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moon-in-daylight · 4 years

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Save you (Part 1) / Dhawan!Master x reader

Summary: Traveling with The Doctor had shown you incredible things: The existence of extraterrestrial live, the possibility of time travel and the most beautiful and remote places you could have ever imagine... But being with her had also made you develop some strong values. To be kind and always help those in need. But would you be up to help The Master now that he is the one who needs to be saved?

Words: 9112

Warnings: Blood, near death situations, smut (in future chapters).

Note: Since I’m isolated at home with an hyperfixation on Dhawan!Master, I decided to write my first fanfiction in like 4 or 5 years. I thought I might share it in case someone is in the same situation as I am and has nothing better to do than reading it (please, stay at home). It’s the first time I write in awhile and English is not my first lenguage, so sorry if this sucks.

What’s written in italics are the reader’s memories.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

Gallifrey wasn’t how you had imagined it would be. At least, its current state wasn’t.

When The Doctor talked about her home planet –not that she really had lately, but she had told you about it sometime, especially when you had asked her about the Time War–, she always talked about the golden skies and the two suns shining above. It had always made you curious, to visit the place that had watched your friend grow up. But looking around you, you realized why she hadn’t brought you and the fam to visit what was left of it.

You were rushing through the ruins of what had been one of the most powerful civilizations in the universe, followed closely behind by Ko Sharmus, who had a rough time keeping up with your speed. The others had tried to stop you both from getting out of the TARDIS that The Doctor had prepared to take you home, but nothing they could say or do could have made you stay. You couldn’t leave that planet knowing that The Doctor was sacrificing herself and that you would never be able to see her again. You would never be able to forgive yourself if you did nothing about it, if you just stood aside. That wasn’t you.

“You may have made me but I have destroyed you…” As you got closer to the Matrix, you could hear The Master’s voice getting louder. You tried to follow that sound “Become death, become…” Breathless, you stood in the room, every ‘Cybermaster’ pointing their weapons at you while The Master focused his attention on your being before finishing what he was saying. “Me…”

Interlocking your stare with his sent a shiver down your spine. You hadn’t seen him in a few months, you never thought you would again after your last encounter, when the Kaasavin took him away. But there he was, right in front of you in the planet he had threated to pieces. Looking at him now, it was almost impossible to believe that he was the same person that had introduced himself as O so long ago.

The Doctor, seeing her childhood friend’s reaction, turned to see you. “Y/N! You shouldn’t be here!” She reprimanded as you looked behind you in search for Ko Sharmus, who you supposed must had gotten lost. “You can’t still be here I set the controls!”

“I followed you outside, I couldn’t let you do this on your own!” You quickly responded as you watched The Master approaching you, a slight smirk forming on his face. You didn’t have to be genius to judge by his reaction that he was scheming something.

“I believe we agreed on no party crashers.” Grabbing you by your arm and dragging you to the center of the room with him, he laughed. “But this might be interesting.” His eyes looked at you and then at The Doctor as he tightened his grip on you. “Will you be able to sacrifice your loyal, little pet, Doctor?”

The Doctor’s eyes looked at you in despair. One thing was sacrificing herself and the apocalyptic remains of her planet for the well–being of the universe, but you being in the middle of it made things infinitely harder.

“Just do it, Doc.” You tried to encourage her as she held the bomb in her hands, pointing it to the Master. “It’s okay, I chose to stand by you.” Looking at you in the eye, The Doctor lowered her arm, putting her finger away from the detonator of the weapon that would end all organic life on her home planet.

“For just a moment there I thought maybe…” The Master looked away from his oldest enemy, frustrated at the turn of events. He sighed loudly before speaking again, now talking to you. “She’s weak.” He informed you, leaning over to your ear. “And the universe and you both are going to suffer for her weakness. I can promise you that.”

You gave an apologetic look at your friend, still hoping that she found the courage enough to press the button and end this madness once and for all.

“Not if I have anything to do with it.” Ko Sharmus finally intervened, getting in the room as well and walking towards The Doctor.

“Excuse me, are there going to be any more surprises?” The Master asked rhetorically into your ear, his heavy breathing hitting the skin on your neck and making you feel quite unsettled.

“Why won’t anyone listen to me?!” The Doctor questioned in frustration. “I told you all to leave!”

“I wanted to make sure these things are gone. And now I can be.”

“No!” The old man tried to grab the device that The Doctor still had in between her hands, even though he tried to persuade him out of his intentions.

“You didn’t start this, I did!” Ko Sharmus began to explain to The Doctor how he was part of the team that had tried to get rid of the Cyberium by sending it back though time, getting the calculus wrong and not sending it far enough. You swallowed the lump in your throat when you realized he wanted to take The Doctor’s place. “This is my penance. Mine to finish…”

You unconsciously sighed in relief as you watched The Doctor give the bomb back to his owner, glad to know that, at least, she got the chance to get out of there. You, on the other hand, didn’t seem to be that lucky. The Master was still holding you close to him, with no intention of letting you go.

“It isn’t going to be that easy, Doctor.” The Master intervened, rage filling his tone once again. “I still have her, and she’s not going anywhere. I die and she dies with me.” He stated, as serious as you had ever heard him. He had nothing left to lose.

“You can have me.” The Doctor was quick to say, trying to find a way for you to get out of this one. “This is between you and me, let her go and I’ll take her place.”

“Tempting, but I think I’ll pass. You can still stay and die by her side if you want to.” He laughed again. You took a deep breathe, trying to find the right words to say.

“Just go, Doctor.” You told her, no trace of hesitation in your voice. “This was my choice. I was the one who ran away from the TARDIS when you told me not to. Don’t blame yourself, it’s my fault.”

“Look at that, isn’t it moving?” The Master mocked you both. “She’s dying because of you and she doesn’t even blame you for it, Doctor. I don’t know if that’s sad or pathetic.”

“Don’t listen to him! Just run!” You tried to convince her to do as you said. “Yaz, Graham and Ryan still need you! The universe still needs you!” Tears began to form in your friend’s eyes

“I’m so, so sorry, Y/N.” She told you sincerely before running off.

“Doctor!” The Master shouted in frustration, his grip around you getting even tighter than before, making you squirm a little.

“Still feeling confident?” Ko Sharmus asked the remaining Time Lord in the room, getting ready to push the button and end it all.

The Master looked at the human in front of him defiantly, furious because his plan had been turned apart once again. You took a deep breath as you did your best to accept your final destiny.

There are always risks when travelling with The Doctor, you weren’t the first one to face the consequences. And you weren’t oblivious to them when you first stood a foot in the TARDIS. Death is always imminent when you live that kind of life, it had been several times that you had found yourself in deathly situations. Luckily, you had escaped from them all except for, of course, this one. Yet, you were copping surprisingly good with it. There wasn’t much left for you on earth anyway, you thought, and you had live a deeply intense and remarkable life. The things you had seen, the places you had been… You wished you had time to achieve more things, but maybe it was time. Maybe this was how it was meant to be.

“Kill him.” The sound of The Master giving the order to his army got you out of your own thoughts.

“Kill you first.” The old man threatened as dozens of lasers were shot against him.

Watching your ally struggle to keep himself from falling to the ground and taking advantage of The Master’s distraction, you set yourself free from his grip. You needed to be quick to grab the bomb from Ko Sharmus's hands as he fell dead to the floor. He had failed to complete the task again, and you couldn’t let the Time Lord and his monstrous creation get out of the planet. It would be the first, and most certainly last time that you kill someone, but you owed it to The Doctor. One final sacrifice to save your beloved universe. It needed to be done, even though you didn’t want to.

Just when you were about to grab the device from the old man’s apparently dead body, you realized your mistake. Ko Sharmus was still alive and his finger was barely a second away from making disappear all life from Gallifrey. In what you thought were your last moments, you turned to see The Master’s reaction, seeing him manipulating a watch–like device that was on his wrist. Just in time before the bomb detonated, he grabbed your arm, teleporting you both away from that room.

Out of nowhere, you found yourself inside of O’s house. Well, it wasn't really a house, and O didn't exist. You already knew that it was in fact The Master's TARDIS, but it was still hard to process. It took a moment for you to realize that you were in fact alive while the Master ran to the console and began to introduce some coordinates.

“We’re still on Gallifrey.” He clarified as he rushed himself to get his ship out of there. You weren’t really sure if he was talking to you or to himself. “There’s only a few seconds left before the expansive wave gets here.”

You watched him in confusion, still trying to figure out what had just happened. You were supposed to be dead. Not that you weren’t glad not to be. But out of all people, The Master was the last one you imagined would get you out of that situation. He was the one to put you in danger in the first place. What sense did it made?

Standing there, you watched in shock as he successfully got his ship into the time vortex. Once you were certain that you were out of danger, you decided to open your mouth again. “Why did you do that?” You asked him, a deep feeling of confusion taking over you.

“Do what?” The Master asked you back as he tried to decide when and where to go.

“You saved me.” Your voice was low as you did your best for both of you to remain calmed. The last thing you needed after escaping a certain death was to get yourself killed by an angry alien psychopath.

“I didn’t save you.” He was quick to correct you in his usual, cynic tone. “I saved myself and you just happened to be there. Do I look like a dog walker or something? I don’t take care of other people’s pets.”

