#I should take it on my own pace | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

viliantropy-art · 10 months

Text

Prayer

25 notes · View notes

jils-things · 5 days

Text

by the lighthouse.

dividers

#alright i suppose i should tell what's up lately! im mostly posting this like a mini update or whatever haha #so - since i made that last post on my disappearance i worked endlessly to finish my animation project and thank goodness it's finally over #i had to take a break from trying to be social here and just stay in my own space and i did that by having a smaller side blog to ramble #the project was very... tiring - definitely took out so much energy from me post physically and mentally and i was just frustrated everyday #so i just took my time to be alone with a few close people and i like to think im okay now?#i like to think so - since i was able to deliver a few commission drafts today so i'm relieved that im back to my usual pace #I'll post a few of my doodles here i did during my project just to fill the void haha #i've acquired a minor familial from another video game and i care for him a lot :] idk ill bother to talk abt it here but yeah thats funnn #also indulging a lil bit of t.n.m.n content as of late also thanks to my friend who knows abt it hehe #soo yeah! I don't know if ill be active like the usual but know that i'm doing alright now! hope everyone's doing okay too xoxo #ill probably still stay in my smaller blog for a little longer but will occasionally pop in here!#sooo yaaa #~ art #♥️ memoryshipping #also yea i think no.rton only had like. 10 days worth of being the blog brand here until i switched back to the usual guy lmaooo sorry 😔

38 notes · View notes

actual-changeling · 1 year

Text

if you do not follow/haven't seen my recent posts, i really recommend you read this one and this one before continuing, just to make it hit the right way.

also reminder that i have an ao3 right here (and it's not all pain, promise!)

sorry in advance :)

-

the more time passes, the easier it is for joel to talk about sarah. it still hurts, always will, an old bullet buried in his heart surrounded by scar tissue, but except for a few memories, words don't make him bleed anymore. tommy tentatively starts bringing her up once he notices that joel no longer flinches when he mentions her name, and it feels good to breathe life into their shared experiences, his brother the only one who comes close to understanding his pain but also the joy that colored their years.

ellie asks, too, just as hesitantly as tommy at first, but soon her curiosity takes over and not a day passes by without a question in-between sentences about his past. joel answers all of them, stories spilling from his lips and spinning themselves into a sarah-shaped web that he can share with her.

"she played soccer, right? when did she win her first competition?"

there's a few sports teams in jackson, and of course the soccer one caught her eye, making joel dread all the twisted ankles and bruised shins he was going to have to tend to. getting grass stains out of sarah's uniforms had always been a task and a half, and eventually they both stopped caring about it and just watched them pile up, turning white fabric a greenish-brown.

joel opens his mouth, the coffee cup in his hand hovering above the kitchen table, and then he stills, every muscle in his body turning to ice.

ellie's joel? is drowned out by the ringing in his hears, knuckles turning white and gripping the porcelain so tightly he can feel it crack in his palm, and he must have stopped breathing because his vision is growing fuzzy, black dots scurrying in his periphery.

joel lets the cup fall more than he sets it down, stomach turning, bile rising in his throat, because ellie asked him a question about sarah, his sarah, and he doesn't remember the answer.

it can't be, right? just a small gap in his memory, nothing big, it'll come back to him in an hour and he'll tell ellie about it later. but the panic squeezing his chest is real, terror slithering up his neck and curling around his ear whispering what else did you forget?

more than ever before, he tries to think back to all of it, from the first time he held her in his arms to the moment he buried her, and something odd happens to him when he finds that so much of it is. blurry. frayed at the edges, burned holes and white blotches obscuring important and unimportant details alike, memory an old role of film decomposing in the back of his mind.

the color of her baby blanket (blue, it had to be blue, he can't see), the first movie he watched with her, her favorite book in primary school, the way he did her hair on the first day of kindergarten, the friendship bracelets they made together, the posters on her wall, the dress she wore to her first dance (purple right? right?), memories surfacing as his panic cracks him open like an earthquake, and joel tries to cling to them, nails scratching at the parts that should be there but aren't until he tastes blood, desperation growing and growing because he is forgetting her.

