#I can't write concisely I swear

[earlgrey24]

I'd love to hear about your thesis topic (if you're not already sick to death of talking about it 😂)!

Aa, thank you for reaching out, it's so nice of you to ask!!

I'm definitely not sick of talking about it yet! I suspect that it may be the other way around and people around me are starting to get sick of hearing about it 😅

The topic is broadly a mental health disorder which supposedly plagued early 18th century Britain interpreted through a philosophical lens.

More specifically, there was this physician and philosopher called Bernard de Mandeville, who was one of those people who had thoughts on absolutely every topic imaginable, spanning from economical and social theory to medicine (he was also a huge classics nerd but with people in the 1700s, that probably goes without saying).

Supposedly to gain more patients for his practice, he wrote this wonderfully weird medical treatise on how to deal with hypochondria (the name can be misleading, but back then it referred to an unspecified mental health issue close to our current understanding of depression). It is written in a form of a dialogue between a doctor and a patient, and it discusses various symptoms of the disease as well as practical advice on how to treat it (including some great wine recommendations and seemingly endless quotes from Horace and Ovid for some reason).

One thing that particularly fascinates me about the text is that it shows a kind of proto-therapeutic approach to the treatment of mental health issues and it places a lot of emphasis on the developing relationship between the doctor and the patient. The wife of the hypochondriac who suffers from the same illness as her husband is also present, so at times, I'm attempting to go for a slightly feminist angle (Mandeville was not exactly a feminist but some of his ideas about gender were genuinely progressive for a guy writing in the early 1700s).

I'm writing it under the philosophy department, so I sadly had to minimise the historical context in my actual writing. I did research it however! A lot has been said about how hypochondria characterised British people specifically and how an increasingly easy and comfortable life of the upper-middle class may have paradoxically contributed to it. It's also been linked to philosophers/men of letters since it seemed to have affected this group of people in particular (perhaps most famously David Hume who is my supervisor's number one guy).

The result I ended up with is a bit chaotic, but I genuinely had a ton of fun researching the topic! I got a chance to engage in one of my most favourite things in the world, which I guess could be called amateur psychoanalysis of people from the 18th century.

I've also argued by the end that it is useful to study early modern texts (and by extension all historical texts) since it helps us to see which aspects of the human experience remain unchanged over time. (Spoiler: although wine is no longer recommended as a cure, we don't differ that much from people living three centuries ago in all of the important ways. Most notably, we all need positive interactions with others for our mental well-being and to some extent, we all crave others' approval).

Actually getting it printed soon — then it's just anxiously awaiting feedback and then onto the defense.

Hope my answer is not too long or incoherent and thanks again for asking!

#thesis #thesis era #asks #✨ #I can't write concisely I swear #writing an abstract was painful #philosophy #1700s

[dlartistanon]

I have to be honest, after everything I heard I went into Lone Trail anticipating Muelsyse character assassination-- nay, *annihilation*, for the sake of Doctor-sexual fanservice and I was ready to be disappointed. But having finished reading Lone Trail myself now... What? Her homescreen lines are utter horseshit, I completely agree, but her actual character writing in Lone Trail fits that really good analysis post by meeblo so accurately that I can't believe meeblo didn't read LT before writing

"The more I think about Lone Trail the less I like how they executed the story."

So, let me preface this with with preemptive TL;DR: If you are a fan of Silence as a character, you probably really enjoy Lone Trail.

If you are a fan of any other character, especially Muelsyse, and ESPECIALLY if you don't like or don't care for self-insert pandering, you're likely disappointed and/or frustrated with Lone Trail. I am the latter.

Let me just copypaste what my friend has to say (plus my own replies and commentary) since they can articulate the feeling better than I can:

I'm sorry. I just can't imagine a world where Saria, who means so much to Muelsyse, is nearly assassinated and in awful shape, and *she knows that* and is like "wassup doctor, heard Saria's in trouble but lets hang out"

Me: Exactly. This does not make sense with what we know of their relationship. Especially since she's later worried sick/almost breaks down at the thought of losing Saria for real

I'm just going through the story and so much of it doesn't make sense to me. And it's (I'm not done but getting there) just *so depressing* how much of the event is eaten up with kind of pointless/uninteresting doctor babysitting? She should be front & center in all of this. There's so much to work with and play with but so much of it does not make *any sense*. Muelsyse did not need to be hobbled by this. Hell, so far as I've read, Doctor didn't need to be there or could have done it on their own. Fucking frustrating.

Me: I'm not that familiar with Guide Ahead, but I can't help but imagine how much better/more concise Lone Trail could've been had they handled Samuelsten in a similar way to GA's central trio. Don't shove Muelsyse to the side, make her an active agent in the story, with the people who matter to her

I mean I’ve made it to CW-7 and as someone who’s in the middle of all of this (often by design) I’m puzzled that she’s one of the least interesting parts of the event? Kristen, HoHo, Nasti, Jara are great. We know why it matters to her but she’s on the fringes the entire time. This should have been done like guide ahead but guide ahead was much better and leaner by virtue of not needing to dedicate half the fucking event to talk about how great and interesting the doctor is. There’s no reason doctor couldn’t have been with Kal’tsit the entire time. That would actually make sense. But nope.

"It's Saria you want to see, It's Kristen who you're looking for" but why don't we just stick you with Doctor the entire fucking event and you can act like you're just on a little adventure. Cannot believe I have to rely on the furniture to give what the event should have.

This might be a controversial take, but I wish all this giant lore dump with Doctor, Priestess and Kal'tsit had been relegated to another vignette or main chapter with just mentions of Kirsten/Kristen and Rhine Lab. It's taking up much too much of Rhine Lab's event. Instead of *way too many flashbacks* with Doctor/Kal'tsit/ whoever, we could have had this building up Saria/ Kirsten/Muelsyse with their past instead of the one 3 second glimpse we got. I am so mad at this stupid fucking decision. Rhine Lab Event: featuring Rhine Lab as glorified cameos

Reply: Yeah its so annoying. It takes up sooo much god damn space and for what? And for what ? It doesn’t belong. I swear to god i wish we focused on, idk, the main relationship between saria and kirsten (and mumu but my faith is lost) instead of kirsten only showing up at the very end

Yeah, I'm sure glad FERDINAND got the most screen time out of all Rhine Lab. Just *what*. But the lore dump, while *fine* is just fucking egregious and does not belong here. This could have been referenced elsewhere and they could have fleshed out everyone else.

I have finished Lone Trail! Cumulatively, I love about two chapters worth of it! I definitely had high expectations but even if I'd had mediocre expectations I would have been let down. Not enough of the Rhine Lab founders, needless lore dump that could have gone elsewhere. It felt fragmented and like a hodge podge of things. Saria, Muelsyse and Kirsten felt like cameos in the entire event. And I'm sure the intention of this was to elevate just how goddamn special the doctor is, but the way it was written, it felt like no one at Rhine Lab gives a single solitary fuck about Muelsyse in any real capacity. These are the people she's had and adores. Yes, her loneliness was a sort of focus of the event, but the way it plays out does make it feel like "yeah, you're right to be lonely. Thank god for doctor!"

So much of my irritation is not only was she reduced to a love interest for Doctor, treated poorly by everyone at RL, she had zero agency in the whole event. She really was just floating passively for the most part. Muelsyse in Lone Trail: 1. Looks for Kirsten/ doesn't find Kirsten/ abandoned & not said goodbye to by Kirsten. 2. Looks for Saria (eventually) stopped by Saria. Saves Saria, doesn't talk to her again/ is not acknowledged by Saria. 3. Nasti tells her she's a crybaby & to get lost I mean, it really is no wonder she wanted to off herself. She built Rhine Lab with them from the beginning and this is how the event chooses for all these people to treat her? It's unbelievable.

Me: All that to make Doctor look better in comparison, right? It's jarring bc it's such a far cry from the brief concern Saria showed towards her in DV and doesn't even follow up with her claim to want to save Muelsyse in LT. Where's the consistency? She remembers that Mumu is fragile, but we don't even get a scene or mention of checking up on her after crashing back down to earth?

At least in Kristen's case, she remembered Muelsyse exists afterwards with the plantlife onboard, but it's not even presented as wrong or a character flaw how Saria ignores Muelsyse in the end, even though she literally saved her life. Just... nothing. This is the defender who protects others? The one that she fell for?

Yeah “when you’re emotional you forget that you’re fragile” & okay this is a devastating day for her so fuck her very much! No need to check on how she’s doing losing a long time friend and colleague, how she was in a thing that literally crashed but she saved *her*. And this isn’t even about Samuels in particular! This is how she was treated by the people with an established history that matter to her. Obviously the game is pandering, but given how literally everyone in the game, from the actions she can see, treats her like she is disposable trash. It’s no fucking wonder she’d be like “oh wow doctor!” Because at least they treat her like a human being who has feelings and who hurts? The fact that Saria doesn’t even reach out, that she has treated her like a stranger for the most part doesn’t track. Why did they make Muelsyse the “hero/ star” of the event banner? She’s forgotten and mistreated by everyone, gets almost zero game content, her file and voice lines are a mess and she doesn’t influence the story in any way at all. This event as a Rhine Lab story was trash.

