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coquelicoq · 2 months

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9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

i was tagged by @littleragondin! mci mon ami.e !

3 Ships You Like: in a kim dojka & yoo sangah platonic life partners phase rn. god. they would get married but not because they particularly care about marriage, just to bypass the hoops the government makes single people jump through in order to adopt kids, but kim dokja would seriously hesitate for the sole reason that him marrying yoo sangah would make all three of his parents very happy in a way that he would find incredibly annoying.

ok i'm doing another platonic one: moon & ember! i have read the few existing moon & ember fics so many times i can no longer separate them from canon. their dynamic is everything 2 me. bodyguard & anger translator. damaged hottie with trust issues & naive little pretty boy who just wants to go home. moon sees ember as not just a romantic rival but also a threat to his place in the colony, and of course being moon, his reaction to that is not to challenge ember but just to assume that he's been replaced and that he has to start over again alone. ember is everything that moon is not, everything he's convinced he's supposed to be, but ACTUALLY they're both perfect the way they are and there's room enough in this court for the both of them. they are so powerful when they combine their complementary skillsets for the good of the colony. plus i love that every time he interacts with anyone moon is probably thinking, "ugh, i bet EMBER wouldn't be fucking this up"…but also he's defending ember when stone makes fun of him and offering to challenge the reigning queen on ember's behalf! he's protective of ember even as ember embodies everything that makes him insecure. meanwhile ember thinks moon is the coolest person to ever exist and also. extremely cringe. probably 25% of his pillow talk is him subtly trying to convince pearl that moon is just a little birthday boy who should be allowed to be a hugely oversensitive weirdo, as a treat.

people have been rbing some of my cherry magic posts recently so i've been thinking about kurodachi again. i miss them! they're so well matched, so complementary in the ways that they need to grow, and it's lovely to watch them help each other do that. the way that adachi is inspired to make an effort by kurosawa's continuous striving for things he thinks he'll never get, and the way that adachi's apathy for perfection frees kurosawa from his need to be worthy…like ok fine whatever i am listening!!!

First Ship Ever: i have been sitting here trying to think of an earlier ship so i can avoid embarrassing myself, but if i'm honest it's probably ron/hermione. moving right along.

Last Song You Heard: one week by barenaked ladies! what a banger.

Favorite Childhood Book: when i was a kid i had meticulously curated my top ten favorite books, but now i can only remember half of them: island of the blue dolphins, the witch of blackbird pond, ella enchanted, walk two moons, and mrs. frisby and the rats of nimh. can you tell i had one of those bookmarks that listed all the newberry award winners and was working my way through it? lol.

Currently Reading: i just finished my reread of maskerade, the discworld book about the opera, which i had put on hold after reading le fantôme de l'opéra. it wasn't one of my fave discworlds as a teen but i think i'm now in the right headspace for it. enjoyed it quite a bit!

i'm near the end of both the traitor baru cormorant by seth dickinson and par amour by valérie tong cuong. the latter is about a family in le havre during wwii and is very hard to put down. i have honestly no idea what will happen in the remaining two chapters except the nazis are going to lose the war. the traitor baru cormorant is well done, but i don't think i like it enough to read the sequel. (i still am pathologically unable to stop a book that i've started, but i've just discovered that i am capable of stopping after book 1 of a series. life hack!!)

Currently watching: natsume season 4 dub! i just watched the moon-splitting festival arc and the baby nanase episode yesterday. next up is the one about natsume's picture of his parents which. like. let's just say i am marshaling my emotional forces for that one.

also it is about to be march madness! selection sunday tomorrow babey!!!

Currently consuming: the great thing (sarcastic) about living alone is that you spend four hours making this quinoa black bean dish and then have to somehow eat all of it before it goes bad. luckily my neighbor and i have been doing this cute thing for the last ~6 months where we share whatever food we make with each other. this has been working out extremely well for me, because when he cooks i get to eat without having to do anything whatsoever, and when i cook i don't have to worry as much about quantity. i feel like i tricked him into it somehow even though he is getting exactly the same thing out of it as i am.

