about it excited Jay about how sensual it made the man seem.

Before the teacher could brag anymore his stomach let out a stark groaning rumble, the man checked his watch and grinned. "Now Jay we're starting phase two of today's experiment, I hope you remember earlier my remarks about my research on enhancing gassiness, well what I drunk earlier was the latest fruit of my research, a new concoction made to improve all elements of flatulence, and from my tests on my now ex-boyfriend I can assure you it works. Gulping this information had a mixed effect on Jay, while he was now saying prayers in memory of his nose, he had at least confirmation that this insane gassy scientist was at least gay, to be honest he probably should have worked it out already.

The man stood up and began pulling off his belt. "Now as the creator of this drink I know how it's results are best enjoyed" he turned around once again giving the student an amazing view. "and I believe that lets just say it's best consumed raw." and with that he pulled down his trousers as well as his underwear and let his round shapely ass pour out showing itself in all its stinking glory to Jay. The boy should have been terrified which he was, but the ass was beautiful with its light coating off hair and deep dark crack the inner pervert in Jay was delighted and obviously had given up on hiding itself. Practically drooling over the gassy man's behind Jay had gotten very obviously hard which made his teacher chuckle "Ah Jay I see that your proving one of my theories about you down there." But with all Jay had been through he was beyond caring.

Wanting to take back some control Jay stood up and thrust himself upon the teacher from the back side with his still contained boner going against the crack of his dreams, at least it wasn't in his face. "Bold choice Jay, but prepare to face the smelly consequences."

FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFPPPPPPPTTTTT

The gust of wretched winds jetted against Jay's cock creating an unbelievable sensation massaging but attacking it, and just because it wasn't point blank doesn't mean that this enhanced fart didn't pack a punch making Jay wretch into the teacher's back which he had now grabbed onto in fear of being blown away by his putrid stench. Unlike the other ones it kept going, the teacher laughing like the mad scientist he was at the massive fart he was letting out.

Both Jay's dick and nose were at breaking point, but only the former actually gave in with Jay spurting while still fully clothed. His knees buckles and as Watts fart began to peter out Jay fell to his knees but either fortunately or unfortunately for him this meant that his head was resting right in the dirty crack of his science teacher.

"I'm not sure if I should call that a brave move or not Jay but I will say that it took balls." He giggled as he saw the wet patch on Jay's trousers "and it seems like I certainly emptied yours, guess your some sort of fetishist because you sure as hell aren't the only one." And after that fart Jay wasn't even sure what to think of himself anymore. All he could do was smile weakly and enjoy being close to such a hot ass.

"However you're really in the firing line there Jay and as a man of science I should really warm you against being so close to a source of toxicity but I guess you've got me feeling rebellious."

Jay felt the cheeks part as the man widened his crack with his hands letting Jay get a closer smell of his ass musk but also lining him straight up with his hole.

"I've been looking for a lab partner for a while actually for some more extra curricular research and I've grown a certain fondness for you as well as the stench endurance of your nose, so let's just say this is the end of your interview for the position as well as the last part of my experiment." he put on hand on the back of the boys head as he pushed him into his crack even deeper "And anyways I can tell by the state and the stink of you that this will end you, so if you survive this I'll see you on the other side..."

BBBBBBBBBBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT

Jay felt like the vile stench embodied him from the nose first rumbling around him like an earth quake. The fart was so powerful it was like a whole body experience of pure masculine stink. And Watts' hypothesis was correct as the fart covered student world went dark.

When he woke up in the class alone he couldn't guarantee he was alive feeling numb and groggy but he was sure as hell he couldn't deny what happened with the stink of flatulence still hanging distinct in the air around him. The sun was setting Jay hurried to grab his bag to get out of school since it must have closed hours ago, he noticed his planner on top of his bag with the page open on his schedule. After school three days a week had been penned in neatly 'Fart practice'. Whatever it was Jay knew this year was going to stink.

