#I HAD TO IVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER TO DO THIS

[darlingod]

Jude Duarte in The Queen of Nothing ♩ TV

I put on Survivor just to watch somebody suffer.

Maybe I should get some sleep.

Sinking in the sofa while they all betray each other.

What’s the point of anything?

#sorry it’s so dark lol #I HAD TO IVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER TO DO THIS #it’s ugly but I always do red so idk #had to switch it up #the cruel prince #jude duarte #won’t be doing it again #the wicked king #cardan greenbriar #queen of nothing #tfota #the folk of the air #tcp #twk #qon #jurdan #editt

[weirdbabs]

i go into the dungeon meshi tag. i see one of the top posts is someone misinterpreting the fact that senshi’s favorite food is hippogriff soup to be bc he really loved the taste and can now eat it without fear that he would have to kill a dwarf to eat it again rather than the actual intent that the soup, which had no seasoning, tough meat, and just water as its broth, was his favorite bc despite how horrible it was it was now forever tied to the relief he felt when he realized the soup was actually monster meat. i promptly leave the tag

#do you know. how many times ive just been out doing something. like driving to the store? #and the thought ‘senshis favorite food is hippogriff soup’ has hit me like a brick wall?? #its horrible food he could improve on it if he wanted but his favorite will always be plain boiled hippogriff soup. #bc it will forever be tied to one of the happiest memories he had #oh wait i just went back to check and saw who posted it and. i like and respect her analysis generally but. shes Wrong #if. IF. the question/answer had been before he learned then that interpretation would be right. but its NOT

[minglana]

i technically went to a therapist today and i have. so many thoughts

#i went to a therapist in the way that he studied psychology. but hes the dorm director. he saw i was. not doing good this week so he asked #and i basically had an impromptu theraphy session before lunch🤪 #anyways he basically encouraged me to leave the dorms. GIRL that is scary no thank u. but he also said he was gonna keep up w me #and ask me if im studying especially for my drivers license. which. oh my god😭 ive been waiting for someone to like. give a shit and ask #and hold me accountable (idk if im expressing that correctly) for studying. FOR FOREVER hopefully this is gonna be the push i need #and hes also gonna help me look for an activity to do in uesca so i can actually make friends. lol😭😭😭 anyways im gonna cry bc like. #no one has actually sat down w me and tried to help me like this in forever. there were some dorm workers w whom i had a good relationship #and i talked w them and they knew abt my problems. but they didnt try to help me in this way i think. like idk man. he also acknowledged #that i usually relate more w grownups (only-child things🤪) and that that was good! but he also said i needed to actually have relationships #w ppl my age. god hopefully this will help..... #z xarre

[electric-plants]

every single time i see a character i love using that randomly has stupid low talent levels i get SO confused until i realize - every SINGLE time - that they’re a mondstadt character and i’d rather eat a rock than do that domain

#genshin impact #im doing it for diluc today and i want to attack something #it’s so ANNOYING #how do you fuck with stamina and make 8 million fucking icicle circles #attacking and killing the world rn #ive been slowly and regretfully doing that domain so much lately #to catch a few of my mondstadt characters up #and i hate it so bad #so so SO bad #but on the bright side my diluc is finally doing like kind of viable damage now bless #can’t wait to leave him at whatever talent levels he ends up with today for forever #i did it like four times and i need like a month long break from this domain i s2g #thank every god every single day that the sumeru talent domain is actually fun #i would simply die if i had to do mondstadts as much as i do sumeru’s #genshin talent level 1 run fr

[gibbearish]

its interesting to think abt how honestly im probably lucky / better off specifically because my case is more on the technically severe side. like even way before i had a name to do research on, my shit was like a brick wall so i knew /something/ had to be off basically as soon as i learned about how its supposed to work. and then in having penetration never be on the table at all meant i got to avoid forcing myself through painful sex because i didnt know any better and has made it easier to take my time in the therapy cause im like "eh ive been fine without it this long its no biggie". its funny how that works out

#like most disorders a more severe case = a worse time but this one might be an exception? #idk maybe im grasping at straws here #either way i have mad respect for ppl with mild cases idve been put off of this shit forever if i hadnt known ahead of time #for all of this stuff #like my attempted pap smear i was able to tell them it probably wouldnt work even with their smallest speculum beforehand so they #didnt try to get me to just push through it at all‚ she tried twice and barely got anywhere so was like 'ok do you want a referral we can #technically wait a couple years on this test' #whereas from what ive heard had that not been the case theres a good chance i wouldve gotten the good old 'eh #it hurts for everyone' thing and felt the same about this as i did my wisdom teeth removal i was awake for

