#I'll need to make more adjustments

[shinobisandals]

my rainbow brite cosplay 🌈

one of my favorite convention memories was when a mom got super excited seeing Rainbow in a con 🥺💗 i didnt expect anyone to recognize my cos but aaaaaaa 💗💗 i still need to do a shoot for her one day 🥰

Rainbow Brite cos made by Mirage Cosplay Shoppe

Photo by @i_sit_i_fit

edits lol by me (i wanted to try out the 80s aesthetic with the rainbows but HAHAHA I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH)

#rainbow brite #Nostalgia #Cosplay #Vian cosplays #I'll need to make more adjustments #Like the skirt is too big for me now #And the wig!!!!! #This is a saber wig LOL #I actually got an eli ayase wig for her supposedly #Bc it's a brighter shade of yellow #But its missing #80s

[pathetichoney]

[Image ID: A drawing of a selfie taken by Sam Manson with Damian Wayne. They are both dressed up in formal attire, Damian in a black/dark grey suit with a red tie, and Sam in a purple topped off the shoulder dress with black straps. She is wearing a variety of jewelry, a necklace with a bat pendant, a black choker with a star of david in a circle pendant and cartoonish spider shaped earrings. Her hair is reminiscent in her half-up hairstyle, but with two ponytails rather than one. The background is a dark wall, a white collumn and white tile flooring. There is a window in the back, with green curtains, and outside the window is a cityscape of Gotham at night. There is a watermark of the artist’s username in the top left corner @pathetichoney​. End ID.]

i am back on my bullshit this time with a v special new way that i’m drawing bc i got a new phone that i am paying out the wazoo for, however i can draw on it so my art has gotten significantly better. though of course i had to test myself and do both 1. a full background 2. a character who wears lipstick which i always struggle with unless their mouth is in a particular position and 3. a character that i have never ever tried to draw.

so like. rip me lol.

anyways i am back on my bullshit bc this is fanart of fanfic!!!! i always feel exactly in my element when i do this, it’s just always so good??? and fun?? and when i first read this fic, i mean oh god i just fell for it so hard. i ended up rereading it again like barely 48 hours after i’d finished reading it the first time lol

the fic in question is a damian and danny are twins au! it’s called Leap Before You Think by TourettesDog and i just-- the characterisations are just so well done it all feels incredibly natural especially with the merging of the two different universes into one cohesively and seamlessly it’s wonderful. there are a few faults with this pic i think, however i am still incredibly proud of it. as a bonus, here’s a better view of the window scene because i’m still really proud of that one:

#my art #danny phantom #batman #batfam #dp x dc #dp/dc #sam manson #damian al ghul wayne #fanfic fanart #also i am not jewish and i could not find a solid answer for this: but my intention w sam's choker necklace pendant was to be #the jewish star of david however when i looked online to find if i was right when i was doing the image id it was called a wiccan symbol? #as in the star of david in a circle and i couldn't find an answer to the question if they were two separate symbols or they're the same? #if this is NOT a jewish symbol then i can v easily change this and will make an edit for it even if it looks rather gothic for sam #i added the circle because the star that i'd drawn felt unfinished but i can v easily go back and add more detail to the star to remove it #as for damian i wish i could have accurately portrayed his murder scowl but due to my unfamiliarity with him i literally had to redraw him #like 10 times and i was v much relying on my friend to tell me exactly what i needed to adjust rip #in the end i gave up because this was the closest i could get to him and sigh oh well #i'll get it better next time i draw dp/dc stuff bc i probably will be doing it again soon lol #ALSO i am still v new to writing image ids so if there's any issues with this one please let me know!

[lit-in-thy-heart]

been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.

