#I have a hard time starting new books

[blyszczopies]

btw last night i had a dream that i had 3 rabbits that were very mean and were biting all the wires that kept spawning. typical dream stuff. you think you solved a problem but its gonna be a sisyphus work until you finally wake up

#im weirdly talkative today. i fell asleep so easily last night which feels so new to me #being stuck at this home and only having to show up for a class once a week ruins your (already bad) sense of time to the point of having #hard time falling asleep and it gets worse with every night #i started trying doing different kinds of stuff before going to sleep to get tired/wind down enough to fall asleep #i tried coloring books. crosswords. sudoku. solitaire #but seems like shiny hunting works best. will see how it goes tonight #notes app

[glove23]

violet and xaden portrait art that I'll post tmrrw and I'm just...... obsessed with them. I've read fourth wing twice and iron flame 3 times in the past month.

I'm. so normal

#fourth wing #iron flame #the empyrean #i just????? i truly have a hard time thinking about anything else #and the thought of even trying to start a new book is #laughable dkshdjsjs #whats fun are the criticisms i have for the book in theory should make me like it less #but alas. im just obsessed #who doesn't fucking love dragons man #im on my third reread of fourth wing #dain is currently yelling at violet about not being able to keep her seat #right before carr....ya know #anyways i dont know anyone who has read these books #so if u feel like being insane with me #drop a line

[elvenmoans]

read a gay orc romance trilogy (the orc prince by Lionel Hart) and find it funny and sweet how the orc guy turns down sex the first time bc they don't know each other well enough yet (arranged marriage), then just before the series climax (hah) the orc guy nuts in the MC and then immediately starts crying just love when big scary guys subvert expectations and cry during sex bc they love their partner so much

#nsft text #I have mixed feelings on the series #loved the first two but then the author apparently took some bad critism to heart bc it went from a clean simple style #to taking a HARD turn to a more detailed style that the author was CLEARLY less experienced with. #took ti from 'this has no right to be so great' to something I found painful enough to set down for weeks on end #there was halfway into the last book where the author seemed to have figured it out but that was NOT an appropriate time to try out a #new prose style. THE LAST BOOK YOU CHANGE STYLE????????? WHAT THE FUCK #ignoring that my main issue was smut got repetitive and the orc got too detached to his homeland WAY too easily #tfw u get elf bussy so good u immediately start thinking about the elf country's needs more than ur own where ur family is #but the characters were very delightful and fun together #its one of those romances which you NEED to mesh with the main character's personalities or you WILL get bored #I liked them

[billpottsismygf]

I've just started Jekyll & Hyde Weekly to replace the Dracula shaped hole in my life, but I want to know if anyone is doing a serialised Dickens substack or if I'm going to have to make one myself

#jekyll and hyde #Jekyll and Hyde Weekly #dickens #charles dickens #I'm currently reading David Copperfield and it's so so good and I just really love Dickens #and the fact that his work was genuinely originally serialised particularly lends it to this new trend #I did find a very cool website with details of the dates that different sections of novels were serialised (including Dickens) #a lot of them were over years so if we did it on the original timescale it would be quite an undertaking #but maybe it could be started with one of his shorter works #idk #someone tell me please if they know of one already existing #mine #books #also if I were to do it probably I should do it with one I've already read #so maybe a tale of two cities even though that one's not one of my favourites #or hard times isn't too long #I have no clue how you make a substack but I'm very intrigued by it and reckon it's possible to figure out #dickens daily

[loverboybrightsideghost]

neat how in the book, crowley is at his lowest when he finds the burning bookshop. he always tries to maintain his Very Cool Guy persona but when he's in the bookshop he's literally described as being as far from Cool as can be. when he's very sad and very pissed off about his closest friend being gone.

#something something he tries to maintain his cool guy persona but his love for aziraphale is stronger #i mean at that point in the book crowley's like okay fuck this #i don't remember very clearly but i'm p sure at that point crowley after having found the book he's like. alright. tadfield. adam young. #did he even know what he was gonna do what he got there cuz i'm not sure that he did i think he just started driving #he was like fuck. we're fucked. but then he was like what the hell let's go out with a bang at least and just fucking DROVE #he did get a new pair of sunglasses though those were a must #'crowley was an optimist. if there was one rock hard certainty that had sustained him through the bad times...it was the utter surety that #he would come out on top that the universe would look after him' #he's literally just like me fr #what was this post originally about #oh yeah #crowley. character of all time #i don't feel like analyzing this further i'll do that tomorrow probably #bc i really truly have been rotating this in my head for the past few days #bluebird.txt #good omens #crowley's literally my bestest friend in the whole wide world

[classical-vanity]

One thing I find really aggravating about myself is that I never finish things

#i just start stuff and then never finish them #hobbies mostly I suppose #like I started a book back in 2020 and I had under 100 pages left #I did finish it this year #took me 3 years to actually finish it #it’s actually one of my all time favorite books too #I have a paint by numbers started and I keep thinking on starting a new one #rather than finishing this one I have which is like 80% done #and it’s more than just small things like this #wanted to learn Italian and I started a notebook with notes and stuff #haven’t opened it or made any progress in ages #I guess it’s my lack of discipline and dysfunctional perfectionism #anyway #gonna stop rambling now #this has just been bothering me lately #and I should really do something about it because it’s no one’s fault but my own #it’s just so hard but i don’t think it’s good long term to just stay like this #I don’t like it #tbd later

