#I thought we were friends. we text a lot

[vampirepunks]

Since Kojima’s been saying that the Death Stranding film is going to tell a story that can only be told through the film medium, I really hope it’s a prequel to the game. There are a lot of background events represented through text and dialogue that wouldn’t translate well to a video game format on their own.

It’d be really cool to see the start of the Stranding, Victor and Igor’s backstory (as seen in the DS novelization), snippets from Sam’s childhood/early years with Bridges, the development and construction of the chiral network, and most of the events described in Higgs’ journals.

Coffin’s decision to leave her family behind, start a terrorist uprising by radicalizing the porters who unknowingly abetted human sacrifices by delivering BBs for the chiral network, and the decision to adopt Higgs as her protégé? That story alone would be worthy of a film.

#just thoughts #i would kill to see little baby Peter #and witness his Becoming™️ from that scared kid into the man we know and love #i know that ‘new world with a new sky’ moment would be POWERFUL #and what of his porter partner who died? what did that relationship look like? how close were they? #what of his relationship with Fragile after Coffin died? having a best friend who probably never saw his face? #not to mention his tragic rise to power and the secrecy that came with it. having to kill to maintain his DOOMS because people needed him #like he was handpicked as the inheritor of a rebellion against Bridges/the UCA and suddenly ended up with a LOT of responsibility when- #-Coffin died. and suddenly he was living a double life to care for and protect the people of the Western region #and those folks responded by calling him King Midas. naming him after a folk hero whose defining tragedy is being powerful but alone #everything he touched turn to gold but it’s so hard to form connections when you can’t shake hands #(sorry not sorry lol) #it’s such a complicated and nuanced backstory & so many people don’t even know about it because it’s in hard-to-reach texts & a side quest #idk I just think it’d make a really good movie. bonus points if it canonized him being a repatriate #it’d make a really good sci-fi political thriller/horror #i would vaporize in my seat if it cold opened with higgs saying 'once there was an explosion...' but now i'm just being self-indulgent #death stranding #death stranding movie #death stranding a24 #higgs monaghan #logan.txt

[fakeoutbf]

five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety

#walk with me #this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere #the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad #count on the person** #i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them #in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other #it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time #idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too #so we’ve been more properly friends lately #and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to #gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it #and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention #(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention) #anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all #weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone #so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever #and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more #and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted #they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture #and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek #i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on #bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other #flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc #i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed #but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers #and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious?????? #your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up??? #if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right??? #so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend #delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something

[mazzy-rockstar]

Monday blues are hitting me hard today

#you can ignore this if you want cause im gonna talk a lot of shit and sads and feelings #but as i’ve realised i literally have no one to empty my heart out to irl #and it’s fucking heartbreaking cause i love my friends but I don’t think they love me back #which is an insane though but I genuinely think it’s true like #i moved away 4 ish months ago and i know that communication comes from both side but like i wanted to test smt #so i stopped texting first and guess what?? only 2 friends texted me #1 because she’s genuinely a good friend i think and the other because she needed money (which i gave her like a fucking fool) #my heart just hurts cause i realised i’m not as important to them as they are to me and I’m completely misreading our relationship and #it sucks because I thought they were going to be my friends for life but now they’re all posting recaps of 2023 and im in none of their pics #even in pics where i was present at the time #and i dont know if it’s intentional or if im just being an insecure little bitch but it fucking hurts #i just want to be important to someone #i want to be someone’s person #not a last resort like #they keep doing stuff together which i get like life moves on and i’m the one that left #but not a single text or a pic or a ‘we miss you!’ #not even a fucking heart on insta stories #am i being desperate?? or do I actually have shitty friends #like i have impostor syndrome in my own fucking friendgroup??? #I can’t just drop them either cause then I’ll actually have no one #idk i must exude some sort of energy #i dont think ive ever had a genuine good best friend like for some reason they leave after 3 years #(and this is why i have trust issues and attachment disorders) #anyway I’ll probably just suck it up and go about my day #ive lived 24 years like this what’s an entire life #it’s wild cause i have a good time whenever i’m with them (i think) and then i leave and it’s crickets #i feel like hired entertainment sometimes #idk my head hurts so I’m probably overthinking but like these feelings come from somewhere right? #i have to stop

[emdotcom]

I changed my mind. Hater behavior is undeserved, when it comes to works, & idgaf about holding creators accountable when their games are mid, anymore.