#making a little joke but also being genuinely serious #with my merwaincelot wip i've embraced having little overviews in brackets for what i want to happen #but idk how to write it just yet #if i'm feeling stuck or bored #and if i'm getting tired or the idea of writing an ending is getting overwhelming then i just call it a day and do something else #and yeah it's taking longer to write things (perhaps gone are the days when i wrote and posted a fic in the same night) #but it's working wonders with my brain #and it's amazing how as soon as i relax i get hit with several new ideas #just trying to adjust my thinking in that projects over a long period of time are not something to worry about #like i'm also planning a knitting project that i'll be doing well into september #(mainly bc yarn is expensive and my needs are hella specific) #but that's okay! #not everything has to be done and dusted immediately! #i'm glad i took a break from writing and i think it did do me good but damn i'm happy to be back #and enjoy still learning how to get even more out of my hobby #but anyway i'm just feeling a lil proud of myself today so #lit talks #personal

[autistickaitovocaloid]

The cover I've been working on since middle-december-ish is finally done!! This is kind of the draft copy though as at some point I plan to put it on youtube.

Original song by ryo ft. Hatsune Miku Off vocal used .sng files, mixing, etc. all done by me

#lalavoice #vocaloid #<- technically. mostly just tagging that for generalisation purposes as i don't have a blanket vsynth tag #this is my first time using lalasong so that coupled with the program itself makes it sound clunkier than its modern counterparts #but i think i did an okay job #i wish i did more notebend-y stuff but figuring out how this software handles sharps/flats/naturals made me want to eat glass #once i can think of something for the pv i'll put this on yt with any adjustments needed #anyway i'm going to go nap if i have to listen to this file one more time i will throw up

[simptasia]

my mum has stage four cancer

#we found out a week ago #august 4th - the worst day of my life #so there were a bunch of tests that mum hated so her team of doctors could have all the info they needed #but the last few days we've been out of hospital and. adjusting to life back at home #i've become a decent nurse #i lost feeling in my nose for four days due to intense crying #there are. no words for how devastating this has been #mums been sick a while. but neither of us could have predicted it was something so serious #and it's. very serious. i was in hysterical denial at first but #while i do believe theres a chance she'll live. that a miracle will happen #its very likely my mum. my wonderful mum will die #its not the ending she deserves. she deserved to have decades more. to hold her grandchildren #but it may not be #we have no idea how long until. nobody does. could be weeks. could be years. i'll take care of her #and she's on heavy painkillers around the clock so whatever happens? she won't go out suffering #i wasn't looking forward to telling y'all because. i knew it'd make me cry again #but i feel like using tumblr again. so i felt i should say something #i have been open about this to my close friends tho to be clear. i havent been bottled up. but yeah #ahead of time i say: thank you

[visdiefje]

Back home and some complicated feelings about it again 😍 that said. Nothing beats my own beautiful bed

#sometimes I genuinely don't know whether I'd prefer to move back in with my parents or not #it wouldn't solve anything but I guess I could save up for a house? maybe? #but then again I can't right now because the point of being here is the learning and experiences #plus! I said I was going to try out the year. and we're only 1/4th through #which is a lot and not a lot simultaneously #back from friend trip agh. I miss the company even if being around people makes me self conscious #not my friend himself mind you but roommates I don't know as well as him. regardless. company nice #but the advantage of being at friend's places is that you can see what makes you feel at home in a place and then adjust that in your place #for example. my family never put a lot of stuff up on the walls #but I actually love rooms with a lot of framed pictures photos posters and such up. so if I do that here I'll like my space more #also!! I need to get more lamps #I love having various lamps around the place and I love not using overhead lighting #so I should invest in some home decor... for my gay little mental health #perhaps see what I can do to decorate for the winter holidays? #bien rambles #I've never been good at decorating or interior design but I can play around with it now...

