#I'd really fucking appreciate it

[chipped-chimera]

I am not doing well. I am fucked up. It's really hard to hold onto any shred of optimism for me at the moment so ... Idk if people have cute things to show me or nice things to say that'd be really, really appreciated.

#kerytalk #spam my inbox #reblog or whatever #I'm really hoping to see the point in sticking around #i need to be reminded of the good and love out there because I am not feeling it anymore #I'll keep myself safe i promise i just cant admit myself to a psych ward either anymore becauss i found out we only have #mixed sex mental health wards in this ass backwards country which have a stupidly high rate of assault #i was in one two years ago but managed to get myself stable in two days and I hate realising i was lucky #like I felt uncomfortable as someone autistic in the ward already #but finding that out has terrified me and I dont know whether i could be safe in one anymore #please send me pet pics or cute stories #or just things you'd think I'd like #I'd really fucking appreciate it #depression tw #i guess #sorry

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

#ask me #anon #once AGAIN. #I am not dropping anything #the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again #But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year #In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related #I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped #And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it #I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas. #Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop #Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas #But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now #But I didn't because I'm TIRED #I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired #what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen #drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter #it can really make you freak out #And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will #I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my #followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm #disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing #you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere #I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.

[fengchikelp]

ummm doodle dump wahoo

i saw some people draw him w/ hair clips so ofc i had to (sorry for making him really babygirl i will do it again!!!)

#arjuna #arjuna fgo #fate grand order #fgoposting #my art #the skrunkly doo 😋the skrimbly 😍 #fgo #ahh umm. i was going to put the second drawing in the center of the first one but it FUCKED Up my composition so i couldn't!!! agrh #also if anyone knows how to make the second image smaller i'd really appreciate it lol #anyways arjunaposting real

[unproduciblesmackdown]

reread the rest thus far of lackadaisy and there's the both v easy & difficult task of gathering a shit ton but only a shit ton of excerpts (like every single page is a highlight i'm not exaggerating)

and every single element is superlative and the way it all only becomes More So....already mentioned the way the like smooth gradient shading made the successful evocation of 3D Shapes more noticeable, along w/the consistent geometries of character design & details in fabric folds; the way Lighting & Coloring only goes on to become more prominent elements only enhances that further. the compositions, backgrounds, pacing, angles....everything is so dynamic & expressive, such as including the expressions which you know i also Love / absorbed

going "hell yes for people to discover this superlative comic" then having to occasionally refresh past site traffic overloaded server errors like "nooo" but actually yes

whilest clapping & cheering for the fun of everyone who's been here a minute. My God the invigorating reward when again i started reading in '07 & the concept of rocky & freckle on a "proper" run had only manifested via fun official bonus art, then a literal decade later as it was actually happening in the comic like screeeeaammm i can feel it coming in the air tonight oh lord etc....i've loved following it, again, if i see another new comic page. i am going to be Enriched

i also really was right on the ball myself this time around like okay okay yep i have picked up on Everything, at least to the degree i can lmao. i love the mysteries. i love how Character Focused it is too ofc and there's no characters i'm uniterested in / dislike. you gotta point to one of them, truly, and i have been a [pointing at freckle] enjoyer these fifteen years but fr i am a connoisseur of everyone, i love that so many characters are a weird mysterious chaos element story driver in their own right. i considered mordecai more intently than ever, love his like ultra mystery (and that we leave off on him doing some detectiving even) and truly fun that like, the source of the more Immediate problems he keeps having in every damn interaction isn't the like [wow mordecai with the just diving into the hatchet murdering] factor so much as it's that he's generally like "i am just standing here" and is not nt in any way that matters and people insist on fucking with him on that front. the peak tragedy of him in a bonus comic getting bullied into having to dance with someone to Be Polite like i'm so sorry i wish you could be that ficus too. anyways intrigued with the marigold &/or mordecai mysteries including that it's like, how coincidental is it that he talks about marigold having a thorn in its side & the savoys' nickname for him is peekon = thorn. there is so much to consider, love that for us truly. and i'm rooting for mordecai & nicodeme's dynamic out here, is another conclusion....very enriched by comparing & contrasting that serafine nicodeme mordecai triumvirate with the rocky ivy freckle one, to be sure. im enriched

i'm also enriched by every footnote that's got like historical facts / research notes / [this is inaccurate for xyz prioritization but here's the disclaimer] explanations. i Love information. and everything else like i loooove this comic it's Soooo Fucking putting my hands to my temples and inhaling at length through my teeth

