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youthoughtiwasserious · 8 months

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Because of my disabilities, both physical and mental, I have a love-hate relationship with trips.

I'm taking a very short road trip (2.5h one-way) to a friend's house for the Labor Day weekend. We'll be staying for 2 nights, then leave sometime early on Monday.

Packing for extended trips always stresses me out because of all the items I need to bring with me (and remember to bring). I don't need much in the way of clothing or toiletries, but meds and safe foods are a must for me. I have EDS, POTS, PCOS, IBS, OAB, & reactive airways dysfunction syndrome. All of these conditions can (and often do) act up at any point, so I always need to pack a bunch of shit to cover my bases.

Here's an idea as to what meds/medical items I packed for this short trip:

2 inhalers (steroid & rescue)

Medicated cough drops

Regular cough drops

SeaBands (luckily I don't get motion sickness on car rides -knock on wood- but I have them with me just in case)

Ginger lozenges (these are AMAZING for nausea, which I get pretty often & I hate bc I have emetophobia)

Extra strength antacids (for nausea or indigestion [a lot of foods bother me, unfortunately])

Charcoal pills (for when I ate something that REALLY bothered me & the lozenges don't work. Used cautiously & only as a last resort so it doesn't fuck with my medication)

Magnesium (for when I lean more toward IBS-C & for anxiety/POTS)

Small vial of salt (for POTS/rapid rehydration)

Electrolyte drink mixes (also for POTS)

Extra strength Tylenol (both regular & menstrual versions)

Antihistamines (sometimes these help with joint/muscle pain related to MCAS)

Compression socks (for pain & blood circulation)

Compression gloves (for pain)

Bengay or IcyHot

Urination device (for if my OAB acts up & there isn't a rest stop for a while)

Extra underwear & wipes (self-explanatory)

Towels (self-explanatory)

Big-ass water bottle (I get dehydrated v easily)

Safe snacks such as mixed nuts, Nature Valley protein bars, & peanut butter snack packs)

And I tried to pack LIGHT. But due to having COVID ~3 weeks ago, it's causing a flare-up for my lung condition, so I've had to be more aggressive with my treatment until I go for another pulmonary function test in October. It also must have messed up my already messed up hormones because it caused me to have a period for six weeks. The dizziness, headaches, and nausea that came along with losing blood for so long was not fun whatsoever. Now I'm just trying to be extra prepared for trips where I know I'm going to be expending a lot of energy & where I won't have access to my full "sick kit."

I also end up feeling embarrassed about needing to take care of myself when I'm not feeling well because I'm the only person in my friend group that's disabled. And they often forget that because, well, I don't ""look disabled."" I also don't like to bring it up too much because I feel like a killjoy, or like I'm holding them back. Often they're v chill about it when I do bring it up, which I'm super grateful for, but I can tell that sometimes they're thinking, "Really? You can't handle even this?" Which is...not great.

Anyway, remembering to pack all this shit, on top of all the other items that need to be packed, SUCKS. It gets so overwhelming for my executive dysfunction (bc ofc I have ADHD, too). I try to put lists together for each category so that I don't have to rely solely on memory as I'm packing, and it helps with not forgetting anything when it's time to pack up and go home. It's still a tad stressful to see so many items on my lists, but at least checking them off as I pack them is pretty quick.

Another thing that sucks when getting ready for a trip is time blindness always screws me over when I'm getting ready. Regardless of how early I get up or how many timers I set, I ALWAYS manage to take too long getting ready & then I leave for my trip way later than I wanted to. Luckily we hit the road only like 10 minutes later than we wanted, so it wasn't too much of a delay, but man that race against the clock always adds an element of stress that I could do without.

A saving grace for this trip so far has been my earbuds. I have the Anker Soundcore A40s I think & they are phenomenal (not sponsored I promise). I get overstimulated by sound pretty easily, and that includes the wind whipping around the car on the highway, or my life partner's psychedelic rock playing on the radio at a low volume (but still "too loud" for me). My solution this trip has been to put in my earbuds & turn on noise cancellation with no music playing. Oh my goodness I have felt so fucking chill since doing that. It no joke dims out the sound by like half - even with no music playing. Also they don't dig into my ears after a while like my 1st gen Galaxy Buds do, so I could wear these for hours. I'm honestly going to do this for my trip to Cancun 2 months from now bc holy shit this feels like a cheat code for me.

Honestly, I like trips. I'm not a fan of planes, but I'll get on one if it means I get to visit my friends and family in another state, or go to another country. I work in an office, so being on the road and feeling the sun warm my skin as I passively drink in the scenery that surrounds me is such a welcomed change of pace. Using the car ride as an excuse to ramble on about silly or deep things with my tripmate(s), belt at the top of our lungs to a musical soundtrack, or sort through my many scattered thoughts to my steering wheel, is something that I will never take for granted. Being able to escape, even just for a little while, the monotony of everyday life is what makes traveling worth it for me.

I often don't get the chance to see family, friends, or new places. Due to my disabilities and the chronic fatigue that comes with them, life experiences are not as frequent as I would love for them to be. So when the rare chance comes my way - assuming I'm not nursing a migraine, vertigo, or stomach issues - I jump on that shit.

I was not feeling this trip when I first got up this morning. I was dreading the packing, the drive, the symptom management, the planning of what foods I could eat at the restaurant my friends want to visit, & also I've been dealing with some pretty hefty social anxiety and rejection sensitivity lately so I've been avoiding social interactions. But the first part of the day ended up being okay, plus the trip has been smooth so far since we got on the road -knock on wood again-, so I'm a little more hopeful about the actual visit going well. Fingers crossed it's more fun and positive than I'm expecting.

#text #my rambles #adhd #disabled #road trip

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hirokiyuu · 10 months

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thinking abt yuujins fam

current ages assume yuujin is 17 (ie the age at which they wound up in twst at the v start)

papa

i dont have a name for this guy yet

he/him, 50s i think

has some sort of job that keeps him away from the house 90% of the time. i dont THINK he works overseas but he either a) works in tokyo living in his own apt bc the cost of a shitty leopalace is less than the commute time to their place in kanagawa or b) might be like. a train driver? was the other one i was thinking of????? lmao. either way he's only at the actual family home like one weekend every few months. its always a big deal when hes home

loves his wife+kids but desperately overworked. would like to be home more often but doesnt have the money at any local jobs to stay near them. gaman attitude to life

only child i think

hikari (mama)

she/her, 50s as well but a little younger than papa

office worker. one of those horribly overworked kinds. probably works in yokohama and has to commute like two hours a day. gone by the time most of hte kids wake up, home late enough she doesnt see them either.

loves her kids a lot but overindulgent. spoils all of them but also relies a little too much on yuujin (guy who is like :) i like cooking and helping mama! as a kid. not realizing he is signing himself up for The Horrors) does understand its not normal but yuujin doesnt complain so she doesnt do anything and also kind of cant given that she is again, horrendously overworked

wanted a lot of kids her whole life. adores them all. wishes she could have more time to tkae care of them but as we all know, The Cost of Living In Japan

yuujin goes here. 17, he/him (eventually they/them), if u need me to say moer than you have not been following my blog

mitsuki

she/her, 15

first year of high school

Extremely self-centered. well aware her ability to get out of hte house w/o having to rely on their parents ever releis a Lot on her being self-sufficient and is trying to play into her own strengths. also just hates being home so she's out doing Overachiever Things a lot but also going to karaoke and making friends and spending as little time at home as possible

will stay up to get allowance from mom, who should not be giving it to her but does bc she loves all her kids a bit too much

mutsumi

she/her, 13

yuujin's best friend. lmao.

chubby otaku. got bullied a lot in grades 5/6, situation got somewhat better in middle school but still doesnt really have any friends besides yuujin

shy + meek, doesn't know how to talk to people. wants to help yuujin more around the house but having so little self confidence means she needs a Lot of handholding and ends up creating more work for him so hes usually just like. go sit down and then tell me abt w/e manga youre into rn

only one that knows yuujins gay, a secret she guards w/her life

ruito

he/him, 11

sixth grader. loooooves yuujin more than anyone in existence! this is Not a Good Thing

sporty, thoughtless, jealous. wants yuujins time but yuujin has no time to give, which manifests in him being mad that mutsumi is the clear favorite and trying to bother yuujin when yuujin is Doing Other Things.

the next ones are more tenuous. i was thinking of yuujin as eldest of seven which i think means One of these needs to be a set of twins but idk which one and what would be most fun. i have runa + the problem child more set in terms of personality but the last kid is like....... so ambiguous theyre just floating midair to me u kno

runa

she/her, 9 or 10?

fourth grader. loves idols and wants to be one

does Not have the money to be an idol fan but through the power of begging and having an overindulgent mama has a semi-decent collection of merch. this drives yuujin insane

less problem causing than some of the other sibs but still causing problems. u kno how it is

youngest child

he/him so far, 5?

first grader. Terrible

bitey. wants to Go. immense handful. cause of every single one of yuujins headaches. constantly trying to run out of the house into traffic, thinks its funny when yuujin has to chase after him. probably in trouble for behavioral problems at school All the Time

ambiguous other child

moody type?

identical twin. probalby will develop a complex abt this in several years time (if youngest's twin) or has already started to (if runa's)

a ltitle bit forgotten given how many strong personalities are ni the fam. will occasionally lock themself up in their room if neglected tho which Causes Probelms and yet givs them attention which thereby reinforces the behavior lol

anyways. thoughts. i have them

#mitsuki + mutsumi are the two i think abt the most i like mitsuki a lot #even tho she is the source of several of yuujins headaches LMAO #yuujin stuff

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beneathascorpionsky · 11 months

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vent-ish? not like. super serious. just. thoughts

So a few days ago my grandfather asked me where I see myself in 10 years and I kinda struggled. Cause as a rule I avoid that. I avoid thinking too far in the future to keep myself from combusting from an overload of anxiety. I eventually kinda cobbled some kind of answer along the lines of 'well it would be nice to have a decent job and to have published one or two of my stories'

and that was kinda it until like. right now when i got in the shower and it came back to worm through my entire brain. i was like. Where DO i see myself in 10 years? And its a really hard question cause like. I can see myself in. a lot of different places actually

like one of the best ones I've published my books and they've taken off amazingly. I have lots of money and I buy a cabin up in Alaska and I go live up there to be away from everything and I write more books and I have money to fly my friends and family up to visit me all the time.

Or maybe I move upstate to a nice town I like, I have a job I can support myself off of, I have friends, and I write and maybe my books never make a big splash but I could be proud just having the strength to actually finish them and let them go out

or I could be dead. Yknow, car crash or I get sick or the world just. Ends. I'm gone. I'm in heaven and i don't really think you can goal project into the afterlife very easily.