[asiancatboy]

life can be so easy sometimes. woag

#i ordered a pair of prescription transition glasses online at a great price & i love them sooo much but forgot they'd need adjusting #i just told my manager hey do you mind if i leave a little early today & she was just like yeah no worries #so i walked over to the local opticians & the woman there was so sweet. did the adjustment & was also like #'hey do you want a smaller nose pad? i think it would be more comfortable for you' so she went ahead & did that #whilst explaining to me how the process works bc i've always been genuinely curious how they adjust them. i learned they use a heat machine #to be able to adjust the temples :) also different glasses have different max heat points so you always have to be careful #then she showed me all the tools to switch out the pads which looked very fun. like tiny lego kind of fun #also she asked me abt my accent & i just told her 'no exciting story unfortunately. i'm autistic so i tend to pick up accents #but next time i'll make one up for you' to which she replied with the funniest story abt how her husband who was born without #anything past his right elbow loooooves to do that. make up stories abt how it got frozen off on a trip to the north that went bad or #bitten off by a shark or donated to someone else or to science. & she says all this with so much fond exasperation it was v funny & v sweet #7

[infinitethree]

OOC::

OH RIGHT, the bios!

So; they only have the Council, Caper, and Spark in them. A few others are mentioned, but only in reference to their significance to those people.

This marks it as a hell of a time capsule. At this point, several major plot points of Blood & Gold hadn't come up yet. Innit probably wasn't really even a thing-- a month or two old at best!!

Another nudge for people curious about the process of how the fic developed to go read the docs that show snapshots of what it looked like at the end of each of the eleven months it was in progress (and also the first day/session!)

We start with Aster!

A lot of this remains true! However, by the askblog he's more or less accepted the mantle of leader of the SwSh. And generally too well-respected (and feared) to get called something not too far off from mocking like 'Shadow'.

He's pretty much always been planned to have earrings from Theo and Lee, he's always been extremely heavily scarred, his clothes are more or less unchanged from when I first decided on them.

The cuff being subtly different is in reference to it being one of the first ones made-- and thus hand-shaped vs from a mold.

I don't think I've really conveyed just how BIG the Swords and Shields are, members-wise? Like-- a significant portion of newcomers end up there.

They don't all get insanely devoted to Lee (almost none of them in fact-- Daz and Aster are extreme outliers & the rest of the Council were hand-picked to be full-throatedly loyal at all costs)...but there's still a LOT of them.

Most people are in the group for fringe benefits. An excuse to learn to fight better, a ready-made social group, allies because most refugees harbor a fear that everything will go wrong again, to have something to believe in, a reason to get up every morning instead of curl up in bed and disassociate all day. The exact reason can be any of those or others!

So, yeah, between being head of the SwSh, a secret Council member, and his extreme closeness with both Theo and Lee...Aster is really, REALLY important. He's arguably the biggest faction on the server. I think it's been explicitly stated that Theo would be wary of him if he weren't nearly fanatically devoted to protecting Lee.

Anyway, moving on!

Here's where some major changes start. This doc was initially started around late 2021-- and thus before Polaris started. At best it wound up being last edited a few chapters in.

So, Aster's Dream wound up being quite a bit different than the initial concept. Ditto for Aster's personality, though less so.

Aster's seriousness was translated into his fucked up capacity to emote, and his actual vibes are more...chill? I wound up making him the opposite of Daz in a LOT of ways.

But most of that happens behind the scenes and I forget that it hasn't been "on-screen" much, lmao.

Looooots of shit got changed in here. Aster's Ranboo joined the 'actually super fucked up' club; a conversation about WHY Lee is so adamant about bandaids never really happened; Aster's final push was waaaay different.

The fics for the Council all started as character exploration snippets. Daz's became Blood & Gold, and Aster's wound up being Polaris.

Both, funnily enough, started pretty much at the end. Aster's choice was one of just a handful of scenes I wrote before I decided to just full on make it into a fic.

Still true that the Council of the Star is named because Aster's inclusion in a secret group linked to the SwSh is REALLY REALLY OBVIOUS.

A decent chunk of this is true, but the biggest change is easily to his dynamic with Daz.

The underlying friction, that being that they remind each other of their respective Dreams (and thus one of the primary vectors of their trauma) still holds true. Buuut now they're both WAY less mature about it!