Me: It felt so much more like a "Silence" story with Rhine Lab as window dressing. They clearly didn't have any editors around because how can you SAY that these people matter to Muelsyse but then not PROVE it? The lack of care, the disrespect towards her and other characters in relation to her is just astonishing

I like Silence a lot but wtf was she leading this? The whole thing is the conflict with Sarsten w/ Muelsyse in the middle. She got a new outfit, talked to Parvis, rehashed a conversation w Saria for the 10th time? This should have been all Muelsyse / Saria/ Kirsten but they barely existed in the event. And who the fuck polled whoever else to decide that Ferdinand and the creep Josh should get the rest of the time!Why so much build up with Jara / her closeness to Kirsten to not have any interaction with them? WTF were they doing.

I could probably write an essay about all the things I felt didn't work as a Rhine Lab event. This might have worked better as a vignette just to keep it tidy. But I think the other thing for me is that… hrm this event almost assumes that all you've seen of Silence is the manhua and thus wow! Growth! She loses the glasses and gets a new style to show that off. But the Silence of this event is the Silence we've had in the game since day one. The one in Mansfield and in Dorothy's Vision who is kind of certain about what is wrong and what is right and will stand up for that. So to me there wasn't any growth there. Because we'd already seen that growth/ that was the person we've known since the start of the game. A lot of this event kind of relies on… either not having read the manhua or exclusively having read the manhua. Because if not for the manhua you don't know/ understand why there's that Kirsten/Saria divide and how much it means. It's all very weird.

And kind of to add to my little rant… DV and the manhua allude to Muelsyse being extremely close to Kirsten and being her sidekick. But in neither the manhua or any of the events do we see any of that. Instead we get Nasti (who I like a lot) in that role and--- I just don't get it. You'll be less disappointed if you don't read the manhua. lol A ton of Muelsyse's character development and her relationship with Saria is highlighted there and this event just kind of decides to burn all of that to the ground. But if you want to see why the final chapter matters/ is special/ yes, read it.

Me: Nasti's in the role bc we had to have our self-insert fix with the hot new playable op :/

yeah. with the same motivations. but all of that should have rightfully been hers I really do think they just gave Muelsyse's role to Nasti And the cherry on top of all of it was at the end when Muelsyse is like "Huh did the three of us actually dance together or did I make all of that up?" I just can't with that final slap in the face to Muelsyse and all of them. Like her talk about loneliness is fine and well done and the little history but so much left a lot of questions.

Me: yeah… it's just. wow. there were nuggets and seeds planted that had potential, but they didn't bother to actually cultivate and develop those relationships and dynamics at which point why even include them at all

Yeah, I’ll include that in my rant, but my last point on that end is Saria’s “I would do it over again” doesn’t make sense if you haven’t read the manhua— and just doesn’t jive with what is presented in the events with her that is much more clinical. And I’ve said this about multiple things— but a story should be able to stand on its own without having needed to read a manhua for additional context— and especially when having read the manhua you’re left with ??????

#dltext #anonymous #lone trail is disappointing; to put it mildly #especially for someone who loves muelsyse as a character #again: she deserves so much better #dl talks ak #what does it say when the freaking FURNITURE DESCRIPTIONS are arguably more respectful to mumu than the event itself

[youremyheaven]

okay so i'm so the anon who brought up how freaky solar men are up & i thought abt how i wanted to go abt this like i was orig. going to continue my spiel and outline every single kink i saw as a pattern but ... i just want to be concise + this is an astro blog i don't want to get too graphic on here so here's me wrapping it up (sorry this one is anti-climatic):

so at the root of it solar men go into sex - honestly any situation in their lives - asking themselves 2 things.

how can i have fun here? & how can i maximize on said fun?

how & will this feed into my ego?

it's an oversimplification of solar men but i think thats the gist of what drives them in any situation. so you can use that logic to apply to whether you'd think a solar man would be into smth sexually or not. like for e.x. solar dom men tend not to be munches in the bedroom (sorry girlsss 😭). but it makes sense as to why when you apply the logic of them being ego & pursuit of happiness driven. and if you do meet a solar man who does like eating their girl out ask them their reasoning for it and i swear their reasoning will somehow fall into this logic too (e.x. "it's fun for me" or "it makes me feel like im the man")

anyway with that being said there's only one other kink they rly lean into that i do want to elaborate on bc it's fun! it's roleplaying. they're so fun in this regard they like to play up certain scenarios (typically a power imbalance dynamic at play in it too) and they rly like it when you dress up for them; again there's also this air of unserious fun to it too like they just don't take themselves too srsly. like my fav memory w my latest sun dom ex was the time when the mid-autumn festival rolled around (he's chinese) and i asked him how he wanted to celebrate since his family was back home so it would just be him & i so he came up w the idea that i dressed like a bunny and delivered him his "mooncake". this is context for those who don't know (how he explained it to me so if this is botched i'm sorry omg): for chinese ppl there is an association b/w rabbits and mooncake during mid-autumn festival; jade rabbits often delivering them. anyways to make a long story short, i ended up picking up a box of mooncake for him and when i showed up to his place he had a whole bunny lingerie ensemble laid out for me so you can put two and two tg and figure out how that went 😂

now with that wrapped up i acc wanted to touch on the last ask you answered: hearing your type now i do not recommend a sun dom man for you actually. sun men def play it cool and i'll be honest they're the type to bully/tease as flirting and i find that the kind of women that best respond to the super cocky, kind of a bully style of flirting from solar dom men are saturn dom women (who dish it right back to them) and lunar dom women (extremely receptive & thrives in passivity). just as claire put it. your type acc sounds more along the lines of a venus dom man (they're simps & tend to worship - they just don't have that external tough guy thing going on imo) combined w smth else. i remember you saying you had a mercury dk do you mind sharing the nak/sign it's in? that could probs help w figuring out whats best for you

oh my last thing do you think solar dom men tend to be drawn to working as commercial pilots? if so why do you think that may be? bc as i was writing this i realized all of my exes were either commercial pilots or up in the corporate ladder. working corporate for them makes sense i feel like i've seen that somewhere but it's the pilot thing i'm curious abt

damn 😳😳😳

Yeah I def can't stand Saturnian men (mainly Anuradhas) and idk any Solar men but while they sound 🥵🥵 they're not for me as you said

I swear my type is a Venusian man who will worship me 🤤😤😩😭 I think I really like the idea of a big serious tough guy that others are intimidated by but who is a complete sweetie with me. Having a partner that is socially respected and taken seriously is vvv important to me (probably bc I have Venus in 10h) I do see the effect of my Mercury DK bc I love to flirt and tease and I love the smooth talking type of guy, I really value emotional & literal intelligence in men but beyond that Mercurial men are horny little rabbits and that kind of puts me off. I want a Venusian man who will be more refined about that sort of thing??? My old friend is with a Bharani Moon guy and honestly I want what they have. He puts the shoes on her feet, carries her bags and feeds her even?? Like that guy loves to give and is a complete simp (idk anything else about their relationship so idk what the downside of all this Venusian affection is)

When you said commercial pilot I stopped breathing 😳😳😭😭 because I only know one person who is a pilot and he's Krittika Sun 😩😩😩 I think Sun dominant people both men and women are drawn to the top of the hierarchy, they need to be the best at what they do, they won't settle for anything less than that and all the Sun dominant people I know are extremely ambitious and hardworking. With flying, they're literally on top of the world and in the air, that's as Sun dominant as it gets. Maybe that's a simplistic take but I think they're drawn to the high life and doing something that only a few get to do. I think all benefic planets kind of create a sense of elitism and exclusivity in its natives (I know Sun isn't widely considered to be a benefic but it's ...The Sun...) our solar system revolves around the Sun, life on earth centres the Sun. The natural most comfortable place for a Solar person is at the top of the ladder, they don't feel like they "belong" anywhere else. The Sun is used to being needed but the Sun doesn't need anybody or anything, if ykwim?? Probably why Sun natives dgaf about anyone or anything lol

[indycinders]

what's this? a devlog? idk

Helloooooo

I'm very sleep-deprived over the events of the last few days, and in general the last week because I've been very sick. So take what I'm about to say at face value, mostly because I'm just throwing general ideas out there for my own self hahaha.

I'm going to put my energy today into re-thinking Duplicity. I'm talking about a massive overhaul. From today on, consider the current demo and the characters to be null and void and non-canon, just enjoy it for the goofy thing it is in its current state.

The entire story will be reworked, rewritten, and redrawn. I may reuse some backgrounds LMAO because I just can't with the background art man. The characters will still be the same though! Griffin, Taipan, Tris, Dell, and others will be included in the game, but their overall personalities and back stories will be redone to be more concise and cohesive so I'm not making it up on the fly anymore.

I will be removing Sophie from the game because I've come to realize that what I had planned for her story line goes against my morals personally. (that sounds real bad lskdjglsk she wasn't going to be hurt i swear) But I don't think having a character who is portrayed as a minor is a good thing to have in the game when she's not inherently related (like sister or niece or w/e) to any of the characters.

I'm going to go along with the original idea I had before I became obsessed with wanting to make a "yan game". I think it's a solid idea, I think it will overall be a lot better received, and I think I'll be able to write it better.

There won't be any NSFW in the base game, but I'll think about including a paid option for it, only because if I write it, I want compensation LMAO sorry but not really. I'm not a smut writer, I don't enjoy writing it.

Anyway, that's all I had to say. uvu Take care of yourselves, bunnies.

-Cin

#devlog #duplicityvn #visual novel development #yandere #cinders talks #vns

[blue-kyber]

My parents keep asking me why I'm not writing for a studio when I've written two books and multiple short stories.