Currently craving: a baked good i made for the first time recently and then made again two times in rapid succession because i (and my neighbor lol) liked it so much: gingies! okay technically the recipe calls them gingerbread cookie bars, and i just looked up "gingies" (to make sure it's not an offensive term for redheads that i don't know about) and apparently it's frequently used for gingersnaps, but MY use of "gingies" is right and correct and all these other people are idiots. the reason is that they're basically brownies (texture/structure/technique-wise) but with the gingerbread flavor profile instead of chocolate. and "gingeries" sounds stupid, so gingies it is!

tagging @treecakes, @joelletwo, @qserasera, @defeateddetectives, @ctl-yuejie, @deimos-the-wolf, @stupid-lemon-eater, @loreofcardigan, and @dangerliesbeforeyou if you feel like it! no pressure obvi!!

#thank you for giving me a way to procrastinate doing my taxes!!! much obliged!!!#also the reason i just listened to one week by barenaked ladies is because you tagged me in another thing to list a song #for every letter of my username so now i'm just listening to all the songs starting with O in my music library 😂#it's gonna take a while #i started with the Qs cuz there aren't that many of them. but the Cs? the Is? the Ls? bye.#i realize this is not actually necessary in order to do the thing but it turns out to be a great way to listen to stuff #i never listen to. so for now i persevere in my folly #tag games

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cccccasperghost · 11 months

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Does anyone else feel a little icky about oakworthy rn?

Especially after this episode it just doesn't feel right. Like at first it was fucking sweet to see a queer person in the main cast, like "oh an awkward quirky boy crushing on an overly confident drama dweeb, sick."

After the comedy standup episode and learning that no he didn't steal the mascot costume for school spirit and no he doesn't actually like Normal I was like ok cool, not ideal but certainly salvageable. Maybe an friends to enemies to lovers kind of thing, I still have hope for them.

Them after that is was just all downhill. It feels more like Hermie's just using the fact that Normal likes him for his own gain and that just doesn't sit right.

Like yeah Hermie has his own shit with his dad's going on as well as obvious mental health issues to deal with but that shouldn't be an excuse. And it certainly shouldn't be Normal's job to fix that.

And the fact that Normal is now developing actual feelings for Hermie and genuinely trying to help someone who (for lack of a better word because it feels too little to say crush) he loves just breaks me to see him get treated like this.

Hermie knows Normal likes him and he's actively using that to try and get Normal to first kill his dad then get with two of his friends.

Maybe if Hermie sees how much pain he's putting Normal through, or I don't know like Normal being doodlerised or something and he starts either trying or move on maybe then they can build a relationship or friendship.

I just want Normal to be happy, maybe it's just my own baggage filling into this or something but this isn't right. The amount of stress that Normal's under has got to stop.

I mean first your dad goes missing, then you realize your dad has been running some organization to fight monsters, turns out he isn't proud of you, one of you're friends alliance herself with a murderer, they kill your principal Infront of you, your dad fucked with the world up, you have to go into another dimension to save your dad, a weird monster thing from that world is the only person to see how hurt you are right now, you're finally able to go home, now your friends going through some shit that you have to help with. After that you learn that the boy you've been crushing on scammed you for your mascot costume, something you love very dearly, but that's fine you think its awesome that someone has that much school spirit- SIKE. Turns out he didn't do it for any reason you thought, actually he couldn't give less of a shit about you, now he's asking you to kill his dad for a date, then goes directly to you for advise to get with your friends after you learn that your very cruelty free very vegan and consent enforcing parents have been forcing your sister to fight and kill animals because she has to be the chosen one.

Like dude can't catch a break, so much is out of his control and none of the kids or adults seem to be doing anything about it or care. This is probably one of the only things he can control in his life and yet he's still getting hurt by it.

It would make sense if he got doodlerised and honestly that might have to be the thing that get his family and friends to care about it. I'm not saying all the other teens traumas and struggles aren't valid but you can't compare them.

Taylor has always had a good life, he's had a caring, rich, and financially stable mother.