Daz in particular is a petty, spiteful little bastard who is nearly always willing to get under Aster's skin.

Don't worry about the Khons and Raine parts! Definitely no neon warning signs about the sort of things they went through! :)

I NEED you to understand the sheer hilarity of Khon's usual outfit.

(Mask found here)

Picture these things together, and also remember that Khon's wool looks like spun gold.

He does not give a single FUCK about what looks good. In fact, he would love if more people were too intimidated/put off by his Vibes to approach him.

He spent most of his life either on the run or having zero control of his appearance. He's spent more than enough time forced to bow to others and being pretty for them. He's not doing it ever again.

More or less the same. This is the exact same thing Noodley read and then went "I'm gonna poke at their trauma!" and, because my power was out for several days due to snow, I did not stop to think about the CONSEQUENCES of that.

Daz was able to hold himself hostage because of it tho, so...it all worked out?

History skipped because it's still at least a LITTLE of a surprise!

Khons and Aleph's house is much further away now. It was built well before Daz+Raine or Aster's houses, actually! They no longer have a basement, though I still should make a workshop for them.

Sunroom wound up being the starting point of their build, and I'm really happy with it. Orange + teal/blue is one of my favorite combos! <3

Hey remember when the tokens were mentioned once and then never again? I do! Surely there's no reason to ask what was up with those, and there wouldn't be a noteworthy response to it or anything...

Oh man this was even before the Prime versions got their new names, lmao.

More or less all still true! Just a few shifts here and there, the biggest being that Perce is a little less important.

Still close to him, though.

Aleph has the least detail, because both he and Khons are still super underdeveloped.

Again, most of this is still true. Lee's importance is a bit more personal, and Theo isn't as close to him, but otherwise mostly the same.

Skipping over Raine's appearance bc there's something important there!

He's had some notable shifts from his initial concept. He's still not super outgoing, but his work with Daz means he's more used to it than I planned.

Def still has some deep-seeded sore spots about being useful to those around him. Daz, being Daz, doesn't let those linger for too long before he finds a way to remind him that he doesn't need to be useful.

Meanwhile Daz has a breakdown at the idea of not having a purpose.

There Is No Concerning Foreshadowing/Hints Here, Nope.

Most of this is the same, though I'm downgrading his closeness with Dee and Zinn.

Daz time!!

His cuff has existed and been referenced since before Blood & Gold started being uploaded btw.

His earrings were the first core idea for him, weirdly enough! Just popped into my head as I was deciding who to put in the protect-Lee-at-all-costs club. Needed members and leadership, one thing led to another, and now Daz has his own tag on my main blog.

My special little bastard <3

He's even less hinged now, but more or less the same.

This isn't all of his history, but I'm saving some of that for later.

Daz's Dream wound up becoming VERY different. Like-- I maintain that, as a whole, Dream was the more sympathetic of the two of them.

At least until. Y'know.

God, so much of this is WILDLY different from how Blood & Gold wound up being. You can see hints of where I started from, but like...wow.

This is before Innit, or at least before I would have actually considered adding it to the doc. I think parts of this were written before I settled on making Daz an admin, too!

By my metrics this is a fuckin' fossil.

Aster's already-mentioned shifts aside, this is surprisingly similar.

The biggest change is that his feelings about Lee are different. There's already been some foreshadowing about how and why that is! And outright stating some things, lmao.