You stayed silent as he worked. He wasn’t exactly easy to talk to, and you didn’t want to push him with noisy questions. Instead, you decided to celebrate the fact that you were alive by sitting on a chair and taking the deep breath that you had been holding for the last several hours. You weren’t completely out of danger, you were still in The Master’s ship. But for some reason he had decided you were more valuable alive than dead, you only hoped he wouldn’t suddenly change his mind.

Still trying to process everything that had happened in the last minutes, you realized The Doctor didn’t have a clue that you were still alive. You needed to get back to her, but that seemed a bit difficult at the moment. Eyeing The Master and seeing that he was busy controlling his ship, you reached for your phone only to find that the screen was shattered and that it didn’t even turn on. It must had had broke when you fell while running from the Cybermen earlier. Now it was useless. Wasn’t that just perfect?

There was no way to reach any of your friends and inform them of your situation, so you supposed you should focus on getting out of there as soon as possible and find your way back to them. The only problem was that you had no idea of where or when The Master was taking you.

“Why am I still inside your TARDIS?” Deep in thought, you asked in a low tone. Unluckily, not low enough so that he could’t hear you.

“You can throw yourself into the time vortex for all I care” He replied bitterly. Well, even more bitterly than usual. “Just make sure to close the door behind you.”

You weren’t really sure of how travelling in time worked, but you were pretty sure that wouldn’t survive if you just jumped out of the ship now, so you supposed you were stuck there. After a few silent minutes in which you tried to figure the situation out, you decided to dig a bit more into his intentions. He had had several opportunities to kill you, so if you were still alive was because for some reason he intended on keeping in that way.

Your eyes were glued to him as he read the screen in front of him. “Why did you take me out of Gallifrey?” You finally inquired again, your voice more confident than before.

“Would you have rather staying there?” The Master took a few seconds before answering your question, doing his best to keep himself calmed.

“I’m just trying to understand why I’m still alive. That’s all.”

The Master turned to you, his eyes furious as he quickly walked towards you and grabbed you by the throat. You gasped for air as he got you up from the chair, his face a few inches away from yours. “If that causes you any problem…” He stopped before he could finish the sentence, his eyes closing as he let out a groan from pain. As you observed him closely, you realized that his skin was extremely pale and that there was some cold sweat forming on his forehead. His grip on you was also weaker than you had expected it would be. “…I can fix that.”

His gaze was upon you for a few more seconds before letting you go. You coughed a few times as you tried to regain your composure. Don’t mess around with the sociopath alien, lesson learned. The Master walked back to the console and tried to get back to work, but you could see how tired he was.

“Are you feeling okay?” The Master could sense the worried tone in your voice. He didn’t even look back at you, ignoring you completely as he pulled a lever.

In a matter of seconds the ship had successfully landed, even though you had barely noticed it. The Master was a better pilot, his manoeuvres way smoother than The Doctor’s. You had to admit him that.

“Where are we?” You asked in fear of whatever you could find at the other side of the door. Probably it was best not to know, just by picturing all the kind of sick, doomed places his twisted mind could have chosen to take you to.

Almost as if you weren’t there, he kept messing around with the controls of the TARDIS. “Why don’t you go out there and figure it out instead of making stupid questions?” He spat, once again giving you the less possible amount of attention.

That wasn’t really encouraging, to say the least. But you had to admit curiosity was too much to bear. You had tons of questions and an answer waiting for you at the other side of the TARDIS’s doors. Was it worth to take risk? You took risks every day just by travelling with The Doctor, but you could feel the chances of getting into trouble multiply just by having the company of The Master instead. Taking a deep breath, you carefully walked to the front door. Your hand rested on it for a few seconds before you finally open it up to reveal your surroundings.

Surprise took over you when you recognized the place where the ship had landed. You had been there before, some time ago. The Master had landed in Australia, where he was when you first had met him as he was pretending to be O, an agent from MI6.

The Doctor’s voice could be heard even from outside of her console room as she rambled about something you didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t unusual to find her talking to herself, so you weren’t bothered by it until you entered into the room and heard another voice replying to her.

You hesitated for a few seconds before getting closer to where she was standing, realizing she was on a video call with someone.

“Y/N, hey!” She greeted you when she noticed your presence, turning to you with a wide smile spread on her face. “Come here, I want to introduce you to someone.”

“I thought you were rambling on your own again.” You laughed as you walked towards your friend, placing yourself next to her in front of the screen. “Who are you talking to?”

“Y/N, this is my friend from MI6, O” The Doctor introduced you as you gave the man a polite smile and a little wave.

“Nice finally meeting you.” He waved back as you observed him. He was a fairly good looking man with big dark eyes. “The Doctor talks so much about you.”

“Does she now?” You laughed, trying to hide your embarrassment. “I’m not really interesting, especially comparing myself to her. Hope she doesn’t bore you much.”

“No, I have a great time hearing about your adventures.” O smiled as he gave you a reassuring look. “According to what The Doctor says you have saved her more than once.”

You grinned nervously as you placed a piece of hair behind your ear. “Well, I should leave you two to keep catching up. Didn’t mean to interrupt you.” You shrugged, feeling bad for crashing their conversation.

“Oh, don’t worry.” The agent told you. “We were already saying goodbye.”

“Yeah, O is working on a case at the moment.” The Doctor clarified. “See you around!” She happily put an end to the call. It was only you and her in the TARDIS now.

“So…” You sighed, thinking of the best way to ask what was on your mind without looking suspicious. You had liked him, but first you wanted to know if there was anything going on between the two of them. “What is the deal with this O? How did you two meet?”

“We met some years back.” Your alien friend explained as she wandered around the console room. “He really is into studying every alien thing that crosses his path.”

“Why isn’t he travelling with us then?” The Doctor turned to you as you asked. You had never heard her talking about O before, so maybe there was a reason why she didn’t want him in the TARDIS. “He seems like a nice guy, he would enjoy this kind of life.”

“He does an extremely important job on earth.” She clarified. Both Torchwood and Unit were now gone, so knowing that there was still O left working for MI6 made her feel more secure. If any alien being attacked Earth while she was away, he would still be there to try and stop them. “Maybe some day we can take him on an adventure. Now, how about we go get the rest of the fam and go somewhere?”

You smiled at her while you nodded your head, still thinking about O. There was no denying you had taking a like on him, even though the Doctor was too much of a dork to notice. It wasn’t nothing serious, just a dumb crush, but you were hoping on seeing him again sometime. Preferably in person next time.

“Have you ever been to Barcelona?” The Doctor got you out of your thoughts. “Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. Do you fancy a trip there?”

The sun was setting just now. If you started walking, you would get to the closest population in a couple of hours. Luckily, you could get into a plane in the morning and be back to London by the end of the next day. You were free to go home, to go back to your fam. But since The Master was the one that had taken you back to Earth, you supposed things weren’t as simple as they seemed. There had to be a trick. There’s always a trick with him. He wouldn’t make it that easy, would he?

After taking a moment to admire the beauty of your own planet, you decided to head back inside of the TARDIS. Probably The Master would dismiss every single one of your questions, just like he had been doing, but you couldn’t leave without trying one last time. You would always be wondering why he had helped you if you left now. Curiosity was going to be the death of you.

Confusion stricken you again when you didn’t see The Master around the console. You were beginning to think that he was setting you a trap when you spotted him lying on the floor, passed out.

“Master!” You kneeled beside him, shaking his body slightly in an attempt to wake him up.

Nothing you did made him move a muscle. Worried, you placed a hand on his forehead just to find that his skin was practically burning. His breathing and heartbeats were also way slower compared to what you supposed was normal. If he did in fact had two hearts his pulse should be way more intense, or so you supposed.

Being as careful as you possibly could, you dragged The Master to the closest piece of furniture. Not without some complications, you laid him on the couch and observed him, in hopes for him to make any kind of reaction. There was always the possibility that he was messing with you. That this was a part of some bigger scheme and that you were falling straight for it. But you knew that, if by any remote chance this was real and you walked away, leaving him there on his own, you would never be able to forgive yourself. Sure, he most likely wouldn’t do the same for you, but you weren't the type to run away when help was needed.

Besides, he had indeed saved you from Gallifrey, even if you didn’t know the real reason behind it. In a way, you felt like you owed him.

The only thing was, you didn’t exactly have a medical degree. You knew the basic things to keep yourself alive, and that was practically it. Also, you weren’t even sure if that knowledge could be applied to the Time Lord’s biology. Were they even able to get the flu? Is that what it was? A flu? It seemed kind of dumb to think that a race like the Time Lords, one of the most powerful ones in the universe, could pass out because of a simple cold. Yet, the symptoms were cold–like. High fever, cold sweat…

But you had never seen The Doctor getting ill. Until that moment, you had thought it was impossible for them to get a minor illness. If only she was there with you, maybe she could do something to help him get better. Or, at least, diagnose him. You, on the other hand, had no idea on what you should do.

Looking around, you laid your eyes on the console. It wasn’t a exact copy of the Doctor’s console, the decoration was extremely different, but you could still see that some of the controls were practically the same as hers. You remembered that there was a telephone somewhere in there. She used it sometimes to call the fam. Maybe you could use it to reach her, to let her know that you were okay and inform her of the situation you had in hands.