#first time i've really taken tumblr up on that new thirty image limit expansion; bit of a surprise maybe lol #put your back into autism acceptance month &/or press j; scroll fast; read through it actually; filter the following: #long post // #learning abt the overwhelming popularity of baby ruth candy bars from lackadaisy footnotes? relevant to gtm:pota aficionadoship at one pt #remember discussing what i learned from another footnote abt some christian denominations / other religions being very Anti Prohibition #every time i use the word cagey i think of lackadaisy. cagey thing... we've all been there #fantastic time revisiting and i love to be considering all these characters all the further / with reckless juxtaposition #especially the two triumvirates as mentioned. rooting for them all #rooting for mordecai to be relieved of that v realistic [ppl sensing a Mess With His he is not nt in any way that mattersness Free For All] #either let him be or start shooting at him lmfao. but i Love that the gang had that pleasant nonbrunch together & no shots exchanged yet #more brunches! and i think nicodeme could be mordecai's bestie or w/e he wants. turn out to be Supportive in any way that matters #they are more so the ivy and freckle of their group after all lol. slightly would-be Unlikely coupling there as well anyways; and yet! #i am as enriched and intrigued and appreciative and etc as ever #and reminded that in my rereading i haven't yet gone over all the bonus material lol.... #also stumbled across that sungwon cho had fandubs of lackadaisy comics posted like 9 yrs back?? #which means i probably saw one or two; think i remember one being shared and checking that out #like hey didn't know i'd encountered you before like; vines & oh the lamps are fucking & etc. and now there he goes voicing mordecai yaay #lackadaisy

[sprout-fics]

Em, you are so right about everything you said about the CoD fandom. Sometimes writing characters OOC can be fun, but usually you have to REALLY understand the characters before you can successfully do that. Instead there’s been a lot of stuff written where people are just completely oblivious to how the characters are truly portrayed, and it’s concerning to the point where I wonder if people are truly that media illiterate or if they just willfully ignore canon. I subscribe to the idea that people can interpret characters in different ways bc of life experiences and what not, but some of the portrayals of the CoD men are so wildly all over the place.

And don’t get me wrong—I enjoy the smut! There are some really good, really smutty fics out there. But some of it definitely gets really carried away lately, and it’s a lot.

Anyways, if you want to respond to this publicly, feel free, or respond privately, or not at all! But thank you for sharing your opinion.

Yes, completely agree!! There's a significant difference in between having varying interpretations and then blatantly ignoring canon portrayal's of characters. It all originates from the complete lack of willingness to engage in the actual media you're writing for.

It's one thing to go 'Hey I think this character might do x for x reason related to their background' and someone else going 'Oh! I can see that, but I think this other part of their background might mean they wouldn't'.

It's an entirely different thing to completely ignore a character's background, story, and development (Usually by not reading/watching/researching the media they're in) and coming up with some WILD ideas that make absolutely no sense for how they are canonically portrayed.

For example: Ghost has lore that shows he was viciously tortured and traumatized. The comics have him being sexually assaulted, his entire family killed, his body mutilated, and being buried alive. Yet 90% of the fics I see about him (barring some very well written ones) don't even bother to mention this. It's a defining part of his characterization and yet people will blatantly ignore it to the point where some will write Ghost not having any of this trauma, and instead being a sexual abuser with no regard for his partners. I can't stomach it, nor can I stand it.

I try to keep my He Would Not Do That comments in private, but when there's so many folks on here re-writing characters to a degree where if you remove the name you won't be able to recognize them- it's not actually writing for a fandom. It's writing (Often very sexual) fantasies and slapping the name of a popular character on it with no regard to how they are canonically written. If you are going to ignore a character's canon to that extent, at least bother to admit you haven't watched/played the games, and put an OOC tag on it.