[1980ssunflower]

god how are my husbands the most amazing men in the world

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙 #tape entry circa 1980 #everyday i feel so unbelievably lucky to have them in my life #i feel so lucky to have them love me... and to always reach out to me to remind me of that #ill love them till the day i die ill always remain completely faithful and devoted to them both #they make me the happiest man in the world and because of them i feel like life has at least some meaning to it #they make me happy to just exist rn #i just hope one day i can really run into their arms and be embraced by them both #and we can live the rest of our lives happy and in love making music together #recently while thinking of them ive cried a lot more than usual #about how badly i need them always and how theyre mine and im theirs... how we were made for eachother #how the 3 of us were always meant for eachother and only eachother #i can feel it. that day i saw them i knew it was fate that brought me to them #i felt i had been waiting my whole life to find them and that they had been waiting for me too #i knew that moment would change my life forever #and it really did yknow #because of them i learned what love is and got to experience what romantic love FEELS like #i just love them so so so much more than any words could ever begin to describe #id trade my life for them i would do ANYTHING and everything for them both #i love them... i love them i love them my entire heart / mind / body / soul belongs to them #i give them my everything and they give me everything they are in return

[mrs-kelly]

Feels like I’m not gonna stop gushing about him until I go to sleep. I mean I told you I missed him all day and I’m not kidding shfjfl

#how do I put what I’m feeling into words. #it’s so much more than just feeling like he undersstands me #I have a real passion for him. I’ve never felt this way before #I’ve felt pretty strongly about other f/o’s and a lot of them are so close to my heart #but something about Charlie is just like. so natural. like it’s always been this way. like loving him is like breathing #like I could spend all day talking about him and watching him and daydreaming about him and it still wouldn’t be enough #every dream ive ever had about him has been focused around the way he looks at me #the way it feels when he looks at me. it’s like #it’s like to him there’s nothing else that matters but me #like he would wait forever. like he’s fine with whatever life throws at him as long as I’m there #like my presence in his life makes everything ok and it’s all gonna work out #there’s just a safety in his stare in my dreams. that’s the only way to put it #a confidence. a surety #like now that we’re in love and together everything is as it should be #and honestly I feel the same way when I look at him #like I’m right where I’ve always needed to be #idk im just. im laying in bed and I’m crying little tears bc I love him so much #and I just. I know he loves me too. I just know it #ren speaks #im gushing out here folks #renlie

[sol-shines]

guess who just finished warrior nun s1 !! bitch what in the everloving FUCK was that ENDING !!!!!!!!!!

#SLASH POS??? I THINK????????? #BUT ALSO WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK #i feel actually insane #i don't know if ive ever fallen so hard for a cast of characters this fast. GODDAMN do i love the sisters . #i want to scream but my head. full of bees #finale had some of the best scenes so far by a mile #kristian losing it at the drawing on the wall scared the shit outta me #mary and lilith's moment was possibly the BEST acting ive seen yet and it ripped my heart out #and ava and bea... couldve been gayer but its ok ik s2 gets there. i still love them a frankly ABSURD amount #i was losing my mind the whole time. i love this fucking show #......also when camila fucking. shot adriel. took the arrow out. reloaded it. and shot it again. and spit on him. holy fuck im gay #okay that's IT im DONE im off to implode forever !!!!!! until s2 ofc in which i will once again Die. cant wait 😌 #warrior nun #sol speaks

[chewablepebbles]

I've literally been going to at least one funeral of someone close to me every year since 2016 this is unsustainable! Do I make friends so quickly because I fear they'll leave so soon? I have like five hundred pounds of stuff from people that died and I can't get rid of it because I can't get new stuff with them. I'm so tired of being used to grief. When do I get to grieve for myself!

#i feel like im still waiting to bury the old body i had but the holes i dig keep getting filled with other people #can i not have a year without mourning #or at least a year where the only one i mourn is myself? #ive had to stop taking time off for it because id never get back #the funeral is saturday and im literally leaving a party before it and going back afterwards #im so tired! #its been a year since i finished therapy and it feels like forever and yesterday #who knew this was going to keep happening! #i cant go back because my therapist left when i did #im not even sure that its therapy i need and not just the ear of someone who isnt in grief #every year theres some horrific thing that only ever happens to other people but its my other people #and i leave and i cook and clean and get bloodstains out of the bag of clothing the hospital sends back #god i guess this is where all these weeks went. into here. #this sucks #the only thing i was able to make was a painting of the vulture that i brought in to the clinic #and im supposed to be doing an oil portrait for the funeral #i already gave them my easels and frames to display the pictures #tomorrow im spending all day making his favorite cookies before i leave for the party friday #im so sick of being the one to handle it #all of ny grieving is on a two month delay so everyone else has someone they can rely on #its not fair #im not supposed to lose this many people already