Or I could be married and I could be really happy or my husband's job could have taken us somewhere I'm utterly miserable and I could have 3 kids that I'm dedicated to but try as I might I can't love them. or maybe I love them more than I can possibly imagine loving anything and I give up oh my ephemeral joke of being a storyteller and I'm happier than I could ever be even though at the moment just the idea makes me tear up.

Or. the most stifling and most realistic one, I haven't gotten anywhere. I'm still in my hometown, with a job that isn't' getting me anywhere, relying on my parents who love me but wanted more for me, too tired to open a word document much less string together a coherent plot. And idk. I feel like I hate that one most of all, but at the same time it feels like the most likely. Like Lot's wife I'm frozen in the salt, looking backwards and never forwards.

I feel like my default is just to say 'It's all in God's hands!"v but even that feels cowardly in a way. Let God deal with it, I don't even want to think about it because it's too scary. It's too hard. I don't want to do the work. I just want God to drop a job or a husband or a publishing opportunity on my doorstep cause I'm too scared, I'm too stuck to take any initiative myself.

uh. anyway. I think I can tell it's about that time cause my depression goes from mild apathy to I'm actually feeling emotions. wee.

#my posts #reflective #idk man i just #it all kinda came up in my head and it came out here #i don't really like to post anything really personal on here cause it is the hellsite tm #but #yeah #whatever #vent

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skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru · 3 years

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I think Gojo's more of a lonely God than a cheater. He's put on a pedestal since birth and everyone wants him for his looks/power. His friends (Nanami, Shoko) and students (other than Itadori) insult him/treat him like an annoyance. I'm sure anyone would be bothered by how the people closest to him, who are supposed to support him, constantly call him a bother and don't want to be around him, so based on that Gojo probably doesn't even think he'd be fit for a relationship when everyone always brings him down. The only one who saw him as Satoru rather than "The Strongest" is probably Geto, who was almost as powerful as he is but more importantly, treated him more like a friend.

When Gege said he can't see Gojo as being faithful to a certain woman, it's probably because we've seen how women are treated in Jujutsu society, and since Gojo is so busy, if she can't keep up with him, they'll probably hardly see each other. She would have to be a very strong sorcerer who can keep up with him and sees him as a person, like Geto. Otherwise, Gojo probably can't have a relationship with a woman because they wouldn't be able to understand each other- most people wouldn't be able to understand Gojo, actually, like Gojo can't understand most people, because of the power difference. Gojo grew up with a whole different mindset after being treated differently than everyone else. Therefore, he would need a woman who is incredibly strong, almost as much as he is, to understand where he's coming from. She'd also have to be knowledgeable enough to have a deep conversation with him about Jujutsu, morals, beliefs, and future plans to plot with him. She'd have to support him, but also call him out on his bs or when he's doing something wrong, and praise him when he's behaving well while also treating him like a human being with emotions. She would most likely be the girl version of Geto, but more patient and affectionate and teach Gojo about how to care for other people and give proper affection. Most of all, she would have to have an unshakeable character, someone who will stick to her beliefs no matter what and stand her ground, even if the world is against her (and if she's with Gojo, the world will be against her). After Geto's betrayal, she'd also have to prove that she'd never betray Gojo for him to let her in, so patience is very key for this relationship. Gojo needs a partner in crime, an equal or close to it, that he can share his life with and go to when he needs help or when he feels vulnerable, someone he can let his guard down with and trust wholeheartedly. Someone who can protect "The Strongest" or be decent enough at it. Therefore, you can see how such a person (man or woman) would be very hard to find. Geto was probably the closest one to being in a real friendship with Gojo, let alone a relationship.

Also, this is just me but I personally think Gojo's too busy to have an affair/one night stands. Gege said he doesn't sleep long and in the light novels, Gojo said he has to sightsee while on missions cause otherwise he would have no time. Gojo doesn't drink either so it's hard to see him going out of his way to the bar or wherever to pick someone up. If he feels needy, he can just get off by himself like the rest of us 🥲 He also probably wouldn't go out of his way to seduce someone, bring them home, and then kick them out when he wakes up 3 hours later. That might just be me hoping he still has his v card tho lol.

Sorry for the rant too lol. Just wanted to share my thoughts and see what you thought of this cause I really love your work and how you write Gojo and wanted your opinion 💙 🙏🤔

Omg anon do not be sorry at all for this 1000000/10 ❤🙌 honestly there's nothing I can disagree on you with becuz this is exactly how I see his character as not some cheater or player who goes around messing with people MAN GOT NO TIME FOR THAT he just wants to enjoy his life becuz he's got so much shit to do and deal with and imagine the pressure of having everyone relying on you but something tells me he was wild during his highschool days and lost his v card along the way lol man has too much ego to be called an almost 30 year old virgin

#i love this rant #anon thank you #everyone pay attention #jjk gojo #gojou satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #jjk imagines #gojo satoru x reader #skipps chat

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airi-p4 · 2 years

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From above the stars - Chapter 9

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So um... hi! Does anyone remember this story...? It's been so long ^^; I don't have as much time and energy as I used to write or draw, but I'm still working on my stories in my mind ;v; Since chapter 10 is almost done, I can finally post this one, that has been finished for ages but never posted. This chapter sets the mood for Chapter 10, which is VERY LONG.

Enjoy?

Chapter summary:

Luka and Marinette catch up and make a promise.

TW: Check the tags!!

AO3

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CHAPTER 9 - Caring

The next time they met, a few days later, Luka looked exhausted. He told Marinette he had to spend days cleaning his house (did he mention he used to live on a ship?) and hiding and throwing away any possible cutting or harming items he could think of: knives, scissors… in case his mother attempted anything crazy again. He told her how he also got rid of bottles of alcohol, too, since his mother had been relying on it to cope with her daughters’ passing, and he also explained how he hid the medicines and chemical products like bleach under lock and key. He had mentioned money struggles, too. How he had to sell old musical instruments and antique old stuff no one used and had been stored there for years, and how he had started a new part-time night job to combine with the one he already had to earn more money. He never mentioned what he did for a living, but Marinette assumed it was related to music, since he mentioned needing his guitar.

Marinette had given him space, but she had missed him deeply after a few days without seeing each other. She gave him a hug and soon pulled apart to analyze his tired face.

"Luka. Are you taking care of yourself?"

Her question surprised him. When was the last time he worried about his own condition? He couldn't even remember. He smiled weakly in regret as she scolded him.

"You have to take care of yourself, Luka. Keep being healthy, drink water, exercise… You look so pale…" she touched his face and he closed his eyes, tilting his head to press his skin to the palm of her hand. ‘Just how lonely must he be feeling…?’ Her heart ached for him. "Promise me you'll take care of yourself. Please… If anything were to happen to you… I don't know what I would do…"

He pulled back for a moment to stare at her teary eyes, and was immediately moved by her concern. He shouldn't be making her feel even more remorseful after all she had been through, he thought.

"You're right, Marinette. I have a few friends checking on me, but I promise I'll take care of myself more. For my mother, for my friends… and for you" he showed her an apologetic expression that made her heart throb. "Thank you, Marinette"

"Anytime…" She offered him a comforting smile that made his heart feel lighter. "How is your mother doing?" she asked, somewhat scared.

He was obviously uncomfortable with her question, but he still gave her an honest answer.

"She's better thanks to her medicines... but she's still not herself. And with my sisters’ birthdays coming soon…” he sighed. “She keeps asking for them and saying we need to buy them cake and presents and throw a party… I don’t have the heart to tell her they’re gone every time she mentions them… she's in denial even if I tell her...” he looked exhausted. “But overall, her condition is improving. I think deep down she knows. She just needs time to assimilate. Thanks for asking, Marinette”

Marinette shook her head in a 'no need to thank me' way and smiled a little relieved.

"What about you, Marinette? How are things going? You told me you got a new job?" He asked and she looked back at him. "I'm sorry I haven't asked earlier. How is it? Do you enjoy it?"

"No, no! Don't apologize! It's ok. What you're going through is more important than any story I could tell you…"

"I enjoy hearing your stories, though" he smiled, and she blushed.

"You do?" He nodded. "Thank you, Luka"

"What kind of job is it?"

"Gabriel Agreste asked me to be a fashion designer for his brand. I probably just got the job because I was his son's… you know. But it's my dream job and-" she fidgeted with her fingers. "I'm in the training process, but he said he expects big things from me. Which is reassuring but also scary… Because- what if I fail or my designs aren't good enough? Or if I mess up creating them! Or if-"

"Marinette," he called to stop her rambling, and she looked up at him. "You'll do amazing. That's an amazing job you got. I bet someone like Gabriel Agreste wouldn't leave his company to anyone who isn't worth it. Have more faith in your skills. I've seen some of your designs and they are amazing. Your rock collection was impressive. I believe in you"

"You don't think I just got the job because of who I was…?"

"Absolutely not. It's for who you are and for your talent. I have no doubts"

"Thank you… It's not as easy as before to find inspiration but I'm enjoying designing again…" she showed him a smile under her pink cheeks.

"That's good. I'm glad" he smiled softly, warming her heart.

"Wait- Did I show you my designs? When…?" She tried to recall. "Wait-! You saw my rock style collection!? That's embarrassing!" She covered her face with her hands. "I got scolded for going off-topic with those… But I was quite fond of them…" 'because you were my inspiration' she kept to herself.

"Really? I think they looked amazing. It's a pity... But I guess it makes sense. Gabriel Agreste doesn't seem the type to rock that style" his smile widened.

"I think so too!" Marinette grinned. He looked at her with loving eyes- or at least she hoped they were.

"Say Marinette…” he spoke again, picking her attention. “When are you free? I still owe you an outing"

Marinette flustered hopefully. "I can anytime! Except Friday. My job is flexible, so I can adapt" she explained. "Are you sure you want to go…? What about your mother?"

"I want to go. I'll ask her nurse to look after her for a few hours. It won't be long, probably, but we can go somewhere relaxing. You deserve a break"

"You too!" She protested. "Probably more than I do. You deserve a break and to relax and to be happy! If I can help, I'll be more than glad to!"

"Thank you, Marinette. What about a picnic, then? We order some sandwiches and juice and relax at some park nearby."

"Sounds good... but only with one condition" Luka looked at her with curiosity. "No buying, I'll take care of the food" her closed hand pressed against her chest with confidence.

"Do I have a chance to change your mind?" Luka chuckled.

"You don't! I'm pretty stubborn, you know?" She confidently grinned.