"joel you're scaring the fuck out of me right now what's wrong?"

ellie's voice is distant, and he hates worrying her, hates the almost hysteric edge beneath it when she repeats herself, hands squeezing his shoulders, softly, first, then harder when he doesn't respond. all of the years that he didn't even know she existed, memories she has that he never will, all the firsts and buts and what ifs and failures that define a childhood, their innocent light fractured into vivid fantasies by the stained glass window of life. he has had all that and more with sarah, clung to it in the after to remind himself that she is real, that he is still a father even with his daughter buried by a nameless river.

it is all he has left of her, the childhood she never got to outgrow, and it's fading in a mind that has mourned her for longer than she got exist.

not for the first time, joel wishes he hadn't flinched, his brain worthless if it allowed sarah to fade away. without ellie bound to his heart, he would have tempted fate again for that alone.

-

"who hurt you" too many people to count and luckily tumblr lets me make it everyones problem

78 notes · View notes

echoesofadream · 4 months

Text

so many books on my tbr and also so many books i have started but not finished and im thinking about reading dostojevskij instead

#yes it IS to get closer to theo #i felt this way when i read tgf last time too. and read like first 100 pages of the idiot actually but then stopped bc illiteracy etc #but im thinking i should take advantage of this desire to get to know my theo more personally and read some russian literature #just like he in turn read it to get closer to boris #swag #i should! im rlly close to finishing little women #eel book may wait #other books may wait as welll #and the goldfinch will be like my bible now i read it on a whole othr dimension #will keep it on my nightstand and read excerpts for the rest of my life wont stop me from reading other books #that is if i get it for my birthday (doubtful but i will wish for it). i only have the same library copy now as i had in 2019 #(as in i borrowed again didnt steal it from the library promise) i never buy books but if i am to own one it should be this one #i read at a snails pace but want to read so many things this is difficult but lets not stress it should a fun thing not stressful #if i read a little everyday or try to #then 'completing books' and checking them off my list and feeling idk productive/accomplished or something doesnt matter #it will be like a lifelong open book instead #if that makes sense #that ill never be done with #and thats fun

16 notes · View notes

siiinfully · 8 months

Text

update. i had to give the puppies back. i didn't think things through and considered how they might affect my senior dog. as much as i want to keep them, i've chosen to return them to their mum and give them a chance to be taken in by someone who can give them the love and care that they deserve.

on the off-chance that my cousins decide to keep them for me ( i didn't ask them to do this ), i can still see them whenever i visit.

#( out of carnality )#( going to be scarce for a few days. i just need some time and reply to things and people at my own pace. )#( p.s. would appreciate it if all the 'you should have stuck with them longer maybe there's an adjustment period' or 'why bother taking the #in if you just plan to return them?' comments weren't made. i've already beaten myself up over this decision. )

17 notes · View notes

bleuberrygliscor · 9 months

Text

pikmin 4 was made with so much fucking love in it.

i WANT developers to take LONGER to create their art and be paid MORE to work LESS hours and i am NOT FUCKING JOKING.

#rem rambles #im not even super deep in. just got to the second area. but the fact that its so...well done.#you can gain certain pikmin at seemingly any time. you can puzzle and problem solve at your own pace.#the fucking dandori battles. i am deeply in love.#i saw an area. saw how fucking gorgeous it was. and cried. i had a whole ass moment.#this is what gaming should be. pokemon company take NOTES #the QOL changes. being able to set your pikmin for the field AND for caves. resetting your pikmin POST caves. moving your base to shorten #travel time. oh my GOD the routes for speedrunning this bitch will be inSANE

16 notes · View notes

nexusconjunx · 10 months

Text

Mantra: I AM GETTING A MASTERS BECAUSE I WANT TO and I am doing this for myself!! And it doesn't matter how long it takes, it matters more that I am feeling good and not to compare myself with others

#ramblings #i dunno why im in such a rush. i finished my bachelors in 7 semesters and my other friends are still at it. why should i care that my maste #also takes 6 or 7 semesters! i am doing it at my own pace!!