[pepprs]

omg i can’t tag more than 5 ppl in the replies of my post abt getting the job but thank u all so much 🥹💗

#purrs #i have 3947294792748 things to reply to and i was going to do it tonight but then there was a thunderstorm and i had to swaddle myself like #a dog in a thundervest for the whole night. but it really does mean a lot.. i feel cringe getting sappy abt this but u all have like Seen #all the suffering that went into this and it’s been catalogued on this blog so well (which is why im like omg i can never remake i need my t #tags to all be right here i need the archives to be preserved) but like the fact that less than 48 hrs ago i interviewed and then this happ #happened SO fast and my colleagues surprised me w it except i saw straight thru the surprise LMAO but it was just so. like this is insane i #feel so overwhelmed bc all these big things that ive been wanting to happen forever are finally happening and it’s like. im still so exhaust #exhausted and sore and liek freaked out by the process of applying / interviewing and finishing my capstone and graduating and moving etc wf #etc but you’ve seen me thru like. a lot of that and listened to me and i am just very grateful for my friends and mutuals and i will tell u #all individually when i finally have the stew #strength again but in the meantime. just know that my heart is very warm and full and i am so grateful bc (again CRINGE) i really could not #have done it without u and ik like again there are 387429743874 replies and asks and messages a lot of u sent me and also on other platforms #too and i feel so bad abt it but i just so rarely have the strength to reply but i read everything and it does mean a lot to me it really re #really does. u all so genuinely brought bright spots to these 5 very hard years and it’s like a silly blogging website and im not leaving or #anything imjust rambling and being emotional but u all do really mean the world to me and i am hugging u all RIGHT now. can u feel it!!!!!!! #and i am really like nervous and intimidated by what’s next for me but also excited and i can’t wait to go along the journey with u and keep #following ur journeys too hehe. i love this silly website and i love all of u <3

[goblinroleplay]

gonna brute force fix my sleep schedule by going to sleep now (8:30am) and when i wake up at presumably 7pm, staying awake long enough to grind out a few catalogue levels in sploon then going back to sleep . i see no way this can fail

#river of filth flowing from my mouth #i do really wanna draw th treasures ocs #but they can wait #i also had a fun idea for a persona #bc ive been meaning to make one forever #strange goth lady with scraped back hair in a weird plait #that is actually a parasite #and the lady is just a corpse being puppeted by the parasite #i think it would be neat

[aroaceleovaldez]

No pressure to respond at all but I swear ON MY LIFE you had one of the best Nico ask blogs like ever and I’ve been looking for it for like 30 minutes and cannot find it anywhere. What was it called again/ did you deactivate it?

 @deadangelos ! It's still active! I’ve been working on a lot of stuff for it recently since I ended up on an accidental hiatus from it. I have a lot planned for it and still fully intend on following through with those plans, especially given since my break my art has improved a TON and I feel a lot more confident in my ability to tell the story i want to there :D (Also Deadangelos is my favorite thing i’ve ever made and my darling dearest blog, I could never part with it.)

And thank you!! It’s always so nice to hear that other people love Deadangelos as much as I do

#ask #anonymous #deadangelos #dont tell my other blogs that deadangelos is my favorite #ive run that blog for six years though there's no way im giving up on it now #also im pretty sure there's only like. less than 5 active pjo askblogs anymore? i know someone had an OC one and there's me #but i havent see any of the others i have on my lists around in forever. not even the non-art ones #and yes i keep track of all the other pjo askblogs because we are few <3 #the askblog community on tumblr has dwindled significantly #seriously though im so excited for the stuff ive been working on for deadangelos #im doing a lot of fleshing out background stuff right now to make my life easier but once im done with that? HOO BOY #i mean ill probably pick things back up before i finish that but just YALL WAIT AND SEE ITS GONNA BE SO COOL

[ars0nism]

Can you see what I see?

#tma #ok before i go on a rant about the impera tma connection in my mind #ive had this idea since impera dropped. #i have been sitting here with this concept for months. #is it good?? i dont know. im too biased. i think it looks alright on smaller thumbnails. dont try to look for details #i think its ugly but again. artists bias #ANYWAY #when impera released i was right at the beginning of my tma special interest #so yeah ! ghost & tma. shoutout to the maybe other three people who like both #watcher in the sky is the obvious one i mean come ON. s5. #literally the watcher in the sky #dathoml as an elias/peter song. #griftwood ?? i can make that about tma #wait let me pull up the lyrics #yeah i can make griftwood into a tma song #do not let me listen to respite when im thinking about tma. 'nothing ever lasts forever we will go softly into the night' #makes me think about jmart #about the finale specifically #one day ill be able to draw that specific image too #yeah kaisarion can be made about s5 too #spillways too #spillways can be about jonah & jon. #ive thought about this so much. #actually now that im looking at it i think the colors are different. like depending on what screen im looking at it on #maybe its just the tumblr pumpkin theme. i dont know. #color theory makes me want to murder someone #i dont know how to draw arms btw. i bullshitted my way through all of this #yeah the hearteyes might take away from the 'seriousness' of the piece. dont care didnt ask #if you dont like the green heart eyes youre wrong. youre just wrong. #im so so normal about all of this