Linc has two wonderful dads who care about his mental health and supports his interest, sure grant hasn't always been truthful about his really dangerous job but even when they were trying to keep the teens in the d.a.d.d.i.e.s building he cared about his sons wellbeing.

Scary is the only one out of them who stands a chance against the emotional pain scale against normal. Shehas a wonderful mother, but she struggles with not having her dad around and doesn't feel like she fits in her own family and now the fact that her step father has been shot in front of her which I'm not saying isn't as bad as what Normal's going through just hold on. All of the teens struggle don't even touch the generational pain that normal is going through with his entire life and the lives of his dad and uncle and his grandfather.

It's clear he's trying so hard to carry everyone else's pain and Hermie is deliberately using his kind and caring nature and it feels so wrong. He's not blind he can see how much normal is holding and using his emotions and Normal's knowledge on how he views him and using it against him.

I want so badly for it to work but I don't know how it can.

Anyways this was more stream of consciousness than I wanted but let me know your ideas on it, maybe I'm thinking about it wrong I don't know.

#i can't bare the pain of being #crying screaming gargling puking shitting streaming pissing fainting awaking crying #i know im thinking #too much about this #but i can't fucking stop #damn you autism and adhd #dungeons and daddies season 2 #dungeons and daddies #dndads season 2 #dndads #oakworthy #normally oak swallows garcia #hermie the unworthy

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peter-rabbit-esque · 9 months

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TW: EDs, BDD, Body Image, Relationships, Sexuality, Attractiveness:

I'm going through a rough but healing time rn of coming to terms with my past ED and realising that it never really left me, and the mind frames and image issues still remain. This may be extremely triggering for someone with an active ED so please do not read it if that is where you're at. Idc if you think to yourself "mine's not that bad" just don't okay.

If you're a curious ally or someone far into recovery (like years post-recovery) then feel free to read. Thank you for respecting this.

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Logically, I know it's really passe to care about this stuff, but I'm a child of the late 90's who grew up around skinny culture and have been on this hellsite back in its toddler-esque age late 2011/Early 2012.

I developed my ED long before I ever set foot on this platform. Was bullied in Primary school for being overweight, having acne the whole nine yards. Was bullied at home by my parents for overeating. They went on to weaponise my fat in their seperation- blaming each other for their child being deformed.

Felt like I had no refuge where being myself was okay admist all of this. I started skipping lunch in grade 6.

By year 8, the bullying in high school got even worse. Girls and boys hitting me with the "You're fat, ugly and really weird" left and right. And then my Dad said the one thing that cemented it for me. At Easter, I was happily tucking into some chocolate eggs, and my Dad out of nowhere goes "Stop eating those! You have a double chin already!" And among others things berating me for my unhealthy diet. But this was the final straw for me. I was at my mother's house and he had come over to visit (shared custody throughout most of my teens after they split up). Dad had come over to spend time with us for Easter. Though it was always tense between parents, they tried to make it work for me. Many arguments ensued. It sucked BALLS growing up like this. Especially with no siblings and hardly any support from friends, extended family or counsellors. I essentially grew up alone. And I've carried that emotional loneliness with me.

Anyway, that night after my Dad left Mum's place, I snuck into the pantry and destroyed every single chocolate Easter egg and bunny, and chucked them all in the bin. My Mum was horrified when she found them. And I told her what Dad said. I'm pretty sure she started crying and sent him an angry text. But in classic Dad fashion, he either defended or denied it, can't remember at the time what his angle was. If you've ever read "the narcissists prayer", that was his MO. "If I did say it, you took it the wrong way, and if I didn't say it, you're imaging things and you're crazy, but if I did say it, it was for you're own good" etc. etc. Anyone who's dealt with gaslighting will know what this feels like. It's exhausting. But anyway. After this incident I was determine to no longer have a double chin, and no longer be seen as fat and ugly by everyone in my life. I bought a set of scales with my pocket money and started getting up everyday before school at 5am to do home workouts. I won't go into detail of what I did because I don't want to promote or inspire someone. But it kept up for over 6 months. And in this time I took the skipping lunch thing to a whole new level. I'm worried about what to say here without being too triggering. I basically just didn't eat anything the whole day at school. And would only drink water. I even got to a point where I was afraid water would stretch my stomach. But I got over that when I became so constipated I couldn't go for 5 days and had to be put on Pyslium husks and gentle laxatives, which my parents were afraid I would abuse. That was the bizarre thing about my ED.

