Tumgik
#Google chrome not opening up
motherdrita · 2 years
Text
Google chrome not opening up
Tumblr media
#Google chrome not opening up install#
#Google chrome not opening up windows 10#
#Google chrome not opening up software#
#Google chrome not opening up windows 8#
Before you start troubleshooting this problem with the listed methods, you’d better try doing the following operations at first: You can find out some of these factors when you follow the solutions in this article. Why is Gmail not loading in Chrome? Actually, the reasons for it are various. This is a common issue that might happen while users are trying to open Gmail. However, plenty of users have reported the issue of Gmail not loading in Chrome. Gmail, a free email service developed by Google, embraces a huge number of worldwide users.
Fix 2: Clear Cookies and Cache of Your Chrome.
Here, MiniTool puts together most of reported solutions for you. If you are one of these who are facing this problem, do not miss this post. dll files, you can always choose to backup it on a safer location before deleting it.Gmail not loading in Chrome is a rather common issue for users. Once you permanently delete the chrome.dll file, you can relaunch the Google Chrome and use it to browse the internet as usual. Resetting the Chrome settings will usually fix most of the known problems in Chrome. You need to permanently delete the chrome.dll file here and relaunch the Google Chrome to reset the settings to its default. Usually Google Chrome stores all it’s settings on the chrome.dll file located at “ C: > Program File (x86) > Google Chrome > Application >.
Relaunch Google Chrome to start using the browser.įew times Google Chrome won’t open or load because of the corrupted settings file.
Click Apply and then OK to apply the changes.
#Google chrome not opening up windows 8#
Choose Windows 8 or your previous version of Windows from the drop-down list.
Enable “ Run this program in compatibility mode for” checkbox.
Right-click on the Google Chrome icon on the desktop and click on Properties.
#Google chrome not opening up install#
If you are in hurry and has no time to download and install the update, here are the steps to make the Google Chrome compatible with the older versions of the Windows operating system: Deleting the user profile is a risk as it deletes all the above-mentioned data and you can not recover them unless you sync them to your Google account. The user profile of Google Chrome stores all your browsing history, bookmarks, extensions, cookies etc on your hard disk. Search the Google Chrome app under the Name column and ensure both Private and Public checkboxes are enabled.Search for “ Allow an App through Windows Firewall” in the search bar of Windows and select the Best match.Search for the Google Chrome Program Path “ C > Program Files (x86) > GoogleChrome > Application > chrome.exe” and change the access to “ Allow“.įor those who do not have an Antivirus installed and still Google Chrome won’t load or open on their device, then you should check the Windows Firewall setting as mentioned below:.Click on Configure… located to the extreme right of Program Rules.Go to the settings of Firewall Protection.Open Quick Heal Total Security and go to Internet & Network.
#Google chrome not opening up software#
If you have any other antivirus software installed on your machine, reach out to their customer support to find out the relevant steps for your tool.
After uninstalling Google Chrome, download the official and latest version of Chrome here and run the installer file to install Chrome again on your Laptop or PC.įor instance, here is how you can remove all security exceptions for Google Chrome in Quick Heal Antivirus.
Follow the on-screen instructions to completely uninstall and delete Chrome from your device.
From the list of all installed software, select Google Chrome and click on Uninstall.
#Google chrome not opening up windows 10#
If you are Windows 10 users, search “ Add or remove programs” in your Windows search bar and select the best match.For most of the user, this can be a solution to fix Chrome not opening issue.įollow the steps mentioned below to uninstall Google Chrome from your device: Deleting the Chrome and installing it again will reset the Chrome settings to default and might fix any kind of Chrome issues. The most basic thing you must first do is uninstalling Chrome from your device and then reinstall it. Well, whatever the case may be, here are the troubleshooting steps to follow when Google Chrome won’t open and isn’t launching at all.
Tumblr media
0 notes
gontagokuhara · 23 days
Text
switched tabs so i dont do any naughty data breaches but baby. baby kitty please mommy is trying to make bread this is very unhelpful positioning
Tumblr media Tumblr media
10 notes · View notes
thebusylilbee · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I agree that pretending that Firefox is 100% as powerful as Google Chrome is dumb but honestly if you're out there opening more than 80 tabs at the same time then the problem is actually objectively coming from you and not Firefox you absolute degenerate
53 notes · View notes
pxrxmoore · 10 months
Text
out of the depths of fuckin nowhere while running a fever last night my torchwood obsession was re-awakened within me. and also apparently livejournal still exists and people still post there???????
2 notes · View notes
evadingreallife · 1 year
Text
Me, browsing on my phone: *opens tab*, *opens tab*, *opens tab*
My phone, in tears, about to collapse:
Me: *opens tab #341*
3 notes · View notes
loveryss · 1 year
Text
sims 4 is just straight up unplayable for me right now 🙃 it lags so bad 
5 notes · View notes
fleshmouth · 2 months
Text
If I open one more window my computer will explode
1 note · View note
larnax · 6 months
Text
tbh im only so pissed at this bc i could instead be referencing something like this
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
ms-demeanor · 8 months
Note
any thoughts on the new post that staff went scorched earth on which is now making the rounds abt tumblr live? it basically screenshots all the tos and claims if you've ever opened the app (or in some rbs, unsnoozed live) tumblr has gotten your data. on the one hand i feel like this is fearmongering, but on the other its true that MOST sites have your data as is so its pretty standard. you seem pretty knowledgeable abt data gathering so i was wondering abt your take
This is going to be pretty unkind but watching tumblr users interact with staff and live is a great primer on how conspiracy theories happen.