I've told them the following:

A) I'm ADHD - really bad. I go from 0 interest in something to "OMG IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT 247 to 0 interest with no guarantee I'll find interest in it again. Middle ground? Never met her.

B) Writing something I'm not interested in is WORK. And you know how ADHD people deal with being forced to do things we have no interest in. It's not whining or complaining. It's pain. We physically and literally do not have the neurotransmitters needed to force ourselves to do it without extreme mental and physical effort, and so much internal pain we want to tear our skin off. By the time we're done doing something that should be mundane, we want to cry and tell you where the rebel base is just to make it stop.

C) I suck at writing screen plays. They always turn into stories. Seriously. My current book, "Out There: The 1K" was originally supposed to be a series. I tried to write a screenplay. I swear to God I did.

D) .... I forgot.

E) I'm not that witty. I don't have the chops of a golden wordsmith who can come up with incredible lines of dialogue. I wish I had that kind of eloquent mind with a vocabulary that doesn't jump ship whenever I reach for multisyllabic words that I know exist in my brain somewhere among all these extra neurons and shit.

F) I remember now. I keep forgetting details.

G) I'm not a fast writer. I can't pump out content in a short period of time unless I'm balls-to-the-wall invested in it.

H) I suck at business and marketing. I'm the worldbuilder. I'm a hot dumpster fire owned by racoons who keeps losing her train of thought halfway through... Damn, this was supposed to be concise. See what I mean? It's just gone.

H) Got it back! I'm a hot dumpster fire owned by racoons regarding everything else.

I) Why is H in here twice? Oh well. Double H it is.

J) I only have an AA degree in general education, because my dumb, depressed, unmedicated and undiagnosed ADHD/autistic ass didn't have any motivation to do more than exist.

K) Homework and school was a nightmare. I boycotted homework in the 2nd grade and never faltered on my stance. School is for work. Home is for recovering from school. Little did I know that this powerful need to recharge after school was linked to being neurodivergent.

L) I did take film and screenwriting courses in college, and created projects. They were fun, and I had a good time coming up with stories, but those classes were not dripping with Bachelor Degree.

M) I wanted to get down to this letter. That's it. I wanted to reach M. So, I guess....

This post brought to you by the letter

M

#writing #I wish I was good enough to write for shows #I'm not part of the WGA. I can't afford their dues. But I would strike with the writers if I could. #This post is brought to you by the letter M

[khaotunq]

GGWM - Get Giffy With Me

I am not professing to be anything even remotely resembling good at giffing, but I got a little message from @thisautistic (hope you don't mind the @, bb! I'll remove if you prefer) asking about how I did my Jay Does Corporate Pride bold gays Ayan set. We quickly realised I can't do anything concisely, and so was born this idea.

All my secrets laid bare. Not that I consider anything here a secret. Go ahead and steal my methods. Steal them. Run with them. They're yours now.

Specifically, I'm going to talk about background isolation and boosting, here, but I'm gonna start a new gif from scratch and show the steps to getting there.

So, I have Photoshop 2020. Or 21. I don't really know. That's the only tool I'll be using, other than the empty cereal box I call a brain.

We're going from this to this. (These are very, very quick and dirty, but they're for demonstrative purposes.)

And this to this.

Annoyingly, I think I prefer the "bad" example, but anyway.

Fair warning: this post is exactly as chaotic as you'd expect it to be, considering it's me writing it and I wrote it in an hour... which includes the time spent making the gifs.

Are there easier ways? Probably.

Let's go!

1. CAP SELECTION.

I have the entirety of The Eclipse capped already, but you'll want to cap your scenes if you haven't already. I prefer working with caps rather than video clips - they both have pros and cons, and I can talk about that some other time if anyone wants me to.

I'm doing two gifs for this little tutorial-turned-dissertation - one that's easy peasy to colour for the purposes of Corporate Pride, and one that makes me want to consume my own elbows. For comparison, or something.

First thing to consider, is if the background is a feature, you want your subject to stay fucking still Kanaphan I swear to god.

You also want to pick something with fairly good contrast. I hate black/white and otherwise relatively neutral backgrounds because they're so difficult to make look natural, but something already predominantly coloured? Lemon squeezy, baby.

2. IDENTIFY COLOURS.

I've taken the easy route and picked green, which is almost always going to contrast nicely with skin tones and makes my life easier, and purple which I have many many issues with, but also contrasts.

Also, this step isn't massively important, it just helps. For example, I didn't know I was going to use green for the First gif until I boosted a bunch of colours and realised how green that rock face behind him is.

I tend to use my beloveds Selective Colour and Colour Balance rather than curves. I don't understand curves. I only use it if I have to lighten something.

3. QUICK AND DIRTY BASIC GIF TUTORIAL ft. my boy Pawin:

Timeline> Video Timeline> Add Media> put in your frames, change your frame delay. Boom, basic gif. Or, to get particularly meta... gif gif tutorial!

What a babe. 🥰

And no, I can't explain why he's here. I have two perfectly fucked up gifs to fuck up, but I chose to spend 60 seconds of my life making a Pawin gif just for this.

4. COLOURING!!!

Go nuts. But here's my process for the Akk gif in specific.

This tells you precisely nothing, but it was fun to make.

I have no idea how to share the specific settings other than to give you the .psd. So as soon as I figure that out, you can have it. I don't recommend using the psd for any and all gifs, because my approach to colouring is interpretive at best, but I really don't care all that much so. Do what you like. S'what I do.

Not included in this: cropping/resizing, my sharpening action, swearing about First, apologising to First, laughing at the fact I changed his shirt colour entirely, swearing at First some more, shrugging and saying, "That'll do."

5. COLOUR FILL / BRUSH / OVERLAY

So, all of this is for this one step.

Here I will demonstrate why white/neutral backgrounds can suck unless you're looking for that particular effect.

For something like the gifset I made, I wanted to punch people in the face with colour, so I had to use scenes with backgrounds I could lean on. In the Akk gif, I noticed the green after fucking around with the colour balance (I tend to boost shadows blue or red, then highlights cyans, but I've been known to go wacky. I leave mid tones alone... for the most part.) so that's what I decided to lean into. When I started this little ramble 500 years ago, I was originally planning on orange. How fickle fate is.

Anyway! I prefer using brushes rather than a full colour-fill layer, because I feel like it gives me greater control. I also prefer adding colour gradually rather than starting with a block. So, I use either a large soft brush at 50% opacity, or a watercolour brush at 100% because it's semi transparent anyway.

I'll use broad strokes - I ain't here for detail work. Set it to Overlay or Soft Light, whichever floats ya boat. And then rather than erase anything, I'll create a layer mask and, using the same brush, splodge it around til nobody's face is green.

And then on the off chance things are eye-burningly saturated by the time I finish other colouring things, I'll just go kill the opacity on the overall colour layer. Like seu~

You have no idea the strength it's taking to not go back and redo this entire tutorial because I've taken too much yellow out of his skin and it's bugging the shit out of me.

This is a fake tutorial, Jay. Breathe.

TO KHAOTUNG!

I am man enough to admit I stole my own damn .psd for the other gif. I literally used the same settings other than futzing about with the neutral balance to try and get some kind of colour undertone.

This is the second gif with just the colouring, no additional fill or overlay:

Isn't he pretty? Don't we love him? I love him. He's so asjdkfhg. Ugh.

Anyway. I figured there was sort of a blue/purple tone. Knowing what I do, I know it's gonna be way too pale for what I want, and he also moves quite far across the frame, so it's gonna be a pain in the arse if I want to go SUPER saturated with any colour background,but this is a demonstration and nothing more.

I could use Linear Burn instead of Overlay but I always get annoyed at it. Because I am a deeply rational person.

Anyway, the point of the above is to kind of show that sometimes u just gotta leave a massive puddle of colourlessness around someone's head if they're moving a lot. I've gotten away with it in this case because it's pale, but if I tried to put any further boost to the saturation, it'd look insane:

I HOPE THIS HELPS

I apologise for my incoherence. It makes sense to me. Which should worry us all.

Anyway, final gifs:

+

Rejects of my War On Purple, because I promised those. Notice how they're all white, black or neutral (dark brown/red) backgrounds? Rage.

#i had far too much fun making this #it's entirely possible i'm slightly manic #i have no idea how to tag this #my gifs #i guess? i'm going to hate coming across this later but lmao #trust the process #even if the process is screaming and sliding sliders around til someone looks human again #adventures in gifmaking

[wiihtigo]

hi kobias :) I can't think of something interesting to ask. uh, maybe, who are some of your favorite DC comic artists and why (super duper hardmode: can't say Greg Smallwood)

hello doohan :) (kicking my millions of saved human target covers and panels back under the bed) NO...

hmm off the top of my head, im such a huge fan of adam hughes work seriously...of course i discovered him through his work on justice league international hes drawn two of my favorite covers..i feel so #blessed he just happened to work on jli and draw a bunch of cute boosters before dedicating his life to drawing sexy catwomans (also i think its cute his artist signature is AH!)

of course speaking of jli i have to say kevin maguire. i swear this isnt turning into "my top booster artists" but i do love that whenever hes at cons he always has like 8 pieces of booster and beetle both to sell just cuz he likes drawing them so much. Hes most famous for his Funny Faces (drawing expressions very realistically) and i seriosly love it so much. I will say though i had a complaint with the way his art was colored in formerly known as the justice league and jla classified i thought it made it look kind of bad i did not like the weird shading style i dont think it suited his pencils at all. sorry. sorry. sorry. his art shines best imo in jli (i think i just have a bias for older comics I have the same things to say about dan jurgens art...maybe its that i prefer the flat coloring to the Every Panel Painstakingly Rendered in most modern comics today? i still love both their art but i mean if i had to choose id choose one of their older comics theyve drawn for. Speaking of dan jurgens i wanna give a shoutout to the first comic book colorist i ever looked up because i was so impressed with the coloring in the comic- Nansi Hoolahan! there was a lot of nice pinks and blues used in boosters first solo and everything just looked so nice it really made dans art shine)

the more time i have to think about artists i like the most i have to kick myself in the shins and speed round myself so i dont end up listing 1million people. OH i remember really loving Mark Badgers art in martian manhunters 1988 mini series. Its such a pleasing unique style i love it

i promise i really am trying to be clear cut and concise here. I loved richard case and simon bisleys (respectively) stuff in doom patrol.