My parents (as well as my peers, but mostly my parents) literally caused it. Especially my Dad. And yet they STILL refused to take responsibility for how their constant criticism and fat shaming led me to that point. And even when I was losing weight, doing the one thing I thought they wanted from me. They still weren't happy. It was such a punch in the gut to realise this: that nothing I ever did would make them stop abusing me.

And it made me so depressed that I used my ED to try and slowly die.

I just can't believe how they couldn't see that they were killing me. I can't believe how the ED team that ended up treating me couldn't see that my parents were killing me. My Dad put so much pressure on me to be thin, pretty, a good Christian, get the best grades possible (all A's and B's) be nice to everyone, never complain, not be sexual and save myself for marriage, not date, not talk to boys, but also not be gay and like girls either....

When we found out I'm into boys and girls he was so deeply hurt and angry that it led to a confrontation where I threatened su*cide and he threw it back in my face and said he wanted to kill himself as well because I'm bisexual

God. I think I will stop there because I'm just so tired. People don't get how EDs come from so much trauma.

People don't get that genuinely abusive and mentally fucked up parents do exist.

I'm sick of people saying to "just get over the past" or "You're parents meant well and you'll understand when you're older" when they have no idea what you've actually dealt with. NO they fucking didn't mean well, and NO I WILL NEVER understand how you treat a child, you're own flesh and blood like an object to be molded into perfection and chastised when they don't live up to your every request.

Narcissistic parents are real. And they cause these EDs and mental illnesses in their children.

My Dad is the reason that when I think about my last two relationships, and see that my exes both ended up with much thinner girls after dating me, that my weight is the reason I'm alone. That I'll never be as good or pretty or as desirable as those thin coquetteish girls. That I'm worthless in comparison to them.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#extremely triggering #and personal #ED #tw #cw #proceed with caution #long text #blog #abusive parents #childhood trauma #life experince

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sk-lumen · 3 years

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Need serious advice about setting boundaries or communicating when dealing with a person who:

Is a parent

Has unhealthy communication methods -- it takes very little for them to start full-blown screaming, shouting out all your 'negative' things/mistakes/past, can continue to scream-criticise you even after you've gone silent, for WHOLE MINUTES even if you've shut up, will not accept anything that even hints at them making a mistake

You can't trust since childhood coz u made the mistake of confiding in them with a serious issue as a young teen --- mental related --- and they belittled and invalidated you, and since then pretended you never confided in them and have NO IDEA how you've been coping without them or ANYone else for years... Yeah thanks, parent, what u said back then made me think I was the one at fault and so I stopped trusting even friends coz yeah, when ur own parent doesn't give a damn, why would anyone else?

Is a master at silent treatments without explaining what EXACTLY they're punishing you for, then when theyre in the mood, will start talking to you as if they hadn't ignored you for days. Lol I'd rather be water boarded I think. Especially for all the damage this caused when I was a child

Won't openly talk about what they want, yet expects ALL FHE TIME others (in the family) to know what they want, then will complain/scream/angry for AGES about how no one cares, no one gives a damn... And when someone asks them what they want, they either say: nothing, or "you should know! Can't u see?"