7 notes · View notes

caterpillarinacave · 2 months

Note

I am SAT for your Chenry fic. Please please tag me when you upload it?

Aw, thanks so much! I’ll be happy to!

#One million notes < praise from beloved mutual #The conundrum is that clip could be a part of one of my other fics posting a chapter of a new fic or a bit on its own #Part of my problem is I have a total of about 42 chapters fully written in my drafts. I just don’t know where to put them #I should put snippets like that one in chronological order in connection to that other fic #But the pacing would be harder that way and I worry people will hate it #If I posted one shot versions because i worry people will get fed up with repetitive posting #If I take it slow writing things out I worry people will lose interest and no one will care by the time I finish #Then I realize I’ve spent all my available writing time worrying about stupid things.#I love writing I love these fics I love sharing them and posting them I just need to violently twist it out of myself #I live in piles of finished art and chapters that my brain just blankly stares at #Dw I’ll make it happen and get some fics posted :)

1 note · View note

5weekdays · 6 months

Note

When did you get into tf?

i got into tf2 late april of this year actually. i think… if i recall correctly i watched the boundary break episode on tf2 and from there watched all the “meet the team” videos. the rest is history

#god i wish i could just take a leisurely stroll through all of the maps at my own pace #they should make servers where you can rp as a tourist #tf2

6 notes · View notes

adamarks · 6 months

Text

Ep 4fun and games is literally my favourite episode of the entire series. It’s so fucking good it’s just fantastic television

#btw ppl who are bitching about this season are having what I’ve coined as the Wayward Son Reaction #as in you build up the first installment of a trilogy to be whatever u want in ur brain #and then when conflict happens in the second installment and characters visit properly dark places and things move quickly because YOURE #IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORY you suddenly freak out and don’t like it bc u had a very narrow view of the first installment #you gotta let the characters breathe and take on their own life bro….#I should be telling my friends this in their dms I don’t think I have any snowbaz mutuals that are into ofmd bshshshsvx #anyway. basically wayward son and season 2 r very similar in expounding on dark tones and funky pacing and I fucking love them

6 notes · View notes

radlegowaffle · 8 months

Text

i think a lot about when someone told me the kanji for rain looks like youre looking out a window at rain (雨）

#rad.txt #its 4:40am ive been up since 1am cause someones coming by at noon to replace our oven #and i dont trust myself to get up at a decent time #this post has nothing to do with anything #i watch resin crafting stuff on youtube as something to be on my other monitor while i draw #and someone has earrings of 雨 and it looks like rain drops #and every time i see the thumbnail it just tickles me #it makes me stupid happy that it just works out. its so cute #i havent picked up my japanese notes in like. a year? two years? three years?#i forgot like. everything. can barely read hirigana. cant read katakana #duolingo didnt spend as much time on katakana as they should have imo #but with the added 'see your favorite anime characters say phrases!' idk if i want to go back lmao #i really want to learn but i can not take a class. that is way too much stress for me #at least learning online i can move at my own pace #anyway im very tired and hungry

4 notes · View notes

foolishfalls · 11 months

Text

Writing her is its own reward but it really does mean so much when I update your body is a burning book and people say they enjoy my lil interpretation of Riza. She is so close to my own heart!!

Like I’m at a point where I’m getting better at just writing for pleasure and for myself, which is part of why I think my results are somewhat successful, and it has taken me being two years out of studying fiction writing in school, learning to let myself be and figure out how to work with my own voice (which has always been more of a poet’s voice and learning to lean into that with some amount of abandon has been sooo freeing) to get to a place where the process can just be what it is to accomplish this and the process and the results themselves just make me feel happy and fulfilled.

So like, Learning that others are enjoying it is just a huge lovely cherry on top. I’ve always struggled to share my work despite feeling an impulse to do so, so it feels like a great place to be with it.