"I thought so" he chuckled, and she giggled in return.

"I'll text you to set the date, the time and the place of our meeting later tonight" he said, noticing it was almost his curfew to go.

"It’s a date!" She exclaimed, but immediately covered her face with her hands. She was supposed to keep that to herself but it escaped her without thinking. “Ah-”

Luka chuckled and couldn’t deny anything to her happy face. She was too cute.

"I mean- I can’t wait to finally meet you outside the cemetery!" She added, thankful for how Luka never made fun of her when she embarrassed herself.

"You really are funny, Marinette. You won’t believe I’m not a ghost just yet, will you?" Luka's smile widened, amused, his head tilted to one side.

"That's not it, geez!" She pouted, with redness on her cheeks. And soon both shared comfortable laughs.

Being with Luka was so easy, comfortable, and beautiful, that Marinette sometimes wondered if Luka was a treasure the stars sent her to compensate for her ultimate bad luck. Her feelings for him kept growing, and her heart felt about to burst out whenever she was with him. And despite knowing she was failing her mother and the Agreste's family, she couldn't restrain herself. Luka had become someone indispensable in her life- the reason for it. To the point she practically forgot who she was before they met.

Meanwhile, Luka's thoughts were slightly different. He longed for her, but he knew he shouldn't be getting closer to Marinette. He was well aware love between them was forbidden, for multiple reasons, but he also knew he was too attached to her to keep his distance. She was his secret garden: where he could live in a happy dream, take a break and temporarily forget about his tragic real life.

Their growing feelings were both a blessing and a curse.

#((Gosh- I wish I was a good writer so I didn't have to struggle so much on my fics))#fic: from above the stars #my fic #airip4 #lukanette fic #endgame lukanette #angst / tragedy fic

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jesswritesthat · 4 years

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I love your blog;;; your writing is amazing! Could I ask for Ushijima, Oikawa, Hinata and Kenma with an SO who, despite being around their age is already playing on a professional volleyball team and one day they take their SO to meet their high school team? Idk just seems like a fun idea to me XD

Ahhhhh thank you! This is such a cool idea, thank for sharing it with me and I hope I did it justice. :) Apologies for the wait!

Warnings: None

>>>>—————————>

Kozume Kenma:

• This Setter is impressed when you tell him that you’re under 19 representative for Japan for the Youth World Championship, viewing you as the equivalent to the Boss Level of a game.

• Regardless of your position he’ll ask for pointers that he can recommend to Nekoma because he wants to see his friends succeed.

• Once he utilises your suggestions with them they are suspicious, asking him what he’s secretly being doing in his spare time and his shameless answer is:

“(L/n) (Y/n).” They were joking, falling silent when Kenma gave them a legitimate reply.

“Wait. WAIT. Kenma has an s/o???”

• Now they want to meet you, and Kenma cannot be asked with the constant whining so he brings you in so casually it’s like whiplash to your reputation.

“Meet my s/o, (Y/n). This is Nekoma, good luck.” And suddenly you’re the center of attention whilst Kenma stands besides you with a sigh.

“You mean, basically Pro (L/n)?” - Yaku

“Under 19 Japan Representative (L/n).” - Kai

“The amazing Volleyball player (L/n)!” - Yamamoto

“Yeah. That’s what I said.” A deadpan answer from your boyfriend.

• Kuroo is undoubtedly honoured, asking for any pointers and just basking in how Volleyball has connected you all - especially Kenma and yourself and is honestly beaming whenever the two of you interact.

• Then there’s Lev...

“Who?”

“They’re famous! They’re in all of the sports magazines alongside Ushijima.”

“Uhm...?”

“...Kenmas partner.”

“Ohh! You mean (Y/n)?”

Cue unanimous face palms.

• You’re officially invited to drop by practice whenever you like, Kenma seems more motivated whenever you’re around. Plus he has a soft smile on his face whenever you’re not looking....

Hinata Shōyo:

• Volleyball is a big passion so it’s one of the first things he asks about - he did not expect for you to rank so highly in the sport. You’re coveted by many V-League Teams once old enough.

• He’s eager to see you in action, in fact this qualifies as a date to Shōyo as he loves training with you so much, you empower his motivation for the sport even more which was thought impossible.

• The team know - they don’t believe him - but they know. Hinata was bragging about you the second you accepted his confession, so he wants to bring you to Karasuno ASAP.

“My s/o is here!”

“Hah, cut the crap Hinata there’s no way (L/n) (Y/ - oh it’s (L/n) (Y/n)...”

• You’re greeted so warmly, the third years especially helpful in scolding an admiring Tanaka and Nishinoya who Hinata was simping alongside tbh.

“So amazing!”

“I know, I love them...” Hinata says this so dreamily, it’s adorable.

“So gorgeous and talented!”

“Yeah I know right?”

• You get involved in their practice and they’re awestruck when you completely thrash the opposing mini team. Hinata eagerly tackles you, Kageyama muttering shy compliments and how you’re too good for shorty (just to wind him up).

• Shōyo is so grateful for you, even just coming to his practice added to his sunshine attitude +10 and he can’t wait to attend your games and vice versa.

• They tried to absorbed as much as possible from you, their skills and techniques amplified by your presence so Hinata is instantly granted permission from both Ukai and Karasuno to drag you along whenever possible. You can even wear his jersey.

Oikawa Tōru:

• This enthusiast knows who you are, you don’t need to even breathe it and he manages to subdue his gushing to at least the second date.

• If you ask him to Set for you, he’ll melt honestly. Oikawa is honoured to be training at your level and uses your style to better improve his own skills so it’s a win win.

• Seijoh has heard about you, the way the Captains eyes shine whenever you’re mentioned is clear indication of his admiration, so obviously he wants you to meet them and presents you like a deity.

• Aobajohsai want to play a practice game of course and after one victorious set on your part - Rules. Are. Issued.

“That’s it, Oikawa you can’t team with (L/n) anymore - they’re ours!” Makki proudly confirmed, politely pulling you over to his and Hajimes side.

“Fine, I’ll still win, come Iwa-chan let’s-“

“I have (Y/n) now, I’m loyal.”

Cue pouting Tōru with Mattsun and the underclassmen trying to hold in their laughter despite the oncoming loss.

• You serve together and it’s terrifying, Tōru always seems to have honed his technique a little more after training with you so they all cover the back of their heads when he goes for it.

“Cover guys! He saw (Y/n) yesterday!”

“Wha- owww?!”

“Off aim... but my power has increased!”

“Damn you Captain!”

• Seijoh love you, almost as much as Oikawa does and always try to involve you in pranks on their Captain and also rely on you to pep talk him if he ever overworks or gets down. Oikawa will try to attend your games whenever he can Seijoh always wanna tag along too lol.

Ushijima Wakatoshi:

• You probably met as under 19 representatives for Japan for the Youth World Championship, both being highflying professionals made for great common ground.

• Ushijima admires you so much, you have talent and encouraged you to hone it by his side so you can bring out the best in each other. Will attend each other’s games and try to learn from play styles.

• Did some say Ultimate Power Couple?

Yeah, Tendou and the rest of Shiratorizawa did.

• They know the two of you are dating, it’s a popular area of gossip on sport related social media so they have to pester him into bringing you along to practice one day.

“How’s Wakatoshis’ incredible partner? Welcome to our humble little school~”

“Hey again Satori I’m good, how’s Ushiwakas’ lovely best friend?”

• Obviously you know Satori, and the underclassmen are dumbfounded by the informality as they’d be terrified to refer to you so casually. Goshiki practically bows the second you’re in a 5ft radius and asking you to check out his skill.

• You offer to serve and their happiness is shattered by your partner.

“I wouldn’t, you’re unlikely to withstand the precision of (Y/n)s serves.”

But Hah! They’re gonna try anyway - until the ball shoots past them like an arrow and they’re staring at you like you’re superhuman.

“May-maybe Ushijima-Senpai was right...”

• But, they’re more than eager when you and Toshi propose a practice match - softly smiling with a quick kiss before parting ways to opposite sides which surprised the team further. You train together a lot, but competing against each other? It’s sparked a fire under both of you.

• Barely you graze a win, Shiratorizawa remaining impressed and swarming you for game tips much to Ushijimas amusement and it’s clear they’ve lowkey adopted you as a role model.

———

[Masterlist]

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dcforts · 4 years

Text

[monday 4: bet]

ao3

Four times Eileen thought Dean and Castiel were more than friends and one time Sam (finally) saw it too.

Eileen likes the bunker. As a hunter you learn to be grateful and appreciative of things that others give for granted. Like waking up feeling safe, knowing that nothing can jump right through your window and attack you. Like pressing your cheek on a soft pillow without having to worry about bed bugs and filth. Like opening your bedroom door and smelling coffee.

She smiles and follows it right to the kitchen.

She doesn’t expect to find Castiel standing next to the coffee machine. He is in his usual attire, looking exactly as the last time she’s seen him. He looks up as soon as she enters and smiles politely at her. “Good morning” he says, “Would you like some coffee?”.

She smiles back, nods and waits for him to fill her a mug.

Then she sits at the table and watches as Dean appears on the door, his eyes sleepy, his hair messy, the belt of his robe loosely tied. He waves lazily in her direction then goes straight towards Castiel, holding out a hand to grab the mug that he was already offering him. No words between them, just soft smiles, as if it’s a thing they do every day. She has not been around the Winchesters that much but she is fairly sure she’s never seen a more content expression on Dean’s face.

He sits down next to her and closes his eyes, lost in the smell of the coffee.

“Good morning to me” she reads on his lips, with his eyes still closed, as if he’s talking to himself.

So, you know, Eileen is a very good observer. It’s a crucial skill for a hunter, especially someone who hunts alone and has no extra pair of eyes to rely on.

Later that day, Eileen and Sam are pressed against each other on a couch, both ignoring how “sharing a laptop” is a such a lame excuse for two adults to sit closely together. But whatever. Sam is showing her a restricted online archive about lore in European historical findings that he was able to crack into when she catches Dean passing by the door and she remembers about that morning.

“Sam,” she interrupts whatever he was saying on some magical old stones. “can I ask you a question?”

He nods. “Sure.”

“Castiel and your brother,” she signs, hoping that that’s enough input for Sam. Clearly it isn’t, because he keeps looking as if he’s expecting her to go on. “Are they… together?”

He frowns and ask: “Together? As in…?”

In response she signs: “Love.”

Sam has the funniest reaction. His face goes blank and he starts staring into the distance as if he’s processing a word he is not used to hear. He snaps out of it right when Eileen is wondering if she should wave a hand in front of his face. “No,” he says, “it’s not like that.”