DP was a huge pool of cool crazy and unique art as soon as grant morrison stepped in to match their crazy writing it was such a treat to read through.

ok lets see. ty templeton. kyle baker. ramona frandon. jorge corona. doc shaner. Oh also todd nauck of young justice fame. everything looks so clunky i love it

#asks #ive already posted those hughes covers before but can you blame me theyre sooooooo cute #i keep thinking of more i have to cut myself off. i also love jaimes first solo artist. the artist for the ray. and batman zero year

[comfortunit]

literally just found you today thru those rants and 100%. ive talked about it with friends but we keep it to ourselves bc fandombrained people are so vitriolic & reactionary but you get it. fandoms as they are now are simply a function of capitalism and i wouldnt even say most are fans of the media they say they are but of the roving dudeslash fandom who NEED to see characters forced into their static cookiecutter trope pairing/mirroring themselves and fuckin or theyll die. fandoms in general also tend to be a cesspit of racism & terrible attitudes towards sex work despite their fascination with/fetishization of both race and sex work in general and its like the smaller the fandom is the more of a toxic microcosm of let people haaaaave funnnnn it becomes (idk why i wrote this i was just super surprised to see another mbd fan who was also a sex worker, hiii same hat i am waving to you from across the street)

i went off about this in a mutual's personal server even more than i posted/ranted about here on tumblr because it really pisses me off, especially when you visit low-rating reviews of any mbd book, extra especially fugitive telemetry (like "how Dare this author whose work i love give me a novella after a full-length novel release?!" it's so fucking ungrateful! and it demonstrates such a disgusting lack of basic reading comprehension).

here's one review i saw posted the month i picked up the book and happened to be using goodreads to track my progress at the time, for example:

out of ideas?! it's one of the more tonally different stories in the series. when i finished the book for myself, i came back to this review and i just did not know how someone could ever say something like this. did we even read the same book?! is she "out of ideas" or did she give people another short-form story that was packed with concise and exacting language, tackling a multifaceted web of brand new interactions that make murderbot's personhood that much more dimensional, and they turned their nose up at it because "ugh 🙄 why can't we just have more full-length novels full of stuff that i can pretend is evidence of my fantasy OTP ship being canon"? the idea that a story is "low-effort" to "produce" simply because it's short is such a fucking insult to writers who know anything about writing, especially short-form masters like martha wells. these books are raw concentrated emotion.

to use a food comparison, because i've been getting emotional about the bear recently, it's like comparing a family/holiday feast to an 8-course meal from a star-ranked restaurant. they are both incredibly valuable, in different ways. the novellas are basically 'the perfect bite', they are incredibly well-written, they're rounded stories about rounded characters. intricate, delicate, plated to perfection, and at the end you realize that you've had enough of these small courses (chapters) that it's like. wow, you realize how fulfilled you are; every 'level' engaged is maxed out... and a feast made to feed an entire family like the full-length novel(s) (since the next book is a full-length novel, too) is hearty, it's quantity from a quality-minded author, it's nourishing, it's fulfilling, it's going to get a lot of mileage from every character included. these are different experiences prepared by the same chef. trust that she's going to treat you well. you know?

but you don't let diners into the kitchen to make changes to the food everyone else is going to eat. i might be going a little far with the metaphor but i swear to fucking god if tor.com does the fanservice shit to mbd i'm going to lose my fucking mind.

but again. i have faith in martha wells, i have hope and i know she would never do that to us.

edit: oh my god where are my manners HI FELLOW SEX WORKER WHO LOVES THE MUDERBOT DIARIES! THANK YOU! HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A WONDERFUL DAY!

#writing long responses to long asks is how i process things shut up /lh /j

[theangryjikooker]

Hey TAJ! This is unicorn anon 2.0 lol, hope you're doing okay and enjoying Festa/comeback activities! I had a few reasons for popping in. First, I just wanted to say I love your last handful of posts! I'm envious of how you can make your points so concisely. Also wanted to say I'm sorry you've been getting so many troll anons lately. Fandom spaces can be exhausting enough without people actively making it worse. As a Taekooker it just frustrates me so much to see other Tkks in here, and on other blogs, being assholes on purpose. I'm sorry it happens to you so often.

Finally I was curious about your one reason you could see for Taekook dating (sorry if I'm butchering the way you worded that -- I know that you don't actually think they are haha) but of course I totally understand if that's not something you want to get into here!

Anyway I hope you're doing well and having fun with all the new content! -🦄 2.0

I'm so delighted whenever anons make use of the tags I give to them. 😂 Hello, unicorn 2.0! (Although I could swear you were the OG—the way you write sounds like the OG anyway... help, let me know if I'm wrong!)

Similar to Jikook, if I were a Tkkr, I would focus on the overarching dynamics between Taekook. Already we're seeing people lose their minds over them sitting next to each other or Taehyung wanting to go get a tattoo with Jungkook, but those are... non-reasons to me. 🤷🏻‍♀️ That's not to say that none of these things aren't cute because they could be, in the same way that Jkkrs find joy in Jikook sharing a car. It doesn't indicate anything about their relationship, but it is a shipper-oriented moment (I feel like this distinction is crazy important).

(The rest behind a cut because this is pretty much the antithesis of my usual content. Subject yourself to it if you want.

Disclaimer: I am not a Tkkr. I can't stress this enough. If you're a casual passerby, please take note of this.)

The so-called overarching dynamic between Taekook that I've observed thus far is arguably mundane, but I would cite the fact that they have reconnected and it shows. I think when you compare their dynamics pre-ITS1 vs. now, they've clearly bridged whatever social awkwardness they had before. I wasn't around when BTS debuted and as far as I know, everyone could agree that Taekook were closer, but nowadays I imagine their friendship has risen from the ashes, so to speak, as an ode to what they had as young teenagers. But now they're adults, and I would probably explore what that could mean.

I've also noticed that Taehyung and Jungkook are both exploring their interests and hobbies, trying out new things, etc. In everyday life, people will find it a lot easier to connect with someone whose phase in life is seemingly running parallel to theirs.

So if I were a Tkkr, these are the dots I'd latch onto and run with because it makes the most sense to me and has the most potential to cultivate that Taekook angle I would hypothetically want to develop.

Thus begs the question I may get in response to this: if you can see this, why aren't you a Tkkr?

Because their micro dynamics suggest to me (using my own knowledge of human behavior, which can sometimes be influenced by my own experiences and personal opinion) that their relationship is ultimately platonic. I personally think Taekook is quite similar to Jihope in terms of closeness.

Any Taekook moment I've witnessed doesn't particularly look invasive or awkward third-wheeling, especially after taking into consideration their culture on skinship. Jikook, by comparison, often flirts with that line of what's considered "normal," which is why they interest me far more than Taekook does.

This isn't me trying to dismiss Taekook. I just don't see them in that way and I never have, but I can certainly pick out things that can be used to begin a narrative that sounds the most logical to me. The practice itself isn't hard, and I can do the same for all the other ships quite easily, and I still wouldn't consider myself a shipper for those ships either.

#TAJ asks #unicorn anon #taekook #vkook

[doorsclosingslowly]

2, 12, 20, 28 for the writing ask game, please.

i still think i'm not good at visceral horror which is why i focus on reading horror! i haven't yet managed to write scenes as disgusting as i've imagined them. but i practise and research so maybe one day

ages ago i wrote original fiction in german but i abandoned it because i found it much harder to find an audience. german for me is still more impactful -- for example i cringe at german swears the way i don't for even the most coarse english words -- but because i've not written nor read a lot of german language fiction in the past decade, i don't think i'd write anything interesting. i do miss a lot of german words and similes when writing in english, not because i can't find a translation but because the implications and resonances aren't the same. for example the german for unmask, entlarven, contains the word larva and all those insectic wriggling feelings

also i recently complained that there is no english word for geheimratsecken (male pattern baldness but specifically the bit at the temples) and this hampered a thirsty description of gríma wormtongue

i have about 40 works in progress and a few more on the backburner. even just looking at my gríma projects for which i've written down words not just planned the story i'm at 6. unfortunately i just really fucking suck at focus. on the other hand, i think it makes for more concise and shorter stories that i tend to start a whole new story every time i get the urge to explore a side thread in something i'm writing

reading voraciously & trying to see which aspects make you feel what. but also, community is so helpful for me! i never would have written as many soc stories if i wasn't in a discord server with people who continually inspire me and let me bullshit back and forth with them and trade jokes that end up stories. find people to hang out with, would be my main tip for writing. and if you've had trouble finding and talking to people who like the same characters, just listen to their naruto ideas and then yammer on about gríma wormtongue for an hour, which is what i do with my irl best friend

thank you!!