#em.txt #now i only care about how you treat your workers tbh #so there are still series i hate. but now I don't want to be mean to people who put time & effort into making shit #this is about post shift 2. people were too fuckin mean to Rjac for a game he made for free #& as a bitch who loves that game a lot i see your criticisms i understand. but you're not gonna be mean to him abt this #that fucking teen that held that interview & told him he needed to be held accountable for his mistakes. god #he made this shit for free across four years. what can happen in four years? what did he work through? #to deliver you a free game. even if you don't fucking like the game if you invite a creator on to talk about their works #you don't fucking talk to them the way uyeah did. shit was cruel & uncalled for. #this game is fucking good but it's forever going to be burried as a game that's complicated with weird tutorials #ps2 is fun. you should try it. if you don't get it -- ask. I'll answer any question at any time #i will vc you i will write a text doc -- whatever you want. more people need to experience this fucking game #it's compelling in a way few games are to me. #i can homestly only compare it to rain world but not for a reason that's overt & easy to explain. more in how it feels to play #rather than what you do. #man. idk. i gotta learn how to talk about shit i love without being mean now #this started because i was talking mad shit to my friends & it asked me to stop because i was downtalking something she loved a lot #& i realized this isn't fun for people. i thought we were having fun but tbh? I'm just a mean negative bitch #& that's not fun. that's mean. #i have to redo this character arc from when i was 13 because i guess I didn't learn it the first time around #cynicism doesn't make you funny or cool. it makes you mean & unfun to be around. finding kind things to say is tougher. #if you can present your criticism nicely then maybe you can criticize too #but that alone does not a good critique make & it definitely don't make you fun at parties #listen. i am still gonna be a bitch. but i am going to be less of one.

[wherela]

one of those crying in the shower kind of days

#my 'best friend' stood me up today #and by stood me up i don't mean canceled last minute i mean didn't show up and only responded to my calls and texts after 45 min #why? she was hanging out with some guy (she met him last week. he's not a christian.) and lost track of time #she's also initiated no contact with me over the last few weeks #the explenation was she thought i was busy with my thesis. as if you can't check in on someone when they're busy #she also gosted me for 3 days (like a month ago??) cause she was asked to share at student group and i couldn't go CAUSE I WAS SICK #I'm just so tired of it at this point #but it's also made me realise i dont really have any close friends #i have lots of friends. sure. and i trust them too. but it's not the kind of close where i can write to them when I've got a problem #like maybe I'd tell them live if they asked me? but I wouldn't really write to them it would just be weird #and so who do I tell that I met S's parents yesterday and even though so many things have happened since then already thats the only one #I can think about???? or that he actually CALLED ME afterwards specifically to tell me what they thought of our church #or that his mom apparently asked him if our relationship was still weird and he said 'yes' and I've been overthinking it cause i thought we #were finally okay and normal and genuinely just friends? #or that his mom said my look is that i dress vintage and it made me SO HAPPY!! that's my look!!! that's how I'm recognisable!!! #the answer is nobody. i have no one to tell :( #mine #s #I'm sorry I guess I had to vent this prolly turned out really really long

[boys-and-such]

