#Grow back edges

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[kedreeva]

saw a monarch butterfly on a milkweed plant for the first time in my life and it was like seeing a little legend play out before my eyes

#butterflies #personal #I mean in my head i know this happens all the time #but somehow I have never seen it #we have been cultivating milkweed along the edges of my yard #we never use pesticides #I have never seen a monarch here #we have a lot of others but never monarchs #and then i see a random one in a suburb #on a milkweed growing in a garden like a weed #nature just finding a way I suppose #maybe I should order some eggs and raise them here once our milkweed is a little more established #I wonder if that would work #or if their little hardwired genetic memories would just send them back to where the eggs originated

[macroglossus]

actually really genuinely makes me so incredibly sick and sad to think of s1 will, who was terrified and losing his mind and no one helped him, especially not the people that he trusted. that line he has that goes "sometimes, at night, i leave the lights on in my little house, and walk across the flat fields... when I look back from a distance, the house is like a boat on the sea. it's really the only time i feel safe." and i think about how scared he was and how he had to leave that person behind, because he would've died, and in that sense he really died anyway

#hannibal #and it's hard because i do like hannibal as a character! and i know that's really what the show is about i.e showing that he doesn't have #the same morals as regular people and he sees will as incredibly vulnerable and with incredible potential. so he targets that potential #and will did grow into that dark potential! but in doing so he had to basically leave a significant part of himself behind #but he was SO SCARED. and completely alone except for his dogs. because every single person around him just wanted something from him #and he was losing his mind! i know in a diluted sense how incredibly hard it is to understand that youre acting crazy and understand that #everyone around you is losing their patience. and so he turned to hannibal. and hannibal betrayed him in really the worst way possible #because he wanted to see what would happen. agh. #and he walked to the edge of the trees anyway and turned back to his little house like a boat and felt safe. FUCK #what im saying is that it really isnt fair but there was no world in which it wouldve been fair really. even a world without hannibal #because the world isnt fair to will graham

[little-red-fool]

Lord give me the strength to not bleach my hair.

#ive been contemplating it for over a year but god the thought of doing a MGS cosplay is pushing me towards the edge #it probably wouldnt even suit me but mmm impulsively dying me hair to do a Kaz cosplay #even if i wanted to i probably wouldnt be allowed because my familys always like ‘nooo dont dye your hair i really like your natural colour #like same but i get bored lmao #‘you’ll keep trying to dye it back to auburn’ ☝️🤓 no ill just grow it back out because i hate haircuts and i cba to colourmatch

[lesbiangiratina]

I like… 90% love testament’s strive design but the hair length nerf is unforgivable to me

#its only like… mid-back… it used to be around their hips Sometimes longer. #yeah sure theyre probably just maintaining it better. since it grows super fast. #no more blunt edges either. makes sense. ​like i see the vision. im just insane. it was so cute #the kat goes meow

[hannahwashington]

okay yeah im gonna start being abnormal again. have you guys heard that i am fucking obsessed with time loops

#the fact that ive only written ONE fic w it... i should do an until dawn time loop. #wish i knew more movies that utilised them too i only know FOUR and one is a SEQUEL #(groundhog day. day after tomorrow. happy death day + 2u) #which is to say if you have recs lmk #ANYWAYS. THEYRE SO. OOUUGGAAAHHHHHH. THEYRE SUCH A DELECTABLE CONCEPT. #SUCH A DELICIOUS STORYTELLING DEVICE #guys when they see someone endure the same horrors over and over and over again trying so hard to break free in vain #whether those horrors are being stuck in an average town you couldnt care less for or a killer stalking your every move #but in the end they learn. they grow. they come to love the mundane. learn the name and life of every person in that town. #come to find love in an unexpected place. a softness you would have rejected before it all started. #and it is through this growth that the curse is broken. through love. IT ALL CIRCLES BACK TO LOVE BABY FFFUCKING HELL #yeah im very normal about them :) #EDIT WAIT FUCK NO ITS EDGE OF TOMORROW. THOSE ARE VERY SIMILAR MOVIE NAMES OKAY