Nobody on this fucking website knows how to read a ToS, nobody on this website knows how anything fucking works (sorry, this is not a dig at you but how would tumblr "get" your data from you clicking or unclicking live; the only data that tumblr has on you is the data that you have put on tumblr what data do people think that clicking the "new" button is scooping up that is anything beyond interactions or posts or IP addresses which are the things that tumblr already has information about like you do not introduce new information into the tumblr ecosystem by clicking a button you haven't installed anything you haven't changed permissions on your browser if everyone is so goddamned scared about live stealing their data i strongly recommend they stop using anything but public internet through an anonymizer and making sure location data is shut off on all of their devices and anyone who is flipping their shit about the type of data that live is collecting but who is using chrome on any device needs to chill the fuck out about live and flip the fuck out about google)
this is like that post about twitter's content policy that circulated the other day or that post about deviantart's content policy that circulated ten fucking years ago nobody knows how to read legal documents and nobody knows how to read technical documentation and this comes together into unholy matrimony on the no reading comprehension at all moral panic website
live never violated the GDPR it was just rolled out in the US first but the entire userbase decided that because it hadn't been rolled out simultaneously in the EU and the US that it was SO UNSPEAKABLY PRIVACY VIOLATEY THAT THE EU HAD BANNED IT FOR ITS CRIMES with, like, nothing whatsoever backing that up because, again, even at its most intrusive Live collects about as much data as Twitter or Yelp, both of which are *capable* of meeting GDPR standards with that level of data collection (even if musk sometimes makes decisions that violate GDPR).
Live is significantly less intrusive than any facebook product, than Amazon, and than any Google product. If you use youtube logged in, don't worry about live, the horse is out of the barn and tumblr is the least of your worries *regardless* of live. If you regularly use Google as a search engine please god learn how to evaluate and compare risks across platforms because Live is like a coughing baby compared to about a dozen things that most highly online people interact with every single day.
If you don't want to use live don't use live. Clicking the button doesn't magically transfer your secret FBI file to tumblr and even agreeing to the ToS doesn't share anything that tumblr doesn't already have if you don't continue to interact - if you don't interact with live after agreeing to the ToS it's not collecting any data except your non-interaction.
For everyone who is losing it over Live just turn off your goddamned location on your fucking cellphone and turn off your location on your goddamned computers and that's it, you're good, you're fine, relax. If your response to "turn off your location" is "but I need it for _____" then don't worry about Live, whatever "_____" is was already collecting and selling your data.
Do you use an activity tracker? Congrats, you have much, much bigger privacy issues to worry about than tumblr live.
Okay but also I yelled about that post and the very many ways in which it was incorrect in January.
And I happened to take an archive of the page at that time because I'm a paranoid motherfucker.
And if you want my guess as to why staff went "scorched earth" on that post it's probably because if you scroll down to the bottom of the page on the archive, OP calls on everyone looking at the post to send a kind fuck you to the CEO then tagged his tumblr.
If you look at the other posts that went scorched earth in relation to tumblr staff they were also posts that very pointedly directed a lot of ire at a single staff member.
I don't think that any individual tumblr staff members are above criticism and I don't think that staff as a whole is above criticism but part of learning to read a ToS is understanding that someone can be shitty and vague and use TERF talking points and skirt the line and be technically okay under the ToS while someone can have a legitimate gripe about another user being horrible and manage to violate the ToS by accidentally spinning up a harassment campaign or suicide baiting someone.
Shitty people like nazis and terfs thrive on being edge cases. They are very good at finding a boundary and standing juuuuuuuuust on this side of it and going "la la la I'm not violating the ToS, you can't stop me!" and that blows and it leads to a lot of people encountering a lot of shitty stuff on a lot of websites but personally I'm pretty glad that there's a lot of gray area because when you cut out gray area that's when you see things like It's Going Down getting banned as extremist content alongside white supremacists. Please continue to report nazis and terfs, and when possible go deep into their pages to report because a pattern of behavior is more likely to get recognized as hate speech than a single post that gets reported a hundred times. Please block as many people who it's harmful for you to interact with as possible because it's clear that staff is not going to do the kind of work protecting users that users would like staff to do.
However I just can't get angry on behalf of a blogger who got nuked for saying "Hey everyone who hates this feature that we all hate please go tell the CEO to fuck himself at this URL specifically" - that is an extremely clear violation of the ToS because it is absolutely targeted harassment.
So now tumblr-the-userbase is going off on its merry conspiracy way skipping through fields and lacking reading comprehension and saying "users are getting banned for reporting the crimes of tumblr live and its gdpr violations" and ignoring the fact that the post was nuked because the last line was saying "hey everyone, let's all individually tell the CEO to fuck off in messages sent directly to him that are certainly not going to include any threats, exaggerations, gore, etc. etc. etc."
If I were to make a post that had 50k notes and the last line was "and while you're at it, please send tumblr-user-ms-demeanor a personalized message telling them why they're a terrible person so they know what we think of them" it would absolutely be reasonable to say that was harassing that user. And that post did it with the CEO. Who is not above criticism (and I have my criticisms! I don't think he really gets tumblr and that's a problem!), but jesus fucking christ don't tag the goddamned CEO or any other staff member in a call to action asking users to send them messages saying "fuck off" this is literally the stupidest thing I've ever seen a tumblr conspiracy theory coalesce around.
Anyway thank you for giving me a place to vent i've been getting more and more pissed about this for three days. Everyone feel free to kindly tell tumblr user ms demeanor to fuck off.
9K notes · View notes
encominternational · 1 year
Text
at one point i had 14 tabs of the tron 2.0 wikipedia page open because i kept opening it. forgetting i had it open. and then opening it again. its not helpful for what i’m doing right now anyway.