sometimes i mayhaps would like a boyfriend

#so here is my life rn im going to explain using letters representing people instead of their names bc there are two people w the same name #a and b are dating and c and d are dating then band d cheat on their respective partners w each other and a and c want to date and they #find out abt the cheating so they all start dating - b c and d are in a play that i am in along with e and f #e and f are also dating - f is one of the only other trans people in the cast so we talked a lot and he said he thought he only liked girls #and was thinking about breaking up with e because he is also a trans guy #one day we were going home from rehearsal and f left then e and i were watching b c and d say bye to each other all loveydovey #and e said he wanted that and i said yeah me too and he mumbled something i couldn't hear and i was like 'yeah' bc i couldn't tell and he #said 'join me!' and held out his hand and i took it and boom we were holding hands (his skin was very soft in case you're wondering) and we #shared phone numbers and said that's like how he started dating f and i was like oh interesting and we left and i realised he was asking me #to date him and i was like okay free bf! two free bf! then he texted me and said f didn't want me in their relationship and oh. no free bfs #and then flash forward i was in the friend group with a b c and d and i made friends with a super controlling guy who didn't want me to be #friends w the friend group and only him and was all 'if you're friends w them that means you don't like me' and we were friends w benefits #so i ditched that friend group for him and he was mean to them and wanted me to be like that too so i was kinda rude to them #flash forward again i finally left the toxic guy wow i have no friends now i was in 1st yr high school but e was in last year middle school #i didnt talk to him much bc i was focused on school stuff and now this year e is in first year of hs and im in the second year and he's #hanging out w the old friend group and I noticed him even before i knew who he was and i was like oh that person seems really cool hm #wonder who he is hes friends with old friend group how interesting OH that is e he looks different but he looks cute and now i kinda want #to text him bc he's in one of my lunches and he was in student council on friday and we looked at each other and i waved hi but he didn't #wave back and now im worried hes heard that im mean bc the old friend group but i still like him bc we were really good friends but also #ive been thinking about what might have happened if we did start dating and i really want to text him but i only have him on snapchat bc id #what happened to his phone number but i don't have it anymore #i really want to talk to him but snapchat gives me anxiety and idk what he thinks of me now #but i really want to talk to him!!!!! #help #what #should #i #do #does looking at him count as flirting #zen is gay :]

[rithmeres]

you guys should read this thing my friend wrote

“Your thoughts about Marcus Aureulis’ Meditations are just as valid as the thoughts of a PhD in philosophy and the Amazon delivery driver on your street, as long as everyone can provide evidence in the text for what they think. Maybe that is an obstinate, anti-intellectual thing to say, but I hold it to be true. Critical thinking has no educational barrier, and education comes with no obligation to instill critical thinking in its recipient.”

#media consumption #i just find it so interesting that he & i have been having similar thoughts on similar topics at similar times #despite him moving to the east coast and us not really talking anymore. and we were just work friends lol we weren’t even that tight #lots of people just. idk expect someone to tell them what to think about a certain thing #instead of reading the thing for themselves and discovering what it says through their own interaction with the text #and sometimes people will come to wrong conclusions and sometimes they will come to right ones #but most of the time conclusions are not right or wrong they are just different #because they are informed by the reader's biases and experiences #and sometimes people read what they want to into a text instead of taking it on its own #and sometimes that's good and sometimes that's bad #but i think telling someone they have to read a text through another person's predigested lens is a far more anti-intellectual practice

[horrorwebs]

fucking hell fucking hell is she gonna reject me? i want to let sth out for a second and didnt want to tell my psychologist until i have answers so. tags it is