Upon asking them to please talk normally, will blow a fuse, and lose it --- happened multiple times today

Literally will use me as a scape goat to unleash their frustrations upon. Even when I leave the room, I can hear them b*tch about how much of a failure I am etc. The trigger being anything that bothers them, from a phone call to something other siblings did, bla bla. I limit my time with them... But it's like, it feels impossible to have them treat me normally, without ridiculing or criticising me. I'm already a very low self esteem person... This doesn't help AT ALL

In short, refuse to tell/ask/discuss important stuff, and getting mad randomly that no one read their mind, bcoz everyone's 'old enough to have enough sense' to know what they 'should' do... Eg will not pikc up the phone when we call them from the store to ask when what the needed isn't available, so what other alternative can we get... And then when we get home, will instead blame us for being fussy and not getting the alternative, completelt skirting around the issue they didn't deign to pick up the phone... I mean, I don't get it. In the past I HAVE in fact asked them to just openly tell me what they want/expect from me to make them happy... Got passive aggressive answers like "don't you know? Are you dumb?" Bla bla

Passive aggressive to the max when they've lost it

Expect me to drop anything I'm doing and immediately cater to them, and expect me to help them in their hobbies (while simultaneously, as I learned many years ago to much heartache, not being interested or even pretending to be interested in my hobbies. The disinterest taught me very quickly how much what I wanted meant, leading to years of self-invalidation. Luckily I've learned it really is them, not me. My hobbies are valid)

Will not talk about why they're feeling angry, what causes it. Instead will blame me, who's like the golden scapegoat in our amazing family, by saying :YOU made me negative. They've said it many times now... It hurts a lot, when I'm also struggling with my own issues which I ofc can't confide in them about :)

Today I manned up -- the outburst of hatred happened again! Over a simple thing. It was NIGHTMARE and made me angry/sad/frustrated/triggered---, and so I told them to stop talking like that... Boy was that the wrong thing to say... I don't think I can accurately tell u what happened afterwards...

Usually children learn communication skills from the parents... I at least learned to recognize the unhealthy ones, and what NOT to communicate like lol. Like, other parent is even worse, believe it or not. But that's another complex situation

I'm not bashing on the parent. Lord knows I even have that much of a right huh? I hate myself eveb more when they invalidate me if I try to show how MUCH THEY HURT me after a 'communication session'. As in, heaven forbid me if I BE SILENT afterwards and DON'T wanna listen to their retardation. Nope. Even then they provoke me, rage at me, you know how sometimes enraged people hiss vitriol thru gritted teeth? Yeah, that's what they did today after I stayed silent and tried to ignore them an hour later after the 'session' when they wabted something. It's like they don't even need me to say a word and will carry on and on for minutes 🤢

I feel alone, helpless and at a loss what to do

I want to move out. Due to severe mental issues I can't even move out rn coz it scares me even more. But this has to stop. Things are only okay if I'm absolutely passive, say yes to whatever they want, kill my wants and needs, and become a perfect robot bred to cater to them (parent)

I hope you can help me out, dear

Hi darling,

It sounds like you’re in a considerably toxic environment. I'm sorry you're going through this. Know that this is not normal, nor is it how a parent/child relationship should be. In case there's any doubt, let me start by saying you deserve to be supported, respected, listened to, to have your needs met. You deserve to live in an environment that offers you all of these things.

With that being said, from the many scenarios you’ve mentioned you’ve already tried reasoning and setting boundaries, to no avail. There is only so much you can do on your own, if the other person in the equation is not meeting halfway or at all. After all, a healthy conversation involves two people, not just one.

Here's my advice, in this order:

Calmly and maturely asking the respective parent to have a serious discussion with you and to listen to what you have to say. Share how their actions and behaviour is making you feel, let them know you care, and make sure to mention several solutions for the issue as well. If this doesn’t work…

Bring up the subject of needing help from outside, such as the assistance of a specialist/therapist. Family counselling can shed a lot of light on toxic behaviours that are ingrained from childhood (both in their case and yours), on fears your parent may have, stress from their work, whatever is causing their outbursts and anger - because there is always a reason. Behind anger is sadness, and behind sadness is some need not being met, or an underlying fear, trauma, etc. This is not a justification for their behaviour, they are responsible for it; this is simply the fact of how energy dynamics work. People bottle up their frustrations, fears, etc, and let them out on those closest to them, to whom they feel superior. It’s not fair, and it’s not healthy, but it is frequently how this pattern works. If this solution doesn’t work either…

Then unfortunately, all you can do is focus on yourself. If they refuse to meet you anywhere along the road, you have to pack up your things and go your own way. Literally or metaphorically. They may be your parent and you may love them even in spite of their behaviour, but you cannot hold yourself responsible for anything they say or do; that is on them. In those cases, you have to prioritize your own mental health and wellbeing, and focus on moving out. If your (home) environment is toxic, you have to focus on first changing it. That’s vital. Only afterwards can you start healing, refinding yourself, reclaiming your self-esteem and confidence, your sense of worth. As long as you stay stuck in a toxic environment, you cannot really heal; if there is abuse of any kind (physical, mental, emotional), the causes are still there, leading to re-traumatizing.