As a bonus, Caper and Spark don't have a ton there, but--

#cocochaos #long post #I forgor for a few days #and also my i key is even more broken than before; the rubber nubbin tore off #it's exposed bc the part where the connector hooks in broke #aaand so even scavenging the flimsy plastic thing that makes the key move up and down correctly doesn't work #I have three and a half fucked up keys #i k [ & the left shift has been cracked for multiple years #I can hopefully reattach the i nubbin with superglue (again) #obviously it's not IMPOSSIBLE to write without it #and I'll adjust if I need to #but maaaaan is it uncomfy. #anyway. feel free to ask about all this! #oh and the Scribe and Mystery both have descriptions. They are...uh... #so I use eldritch as a semi-joke descriptor but like #these two are closer to the original meaning of 'beyond mortal comprehension' #asks are still slowly being worked on. As are BB + Creepypasta + Fool's Gold #and I MIGHT have a foothold for rewrites! no promises tho

[rimouskis]

got dinner with the sisters tonight and I had the oh fuck, you're an adult realization about the youngest one.

#it's so wild how being around them brings up so many of my old wounds from childhood (self-inflicted) #that are so clearly just baked into my being at this point #—how I feel really lame in comparison to them #how I find them so keenly social and blossoming in ways I never really felt I could achieve— #but the middle one is adjusting so so well to living alone and coming into her own as an adult in a huge city. it's really awesome to see. #she suffered from middle child syndrome a bit but it made her strong in ways me and the youngest aren't #I think my very desperate need for my sisters to find me cool is SO transparent and close to the surface when I'm with them #and that I fundamentally think they are much cooler and more worldly and experienced than me also feels very close to the surface lol #(those are The Old Wounds ahahaa) #idk I'm not sure I'll ever NOT feel this way. even if I'm the only child who moved out of our state; #even if I've been living alone for many years and they're just freshly out of home #I think it's one of those things that will always be with me because of [mumbles] several influential factors in growing up #and the sort of ... awe and jealousy I've always felt towards them because of how the birth order worked out #with the gap between me and them larger than the gap between the two of them and how our schooling choices broke down #anyways this is maybe the primal wound that has made me so fucking weird/intense about every friendship I've ever had since #I love them more than anyone in the world; I want them to be as impressed by me as I am impressed by them; #I find myself ultimately unimpressive in comparison and that childhood thought will stay with me for -- perhaps -- life #anyways I love them so much and it was awesome spending most of the day with the middle one and getting to make conversation with her. #she is so cool

[prijune]

The idea doodle:

Much more detailed doodle:

Deciding to make things smaller doodle:

An idea I had cause I also think it’d be cute:

^^Had an idea of squishing Ritsu next to Mama if I went with this version cause it looks empty some how

#prijune art #WIP #ensemble stars #I'd say this is finished but also part wip so I'm putting it in the wip section #Not entirely satisfied with this whole thing honestly but I keep drawing #I think I need to adjust my canvas size to make it better but I'll do that another day more wips for the wip pile #I just wanted to draw as many of my faves in one pic honestly

[piplupod]

heart pounding for extended periods of time while trying to go to sleep even though i am on beta blocker now. fuck me and fuck my need for sleep i guess !!

#frustrated and exhausted. why does this keep happening (i know why. i just cant fucking fix it.) #(@body: please stop keeping the fucking score. this is not helping and is actually just making things so much worse thank youuuu) #ahahaha whaaaat? nahhh this is definitely not a result of lifelong inescapable abuse pshhh how absur- nah thats it exactly lol #fuck me!!! shit boy i die!!! fuck!!! I die!!! shit boy!!! #starting to just accept it all though which is perhaps more concerning than my usual upset reactions #idk it is just. like this. i just get to live like this forever until i die ig. oh well! does not matter much bc i Cannot matter that much #it'll be fine. I'll adjust. it'll be fine bc it always is fhgjgkl #anyways shhhh dandy just go to bed. no more talking no more silly complaining. just go fight with sleep for the next two hours until u win #i hope everyone is having better sleep experiences than i am because god fucking damn this sucks SO fucking bad #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[trashpremiium]

i will remain normal about having to actually spend my time studying and not hang out with people <- (lying)