#so. i told my friend i like her. i really really do you cant imagine how much. this was while i was away on a trip last week and we were #messaging.honestly i wanted to be brave enough to tell her in person but i tried already and i was tired of waiting for 'the perfect moment #i was tired of not doing anything ever and watching my life go by. so i drann a bit and told her. not bc i was a bit drunk thats just an #excuse. i was plenty conscious and still scared as fuck (so much that after i sent the message i took a lap around the building lol) #she said i should be scared first. then that she wasnt sure what to say. in her words 'more yes than no. but i dont know what to say' #understandable. she prob wasnt expecting it and its not amazing to have a conversation like that through text (despite the fact that our #relationship has always relied heavily on texting cause weve always stayed up talking. like from day 1) #anyway. she said that before we met she had a crush on me (i already knew this) and that she sometimes felt this way too wbut was scared i #didnt feel that way as well and didnt wanna risk anything so didnt do anything (granted. but she DID say plenty of ambiguous things + #told me i could sleep w her then um. slept on top of me. hugging. you know) #my friend said this was a good sign i was nervous and told her that i thought it was weird and she said her response was p good #and later she uploaded on her cf story a video that said a ring she shares w me is her 'married ring' so i think thats good?? #but also. we havent talked yet (hard to do in 15 min at school) and i have a bad fweling #i feel shes going to say sth like she likes me but doesnt want to risk what we have esp considering her other friends sometimes treat her #badly/exclude her and that shes worried if we fight we are going to lose our friendship + shes going to lose my friends as well #which is well. stupid of course. because i always want her in my life. i think she knows this. i want her to know this. #ever since we met i want her in my life and i cant stop thinking about her and how i miss her and her eyes and how she hugs me and GOD #THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE SAW EACH OTHER AFTER I WENT ON A WEEK LONG TRIP SHE FUCKIN. LIFTED ME OFF THE GROUND AND. CARRIED ME AROUND #HONESTLY IT WAS A BIT EMBARASSING THERE WERE LOTS OF PPL SRIUND AND IM A VERY PRIVATE PERSON BUT I WAS SO HAPPY !!!! #and idk i just dont want her to reject me. shes the first person i really like and i see myself together with. we have so much in common an #we understand each other and we are GOOD for each other. shes so good for my life and i want to believe i am as awell and god how i #want to kiss her and call her my girlfriend and just. agh #its exhausting liking someone huh #loveposting #spikeposting #if anyone has read this far omg hi thank you what do you think?

[reginaofdoctorwho]

everyone tells you your friends will drift apart once you all graduate but no one tells you how much it fucking hurts

#like i thought i had a pretty strong friend group in high school #currently i have maybe four friends that don't really talk a lot? #one of them has a new job and is working nightshift #one has been getting into different jobs/relationships and doesn't really have time anymore for us? #i mean she does sometimes text and ask if i wanna get high w her and her boyfriend which is cool #but the last time i saw her in person was probably a couple months ago #and then one is still friends w everyone somehow #and hangs out w people gets invites to grad parties #and the last one has a crush on tbe former that is unrequited #so that's getting pretty frigid #i'm just so goddamn lonely #we never text never call #almost any plans are last minute because someone else fell through #like high school is shit and i wouldn't wanna go back #but at least i fucking saw people back then #now the only messages i get are like once a month memes #and guys who were seniors when i was a freshman who realize we went to the same school and are trying to fuck #do you know how lonely you have to be to have a dream of hanging out with the girl who told you she hoped you'd kill yourself? #i fucking miss her #she was shitty as hell but she was usually fun to be around

[protectcosette]

the way that i am constantly hurt by people assuming i'm being mean and then judging me on that instead of actually seeing what i'm saying

#a friend is cancelling plans we had tonight bc when she asked for an address i gave the name of the place and then said #'i sent you details last week right? time and ticket stuff?' bc i wanted to make sure they still had that info #and they thought i was saying 'i already told you where to go just look at that' when that was very much not what i meant #and they sent me a whole long text about how they were confused and asking for help and they're just not gonna come anymore #i drew a little map for her and everything :( but she thought i was just being bitchy and I having really big feelings about this #bc this meant a lot to me but also like. why would she just assume that's what i meant if she didn't already see me as a kinda rude person #idk. i'm just really upset about this. feel kinda sick to my stomach about it #certified protectcosette original #personal

[paperconsumption]

:|

#i’m friends with this guy and like i haven’t thought about romance in sooo soo long #so tonight when he was like hey wanna get dinner sometime #i just blanked completely on what to do. i’m pretty sure he was asking me out? but also maybe no #but i didn’t properly reject him i technically agreed just cuz i didn’t know what else to do #but we didn’t decide on a time and date or anything i was just like yeah text me #i just. someone expressing romantic interest in me makes me feel so weird and so strange i don’t like it at all #it’d be nice if it were a friend dinner id like that a lot. but prolly not :( #a solution would be to like. come out. and i’m pretty sure he’d be chill with it #but i hateeee coming out and having to explain everything why do i have to explain it every time

[figuerockfaeth]

.