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[thedreadvampy]

I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?

like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life

#red said #it's not to my taste. tbh #content aside pop music is going through a very early 2000s breathy oversinging phase #hated it with xtina and alanis hate it with ariana and olivia sorry #it's a personal taste thing but to me however hard you go with the backing track that kind of soft pretty vocal style kind of #drags it back into midtempo sludge for me #also tbh it's just extremely normal music. like i went over to her yt bc people were talking about how Weird vampire is #it's not though????? it's super not???? #anyway the only one I've got anything out of is good 4 u cause she sounds more involved and less self-pitying on it #every other Olivia song I've heard sounds kinda the same bc they all have the same earnest self-pity vibe #which is what a lot of people need out of music! music that makes them feel the depth of their anger and sadness! #but idk it's never done it for me i like there to be something of a tongue in cheek or a hysterical edge #i think most of the songs I've heard from her are just too controlled and polished for them to not sound to me #like she's the person who sees you crying cause your partner is in hospital and goes YEAH I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL #MY EX CHEATED ON ME 5 YEARS AGO AND IT REALLY TRAUMATISED ME AND I'M STILL NOT OVER IT and then you have to comfort her #like i recognise she's a 20 year old making music for teenagers so that is. appropriate. #but i struggled with the wallowing then too. were i a Teen at school with Olivia's character i would be so desperate to tell GROW UP #and it's not the lyrics it really is the music #heartbreak is a perfectly good theme to write on but oh my god not every song about it needs to be a mouthful call to arms

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

Shawl 11 | Yarn 1 | Yarn 2 | Pattern

I kinda forgot this project existed for a bit. But it's a lot easier on my injury than my other, larger projects so I'm happy to have found it again.

This is more of a Process Knit than a Product Knit so I wasn't really fussed about how I couldn't figure out a good way to make clean edges on brioche. However I kinda stumbled into a much better way than what I was doing before (which was like, slipping the first stitch purlwise and then immediately jumping into brioching even when it meant knitting/purling into the same stitch under it).

Instead! I'm always slipping the first stitch purlwise. Then the next two stitches are treated like kinda like double knitting (if it's a colour A dominate row, I'd slip the first stitch [colour A] purlwise, bring my yarn to the front and slip the second stitch [colour B] with yarn in front, then bring the yarn to the back and knit the third stitch before bringing it forward again to s1yo. For colour B on that row I would slip the first stitch [A] purlwise, slip the second stitch [B] purlwise like another selvedge stitch, keep the yarn behind and slip the third stitch [A] before bringing the yarn to the front to being briocheing with brp1). Probably not the most efficient way but I could NOT get my tension to work for those first couple stitches, this instantly looks better (the red marks on the second and third images point to about where I started doing this method instead of winging it).

#knitting #knitblr #wip #knit brioche #project: shawl 11 #we're renovating our back porch/sunroom and i wanted to knit out there because it's suddenly very nice #and it just happens this project is wayyy more portable than anything else lmao so i picked it up again #the notes on how i'm doing the edges are really for me its enough for me to remember how to do it #if i cared more/had more energy i would frog this whole thing so the edges are less ugly #but honestly it's just fun to knit. at least some of the ugliness will block out. reknitting it would not be fun. #i love my coral looking ass shawl <3 brioche is so much fun #i should finally knit the brioche blanket i own yarn for but i just gotta. do other projects. #when will i spontaneously grow two more sets of arms so i can knit twice as much #i also purposefully picked the uglier side to show the difference in how the edges look #the other edge of the shawl looks like. not great but not awful. but the Drama of the Uglier bit #ugly with full affection lol i love when things are fucked up looking. my favourite gender.