Maybe she wouldn’t want to help The Master, and you couldn’t blame her if that was the case. Their relationship wasn’t exactly at its peak right now, but it was worth the try.

You were about to get up and walk to the console when you found a blanket lying in the back of a chair. After putting it carefully over The Master, you finally made your way to the console. Sadly, the TARDIS wasn’t exactly human user friendly and the more you looked at the confusing buttons and levers, the more you wished for a ‘How to fly a TARDIS for dummies’ book to exist. As soon as you could be reunited with The Doctor you were going to ask her to teach how to use the damn thing.

Just when you were making your fourth or fifth walk around the console, you found a phone hidden right under it. You took it out of its shelf and dusted it off. Good, you had found a way to reach to her, now the problem was that you didn’t know her number by heart. You closed your eyes as you tried to remember the damn number. You had no luck with it, but you did remember something equally useful.

The TARDIS was a living being herself. She was able to communicate with their occupants as well as just change her interiors at her will.

“Please, help me find The Doctor.” You muttered, looking at the center of her console, begging. “I know she can help The Master. Do it for him. Please.”

A few seconds passed before the TARDIS hummed at you. You supposed it was a friendly interaction, since the phone immediately started to dial. Sighing in relieve, you waited for her to pick up at the other side. The seconds passed. Nothing. No answer.

“Can you please try again?” You politely asked once more.

“What are you still doing here?” His voice sounded weak, yet menacing, when he woke up and found you on his ship. You turned to him and observed him carefully. He clearly wasn’t going through his best moment.

“You passed out.” You clarified.

“That’s not what I asked.” He tried to get up, but he only got enough strength to sit on the couch. He was doing his best to try and keep his balance, but his headache wasn’t helping at all. “I brought you back to Earth, why haven’t you left yet?”

“It looks like you need some help, so I thought I would try–“

As soon as The Master saw you holding his phone, he cut you off. “What are you doing with that?”

“I was trying to call The Doctor, I thought maybe she could help.” You tried to justify yourself, but he didn’t seem very pleased with your answer.

“Don’t you even think of getting her here.” The Master angrily hissed, grabbing onto his side in pain.

You let go of the phone that was still in your hands, worried about his state. You should have imagined that he would have rather die than let The Doctor help him.

“Ok, I won’t call her.” You assured him, noticing that his skin was even paler than before. You had never thought you would see him in that state. So weakened, so defenseless. You almost felt pity for him. “But please, let me help you.”

“Help me?” He mocked you with a quiet laugh. Not even in the state he was he could stop being his cynical self. “You are just a pitiful human. You can’t help me.”

“Let me try.” You insisted. Most people would have given up on him by now, plus you knew your efforts wouldn’t have a reward. He wasn’t the grateful type, that was for sure, but you weren’t planning on letting him die on his own. No one deserved that. Not even him. “What is happening to you?” You asked after a few seconds of silence.

“Are we playing doctors now?” As The Master talked, he could feel the strength leaving his body. It was obvious that his sarcastic answer hadn’t pleased you, judging by the look you gave him. He was doomed anyway, so he decided he might as well keep himself entertained by watching you fail over and over in the attempt of finding a cure for him. “It’s the Cyberium.” He told you.

“What?” You asked in confusion. “What do you mean the Cyberium?”

“As you already know, its last host had gotten a bit… Indisposed.” He let out with a proud smirk, referring to how he had turned the half–converted Cyberman into a tiny doll. “So I kindly offered myself as its new host.”

“That thing almost kills Shelley.” You thought out loud, remembering one of your most recent adventures with The Doctor.

“Because you humans are weak.” He really didn’t pass on a chance to remind you that, did he? “It holds too much information for you to handle. No wonder his mind was melting.”

“To be fair, it looks like you’re also having a rough time handling it.” His eyes gave you one of the coldest stares you had ever received when you stated that.

“It’s not the same.” He assured, gesturing with his hands as he spoke. You supposed that was a good sign, one that showed that he was feeling slightly better. “I am more than capable of holding all its knowledge within me. And believe me, it does have some really interesting ideas.”

“Then why is it making you ill?” You questioned, already trying to think of something that could help him. So far, he wasn’t exactly making things easy for you. “Can’t you just regenerate and heal yourself?”

“I believe the Cyberium is quite disappointed that you and your beloved Doctor have blown our plans.” The Master explained, getting up from where he was sitting and walking to you. His moves were slow and clumsy as he dragged himself to the console. Once he reached his destination, he took a deep breathe to try and regain composure before answering your other question. “It is inside me and it doesn’t have the intention to leave until I’m dead. It wouldn’t let me regenerate. It’s trying to punish me for losing our whole army to that little bomb you and your friends exploded.”

“There’s got to be a way to get it out,” The Master laughed at your words as he placed himself in front of the screen of the console, reading something you couldn’t understand because it was written in Gallifreyan. “a way to get rid of it.”

“That’s exactly what I thought about you, yet here we are.” He sassily responded, not even looking back at you.

“At least I’m trying to think of something.” His attitude was beginning to irritate you. You couldn’t hold back a sigh.

The way he turned to you with eyes full of rage caused you to intuitively jump back. “Well, you shouldn’t force yourself that hard. We don’t want you burning out the one brain cell you have left.”

You crossed your arms in frustration, ready to put up a fight. But when you were just about to ramble back against him, you realized what he was doing, what he always did. He was trying to push you away. It was the oldest trick in the book. Maybe he thought he was better off dealing with this situation alone, or maybe he really thought you were in fact useless. Either way, you had already invested yourself in finding a cure for him. And even if he didn’t want your help, you still knew you could be useful. You were totally on board now.

“I know what you’re doing.” He ignored you when you finally talked again. “You can try all you want, but I’m not leaving. You’re going to have to put up with me.”

The Master watched you as you left the console room and got deeper into the TARDIS, looking for the library so you could make some research on the Cyberium. He was right about you being a complete pain in the ass, but maybe he had underestimated you.

By the time one of your adventures finally had you involved with the MI6, you had completely forgotten about O’s existence. You hadn’t heard a word about him since that time he was video calling The Doctor. But it was normal. The Doctor wasn’t much of an open book, she didn’t usually talk about her past or about her other friendships, and you had learned not to ask. It was no surprise that she didn’t talk you about him.

Besides, you were too busy visiting other planets on a daily basis, you didn’t exactly have time to think about the handsome stranger you had talked to once through a screen. You hadn’t even met him in person.

It wasn’t until The Doctor mentioned him to another agent called C that he popped back into your head.

Apparently, O had had a fall out with the rest of MI6 and was working from an unknown location. Well, unknown to his fellow agents. The Doctor just sent him a voice message and in a few seconds she got back a picture… Of a fish? As weird as it was you had to admit you had seen way weirder things with her.

Agent C was giving you more information on the case he was assigning you when he suddenly got shot by a sniper.

You and the rest of your friends were quick to run to the TARDIS, being as fast as you could on your escape. If someone had murdered one of the leaders of MI6 just like that, you sure were an easy target. When you all got inside of the safety of The Doctor’s ship, she started to process that picture of a fish she had showed you earlier. As it turned out, the picture was in fact a coded message. Some coordinates, actually.

But there was another concern hunting you and your friends right know. An antropomorphic figure made of light was trying to get into the TARDIS, and not even The Doctor knew what it was. Luckily, she did know how to get temporally rid of it. After doing so, she started to organize you all, sending Yaz and Ryan to investigate Daniel Barton, CEO of VOR and taking you and Graham with her to meet O.

Well, this day was getting more and more interesting.

In just a few seconds after dropping your friends in San Francisco, you were in Australia. Following right behind The Doctor, you just looked around you, seeing that you were in the middle of the desert. And right in front of you was O, with two other agents. He was shorter than you had imagined him, but still quite attractive.

“I see you decoded the fish.” He greeted your friend with a smile, which she returned. “Fancy a cuppa?”

“Very much.” The Doctor gladly accepted his proposal. “Hello! This is my friend Graham, and I believe you already know Y/N.”

“O.” He introduced himself to Graham while politely shaking his hand.

“Sorry, you’re…?”

“O.” The agent repeated several times until Graham figured out that ‘O’ was in fact his name. “It was… A joke, by the others at MI6.” He began to explain. “Whenever I came into the room to meet C, he’d go ‘Oh God…’” You laughed at his anecdote while shaking his hand. “It sort of stuck and now I’ve owned it.” He smiled at you as he finished telling his story.

He then proceeded to introduce the two agents from the Australian secret service that were with him, but The Doctor didn’t seem really interested in them. “Can I take a nose around your gaff?” She asked and took off without even giving O time to answer. Graham followed her closely.

“Is she always that spontaneous?” He asked you.

“You get used to it.” You assured him in response as you watched your friend get inside of the house. Both you and O started to make your way inside too. “It’s nice finally meeting you in person.”

“You too.” O dedicated you a warm smile.

“I wish we met under better circumstances though.” You added, nervously putting some hair behind your ear. “You know, one in which aliens weren’t threatening to end the world as we know it.”

“Well, you’ve got to admit there’s some thrill about this whole situation.” He said, looking in your direction.

“That’s true.” Your smile grew bigger. “But there always is when you travel with The Doctor.”

“How so?” He raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

“Things tend to get chaotic real quick.”

“And is that a bad thing?” You saw him smiling at you and looked away, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Not necessarily.” You shrugged. “I kind of like chaotic.”