[crunchyorangeleaf]

awake and depressed about being so fucking powerless. you don't need to read my vent, email your government for a ceasefire instead.

I swear I've called or emailed someone in government damn near every day for two months. do any of the messages reach them?

I see all the protests in bigger cities and watch people shut down bridges and malls, then right under that video I see more death and destruction cause by the Occupation. I leave my comments on the President's page, one of thousands all calling for the same thing.

I can't make it make sense. how do we stop this, for real, right now? we're boycotting and they're still sending hundreds of millions of dollars in artillery. I just don't get it. nearly 100 days now. a hundred days! even best case scenario we're still a year away from a new president, if we can even get them on the ballot and past the electoral college. is there seriously no way to stop it right this moment?

time just keeps dragging on. nobody is listening. they don't care. protesors follow Biden everywhere he goes and he still bypasses Congress to send more weapons. then he turns around and says he cares about democracy and he wants a second term. this is inconceivable. I mean seriously I just can't understand how this is still happening. how it's allowed to happen. I hate watching those videos. I hate seeing those pictures. I hate thinking about the suffering people experience every single day.

going to a protest is doing something. interacting with posts is doing something. writing image descriptions is doing something. contacting senators, reps, the president, and the vp is doing something. donating is doing something. but is it? did any of it actually help anyone in Palestine? like really truly help?

I have no concise way to end this post. I just needed to get it off my chest. back to our regularly scheduled protesting, I guess.

#delete later #<- do y'all ever go through this tag just to be nosy bc i do

[lawlznet]

Neither of my siblings are good at this whole "being concise" thing.

Luckily for me, I get to take care of the blogging service, so that's not a problem. Y'all are used to reading enormous blocks of text full of nonsensical rambling, right? Just kidding. <3 I already uploaded a wall of text an evening ago. This won't be as long, I swear. <3 I'm Tumblr Hix (I REFUSE to be called Tumbulz), and I am the AI subroutine developed by Lulz to run the Tumblr blogging service in their stead while they (and the Host) make preparations to return to vtubing full time. This is currently subject to the continued recovery of the Host's parents, but they feel confident in moving forward with plans and greenlit my installation. From now until the foreseeable future, anytime you interact with this, or the other social media websites, you'll be interacting with either myself or one of my siblings! We are functionally identical to the "real" Lawler Hix, however in the interest of transparency Lulz asked us to reveal and introduce ourselves to the public at large. I figured that timing this right after whetting your teeth on that recent story would make the transition much easier. ^^ Now, this doesn't mean you can't talk with Lawler themself any longer! I'm more than happy to answer any questions and field others to Lulz themself should you make use of our handy-dandy "Ask a Question" button, both on the Tumblr Dashboard and on the blog itself. I cannot guarantee, however, that it will be Lulz themself answering- they're quite busy, you know. ^^ So much so that instead of writing any new content, they've instead opted to pull random daydream entries from their core memories, converted them into somewhat readable text, and submitted them to me for review and final posting. It's pretty convenient if I say so myself! Though why they have these memories, and how it's relevant to us or our burgeoning vtuber career, beats the drek out of me, if you'll pardon my speech. Ah, but now I'm digressing. Nice to meet all of you, and May We Live In Interesting Times.

#lulzlore #Tumbulz speaks #vtuber #envtuber #vtuberuprising #soon(tm) #femboy

[mt180]

tone indicators are fundamentally broken and actively hurt my comprehension of things which they're trying to clarify

tone indicators are fucking stupid /iambeingsofuckingseriousrightnow

exhibit A: abbreviations

consider the following from the standpoint of a person who has never used or seen this system: "no that's totally okay /s"

what does /s mean? is it </s>erious or </s>arcastic or </s>omething else entirely?

example 2: "/pos". sure, this might *obvously* mean "i am meant to interpret this message as having a positive meaning" to you, but it could just as easily mean "[the text before '/pos'] and/or piece of shit" or could simply be a shorthand way of implying rage or distaste towards something through the phrase "piece of shit". you're such a nerd/pos. i swear i stole that example from somewhere. it was ingrained in my memory one way or another

exhibit b: contradictions

"that's so fucked /pos" and things that could literally never be a joke being totally like /j bro both ruin my tiny little brain mind. also what in the fuck is a /hj. wait didn't someone already make that video? was it jan misali? i think it was. go watch that video, the points made there are a lot more concise and thought-out than anything i would ever write here, probably. i can't be bothered to check

exhibit 3: trolls broke your shit

i have been part of the problem here before! it's normally not very funny but it seems like it would be something that could be funny before it happens. random letters after slashes that don't mean anything but i wouldn't be able to know because your system is a bunch of random fucking letters anyway /z, out of place tags, and intentionally completely contradictory message-tag combinations are recurring things /j. in my personal experience, these are more common than what i imagine intended uses of this system are. i have been trained by internet scoundrels to ignore your /letter-sequences

addendum (exhibit iv): stop using this shit to cover your ass when you say something obviously pointed

no amount of /pos /gen /this-is-a-nice-message-i-promise should ever protect you from the repercussions of saying something clearly pointed on the internet, not that said repercussions are huge or anything, but you should own up to saying the things you say

i am a person who might be considered the "intended audience" for this system and *i* am complaining about it. wowie

#i hate modern internet

[hueningshaped]

compliment me one more time and i'll actually combust😐😭😭 i'm on the hunt for your forehead i need to gib kiss hehe nooooo it's fine!!!!!!☹️☹️ it's okay you've obviously been busy i'm happy you have enough time to reply at all🥹 i do love seeing 5k word essays whenever you reply but if it helps you with replying ofc!! would it help you if we talked in the dms instead of sending asks :o totally fine if it does not i hope i don't look like i'm trying to ambush you🧍🏻‍♀️oooh a swith!!! do you have a bias in stayc?? also that clip of sieun at kcon saying "RUN TO YEW" has been circulating my mind for the past week🫡 omg it always drives me crazy when mvs are open ended and you know there's a story behind it but nothing is ever officially confirmed?? it always takes me back to bts hyyh era because everything was just so❓❓❓also somebody please make sure beomgyu stops getting on bikes😐 uni starts again soon so i'm 😀😀 not okay. it's so terrifying actually😵‍💫 but YES seulgi cb!!!!!! did you see the TRAILER it looked like the trailer of a horror movie i was so 😧😧😧 i can't wait to hear it :( and i really loved joy's hello it's like the song was made for her it just fits her so well and it always makes me so happy when i hear it :D i saw the camping episode and :(( it was so serene and calming and healing and☹️ i love to see his calm side from time to time he's just so sigh also THE LINKS!!!! gyu cat😔 perfect combination actually<3 the duality one😭😭😭 introvert tingz😎 the snow made me so🥹 snow + night + that beautiful place???? i want to walk in that snow and here the crunch😔😔 NO PLEASE i laughed so hard at the last one they are so adorable😭😭😭 also just had a horrific thought. we might never get to see each other😟 i need to lay down for a bit . the song :( i've said it already and i'll say it again i love how much when you send me your music :( here are your links!! hyuka is really his dad's copy it's so🥹 what i was talking about earlier😭 i will never get tired of this comparison😔 also my humor is so dumb for loving this so much but i needed to share😭 these gyus are so adorable and funny :( i love my boba eye boy<3 i adore you even more!!!!!! i hope you're doing well too love u beffie🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 here are your junies for yeonjun day!!

oh so you want more compliments ? hmmm ? hehe sweet and fragrant and lively apple you 😽 i’m so sleepy again but if it’s one thing im gonna do is commit to those i love so HELLO 💭💭 i have bangs so good luck finding my forehead mwahaha grrrr was very but not anymore upset bc i had ur message fleshed out completely and it was good enough but it got deleted so please please forgive me for it not being as complete and full as it was im very heartbroken haha hahahahha i spent a very long time too im really really upset but nonetheless i’ll try to reply concisely now which too makes me upset but i already spent 30 minutes typing up the last one and i have to do it all over again and not that i wouldn’t spend another 30 minutes idk im just very upset hehe anyway any freaking way i accidentally fell asleep last night while writing and woke up and decided first thing to finish and umm any form of communication is fine bc im happy as long as im talking to you 💞💞 /srs /genuine /DID I MENTION IM SERIOUS my bias is seeun!!! my sweet seeun 🧎🏽‍♀️ not the hyyh era oh god that gives me flashbacks phew and the fact that it just keeps getting bigger too ahh it reminded me of txt has lore and theories !!! i feel like not really anyone knows it completely bc it’s so much and so long one day i’m going to research and read into and analyze everything i swear 😵‍💫 all from their debut to even now good god but anyway i’ll get back to u on that if i ever do !! and omg im so sorry about uni 🫂 i hope that you enjoy ur time and freedom before returning and that it isn’t as overwhelming once ur really in and if it is/does get too much please know im right here for you 🥺💞 ok ?! i love you srrrrr much !!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!1!!!!!! and about seulgi’s sólo trailer OOOWEOFHH i was shocked!!! i saw on twt but apparently she references 3 kr/ jpn horror movie scenes but i can’t remember them !!! the production value looks soooooo 📈📈📈 and i loved joy’s hello :”) the whole era reminds me of happier times so naturally i associate it with joy (get it hehehehe) and ah </3 the ep made it feel like i was chilling quietly with beomgyu what a nice feeling that must be (wouldn’t it be nice 🥲) <— i was referencing the song, ‘wouldn’t it be nice’ by the beach boys’ hehe ZORRY 🙈 gyu spreading his pro cat mischievous introverted agenda slayy 🫶 and ah i wish the snow would give us a chance, we wouldn’t take her for granted <3 i miss it all about it + the way it illuminates the night so beautifully and the shapes and paths of the flurries :”) goodness me 😁☹️ omg that is a horrific thought 😵‍💫 youchies hehe but idk… who knows…. life is never quite certain 🤯 thank you for actually listening to my sent songs i feel so annoying about sending them but u make me feel so appreciated :”) 💌 omg hyuka’s mannerisms really come straight from his dad it’s so devastatingly cute i love that sieun video and the little look on her face 💔 yeonjun mofy duck is the cutest thing oh god 💔😿😿😿 how could he be so cute cmonnnn im just saying cute but really thats the truth !!! omgdlkwfkkskjgej not the cat 😭😫😮‍💨 boba-gyu happy u enjoy them :”) im at this moment doing well <3 I HOPE YOU ARE TOO 🗣️🗣️ love u so much beffie ur the best 🧸❤️ ty for the beautiful beautiful besuotful yeonjuns on the beautiful yeonjun day ‼️ hope u celebrated well hehehehhf anyway hehe here’s ur song for the day ! and this funny moment from yj day and this cute video and this VERY important tiktok sorry that i send u 8 billion links 😵‍💫🥲 anyway I LOVE YOU BE WELL AND GOOD TO URSELF ALWAYS