#finals. kicking my ass #i don't play either of my ttrpg games this week #most of my friends (here or online) either also have finals or still have classes so I can't hang out with them #can't make the 'studying together' excuse to hang out with my partner because we're hideously unproductive in each other's presence #and i shouldn't even be hanging out with people even if there were people who were available #because *i* need to prepare for finals #and it's like. hgmhmghmgh i get done with finals. and then i have to leave #and i don't get to see my friends for 4 months #and i don't have any friends in my hometown because i never bothered to make any #because i was like. well i'm leaving and never coming back anywya #that decision is biting me in the ass #anyway i'm so mad I only really started being social in the past 2 months #because i got used to it and idk how well i'll adjust to my normal solitude #hmmmmmmmmmmmm pain #i got one more time to hang out with people after finals #my partner and i are going on a 'double date' with my roommate and his boyfriend #which should be fun actually #and then it's Rot Together Time until i actually have to go home #zephyr talks

[penofdamocles]

Yes or No! Does the body feel less alien and strange, as in, has time improved ease-of-handling?

Oh, yeah, for sure. Not by a /ton/, but it's noticeable.

#Got some questions answered and some moving practice in and adjusted my. Like. Settings #So it makes more sense to me now. #Still need to get your scan but I'll do that tomorrow. #It's comforting that there's no factory or copyright information. I think. #So it's theoretically. Made for me specifically. #No Strings (ic) #asks #ask memes #M!A: Electronic Angel #saintworks

[deitiesofduat]

Was there any deities that were on Set’s side/liked his rule when he was king? Or was everyone on Isis’s side? (You don’t have to give names ofc Cz I know this is probably in the realm of spoilers but you made a comment about Thoth during Set’s rule in an earlier ask and I got curious)

Oh, it’s no worries! It’s a good question -- FWIW I was willing to mention as much about Thoth in the previous ask, because I had found several mentions of Thoth supporting Horus in the myths, and I haven’t seen any reason to deviate from it for DEITIES.

As for your main question, I had partially addressed it in this old post for Horus’s and Serqet’s relationship, here:

“It should be worth mentioning that not every deity had supported Horus’s cause, and that some initially sided with Set. Serqet, like several other deities at the time, felt convinced that Egypt was better left under Set’s [then current] reign, than in the hands of a young, inexperienced deity prince. [...] ”

I haven’t had much chance to expand the answer till now, but it’s more or less similar: The mythology emphasizes that The Contendings resulted in several years of war. [...]

For DEITIES, I interpret this as meaning that some of the gods (and by extension, their mortal devotees) supported different sides at varying degrees. This included lending their strength in battle, or sharing their information and resources, with the expectation of mutual protection and aid. But I also don’t think every god had to choose a side; if they had the means and desire, they could choose to remain neutral or independent to the results.

Basically, not everyone in the pantheon automatically sided with Horus at first, or even with his mother, the former queen. Their royalty and "right” for the throne wouldn’t sway everyone out of obligation — especially when Isis went into hiding for years, and her son was considered a young and very inexperienced deity. Meanwhile, Set was already a powerful and experienced god from the same royal family, and he had time to built his own rapport while Isis was MIA. Even for those who didn’t like Set as king (or a person), some did respect and/or fear him enough to not dare side against him.

For that reason, the odds were stacked against Isis and Horus at the beginning of The Contendings, until they had time to garner more support for their cause. It’s only after some the trials between Set and Horus, and Set’s gradual corruption from his own power (and the increasing stigma and fear about his chaos magic), that more of his support would dwindle and/or shift to supporting Horus. That would also include a bunch of politics and strategic maneuvers for each side that I need time to flesh out lmao;;

(Also, IDK if I mentioned it before, but in DEITIES for a good part of The Contending, not everyone believed Isis’s accusation that Set was Osiris’s killer. There’s some lore / potential spoiler reasons for how Set was able to conceal this, but it’s only later during The Contendings that the truth is revealed -- which could factor into Set losing some additional support and respect).

As for “who sided with who” — I haven’t decided on everyone, and the ones I have decided I haven’t made the call on how firm their support is. I’d like to think that even in war, the deities can be nuanced about who they support at a given time, and due to their own circumstances and personal biases.