She gives him a look as if to say “Please”.

“Really, they – they are like brothers.”

Eileen makes a disgusted face and signs: “Brothers?”

He makes an annoyed face back. “Yes. It’s not like that,” he repeats.

“They act like a couple,” she signs.

He shakes his head. “You are wrong.”

“It looks like there’s something more between them,” she insists in the face of his blunt denial. “Wanna bet?” she signs raising her eyebrows.

Sam frowns and signs: “I’m not betting on my brother.”

“Come on.” she says, then signs “If I win, I want you to cook for me.”

Sam laughs. “I can just do it. No need for any of this.”

She shakes her head and smiles: “Don’t worry, you will. When I win.”

ii.

They’ve been working like crazy, taking all kinds of jobs up and down the state. It’s tiring but as a team of four they can get it down in a fraction of the time it would take if they were on their own. Plus, it’s definitely more fun even if it feels like they barely have the time to put down their bags before something else comes up and they’re out of the bunker again.

This time, it looks like a simple enough job that could take two days top. Sam is checking their supplies once again and Castiel is sitting at the map table flipping through a magazine when Dean finally appears in the room.

“Alright, let’s go” he says clapping his hands together.

Sam looks up and makes an horrified face: “Wait. Dean, what are you wearing?”

“What? Oh, yeah. It’s a cowboy shirt.”

“You can’t wear that. With that thing on your shoulders. We are not going trick or treating.”

“Hey! Don’t insult the shirt.”

Eileen laughs at the exchange so Sam addresses her. “Eileen, please tell him.”

She just shrugs amused and Sam looks betrayed so Dean keeps going: “It’s not my fault we’ve been out all week and I didtn’t have time to do my laundry. This is the only clean thing I have left.”

“Well, you can’t come dressed like that. Just take one of mine.”

“You have freakishly long arms, Sam, I’m gonna look like I’ve shrunked in my clothes.”

Eileen turns to Castiel who seems engrossed in his magazine that has titles on the cover of the kind “Top 10 poisonous plants you can find in the jungle” right next to “What colours should you paint your garden shed”. It looks like he is used to it and knows that staying away from their arguments is the safest strategy to survive with the Winchesters. She taps him on his shoulder. “What do you think?” she signs, interrupting Dean and Sam who are still going at it.

Castiel looks up but Dean cuts him off before he can open his mouth: “Why are you asking him for? He has never changed once in his life.”

Castiel shoots him an annoyed look but doesn’t respond to the provocation. “Did you check the laundry room?” he says calmly instead.

Sam glances over his shoulder to look at him.

Dean just stares, seemingly confused.

“You always forget your clean clothes in the laundry room. There should be a red one that you haven’t wore this week yet. I assume it’s still there.”

Dean thinks about it for a few seconds, then nods: “Yeah, you’re probably right. Be right back.”

Castiel sighs and goes back to his magazine without another word.

Sam’s gaze meets Eileen’s. She raises her eyebrows and signs “Cute”.

Sam mouths back. “It means nothing”.

She just laughs and takes the stairs.

iii.

It’s a rainy afternoon and they are keeping busy cleaning their weapons and filling shotgun shells of rock salt. At some point Sam looks up from where he is sitting right next to Eileen.

“Hey Cas,” he says “remember that book that you were reading last week about sigils? I wondered if I could borrow that. I wanted to scan it and send it around to other hunters.”

“Sounds like a good plan. I’ll give to you later.”

“Oh, no, there’s no rush if you are still reading it.”

“It’s not bother. I’m not reading tonight anyway. I’m watching a movie with Dean.”

Dean, on the other side of the table, lifts his gaze for a moment at the sound of his name then goes back to his gun.

“O-okay, thanks.” says Sam.

Eileen meets his gaze briefly and holds back a smile.

Only when they are left alone she nudges him with an elbow and Sam knows immediately what she is going to address.

He grumbles: “They watch movies together all the time, they are friends!”

Eileen shakes her head. “But why haven’t they invited us?” she signs, then answers her own question: “Date night.”

“No, you don’t understand. Dean has been showing him all the stuff he doesn’t know.”

“I understand very well that I won the bet” she says challenging him.

Sam sighs and signs. “There is no bet. And it’s not like that.”

iv.

They are on a hunt. Well, actually they are at some kind of fair. The spirit they are chasing has shown up in all the towns that the travelling fair has hit in the past few months, so the safest bet is that it’s somehow hunting the place.

For now, they are just walking around in the crowd, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. They have a duffel bag full of salt, shotguns and blades but from the outside they just look like four people that have come out to enjoy the fair on a fine evening.

Dean is in a very good mood. “I can’t believe they still do these things” was his comment on the way there and since they’ve arrived he has been complaining that he can’t stop at none of the games before the job is done. Eileen finds endearing the way he manages to protect that part of him that makes him excited for things like that even with the life he has. It’s not easy to reconcile the image of that man with sparkly eyes with the one she has seen swaying a machete a couple of days before.

“Hey!” he shouts at one point, jogging a few feet ahead of them and waving to get their attention. “Guys, look, it’s Cas!” He stops at one of the stands and grabs a tan teddy bear with a blue tie that is on display. Sam snorts and Dean keeps grinning like it’s the funniest thing ever and points at Castiel who has an expression on his face that seems to say Did we really stop for this? “It’s you!” Dean laughs again “I bet you didn’t know you had a twin, uh?”

“Alright, let’s go,” Sam tries to get them moving again and Dean jogs back up to them and falls in steps with Castiel.

Eileen looks his way in time to see him put his arm around Castiel’s shoulders and pull him close. His lips read: “What? It was adorable. Wanna win it for me later?”

She turns her face to look at Sam and finds him next to her.

“Adorable” she mouths at him. He rolls his eyes. “He just likes to joke”.

It happens again and again. Eileen looks pointedly at Sam when Dean pops into the kitchen to say “Me and Cas are going out. Need anything?” or when they find them engaged in a serious conversation or sharing a drink. She looks at him whenever Dean calls Castiel “Sunshine” and whenever Castiel asks “Where’s Dean?” before he even gets both of his feet in the room.

Sam dismisses every moment, finds every excuse for them. They’ve always been like that. Can’t two friends do it? Does it have to mean something? It’s just the way they are.

Now, Sam is in a sticky diner with his brother who is across from him and can’t seem to sit still. A couple of days before they got two calls in a matter of hours and they’ve gone north while Eileen has gone south. Coincidentally Cas has been contacted about a lead on God’s position so he’s gone too.

So it’s just the two of them again and Dean is tapping on the screen of his phone every two seconds as if he doesn’t trust that it will let him know if he has a new notification.

“Dude, what’s up with you?” snaps Sam when he can’t take anymore of his fidgeting.

“Cas.” he grumbles. “I texted him last night and I got no word back yet. We said we would check in with each other every night, so...” he frowns.

“I’m sure he is fine” Sam says, before thanking the waiter that brings them their food.

Setting down his plate his gaze falls on his own phone, and he is reminded of the last time he texted Eileen and she has taken a long time to reply. How he worried, how he needed to know she was fine. How he feels on his fingertips the need to type something to her right now. How he can’t wait to see her again.

He looks up at Dean who’s taking a bite of his burger.

“What?” he says with his mouth full in response to his staring,

Sam smiles a little. “Nothing.”

Dean takes another bite, still watching him so Sam sighs. “Dean,” he dares, “with Cas. I mean… is there…”

He gets interrupted by Dean’s phone lighting up with an incoming call. His brother drops his burger and picks it up without a care for his greasy hands.

“Finally.” He says, then presses it against his ear: “What did we say, uh? How many times I gotta tell you?” he barks in lieu of Hello.

Sam watches him while he listens to whatever Castiel is saying on the other end. He sees his forehead striped with worried lines relax by the second.

When Dean speaks again his voice is definitely softer. “You are an idiot, but alright. Yeah, we just got here,” the frown disappears and his voice goes quieter still, “Okay. Yeah, I’ll see you at home.” his eyes flicker to Sam and he clears his throat so when he speaks again his tone is back to normal. “Remind me to kick your ass for making me worry.”

Castiel says something back that Sam assumes sounds like You can try because Dean’s eyebrows rise comically. “What? You don’t think I can take you?” he says. “Yeah tough guy, anytime. Wanna bet?”

Sam tunes out. He touches his phone and opens up his conversation with Eileen. He types:

Alright, what do you want me to cook?

I am participating in the spnstayathomechallenge by @bend-me-shape-me @pray4jensen @helianthus21

#spnstayathome #monday 4: bet #deancas #destiel #deancas fanfiction #okay so 1 i really like 'like a bear dean'#2 i really like 'they are basically married deancas'#an unapologetic about it #no actual focus on sam and eileen even if in my head they are a thing in this one #saileen #hey look this one has a title #im making progress #i don't actually believe sam is this oblivious but i needed him to be #ive always wanted to write a 4 times + 1 kind of thing #i tried #deancas ficlet #deancas ficlets #my writing

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i-make-random-song-parodies · 3 years

Text

Historically accurate Hamilton

Hamilton faces a lot of criticism because of its historical inaccuracies, but people seem to forget that it isn’t supposed to be completely accurate. It’s historical fiction, and many details were tweaked to make the musical run more smoothly, make more sense, and generally be easier for an audience to follow. To emphasise my point, I rewrote some of Hamilton to show what it might have been like if it was completely historically accurate (or, parts of it. I’m not rewriting an entire musical).

NB: I am by no means a historical expert. The following is meant for comedy purposes only

For songs where multiple people sing, the speaker will be denoted by the following letters: B – Burr, H – Hamilton, L – Lafayette, J – John Laurens, M – Hercules Mulligan, T – Thomas Jefferson,

Use of the squiggles (~~~~~) means some of the song was skipped

I think that’s everything! Enjoy the musical!!!!!

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

Aaron Burr – Historically accurate

~~~~~

B: You punched the bursar?

A: Nope

~~~~~

Showtime! Showtime! Yo!

J: I’m John Lauren’s, in the place to be! It’d make sense for you to meet all three Of us together, but unfortunately It’s gonna be a while ‘til you finally meet me!

L: Oui oui, mon ami, je m'appelle Lafayette! And just like Laurens, I have not arrived yet I sing from afar and I say “bonsoir” To these strangers at the bar, they do not know moi

M: Brrrah brraaah! I am Hercules Mulligan Talking to myself, cos I don’t have a single friend Wait, I’m already friends with Alex Ham, And this introduction’s pointless, cos he knows who I am! No more people, we need a solution The two of us alone can’t start a revolution!