#simon ghost riley #ranting #I'm just really frustrated!! #I appreciate your ask so much though darling #I turned off anon preemptively because I just know if I left it on I'd get some real nasties in my inbox on this #I really appreciate folks coming out and being supportive when I point this stuff out #Going to tag this as #He Would Not Fucking Do That: CoD Edition

[holyshit]

.

#just found out something (potentially) horrible health-wise in regards to my mom #i'm so fucking scared... it's cheesy but my mom is one of my best friends and i don't know what i'd do without her #so if anyone who sees this can just put some good energy out there for her that this will be nothing serious #i would really appreciate it

[steakout-05]

i was thinking about how it took me a while to figure out i'm aegosexual (which basically means that there's a disconnect between yourself and being the subject of attraction) and i thought about how much i really dislike and just cannot see myself in slash reader fics. i tend to dislike these fics for multiple reasons, but some of them include that the reader self insert is usually really boring, has no personality outside of being lovey dovey and isn't unhinged enough for certain characters for reasons outside of contrasting personalities for my tastes (like spamton for example, why are you writing a normal protagonist to pair with fuckin spamton of all characters). but another reason is that i literally cannot connect myself to the reader self insert. like i cannot imagine myself in their place at all, it's always another stand-in that i imagine instead and thinking about myself in their place makes me uncomfortable. i can't see myself in their place because i don't see myself as a subject of attraction, and i'm repulsed to that idea. so i imagine someone else instead because that's better to me. and also because of the aforementioned reasons that have more to do with the writing of the self insert, i just cannot imagine myself acting the way the self insert does because I Personally Would Not Fucking Do That™. like i would not be romantically kissing a guy on a date, i would be infodumping about my special interests for 3 hours and then start ranting about how funny cars are while he just smiles and nods lmao

this is why i've never really self-shipped with any character. like i can be attracted to them and be like "i wanna hold his hand/kiss him/do inexplicable things to his psyche", but in reality i could never actually see myself as a subject of attraction by this character, so i'd either ship them with another character i like or imagine a sort of stand-in that has some of my traits and lives out my fantasies but still isn't me. i can fall in love but i can never connect because ew that's gross and weird. watching from the sidelines by reading fics and looking at fanart about characters being shipped with others and being intimate with each other is more my cup of tea.

#aegosexual #also i'm not like. sad about this or anything #maybe i'm a little disappointed that i probably won't experience some things but i'm not like. crying about it. #i literally don't care about it and i think i actually prefer it this way #being seen as something arousing is fucking disgusting and weird in a bad way to me and i don't think i should ignore how i feel just to- #-experience something i won't enjoy. #i just want to watch my little fictional men hold each other and kick my legs like an excited schoolboy about it in peace #also unpopular opinion but slash reader fics SUUUUUUCK and i'd rather read something else instead #now let's sit back and watch literally everyone get mad at that opinion lmao #i'm kidding i'm kidding you're obviously free to enjoy slash reader fics #i just find them to be completely unrelatable and i feel like throwing a self insert into the mix kinda ruins the whole dynamic for me #like i just personally find the idea of meddling in that character's life and being their hubby to be very unattractive #especially when the self insert is so barebones that there's no chemistry #we need more slash reader fics that are just an expression of how much the reader admires the character and nothing more i think #idk maybe i just haven't read enough slash reader fics to appreciate them as their own thing disconnected from me but i really just kinda- #-don't like them because the ones i've read were mostly kinda boring..... sorrgy #i always preferred projection anyway #although i do like dating sims. of course i don't attach myself to the MC but i do like them more than reader fics. i wonder why that is. #probably because the MC tends to have more character traits i guess? so then i can just consider them to be a different person- #-and i'm just pressing buttons for them #it's more free and directional i guess

[brutal-nemesis]

Yeehaw we gettin tagged by @whump-me​ (tyyyy) and posting 7 snippets from our writing (or wips but i am a wipless bastard atm 🤪) and i have decided to do some Silly Castys Moments (and also some Erebus stuff ig 🙄)

Warning for some gore probably it’s Nemi writing so yk but I’ll try to keep the really bad stuff outta here (there also some armputation and guy going crazy and starving to death over and over you know the drill)

1. Local silly guy does in fact regret it very much

“I don’t really want you, per se, but a certain…friend of yours.” Castys stiffened, and he heard a faint laugh. “I think you know who I’m talking about.”