#eproctophilia #fart story #fart #fartfiction #gay #gay fart #male fart #stink #flatulence #man fart #fart teacher

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chocolateyorange · 2 years

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Hola Amigos y Amigas! It's been a while since I've posted, huh? But before I start this blog of mine let's have some chitchat hahaha. So recently, I've been thinking about the story that I've written — I'm anxious because it's my first story on Wattpad but I can't help to be nervous. Honestly, the plot just popped into my not-so-little-brain of mine and I was shocked because the plot is really good! As of now, the story that's keeping me busy is still ongoing and there are only a few more chapters left before I end it; until now, I don't publish the book yet cause I'm too scared ( well there's nothing to be scared for if you want to improve yourself as a good writer hehe. ) The other part of me wants — badly wants to publish the story, but other parts of me don't want to publish yet. Yeah, this is a long drama. So, without further ado let's start this blog!

So this book is all new to me — excerpt to be exact cause we haven't yet read the whole book itself. So, as I've said, this is new because I haven't read any classic book before. The story was titled “ The Valley of Amazement” I don't know what it meant, but I guess it's all about love, hope, and a mother and daughter? That's what my teacher said days ago. The excerpt that has been given to us. Talks about an eight-year-old girl who has one extra finger on her pinky finger area. One time, her grandmother said that they should be removed her extra finger to enable her to wear gloves from a dry goods store. And I was shocked when I read this line days ago. (Why force someone to do what you want even though they're against it? Just to satisfy yourself? C'mon what a selfish hag. Back to the story.) But her mother disagreed with her grandmother's advice and they went home. Then, Mr. Maubert, an old friend of her father who's a pianist and her teacher in piano also influenced the idea to remove her extra finger because there's no instrument nor any piano composition for six fingers — someone like her. It made her uncomfortable, frightened, and fearful that people could change her parts without acknowledgment and permission. Years swiftly passed and she's slowly discovering more about herself; later then, her mother told her "the biology that led to her existence" — which was an egg slipped down to the fallopian tube. She made it sound as if she had been a mindless blob that upon entry into the world she took on a personality shaped through her parents' guidance.

Well, the excerpt is nice. People back then were still conscious about their appearances and others' appearance. And if they saw something odd to others, they easily put their nose in someone's business which is not right, right? I mean do their physical looks affect you and your life in the slightest? Does their appearance hurting you and step you like dirt? Why bother their appearance? Can't you just accept what happened to them and who they are? People back then and people now don't have differences. Why? People back then were conscious what their appearance back then heck even now!

I know someone that dislikes himself, but then I'm always by his side telling him that there's nothing wrong with him. People may think that something's odd with him but nothing's odd with him. I always tell him that “be who you are and don't pay attention to what they're saying. Love yourself and we as your friend and supporter will always love you no matter what you look to others. Free yourself from all your doubts. And don't let others tell you how to tie your lace cause they're not in your shoes. Be humble and play it cool. You only live once so why bother them?” and because of our continuous reminders, he now is an unbothered person. He doesn't care what others say wrong with him. He's being himself; showing his true color to others and still humble.

All we need to do is accept if there's something wrong with the people we love and we care about. Don't make them feel lonely just because they are not the same like us — they are normal, just like us. Encourage them to show their true color and be with them until they reach the confidence they need. Well, this story is a lot! I didn't even notice that I'm sharing one of my friend's stories yet still nostalgic! And yeah, maybe this is my cue to end this not-so-long-boring blog lol. I hope that this blog of mine helps you boost your morale and I'm always believing in you Amigos y Amigas! That's all for today and have a great day y'all!

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wozenswozen · 4 years

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6ixth blog

Do icons exist in the world today ?

ENG3U2-03 Keedon Cokely

Icons Essay Jozen-Dell Adato

Mar.03.20 Alan Cheriyan

An Icon is a person who takes a stand for what they believe in and represents growth and positive change in the community. Lebron James, Colin Kapernick, and Serena Williams are some of the most influential athletes of this century. Many people around the world have made references between them and Muhammad Ali, one of the biggest icons to ever live. Each of these athletes have positively affected the people around them with their influential actions. It is clear that these athletes share some of the same fundamental characteristics of any well known icon. It would be appropriate to say that icons do exist in the world today. Through their positive influences and their legacies, it is demonstrated that these athletes are icons.