[andyundan]

I just found a book I’ve spent the last six years searching increasingly desperately for and now I don’t know what to do with myself

#like obviously read it #this book was SO fucking hard to find #I was on multiple forums #I contacted multiple libraries #I contacted multiple library SYSTEMS #I was typing shit into Google that I thought would get me on an fbi watchlist #so many books I thought could be the right candidate but weren’t #and I was starting to believe I either imagined it or I was smushing parts of other books together #you know how I fucking found it??? #I didn’t remember the author or the title but I remembered the cover #I found a news article and I was like hmmmm this name feels sooo familiar to me but idk why #so I investigated and I SWEAR TO GOD my heart stopped when I saw the EXACT COVER FROM MY MEMORY #I was so ready to give up and I have many times and now it’s just there in my face I’m sobbing #honestly surprised by how well my memory recorded this book #like the cover was exactly as I pictured it even though I forgot the author and title

[keeps-ache]

honestly.

#just me hi #okay so i have this very insistent problem where i can't finish things #can you tell yet? i start a project and then i just get bored or Something #which Sucks!!! i want to finish them!! i Want to be done and to know i can finish things!!! #but i just CAN'T #it happens with projects and with shows and with books and with cleaning too sometimes #it happens when i write and when i'm sitting and when i'm sleeping and when i'm singing and when i'm walking to nowhere #it's just There!! i can't finish it doesn't matter how short or how easy or how wonderful and happy it could make me feel i can't Finish #if it's Hard the sheer number of steps required to even get from here to there overwhelms me. the predicted length of time is just the #finishing blow #i Want to finish i Need to stop the story. but i just caaaaaaaaaan'tttttt #it's a whole joke in the home actually‚ 'oh you've started another story? ha! same as always huh?' #which yes is funny but also i'm so tiiiiiiiired of always starting over #i love it i love building new things but once i have the finished product in my mind there is no allure‚ no appeal to actually finishing th #Real Thing !! #maybe that's why i like art and i can finish pieces‚ because the image is always shifting. it's like liquid #i dunno i'm just kinda frustrated!! years and years and i still can't finish anything :/ #maybe one day one day one day #urghhh #//okey uhm. ... :3 #i'm going to do a small thing now‚ and i'm Going to finish it #:>

[wings-of-angels]

Im so so bad at keeping up with Dracula daily

#as SOON as they introduced new characters i started to struggle #sorry i already have a hard time rememebring names of people IRL i do NOT remember who is who when they keep introducing 2 new people 😭😭 #i get them confused and then i feel bad but also because its online i dont have the same access or motivation to go back to the prev letter #like i would if it was a physical book #:((( #someone pls tell me who everuone is im struggling rn #max's rambles

[waugh-bao]

*

#the last two weeks have been mental #I passed in my last paper for this term on the 24th #which means I’m officially done with the first year of my PhD #and I got news yesterday that I got a high pass on my French translation exam #so I only have to take one more test (could be in Russian or Portuguese or Hebrew or Arabic. my choice based on what I already have) to #finish my language requirements #[which is one of those things that doesn’t seem like a big deal but you can’t go to prospectus defense without it done] #and to multiply the crazy #the Friday before last #I got news that a proposal is submitted to a call for chapters (which I 100% thought I would be turned down on) was accepted #so I’m going to have a whole 40-50 page research project brought out as a chapter in a book by a major U.S. university press #never mind that I’m leaving in 2 weeks #to travel around Europe and Asia for the next 3 months doing research work and visiting friends #I was at such a low point at the start of this term 2 or 3 months ago #burned out and not feeling good about my work and just generally having a time of it with everything #but it feels like everything has turned around so drastically in such a short amount of time #and pushing myself through the bad/hard parts was worth it to come out the other end #anyway I’m rambling #but it’s been amazing to get things to look forward to and move towards making real accomplishments #especially after not sleeping more than 5 hours a night for like 9 months #not the stones #me stuff

[somelazyassartist]

Sometimes you just don't sleep for 3 days because you're too busy weeping over the fact that a 111 year old mail ship at the bottom of the Atlantic will probably completely erode within your lifetime. for fun

#I've been trying to dig out my books and documentaries and memorabilia since i want to start reading up on it again #this ship was such a huge part of my life for such a long time #(to the point where when meeting new people sometimes my parents had to actively tell me not to bring it up in conversation lol) #because for like 5-6 years of my kid-to-preteen life it was the Big Thing my autistic ass brain latched onto #i managed to find 7 of my books‚ 2 cds‚ a vhs‚ a dvd‚ and two of my postcards to display with my new titanic coal hourglass my mom got me #but I'm sad i haven't managed to find the rest of my collection yet‚ i know i have more books and documentaries and posters and stuff #i know for a fact i didn't get rid of at least most of my collection #but I'll keep an eye out for em #they're bound to be somewhere in my garage‚ i just need to figure out what box they'd be in #but um. yes I'm very emotional about this particular boat and its occupants at the moment #but also i should probably take a nap I've spent the last 3 days pretty much just digging out and reading through my books #i haven't really slept much and i have stuff to do today lmao #I've just been so violently hit with this hyperfixation resurfacing that it's hard to think of much else at the moment lmao