“I really don’t. I’ve got a lot of friends, you know, and-” something slammed into the metal above him, cutting him off.

“Don’t play dumb with me; you know exactly who I’m talking about, and you’d better tell me where I can find him or I’ll make you regret it.”

“Please, do your worst. I already regret so many damn things so I don’t think another one on the pile will do much to me, to be honest,” Castys mused, wiggling against his bonds slightly.

2. The worst fmk in existence gets you stabbed

“Hey, guys, fuck, marry, kill for rice, pasta, and bread, go. I think for me, I gotta say fuck bread, marry rice, kill pasta. Don’t get me wrong, I love some noodles, some noods, but, like, man. Have you ever just, like, had some bread? Insane. I would fuck bread. I don’t wanna fuck anything, but boy I would fuck the bread. And rice, man, she’s so dependable, she’s always there for you. What I would want in a spouse if I wanted anything in a spouse. This game wasn’t really designed for me, and yet, here I am. So, c’mon, what’s it from you two? You’ve gotta have-Hey, Danny boy, got an opinion you’d like to share?” Castys smiled up at the man now standing in front of him.

Daniel rolled his eyes before putting his asshole face back on. “Just do something useful for once and hold this for me, vermin,” he said with a smile, lifting Castys’s shirt and gently sliding the knife he was holding into his abdomen. Castys just sighed, way too used to being stabbed to really care much about this.

3. Ripping your arm off but it’s a Phineas and Ferb reference (this one is probably the most gory of all the snippets fyi but it’s not too bad)

Sensing his chance, Castys grabbed the manacled wrist of his shredded arm with his good hand, bit down on the gag, and pulled. He couldn’t give up, couldn’t stop, not after enduring this much, he could feel his flesh tearing, sending out sparks of agony unlike anything he’d ever known, and he had to keep pulling, pulling and jerking and tearing and twisting and praying, praying that he could rip it off before he drowned again, which, hey, kind of a weird thing to want, not that he hadn’t had to amputate his own limbs before, but weird that it was happening again, and honestly, this hurt way more than the other times, but wasn’t that always the case-and fuck there was no way he was going to be able to just snap his bones like this, and he needed it to be completely severed, and there was no time, wedge it against the rocks and pull pull pull until there was a snap and a burst of unholy agony, so intense it almost smothered the relief, so fierce it made him forget he was drowning up until the moment his oxygen-starved brain lost consciousness.

4. Lmaoooo bitches trapped in a cell for like 200 years

Every three days. Thirst. Weakness. Dizziness. Death. Was it three days? Is that how long you could last without water? He tried to count, but the numbers got lost in the haze all too easily. There was no way to mark the stone, to keep track outside of his head, the blood wasn’t being washed off him anymore. He had nothing, nothing at all, just here and himself and the unyielding stone. The square of sunlight would move across the cell, the only motion to break the constancy of everything else. It was the same day repeated over and over and over and over and over and it was the same just the same nothing ever changed, ever, ever, it was the same-

Something wasn’t the same. The leather muzzle that had kept him silent for so long had been slowly rotting, and it finally fell off. For a moment he simply stared at it lying there on the ground, broken, dying, fading away. He opened his mouth for the first time in decades. And he screamed, because that thing got to rot away and disappear and he wouldn’t, he would always be here, hungry and thirsty and alone and trapped and alive and it wasn’t fair, not at all, and he screamed because it had been so long since he was able, he cried because it was all he could do.

5. Erebus’s iconic sit down protest ✨ (it does not accomplish anything in the end)

“You are coming with me. As of today you are my property, so you will do as I say. Resistance will only make things more difficult for you. So you will walk, or you will be dragged. Your choice.” Erebus initially felt a bolt of fear shoot through him, but looking down at her scrawny frame, he realized that she likely couldn’t carry out her threat.