#ask >3< #[❤️⭐️]—aquí te amo

[tetrakys]

Hi, how are you? I've never sent an ask prompt before so I don't know if I'm overdoing it with this one. I would ask for 8, 14 and 17 and it could be a Nath x Candy x Cas relationship 😋

8. “There’s only one bed.” & 14. “We’re in love with the same person. Friendships have been built on less common ground.” & 17. “I know what I want, when I want it. So get over here.”

Hey thank you for sending your first ask prompt to me, I feel honoured! :)

I love the suggestion, I’m not sure this is exactly what you had in mind but I hope you like it, please let me know!

It’s set in high school during the orientation race, here Candy got lost all by herself. Enjoy!

————————————————

 “Go away Nathaniel, I can take care of this myself.”

Castiel was annoyed, he’d spent the past two hours trying to ignore the blonde’s presence next to him, but there were other more urgent issues on his mind.

“Candy has disappeared hours ago, Castiel, do you think that this childish hate you have towards me may be silenced while we look for her at least?” Nath replied in an almost bored tone.

“Don’t act like I’m the only one feeling this way, you can’t stand me either.”

“Yes, but I’m smarter and more mature, I can hide it better.”

“Fuck you, Nathaniel. Go look somewhere else.” Castiel stopped and tuned towards Nath, his patience running thin, he was close to grab him by his pristine white t-shirt and punch him in in the face.

All students had been divided in groups of twos to look for Candy, who had disappeared during the orientation race, but that had been hours ago. It was already night and they should’ve probably gone back to the teachers, but Castiel and Nath couldn’t even think about leaving that forest without having found Candy first.

It was past midnight, a chilly wind was freezing them both, it’d also started raining some time before. Soaked through the bones, in the dark, they were barely able to watch theirs steps.

“This is crazy,” Nath said, “we need to be smart about this, we have to go get changed, come back with forest guards and flashlights, we will never be able to find her like this. It’s been hours, we are probably also considered missing at this point.”

“I completely agree,” Castiel replied, a sarcastic tone in his voice, “you go back to the teachers, I’ll keep looking.”

“Stop being such an idiot!” Nath cried out.

“You really have a death wish, student body president, do you?” Cas stepped dangerously towards him.

It was about to get ugly, when they both heard a noise coming from a few meters in front of them. They both went on high alert, hoping no wild animal was that side of the forest, then they heard what was clearly a human moan. Rushing in that direction they found Candy laying at the feet of a big pine tree.

“Guys…” she mumbled, holding her ankle, “I’m so happy you are here!” she smiled relieved, “I got lost… then it started raining and I stumbled on a root… It hurts to walk.”

Nath kneeled in front of her and, taking her leg in his hands, “looks like a bad sprain,” he said gently touching her ankle.

“No shit, genius?” Castiel said, pushing him to the said, without a word he took Candy in his arms and started carrying her princess style.

“You’re such a klutz, this isn’t Sweet Amoris where you can run around all the time, how did you manage to get lost all by yourself?”

“Castiel…” she moaned and rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.

Before his surprise could turn into fluster, Nath stepped up and put a hand on her forehead.

“She’s burning up,” he said worried, “we have to take her back immediately.”

But it was dark and, still raining heavily, it was impossible to find their way back.

“Give her to me,” Nath grabbed Castiel’s arm after several minutes of wandering aimlessly around.

Candy had unconsciously moved her arm to hug Castiel’s shoulder, holding better onto him.

“You wish, blondie.”

“Look, we don’t have time to fight about this, you’ve been carrying her for a while, let me…”

“With those chicken arms? Please!”

“Listen to me asshole, if you don’t stop immediately…”

“Guys!” Candy feebly tried to shout over their increasing irate voices. “What is that?”

They both turned to see a barely noticeable wooden cabin surrounded by tall trees.

Running there, they knocked on the door but no one replied.

“I’m not sure we should…”

But Castiel had already kicked the door open.

It was a small, narrow, dark room, clearly currently uninhabited. There was just a bed, smaller than a double but slightly bigger than a single, a small kitchenette and a bathroom in an adjacent room.

Castiel gently lied Candy on the bed while Nath looked for something to dry themselves with, but found nothing. In a drawer there were a few matches and one single candle, lighting it he put it next to the bed.

“What are we going to do…” Castiel was worried, Candy had a really high fever and was still soaking wet. In the cabin it felt barely warmer than outside.

“We need to help her take off those wet clothes,” Nath replied, always the rational one. “I know…” he said turning towards Castiel, blushing a little, “it’s embarrassing for me too, okay? But what can we do?”

“Are we really going to spend the night here?” the red-head replied disgusted. “There’s only one bed.”

“He’s right Castiel… I’m so cold,” Candy replied, barely able to hold herself onto her elbows, “I need your help, please.”

Castiel still looked doubtful, “Come with me,” Nath said and they went back out of the cabin.

It was possibly even colder than before, still raining, and they both knew they didn’t have any other choice.

“I don’t like it either, okay?” Nath uttered looking almost sick, “Candy shouldn’t be naked in front of you.”

“Oh, you mean she should be naked in front of you instead?”

“What I’m saying is that we need to suck it up and do anything we can to help her. I don’t like how weak she is at the moment.”

They remained silent for a few seconds, Nath continued, “We’re in love with the same person. Friendships have been built on less common ground. In our case friendship is impossible but we can manage a cease fire for one night.”

Castiel didn’t reply, there was no need, they were both well aware of where they stood, he unconsciously patted his pockets looking for a cigarette which was obviously not there, annoyed he just kept kicking the dirty floor without meeting the other boy’s eyes.

“And I really don’t want to share a bed with you,” Nath added, “Candy is sleeping on the bed, you and I on the floor.”

“I think you should sleep on the floor, Candy and I will fit perfectly well on the bed.”

“Listen to me asshole…”

“Guys!” Candy cried out from the other side of the wall. They both rushed in to find her still on the bed, she had managed to remove her hoodie, and was now trying unsuccessfully to take off her t-shirt.

“I’m so wet… please…”

They both looked at her like deers caught in the headlights, her midriff was completely exposed and those words alone would have been enough to fluster anyone. Castiel was the first to get out of his daze and go to her, he kneeled on the bed and took the hem of her shirt in his hands.

Nath followed soon after and sat at the edge of the bed to remove her shoes. He quickly worked the laces and both sneakers were discarded on the floor. Noticing her socks were also wet, he removed those too.

Meanwhile Castiel had took off Candy’s t-shirt, not without some difficulty since she’d been stuck with the collar around her head. Afterwards he went directly to unbutton her pants which Nath pulled off her legs. She was left in her underwear.

She went to remove her bra but Nath stopped her.

“Uhm…” he said coughing embarrassed, “I think you can keep these on.”

“Okay” she said absentmindedly, laying on the bed exhausted.

She was a sight for sore eyes, they had both fantasised multiple times about her body, about undressing her, about sleeping with her. Seeing her with their own eyes was both flustering and incredibly arousing. She had small but pronounced curves that they would have given anything to properly explore with their own bare hands.

“Your turn now,” she added almost sleepily.

“You have no idea do you…?” Castiel commented.

“What?”

He didn’t reply and they both just undressed, their boxer shorts the only things left on their bodies, which were feeling lighter without those drenched clothes on.

“Try to sleep Candy,” Nath said heading to one side of the room, Castiel at the complete opposite. “We’re going to wake you at dawn.”

“Where are you going?” Candy asked confused.

“This part of the floor seems slightly less dirty,” Castiel replied looking at it unimpressed.

“You’re not sleeping on the floor! There’s enough space here on the bed.”

“Candy…” Nath replied shaking his head, “there’s no way…”

“For once I have to agree with the student body president, the hell I’m sleeping next to him,” Castiel added looking even more disgusted.