0 notes
teabree-shark · 3 months
Text
Attention! Google is officially removing their cached page function.
Tumblr media
It was never about helping you, it was always about controlling and moderating the flow of information.
Tumblr media
We grew up being told "if you say something online, it's there forever!" But, in recent years, the trend is more openly "if you say something online, it will be there only as long as it's profitable." Stray from the ruling norm and you're suppressed, stray from profitability and you're tossed away.
Of course they're pushing for a shutdown of the Internet archive, cached sites, and open forum posts. Why let you access information for free, when instead they can gate it behind a proprietary app and charge you for access?
Tumblr media
Never rely on a corporation to ever help you. Never rely on a business to hold your interests at heart.
Also keep in mind: Google is blocking adblockers in the chrome manifest v3 update slated for June of this year.
942 notes · View notes
the-king-of-lemons · 3 months
Text
I know a lot of people on qsmpblr use Tumblr mobile, but if you do use browser Tumblr then I would recommend the Simple Translate extension. Because Tumblr doesn't have built in translation like Twitter, there's less fans posting in their native language, instead most people just use English.
Simple Translate is an extension that allows you to translate text that you highlight into a target language. (It uses Google Translate API, but so does Twitter so the translation quality is pretty much the same).
Firefox Extension | Chrome Extension
Tumblr media
When you highlight text in another language, a translate icon appears, when you click on it a panel containing the translation of the text appears.
Tumblr media
You can also change the settings of the extension so that the translation panel automatically appears when you highlight text in another language.
Tumblr media
Here's some more examples using the official QSMP Twitter accounts, you do not need to change the settings of the extension to translate from different languages into your target language.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(All of these match the translations given when using the "translate bio" button on Twitter directly.)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You can also access a translation box using the icon in the toolbar, any text you enter can be translated to the language selected in the drop-down menu (meaning you don't need to open a new tab to use Google Translate).
Some settings explanation and other stuff under the cut. Not super important but I figured I'd add it anyways.
Tumblr media
There is an option to use DeepL API as opposed to Google Translate (it's another translation tool, there is free access to the API with a limit of 500,000 characters/month, and a pro version for unlimited access).
Whatever the target language is set as is what text you highlight will be translated into. There is another option for a second target language, I'll explain that further down.
Tumblr media
This option changes how you view the translation panel, the first option (default) has the icon appear when you highlight text (as seen in the first image of the post), the second option has the translation panel appear automatically when you highlight text, and the for third option the panel and icon won't automatically appear, but can still be accessed by right-clicking the highlighted text and selecting "translate selected text".
The checkbox below these options means that if the text you're highlighting is already in your target language, the translation icon and panel will not appear, it can again still be accessed by right-clicking what you've highlighted and selecting translate.
Tumblr media
This option appears twice, in both the Web-page section (for translating selected text) and the Toolbar Popup section (for the translation box in the toolbar popup).
The web page option, when toggled on, means that when you select text that is in your target language, the translation panel will translate into the second target language that has been selected. If the checkbox for "do not display if translation is not required" is toggled on, you can only view the translation from Target -> 2nd Target by right-clicking to translate selected text.
The toolbar popup version of this option is used to automatically switch the language in the toolbar translation box when you input something in your main target. (ie. second target set to French means that when you input English text in the translation box it will switch the translation setting from "(detect language) -> English" to "English -> French").
There are also settings to change the style and size of the translation button and panel.
Side note: Mixed language messages (not containing your target language) will only translate one of the languages, you can work around this by highlighting the different languages separately.
Links again if you don't want to scroll all the way back up
Firefox Extension | Chrome Extension
786 notes · View notes
commodorez · 9 days
Note
Why Firefox?
Firefox isn't trying to take away my ad blocking software, forcing me to wade through advertisements to traverse the web. I rarely have to stop and put up with ads in my day to day browsing experience. Google has made it very clear that they don't want you to have that power.
I'm very used to a specific UI in my browser, and I'm able to tweak Firefox to my needs. I don't use tabs when I'm at home, and being able to eliminate the tab bar can totally be done with Firefox (I won't elaborate on that here). However, there are many other things I can add to Firefox to improve my experience!
You know how sometimes you want to download an image on a webpage, but you can't right click on it, or it's hidden behind another element? I've got a Firefox tool for that called Right-click boroscope.
Don't want scripts to load in on a page, and cause havoc? Firefox has me covered again with NoScript.
I want to immediately reverse image search something I find regurgitated here on tumblr, in search of the original? There's a TinEye extension for Firefox to do that and save time.
For using tumblr more efficiently, there's XKit Rewritten. In Firefox.
Sick of Youtube's shitty search suggestions, and shorts being pushed? There's a Youtube Search Fixer add-on for Firefox for that.
I've also got the Wayback Machine integrated into Firefox.
The thing is, whatever reasons I enumerate to use Firefox, there are another hundred good reasons that other folks can add to this list no problem.
In some ways, it sucks that I should have to make so many modifications to my web browser to make it suitable for taking control within the modern webscape, but it also says alot that I have the freedom to make those modifications to my browser should I so choose. At work I'm forced to use chrome, and even though I'm only browsing ad-free internal corporate pages to get my job done, I still can't stand that experience.
We should be free to control our web browsing experiences. If a company finds a mantra like "don't be evil" too restrictive, maybe I don't want to help perpetuate their advertising machine (and don't think for a second that chrome isn't part of said machine). The web is supposed to be this free and open place, and it sure as hell isn't helped by browser monoculture. I really don't like the idea of supporting a monopolistic browsing experience that is the sea of chrome clones. Everything else seems to have turned into another chrome.