Dragged? He’d like to see her try.

Erebus sat down on the ground and looked expectantly up at Neteri, one eyebrow raised. She huffed and narrowed her eyes. Planting her feet firmly on the ground, she tugged on the chain as hard as she could, but it did little more than make him lean forward. She sighed. “Okay, you have a point there.”

6. More Erebus and Neteri shenanigans because she’s right he’s being a drama queen

“You can’t just do that! That’s-you can’t just amputate my arm!”

“See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you’d freak out.”

“Of-of course I’m freaking out! You want to cut off one of my limbs, for Drottkia’s sake!”

“I mean, yeah, but I’m going to give you a new one right away. So at the end of the day you’ll have the same number of arms you started with. It’s honestly not worth getting that worked up about.”

7. New phobia alert!! (warning for centipede on guy)

He felt it, it was on him, dozens of little legs pitter-pattering across his skin, crawling on him. “G-get it off. Neteri, please, please get it off.” It tickled the back of his neck, around the base of the section of skin she’d replaced. “What’s it doing Neteri plea-” she clamped a hand over his mouth, her thumb rubbing against his cheek as he whimpered.

“Shh, shh, you’re okay Erebus. I’m just seeing if it can connect to you, I promise I’ll take it off when I’m done.” Connect to him?! What-what did that mean-oh it had stopped crawling around it was just sitting there it was on his back what was it going to do to him what did connecting mean was it-Erebus felt a momentary pinch at the base of his neck, and suddenly his limbs starting moving, wriggling in the restraints all on their own. Neteri removed her hand from his mouth and looked down at him expectantly, her other hand still gripping his tightly even as his fingers twitched uncontrollably. “Are you doing that?”

“N-no I-I’m not moving I’m not doing that why are they doing that I can’t stop it is it doing that to me make it stop make it let go please-” Tears were streaming from Erebus’s eyes but he didn’t care he just wanted that thing off he wanted it gone he wanted control of his own body back he’d always had that even when he was tied up and strapped down he’d always had that-

And there we go hope that either a fun time on memory lane or at least made you laugh a little

Taggin uhhhh @galaxywhump @yet-another-heathen and @painsandconfusion (mainly because i know you will want to read the Castys content 💕)

#most people be sharing like real nice whump #and here i am with mostly sillies #some whump in there but yk #alright lets see what are my vibes for each thing #first one we got castys being a little silly and sassy i like how that slowly leaves him as the torture goes on in this one :) #writing that FMK was PAINFUL y'all i swear we all appreciate daniel stabbing castys's dumb ass #3rd one i just love that whole thing i'd been wanting to write the mega drowning piece for a while and it just came out real fun (❁´◡`❁) #last castys one at 4 he goes fucking NUTS lmao that whole thing is special to me im really proud of it #there are some descriptions im really proud of but the actual actions that are being implied are. uh. they're bad. so i left them out of thi #one letter too long huh. put an s at the end of that tag ty <333 #okay onto E&T shit look at erebus go sitting down like that's going to do anything. like yes you're a foot taller than her #but also. she is not the only one keeping you captive. idiot boy get fucked #armputation is fun and silly for all ages and he gets a new arm so whatever baby nothing lost!!!! #and lastly the envy demon shenanigans ✨ i just like how much he freaks out it's so festive #gold star if you read all of that and also my tags probably go eat bread or something dawg

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

In my Greg House era 💅 (in unbelievable amounts of pain and eating painkillers like candy just to get through work)

#its been just a hellish fucking six weeks #nausea for a week and then headaches and then partial blindness and more headaches #and now headaches (level two)(level two comes with a suspected ear infection)(ow) #if anyone would like to come put me down like a lame animal I'd really appreciate the assist #walking around with my cane and devastating pain level: wow just like House MD