“It must be really interesting travelling with The Doctor.” O pointed out with the biggest smile on his face. “Maybe you could tell me about your adventures with her sometime.”

“Sure, as long as you tell me a few stories about your work on MI6.” As you both reached the door of his house, he opened it, letting you go first.”

“Oh, I mainly worked as an analyst.” He clarified. “But if you’re still interested I can show you some of my work.” You gave him a kind smile as you nodded, truly interested about his work. “Would you also like a cup of tea?”

As crazy as it seemed, The Masters’ TARDIS liked you. Well, you supposed she did. Maybe she just wanted you to figure out a way to cure The Master, your weren’t really sure. The point was that she was being very helpful, in opposition to the Time Lord.

While she helped you find The Master’s library and even created a room for you to rest in, The Master spent every waken second trying to push you over the limit, to make you give up. He didn’t have the slightest hope that you could find a way to help him. Mainly because not even he could find a cure for himself, so he knew there was no way you could come up with a realistic, practical solution.

If he couldn’t think of anything to get out of that situation, no one could. No stupid human pet of The Doctor’s could be able to outsmart him. He would rather die than to see that happen. And it was most likely to end that way.

Yet, nothing he could do or say seemed to persuade you to drop everything and leave. And it was not because he wasn’t trying. With the little strength he still had, he tried to torment you time and time again. Maybe if he had been in a better state, he could have gotten you to leave, but he barely could stand on his feet for more than a few minutes and you didn’t seemed to be bother at all by him.

Soon, The Master had fallen asleep again. The Cyberium could end him instantly, but it had chosen to torture him, to give him a slow and painful death. You thanked the quietness that his nearly coma state brought as you finally put yourself to study. You needed to know what the Cyberium was exactly, how it had been created, and most importantly, how to kill it without hurting its host.

Unluckily for you, the history of the Cybermen was surprisingly wide and the Cyberium was described more like an urban legend than something real. According to the only paragraph that talked about it, the Cyberium was the essence of all the cyberknowledge personified and the Cyberman that hosted it would be the one that lead its race to the total control of the universe.

“You must be the most irritating human to ever exist.” You heard The Master’s voice as he did his best to keep himself awake, the Cyberium attacking every cell of his body. You kept reading, ignoring him completely as you waited for him to fall asleep again. You had learned that that was the best way to deal with him. “No wonder The Doctor left you to die on Gallifrey.”

Those words hit closer than they should have.

“I told her to.” Without looking away from the book in your hands, you reminded him.

“It’s true.” He admitted, turning his head to you. “But she didn’t put much of a resistance, did she? You just told her to leave and she did.” The Master sadistically laughed. “If you ask me, she was taking an enormous weight off of her shoulders. And she was well aware of it.”

You could feel tears forming in your eyes as he spoke, but you did your best not to give him the reaction he was looking for. The Master was playing tricks with you and you couldn’t let yourself fall for them.

“I mean, she didn’t hesitate to leave you not only to die, but to die with me,” He continued, pushing harder. “knowing what I am capable of.”

“Are you capable of shutting up?” Your voice came out showing you more vulnerable than you would have wanted to sound.

“You don’t know The Doctor like I do.” He laughed again, even though it made every muscle on his body ache. “Not even she knows herself like I do. You were a burden. You had been for a long time, but she didn’t know how to get rid of you. Guess I made her a favor.” The Master observed you closely, waiting for you to finally melt down. “I know you felt it too. You were dispensable. The weakest link. That’s why it was so easy for me to approach to you as O.” You instantly stood up, closing the book with a loud noise and wiping away the few tears that were running down your face. “I didn’t have to do anything, and you were at my feet. You would have done anything I would have asked you to, wouldn’t you?”

“Shut up.” You demanded, taking your things and making your way to the interior of the TARDIS.

“Where are you going?” The Master asked when he saw you taking the book with you. He was hoping he had finally pushed you hard enough for you to leave, but apparently not.

“Somewhere where I can work in silence.” You held the book close to your chest, The Master sighing at your relentless attitude.

“Why won’t you give up?” He asked, his voice making you stop instantly in the place you were standing. “What do I have to do for you to leave me alone?”

“I don’t give up.” You simply said after swallowing the lump in your throat. “There’s only two things you can do to get rid of me, you either get better or you die. Whatever happens first.”

“I should have left you on Gallifrey.” His eyes were full of hate as he watched you clean your tears away. Human emotions were absolutely pathetic.

“Well, maybe you should have.”

“You know if I were in your position and you were the one dying, I would kill you myself.” His breathing was heavy, getting more upset by moments.

“I’m not you.” You reminded him. “The Doctor taught me to never give up and to help those in need, no matter what. Even if it’s you the one that needs help.” Your fingers dug on the book’s cover as you tried to relieve some tension. “I’m not doing this for you, and not even for her. I’m doing this for me, because these are my values.” You were about to leave the console room when you stopped again and looked The Master in the eye. “By the way, you have had several opportunities to kill me today and if I recall it correctly, all you did was get me out of the dying ruins of your home planet and bring me back to mine safe and sound. If you really mean to kill me, you’re doing a terrible job at it.”

The Master smiled as he watched you finally leave the control room. He didn’t know you had that in you.

The sun was rising outside and you had barely had a few hours of sleep.

It had been a crazy night, and not the good kind of crazy. It wasn’t every night that you were attacked by creatures made of light, you got to trap one to study them and then Yaz switched places with it. The Doctor was still trying to understand what they were and what they wanted, or how had they brought Yaz all the way from San Francisco to Australia in the blink of an eye. It had been a long night that had created more questions and given you no answers.

You had been talking to Yaz for a while, trying to be there for her as she told you about the place those creatures had taken her to. She seemed quite unsettled and, sadly, you couldn’t do much to calm her down. After a little chat with her on the front porch of O’s house, you decided to leave her some space and get back inside.

“Good morning.” You heard O’s voice coming from his little kitchen as he made some tea. “Want some?”

“Morning, and yes please.” You sat close to him, rubbing your eyes as a yawn escaped your lips. “I could really use one cup of tea now.”

“Did you get any sleep at all?” He asked in a worried tone as he poured some water to boil.

“Like an hour or two.” You held your head between your hands, elbows on the wooden table, as you did your best to stay awake. You raised your look to him, worried about him. O wasn’t used to all this craziness, so you couldn’t imagined what that night had been like for him. “How about you?”

“About the same.” O sat across from you while he waited for the water to start boiling. “Is your friend okay?”

“She will be.” You assured. “She’s one of the strongest people I know.”

“And how are you?” That question caught you by surprise.

“I’m holding up.” He looked at you with sympathetic eyes as he heard your answer. “I have seen a lot of things, but never something like these creatures.”

“That makes two of us, if it’s any consolation.” O said with a kind smile. “Apart from The Doctor, this is the first time that I see extraterrestrial live right in front of my own eyes.”

“It’s a bit crazy, isn’t it? Everyone denying the possibility of life on other planets when there’s actually so many species you can’t even know them all.” You sighed, immersed in your own thoughts. “For all we know, human race could have come from out of space too.”

“I’ve been gathering alien evidence half of my life.” He told you, looking at you in the eye. “And everyone treated me like I was crazy.”

“3 years ago I would have probably treated you like that too.” You admitted, remembering your life before meeting The Doctor. You had always been kind of skeptical, but your life had changed for the better when you found out about everything that was really out there. “But joke’s completely on all of us now.”

O laughed slightly as he got up to the sound of boiling water. He poured the hot liquid into two cups, handing you one. You thanked him with a kind smile.

“Why did you move to Australia?” You asked him as you stirred the sugar in your tea with a spoon. “Couldn’t you work from London or anywhere else in the UK?”

“I never really liked the city.” He confessed, taking a sip of his own cup. “Too many noise. I work better from here, in the middle of the desert.”

“Doesn’t it get lonely?” You asked without thinking about it. When you realized how your question might be perceived, you looked down at your cup and took a sip, trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Sometimes.” He replied, his smile not leaving his face. “But it’s for the best.”

The light was starting to come through the windows as you both had breakfast in silence. If it had been any other person, you would have felt awkward being in silence for so long. You would had probably forced yourself into some small talk to try and fill the silence. But for some reason you felt comfortable there with him. Just having breakfast without saying a word.

“How long have you known The Doctor, Y/N?” He asked you when you had both finished your cup of tea.

“It’s hard to tell.” You sighed, trying to calculate how long had passed in your own personal time line. “Things don’t happen in a straight line inside the TARDIS. Time loses all of its meaning.” O looked at you with questioning eyes. Maybe The Doctor hadn’t told him about time travel, you thought. “How much do you know about all of that?”

“A bit.” He shrugged. “Our paths crossed very briefly once when she was a man.”

“What do you mean ‘when she was a man’?” Disbelieve took over you as you tried to understand what was going on.

“Oh.” The smile left momentarily his face. “She never mentioned that?”

“I didn’t know she meant that for real.” The both of you laughed. “With her, you never really know when she’s being serious.”

“Her species has this ability, a way to escape death.” O began to explain you. “When their life is in danger, they change every cell of their body, giving them a random new face. They call it ‘regeneration’” Amazed, you opened your eyes as he spoke. “I’ve been trying to gather information about her too.”