#i just found out someone i thought i was good friends with has me blocked on twitter :( #i’m still following their old account but they made a new one i guess but i’m blocked #i feel like it might be a mistake though bc the reason i found out #is i’m still on their private insta and snap stories #and they posted a screenshot of their tweet and i was like ‘omg *** is back on twitter i’ll go like their tweet’ #and then when i searched up their n am e i was blocked #anyway it made me sad :( but then i thought about it #and feel like maybe they just blocked everyone we went to college with automatically when they remade #bc lots of people there were pretty awful to them #but then bc of that i was like holy shit was i mean to them at some point without realizing?? #but after they left and i graduated we still texted so i feel like that’s not it #anyway i’ll probably text them soon not to tell them i low key stalked their twitter #but just to check in #and see if we’re good #i just hate texting #personal #delete later

[meteoritesystem]

and theres the horrors. right on time !

#luv being a system cuz im like i hate my brother ! idk why tho #also i just remembered that 2 of my friends went nd got piercings without me . feelsbadman #im trying 2 tbink like. #did i do anything that day where i wouldntve been able to go #the answer is no btw ^_^ #and ive wanted to get piercings for YEARS nad we’d talked abt going 2gether a Lot so like. why wasnt i invited :( #like idk they can hang out without me idc. ive hung out w them seperately thats how friendship works lol #but like. when its smth ive wanted to do for years. that i thought we were going to do together. :( #im sure they didnt mean anyrhing by it But what if they did They didnt . ljke #text #neg

[oatbugs]

IM SO FUCKING PISSED RN . tonight was bad but good but bad

also ran out of tag space so rest of tags in rb

#the only other autistic person amongst my friends was like one of my closest friends and i just . ughh #basically we used to hang out a lot esp into sunrise etc and hed tell me abt his problems andnstuff and i just #had to delay my exam and thenfire and everything and i thought hed be there for me too and we all met up last night and i was like #hi i need to vent and he said . and i quote . get in line bitch . which was bad and also weird #he then proceeded to leave without a word after like an hour . and my other friends said he was just in a bad mood etc but whatever it felt #weird . and i texted him that night to check up saying hey u seemed a bit upset are u ok etc and he ignored it #while responding to stuff on the GC . and i was obviously upset bc he said that and proceeded to ignore the text etc #and what he said wasnt ok . anyway tonight we met up and he showed up super late and like . didnt talk to me the whole time despite making #direct eye contact and when we were leaving the bar i literally told him hey stop being a dick bro . like w a smile but like yh #and he kind of got rly upset and his first question was is this bc i talked to K and not you (K being one of the only girls in the group) #(who also treated me weirdly but whom i still care for a lot which he should Know) and i said no its bc you ignored my text after being rly #rude last night. meanwhile my friend with whom i had a kind of deal w for like . not smoking and stuff . took a long drag off a cigarette #and obviously i just saw it happen and his hair being too messy and idk it was like an instant heartbreak kind of moment like why would u #do this you said youd never smoke so i kind of just . looked at him and asked him why hes doing this and he looked back and kept smoking . #upsetting situation but the friend i was talking abt first took this as me walking away from him or whatever ?? like bro ? you see this #happening in front of you #anyway a bit later on into the walk i fall back w him and i ask if he wants to talk and he literally fucking #proceeds to say how he left that night bc his discord friends were doing smth better or whatever and he was standing behind me and i didnt #talk to him first and how he doesnt want to talk and hes sick of talking to people meanwhile im out here being a bitch #and as hes saying all of this hes getting louder so i tell him to not raise his voice bc our friends are in front of us #and i dont want this to be a fight i just wajted to talk to him and he blows up even louder like NO IM NOT GOING TO LOWER MY VOICE IM #TRYING TO MAKE A POINT and he keeps going abt how im being bitchy and he was just right there and i apparently ignored him or whatever . #and like i just let him talk bc i was like . hes not calming down so im gonna let him say whatever and then respond calmly . he then #proceeds to leave . just turns around and leaves w no chance for me to say anything #i had bigger concerns (i.e. drunk friend) but it was still so fucking confusing like ??? i texted u if ur ok and u ignored it why is it #now on me to approach u irl again ? what gives u the right to raise ur voice at me and call me a bitch ? #what gives u the right to be a dick to us but esp to tell me to get in line just bc ur friends are on discord and ppl are chewing too loud? #like what the FUCK bro. but anyway after that we went to a park and i talked to my friends friend and we had a lot in common and it was #like 1-3 AM but ppl kept coming and going and laying down and sitting on the swings and playing old music #and staring at the stars there were so so many stars . i checked up on my friend who smoked and made sure he was ok etc (S