Fuck that noise.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So I will continue to use Firefox.
472 notes · View notes
dnfao3tags · 10 months
Text
Finding Deleted Fics: A Multi-Method Guide
Tumblr media
i feel like we are the fandom who needs this post the most any fandom has needed it ever.
all of these methods require you to know the title, author and/or link of the fic.
[disclaimer: the fic i am using as an example is not deleted, i just can't think of any other fics to use as an example right now.]
Method #1: Wayback Machine
this is my go to method that i always try first.
steps:
every fic on ao3 has a url of archiveofourown.org/[specific-numbers]. you're gonna need that url, doesn't matter if it doesn't work anymore.
eg.
Tumblr media
2. now you're gonna go to archive.org and enter your url in the search bar.
3. something like this will come up. it probably won't be saved as many times though, just once or twice.
Tumblr media
just click any of the links now, either the dates marked blue on the calendar or the earliest/latest date. that's it.
drawbacks:
often, a problem arises when searching for fics rated mature or explicit.
Tumblr media
the site will have archived this page but not the actual fic. though, maybe lady luck is on your side and clicking proceed will lead you to a saved version of the actual fic. but usually not. and not all fics are saved here. in those cases, i have some more methods.
Method #2: Search Engine Cache
search engines like google and yandex often save a cached version of sites, though yandex is much more reliable than google. i'll give you a tutorial for both.
steps (yandex):
the link isn't completely necessary, just the title and author of the fic will suffice.
go to yandex.com and search for your fic by either entering the url or entering the title and author as such.
Tumblr media
3. this will probably immediately come up.
Tumblr media
just enter the captcha and it should let you in on the first go but there's a glitch i've encountered where you could be entering the captcha completely correct but for some reason the site still won't let you in. for that, you just have to keep trying again and again until eventually the site lets you in. might take more than 10 tries.
4. once you're in, search results will pop up. directly clicking them will only lead you to the not found page. what you're gonna do is hover over the box of the search result and you'll see 3 dots pop up on the right.
Tumblr media
click those and a dropdown menu will appear. click the first option 'saved copy'.
and thats it! this is a much more efficient method especially for explicit or mature fics.
drawbacks:
for some reason, when i open yandex in google chrome, i can't see the 3 dots. i can in firefox though. don't really know what thats all about.
i'll show you how to do it with google too just in case yandex doesn't work.
steps (google):
in the url bar, type cache:[link of fic]. that's pretty much it. google doesn't have a lot of fics saved though so you'll probably get a 404 page.
Method #3: Reddit
there's a subreddit called r/DeletedFanfiction that can probably help you out. either search for the fic as it may have already been posted or req it and someone will probably get you a google drive link soon enough. u/throwthisaway11112 is my lord and savior.
afaik it's still up and running fine despite the reddit protest thing (which i recommend taking a minute to look into).
Method #4: Archive.org Database
okay, now you're gonna need a lot of memory on computer for this one. i'm not gonna even bother and try to explain it, i'll just link you to the original post. thank you once again to the anon who sent me this method!
Method #5: Fandom
if absolutely none of those methods work, you can still just send me an ask and maybe my followers or i will have a saved copy. same for any other fandom, i recommend asking around in popular fandom spaces, someone is bound to have it.
1K notes · View notes
autolenaphilia · 9 months
Text
Why enshittification happens and how to stop it.
The enshittification of the internet and increasingly the software we use to access it is driven by profit. It happens because corporations are machines for making profits from end users, the users and customers are only seen as sources of profits. Their interests are only considered if it can help the bottom line. It's capitalism.
For social media it's users are mainly seen by the companies that run the sites as a way for getting advertisers to pay money that can profit the shareholders. And social media is in a bit of death spiral right now, since they have seldom or never been profitable and investor money is drying up as they realize this.
So the social media companies. are getting more and more desperate for money. That's why they are getting more aggressive with getting you to watch ads or pay for the privilege of not watching ads. It won't work and tumblr and all the other sites will die eventually.
But it's not just social media companies, it's everything tech-related. It gets worse the more monopolistic a tech giant is. Google is abusing its chrome-based near monopoly over the web, nerfing adblockers, trying to drm the web, you name it. And Microsoft is famously a terrible company, spying on Windows users and selling their data. Again, there is so much money being poured into advertising, at least 493 billion globally, the tech giants want a slice of that massive pie. It's all about making profits for shareholders, people be damned.
And the only insurance against this death spiral is not being run by a corporation. If the software is being developed by a non-profit entity, and it's open source, there is no incentive for the developers to fuck over the users for the sake of profits for shareholders, because there aren't any profits, and no shareholders.
Free and Open source software is an important part of why such software development can stay non-corporate. It allows for volunteers to contribute to the code and makes it harder for users to be secretly be fucked over by hidden code.
Mozilla Firefox and Thunderbird are good examples of this. There is a Mozilla corporation, but it exists only for legal reasons and is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the non-profit Mozilla foundation. There are no shareholders. That means the Mozilla corporation is not really a corporation in the sense that Google is, and as an organization has entirely different incentives. If someone tells you that Mozilla is just another corporation, (which people have said in the notes of posts about firefox on this very site) they are spreading misinformation.
That's why Firefox has resisted the enshittification of the internet so well, it's not profit driven. And people who develop useful plugins that deshitify the web like Ublock origin and Xkit are as a rule not profit-driven corporations.
And you can go on with other examples of non-profit software like Libreoffice and VLC media player, both of which you should use.