“I kind of want to know what she looked like as a man.” You bit your lip as curiosity aroused in you.

“I was able to get some photos of some of her previous regenerations.” He stood up and walked to a shelf in which he had a bunch of papers piled up. “This whole shelf is full with all the information I could gather of her. There are a lot of inconsistencies, but it’s still really, really interesting” You looked at the documents almost like if you were starving and they were a delicious buffet placed in front of you. “Do you wanna have a look?” You energetically nodded as he offered you a way to satisfy your curiosity.

O took the folders and brought them to you, letting them on the table and taking the empty cups to the sink. You grabbed one of them and opened it to find the photo of a man in a brown suit next to a young blonde woman.

“Wow.” You couldn’t hold back the exclamation as you eyed the page in front of you. “Is this what she looked like when you met her?” You asked O as you pointed the man in the picture.

“Not exactly.” The agent shook his head. “She has had many faces. That is just one of them.”

You kept reading the papers in front of you, finding out more about The Doctor’s past. There was a lot of facts about The Doctor that you could have never imagined, so many names, so many organizations related to your friend. You were half through the first page when you stopped reading and put the paper away.

“I feel like I shouldn’t be reading this.” You sighed, feeling guilty. “Isn’t this like a violation of her privacy?”

“No.” He was quick to respond. “In fact, it’s not that you should, you must know all you possibly can about her. You travel with her, you risk your life every day for her. How can you let your life in hands of someone who hides her past from you?” Your gaze switched between the papers in front of you and O’s eyes, thinking about his words. “Do you know where she’s from?”

“She’s from…” You hesitated, not being able to remember the name at first. “Gallifrey. She has mentioned it sometime.”

“What do you know about Gallifrey? Have you ever been?” He asked you, his tone more inquisitive than it usually was.

“Not much. Just what The Doctor said about it.” You recalled the few conversations with your friend. “I believe she mentioned there are two suns instead of just one… But The Doctor never took us there.”

“I think I might know why.” O handed you another file about your friend’s home planet. You eyed it. “It was placed in the constellation of Kasterborous and it was home to the Time Lords, The Doctor’s species.”

“Was?” You asked when you realized that he was using the past tense.

“Something terrible happened to Gallifrey.” He pointed the picture of an enormous dome in an orange sky. “There was a war and–“

“Come on, you two. Everyone out front. Lots to chat up on.” The Doctor surprised you by coming out of the TARDIS. You quickly dropped the sheet in your hands and hid it in its folder. “I made ice tea. Possibly.”

Holding the large glass in her hands, she made her way out of the house as you and O rushed to clean up the mess of documents on the table. You helped him put the folders back to the shelf where they were before.

You were making your way outside when O stopped you by grabbing your wrist. He leant over your ear, careful not to be overheard by anyone.

“I’ll tell you the rest when we get a chance of being alone.”

#Doctor Who #Doctor Who fanfic #Dhawan!Master #Dhawan!Master x reader #Dhawan!Master x you #Dhawan!Master fanfic #The Master #Master x reader #Master x you #dhawan master x reader #dhawan master x you #Sacha Dhawan #Sacha Dhawan x reader #Sacha Dhawan x you #Doctor Who imagine #DhawanMaster imagine #Dhawan master imagine

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razanartuk · 3 years

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about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

#mel.rtf #abt me #tag games

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annecoulmanross · 4 years

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Thoughts on “Terror of the Arctic” (2005), aka, “I listened to the Doctor Who audio drama episodes about the lost Franklin Expedition so that you don’t have to!”

Alright terror-friends, this was not how I expected to spend my day, but I have now listened to all eight episodes of the 2005 Doctor Who Audio Drama series “Terror of the Arctic,” featuring all of the ~ familiar ~ icy ~ boys ~ meeting the infamous Doctor.

With arguably more horrifying sexist/racist content than the 2007 Simmons novel, this audio drama actually predicted a lot of the tropes that Simmons popularized, including ship-board conflicts that escalate to stabbings, the appearance of supernatural creatures from Inuit oral traditions, and even a squick-y romance between Crozier and a much younger Inuit woman.

To clarify, I do not recommend you listen to these episodes. They’re a hot mess, and a really jarring departure from the beauty of The Terror (2018).

HOWEVER I highly recommend you look below the cut for episode-by-episode notes about the first Franklin Expedition adaptation that has well and truly driven me up the wall. So, welcome to the world of “Terror of the Arctic” (2005), featuring:

Crozier, (pronounced "Crow-zee-eyy,”) a polite door-mat of a captain with an agonizing lack of snark and minimal personality beyond “the only white man who can magically fix racism.”

Fitzjames the “proper English officer” who has every prejudice you can imagine – and a couple more you can’t.

Le Vesconte, the irrepressible lad with an inexplicable American accent and extreme boy-scout-gone-crazy energy.

Sgt. Tozer, who has a bad habit of punching people in the face even though his superior officers haven’t yet told him he’s allowed to do so.

Also featuring: Cybernetic Tuunbaq aliens! Complete breakdown of shipboard protocol! Expected amounts of cannibalism! And more! (spoilers, obviously)

Episode 1

– We start with a mandatory brief appearance from the Doctor and his companion Christine. I don’t (initially) hate this iteration of the Doctor – he’s very paternalistic and old-fashioned, but at least the voice actor’s competent. Christine’s voice, tragically, is high-pitched beyond all reason and laced with a variety of odd dialectical features. Some quick research reveals she’s supposed to be a 15 year old from medieval England. She sounds neither like a teenager nor a medieval person. From the very beginning, her character seems very infantilized, and plays into a lot of the Born Sexy Yesterday tropes, even if she and the Doctor aren’t a thing.

– Next, we have Sir John Franklin giving the “we’ve been stuck in the ice for nine months, here’s what you missed” sum-up.

– Sir John’s voice is gravelly 👏 as 👏 fuck; also, I don’t think that the phrase “to sugar-coat it” was a common 1840s expression? Correct me if I’m wrong history folks.

– Crozier shows up to give his “we should start walking out now” speech, minus any passion or conviction whatsoever; he bends immediately to Franklin’s whims. Crozier’s voice is quite high-pitched, and Sir John pronounces his name “Crow-zee-eyy.” (Update: everyone pronounces it this way!!! Uhmmm!) Though I struggle to judge accents, Crozier’s Irish accent sounds... leprechaun-ish. It’s not Jared Harris by a long mile.

– Not gonna lie, I kind of love how much Fitzjames sounds like a posh bastard. He immediately gets into a one-sided shouting match with Crozier and has to be reprimanded by Franklin.

– Lieutenant Irving appears on the scene; I don’t know what Irving’s accent is, but it sure is something.

– All of the officers seem to currently be on the same ship for some reason but I don’t know why. We’ve met Sir John, Crozier, Fitzy, and Irving, and Gore’s been mentioned, as have doctors Peddie and Stanley. And they’re all in the same boat. Guess we’re just ignoring Terror for now?

– Franklin begins narrating as he writes in the log-book: “11th June, 1847.” Oh BOY guess what day it is!!

– RIP Franklin (surprise, surprise). We have no real idea yet how this has happened.

– Fitzjames, talking to Sir John’s mysterious corpse: “Captain, what could have done this to you?”

– Fitzjames: “We have a killer loose on this ship” (Fitz gets ALL the best lines, apparently. Do they make sense? No. Are they hilarious? Yes.)

– Irving is shockingly nonchalant when the Doctor and Christine appear from nowhere out on the ice. Why is Irving so chill when he thinks that these two people are the lone survivors of a DIFFERENT failed expedition?

– Fitz apparently has refused to let Crozier start the walk-out after Franklin died. (Um, that’s not how the chain of command works?)

– We learn that Beechey-boy Braine apparently died of sudden-onset-scurvy. What is sudden-onset-scurvy, you ask? We do not yet know.

– Irving, happily describing their recent course of action: “...Ignoring the advice of our ships’ ice masters...” Oh god Irving don’t sound so happy about that. Blanky’s going to take an ice-axe to your head. (Tragically, Blanky does not appear in this show.)

– Lieutenant Gore has ALSO died of sudden-onset-scurvy. RIP Graham Gore.

– Is the Doctor going to focus on the existence of sudden-onset-scurvy? No, we’re gonna hyperfixate on the high officers-to-crew death rate! And he’s going to infodump about officers’ privileges TO Irving, an officer, and muse about how odd it is that more officers than crew are dying when the officers get all the best food!

– Fitz, the “proper English officer” apparently has managed to get about half the men to refuse to follow the orders of their expedition commander, because he happens to be Irish. Babe, this is a really bad look!

– Irving, our good Christian Irving, just swore “By Jove” in a weirdly sexy voice.

– Tozer has Extreme Deep Voice.

– Irving: “There’s something odd about them I just don’t trust.” Why on earth wouldn’t you trust two strangers who wandered up to you on the ice and asked if you were “human,” John Irving? What’s “odd” about that?

– The Doctor only remembers that he does actually know the events of the Franklin expedition after he reads the entire Victory Point Note.

– Irving has suddenly decided to threaten to shoot the Doctor and his companion. Irving promptly gets attacked.

* jarring transition to triumphant Doctor Who music *

Episode 2

– The ~mysterious~ attack on Irving has left weird wounds on Irving’s neck. I’m calling it, Ice Vampires!