[barbieaiden]

scratch my beloved

#i'm not really a dog person because i am terrified of dogs but #i do appreciate video game dogs #also will be friends with irl dogs but from afar #i'd apparently taken one of those potions that makes you able to talk to animals at some point #and i didn't realise and scratch just started talking and i was like #what the fuck is the game not going to acknowledge that this dog started talking NOW #very confusing but i figured it out eventually lmao #i do prefer my dogs not talking human tbh

[indelicateink]

i am just so earnestly curious. i read the books a long time ago, i am struggling to put myself in the shoes of someone who doesn't know what's coming. the latest promo that has the sinister projection of L: does this come across as menacing to people who are book-innocent? do those audience members have anxiety about him showing up in paris?

i know he was fucking excoriated by a lot of viewers for season 1 and ep 5 especially (no matter one's experience with the canon), and a lot of people now despise the character.

but does like. anyone actually have concern abt the guy showing up and making trouble? it seems to be the reaction they want people to have, I'm curious if it's working?

#yes i'd love your thoughts (but ofc i am trying so hard to keep this out of the tags aha) #I feel like they gotta run this thing on like two different tracks: #appeasing the longtime fans who know what's coming but intriguing those new to the story #and this latest promo along with the chair photo from earlier seem to be directing ppl to be Concerned #as someone who can't unknow what's coming i'm curious how their choice to double down on making L unlikable is coming off #bc lbr he's at the center of this property and at this point they've cultivated a significant portion of audience who #wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire #and i hope they have some god-tier writing in store to hang a sharp u-turn on this massive semi-truck of hate? #i appreciate they have to meld a property she nearly retconned from book 1 to the rest of it and #the writers made a daring choice to demonize ldl and query ldpdls memory #i'm assuming for maximum angst and to make it all creatively come together #but framing him as the biggest Big Bad for s2 is a lil odd to me when you have the obviously sinister TdV crew *right there* #does he really come off as scary to people? #between the threat of ldl and the TdV are newcomers meant to see A as ldpdls soft(TM) savior love interest? #lol it's so frustrating not being able to see this innocent of the knowledge of events...to get how it's coming off to other viewers #i can't unknow the fucked-up flip side to this story #but i am v curious!

[cctinsleybaxter]

There are some good reblogs attached to this post, but the way it's worded is absolutely infuriating to me. Make your point without waxing poetic about narrative; the subject at hand defies all narrative

#hmm yep let this languish for a bit and i'm still mad (all the more so because i agree with the points about nationalism!) #to be clear i will never criticize a personal unpolished reaction to genocide- not my business #but this was a removed 'scholarly' post that i think speaks to a wider problem with how people esp in the US approach politics #'appreciating small cosmic ironies' i'd appreciate you shutting the fuck up #I've made a short post in the past about this website's obsession with karma/coincidence/narrative/fate #but it really makes it unusable for me sometimes. sorry for ranting #(link is an article not the rb chain itself)

[avatarofwar]

i saw you talk about wolf a few times from sekiro and was wondering if you'd want to share more of your thoughts on him or sekiro as a whole, the game really interests me compared to other dark souls games so i wanted to ask

sorry for the late reply but oh boy do I have thoughts abt wolf. trying not to spoil the game, so I'm gonna refrain from talking about the story. might go into just restating known things about the game, but I'd much rather play it safe and not spoil the story

before going to that. the game is very much different from dark souls (setting wise, while taking place in a fictional country it is in a historical setting. I cannot comment on the setting properly bc I don't know much about the time period, however), most notably in the combat (primarily shifting from a dodge-centric playstyle to a parry-centric playstyle (significantly easier than dark souls/elden ring parrying, however), with dodges having significantly shorter i-frames and being very unreliable for dodging attacks). it's very different but something I really enjoy, even if I'm not as good as I am at typical soulsborne combat. it's really fun when you get the hang of it, and while I might not be The Best at it (which is mostly bc of how different it is from soulsborne games, so ofc I'm not as good at is as I am at the other fromsoft games I've played), it's something I can still enjoy