And you can go further, use Linux as your computer's operating system.. It's the only way to resist the enshitification that the corporate duopoly of Microsoft and Apple has brought to their operating system. The plethora of community-run non-profit Linux distributions like Debian, Mint and Arch are the way to counteract that, and they will stay resistant to the same forces (creating profit for shareholders) that drove Microsoft to create Windows 11.
Of course not all Linux distributions are non-profits. There are corporate created distros like Red Hat's various distros, Canonical's Ubuntu and Suse's Opensuse, and they prove the point I'm making. There has some degree of enshittification going on with those, red hat going closed source and Canonical with the snap store for example. Mint is by now a succesful community-driven response to deshitify Ubuntu by removing snaps for example, and even they have a back-up plan to use Debian as a base in case Canonical makes Ubuntu unuseable.
As for social media, which I started with, I'm going to stay on tumblr for now, but it will definitely die. The closest thing to a community run non-profit replacement I can see is Mastodon, which I'm on as @[email protected].
You don't have to keep using corporate software, and have it inevitably decline because the corporations that develop it cares more about its profits than you as an end user.
The process of enshittification proves that corporations being profit-driven don't mean they will create a better product, and in fact may cause them to do the opposite. And the existence of great free and open source software, created entirely without the motivation of corporate profits, proves that people don't need to profit in order to help their fellow human beings. It kinda makes you question capitalism.
849 notes · View notes
instacarma0798 · 3 months
Text
Title: and I'm your best friend (but your a killer)
Ship: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
[A/N this was meant to be a short one shot and then I got carried away lol)
The last thing Natasha wanted to do was bother you, not after you had done so much for her and she was always disappearing under the guise of work. Despite that, she was knocking one your door with bruised knuckles and a small duffle slung over her shoulder that felt heavier than it should.
Slowly, the door opened and she was met with your face that was pinched with worry. You furrowed your brows at her, and despite the unusual time you appeared wide awake.
"Natalia," unlike all the other times Natasha had met you, your voice curt, "What's up?" Normally you would let her in without question and have her sit down while you made tea or hot cocoa.
"I need a place to stay," her mouth managed to form.
"Look-," glancing back inside with a sigh, your fingers twisted around the door handle tightly, "I don't know if I-"
"Please, I'll be gone by morning," she cut in, her body begging to rest. There was no where to else to go for her, with SHIELD down she had no base.
SHIELD had been her base, the closet thing to home - not that she ever stung around somewhere long enough to develop a home. But all her belongings, other than a few at a couple safehouses, where gone. Her apartment on base was gone. Sam's house was most likely not undisclosed information anymore and she couldn't go with Steve, he was never good at espionage.
You pressed your lips together in thought, face more taught and worried than it had ever been.
"Fine."
The door was widened slightly to let her in and Natasha stumbled into the apartment, her legs carrying her over to flop on the couch where she usually slept. You had bought a pull out for her years ago when she continued to crash at your place time after time.
You entered the area holding a white box stamped with a white cross. Uncharacteristically silent you sat on the coffee table across from her, quietly mumbling for her to remove her shirt. Bandaging her wounds, your hands worked with an unfamiliar harshness. Whenever she came to you with wounds, you never asked questions accepting the answer from the one time where she told you she worked as a security guard.
Tugging harshly at a wound around her bicep you tore the end of the bandage off before slapping another onto her cheek. She scratched at the irritable , itchy material against her cheek, watching as you left the room for a moment.
Her eyes wandered from the hallway you retreated to towards the desk sitting in the corner of the room. Against her gut telling her not to, Natasha peeked at the open computer emitting a soft light. Pulled up in a google chrome browser were some of the files she had released, files on her. You had read the files.
In her 8 years of knowing you, Natasha never once told you about her past. She let you know her as the redhead who spilled coffee in the middle of a cafe. You had grown to know her as the woman who mysteriously showed up at your house with cuts littering her face. Her impression on you was as an adult who worked as a security guard and didn't have a family to go to.
She re-used her old name when around you. When she became an avenger, you didn't question how she looked like a female superhero on TV - it was a blessing Natasha had managed to mostly avoid the cameras.
But now you knew. You were everything she wasn't, Natasha didn't you to know about her life that was dripping with blood. Your eyes sparkled bright and smiled shimmered in contrast to her dark shadows. It was a secret she kept close to her chest, but it was out the window now.
Re-entering the room you followed her eye line to the computer, your lips twisting further downward. Natasha opened her mouth to speak in her defense, but you cut her off.
"Where you ever going to tell me? Or were you going to leave me in the dark Natalia? Or is it Natasha? Or Natalie Rushman? Nadia Vostokoff?"
Tears brimmed your eyes as you spoke, your voice cracking at the end.
"Y/N I was going to tell you, but you-" Natasha began, her voice surprisingly strong despite her stomach twisting into knots.
"I what? I was too innocent? Too oblivious? I'm not a fucking child Natalia! I deserved to know!" The clothes you had been carrying for her dropped to floor silently as you threw your hands up in frustration, "I deserved to know." your voice was quieter, a broken whisper as you repeated your statement.
For once in her life Natasha was at a loss for words. You had never acted out like this before, usually calm and quiet.
You took her stunned silence as a que to keep going, "I deserved to know my best friend had done all that," your hand flailed towards the computer, "You should have fucking told me!"
Her mouth opened and closed like a fish before she schooled her face and forced her mouth and brain to form coherent sentences, "I know."
"If you know then why didn't I?" you said.
"It never came up," Natasha shrugged, reverting back to her roots of diverting the conversation, "Can we talk about it in the morning? Please?" She gave you those wide eyes that always worked, and it seemed you knew she was manipulating you but regardless you sighed and plucked the clothes off the ground.