[corpsentry]

baby’s first stabbing

#tumblr feels like a safe space bc everything that grows here is already dead so tattoo time #i’m trying not to be that person on my personal that tells everyone about my tattoo so i’m not doing that #but being online is precisely for telling everyone about yourself so here is mine: got a tattoo #lay there for 3 hours straight hanging over the edge of the table knitting and chatting with my artist #and now i have a bird. much to think about #i am procrastinating on this commission. i will go back to it now (bye) #gelmo

[heavensmoisture]

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[beanie-twink]

This time I got some sleeping at last recs for you!

Before I started compiling them I was convinced that it was mostly gonna be angst again, but honestly? I think this might have the highest amount of happy songs (4/7) I’ve recced you so far lmao

1. Mercury

→ we’re still gonna start with the angst tho

→ at first I was gonna say this feels a lot like anthony post leaving smosh…

but honestly? 

I really feel like it fits both of them pretty well during that time

“Rows of houses sound asleep

Only street lights notice me

I am desperate if nothing else

In a holding pattern to find myself”

“I talk in circles, I talk in circles

I watch for signals, for a clue

How to feel different, how to feel new

No one can unring this bell

Unsound this alarm, unbreak my heart new

God knows, I am dissonance

Waiting to be swiftly pulled into tune”

“I'll go anywhere you want, anywhere you want

Anywhere you want me”

(-> doesn’t really fit that time, but it still hits so hard with them imo)

“I know the further I go

The harder I try, only keeps my eyes closed

And somehow I've fallen in love

With this middle ground at the cost of my soul”

-> this part being about why Anthony left smosh and also kind of feeling like Ian "betrayed" a part of their soul by being willing to stay even though the content wasn't as good/connected to them as it used to be

(like obvi he doesn't think that way anymore, but I am soooo curious about what will be in that letter and I feel like it could be something along those lines)

2. North

→ literally their journey through the years 

-> like from the start of building smosh until the rekindling and working together again

“We will call this place our home

The dirt in which our roots may grow

Though the storms will push and pull”

“We’ll tell our stories on these walls

Every year, measure how tall

And just like a work of art”

“A little broken, a little new

We are the impact and the glue

Capable of more than we know

We call this fixer upper home”

“With each year, our color fades

Slowly, our paint chips away

But we will find the strength

And the nerve it takes

To repaint and repaint and repaint every day”

→ especially this part is so!!!

“Smaller than dust on this map

Lies the greatest thing we have:

The dirt in which our roots may grow

And the right to call it home”

3. East

→ both of them reminiscing on the past and when they first started creating videos together

“I set out to rule the world

With only a paper shield and a wooden sword

No mountain dare stand in my way”

“My kingdom towers above it all

While I sleep safe and sound in my cardboard walls”

“Now I bear little resemblance to the king I once was

I bear little resemblance to the king I could become

Maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids

Lord, I wanna remember how to feel like I did”

4. West

→ Ian’s POV both during the “between years” and I also kinda see it as him reassuring Anthony that they will work things out together

“Maps stretched out

Too many miles to count

Let's just say we're inches apart

And even closer at heart”

“Another pin pushed in

To remind us where we've been

And every mile adds up

And leaves a mark on us

And sometimes our compass breaks

And our steady true north fades”

-> just the idea of both of them kind of thinking of the other as their compass/the person that gives them a sense of direction in life

-> and back to vidcon also as a reference to Ian loosing his "magnifying glass"

“We'll be just fine

I just know we will”

“Time moves slow

When half of your heart has yet to come home

Every minute's adding up

And leaving a mark on us

I can't get you out of my mind

I solemnly that I'll never try”

(I am so normal about the last part of this song, I swear! *sobs*)

5. I'll keep you safe

→ again, them reconnecting and deciding to create videos together again 

“I'll keep you safe

Try hard to concentrate

Hold out your hand

Can you feel the weight of it?