Well, if it ain't the prodigy of Princeton college! Aaron Burr! Give us a verse, drop some knowledge!

B: Good luck with that, you’re all on your own, Even Hamilton can’t start a revolution alone

M: Burr, the revolution's imminent. What do you stall for?

H: If you stand for nothing Burr, what’ll you fall for?

M: Who? Who are you?

H: ….. Hamilton? Your friend?

M: Oh. Right. Yea.

*awkward pause, then lights go down*

The Story of Tonight – Historically accurate

M: Raise a glass to the two of us

H: Why are there so few of us?

M: Not much is happening tonight

H: I need another drink tonight

M: They will forget about tonight

The Schuyler Siblings:

Angelica, Eliza, John, Philip, Rensselaer, Cornelia, Catherine, and Peggy The Schuyler siblings Angelica, Peggy, Eliza, John, Philip, Rensselaer, Cornelia, Catherine WORK!

The 25 Duel Commandments

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

It’s the 25 duel commandments It’s the 25 duel commandments

Number 1:

Instead of giving a concise set of rules, To explain to the audience the basics about duels We’re gonna list every single commandment and derail The entire musical with unnecessary detail

Number 2:

Lee’s second wasn’t Aaron Burr it was his friend Major Evan Edwards, who you’re never gonna see again As Burr isn’t here, we miss some foreshadowing And Alexander’s death might not be as heart-shattering

Number 3:

Okay folks, this is taking too long We don’t have time for 25 commandments in one song By the time we finish you’ll have stopped paying attention So let’s just finish this, while there’s still some apprehension

Number 24: Look ‘em in the eye, aim no higher Summon all the courage you require Then count

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

Number 25 paces fire!

Cabinet battle #1 – Historically Accurate

W: Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor

T: Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness We fought for these ideals we shouldn’t settle for less But I’m quiet and reserved, and not a fan of fighting So I’m just gonna give you my objections in writing

W: Thank you, Secretary Jefferson Secretary Hamilton, your response

H: Thomas, that was a real nice declaration You speaking up at all is a cause for celebration But obviously, there isn’t that much to discuss Seeing as you didn’t kick up much of a fuss My new financial system is a masterpiece Our debts will be sorted, our independence will increase Tell me if you have any suggestions or notes But I have high hopes that I can rely on your votes

W: Great. Meeting concluded.

Cabinet Battle #2 – Historically Accurate

W: The issue on the table, France is on the verge of war with England And do we provide aid and troops to our French allies Or do we stay out of it, remember My decision on this matter is not subject to congressional approval The only person you have to convince is me Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor, sir

T: I’d really like to help out France But I’m still too shy to make a whole song and dance

W: Thank you Secretary Jefferson. Secretary Hamilton, your response

H: Jefferson’s dumb, let’s not get involved I’m sorry but not every problem can be solved By recklessly running to join the fight We stay out of it. Thank you, and goodnight.

W: Hamilton’s right. Hamilton, draft a statement of neutrality

T: Did you forget Lafayette?

H: Nope

T: Ok then

Burn – Historically Accurate

~~~~~

I’m erasing myself from the narrative Historians have no idea how Eliza reacted So neither will you Sorry, but for historical accuracy this song is through

The world was wide enough – Historically Accurate

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

There are 25 things you need to know There are 25 things you need to know

Number 1:

This duel was a long time coming You’d have known that if we hadn’t skipped most of the foreshadowing

Number 2:

A bunch of secondary characters were there I’d list all their names but you probably don’t care

Number 3:

The election wasn’t the main reason for Our duel. Hamilton, the bastard, son of a whore Tried to undermine me in my gubernatorial race So I told him “if you have something to say, name a time and place”

~~~~~

Number 24:

Look him in the eye aim no higher Summon all the courage you require Then count

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

Number 25 paces fire!