Crossing the room in a few short strides you dropped the clothes into her lap, the smell of your perfume flooding her nose. Without another word you stalked to your bedroom, heavy footsteps echoing with anger.
<__________>
Natasha was gone early the next morning without giving you a chance to talk to her about it. It was clear she wasn't welcome there anymore. Neatly, she had folded the clothes and set them on the counter with a note.
I'm sorry I never told you. I'll be out of your hair now.
-N.A
Her heart throbbed painfully and there was a twinge in her abdomen as she snuck out the window into the alley behind your house, the gravel crunching beneath her feet. There were only a few places she could go now. The Senate would most likely want her to give a statement, and despite that being the last thing she wanted to do, Natasha knew it would happen eventually.
Sure enough, the next when watching the news - the Senate was announcing that they wanted to know her where abouts so they could have her give a statement. Reluctantly, but hopeful for a chance to potentially clear her name, Natasha gave the stupid statement and walked off with a bang.
Tony approached her after that, pulling up outside with one of his fancy cars and acted like he was picking her up. Happy greeted her with a nod and pinched brows as he opened the door to the car. She slipped in, her heels nearly catching on the rim of the door. Sliding his classes down, Tony turned to face her with a wide grin.
"There's my favorite Russian Assassin," Natasha ignored the way her stomach churned at those words and focused on the car moving and the flashes outside, "So, I know that you need some where to go know and since I have a bunch of space leftover, you wanna stay at the tower? It'll be like old times."
Nothing ever came for free with Tony, but Natasha caught the caring glint in his eye and knew he just wanted to help. Grudging, she nodded her head - much to Tony's amusement as he grinned and slung an arm over her shoulder. She shrugged him off with a hard stare.
Life at the tower had been fine - Turns out Tony offered residence to Steve and Maria as well so they were both residing there (According to Maria she was merely working there, but Natasha had a suspicion Tony let her stay because of their minimal friendship). Bruce resided there. Natasha took one look at him, at his messy graying hair, dark eyebags and decided he would be an easy way to forget everything. Throughout that time she took up to flirting with the man. The usual enjoyment she got when she playfully flirted with you was not present when she did so with Bruce.
Over time, she kept tabs on you - watching as you moved out into the country and bought yourself a house and a truck.
Which led her to where she was now, knocking on your doorstep once more as Clint held her upright and the rest of the Avengers stood clustered behind her. Ultron did a number on them and it was reasonable Clint didn't want to bring everyone to the farmhouse. Despite not seeing you for a year, Natasha silently hoped you would help.
The door opened slowly, the movement conveying hesitance, and your tired face stared back. Dark bags half-circled your eyes and your hair was disheveled. A baggy shirt dangled off your right shoulder - which you righted once you caught sight of the group in front of you.
"Natalia?" the name was unwelcome at the time, but Natasha couldn't care to correct you, "Wha-?"
"Please, I know I said I'll be out of your hair, but we have no where else to go."
You exhale slowly, taking stock of the group before scrunching your nose and letting them in. Natasha barely missed tripping over a cat as she entered - a calico cat who bounded after you with excited meows. Scooping it up in your arms with a soft coo, you turned to face the group.
"Sorry about the mess," your eyes scanned over the group, entirely missing Natasha, "I never have anyone over so," a helpless shrug of your shoulders, "You guys can wash up upstairs, bathroom is first door the your right and there's an extra bedroom with another bathroom at the end of the hall. I'll make some dinner."
Natasha avoided you the entire time and they were gone the next morning.
<_________>
The next time she knocked on your doorstep was bruised and bloodied and with three companions. Yelena groaned behind her, the sound impatient and ready to rest.
"Sestra, is this person going to open the door or not?"
"Give her a minute Yelena, it's the middle of the night."
Eventually she knocked again, her bruised knuckles rapping against the door and a dog's bark echoing behind the door. Melina sighed impatiently behind her and Alexei let out an annoyed groan of exaggerated pain. When the rest of the group seemed ready to leave, even though Natasha knew you would answer the door (You always did), the door swung open - a dog's insistent barking still echoing through the house.
You looked worse than before with your eye bags deeper and skin paler. Sunken in cheekbones made you look like you were dying and your hair was messier than ever. Squinting your eyes you gently shoved the dog back into the house and stepped outside, closing the door.
"Natalia? What are you doing here?" your voice was scratchier than last time.
"We- um, we need a place to stay."
For a moment it looked like you would turn her away with the way your nose crinkled and eye brows pinched together with a sharp exhale. Thinking it over, you let them in with a tired sigh. Natasha took in the place, nearly the same as before aside from a few extra Monster cans littering the counter next to an open computer and dirty coffee cups lying around on a coffee table in the sitting room. You led them over there, having them all sit on the couch before flicking on a light.
"Alright," you placed your hands on your hips, a familiar sight, "I don't need to know who you are. There are two bedrooms upstairs, plus a blowup mattress in one of them, and the couch is a pullout. Split it up however you want, I don't really care. There should be some food in the fridge if your hungry," after giving them a once over once more you closed your eyes briefly and groaned, "You guys don't have a change of clothes do you? Fine, I'll be right back."
Before any of them could protest you were slipping on a pair of shoes by the door and snatching a pair of keys off the counter, the dog barking at you as you headed towards the door. Natasha caught the barest hint of a smile on your face you led the dog out the door to join you on your midnight errand.
"Who is that?" Yelena asked, her accent thick.
"....A friend," Natasha replied hesitantly, plucking at her suit, "We shouldn't stay here long."
Melina eyed her suspiciously.
"A friend?" Alexei guffawed, "Natasha she did not seem like your friend!" His loud voice echoed through the house.