If for whatever reason moving out is not (yet) an option, I would emphasize seeking some sort of counselling for yourself, if nothing else. You need an anchor, some sort of support that will help you along your path until you do get out.

Now, I don’t know how old you are. I am going to assume you are over 18 and of age, so only mind my advice if that is the case. (As disclaimer, I don't provide advice to minors as it's not the scope of my blog nor am I specialized/focused on that area.)

I understand moving out seems scary because it is unknown, but with that line of thought you may wait another 10 years in the same situation. Wouldn’t you wake up 10 years later already having done the hard work on moving out, finding your independence, claiming your sense of individuality and moving on from this sort of environment, this phase in your life?

Sooner is better than later, but do so with mindfulness and care over your mental health, of course. I know it’s scary. But being an adult requires some difficult decisions at times, and setting boundaries begins with choosing your wellbeing and doing what needs to be done, even if it is something uncomfortable short-term, but highly rewarding and beneficial long-term.

Hope this helps... and wishing you much luck, clarity, gentle guidance and comfort.✨

PS: Lately I've been receiving longer and longer letters in my inbox. As solution, I was thinking of having longer asks/letters redirected to my blog where there isn't any length limit, and readers can more comfortably browse both my tumblr and blog - and those requesting advice can share and receive a more in-depth response.

-Lumen

#mental health #toxic relationship #toxic environment #boundaries #parenthood #ask #tw? not sure what to tag just in case #tw: swearing #tw: mental health #tw: anxiety

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mooleche · 5 years

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Hiii I'm recovering from 3 days of antidepressant withdrawals, so can I have that whole "not nice OC asks" list for Nina? Yeah, the whole damn thing.

Dad holy fuck, sending you them BIG HUGS rn. I hope you feel better soon!

WHOLE DAMN THING HERE WE GO

1. What is one word to shut them up?

‘Enough'It's a very basic word but Nina knows that when it's used it's time to stop whatever she's doing that's causing someone to have to say it, mostly because her parents only ever used it on her when she was getting too rough with her sparring partners or when she was pushing herself too hard. It’s kind of a ‘snap back to reality’ trigger for her.

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

Giving up on her dream of becoming a real hero. Since she was born a mutant and grew up seeing Captain America and various other heroes fighting crime she wanted to use her powers for good to fight crime like them, so that's what she worked towards for like, a HUGE chunk of her life. So to have her health suddenly take a dive and then eventually get too hurt to keep up with her old antics crushed her spirit for a long time.

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

OH BOY. This would probably be when she was experimented on by Essex Corp. in her mid-teens. She was often punished for protecting the other children that were being experimented on and took on the brunt of what they dished out there, eventually leading to them going as far as removing her secondary mutation as a way to discipline her into submission. She was eventually rescued of course, and was able to repress these memories, but the amount of stress that was put on her body made it so that she could never fully fight crime again.

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

Having a child/seeing a child die. She's not SUPER into kids because of her lifestyle and taking care of Venom is already like caring for one, but she's got a mighty soft spot for them. This unfortunately changes after having a dream simulation of her future family used against her in a mission gone wrong, so she's terrified of putting a child in that type of scenario in the real world, instead putting her care into the children of the X-Mansion.