He aims his pistol over my shoulder, and fires. I strike him right between the ribs

~~~~~

BONUS SONG:

Who lives, who dies, who tells your story – Historically Accurate Summary

Let me tell you what I wish I’d known When I was young and dreamed of glory You cannot write A good, historically accurate story

Lin Manuel Miranda I’ll give him this His Hamilton musical is a work of art I couldn’t correct it if I tried And I’ve tried

Lin Manuel Miranda He took your country from knowing nothing about Hamilton to knowing at least some stuff about him I’m happy to admit it He deserves all the credit he gets

A historically inaccurate but still incredible story

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

You still here? Well congrats for making it this far!!! I hope you enjoyed, please (please) leave a comment if you enjoyed it, I survive purely on the validation I receive from others, and feel free to send me requests if you want :)

Credit to where I got all my info:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhrVjfVmAow&t=518s

https://www.tampabay.com/life-culture/2020/07/03/politifact-fact-checking-hamilton-the-musical/

https://screenrant.com/hamilton-historical-inaccuracies-wrong-true-story/

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blossom-hwa · 3 years

Text

fashion major!kevin

ANYWAY THERE WAS LIKE ONE PERSON WHO CALLED FOR A FASHION MAJOR KEVIN SPINOFF OF THE COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON AU I JUST POSTED (linked below) anyway! hope you enjoy, please reblog if you did, and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: kevin x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.5k

genre: fluff, university!au

triggers: cursing

college model!juyeon

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

kevin moon is known on campus for two things: 1. his bright personality literally everyone loves him and if you don’t you’re jealous of him like sorry not sorry i don’t make the rules you know i’m right and 2. his.... unorthodox fashion sense. like eric thought his snake patterned shit was weird as hell?? but there are weirder things in kevin’s closet i swear to you. anyway this unorthodox style is what got him accepted into the fashion program at the university and even though there are a few assholes who stick their noses up at kevin’s work the vast majority of people are cool w his outfits even if they personally wouldn’t wear them and kevin is v well-liked in his major and on campus in general bc he knows everyone and is nice and polite and really a v cool person to be around when he’s not being a fucking idiot

and on campus there are fashion shows a few times every semester to show off the fashion majors’ work, and let’s just say that this university if p well know for its fashion major so some famous people sometimes come along to these events so EVERY TIME a fashion show rolls around the fashion majors get nervous as FUCK and there’s a lot of speculation on who will get noticed and whatever and everyone is secretive about what they’re working on and just. everyone goes fucking haywire and kevin is always v happy when the stress winds down after a show

(no one knows it but kevin has gotten offers from several companies to work with them after he graduates. he hasn’t told anyone except a few friends like juyeon/jacob and his family)

anyway you are also a fashion major who secretly really admires kevin’s stuff?? like you just think he’s so daring and creative and all of his work is absolutely amazing even if it’s a little weird and honestly you don’t even feel overshadowed by his talent and hard work you just feel in awe that you can be in his presence at all. you’re p sure kevin has no idea who you are bc even though you have a lot of the same classes you’re always too shy to sit or work near him bc even though he seems so nice and approachable he’s also just.... god he’s so good

BUT THEN. one of your professors announces that for the next fashion show they’ll be modeling projects that he’s assigning right now. which is weird asf bc usually you’ll all take your best clothing and like fix it or tweak it for the next show, like sometimes people will make something completely from scratch but that’s nerve-wracking and not many people do it unless they’re in a real pinch but it gets even WEIRDER bc this is not a regularly scheduled fashion event?? it’s like a smaller event apparently that they’ve organized just for this project AND THE WEIRDNESS TAKES THE CAKE when your professor says that YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE MODELS. YOU ALL ARE GOING TO PICK SOMEONE IN THE CLASS TO MAKE CLOTHES FOR AND THEY WILL MODEL YOUR OUTFIT

and this SENDS EVERYONE FREAKING THE FUCK OUT??? bc oh god you can’t rely on the models you’ve been using all semester now??? and you have to make flattering clothes for someone you might not even know v well and it’s just. holy fuck holy fuck holy FUCK

meanwhile you already know who you want to create for (/ahem kevin moon/) but you’re also chicken so like??? you’re just sitting in your seat looking over at him but not saying anything until your friend chanhee just pushes you out of your seat in kevin’s direction and is like GO ASK HIM BEFORE YOU LOSE THIS CHANCE and you’re like JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CHANHEE but kevin’s noticed your movement and he’s looking over with a smile on his face and you’re like jfc i can’t do this but chanhee shoves you again and so you kinda smile (you really hope it looks like a smile) and your voice is LITERALLY shaking when you go over and ask if it would be ok to use him as a model for this assignment and he’s like.... oh my god yes

because what YOU don’t know is that kevin has been ogling your designs all year?? like he enjoys his own style and is comfortable in it but he loves your work as in LOVES IT. he thinks your designs are absolutely flawless and original and you combine styles so effortlessly that he just wants to look into your brain when you come up with ideas bc what the fuck?? you may have different styles but kevin knows how to admire art AND YOUR DESIGNS ARE ART.

so you’re reeling a day later bc now you have kevin moon’s number and he has yours and he’s now texting you on when you think you’ll have the first preliminary designs ready and when you can meet up so you can get each other’s measurements and all that and when you eventually meet up your hands are shaking so much that you can barely take his measurements and kevin is screeching in his mind as well bc oh my god you’re going to model his clothes YOU’RE GOING TO MODEL HIS CLOTHES

most people are again being secretive about their designs and even though someone in their class is modeling for them this time so there’s a bit less secrecy they’re still working alone so you get a shock when kevin asks if you want to coordinate your outfits. like work on designs together and maybe make something that matches a little though ofc retaining your own styles and you just shriek when you get the text and poor childhood best friend younghoon spills his coffee (you have been friends since basically birth and there are no romantic feelings whatsoever ok it’s strictly platonic like you watched younghoon vomit after eating too much bread when you were like 10 and he watched you get tangled up in a soccer net when you were 13 there are no romantic feelings stemming from any of that)

needless to say you reply yes yes ye sYES and kevin is grinning so wide on the other end that juyeon wonders if he’s gone slightly insane (which he has but we’re not gonna dwell on that) and both of you show up to the work rooms nervous as all hell (i’m not a fashion major i have no fashion sense i still think t-shirts/leggings are the way to go so idk how any of this works do not sue me) but kevin has a natural ability to defuse any tension in the room so within minutes you’re comfortable and laughing with him and wondering why you were so scared to approach him before and THEN YOU’RE REMINDED WHY when he shows you his design for you because... oh god.... it’s unbelievable. like it has a distinctly kevin feel to it but he’s clearly been paying attention to what you wear and what you design because it’s something you would like to wear and something you even think you could look good in. holy shit

and you just blurt out like kevin what the fuck this is so good did you like stalk my designs or some shit?? and you mean it as a joke ofc but kevin just goes beet red and mumbles something about how he really likes your work and how it’s so sharply elegant but also insanely creative and you’re just. open-mouthed like. dude i’m in love with your work too oh my god i’m gonna cry my fashion idol just said he likes my designs i’m gonna screaM

kevin stops you from screaming though even though he also feels like he’s gonna scream and this is the start of a very productive partnership between the two of you like most of the fashion majors are friendly despite the competition but you and kevin are on a whole other level?? and you start hanging out more and more often even when you’ve finished designing and are actually sewing (you ask him if this part can be secret bc you want to add a few things as a surprise - he ofc says yes and winks and tells you he has things he wants to add too which just makes you want to scream out of excitement)

and it’s a week before fashion show day and you and kevin are finished with putting together the designs and you’re excited as all hell and kevin is literally about to burst from his own skin and you insist that he goes first and when he pulls the outfit from the bag you’re just. in absolute awe. the colors match the design you made, it looks like it’ll fit, and even though it screams kevin moon it also has a distinct vibe from your own fashion style and you just yell KEVIN MOON YOU GENIUS as you snatch it from him and go change

(you don’t know obviously but kevin is blushing like a tomato while waiting for you to finish changing)

it fits almost perfectly, kevin marks a few places to fix and is debating whether or not to compliment you bc??? that sounds like he’s complimenting his own work and that’s egocentric as hell but then you say something like does it look fine and he just blurts out more than fine. you look great

AND YOU’RE SO FLUSTERED THAT YOU ALL BUT THROW YOUR OWN BAG AT KEVIN and are like GO CHANGE

so he takes out the clothes and goes silent and you’re like.... oh my god does he hate it i mean we worked on the designs together and he said he liked it then but what if he changed his mind but then he looks at you and his eyes are sparkling and he’s like y/n this is perfect. literally perfect and he rushes to go get changed and when he comes out your eyes are bugging out of your head bc holy hell you pictured kevin in these clothes obviously since they were made for him but he looks so much better than you ever imagined

and then you blurt out something like holy shit you look beautiful

and kevin blushes again

anyway you both take your measurements and run out and then the day of the fashion show rolls around and both of you are freaking out backstage but the instant you two go on it’s like you both are literal gods bc you feel so confident in each other’s clothing and the crowd can feel it THEY CAN FUCKING FEEL IT and they go nuts when you two walk out!!! and even though it isn’t like a huge major fashion show, it’s just for this one project that your professors cooked up, you and kevin are both beaming like the sun when it’s over despite the fact that it wasn’t an important event bc holy shit you two had fun and everyone’s complimenting your clothing and it’s great it’s just great

finally all the chaos is over and the clothes have been put away and the makeup removed and you and kevin are now standing outside the venue in a kind of stunned silence that all of it’s over. it’s all over. and then you suddenly thrust out the clothes you made that kevin wore and tell him to keep it. it’s a present. and kevin takes it but he also forces you to take the outfit he made for you. and then there’s silence again

but if there’s anything you’ve gained over the past few weeks it’s a bit of courage. courage that let you talk to kevin, courage that let you design clothes for him, courage that let you become friends (and maybe something more) with him. you’ve also learned that kevin is a massive dork and a lovely human being and you’d really love to at least stay in contact so in that the moment you smile and say ‘if i asked you on a date, would you wear that outfit?’

poor kevin looks like he’s about to have a fucking aneurysm and you start to lose confidence but then he’s nodding like there’s no tomorrow like yes ye sYE S OH MY GOD YE S and omg you now have a boyfriend whom you like very very much and kevin has a partner whom he likes very very much

you two may not be a pda couple but you ARE that couple that matches every outfit they wear, you make jewelry and accessories for each other and also make each other clothes every so often. everyone is jealous of your combined fashion sense bc even though the outfits might look outrageous, you two both manage to pull them off and look fabulous at it, but also they can’t even be that jealous bc you two are the sweetest couple and are absolutely lovely

both of you do wear the outfits you made for that show on your first date which is to like a musical or smth bc theatre kid kevin is something you can pry out of my cold dead hands and everyone’s staring but you two are in your own little world and it’s amazing

kevin admits at one point that he was afraid to ask you out bc he thought younghoon was your boyfriend and you just snort and tell him everything stupid younghoon’s done and by the end younghoon is done with you, kevin is about to vomit he’s laughing so hard, and you are smirking like no tomorrow

for the end of year fashion show you and kevin fix up and accessorize the outfits you two made for the show that brought you two together and there is absolutely no surprise that several different fashion companies scout both of you (and a couple modeling agencies too since you and kevin decided to model your own clothing again - younghoon whines that you’ve replaced him but you shut him up with chocolate bread)

kevin’s a sucker for romance (you CANNOT tell me this isn't true) so your first kiss is on the roof of the fashion building at sunset when kevin does the cheesy thing where he says you look more beautiful the view and you almost slap him but you’re laughing so hard and kevin’s cackling and somehow it turns into a kiss

you are a dork and kevin is even more of a dork and it just works out beautifully bc you’re so absolutely in love that it makes people fake vomit from the sides (looking at chanhee right here) but it’s also really sweet in that you two trust each other completely and would do absolutely anything for the other except murder. kevin made that v clear but really only bc blood would stain his clothing and he doesn’t need that. you agree wholeheartedly (younghoon/juyeon are looking from the sides like what the fuck is this couple do they need help and you two are like just go away and let us be the weird couple we are ok). the conversation ends in a v soft v sweet kiss and just. ik i said it with juyeon but kevin moon is also best bf ever ok you cannot convince me otherwise.

and that’s how it goes :)

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for this weird-ass couple)

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tosikoarts · 4 years

Text

SFW Alphabet | Koito Otonoshin

WAP reference? In my SFW alphabet? More likely than you think. You can check tosikowrites tag for more. Warning: there’s a lot under the cut.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

First of all, everybody in the radius of two kilometers knows that Koito has fallen in love. He isn’t loud about it but it is written all over his smug face 24/7: when he starts daydreaming about them (which he does a lot), faint blush covers swarthy cheeks and his eyes fixate at the farthest point on the horizon. Tsukishima has to call three times before the Second Lieutenant finally notices his presence.