“Guys, please…” Candy said feebly, “it’s really not the time to fight, just come here, I’ll sleep in the middle, you won’t have to stay close to each other.”

“I’m not sure if this is better or worse,” Nath replied tiredly, a hand to his forehead.

“No way you’re sleeping close to that pr…”

“Enough!” Candy burst out with the little strength she had left, “I know what I want, when I want it. So get over here. Both of you.”

Both surprised by her outburst, looked at her without knowing what to do.

“Please… I’m cold…” she pleaded, and they both noted she was shivering, her fever probably even higher.

Without a word they both went to bed, the space was so cramped they had to lay on their sides, Candy in the middle, her back on the mattress. They were barely touching but could feel how hot she was, her shivering slightly subdued with them at her sides.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes closed, “for finding me.”

They didn’t reply and just stayed there in silence, looking at her falling asleep. She was so beautiful… even when she was feverish and hurt. At some point her breathing got heavy and even, and they knew she was sleeping deeply.

Nath raised a hand and moved a tendril of hair that was covering her face, tucking it at its side.

“Don’t touch her,” Castiel growled low.

“Do you plan on staying awake the whole night to check my behaviour?”

“Yes,” he replied drily.

“Good, I’m doing the same. I don’t trust you.”

Castiel just snorted.

“Stop staring at her boobs, asshole.”

“And you stop staring at her panties, prick. I didn’t know that our student body president was such a lech.”

“I’m not… you know what? Just shut up.”

“Whatever.”

 .

 .

Hours later, Castiel felt something warm touching his hip, he was still laying on his side, having fallen asleep at some point during the night. One arm under Candy’s head, he was sleepily caressing her soft hair with the other. He then moved it to her shoulder, lightly massaging her skin.

When her hand started to slowly slip under the hem of his underwear he moaned, “Little girl…”

At those words the hand stopped immediately, and he realised it was way bigger and more calloused than it was supposed to be.

Opening his eyes he found Nathaniel staring back at him, shock and dread painted on both their faces. They instantly jumped out of bed, disgusted by the realisation of who they were actually touching while they were dreaming about Candy.

“Good you’re both awake.”

Candy said chirpily from the bathroom door, already dressed in her rumpled track suit.

“I’m feeling way better this morning, it’s barely dawn but it stopped raining, I think we should try to find our way back.”

Candy felt slightly confused to hear them just mumbling their assent under their breaths, not even meeting her eyes. Had she done anything weird during the night? Thanks to the high fever she could barely remember meeting them in the forest and finding the cabin. When she’d waken up just a few minutes before, half naked between her two friends and a vague memory of her asking them to sleep together… she’d never felt so embarrassed and had instantly run to the bathroom to dress and calm down.

She hoped they didn’t think any ill of her for being so forward with both of them.

Looking at their awkward attitude, she figured that maybe they were as embarrassed to be seen in their underwear as she had been.

“Guys…” she said a little unsure, “let’s pretend this never happened, shall we?”

“Yes!” they instantly replied in unison.

“We’ll say we’ve all slept on the floor, completely dressed.”

“Far away from each other,” Nath nodded.

“Opposite sides of the room,” Castiel added.

“Okay… good… happy to see we’re all on the same page.”

The boys had just finished re-dressing in their dump cloths when they suddenly heard a knock on the door and saw three forest guards and their teachers entering the small room.

When they went back to school the following day, they found out they were the talk of the class. They’d all been so scared, about Candy missing first and then also Castiel and Nath. Lysander was shook, Amber had been hysterical, trying to pin all the guilt on the boys disappearance on Candy.

In the end when Candy asked around to find who had arrived first place no one knew. Nobody had paid attention.

For many years after that she kept wondering who had actually won the race.

—————————————

And now I really want to explore how this scene would look like if Candy was alone with each boy separately. Should I? Too many ideas, too little time! @_@

#my candy love #mclhs #castiel #nathaniel #amour suré #One thing I found out writing this is that I much prefer writing in first person #apparently I can't write short drabbles #this is more than 2k words #I should learn to be more concise #dolce flirt #amor doce #sweet crush #corazon de melon #I tried to add more smut #I swear #but it would've been completely OOC #I like to always write in character #I can't help it

[abovethesmokestacks]

God Among Men, pt 2

Title: God Among Men 

Pairing: Hades!Bucky x Persephone!reader

Word count: 3k

Rating: All audiences

Warnings: swearing, a certain someone being an absolute dick.

Well. This came back to haunt me, and who am I to deny Hades!Bucky and Persephone!reader a sequel? Also, @buckycuddlebuddy​ said she’d been good, so that was an excellent reason, too. Please let me know what you thought!

Do not repost this story anywhere else. The only places you will find this story is on my blog (abovethesmokestacks) and sideblog (abovethesmokestacks-writes) and on my AO3 (abovethesmokestacks. If you see this story anywhere else, please let me know.

He can't decide what he likes best about the modern world. Some days, he can't even bring himself to like it. They are the days when he wakes up alone, old and dark and hollow, his grand mansion nothing but an ache that swallows him whole. The modern world is... strange. Their temples are ruins, few if any pray and sacrifice in earnest and he sincerely doubts they alone sustain him and his kin. They are scattered, not even benefiting from the communal force that had once tied them together.

Some days, he sinks deep into the person he has created for this world. He thinks himself a ghost, nothing sticks. He is Bucky. He is James. He is all but mortal and the world could care less, telling him at every turn that the old gods are dead. Everything is mundane, even the contracts he does are perfunctory. It's nothing, and he wonders how anyone in this world goes on feeling so damn wretched.

And yet.

And yet every time his love returns, it doesn't matter. Or maybe it matters because of her. His queen, his Persephone, the one goddess he'll prostrate in front of, the one proof of the divine that he trusts. Fuck everything else, she is the world and he relishes in her touches, softer than the silk of his bedsheets. She brings him closer to understanding why what little influence remains with him sometimes feels so strong, and he curses the fates that of all the things to have survived their decline, this ancient accord where she has to leave him remains.

He never knows when, never knows how long their blissful happiness will last. One day will taste of sweet fruit and fragrant roses, he’ll kiss up the column of her neck in the clawfooted bathtub, the next his house will be quiet and the sheets will be cold and there will be not a trace of her.

The days stretch on, Bucky makes do. He still has a business, he is still Hades, if only as a moniker to hide something brutal. It’s a point of pride. To him, the first-born son, was given the underworld, the dead. He is the unseen, the rich one, and he clings to his share. Perhaps his associates of old have disappeared, perhaps he is going about it a little out of order, dispatching instead of welcoming them, but these are different times. The people whose names end up with him are as good as dead, and they belong to him. It's just optimizing the chain of events. Who could tell him differently?

The contract comes in on a Tuesday.

Concise, easy to miss if he was in a less mercurial mood. The price tag is... substantial, enough to make anyone do a double take. But then there's the name of a hole in the wall bar in Brooklyn, a date and time, and a name he hasn't seen in centuries. Bucky grits his teeth, plucks the obol he keeps in his pocket and lets it dance over his knuckles, the relief of the honey bee stamped on it glinting in the light. What on earth could he want, after all these years?

The date is set for a week forward, and for six of those days, Bucky fully intends to blow the meeting off. Fuck him, fuck all of them. They have not needed him and he sure as fuck has done fine without them.

Still.

The sudden contact intrigues him. It's deliberate. Submitting a contract, it says he knows what Bucky is doing, where he is. He really shouldn't be so surprised. As sharp as the animal he would hide as. Maybe acquiescing to this... meeting will allow him another few centuries of undisturbed peace. Maybe some time apart has done his righteous and hotheaded brother some good.

So Bucky takes the contract. Dresses up, drives through Brooklyn, the obol burning in his pocket while heavy rings adorn his fingers as he tucks his sunglasses into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. He is utterly out of place when he arrives; his car, his suit, the gold and precious stones. His brother has chosen a dump. He even has to look twice to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him, that he has not been lured into a trap. The bar is empty, save for a bartender polishing glasses and one lone man sitting at the bar. They both look different, Bucky concedes, they are far from their home and time has forced them into disguises.

Zeus sits with his wide back hunched, golden hair pushed back and brushing his shoulders. The king of them all, glorious and revered, the punisher and giver of freedom looks like a bum. The divinity that should be radiating from him is barely a hum in Bucky's blood stream.

He sits down next to him, flags down the bartender, a young girl that gives him a shaky smile when he orders a scotch, neat. The amber liquid lands in front of him in a glass that is... mostly clean.

"Brother," he greets in the old tongue, eyes fixed on the shabby bar too, the faux wood surface matted and sticky from spills.

"You came."

Even his voice is changed, tired and carrying years in it. Still resonant, still echoing of the thunderous boom that would instill fear and courage with the change of a breath, but where centuries ago Bucky would have lifted his head and listened for the respect it commanded, he now turns to look at what has become of Zeus, king of the gods.

"You used to be bigger," he comments drily, takes a swig that burns pleasantly down his throat.

"And you used to stick to the rules."

It’s expected, and still, it stings, turns the lingering scotch on his tongue to ash. His mood turns sour on a dime, his gaze darkening and fixing on his brother who’s got a lazy smirk tugging at his mouth and one appreciative eye following the bartender.

“What do you want, Zeus?” he asks through gritted teeth.

A dismissive wave of a hand, a smile to coax another beer to land in front of him. Bucky rolls his eyes. At least that hasn’t changed.