For example, Nephthys assisted with Isis’s and Horus’s cause and aided where she could, but she remained by Set’s side as another pillar of support, constantly conflicted about leaving her husband for most of the war. Sobek, in contrast, would have been Set’s ally due to their past camaraderie as guards, and probably supported Set’s continued reign; but he didn’t go out of his way to antagonize or threaten Isis (who he respects), nor Horus (who was only a child at first, and then eventually earns his respect over time).

For everyone else, I’d be open to address or explore the details at a later time when it’s feels relevant, and provided that I pace myself with figuring out more relationship dynamics. Otherwise, we can leave the rest of the cast up for some speculation~

#// The more time goes the more lax I am about sharing backstory details -- but only once I feel confident enough about them #// Some I haven't quite figured out yet; but others I have ideas for but may choose to omit a little longer until it comes up #// Just makes it easier to avoid having to retcon stuff unless necessary (which I haven't needed to do much of yet #// But if Iearn new details or adjust parts of the story or lore that I'd already shared; I'll address any changes then and there #the contendings #DEITIES asks #general asks #backstory #DEITIES text

[darkpoisonouslove]

I'm... I'm weak.

#erda #og post #guys guys guys guys! #i could list at least 10 reasons why this scene is perfect #1. “we haven't done anything that needs justification” “we could fix that” #2. the fact that this is the first time she's worn a dress so far (and i'm pretty sure she only ever does it again at their wedding) #3. the very smooth arm around the shoulders #4. the little pause she makes when they start talking specifically about the two of them having sex #it's not so much shyness or awkwardness as it is just the need for a moment to adjust since this is all very new after years of loneliness #(in fact it's always very noticeable how comfortable they are with each other regardless of what they're doing or saying) #5. the way they laugh and lean closer together instinctively #6. the three very slow and small kisses that are barely anything more than just brushing their lips together #7. the way she startles and pulls away as if she forgot everything else #8. the way she starts to object but interrupts herself right before he kisses her again #9. the sync between their movements #10. the way he cradles her head and doesn't let go #11. the way he also strokes her hair while he's doing that #12. THE FOREHEAD TOUCH #13. “you're so beautiful when you smile“ ”but i don't know if i'll find it in myself to smile again“ ”you will. i'll show you happiness“ #14. her: it's rotten work. him: not to me. not if it's you #she's so hurt from all the bullshit that's happened to her that she thinks happiness is forever lost to her #and he's just trying to give them both the chance they deserve #15. “let's build our life together. i need it just as much as you do.” #16. “you'd know that even though i'm not smiling you made me feel things i didn't know before” #17. “i'd like to [be with you]. but i think that i can't be happy. nor can i make you happy.” #18. the way he clearly disagrees but didn't speak over her only hugged her #19. another forehead touch and 20. then he kissed her brow #c'mon are you trying to kill me? #congratulations! you broke intimacy down to its barest essentials #look at that! a perfect twenty bc that's what this scene is

[ghostlyheart]

I slept for like 2 hours last night, which is after several days of not getting enough sleep, and I feel like I'm walking around as a hastily safety-pinned together facade of a normal, sane person. Or like one of those trembling little dogs that is just on the verge of losing its whole shit at any given moment

#my goal for to day is to not have a full mental and physical collapse in front of other people #if I can trick people into believing I am in any way rational and well-adjusted than I'll believe I can do anything #I have a huge essay due at midnight tmr and while I really want to get it done tonight #I think I might actually try to get a full night's sleep so I can do it tmr during the day have it not be an incoherent mess #im in no state to do Anything really but. on we go #this is all poor-planning and time management on my end btw #it didn't Have to be this way but I love making my life more difficult than it needs to be #literally half of my posts these days are me complaining about school skdjsk #im not even upset and I'm just kinda surfing the wave of the chaos my life has fallen into