Okay, maybe, he is a little louder than was previously stated. Koito hasn’t had a lot of love experience so for him it is a bumpy road of trials and errors. Considering his behavior in front of First Lieutenant Tsurumi, easy to imagine how he awkwardly stutters in the crush’s presence, switching between native Satsuma dialect and classical Japanese. As they grow closer, nervousness dies down, and Koito finally talks like normal people do! Oh, he is such a show-off. However, he is a sweetheart as well so his talk comes across as a nice kid trying to be overly cool. Makes tons of compliments but can’t take any himself. No, he does. No, he doesn’t. Koito is a mess that thinks about small compliments for weeks. You say he looks nice with hair parted down the middle and this young man never goes back to his previous haircut.

It is serious when Koito starts rapturously venting to Tsukishima about them. At first, Otonoshin starts asking subtle questions not to seem too inexperienced. Then he asks for advice on how to dress, what to give as a present, how to act in general. If there are any problems in the relationship, Koito will 100% craw to his Sergeant for help.

One of the first and generally the main way of affection for Koito is giving pricy presents. Even when he is trying not to flex on wealth, it comes across as disguised bragging. Gifts given are always unique and of quality, so there is no reason to be indignant.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

His best friend has to be either someone from childhood or the Imperial Japanese Army Academy. Koito won’t befriend anyone in the actual military (except one exhausted Sergeant) since he has a fear of becoming a career trampoline.

Koito squanders the money on entertainment with no remorse and no shame. If he gets a new Western-style suit, his best friend will receive one in the mail too. On nights out Koito generously pays for the food and drinks, saying that they will pay next time but the next time never actually comes. There is some money in his bank account, why not spend it?

His best friend automatically becomes a part of his family and friend of Tsukishima. Koito doesn’t ask, he confidently states it. If they for some reason do not want to be close with the listed contingent, Koito faces cognitive dissonance and, notwithstanding, tries to improve relations between them.

Koito is not a stranger to gossiping and petty drama. He doesn’t get involved ever since his family has a status to maintain, but he knows what skeletons are hidden in the neighbors’ bedroom closet. His best friend hears the phrase “You won’t believe what I know” more often than “First Lieutenant is so amazing”. By the way, yes, Koito is still that fangirl and they have to deal with it.

Eh, you can’t rely on him in troubles, though. He will unapologetically push the blame on another person to stay an innocent good boy that was accidentally dragged in the mess, but he will make amends after the noise dies down.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He is so touchy-touchy-lovey-dowey, oh my god, just like you would expect from a touched-starved young man. Koito has no problems with PDA, he enjoys gazes fixed on him, so it is not uncommon to see him with the partner on the lap. Tsukishima learned to turn a blind eye and do some extra work to give the Second Lieutenant more time with his loved one. Koito prefers spooning to any other position so he can press them against his chest and fall asleep in their warmth. Sweetheart cradle is the second-best option but, honestly, Koito is down to anything that includes any of his limbs resting on their body.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Too young (especially in the mental sphere) to think about settling down. He is 20 years old or something, right? Koito doesn’t even know what he wants, what his principles are, what his life guidelines are, so no, there’s no way he thinks about settling down any time soon. Perhaps in 3-5-10 years, after his father knocks some sense into the guy, Koito will come to the conclusion that it's time for a new chapter in his life but definitely not now. Oh, also, he is useless in the household. He can’t cook, he can’t clean (and he can’t tell how he got this ring).

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

That doesn’t go well at all. Pangs of conscience do not give him the chance to pretend and delay the moment for too long but Koito can’t just say “yeah, that’s it” and walk away as nothing happened either. He chooses the most feckless option – cruelly distancing himself and making them lose interest in the relationship. Once the decision is made, there’s no going back. Koito's interest in his military career rises significantly and, suddenly, he is always busy disciplining juniors, taking additional trips wherever First Lieutenant sends him, surprising everybody with an overwhelming passion for small arms… Yeah, I’d say that boy sus.

If the time spent apart doesn’t kill their fire, Koito will go full mean mode and start acting like a literal jerk. It’s small comments that hurt the most: he finds them too loud or too quiet, too touchy or too cold, yadda yadda. Unreasonable ostentatious attacks of jealousy? Hell yes. His goal is to get on their nerves even if it means still small voice will whisper what a terrible person he is. Regrets the childish behavior months later but won’t admit it no matter what. Fights the desire to crawl back to them for a year or so.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

It's too early to talk about it. Again, he is standing on the doorstep of real-life and significant changes like getting married and starting a family are not even close to his vision of the future. Koito hesitates much and overthinks more so there is no point in waiting for a proposal in the first two years of a relationship. There are vulnerable moments when he doubts his own suitability for marriage. They may lead either to deep conversations with psychological aspects (remember the gnawing feeling of being a family failure?) or to abrupt distancing but in both cases, Koito pulls himself together and remembers: if such an amazing person chose him among another than he must be special.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

One of the few soldiers who were left damaged but not broken, so gentleness does not just smolder, but burns in Koito's heart. When it comes to being gentle, he is a physical manifestation of fondness: it beams from his eyes, radiates from his touch, and hides in his choice of the words. Someone may find it inconsistent, but brutality outside the battlefield, in any type of relationship, seems unnecessary to him as well. In a physical sense, Koito is quite remarkable in his raring, so his actions can come off a little sloppy, rushed, and aggressive.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Exciting hugs! Koito trembles from the top of his head to the tips of the toes when he gets a chance to hug his loved one even if it is the tenth time this day. Most often, he starts with a fast welcome kiss on the cheek before pulling them into the tight embrace: it is heartwarming but never the same, which makes a person wanting to come back for another dose of unconditional love. Koito is down to hug at any time of the day, of the week, of the month and, honestly, he sees it as one of the most gentle and innocent expressions of affection.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Blurts it out by accident after half of a year of stale dating. The delightful feeling of sentiment overwhelmed him to the point of blinding adoration so Koito couldn’t stop himself from an unexpected confession. With head resting on his hands and cheek muscles twitching from the continuous wide silly smiling, Koito just blurted out what came to his mind at the moment, realizing what that was a few seconds later. To avoid embarrassment at all costs, he played dumb even though everything was written on his face in bright red color. Whatever. Conscious confession isn’t that easy. He is full of love but translating it in an understandable voiced statement is freaking work.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Whether he is a witness to his loved one being a flirt or his loved being hit on, Koito is l i v i d. In the first case scenario, his ego is hurt so badly, he storms from the room to avoid throwing a tantrum right there on the spot. Any attempts to speak with him after what happened result in loud indisputable “don’t touch me” and silent treatment for a good week or so. The mere thought of being replaceable terrifies poor Koito, it forces him into unhealthy coping like acting demonstratively independent and detached to show them he can do it solo. We’ll pretend it is not a desperate tactic to punish them, ok ok. When his love is being hit on, Koito does not even assess the situation. He rushes to the partner to save the day, steps between them and another person, laughs it off, and asks his rival if there’s any problem. Usually, confrontation is pretty effective against unwelcome suitors. Thank god, because Koito wouldn’t want to get physical anyway.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Awwww, have you ever imagined yourself as a teacher? Too bad because as much as passionate he is, Koito is hopeless. Literally. Lack of experience affects his (non-existing) technique. Couldn’t figure out he had to open his lips for a French kiss, leave alone any abstruse tricks, and knowledge of more sensitive spots to pay attention to. All preferences in the form of instructions have to be said aloud: Koito may act like he doesn’t need them, he is so cool and mature, and only losers need to be guided, but in reality, the opposite is true. Thanks to the above-mentioned features, his favorite kisses vary from pecks on the cheek to thigh and hand kisses but they never include kisses on the lips. If the partner is the same height or taller, he prefers to be kissed on the temple and top of his head. In other cases, doesn’t have any preferences.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

There are times when you have to do what you have absolutely no idea how to do, and it perfectly describes Koito’s relationships with kids. Somehow, they are on the same level but at different poles: he would rather cry because of how annoying capricious baby is than find any way to calm them down. Changing a dirty diaper is a challenge like no other, and going to the continent for a little girl protected by the company of bloodthirsty, armed to the teeth veterans sounds a lot easier (and not so disgusting) than babysitting a single baby. Older children are fine if they know how to keep themselves occupied and out of the sight. On his watch, there is always a small chance that the house will catch fire or the most active child will break their arm. Requires obligatory supervision of a more experienced babysitter.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

No one is leaving the bed in the morning. Sleeping in is inevitable. Do not plan anything for the first part of the day because if Koito chooses to devote the weekends to the lovely company of his partner that means he will squeeze every single second spent together out of it. It doesn’t matter what they do in the bed, like cuddling, talking, doing something spicy (youtube censorship much?) as long as they remain under a warm blanket. Koito giggles a lot catching their soft gaze on his lips, tickles them when silence falls. If the couple stays in the family house, servants are ordered to prepare the tastiest breakfast with gourmet chai tea as well as to find possible entertainment for the day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

The end of the day is the last opportunity to let off steam before getting into a slower pace, and, finally, going to bed. To no surprise, Koito prefers activities aimed at the work of muscles and not of brains. Nothing too extreme though. Horseback riding is a common pastime if they are not in the mood for anything else. In other cases, Koito offers to play cricket in the summertime and go ice-skating in winter but his all-time favorite is swimming in sun-warmed waters of a crystal clear river. Despite the cold underwater currents winding around the ankles, Koito can swim in circles for hours without letting his loved one go ashore. If they are up for a challenge, competitions for who can hold their breath longer and swim to the other side faster are always a choice.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As soon as they let Koito know that they are interested (doesn’t matter in him personally or in him speaking), the dam breaks. He is ready to talk about anything, from how the day was to the meaning of life, the role of the monarchy in the future of Japan, and what influence Heinojou’s death had on him. So to say, Koito sees no problem in opening up early in the relationship. There are no forbidden topics in his mind except, maybe, what is so below the beltline: starting any intimate conversation reduces Koito to a red stammering (in Satsuma dialect of course) mess. It gets better with time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Chill enough? Not in the Tsukishima’s sense of “I have seen too much shit in my life so I am no longer surprised by anything and I expect nothing as well” but in a cheery and optimistic outlook. If he breaks a plate or cup, it is a reason to buy a new one, not to throw a tantrum on how Japan no longer makes quality dishes. How boring life would be without nuisances, huh? However, Koito immediately blows off when it comes to serious matters like life-threatening situations. Overall? Absolute ray of sunshine, anger is unnecessary, keep calm and take it easy.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Remembers nothing but anniversaries’ dates. Seriously. Don’t expect Koito to compliment your eyes’ color, he doesn’t remember it. Favorite food or place? Did you mention them at all? Hm. Blame it on the charm of the moment that hypnotized Koito and sent him into oblivion. He doesn't bother himself with writing down any facts and details and is visibly surprised if the partner expresses frustration with his forgetfulness.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Perhaps it will be a surprise but the most memorable moment for Koito would be doing “bad stuff” together. As for a person, who has not yet emerged from cheerful adolescence, drinking, smoking cigarettes, and, who would have thought, opium together leaves a weird feeling of agitation and gaiety. Hiding with the partner in crime, bottle covered under the lieutenant's coat as if he is some kind of thief, is something Koito won’t ever get used to. He drinks and mumbles gibberish then pulls his loved one closer for some sloppy smooches that never work out: someone keeps missing lips and laughing like a goofball after every failure.

Smoking opium, which happened exactly one time, was the complete opposite of previous experience. They ended up in semi-darkness in a distant room with artfully painted paraphernalia and one carved pipe that was passed back and forth for the whole night. An intoxicating sense of calm and emptiness hit Koito in the head as he was watching his loved one fusing with the thin lilac smoke: a situation they were in was too bizarre to be real but magical too so he had no right to complain. Memories of that night stayed with him for the whole life but Koito never had a desire to go for a smoke again.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

For the sake of justice, Koito has a protective side, but the carefree character often overshadows it. He meets dangerous situations in conditions where one large group of opponents confront another so everyone covers each other's back. When Koito has to fight one on one he can fully rely on the own strength and reactions but when there is someone to protect things get messy really fast.