a huge thing about sekiro is the difference in how the story is told. in soulsborne games the story is something you have to figure out; progressing through the main path doesn't give you enough to piece everything together if you don't read any lore. with sekiro, however, the story is significantly more obvious, on account of the playable character having unique ties to the world and its characters, rather than going the soulsborne route of being one of many people (wording hard, but the chosen undead for example is no one special, just one of many undead trying to link the flame). it's a very different method of storytelling, but is still something really good. for as much as I adore having to actively hunt down lore and story in soulsborne games, it's also great experiencing story through natural game progression

wolf is also canonically disabled (loses his left arm at the start of the game) and has a really fucking cool prosthetic that is a whole part of the combat system (even though I personally keep forgetting to use it). so good for him. he deserves a prosthetic that can have deadly weaponry attached to it. like a mini-flamethrower. he deserves a mini-flamethrower, as a treat.

putting the wolf thoughts beneath a read more because this is getting long and I might spoil some stuff (mostly relationship with another character, I'll try to refrain from story spoilers. also spoilers in general, but there might be some), and he has definitely become a blorbo (additionally, content warning for abuse)

first of all. wolf makes me want to throw myself off a cliff and I mean this in the most positive way ever. he is great and I love him but man he needs so much fucking therapy and he doesn't even realise it (therapy probably doesn't exist in that time period, but besides the point). he is very much traumatised and has been heavily shaped by it and doesn't even know it.

prior to the events of the game (I forgot how long ago it was) he was orphaned by war and got taken in by owl, a shinobi and also a piece of fucking garbage. owl raises wolf to be a shinobi under the iron code, with the number one rule being loyalty to his father (owl), with his master (kuro, the divine heir) a close second (and also to give his life for his master if necessary. which is also a whole other thing to get into).

owl is very explicitly abusive. he raises wolf as a tool rather than a person, and that upbringing severely affects wolf as a character - he is an incredibly capable shinobi, but lacks any skills other than that; he does not know how to be a proper person, he is a loyal wolf, but he does not know how to be anything other than that. hell, without spoiling too much about the context, there is a cutscene in which owl actively attempts to guilt trip wolf, going as far as using fake tears (saying anything specific is very spoilery. this isn't even the only horrid thing he's done, but I'm trying to refrain from too many spoilers).

wolf canonically does not value himself without anyone to serve (we see this at the beginning of the game, as events prior to the start of the game not yet known about leads him to believe he has no one to serve, and thus no purpose, so he isolates himself from the world in a well for 3 years). while he does have compassion for others (most notable example being concern over victims of dragonrot), he starts off the game driven primarily by duty. he is loyal to a fault, willing to do anything for kuro, but also valuing his service to kuro more than himself (cannot remember the exact wording, but when kuro expresses concern for how many times wolf has died for him, wolf states that it does not matter as it was in service to him).

there's also the fact that wolf canonically eats uncooked rice and genuinely doesn't know - as a fully grown adult - you are supposed to cook it, which is... genuinely something awful if you truly think about it and what more it implies about his upbringing especially considering it's one of the most basic things you could learn how to make (just... says a lot about owl if you seriously think about it).

he is a loyal wolf, but he doesn't know how to be more than that. he doesn't know how to just... exist for himself, to be his own person separate of his duty and he doesn't even recognise just how fucked up it is, because how could he, when he was shaped into this as a child, when his own father wanted him to be nothing more than a tool to use.

I could say a lot more about his relationships with other characters (that are actually good people) and how it just. makes me lose my mind, but this post is almost 1k words. so, simply put, kuro genuinely caring about him makes me so fucking emotional, especially bc of owl; his father might be horrible and an abuser, he might not know how to be more than he was raised, but at the very least he can serve someone who actively cares about him and his wellbeing.