The whole world at your fingertips”

“Don't be, don't be afraid

Our mistakes, they were bound to be made

But I promise you I'll keep you safe”

“You are an artist

But your heart is your masterpiece

And I'll keep it safe”

“As you build up your collection

Of pearls that you pulled from the deep

A landscape more beautiful

Than anything that I've ever seen”

→ this part just reminds me a lot of the whole sun/magnifying glass conversation as well, if that makes sense? 

6. Light

→ the reconnection, mainly through Anthony’s POV; except for the orange line which was literally Ian when Anthony left

“May these words be the first to find your ears

The world is brighter than the sun now that you're here

Though your eyes will need some time to adjust

To the overwhelming light surrounding us”

“I'll give you everything I have

I'll teach you everything I know

I promise I'll do better

I will always hold you close

But I will learn to let you go

I promise I'll do better

I will soften every edge

I'll hold the world to its best

And I'll do better

With every heartbeat I have left

I will defend your every breath

And I'll do better”

“Cause you are loved, you are loved more than you know

I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so”

7. Seven

→ I listen to the album this is on a lot but somehow this song always slipped past me before

→ but in connection with Ianthony?? hits so good istg

→ the final and (imo) happiest song on this list 

→ literally them right now, just being so excited about being best friends and working on smosh videos again <3

→ especially Anthony’s POV (mostly fueled by all the vidcon content)

“How nice it'd be if we could try everything

I'm serious, let's make a list and just begin

"What about danger?" So what? "What about risk?"

Let's climb this mountain before we cross that bridge!”

“'Cause I'm restless

For whatever comes next”

“How wonderful to see a smile on your face

It costs farewell tears for a welcome home parade

A secret handshake between me and my one life 

( →  them just doing the friendship high-five over and over again)

I'll find the silver lining no matter what the price”

“'Cause I'm hungry

For whatever comes next”

“But I want to be here

Truly be here

To watch the ones that I love bloom

And I want to make room

To love them through and through and through

And through the slow and barren seasons too

I feel hope Deep in my bones

Tomorrow will be beautiful”

“And I'm ready

Restless and hungry

For whatever comes next”

Honourable mentions: 

(As in not accurate enough for a whole song analysis for them, but some of the vibes are there) 

(These two especially leaning more towards the anxiety that Anthony has talked about) 

Neptune 

Pluto

Always gotta start with angst also I HAVE NEVER HIT TAG LIMIT B4 THIS IS WHAT YOUR RECS DID TO ME

#mercury ruined me #wallpaper-inside-my-heart you’ve done it again #‘I’ll go anywhere you want me’ and I’m supposed to be sane #‘the harder I try only keeps my eyes closed’ makes me think of like them trying so hard to make it work back then but not realizing #That they need to grow apart for a little #so like that part is like Ian #ALL OF NORTH IS SO THEM REBUILDING #can I just say east starts out so good that piano medley is so beautiful #EAST IS SO EARLY SMOSH CODED #AND….'the years wore on and changed my heart' is how they changed while making smosh and how Anthony lost sight of that start #‘we’ll be just fine’ in west oh okay I’m losing my mind #even just the title of ‘I’ll keep you safe’ is enough to make me lose it personally #Anthony being like no we can do it we can create again!!! and showing Ian when they have that first writing session #‘don’t be afraid’ SHUT UP RN. #not a single hehehe moment in the building rn #DARKNESS REWRITTEN BY THEIR REUNION. #‘your heart is a masterpiece’ my god please I’m gonna fall to my knees #‘the world is brighter than the sun now that you’re here’…I need therapy rn #‘I promise I’ll do better’ STOP?!?!?!? #‘I will soften every edge’ Anthony when he let go and stopped being bitter and angry #‘your eyes will need time to adjust’ bc they spent so much time apart #GIVE YOU EVERYTHING I HAVE. #OP PLEASE #DEFENDING EVERY BREATH. #YOU ARE LOVED?!)/&:&/@2 #you connecting the part in seven to the handshake IM SICK #THE WELCOME HOME PARTJSKAJSJSJD #‘I want to be here truly be here’ good fucking bye #literally Anthony #ianthony song recs