Lebron James is an icon because of his positive influences on his community. In an interview lebron spoke about how growing up he didn’t have much and he knows the struggle the kids are going through now.“ Everything these kids are going through - the drugs, the violence, the guns, everything they're going through as kids, I know. For me to be in a position where I have the resources , the finance, the people, the structure and city around me - why not?”1 it is appropriate to say that Lebron is not just a superstar athlete, but an idol in the eyes of young children. A lot of children are going through the same unfortunate conditions Lebron once did. With all that Lebron is starting to do for the community, children living with unfortunate conditions are now given an opportunity that would be considered as life changing. Lebron understands what it’s like to live in a environment of struggle, and now how’s the ability to impact many young lives. Also he can be an image of hope and inspiration to many young kids around the world. In a speech announcing the opening of a school Lebron speaks about what ultimately motivated him to make this happen. “I want people to know that these kids should still have the same opportunity as everybody else. That’s what’s most important. Us as adults, we have a responsibility to not let these kids down, to continue to be the teachers, the mentors, the parents, the coaching, the life skills, the superheroes ... whatever it is that gives the inspiration, everything, that’s our responsibility. These kids are our future and they have dreams and aspirations bigger than the city of Akron, than the state of Ohio, than the USA.”2 It can be seen that not every kid will get the same opportunity as one anothrter. As an adult lebron feels it's not just his responsibility, but everyone's responsibility to give these kids an equal opportunity. In the NBA there are many athletes who fundraise and donate to charities, but nobody except lebron has opened up a new school to give kids a free education and a new opportunity to their life. Not just young children aspire to follow in the steps of Lebron, but because of him, multiple super star athletes are trying to have a positive change in their community. Many kids look up to adults as role models and leaders we inspire to be like. With Lebron being one of the most well known basketball players on and off the court, it is clear to say a lot of kids see lebron as more than just a basketball player, but as an icon though his positive influence on the community.It can be said that Colin Kaepernick is an icon because of his efforts off the field.

Colin Kaepernick is an icon because he stood up for the rights of himself and others by kneeling down during the anthem even though it jeopardized his career. Throughout history many people of colour went through lots of difficulty, whether it be discrimination or abuse. Colin delivered a speech in the Netherlands where he had expressed his concerns over the situation he was in. “As police officers continue to terrorize black and brown communities, abusing their power, and then hiding behind their blue wall of silence, and laws that allow for them to kill us with virtual impunity, I have realized that our love, that sometimes manifests as black rage, is a beautiful form defiance against a system that seeks to suppress our humanity”3. (New York Times, 2018) Colin knelt down during the anthem to silently fight against the abuse of police, racism and the injustice people of color have had/ currently have to endure throughout their life. There have been many instances where officers have abused people of color because of things like fear and protection. Even though they act abusive, the fact that they have laws and their own occupation itself to back their actions up, there are not many problems or consequences that arise from their conduct. When the coloured people retaliate or question these actions, it is seen as rage or anger. People essentially want coloured people to regret their actions and not express opinions. For Colin’s case, coaches, the media and even the President of the U.S was against his actions with Trump saying that he should be fired and lose his career. Throughout his career, Colin aimed to be a hero, hero’s often have specific goals that they aim to achieve. ‘’Kaepernick has one main goal: he wants people to be better than he was. To be treated fairly. To address and work to fix oppression. Heroes, written or real, plead for a better future’’4. (SB Nation, 2016) Although kneeling can be seen as a disrespectful act, that was not the intention of the quarterback. He realized the many problems that were prevalent in the community he was in and wanted to fight for change and improvement. He aimed for people of colour to be treated fairly with respect which was something that was almost never a thing in the past but is slowly becoming prevalent in this current day. Even though Colin was treated unfairly for his conduct, through his actions he hoped for other people to receive the respect he never gained. While fixing the oppression many had to endure in the process. Overall it is acceptable to say that Colin just wanted a better and fair future for all those who are coloured and treated disrespectfully. Overtime demonstrating that he is an icon. One could also say that Serena Williams is considered to be an icon through her efforts.