#THERE IS SO MUCH TO DISSECT ABT HIS CHARACTER AND HOW HEAVILY IT WAS AFFECTED BY HIS UPBRINGING #I've seen a handful of people call him boring bc he doesn't say much and isn't that expressive emotionally and none of them are valid #I'm gonna explode those people with my mind powers. he isn't boring you just don't understand how to analyse characters #I need need need to get this man to some fucking therapy he so desperately needs it and doesn't even know it #if there ever was a fromsoft character most in need of therapy poll he would sweep and if he didn't I'd explode people with my mind powers #also I realise now a lot of my thoughts abt the game are just. restating known parts abt the game. I apologise for not being more specific #if you wanted to know my thoughts abt the story specifically. oops. I AM sorry but I do want to play it safe #I also do really appreciate how it was like. the (or at least one of?) first game in this time period made by a japanese company #which is part of why there are some things I do not know how to comment on bc I am very much a white canadian #also has a small poison swamp location. might be a plus for some people. I personally don't mind most poison swamps too much though #and ngl I kinda miss the iconic large poison swamp you have to traverse. it could be really fun being able to grapple #did I mention his prosthetic has a fucking grapple built in? well it does and it's really fun for movement.

[hollowflight-propaganda]

I'm feeling like shit, has anyone got any good music recommendations?

#I've had swimmer's ear for the past 4 days and it's finally clearing up #most annoying thing is that I haven't been able to properly listen to music and it's been driving me up the fucking wall all week #this is what happens when you don't let me listen to my tunes #anyway I'd really appreciate just anything #any kind of music is welcome I'm not picky #phoenix prattles

[snowflop]

I want to be a hater about the cyl results so I'm making my own post so i can bitch in the tags about it. The tags will get long so the tldr is BOOOO everybody but Alfonse.

#man. MAN!!! after all the hexes and curses I tried to set upon her Bern sure did win huh. #like on the one hand i'm impressed on the other i hate her!! i hate her i hate her and I'm tired of pretending I don't!! #when i was playing 3h i could appreciate her good moments in between being insufferable and i liked her alright. she was fine #but like. we're 5 years out from 3h at this point and i'm just fucking sick of her. i don't understand her lasting popularity. i'm tired #Felix... should have been Sylvain. #i like him fine. he grew on me. but he certainly is not one of my enduring favourites from 3h. he fades into obscurity for me. #that said i don't hate him. i'm happy for his fans. you guys worked hard (clearly) deserved i just #i love 3h!! i do! but like. the accident was 5 years ago it's time to let her go. #and out of all the guys in 3h! if it had to be one of them! him? fr? whatever. #i've just never cared for f!robin. i feel nothing looking at her. less then nothing. #so i guess her winning isn't. bad per say. i guess it's a non issue. #that brings us back to MY MAN!!! ALFONSE!! lets goooooooooo #i'm so happy for him. always really liked Alfonse he's so <3<3 #i know i don't post about him that much but #it's just that me and feh itself have a tumultuous relationship so i don't see him as much as i'd like >_> #he's the one i'm going to pick and i'm not going to bother rolling for the others #also the fact we have to wait til the 31st for the full results is agonizing #i wanna know if Rein survived. he didn't make ton 20 but i have to know how bad it is #if it's horrible the reason is obvious. he got an alt the week before cyl #can't imagine that'll put him at the top of anybodies list for needing at alt (except mine lol) #but still. at this point i'm just hoping for top 50 orz #snow blogging

[eatabledogy]

So I'm developing a new favourite interest-

#dogy dialogue #this is of course regarding the mass reblog spree i went on for south park shit #yeah that happened hours ago and yeah i still memed it #basically i forgot how but me and my sib started talking about creek and then we watched the craig and tweek eps again #and i half jokingly said what if we watched the whole series together #they said fuck it why not #and so we are almost finished season one and i can feel sp starting to grasp me in a chokehold #always saw the ads for this show and always thought i'd despise it #now look at me #i can hardly even believe i'm starting to get into this shit #it's the best worst thing to happen to me #btw this reblog spree happened because my sib expressed surprise that i hadn't reblogged sp stuff #so blame plugnuts #only reason i didn't was because of judgement but fuck it this is my blog and i can reblog sp if i want #also i just didn't think to so- #anyway fandom content for this show is fucking amazing #you appreciate it more cause the style is really kinda simple #so to see more of the characters features brought to life in drawings is so so so good #mostly the hair hhh #i went on a rant and don't know how to stop #i guess to wrap this all up i've been watching and enjoying south park and will reblog content for it until i die #thank you for coming to my ted talk #hope you like the high quality edit i did for this #peace