– We have an Edward Little appearance! His voice is so sweet and gentle! And then... “I’ll have Sergeant Tozer shoot you both where you stand!” Okay, maybe not... (Update: Little is, in fact, very awful to several people. As we will see, all of the lieutenants and marines swing between weirdly nonchalant dudes and trigger-happy maniacs.)

– Tozer just punched the Doctor’s lights out, unprompted.

– Crozier: “Good old John Peddie... he’s like a brother to me.” Well THAT’S not a friendship I expected.

– So Dr. Peddie has brought a young Inuit woman in to Crozier’s cabin to have a “lovely chat.” Awkward book!Crozier/Silna energies. The woman’s name is Liak. She speaks with a vaguely Spanish and/or Italian accent.

– Liak: “I have been with my tribe. They would not allow me to come back to see you.” / Crozier: “Why? It’s not because of Fitzjames is it?”

– (It’s not because of Fitzjames. It’s because of evil spirits, obviously.)

– The Doctor, once they get back to the ships, explaining to the higher officers what’s happened: “Mr. Tozer got all excited and could no longer restrain his Neanderthal-like impulse to start clubbing things.” Boy this by show is NOT for Tozer fans. (Note: Tozer is standing right there? In the room? When the Doctor says this?)

– The Doctor just dropped an f-bomb?????????? And not as an expression of shock, but a hard-core sexual use of the f-bomb. Literally, he said “you can let Tozer fuck me again” – did I mishear this????????????

– Irving’s dying words: “I was attacked by a large silver creature with claws!” Wait did Dan Simmons rip off a fan-made 2005 Doctor Who Audio Drama?

– RIP Irving, first confirmed victim of “Tuunbaq the First.”

– Fitzjames is SO racist, throwing around a lot of “savage” and “barbarian” words. Why are you letting this man walk all over you, Crozier?

– Crozier: the first person who has the correct reaction to two weirdos appearing on his boat (aka shock and surprise, rather than worrying nonchalance followed by unprompted extreme aggression.)

– Fitzjames literally laughed after being informed that Irving is dead. (Like Crozier’s bad Raft of the Medusa joke, but SO MUCH WORSE.)

– RIP Ice Master Reid, actual first confirmed kill of “Tuunbaq pre-Tuunbaq,” several weeks ago, apparently??

– Okay so Fitz here is obviously meant to be a horrible person, but I have to acknowledge that he’s making a few good points: (1) the Doctor has admitted that he has a “sailable” ship, and it’s pretty rude of him to not even explain why he’s unwilling to help these dying men, and (2) it’s been bothering me the whole episode that the Doctor hasn’t been calling officers by their titles, and frankly, I do think Fitz is within his rights to demand the Doctor call him “Captain Fitzjames” rather than “Mr. Fitzjames” on Fitz’s own ship. Like, it’s not that hard.

– The Doctor’s first example of “ways the Franklin crew could mess up the time stream” is the insane scenario: “what if one of them married the mother of Winston Churchill.”

– The “Tuunbaq: The Prequel” can talk!!!!!! “Hello meat!!!” it says, gleefully.

– Tozer is just the fucking most. He punched the Doctor AGAIN.

– Crozier just “Mr. Fitzjames”ed Fitz!! And Fitz backed down! Crozier finally grew a spine! Just in time to decide to commandeer the Doctor’s ship.

– The Doctor’s ship inevitably disappears before it can be commandeered. Because of course. (Things and people disappear and get transported to different places and later times all through these episodes for timey~wimey~reasons.)

Episode 3

– A conversation between the two named female characters (Liak and the Doctor’s companion Christine)! What will they talk about? ...Their dead fathers. Ah. Hmm.

– This show is not sophisticated enough to handle a “white man’s disease killed my father” subplot. And yet, Liak’s father died of TB he contracted from the white men. I’m *worried*

– To help Liak overcome the superstitious antagonism of her “tribe” after her father’s death, Crozier apparently gave a bunch of food to the Inuit, which is an... interesting take. (One Irishman’s grand gesture fixes racism!)

– Magical Inuit shaman powers are only inherited through the male line (The racism and sexism in this is palpable.)

– So “Tuunbag Episode I: Revenge of the the Tuunbaq” is actually a larger coalition of aliens, run by a being called “Matriarx.” Can we decide whether woman are powerless victims or power-hungry monsters, please? Both is just greedy.

– RIP Strong (another tragic case of the triple threat: sudden onset scurvy, lead poisoning, AND Tuunbaq attack)

– Wait WAIT the Tuunbaq gave Strong the lead poisoning AND the scurvy by biting his neck and sucking his blood, stealing nutrients and leaving lead in their place: Ice Vampires!! I called it!!!

– Groups of people Fitz has verbally degraded: the Irish, the Inuit, all women, and now “common folk.”

Episode 4

– Le Vesconte’s first lines! He sounds like a Boy Scout, by which I mean he sounds about 16, and has an American accent? Also, Fitz pronounces his name “Leh-vay-cont”

– An AB named “Seeley” is writing an account of the events that are happening, perhaps as this show’s version of Bridgens and/or Peglar? Also Fitz is REALLY opposed to Seeley writing this, because Fitz hates “common folk” that much, apparently?

– RIP Seeley, we hardly knew ye.

– Major episode events: the walk-out begins, leaving Terror and Erebus just as the boats slip into another dimension because of alien reasons (this didn’t age well, now that we have the shipwrecks). Also, there’s an Inuit woman who is in league with the cybernetic-alien-Tuunbaq-vampires.

Episode 5

– As soon as the walk-out begins, the cybernetic-alien-Tuunbaq-vampires begin attacking.

– Boy Scout Le Vesconte: “I have an idea! If bullets won’t stop them maybe an axe will!” I mean, this is stupid enough for our Dundy, but he follows it up with “Murderers! I’ll hack you to pieces!” and rushes them like a child and has to be rescued. (Also Crozier is way WAY more concerned for Le Vesconte than Fitz is, though Fitz leaps into the rescue effort and Crozier... does not do that. He’s doing a lot of standing on the sidelines and bemoaning his dying men.)

– Peddie is basically just Crozier’s all-purpose lieutenant at this point. Little and Hodgson whomst?

– Le Vesconte, Fitz, and Tozer get struck by lightning WHILE fighting the Tuunbaq, and some Frankenstein stuff seems to happen, because Fitz now has the munchies. But like, the ominous munchies.

– Le Vesconte’s in something like a coma. The dumb boy-scout.

– While explaining why the Netsilik have legends about these aliens as “evil spirits,” the Doctor implies that errors in the historical record happen “especially” in oral traditions. Can we stop insulting the Inuit oral historians please?

– The cybernetic-vampire-aliens can mind-control their victims sometimes. Calling it now: Fitzjames is under the mind-control already.

– Liak is revealed to possibly be in cahoots with the aliens, because she has a necklace that her sister gave her that’s actually an alien tracker.

– Fitzjames, upon learning that Liak may be in league with aliens, attempts to physically kill her with his bare hands, and has to be restrained.

– Crozier hears murmurs about mutiny, and assigns this poor Marine named Hopcraft to find out more about the mutiny and report back to him. Next morning: RIP Hopcraft, first victim of the “we’re knifing each other” stage of events (aka this show’s Irving.)

Episode 6

– Lieutenant Little, who got separated from Fitzjames and Crozier, tries to comfort ship’s boy Chambers, whose use of the term “panic attacks” is a little anachronistic; a small gripe in the grand scheme of things.

– The Tuunbaq-aliens attack Little’s camp and wipe them all out, leaving Little to the last. Edward Little, a British Christian naval officer in the 1840s, gasps out “I’ll see you in Hades” as his dying words. (Someone write me Little/Irving neo-pagan fanfic for this mess?)

– The Doctor is playing detective, trying to solve Hopcraft’s death. He finds footprints, and both Liak and Tozer are missing.

– The Doctor calls attention to Tozer’s “enormous feet.” Weird.

– We have our first cannibalism! Perpetrated by Tozer, and uhhhh oh great we’re eating Dr. MacDonald for dinner tonight.

– Le Vesconte woke up from his coma just in time to brain Tozer to death.

– The Doctor: “There were no women’s bones at any of the sites [of the lost expedition remains]” that’s a hilarious comment given that one study suggesting as many as four female skeletons.

– RIP Le Vesconte, from his wounds, offscreen!! Nooo!!

– Tozer (and Fitzjames, and a few others), because they all got struck by the lightning, now have Frankenstein’s cannibalism curse. They all hunger for human flesh.

– Fitzjames is now a sneaky murderer-cannibal who manages to gain Crozier’s trust before turning around and trying to butcher him. As least my evil boy is smart?

Episode 7

– The big bad reveal: it’s Liak’s secret evil sister! (Just like Season 4 of Sherlock!) She’s been helping the Tuunbaq-aliens the whole time because she hates white men! Because they gave her dad TB and one of them broke her heart! Thanks, it’s bad!

– The Tuunbaq-aliens eat Liak’s sister anyway because they do not care.

– Liak, Crozier, the Doctor, and Christine are left to defeat the Tuunbaq-aliens.

– Fitz feels a little bad about eating people I guess? Also Fitz is “weak” and can’t resist his hunger and all those fun tropes.