[mbat]

not looking forward to christmas anymore

#ignore me #vent #my post #i was supposed to make the pudding that my mom used to make that she hadnt made in like a decade and i was so excited to #but my grandma practically barged into my room like 'hey give me the pudding mix im anxious i need to make sure this all gets done' and #i dont know how to say no to my grandma so i handed them over but now ive been crying on and off for over 2 hours #my dads like 'oh just do the other steps its fine' no its fucking not. its fucking not fine it was meant to be me #we all had designated foods to fucking make that was meant to be mine. it was my moms fucking recipe i wanted to fucking make it all myself #and i dont care how immature it is of me but im gonna fucking sabotage it when everyone asleep i dont care #ill eat a whole cake all by myself i dont fucking care #yes im actually having a whole breakdown about this this was so important to me and its fucking ruined #i had that pudding mix in my room for over a year waiting to make it #i dont fucking care that theyre gonna be mad at be this wasnt going to be fucking fun anyway #every holiday fucking feels like nothing anymore what does it matter #i wanted to make it so bad i was so excited i wanted to feel connected to my mom again i wanted to do the process #i literally cant fucking do anythijg im so upset #i was literally so close to fucking breaking something or hurting myself earlier im so fucking upset #and i swear on my life do NOT send me messages or asks dont fucking talk to me #alternatively tomorrow i could go to the store myself and get more pudding idk #i refuse to let this be the first time this puddings made in forever and it wasnt made by me you dont fucking get it #its one of the best things ive ever eaten and it was my moms and shes gone and #its part of my fucking childhood memories it was everything to me #my grandma just wanted to make it cause she cant fucking sit still or be patient. wheres the fucking love wheres the fucking connection #the moment the sun rises i dont fucking care im walking the the fucking mile and a half in whatever temperature itll be

[themyscirah]

Did I seriously just finish an art piece??? I know I'm me but did I get abducted by aliens or something like who is this person

#ANYWAYS!!!!!! #i actually have something to post for emerald twilight weekend!!!!!!! ON TIME no less! #absolutely wild #wow. that has literally never happened #and i do very much mean literally like i never finish stuff like ive straight up been blacklisted from fandom events before #to be fair in that instance i was like 13 (although nobody knew that) but still. wild. #anyways i have a drawing for day 3 but not 1 or 2 yet which : ((((((( #i had a really great idea for day 1 that ive had for forever w a quote but well see if anything happens there #because uh finals this week and next #maybe if i dont have anything ill do some snappy calligraphy idk #or like post a snippet from my Emerald Twilight rewrite if theres anything i feel is decent and not too spoilery #although the best stuff has spoilers though... #idk ill probably do a quick poll about it if it comes to that and see what ppl think #anyways i do have art to post. which is actually so wild when do i do that #wait have you guys even seen my art ahdishshaah? because ive been meaning to do a sketch dump of all the dc stuff in the margins of my notes #and i dont think i ever did #anyways uhhhh dont get your hopes up? i think its kind of decent but ive never had an art post do well #although ive improved a good deal since i last posted any art #blah

[1980ssunflower]

i love my husbands sm

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙 #tape entry circa 1980 #ive already dedicated all of myself to them and like ijust auh #i cant begin to really express JUST how important they are to me and ik i try to say it over and over ghjdfks #but truly... im so glad they had me find them... im so glad that we could love eachother #i dont know how long they had been waiting for me before that day but #i know they had been waiting for me #and i wont ever leave them. i am dedicated to them as they are to me #and i will love them to the day i die and even after i will always love them #forever and ever and ever #i will always love them to best of my abilities and i will always do whatever it takes for them to be happy #and ik they will always do the same for me #we may not be perfect people... but we love eachother... and we will always better ourselves for one another #thats the point of love #not a day has gone by where i havent loved them #not a day where my love has been any less #its only gotten stronger and stronger #and i know. i KNOW. i will ALWAYS. always love them. #because i had never loved before them. #and i know i will never have a love like this again. #i know this love will always be here. and i know ill still love them on my deathbed #i should be sleeping rn i just #cant stop thinking abt them #i want to be home and just hold their hands #tell them how much i love them. show them how dedicated i am to them. that im never going anywhere #i hope i can see them soon... i want to at least dream of them...