"You three can have the upstairs rooms, I'll take the couch," Natasha ignored her fake father and ushered them all off the couch while she pulled out the couch. It snapped open with a pop and she found a fluffy blanket buried in a basket next to the couch.
Yelena was the only one remaining in the room, her skeptical gaze resting on Natasha.
"What Yelena?"
The blonde shrunk in on herself slightly at the harsh tone and Natasha forced herself to calm a little.
"Who is she?" she repeated her earlier question, this time with more persistence than before.
"A friend."
"Natasha, she did not seem to like you."
Natasha gave a one-shouldered shrug, aiming for indifference, but Yelena was a trained widow - trained to spot emotions even if you didn't want her to. She plopped down on the couch, her arms splayed out and peering up at Natasha with puppy-dog eyes, the one's the redhead often used on you.
"Please?"
Natasha huffed at her childish behavior, shoving Yelena off, "We had a falling out. She doesn't really like me anymore."
A thud echoed upstairs and Natasha's head snapped up before she raced up the stairs and burst into the first room. Alexei sat on the ground under Melina's patronizing stare. A cat - the same Calico as before - sat in front of them, it's back to the door. The creature meowed, inching forward towards the man on the floor who gave a shout and stood up, scrambling backwards. When Yelena entered and caught sight of the scene she burst out laughing.
"Are you scared of a котенок (cat)?" she asked teasingly, Russian accent even clearer through her amusement.
"That is a spawn of hell!" Alexei tried to defend himself.
In what Natasha assumed was an attempt to regain some of his pride Alexei aimed a small kick at the cat as it neared closer. The animal would have gotten launched into the wall had Natasha not scooped it up into her arms, ignoring the way the creature instantly burrowed into her.
"Alexei!" she screeched, "How do you think Y/N would react if you launched her cat into the wall!"
The man gave a sheepish shrug but still lifted his chin with pride. Yelena gave a shout of triumph next to her, pumping her fist into the air.
"What?"
"You gave me her name!" Yelena crowed, a bright grin on her face.
Smacking her fist on her forehead, the cat jumping out of her arms at the same time, Natasha groaned at Yelena's childish nature. She had given the blonde your name, which basically meant giving her your entire life story, but she figured Yelena would figure it out sooner or later.
You returned not soon after the cat incident, in that time Natasha had dug out Mac and Cheese from the pantry to cook for them, much to Yelena and Alexei's excitement. The cat, who she still didn't have a name for, paced around her feet, purring.
The crinkling of plastic bags alerted everyone of your return, and the sound of dog paws scrapping against the floor.
"Bosco! No! C'mon, crate!" She turned her head to see your arms full of plastic bags - Walmart bags - as you herded the dog towards a wooden crate sitting in the corner.
The dog promptly sat on it's rump, staring up at you with pleading eyes. You sighed and gave a shake of your head with a soft smile, "No, crate."
With a pitiful whine the dog turned and sulked to its crate, giving you sad eyes all the while. Once you had secured the dog you turned back into the kitchen, prompting Yelena to stop snooping through your computer and you set the bags on the counter.
"Ok," you pulled a can of monsters and some candy out of one bag before retrieving some basic groceries - milk, cheese, ham, bread, pasta - out of another, "I got you some clothes," you lobbed a bag at Alexie's head and slid another over to Melina, "Those two are for you, I wasn't sure what size Mr. Super Soldier over there needed," despite it being a joke Alexei preened at your comment, "and I took a god guess for the rest of you. Go get changed, I'll see if I can salvage Natalia's attempt at Mac and Cheese."
The redhead turned panicked towards her pot of water, it looked fine, but she had never the best at cooking. When the rest left the room Natasha hesitated, lingering in the entrance of the kitchen as you stirred the pot.
"What do you want Natalia?" turning around you leaned on the counter, arms crossed.
She wanted to know if you were ok. How you were doing. Why you looked so tired. If everything was well. What were your pet's names.
Instead she blurted, "Are you mad at me?"
You blinked owlishly at her for a moment before a sad chuckle left your throat, "Yeah, a little."
"Why?"
"Why?" you parroted, your eyebrows crinkling, "because I found out my best friend was a killer, and then when she promised to explain she left! Then you show up a year later with the Avengers, on my doorstep. Which I still have no idea how you found me. And then you don't visit at all after that before showing up with whoever those people are! Natalia I can't just be the person you come to when you need a place to hide, I have my own life!"
"Really?" she raised a brow, stepping closer, "because all I see is a broken girl. Have you seen yourself lately? You look half-dead. I wouldn't call that a life."
You scoffed, "Sorry that I'm going through some hardships right now with no one to turn to."
"Well it's not like you bothered to contact me either!" she exploded, her hands clenched into fists, "You think I didn't want to talk to you? Come here and have it be like old times where we had sleepovers that we were probably too old for?"
Both of you ignored the way the pot started bubbling over behind you, rather you took a step forward, chin tilted upwards. There was a staring contest between the two of you, a battle of wills. There had been fights between both of you before, one's that always ended like this - one's that Natasha always won.
Your lips started quivering and tears gathered in your eyes, but you held strong staring back at her defiantly. Natasha reached her hand up to brush away a tear that slid down your cheek but you slapped her hand away. Tension crackled in the air as you swallowed thickly and your bottom lips trembled more. A small sniffle escaped you and Natasha's heart broke at your obvious pain. You always hated confrontation, taking care to avoid it.
"Y/N," she reached a hand up to cup your cheek, pulling it back when you flinched.
Your head dipped down, "I have cancer Natalia," you whispered, the words nothing more than broken sounds.