Moreover, Serena Williams is an icon not only because she is one of the world's greatest tennis players, but because she is a symbol for young girls all over the world, and she represents equality in sports between men, women and people of all races and religions. An article from ‘The New York Times’ describes her as and her sister (another professional tennis player) as a symbol for feminism. “The newcomers represent various races and nationalities, but women of color have been especially inspired in a sport where finding their likeness used to be rare.”5 It is clear that in the modern world there are few recognizable coloured female athletes. Many young girls around the world look up to Serena Williams. After witnessing all that she has accomplished in the past, young girls can feel encouraged and inspired to become great athletes, as well as strong independent women in a male dominant world. She is also a symbol of strength and power for black women to look up. In a sport where black women are the minority, Serena Williams has dominated for many years. She has shown not just to black women, but to black men as well, that race is irrelevant if one has the strength and determination to accomplish great things in life. The same article explains how Serena Williams was able to create opportunities for future female athletes. “The struggles and slights that the Williams sisters have endured have made it much easier for the next generation of players, like Taylor Townsend, Sloane Stephens, Madison Keys, Naomi Osaka and now Coco Gauff, to find a place of favor in a white-dominated, elite sport.”6 Her contribution to the sport paved the way for future athletes of various ethnicities to dominate in a white male dominated sport. Serena Williams is different from the average tennis player in the sense that not many other tennis players are icons. The population of globally recognized female athletes is scarce and aspiring female athletes don't have many role models to look up to. Serena Williams is a public figure that young women around the world can look up to and feel confident in themselves and their abilities. Women of colour can especially feel confident that they can do just as well as any man or woman of any race or religion in whatever they do in life. In a mostly white dominant sport, Serena Williams changed the perception that tennis is a white man's sport. Seeing her and other coloured female tennis players has brought fans the realization that anyone can be a professional tennis player, if they work hard enough. Prejudices regarding female coloured tennis players have slowly started to disappear, allowing many more aspiring black female tennis players to play professionally. Serena Williams is an amazing athlete who has one of the most recognizable names in all of women's sports. Regardless of when she chooses to retire, people all over the world will still remember the legend of Serena Williams for many years to come.

It would be appropriate to say that icons do exist in the world today. Lebron James is an icon because of his positive influences on his community.Colin Kaepernick is an icon because he stood up for the rights of himself and others by kneeling down during the anthem even though it jeopardized his career. Serena Williams is an icon not only because she is one of the world's greatest tennis players, but because she is a symbol for young girls all over the world, and she represents equality in sports between men and women. It would be suitable to say these three athletes are icons.

Worked cited

1+2 Dator, James. “LeBron's New School for at-Risk Kids in Akron Shows He's Bigger than Basketball.” SBNation.com, SBNation.com, 30 July 2018, www.sbnation.com/nba/2018/7/30/17629560/lebron-james-i-promise-school-akron.

3 Hoffman, Benjamin, and Talya Minsberg. “The Deafening Silence of Colin Kaepernick.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 4 Sept. 2018, www.nytimes.com/2018/09/04/sports/colin-kaepernick-nfl-anthem-kneeling.html.

4 Madu, Zito. “Colin Kaepernick Is Doing What Heroes Do.” SBNation.com, SBNation.com, 5 Sept. 2016, www.sbnation.com/2016/9/5/12795542/colin-kaepernick-heroes-national-anthem-captain-america-nfl.

5+6Hunter, Tera W. “The Power of Serena Williams.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 7 Sept. 2019, www.nytimes.com/2019/09/07/opinion/serena-williams-us-open-tennis.html.

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batch83 · 4 years

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Well done, you!