[obessivedork]

I got so caught up in the euphoria of new Star Trek that I forgot SNW has some of my least favourite writing of the new shows. I think I’m frustrated with it because there are so many aspects I SHOULD like! On paper I SHOULD like this show more than I do! I just do not vibe! :(

#Happy for everyone who loves the show so much god I wish that were me #tagging for my own blog's sorting system not here to be a dick #it is only dethroned by season 3 of PIC for my least favourite writing #but. STOP TALKING ABOUT GENETIC MODIFICATION STAR TREK. IT HAS NEVER BEEN GOOD. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN BAD. ALWAYS. #EVEN THAT ONE BASHIR EPISODE THIS IS A HOT TAKE I WILL TAKE TO MY GRAVE #(but there are other things that are good about that Bashir episode) #It's too nuanced and difficult of a topic to handle in a 45-60 minute episode. It really is #Children should never be blamed for the sins of their parents etc etc but it is SUCH a double edged sword #what they did with La'an was neat I guess. something something facing ancestral ghosts that put guilt on your shoulders #Like at least this guilt and trauma isn't entirely needless like the Gorn shit #It makes sense that a descendant of HIS would have complex thoughts and feelings. Just wish it was a descendant of a DIFFERENT #genegic augment from Earth's history. Makes the universe feel SO SMALL #The La'an episode got me reluctantly back into being willing to see where they're going with everything because it was a decent episode #I mean I'll watch the Lower Decks episode no matter what but I was hoping the show would grow on me more this season #and it still hasn't really #There are fun elements (Funky old engineer lady! Still mad about killing off the season 1 guy but she's fun! I'm so gay for Ortegas) #I want to like this show more so bad! :( #but I'm just overall not vibing :( #star trek #snw

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

DJ Lethal keeping it lit at the house party

"Sour" - Limp Bizkit

#I had a multi-color round rotating dance light in my room growing up that I got from selling school chocolates #and man oh man did I used that crap out of that thing with my best friend as we had make-shift dance offs in my room lol #and this just brings me back to that simpler time #anyways back to Lee... digging this whole vibe #I've always been curious as to what that long slappy doo-hickey thing-a-ma-bobber is at the edge of his turntables. #maybe one of ya'll can enlighten me if you know. for all I know it's a musical stapler lmao but I'm fucking dumb like that so whatever lol #DJ Lethal #Limp Bizkit #nu-metal #House of Pain #Music Video: Sour #Showin' mad love for the Dee Jay on DJ Lethal Thursday #down the rabbit hole

[thebirdandhersong]

@imissthembutitwasntadisaster thank you for recommending Charlie Bone :') continuing on with my ongoing procrastination (rage, rage against the dying of the light by procrastination is really a terrible approach to school stress, but it happened), I finished the audiobook for book 1 today while crocheting myself an orange stomach warmer and really enjoyed it!!! (Both the book and the crocheting.) Was quite astounded by how strongly Jenny Nimmo puts across "choose to do good in a world so fraught with evil--there will be so much opposition and at times much peril, but it is a just, necessary, and joyful task"....... was really touched by the development of Charlie's friendships.

#emma and charlie go back to the school! #i was on the edge of my seat for the last quarter of the book #also jenny nimmo's writing is just as gripping as i remembered #i didn't grow up with charlie bone but i DID grow up with her snow spider trilogy #and i read those books over and over and over again because something about them was so deeply compelling #anyway thanks grace!!!!! :D #reading adventures #slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21

[scribe-of-hael]

*sees the same person reliking the same post*

I am thinking ppl don't know that I see them do that

#Its the same person #Every time #I find it funny tbh lol #Its for my writing requests #Mostly for x reader #Every few days or a week they come back and re like it #I am on the edge of my seat #Will they ask me #Will they keep re liking it ? #The mystery grows