So just a heartfelt thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and engage with my work!!! Nothing brings me joy the way getting a comment or kudos does! Huge wet kiss thru the phone/screen for all of u :3

#Riza hawkeye #fanfiction #FMA fanfic #I also know my work can be jarring and weird and heady #and sometimes I don’t make cuts that I maybe should #because I’m just so not a kill yr darlings type bitch!#so thank you for bearing with me and being willing to observe the process that is my in progress fic!!#like making yourself available to my work is tantamount to what I’m doing to write it is what I’m saying!#like that shit is sacred to me and I don’t take it lightly #also this fic in particular is a very vulnerable one for me to share #have been reading a room of one’s own lately and thinking also about how being able to move at my own pace in my own space #has def given my writing lots of room to breathe #and I absolutely do not want to discount that lmao #anyways this was word vomit I suck at expressing gratitude but I am just overcome with joy and needed somewhere to share it!!#will also reply to comments I’m receiving asap :)

4 notes · View notes

tatakaeeren · 1 year

Text

Mentally exhausting day...

I need my fav mug, some baked goods, a random playlist, and a sleepless night reading fanfiction. (bonus points if it's raining like it is right now)

This is how I recharge my spirit batteries. How do you do it?

💖

#personal post #if i don't sleep i should be tired #but my problem is that i feel mentally tired not physically #dense people and some situations take my energy away #and i need time for me doing what i want at my own pace #you know what i mean?#what do you do when you are feeling low?

4 notes · View notes

dogcollarpunk · 1 year

Text

ALSO had a print workshop today with stencil printing and uhhhhh it fucked

#beef trimmings #sorry for personal art posting so much #im just excited and its the only thing im doing rn bc im so focused on class stuf flskjdfl #I had such a miserable time with the linocutting weeks ago but #!!! the stencils and textures one was sooo fun and the effects u can get wouch #Im not 100% happy with the final result but it was!! my first time #and oh my god was it fun #the print lady was like you should book a slot and come in whenever! keep printing #and you know what!! she was right!! I should keep printing!!! this was so fun #LIKE I REALLY LIKED IT. and im sure I could enjoy linocut as well if I booked #myself the time to actually be able to sit and take it at my own pace #so we'll see we'll see #id liek to make little posters tho and ugh! you could probably print a zine. THOUSAND THOUGHTS but the machine is also SLOW #un-apologizing if you got this far in my tag ramble LOOK AT MY THOUGHTS BOY

6 notes · View notes

renjunniez · 2 years

Text

not at me going through my archives and realising some of my favourite creations are from when i just giffed whatever i wanted whenever i wanted to and didn't think of it as some sort of job

#glad i moved past whatever that was and finally enjoy creating content skjdkd #super happy i moved blogs oml #love !!! taking breaks !!! and !!!! doing things at my own pace !!!!! as i should be !!!!!!#n.txt

4 notes · View notes

soulofamy · 1 month

Text

.

#misc #venting in the tags #my own impatience frustrates me so much honestly #like i want to do cool things like animate or write whole novels based on my original ideas or even get fanfics out for people to read #but the pace it takes in order for me to get there makes me so tempted to just give up #like i know that realistically if i wanted to animate i would need to have character charts and i would need to #have some test animation exercises in order to get the hang of the animation software and all that like theres a very logical process #but my brain doesnt want to do all that build up or go through the correct sequence of events it just wants to jump to the 'cool stuff'#and like it makes my motivation to do the things that i love so low because my brain isnt feeling the immediate gratification of #having the thing that i am making finished and ready for people to see #like i am sitting here literally just trying to finish up the amy character sheet and my brain is like 'maybe you should just give up' and #'no one cares about the character sheets or the test animation exercises'#i truly dont know how to cling onto motivation while being this impatient #i wish i wasnt impatient like this i wish i knew how to work up to big achievements instead of go for whatever is instantly gratifying #to be clear i am not giving up (yet) i am going to keep pushing through until i get to the part i really want to do #because if i dont make a soulcalibur animation then no one else will #but like jesus does doing the nongratifying parts make me feel like garbage and like im wasting my time

0 notes