An LSE Journey Essay

Looking deep into ourselves to find our real motivation can be hard especially when everything around us have been going by in a blur. Our true purpose, should we ever find it early, tend to get lost somewhere between making a living, paying the bills, raising kids and running a hundred different errands. Before you know it, you're well into your middle age and wondering where did the last 10 years go. It is in this age that I started to question what my endgame is.

I was born in the North to Ilocano parents, raised in Metro Manila and educated in both private and government institutions. I majored in Architecture but majority of my work is in another discipline. For the past 13+ years in Singapore, I worked, and mostly enjoyed, working in Civil Engineering specifically in Geotech where we do a lot of underground works for tunnels and transport structures. Such a badass feeling for a female to actually do this in a predominantly male field! I left the Philippines not because there was a pressing need to provide. On the contrary, I have a stable but boring job in the city. I was surprised when I got the call from a foreign headhunter that, at the prospect of new adventures and since there's nothing to lose (they paid for all the expenses anyway), I relented and went along to see where'd I'd end up. Fortunately, fate has been good.

Being a migrant worker for most of my youth can be quite unsettling. I have all the time in the world in a new environment full of possibilities, earning a decent disposable income and not saddled with pressing responsibilities. When you're new in a foreign land, the allure of all things shiny are very tempting. It's these times that I went on a spree, a moderate one by standard, but to an Ilocano it's a spree nonetheless. Year in and out, I accumulated stuff that I liked and like to share with my family. But as my belongings grew and lugging them from one rental house to the next becomes harder, I thought "there must be more to gain in living here than this".

Enter social media.

I spent numerous hours scrolling, clicking and just wasting time away but it's an upside that I saw an A-LSE sponsored seminar on one of the shared posts. At this point I'm already indoctrinated in the concept of financial management by another OFW (also an admirable Fin-Lit and Social Enterprise advocate) and seeing the A-LSE program page with all the bright faces of the students, my curiosity was piqued. What is this group that makes people come together and learn new stuff to improve themselves? The FOMO (fear of missing out) is strong and I had to join in on the fun. I finally got in a year after putting my name down on the waiting list.

And so, the grind begins.

The program started with self-introspection -- who are you, what makes you get up in the morning, what's your mission -- its wading at the rubbish and finding the bits that radiate sunshine. It's the equivalent of doing the Marie-Kondo in your life and removing the clutter.

As a parent, my goal is to give my child the tools and opportunities that will enable him to achieve good things in life. Not great, but good. I can only lead him to the starting line, I will leave it up to him to finish it in ways he sees fit. Of course, to be able to do that I will need the financial capacity to provide for his primary needs but also to be there emotionally to support and guide him in his decisions. My goal is to show him the dignity in working and the joy of doing good, to impart the values I've learned from my parents, to have fun and appreciate the arts.

As a sibling, my goal to help them finish their tertiary education has been fulfilled. My siblings are now enjoying their chosen professions and has now embarked on new pursuits to ascend to the next level. Next is to help them map out their financial plans for the future -- that's a tactic to make them financially independent and not borrow money from me.

As a daughter, my goal is to see my parents enjoy the latter years of their lives and to help them come into terms that they need to step back and let their children take on the responsibilities on managing their estate.

As a person, my goal to become an instrument of change in however small way I can manage. Running for public office seems the easiest route but as I have no death wish and plan to live a longer-ish life, that's a no-go for me.

My goal is to achieve financial independence in the next decade, to establish my own enterprise, have enough to sustain my health coverage and retirement in the later years and leave a worthy legacy to my family. Lastly, I want to travel every year or every other year to places that are culturally rich and ‘gram worthy.

The 10 sessions have brought immense knowledge and insight about the core competencies of the LSE program. Journals have been written to provide a deeper insight for each session.

For Leadership, I find Tina Liamson's lecture on Migration & Principles of Leadership enlightening. The most fascinating has got to be from Dr. Juan Kanapi's Appreciative Inquiry. This is the first time I've heard of it and it's quite difficult to grasp the idea and can be easily confused with positivity. But at the end, It shows that if practiced AI is not just mind tricks but a powerful tool in realising your full potential.