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

Surface level - Dying. That's pretty much everyone's fear but Nina's faced it a few times too many not to worry that it could be around the corner at any second so she (stubbornly) lives her life to the fullest with Venom while she's able to repress it.Repressed - Needles. She doesn't remember why or how this fear came about (due to her memories of her terrible experience at Essex being shut away) but the sight of them makes her sick to her stomach.Deep dark - Losing control. Due to her symbiotic relationship with Venom and seeing how unhinged he can be in the wrong hands it's a deep dark fear of Ninas that one day she'll lose control of herself and Venom will completely take over. Despite all the reassurance that he gives that he won't do that she still is unable to shake the feeling that it will some day happen

.6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

Large amounts of gore. She can stomach it more after being around Wade long enough, but the sight of too much blood/mutilation often leaves her sick to her stomach.

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

Her body, but only because it can't handle much before it shuts down under stressful conditions. Also one large scar on her right side she has as a reminder of her last solo vigilante mission that ended poorly; a reminder that she had to give up what she loved most.

8. Do they have anything that triggers them?

The mention of Essex Corp always seems to trigger a deep-rooted feeling of fear in her that she can never piece together why until later in her life.

9. What is their greatest physical weakness?

Her body dsgkslgs. Due to all the experiments and stress put on her body she can't do much without overexerting herself. Bloody noses are always her red flag that she's overdoing it and needs to tap out.

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

She's stubborn as hell and tends to keep things to herself for the sake of not stressing others out, which in turn ends up stressing everyone out even more.

11. Do they have any vices?

Despite getting nauseous around gore she's got a pretty big bloodlust. She loves fighting and will sometimes stray off the heroic path because of it.

12. Have they ever done something illegal? What was it?

She's killed a man before, which kind of births her bloodlust mentioned earlier and realizing that some people can only stop doing wrong if they're buried 6 feet underground.

She’s also erased a lot of students debts using her ink powers. Not all heroes wear capes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

Definitely Wrath. You wouldn't suspect with how she acts normally (clumsy, easy-going, ect.) but she's very into the idea of torturing someone if it means getting the answers she wants or getting revenge by any means necessary.

Also probably Sloth, just because for her early 20's she spends a lot of her life in a bit of a depressed funk after everything that happens to her, but also a bitch loves naps.

14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

Sometimes. Usually only if she or the people around her are being threatened will she get violent or start making threats. Or if she sees Scott Summers.

15. Who do they hate the most?

Scott Summers ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿Just kidding (kind of). She loathes villains that think they can get away with their crimes, or who are uncaring of the destruction they cause the rest of the world for their gain. Harassers and abusers are a close second but the ultimate bane of her existence is the scientist that tortured her when she was younger.

16. Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

Colossus. Which isn't intentional on his part, and she knows this, but he is such a momma hen to her most of the time that she feels like he doesn't think she's strong enough to hold her own on missions.

17. What sound always gives them a headache?

Anything that's TOO loud or high a frequency. Due to Venoms weakness to higher pitches of sound she has to be careful with some of the things she listens to or where she goes.

18. Is there a certain flavor that disgusts them?

Anything TOO sweet, which is a toss-up for her as Venom LOVES chocolate gsdkgds

19. Do they consider themselves ugly?

Not ugly, but she definitely feels she's serving a 'gross college student with no control of their life' look.

20. Do they consider themselves unloveable?Not really. She's fully aware she's lovable, but there are moments she's had where she's felt she couldn't be loved because she's a mutant.But then her parents burst through her door and give her a good fucking pep talk.

21. What is something that causes them great anxiety?

Losing control of herself or messing up a mission she's on.

22. Do they have any mental illnesses?

She suffers from PTSD, Depression and Anxiety.

23. Have they ever been assaulted/abused/raped?

She was abused severely back at Essex Corp, which she has managed to block out completely, and has gotten her fair share of fights in while acting as a vigilante.

24. Do they fear the possibility of being assaulted/abused/raped?

Somewhat. She knows it's all definitely a possibility, especially in her line of work, but having Venom with her makes her feel better about wandering the streets at night most of the time.

25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust?

Yes. But it was under the guise that they thought what they were doing would help her in the long run when it ended up just slapping a band-aid on a dam.