Episode 8

– Fitzjames gets a redemption arc via heroic self-sacrifice narrative, complete with death via horrid gurgling. “He sacrificed himself in a last act of humanity.”

– The Doctor agrees to give Crozier a lift to somewhere a bit further south, on the assumption that Crozier will settle down with Liak and live with some “tribe” of other Inuit people that neither of them have ever met.

– There’s a parting joke about Crozier enjoying drinking wine that did NOT age well.

And that’s all, folks! Hope you... enjoyed?

#the terror #the terror amc #terrorposting #not putting a dw tag here #because im being really mean about this #and if you're a fan of the dwad i'm sorry #not my jam but whatever makes you happy #franklin expedition fictions #just to be safe #cannibalism cw #murder cw #sexism cw #racism cw #fitzjames abuse cw #they butchered my boy

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spaceysp · 3 years

Note

Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,

How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,

Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,

Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,

Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,

Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?

ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY

im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk

one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy

1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!

2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely)

bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder

3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date

leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else

4. health issues

bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you

5. bads nervous

this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)

i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now

OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO

this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date

NUMbeR tHree *airhorns*

they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal)

n u m b e r f o u r

where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him

NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them

What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options

1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy

2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy

3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other)

i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF)

i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))

ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon

#tw caps

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poisonedapples · 5 years

Note

3. rant. just do it

I used to watch this YouTube series called “Minecraft Diaries” a couple years ago and it was one of my BIGGEST hyperfixations, for fucks sake, I have a plushie and a poster from the store in my room still. But in the end of Season 2 it just started...sucking so bad. The main character “Aphmau” used to have these two main love interests (Garroth and Laurence) and it was SO awesome seeing her interactions with them, Laurance who said his crush from the get-go, and Garroth who was more secluded and professional with it, but also pretty obviously interested in her. But once Season 2 started, Aphmau literally had a love interest with every single fucking male character in all the series. Every single one. And these two main guys Garroth and Laurance got...pushed back by this dude Aaron that was supposed to represent the creator’s husband in real life. Which yeah, I get that you want your characters to have a relationship close to your own, but this dude came out of NOWHERE and Aphmau was IMMEDIATELY obsessed with him because “Oooh mysterious guy with dark past”. The main dudes who had SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT were literally thrown out the window. Like, majorly. Laurance straight up fucking disappeared from the main AND spin-off series for NO REASON and I still have no clue if he came back??? It’s been years???

Also Aphmau got randomly pregnant and was APPARENTLY A FUCKING GODDESS THE ENTIRE TIME, which...is literally the biggest Mary Sue to pull on the history of the universe. And the kid was just stupid and not necessary for the story, and then in early season three it seemed like there was a sliver of hope. Because the creator’s husband Jason was taking control of the writing instead and you could TELL it was getting better, but then Jessica (the creator) took control of it again and fucking...brought back Aaron from the dead. Then the main series just disappeared over time randomly? And was replaced by the spinoff series entirely? Where NONE of the characters act like themselves and instead like complete idiots (cause it was meant to be a funny SPINOFF)??? Once Aphmau and Aaron got engaged after one year of dating in the spinoff series I noped the fuck out of there man. The decisions for the series were just sO BAD and I was SO MAD cause man I miss my boy Garroth and I STILL DONT KNOW WHERE THE FUCK LAURENCE WENT WHERE IS HE

Jesus Christ that was SO much longer than I thought it would be offhdkdhdjd

#asks #Sorry to anyone who likes that series but #Man its just so bad for me now I dont like it at all

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widevibratobitch · 4 years

Text

Was tagged by @babinicz, thank you!!!!!!

Rules: POST 6 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF AND THEN PASS IT ON TO 10(+) OF YOUR FAVORITE FOLLOWERS

1) I am that kind of person that hiperfixates on things A LOT. Has always been. Sometimes I feel like my life is divided into chapters or eras by what I am currently hyperfixating on. It can be a little annoying since it often makes me completely unable to concentrate on real-life things though. And it is totally weird to me that most people I know don't really get those fixations, at least not as extremely as I do. (currently I'm in an Oscar Wilde phase, and I think I'm still doing a great job with not bombarding my mutuals with tons of Wilde-related content as much as I'd want to...)

2) When I laugh really hard, my knees kinda stop working and I collapse to the floor, even in the middle of a street. I just can't control it. It is a thing that I didn't appreciate for a long time until like a month ago. I had stopped experiencing it when i went to high school, and I had thought back then that well apparently my body finally learned how to control itself, nice. But some time ago I met with my friends from middle school (it was a music school, I find today that people there really were different), including my best friend, and it happened again and again. I realized then, that I just never really laugh that sincerely and never feel that comfortable and happy when I am with my "friends" from high school. Kinda sad but yeah, can't wait to meet them again and lose control over my legs again.

3) I used to love Maths in grade school. To the point when I once cried when I got a 4- (it's like a B- grade). In third class we got a new teacher and by the end of grade school I already hated Maths, but still got 5s (like, straight As). Then I went to middle school and I mostly survived on 3s, sometimes 2s (Cs, Ds). T h e n I went to high school and almost had to repeat the first year because of Maths (had to pass an exam in August), I struggle horribly to get that 40% at the end of the year, I am afraid that I won't pass the matura exam. I really used to love Maths, and if that's not the typical thing our educational system does to children...

4) During the day I can fall asleep always, everywhere. But once the time to go to sleep comes, I could lie in bed without moving for literal hours and still won't fall asleep. That's why I'm writing all this at 2 am, because my mother accidentally woke me up at midnight after I fell asleep in the evening, and now I just can't go back to sleep.

5) When I was 6, I wanted to be a nun and my biggest dream was to be a saint. Yeah, really. I guess that was the effect of my very religious grandparents and mother, and their constant brain-washing. I think I was about 12 or 13 when i finally learned to think for myself and refused to go to church with my mom - it was really hard for her, once or twice she literally dragged me to church by my hair, and every action of hers made me hate the church and religion even more. I still don't really like catholicism and honestly hate the christian God with all my heart, at least the way he is portrayed in the Old Testament. But I do think Jesus was a historical figure and a really cool dude. I love Jesus. I also know some religious people who are absolutely the best and I respect and will always fight for everyone's freedom to believe in whatever they want, as long as they leave the same freedom to me. Sometimes I really wish I could actually believe in something out-of-this-world, but I can't. I just can't.

6) I say A LOT of things ironically, but very often people don't get that, and it makes me look like an asshole. It happens way too often honestly. Thing is, that is just my sense of humor and I don't really control it or think too much of it. So I say a lot of racist or homophobic things in my Typical White Polish Man In A Patriotic Jumper Voice and people get mad and then I have to explain that I don't really mean that and it gets super awkward and yeah...

As before, I nominate basically the only people I talk to on this hellish website: @tornaloadir @acepolish @carlodivarga-s @simone-boccanegra @lessthansix @donnaimmaculata @amynion have fun or sth

#Tag games #I really love these #Im a narcissistic bitch what can i say i love to talk about myself

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drkoestersmithrpg · 4 years

Text

AUG DONE YAY!!! I’ll Post Tuesday Probably

“Don’t worry about it kid. Just ignore him. He’ll get over you and we can all get back to normal.”

War Machine’s advice was not in the least bit helpful for the youngest Avenger on the compound who had become, and rightly so, more than a little alarmed by Mr. Stark’s behavior.

It seemed like ever since the Avengers had encountered real aliens from space, the so-called Guardians of the Galaxy, and learned about various planets, each with their own threats, and the threat of some Over-Alien that was setting out on a mission to massacre half of the universe, well, Tony had gotten weird.

(Or maybe Tony had always been weird and Peter had never noticed before?)

No, actually, many Avengers had noticed it too. Tony’s inappropriate humor had always been a feature, not a bug, but recently it had been dialed up to 11. 11? Try 69. It wasn’t just that he was calling Peter “Underoos” again. It was more. Innuendos when people asked for facts. Dirty jokes when people asked for opinions. Double-entendres about the must mundane topics, to the point where no one could even ask ‘where are we going for dinner?’

And all of them, every single one of them, seemed to be of the homosexual variety.

To the point that Peter was beginning to fear that his hero, his idol and his fantasy-mentor (and his real life mentor for years now) was actually a homophobe.

“A homophobe? THE Tony Stark?? Nah kid, Tony is an unabashed Trisexual. He’ll try anything….and he never made any bones about it….”

Both of them winced, both of them turned to look even though they knew Tony wasn’t in the room. You couldn’t say the word ‘bones’ around Tony anymore, or any vaguely sexual word, including the word ‘it.’ That’s how bad it had gotten.

“Wait…..wait……are you saying….Tony is Bi?” Peter asked, trying to look surprised. Trying not to look overeager. Trying not to look like a kid who had actually recently gotten some information and was desperate to confirm it. Trying not to look like he had cornered Rhodey in an empty conference room just to ask this question.

“No,” said Rhodey.

Peter’s shoulders sagged.

“He’s a hedonist. Don’t worry about it kid. Just ignore him. He’ll get over you and we can all get back to normal,” Rhodey said dismissively, walking away, leaving Peter red-faced and gaping.

“Over me?”

“Over me??”

“When was I under him?”

* * * *

There were many theories about Tony’s new behavior, but Peter couldn’t find any that agreed with Rhodey….that it had something to do with him.