The best lectures for Financial Literacy are the split sessions of Vince Rapisura and Edwin Salonga. (Edwin's lecture is about Social Entrepreneur but I remembered a lot more on his lecture about Finances, hence…) Who knew studying finance concepts could be this good? And most definitely not boring! I now have a deeper understanding about managing my finances better and learning that my current insurance is shit, which I really need to rectify soon. I can't tell you enough how the things I've learned from these wonder duos are gold. Call me by any other name (read: biased), but Ed's lecture is my most favourite of the lot.

The Social Entrepreneurship sessions have the most gravitas for these lectures carry the main core of the program. They're not all boring, mind you, but can be a bit challenging. The lectures on this series provided many useful tips for future entrepreneurial endeavors and is a big help in formulating our business plan. Other insights for the SE series can be read here and here.

At every journal writing, I try to reflect on what I've learned and think of ways to apply them in my daily life. Most often I find things and events that need to be tweaked or heavily redesigned in order for it to be aligned with my future goals. Most pressing of these are the consolidation of my assets and liabilities, and making a clear plan on mapping out my finances that will include my son's future education. The next point is to work on myself and how I carry myself as a leader starting at home. What better place to practice than to apply these learning in the household first? Hopefully, I will be able to improve my inability to forge meaningful connections to people by the time I have to build my own enterprise. I am not aspiring to be Miss Friendship, I'm ok with Miss Effective Boss or even Miss Influencer-For-The-Greater-Good. Tall order, I know, but we're allowed to dream and dreaming is free.

Joining the program made me realise the answer to my question, "So what happens now?"

During my first few years as a migrant worker, my goal is to save so I can buy gadgets to connect me home. After having a mobile phone, a laptop and the ability to call home any time, ano na? As I enter my 14th year of being a migrant, I've somewhat been able to achieve the things I hoped for. Not the millions of dollars in bank account **fingers crossed**, but a comfortable life. But that restlessness persists. Learning that there are available avenues to pursue these in the Philippines is a big help in making me step into the right direction closer to the things I wanted to become. Programs like these give hope. With that, I realise that there is more I can do back home than where I am currently at. I have the knowledge; I can share it -- starting with a small group of like-minded people who are willing to help themselves. Acquiring and sharing knowledge is free so I may as well start with that.

All the sessions have been audio recorded and kept in a cloud that I shared with family members. Many of the things Dr. Kanapi said are the things I so want to say to my father. Sharing it is just a click away, let him hear it straight from the board-certified horse's mouth.

I also plan to lead the residents in our small sitio towards a better understanding of financial management which can be instrumental in their livelihood. These people have been known in the family for decades. They have worked alongside our grandparents in tilling the land and their children continues to do so. While there have been advancements in their lives, I believe there is more to be done -- better education for their children/grandchildren, opening bank accounts, accessing government programs, using tech etc. I am excited to share with them the different concepts we have learned in the program, and also a good training ground for me to improve my leadership skills.

I highly commend the A-LSE program for striving to make the Filipino Migrant Workers' quest for relevancy and better lives. Much appreciation to A-LSE founding Team and the current secretariat who makes it run smoothly. The past month has been very trying but everyone has been great in providing feedback and extending their hands. For that, a big Salute! to everyone -- for the team and the speakers who traverse the globe every year.

As a program alumnus, I will most definitely uphold the values of the LSE in the best way that I possibly can. Sadly, my physical involvement with the LSE will not extend to the volunteer work for the next batch as I have made plans for the next year that will make it impossible to fulfill my duties on the site . However, I am willing to extend my skill/expertise in whatever way I can as long as it is done remotely.

Thank you, A-LSE.

Congratulations, Batch 83!

2019 will be remembered as the year I turned another leaf over.

#ALSE Singapore #My LSE Journey #ALSE Batch 83 #Ateneo OF-LIFE

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