Going from defiant to sad gave her whiplash but Natasha stared at you stunned, and suddenly your frail appearance made sense. The sunken in cheekbones, pale skin, shaky movements, the way your long-sleeve shirt clung to your bony arms.
"You what?"
"I have cancer," you repeated, continuing on her raised eyebrow, "breast cancer. Stage 4. Doctor didn't give me long to live."
She was at a loss for words. What were you supposed to say to someone who told you they had cancer? Once more she reached for your cheek, gently cupping it when you didn't pull away. You leaned into her touch, albeit hesitantly. Your eyes slipped closed.
Slowly Natsha leaned in, your lips millimeters from yours and she could hear your ragged breathing. She stared down her nose at your lips before gently pressing a kiss onto them. Your eyes snapped open, wide and disbelieving, but you didn't pull away - rather pressing in further. Her hands moved to your hips as she deepened the kiss. Your lips were soft, as she always had imagined, and she caught a whiff of your gentle perfume.
You pulled away first with a dopey smile on your face, "I've wanted to do that for a while."
"Me too," she whispered.
An un-lady like snort escaped you, "With the way you were looking at Banner last time?"
She twisted her lips, "Don't ruin the mood."
You let out a little laugh, the sound soft and angelic to her ears. She leaned in for another kiss and you were about to meet her halfway before a loud voice interrupted the moment.
"A friend!" Alexei exclaimed, "I see you were lying Natasha!"
You jumped away from her, much to Natasha's dismay, with a rosy blush on your pale cheeks.
"Alexei!" Natasha hissed, "Leave her be."
"Aww," Yelena cooed from behind him, her blonde hair let down and flowing past her shoulders, "Natasha has a girlfriend."
Your fiery blush was a welcome sight accompanied by your embarrassed laugh.
<__________>
Everything didn't go back to normal after that. The argument that had been going on for years was not shoved under rug. You had ended up confronting her about the next morning.
"Natali- Natasha," you fiddled with the sleeves of your shirt, "Can we talk?"
Internally Natasha cooed at your shyness before nodding and following you out the backdoor, greeted by the sound chickens.
"Look, I know that last night it might have seemed like we shoved it under the rug but I still wanted to talk about a few years ago. Because I deserved to know, y'know? And-" your voice cracked a little in the middle of your rambling as your face tilted downward, "And I was hurt. You were my best friend but it turns out you were lying to me all that time and then I had to find out through the internet. Natasha that- that hurt and-"
She placed her hands on your waist, effectively cutting you off and leaned in to give you a kiss, startled when you shoved her backwards.
"No," your voice was firm despite the small tremble in it, "You are not kissing your way out of this."
Natasha huffed, mainly frustrated at herself for reverting back to an old tactic before crossing her arms. Then uncrossing them, recrossing them, before eventually letting them drop to her side.
"Look- Y/N I wanted to tell you I did," she raised a finger at your raised eyebrow and open mouth, "No. Let me talk. I was going to tell you, but you were so...you were everything I wasn't. You were sweet and kind and caring and oh so innocent and I didn't want to ruin that. You were one of the first people to really care for me in a long while and selfishly I didn't want that to change."
"I didn't care that you had done all those things Natasha," unconsciously you pulled your arms around your waist, "I cared that you didn't trust me enough to tell me."
"I did trust you," she stepped closer, gently grabbing your hands in hers - ignoring the way you tried to pull away before taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
She released one of your hands to cup your chin, gently tilting your head up. Your beautiful eyes were rimmed with tears and your bottom lip stuck out in a small pout. Tugging you towards her, you buriedyour face in Natasha's neck.
"We good now?" she whispered.
"Yeah."
Natasha held like that for a moment, awkwardly rubbing her hand up and down your back.
"You still have to explain the people in house though Natalia."
<________>
They were gone.
Wanda, Bucky - all of them. They just went poof. The News was calling it The Blip, some calling it The Decimation. Half the population of the world was gone. She stripped her suit, the thing covered in dirt, and stepped into the cold shower, letting the water run over her bruised body.
All she wanted was to wash up and return home to you. In the past years, she had taken to moving in with you - after finding Steve and Sam and freeing Wanda. You had welcomed the other's into the house as well and your place became somewhat of a home base for them. When Steve and the other's weren't there, Yelena used the place a base to house widows or as a rest stop.
Natasha took up residence permanently there and it was the best part of her life. She loved spending that quality time with you and wanted nothing more than to fly home and snuggle up with you in your bed and watch movies.
The only downside was your cancer wasn't getting any better. Natasha shivered, and not from the cold water, as she stepped out. You got worse every day put still put on a brave smile for her and gave life your all.
She glanced at her phone when a new notification popped, the message an unknown number. No one had her number aside from you, her family, and the avengers. Hesitantly she opened the message, giving it a once over. She read it again. And again. And a fourth time before dropping to her knees, a sob building in her throat.
We are sorry to inform you Ms. L/N has unfortunately passed away due to stage 5 breast cancer.
While part of her was touched that she was your emergency contact the information broke her. You were gone. You were gone and she wasn't there for you. Natasha promised she wasn't going to do as much superhero stuff, spend time with you instead, and the one time she was gone you died.
Natasha cupped her hand over her mouth when she got another message pop up, this one from a Yelena's phone.
This is Ana, a widow Yelena was planning to free. She got blipped.
The sob nearly tore it's way out of her throat as she blinked back tears. This is why she wasn't supposed to care. She wasn't supposed to love. She wasn't supposed to feel. But Natasha Romanoff learned to feel and care and love and it had broke her.
Natalia Romanova may not have cried, but Natasha Romanoff did and she had just lost nearly everyone that mattered.
239 notes · View notes