26. Have they ever been seriously injured?

Boy has she! ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

27. How many times have they been in the hospital?

A handful of times in her teens, and then in her early 20s due to a lethal attack that almost left her for dead. After that she gains Venom and usually goes to Hank McCoy when needing medical services (no matter how many times he tells her he's not her personal hospital)

28. Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them?Racists, Anti-Mutant supporters, Rapists, take your pick. If they're doing bad things she most definitely does not like them.

29. Does what they cannot see scare them?A bit, yeah. She often will stay awake at night talking about it with Venom because he's technically old as shit, to which she'll sometimes wake Colossus up so he can give his 2 cents which is usually 'Go back to BED'.

30. Have they ever been bullied?When they were younger, yes. Being a mutant often makes you the Caesar of jokes, which she hated and resorted to eventually wearing half gloves as a result to cover her markings.

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues?After losing her strength to fight she is often plagued with self-confidence issues, not feeling like anything is up to par with what she would like. Having a group of supportive friends and loved ones around her pulls her out of this hole eventually though.

32. Do they have a bad relationship with their parents?God no. Her parents are her heroes and while they aren't mutants themselves, have been with her 100% of the way to make sure she could live life as comfortably as possible.

33. Have they ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out so well?The majority of her relationships all ended on decent terms. She keeps in touch with them to keep the friendships going because they're all still cool folks.

34. Have they ever self harmed?No, she was always too nervous to go through with it.

35. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?That her body return to normal. Or that she could gain her old mutation back.

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?Because she's the current host of Venom she's kind of forced to keep her emotions in check. That of course doesn't mean that she doesn't have a hiccup in the road every now and then but she does her best to keep them both centered.

37. Have they ever had their freedom taken away?Yes. A few times to her displeasure, but she's always managed to get it back and get her revenge for it.

38. Have they ever been imprisoned?slgjksgdl yes, she's even gone as far as getting herself tossed into the Ice Box intentionally for missions

39. Have they ever been accused of something they didn’t do?Later in her life, yes. She gets set up at least once in order to do someone else's dirty work, which she does not take to kindly.

40. Do they often blame themselves for other people’s problems?Sometimes, yes. But only if she wasn't able to help in the matter as expected.

41. Do they get sick often?Nah, despite being a walking enigma of health she surprisingly doesn't get sick.

42. Are they comfortable with where they are in life?She likes to think she is. At the start of her new chapter in life she's kind of drifting around in college and just trying to live as normal a life as she can despite wanting to do more but not wanting to overwhelm her body in the process.

43. Do they wish that they could change their pasts?Yes. There's large chunks of her past that she has no recollection of and wishes (though fears) that she could change or at least SEE them.

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?Protect her loved ones and/or spend more time with Colossus, since they're schedules are always so borked.

45. What is the emotion they most commonly experience?Exhaustion or Confusion sgkgls

46. Have they ever contemplated suicide?Unfortunately, yes. During her teen years after her experience she fought heavily with it due to not knowing what happened to herself in the gap of memory missing, just the emptiness that stayed with her.

47. Have they ever gone so far as to attempt suicide?No, while she considered it many a time she decided against it because her desire to figure out what happened overpowered the desire to die.

48. Is there anyone that they would willingly kill?Oh honey. Pick a name out of the hat, she's good to go LOL

49. If [name] was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through.This is WAY far off but in her story, but probably the reawakening of Knull. Since he's the god of symbiotes it would ultimately destroy her because it would mean Venom would be reverted to his original feral self and Knull would probably force her to watch as he takes over Earth, a situation she would attempt to thwart but would be more than welcome to die than see him reach his goal.

50. Create your own!Time to reveal a sad plot in Nina's story (since I don't know when I'll get to this hhh) -Nina and Colossus actually met each other when she was younger when the x-men came to her rescue at the Essex corp, but because of Charles Xavier doing his special MIND TRICKS she holds no recollection of ever meeting him or any of the conversations they held when she was recovering from the incident at the mansion. So they have this strange familiar feeling when they first meet but think it's just a possible attraction to one another and can't place why :')

#long post #oc shit #Nina Knight #master-sass-blast

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