[steviescrystals]

guys things are happening

#so i met this girl at work last summer and we clicked right away and we were super close for a while #and it was really only a few months but i considered her one of my best friends #and then both of us got promoted to basically shift leads and right after that things just got really weird between us #i never figured out what exactly happened but it was just like tense and off which sucked bc the time before that was so much fun #but i just pushed it aside bc i still wanted to be friends with her and i was hoping it would just pass i gués #and THEN a couple months later she got promoted to store manager which was… shocking #i want to make it super clear i did not want to be manager and i truly was not jealous of her job #but i just did not think she was the right choice for manager bc after working super closely with her for months #i had seen her do sooo much shit that was either not allowed or just like not correct and straight up kinda dumb?? #but none of the higher ups knew about it bc i would always help her fix her mistakes bc she was my friend and i wanted things done right yk #so anyway she became manager and our friendship just got even weirder bc suddenly she was my boss and i did not think she was a good manager #as much as i still loved her as a person she just got on my nerves a lot at work bc of the way she was running things #THEN a month after that annual company wide layoffs happened and i got laid off 😍 which i have vented a ton about on here bc it was awful #and the one bright side to it was that i thought maybe our friendship could start to go back to normal now that we didn’t work together #but instead she pretty much stopped talking to me completely aside from sending me a tiktok occasionally #so i was like okay this sucks but oh well i’ve got my own shit to deal with now that i’ve gotten laid off so i’ll just give her space #and tbh i was just hoping a band we both like would go on tour soon or something so i’d have a good opportunity to ask her to hang out again #BUT THEN she texted me a few minutes ago and turns out she just got fired??? #which does not happen often at that job btw there’s very low turnover i think only like 2 people got fired the whole time i worked there #usually layoffs are the only time people end up leaving #and it’s weird bc i spent all that time thinking it was a bad choice for them to make her manager and she wasn’t doing a good job #but i’m still somehow surprised??? #and i feel so guilty bc i talked so much shit about the whole thing with one of my other friends bc her management pissed me off so bad #and it’s not like me talking about it with someone who didn’t even work there caused her to get fired but i still feel so bad #like yeah i do think she shouldn’t have been manager in the first place but i would never wish that on someone yk #so idk i’m just like in a very weird headspace rn!! #vent #lj.txt

[arcane-strangeness]

#Delete later #There's so much shit happening in my life right now and this has been haunting the back of my mind for ages and I just ugh #What do you do when your boyfriend is going through some fucked up shit and won't respond to your texts asking if he's ok if he wants to #Hang out later or even just talk about things #Like I asked if he wanted to go to a mall later and it turns out he's going to mfing Arizona and. Didn't tell me at all? #He's going through a lot of stuff right now but I kinda want just like. Basic details of what he's doing? #So I can talk to him without sounding like a idiot? And not have to worry about him when he ghosts me for a couple weeks? #And the whole reason I'm questioning things isn't because he's being frustrating I've been thinking about this for a looong time #At first I thought I might have just been demi aro? Because like we were best friends before we were in a relationship #And I really do care about him I just don't know to what extent (what defines romantic attraction anyways? Never been clear on that) #And I'd break up with him and say I just need a couple weeks to sort things out and I think he'd understand #But also he really doesn't need that stress right now things have been getting really bad on his end #Our relationship isn't actively hurting me but if this trend continues it might eventually #I just really want to talk to him. About things. I hope I'm not doing a bad job handling this #Ufhfhdjajajajahrgehehh #Worth mentioning that Phoebe from Ghostbusters is making me question things as well. #Things are confusing all of the time :(