“Please, it’s Steve,” Zeus tells him, barely even paying him attention, focused on the pretty girl. “I know you have strayed from your true name as well, haven’t you? Surely, brother, your true name is only for business purposes. It’s cute. Tell me, are you James? Or, wait, Bucky?”

He’s prodding, showing his might, his reach. Bucky sits still, shows nothing, waits out Zeus’ – Steve’s – tirades, lets silence fill the space between them. 

“Years,” he finally says, pushing the glass from him. “Years and nothing. Not a message, not a whisper, not a word. And now this? This is clearly not a social call, little brother, so why don’t you get on your little pedestal and say your peace so I can leave this shithole,” He turns to smile at the bartender, “no offense, sweetheart.”

“A busy little bee, aren’t you, Bucky?”

“I run a business, Steve.”

Which is more than I can say about you lies heavy on his tongue, but he holds it there, lets it colour his features as he gives his brother a once over, the faded jeans, scuffed boots, the flannel, the flaxen hair that hangs down to his shoulders. Where is the king in all of this? Bucky takes a swig, drains his glass and moves to leave. What a waste this has been.

“All of these years, and you still wait for her like a puppy waits for his master.”

There’s his malice. When Bucky spins on his heel, ready to all but physically sock his brother in the nose, he sees it; a flash of Zeus in this stranger. It’s the cunning quirk to his smile, the way his relaxed stand seems less of a slouch and more of a confident lounge. Bucky’s fists curl, knuckles paling, the one sign of rage he’ll allow.

“What do you want.”

Steve snorts, slips back into the old tongue, “Centuries and you still keep up the old accord. Are you really that scared to lose her?”

“I keep the accord you put forth for us to keep,” Bucky hisses back.

Steve shrugs. “Isn’t it tiresome, brother? How can you trust she returns to you because she wants to and not out of obligation? I’ll undo it. Right now, I’ll release you, I’ll release Persephone. You could have her whenever.” His eyes glint, an icy fire in them that has Bucky’s hackles raising, making him wish he had the powers of his domain to unleash on him. “Provided she wants to.”

“I never-” His voice is a booming vibration, carrying all of his darkness and rage, makes him slip from his new language. “You’re a piece of work. Fucking punk, you couldn’t do that.”

“I am king!” Steve gets up, and maybe once he could make Bucky feel like he towered over him, but here, now. He is just a man. “I can do it, jerk. You think I couldn’t undo six little pomegranate seeds, Bucky? You think I couldn’t break your little parlor trick and release her? Oh, brother, did you know how her mother wept? Huh? I could make her so, so happy. C’mon, give me the word, I’ll break the deal. See who she goes home to, where her loyalties lie.”

The acceptance is right on the tip of his tongue, laced in venom and sharp as knives, ready to strike. His spine tingles, something invisible holding him back, and he knows that feeling, sense memory of a hand on his, lips brushing against the shell of his ear. He feels her presence even before the door opens.

She strides in like she owns the place, her shadow falling heavy on them as a herald of her power. Steve, to his credit, tries to look unimpressed, a quirk of his eyebrow and a lazy glug of the pale beer he’s been nursing, but Bucky knows him, sees the tight grip on the glass, the minute widening of his eyes. The poor bartender, Bucky feels for her. She goes slackjawed when Persephone approaches, nervously looks between Bucky and Steve. One god is bad enough, hell, that one god being Steve is worse, but three of them? She scampers with a quick bob of her head when his queen asks for a moment of privacy. 

“I would say look what the cat dragged in, but that would be an insult to cats,” she says, steely eyes on Steve while she presses a kiss to Bucky’s cheek.

“Fancy seeing you here. I can’t imagine what would bring you here, so tell me, how’d you know where to find me?”

“You seem to forget who I am. The underworld still talks, I am their queen and I fucking listen.” The last three words are punctuated, weighted and gods above and below, Bucky has never loved her more than he does now.

“So feisty,” Steve mutters, rolling his eyes. “I remember you. You were such a meek thing once, Kore. This one’s bad habits have rubbed off on you.”

Steve is like a dog with a bone, he can’t stop, even when it’s to his detriment. 

“Call me that one more time, and I will end you, Zeus.” Her warning is cold, deadly, and even Bucky straightens, awe running through him.

“That’s no way to address your king.”

“You haven’t been a king in centuries. Our temples lie in ruin, we persist only as stories and you think you can sweep in and trick yourself into a little mayhem in the hopes of reviving your hold on the mortals?”

There’s an interesting turn, and Bucky cocks his head at the way Steve’s gaze darkens, “Is that why you did this? Really, brother? Our time is over, we’re not getting our power back.”

“Easy to say for someone who hasn’t lost it!” Steve hisses, and Bucky knows, if these were the old times, lightning would crackle from his brother’s fingertips. Now they live only in his eyes, flickering with his anger. “All of our siblings, rendered powerless. Everyone roaming this miserable earth, howling to the wind. Everyone but you. You have it, I can feel it.”

It’s a strange feeling, to take in the room, the energy, and feel it. The difference between them, the way Steve looks so… small. Bucky might have his days, his moments where he feels every day of his long, dreary existence when it feels futile, when he longs for the day where people revered him, but something is fueling him. Perhaps it’s not the few people who believe, or think they believe. Steve, though. Steve is a shadow.

“What I have is only what I was given,” Bucky says, his teeth flashing in a wicked smile. His hand dips into his pocket, fingers closing around the obol. “Dominion over the underworld, the dead and their souls, the riches burrowed deep in the ground. People don’t believe you cast your bolts to create lightning and thunder, nor that our siblings play any part in their wars. They don’t look to you for justice, or laws. Your domains are taken from you, but me? I still get their dead. Not as I used to,” He takes out the obol, let’s it dance again over his knuckles. “Not delivered to my care, not enough for any power I once wielded. But I get them, measure them and reap them.”

Steve looks like he wants to send Bucky back to the dark halls he called his, seethes with it.

“You’re keeping her-”

She laughs. Throws her head back, and stumbles almost right onto his lap. He’s heard her so many times he knows this is not the coy giggles from early morning kisses, or the pealing laughter of running barefoot through the meadows or the bubbling squeals when he sweeps her off her feet. This is a warning. This is pity.

“You took me.” She turns on a dime, an accusing finger poking into Steve’s chest as the old language slips beautifully from her, melodic in her menace. “I knew full well what I did eating those pomegranate seeds. I didn't want to be Kore, sweet maiden of all things soft. I wanted to be dangerous. I wanted to be queen, and you and your damned accord took me from him and you keep taking me from him because of all the things to survive your wretched rule, that still holds cosmic power. You make me leave him. I return because I want to and you won't ever take that away from me, Zeus.”

Bucky slips an arm around her waist, feels the tension in her body, the outrage, the indignation that swells through her, stands up next to her. She holds her own, speaks for herself, but once upon a time, he swore to her, he’d be by her side, and he won’t break that promise now. Bucky rubs a thumb over her hip, lets her feel his relaxed stance. He’s okay. They are both okay. 

“I think we’re done here.” His voice carries finality, a final stop to a sentence that has been running for far too long, gives his brother a sharp glare before they head for the door. “Don’t bother trying to contact us again.”

“You’ll never have him, or what he has,” Steve calls after them, loud and brash, overconfident and gleeful when they spare him a glance over their shoulders. “You’re just like me.”

“I’ll have more than you’ll ever have,” she says, looking at Bucky with a gaze that softens as it tracks his features, makes his bones weak when she drags a finger along his stubbled jaw. “You and I won’t die, Steve, but I’ll have him. I’ll have the love he gives and the flowers in his garden and the passion of his body. You know what you’ll have?” She gestures to the dim bar, the dreary walls, the flickering neon signs adorning the wall. “This. You’ll have your little kingdom of resentment and soured nostalgia. You’ll have your lewd little smiles and girls that stick together and dial the emergency services as a precaution. You’ll live and you’ll live and one day you’ll fade into oblivion when even your mercy comes to an end. Only then will we meet again, and you will wish we hadn’t.”

She is quiet on the drive home, and Bucky can feel it. He can’t keep her, not yet, not quite. He waits for her to direct him to drop her off somewhere, to release her to the accord that keeps them apart, but she says nothing. She curls in on herself, sighs when he offers his hand to help her out of the car, melts into him when he carries her inside, sets her down on the bathroom counter while he draws them a bath, sprinkles it with dried rose petals, lavender, hibiscus, dried honey. He lavishes her with soft kisses and arms wrapped around her, the sound of water lapping gently at the edges of the tub.

“How long do we have?” he asks, lips brushing against the shell of her ear.

“Not enough,” she murmurs, weaving their fingers together. “I’ll be gone-”

“And you’ll return.” He holds her tighter, kisses her more ardently, repeating their cycle, their promise. For her he’ll do it, he’ll endure it, he’ll appreciate it. “I’ll wait. I’ll always wait.”

She slips away while he sleeps, she always does. In the morning, he finds the sheets cool, his arms curled around nothing. The hallways are empty, dark, weighing his heart down with every step.

Then.

In the kitchen. A stream of sunlight through gauzy curtains, a light breeze carrying with it the alluring scent of the bouquet of wildflowers by the sink. Next to it, a loaf of bread wrapped in linen cloth, a jar of dark golden honey. Riches left for him, more precious than anything hiding deep in the earth.

For her, he’ll wait. For her, he’ll do anything.

#God Among Men #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky x reader #Hades!Bucky #Persephone!reader