[shvr]

feeling extra lonely tonight

#tryign to make friends at work is hard esp when u hardly see each other bc schedule/dept conflicts #havent seen this guy im trying to ask out in like a week and a half and last i saw him we talked like 2 minutes bc we were both on the clock #n the other friend im making i usually just see at the tail end of my shift cuz they start later #n now that im working books i just dont see anyone. periodt #im not the kind to abandon my post to visit a dept i have no business in so its always like. well i sure hope we see each other ! #MIGHT see one tomo if im lucky im gonna try to make conversation for more than 2 min this time wish me luck #if i dont see him i wont for like . another week #maybe longer #what was my personal tag again #''but marrow you can make friends in places that arent work'' thats so much HARDER #and ive tried. maybe not enough times but it sucks cuz most ppl just dont really pique my interest #too many times there have been ppl at work i have been interested in getting to know but i wasnt proactive enough abt interacting w them #and then they stop working there and its like whelp never seeing them again #so im trying to be more forward and active when i like someone. its fucking HARD but its working i think. maybe #''marrow what abt those opportunities youve had to hang out with new ppl that were enjoyable'' #well thank you for asking dear voice in my head; those ppl i met were nice but they were not really ppl i was interested in knowing. ty #i am just an unlovable little prick surrounded by equally unlovable people

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

13 days until chain of thorns. it’s going to fix me i’m telling you. seeing cordelia is going to be so healing you don’t even understand

#thank god for the shadowhunter chronicles or i wouldn’t have anything to be obsessed with and weird about all the time constantly #well. i’m not THAT weird about it. i do think about other things it’s not like the horrors when all i ever talked about was merlin #i wonder what day of the horrors it is. when’s day 200? #my anniversary of starting the show is coming up in two months i know that much #anyway it’s nice to have a fallback obsession for when you don’t have something completely stupid to spend all your time thinking about. #well actually i am technically mid obsession with now you see me but it’s normal i’m being normal about that #i just need to rewatch danny at least once a week or i’ll die. but i’m normal #anyway. i think tsc was a good investment to make at 12. it’s served me well <3 near impossible to get into nowadays for new people tho #obviously doable with effort and time and real love for the game #most people don’t have that though so it’s hard not to gatekeep #anyway. cordelia is going to fix me. unless the book is bad and then i’ll be upset for years #i don’t think it will be bad though i think the plot will be ridiculous but getting to see all my guys happy in the end will be lovely #however i WILL have to suffer though bad plot and stupid miscommunication and love triangle BULLSHIT to get there #god this is easily cassie’s WORST love triangle. i mean seriously. james cordelia and matthew. seriously. cassandra you can do better #it’s really just so horrible like WHO wants cordelia to be with matthew. #matthew might be dead by the end of that book and personally i won’t care if he is. cassie hasn’t done shit to make ME like him since 2014 #beth.txt

[nataliekabra]

the number of times ive come across a sapphic book with the perfect blurb and premise

"dark academia retelling of macbeth with a close knit group of morally grey disabled main characters who all happen to be gay set at a boarding school"

"found family of queer theatre kids put on a school production of les mis and the hopeless sapphic stage manager is convinced she's cursed by the theatre lords and tries desperately not to fall for the lead in the play"

"lesbian writer goes on a mission to track down her favourite lesbian author who made her feel seen as a queer teen in love with her best friend in the 50s and explore her identity and connection to said author over generations in a love letter to lesbian pulp fiction"

"bi girl goes on a trip to a youth group camp in mexico and explores her sexuality in an informative, sex-positive book for queer teens"

"oblivious awkward bi girl pen pals bond over punk music in the 70s"

"sapphic high school sweethearts explore a long distance relationship when they go to college, where the genderqueer protagonist finally finds their trans found family and feels seen"

and then i find out it's by robin talley:')

#anti robin talley #i just. try to avoid her now but it's so hard #why is she always so close to getting it right but then spins off centre #and even with her books that dont make me uncomfortable #like melody mcintyre or as i descended #theyre so boring they have the best premise ever and im so excited for them and i just cant #so i dont want to get my hopes up anymore #and thats not even getting started on the. weird ass eyebrow raising shit shes written #and that shes also written a historical book about a black girl falling in love with her racist bully like this is actually the premise #*they both need to get over their prjudices of each other* apparently i will never understand how that book is so popular #i hate this we need an author who writes these books (not the racist white saviourist one the others) who actually. does it well #it would literally mean everything to me the number of times ive picked up one of her books not seeing its by her #im so sure itll be a new fav and then. ugh #lesbian #sapphic #sapphic books #queer lit #its the way she feels so entitled to writing other peoples experiences and completely botches them up? among other things #robin talley #as i descended #the love curse of melody mcintyre #pulp #our own private universe #music from another world #wlw #wlw books #bisexual