Fury blamed the Avengers state-of-readiness for over a year that resulted in absolutely nothing, no visit from the Ultimate Badguy bent on destroying half of Earth. Stress made people cranky, seemed to be his theory, and Tony’s new tourette syndrome was just a symptom of that stress.

Bruce (not a common feature around the compound for the last year but very good for information when he was around) pointed out that Tony didn’t like crowds unless they were cheering for him. “He doesn’t actually work well with others, he forces himself to work with others, thus all the grants and outsourcing, but it’s a lot of effort. If he can’t got for 3 minutes without making a dirty joke, maybe he just needs to go back into hiding for a while. We’re all hermits, after a fashion.” Peter hoped desperately that wasn’t true (he didn’t WANT Tony to go into hiding) but he certainly took Bruce’s perspective seriously. He knew a lot about Tony. And a lot about hermits.

Black Widow would probably have the best explanation for Tony’s odd behavior. Analyzing human behavior was her job. But Nat wasn’t talking.

So Peter soldiered on. He was the only Avenger who went to training and attended meetings in full costume, mask on at all times. The story was it was to protect his secret identity. The truth was, the mask covered all facial expressions. Tony’s obscenities, no matter how constant, still took him by surprise. Under the mask, no one could see him blush.

Because truth be told, so many of those inappropriate jokes seemed to be aimed at him.

Most Avengers seemed to agree that the new Rated R version of Tony Stark corresponded with the visit from the storied Guardians of the Galaxy.

But in Peter’s mind, it also seemed to start the same day he turned 20 years old, and bragged, in Tony’s hearing, that he had celebrated with a special party in Boystown.

He had done it very much on purpose – it had been part of his plan.

Only the results were not….good. Almost overnight Tony was x y and z. [every bad guy needed a good fucking, every x ato to they y, every complaint from Peter indicated he needed to get laid. Tony had always joked about everything, but now the jokes were not only gay-related, they were downright hostile. Peter had never heard the word ‘faggot’ on the Avenger’s compound before (the entire compound, Avengers and military alike, knew Caps’ “Language” rule) and he heard it out of Tony’s mouth that very night. It was Peter’s birthday dinner in one of the compound’s dining rooms where Tony had asked for a ‘real drink for me, not some faggoty ass waterdawon drink. We’ll save that for Pete.”

(That was the day Peter realized his life would be better if he just kept the mask on at all times.)

Finally, after a great deal of soul-searching about his Get Tony Stark Into Bed plan and weather or not he even to be in the same room with that man, he cornered Nat and Rhodey (the two people he considered the best informed) and demanded answers.

“Kid…you’re smart. Don’t let him rile you up.” That was Rhodey, who seemed a little hostile himself. He clearly did not want to be having this conversation.

“But that’s what I don’t get….why is this about me?”

Rhodey and Nat exchanged a look.

Then Nat looked at him, and seemed to make a decision.

“Parker, you announced you were gay, sexually active and legally of age all in the same sentence.”

Peter wished, for a moment, he still had his mask on. Apparently he hadn’t been as subtle that night as he had thought.

“So….wait…..are you saying this is him….flirting with …..me?”

Nat shrugged. “Little girls get their ponytails pulled by boys who have crushes on them every day. They learned to live with it.”

“No they don’t” Peter countered. “My friend MJ had her hair pulled by a boy in 3rd grade who said he like liked her and he got sent to counseling.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes and said murmured something about Millennials.

“Gen Z,” Peter pointed out, raising a hand.

“Exactly – Gen X jokes are going to sound wrong to Gen Z ears…..”

“Wrong? Half of what comes out of his mouth could be considered sexual harassment in 50 states!”

“Parker!” That was Rhodey again. “I’ve seen these hyperfixations before. They go away. Aren’t you supposed to be intelligent? Be intelligent. DON’T fall for him, DON’T let him talk you into bed. Just wait for it to pass over.”

“Let him….talk me into……”

“Kid, don’t do it.” That was Nat. “If Pepper Potts couldn’t tame that mess no one can.”

Nat gave a nod to Rhodey, who took it as a cue to exit, leaving the two of them alone together.

“Look,” she said gently. “No one will tell you to your face, but we’re all looking forward to when you leave for school again. Tony will tone it down after you leave. And if you stay away long enough, he’ll just get over you.

“I can see what you’re thinking, Peter, and you don’t want to do this. Tony has always been a comedian. This is just a new routine. You think if you let him talk you into bed, this will get any easier for you? You’re Gen Z, you talk about your feelings. Tony just talks in one-liners.

“It’s hard work dating a comedian, kid.

“It can’t end well.”

* * * *

Tired of walking around with a mask on daily, and lonely for his friends (who knew the difference between flirting and Hostile Work Environment) Peter took Nat’s advice and left early. Back in New York he spent his weeks before the semester began researching the psychology of humor, and the sociological limitations of being gay in the 80’s. It was eye-opening. Also appalling.

But the psychology of humor was very interesting – Peter read that when a group, any group, laughed together, the individuals would indistinctly glance at the person they felt connected with. The article suggested reading room to ‘learn who is secretly sleeping together’ but in general the article dealt with office culture and social hierarchies. Still, the tidbit was confusing.

Every time the group laughed together, Tony always seemed to be glancing at him.

But the longer he spent away from Tony the more the offensive jokes faded in his memory and the more he remembered just how bad his crush on the man had become (and exactly how far he was into his detailed plan to get into Tony’s pants.)

He wasn’t expecting to actually run into the actual man in New York any time soon, but within a week he did. The Avenger Parties at Stark Tower seemed to becoming more frequent, it seemed to Peter. At least this was the 2nd one in 2 months. Peter wondered vaguely if it was a ploy to make him hang with the Avengers with his face showing – he was invited to attended these things in suit as “Mr. Stark’s intern.”

Walking into the party he felt, very suddenly, unarmed (more specifically, unarmored.) He had relied so much on his mask to hide his face whenever Tony was inappropriate.

That’s why he silently determined to just avoid Tony altogether.

Chapter 2

Tony stiffed at the sight of Peter holding a glass of wine. It didn’t matter how many times he reminded himself (or Peter) that Peter was now of age. It still struck him as wrong.

But not as wrong as Bruce’s arm around Peter’s shoulders.

He had already passed them once, talking a mile-a-minute with Bruce and Dr. Cho about the tech behind the cradle. He couldn’t begrudge Bruce and Peter their shop talk (although the double twinges of jealousy took him by complete surprise. He and Bruce had been so long ago, it seems.)

Mostly, he was just irritated that the kid seemed to be avoiding him.

But now – oh this definitely was not right.

He couldn’t be caught staring, so he made his rounds, taking in furtive glances at the two across the room. He must have been mistaken about the arm, Peter and Bruce and some other tech guys were just talking now, and it looked perfectly normal.

Then he lost sight of them.

Then he caught them again, standing by the window alone.

They weren’t talking shop, that was certain. Bruce had his arm on Peter’s back, was leaning over, was speaking directly into his ear. Acceptable in a crowded room, but they were far away enough from the crowd to make Tony see red.

Especially when Peter grinned, ducked his head, then turned and said something into Bruce’s ear.

What Bruce said next made Peter laugh and cover his face, and that’s when Nat appeared in front of him and said “Don’t be jealous.

“They’re talking about you.”

She turned her head to ignore his gape. She pretended to scan the room as she spoke. “Not that I care, Tony, but if you really want to hook up with a Gen Z you are going to have to clean up your act. Reinstate Steve’s “language” rule. Poor kid thinks you’re a homophobe.

“What…..me?”

He respected Nat’s intelligence, so when she looked at him that way, he took it seriously.

“New generation, Tony. They don’t care what you DID 20 years ago, all they care about is what you’re doing now, and what you’re doing now is recycling gay jokes from the 80’s. He honestly thought you were mad at him.

“Just…go…flirt with him like a normal person. Take him on date. He’s into you – he’s quizzed everyone who knows you about your sex life.”

* * * * *

Peter left the party grinning from ear to ear.

Even though he never actually spoke to Tony that night. The man disappeared from his own party, but no one thought that was particularly unusual. Nat, at least, seemed to think that way. She gave him a warning look when he asked after the man, but when she spoke, she was gentle.

“Consider the perils of dating a comedian, Peter.”

“Yeah you told me that.”

“The Millennials way is to exchange facts about emotions. Comedians just exchange one-liners.”

“I’ll take that under advisement,” Peter said, but he couldn’t help but smile.

He went downstairs to the car Tony had waiting for him, smiling all the way.

He had found out a LOT from Bruce that night, information he needed, information he intended to use.

But that wasn’t the best part.

“Consider the perils of dating a comedian” he said to himself as he raced down the stairwell to the garage.

The litany of inappropriate humor wasn’t an attack or a slight, it was a sign of interest. He could identify the intent, while simply ignoring the actual language. He didn’t have to speak Tony’s language, he just had to understand it.

“Consider the perils of dating a comedian” he whispered to himself when Tony’s driver took him home.

“Consider the perils of dating a comedian” he murmured to himself as he lay on his bed in his dormroom that night.

He went to bed with a smile on his face.

Because all he could think was…

………… “I’ve got a chance to date Tony Stark.”

#The Perils Of Dating Tony Stark

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