Koito is ready to cover them with his body to save from a whistling bullet but this thought comes from a place of “I can’t come up with a plan what do I do what do I do” and not from rational thinking or self-devotion in the name of love. Nah, boy just no thoughts, head empty but HEART FULL.

Would want to be protected as well? He has no problem being viewed as one who needs help. Won’t want them to act recklessly though, exchanging their life for his isn’t fair a bit.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Youthful maximalism and all-encompassing love push Koito to new feats every day: he racks his head over which place to choose for a date, should he buy them expensive things or no because what if they look at him as at tasteless braggart, maybe, he should have not brought a bouquet today, maybe, he is too annoying… At the beginning of the relationship, he is excessively enthusiastic and scarred to mess everything at the same time. Often this mixture leads to an awkward situation but with some guidance, Koito calms down and begins to feel a partner on an intuitive level. Anniversaries will still be celebrated on a grand scale though. He has literally no chill when told to make that one day special. Lacks consistency when it comes to everyday tasks: either puts all of his effort in building a stool or does nothing the whole day.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

The bloated ego doesn’t seem a big problem at first but it keeps popping up now and then in the conversation and overall behavior. Again, it is not even close to megalomaniac extend but can be pretty annoying when Koito keeps putting himself in every story and boasting with every minor achievement.

Not the most independent, kinda clingy guy that needs somebody that he can always rely on. We have already seen Tsukishima's fate and this is what awaits for the person who decides to tie the knot with him.

LOUD. SO LOUD. DEAFENING! If you think Koito would lower the voice down or, for the frick’s sake, stop screeching but no! Excited? Yell! Scarred? Yell! Surprised? Yell! I can see him screaming louder than his newborn baby shocking midwives in the maternity hospital. Pray to God that it is not inherited.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not to call him obsessed, but Koito takes good care of himself and tries to be attractive in the eyes of others. He may spend a little bit too much time staring in the mirror during the mourning routine, brushing hair locks just the exact way he wants them to be. Several creams are lying in the drawer of his nightstand and Koito replenishes its stock with enviable regularity. Of course, he looks sharp: when circumstances do not oblige Second Lieutenant to strict dress code, he pulls off well-tailored looks, both traditional Japanese and Westernized ones. Just imagine him dressed to kill, wearing an all-leather long car coat with skintight gloves. Koito is too powerful in his handsomeness.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Has zero knowledge of how to handle break-up and that pretty much describes what a hell ride it will be for Koito. Obviously, the violent reaction is accompanied by complete confusion, he is at a loss for words and can’t find the right ones even in the Satsuma dialect. Well, if he had a gut feeling that they are planning on leaving later or sooner, Koito would lash out at them in the worst way possible: every wrongdoing suddenly transforms into hidden signs confirming that he was not loved at all, never ever. He makes a loud scene with eyes brimming, screams whatever nonsense comes to mind to stop them from speaking further. No explanation can overpower his growing resentment. If break-up comes up out of a blue, Koito remains silent, listening to whatever they have to say. None of the words makes any sense to him and there is nothing he can tell or ask. Nothing makes sense. He sighs while rubbing his temples, eyes shut tight to separate from the world as much as possible, and turn down the white noise coming out of their mouth. Koito leaves without saying a word with a plan to avoid them in the next few weeks.

In the case of their death, Koito is in no hurry at breakneck speed to take revenge but that definitely doesn’t mean he is indifferent. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and even such a hothead as angered Koito is can wait for a better moment to strike.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Since Koito joined the army, celebrations turned from long-awaited days into in minor verbal congratulations aaaand that’s all. The atmosphere is just not the same. In the beginning, he tried to keep head up but general disinterest killed his vibes and left him bitter.

The only person who does not mind supporting the Second Lieutenant is Tsukishima: he gladly watches Koito happily screaming as he launches a colorful kite into the air, joins playing hanetsuki and sugoroku on Japanese New Year, once he even gave Koito pochibukuro as a joke. Otonoshin was merry and embarrassed at the same time since, you know, pochibukuro is given to kids, not adult men who shoot people for a living.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Mysterious silent people aren’t the company Koito can tolerate. He hadn’t had a good experience with Ogata back in the 7th Division and doesn’t see himself with anyone hiding behind a duplicitous smile.

Scolding Koito for his frivolity won’t do anything good, quite the contrary, it will force him into acting withdrawn in their presence. Attempts to change Koito are pointless since action generates opposition: the more he is told to be a serious man, the more infantile he will become.

By the way, it is important for Koito to see a class in his surrounding. He himself carries an elusive aesthetic so lack of taste and sense of beauty is a bummer. Good thing they can be acquired just like other skills.

Comparison. Do not compare Koito to anyone, ever. His father probably did it a lot back in the days when talking about Heinojou’s success so Otonoshin became allergic to any “you are just like/you act like/you look like/wish you were like” comments.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

The most normal person in the 7th Division when it comes to sleeping. There’s literally nothing to describe: Koito falls asleep fast, he doesn’t have any problems with falling asleep or waking up, doesn’t use any medication, doesn’t have any evening rituals. Dreams are a rarity. Loves to sleep with someone by the side, so he can hug a person from behind with both arm and leg, and if the place next to him is cold and empty, Koito may hug a pillow or rolled blanket.

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy imagine #golden kamuy headcanon #koito otonoshin #tosikowrites

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lovelivingmydreams · 3 years

Text

The blame game

@sanderssides-secretsanta for @averykedavra

Rating: PG

Pairings: whatever you want. Any actions can be read as platonic or romantic I’m not telling you how to enjoy this fic. Aka I couldn't pic.

Hurt comfort

Triggers: hospital, injury, pain, burns, coma, mention of abduction

Summary: A couple of years ago people disappeared. And then months later they started showing up again. Some escaping, some being freed. No one knew what exactly went on in those months. All evidence was destroyed before answers could be found and the victims were unwilling to testify. Until one group, the first to break free, showed up when a building collapsed and used incredible abilities to save the day. They spoke out about what had happened, and swore themselves to serve and protect the public interest.

Time went on and now the victims that all had gained some type of power are accepted into society. The team is still doing what they can to save others and protect each other. This story takes place during what should've been a routine mission.

“We have to finish up. Under current circumstances we have 3.4 minutes until the building collapses.”

“I did a sweep, I didn’t hear anyone calling out and no heartbeats. Pat can you feel anyone?”

“No kiddo, it seems all clear on my end too.”

“Marvelous. Jan how is our cover holding up?”

“I’m fine Roman. I can hold it for a few more minutes.”

“Remus do you have yourself together?”

“All bits and pieces accounted for Bro! Though Jan can always check later to make sure.”

“And that’s enough. I’m taking you first.”

“Virgin! So forward!”

“If you upset him Remus, I swear to god!”

“Relax RoRo…”

…

“I’m back. Come on popstar. They are getting closer, we have to hurry.”

“Maybe take Lo first… If I’m too far I can’t…”

“It’s just for a minute Padre.”

The connection fell away. Indicating Virgil had indeed brought Patton out of range.

“Two more minutes,” Logan stated as he joined Janus at the street side of the shop they were hiding in.

“I am sooo glad the looters came to cause extra chaos. I was just thinking that evacuating the citizens from earthquake shaken buildings wasn’t enough of a challenge,” Janus grumbled annoyed.

“We shall deal with them once we are all outside,” Roman assured him as he too joined them.

“Next passenger please,” Virgil announced as he came to a halt right behind Roman, making him jump.

“Stop doing that!” he demanded.

“Only if you stop being funny when I do,” he teased while picking up Logan.

“This never seizes to be mildly embarrassing,” Logan huffed displeased. Being carried out bridal style by their youngest member was a little awkward for everyone. Well except for Remus. But he wasn’t bothered by anything. “Do you prefer a piggy back ride?” Virgil teased.

The circumstances that led to the formation of their team had been far from pleasant. Virgil especially still had nightmares and flashbacks. But they all enjoyed the power sets they were given. Though if they could choose they’d do without the trauma. The only thing they wouldn’t give up for that was each other.

“And you all secretly like being held,” Virgil insisted before taking off. Roman and Janus exchanged a glance wondering if Virgil was just teasing or if he actually could tell that they appreciated the rare opportunity to have Virgil actually welcome physical closeness.

They all were pretty close after everything. And any awkwardness about being emotionally vulnerable around one another had gone out the window long ago. Still Virgil felt the need to act tough to make them not worry about him. It didn't work, but he still tried.

“I better get going. I’m not fond of Logan’s ticking clock,” Roman stated.

“Yeah, I’ll give us a little more cover. V only needs 10 seconds to get me out anyway.” Jan didn’t want to risk the rioters seeing them now. There was no telling what they’d do.

Roman nodded and started to sprint to the exit.

Janus turned away, but then his heart stopped when he heard a crashing sound and a pained outcry.

“Roman!” Virgil gasped behind him.

“I’m fine, get J. I’ll-” Roman cut himself off with a loud curse.

“You hurt your ankle,” Virgil concluded. Janus looked back and watched as the young hero gathered Roman in his arms. “J I’ll be back for you soon okay?” He didn’t wait for an answer.

Janus considered just dropping the illusion of an empty trashed store with faulty wiring and make his way to the back to meet Virgil halfway. But the rioters were hot on their heels now. He couldn’t risk anyone following them. Not that anyone would be able to once Virgil had him. But if anyone was inside when the building gave out…

Suddenly something flew through a window. A flaming bottle? Janus could see it heading to an isle with cleaning products. He realized what was about to happen at the same time that he saw Virgil return and hesitate upon detecting something moving in his peripheral.

Janus acted without thinking. He dropped the illusion and tackled Virgil to the ground.

Janus moved to cover Virgil’s body with his own. There was an infinite fraction of a second of blinding pain. He never even registered the sound of the explosion. Just pain and then darkness.

He heard the murmuring and the zooming and beeping of machines. He felt disoriented. What happened…?

“Come on J. Please wake up,” Patton? He sounded like he’d been crying.

“Patton I… I don’t think…” Logan’s voice. Not quite as steady and certain as he normally sounded.

“Don’t finish that sentence! He has to wake up! I don’t know what we’re supposed to do if he… If he…” Patton started sobbing, the sounds muffled by something. That wasn’t right. Janus tried to open his eyes but it was hard.

“I can’t… We are supposed to stick together… and he… And then Virgil…”

Virgil? Suddenly Janus remembered. No. Virgil had to be fine. He made sure of that right?

Janus forced his eyes open and found Patton clinging to Logan’s frame on his right. Remus sitting uncharacteristically quiet and still behind them.

He blinked a few times. Something was off. His sight… And why did his face feel weird… Everything felt weird.

“Hi,” was all he was able to force out of his throat.

Remus perked up, Patton and Logan nearly jumped at the unexpected sound. All of them had bloodshot eyes. He’d expected as much from Patton. He was in a hospital and something was going on with Virgil. But it took a lot for Logan and Remus to cry.

“Janus,” Logan breathed as they all gathered at his bedside. Logan grabbed his hand to squeeze it. Janus squeezed back and felt Logan relax instantly.

“Wha…” Janus tried, hoping he managed to bring across the pleading tone he intended despite the pain in his throat keeping him from saying much.

“You’ve been unconscious for the past month. There were several operations and you have only been breathing on your own for the past 21 hours and 28 minutes.” That explained the pain in his throat.

“Pat? Eyes…” he asked. He was burned. He was no idiot. He just wanted to know how bad and Patton could show him.

“I don’t know Jan…” Patton bit his lip looking at Logan for help. Their academic friend nodded in agreement.

“There is… Someone like us on staff. We were to alert her once you’d awoken so she could heal you up some more. It is probably best not to distress you until she has,” Logan urged.

So it was really bad. “Call…” he managed. Maybe then he would be able to talk better afterwards.

“Very well…” Logan pressed a button.

“Re… V…” Remus didn’t do sugarcoating. He would tell him no matter how bad…

“Roman is watching the Emo. We’ll all go to see them together soon,” Remus murmured. Now Janus was getting really worried. What was going on? Remus was never this… restrained.

“Remus. We have all repetitively told you, you did not delay Virgil in any way,” Logan insisted sternly.

“Yeah Rem. None of us think you did anything wrong that day. And I’m sure Jan and V would agree.”

Wait, why hadn't. Virgil told him to stop moping yet? Why wasn’t he here? Why did he need someone to watch over him?

“I should have sat still. I knew we had little time left. Instead I made Virgil slow his step to make sure he didn't drop me.”

“We all delayed him in our own way Remus. It was a collection of circumstances. If anything, I should have taken the violent nature of the rioters into account and adjusted my timeframe accordingly.

We all relied too much on my prediction and…”

“Don’t you start that again. I could have tried to get a feel of the crowd and told you. Then you might've known there was a risk too consider!” Patton protested.

“Patton you couldn’t have possibly…”

“It’s my job Lo! I should look after all of you guys. I’m the one who keeps us happy and together and now everyone is sad and… and…” Patton was shaking with sobs again. Only now did Janus remember that when Patton was tired (physically or emotionally) his empathic ability played up without him wanting to. His telepathic link on the other became much harder to establish under such circumstances. Which meant that while Patton couldn’t find comfort in linking with the others, his usual coping tool for anything bad going on, he felt his own feelings on top of everyone else’s unfiltered.

Logan seemed to realize this too. “Patton, I’m sorry. I should have realized. You need not burden yourself with our guilt as well as your own. Please, please forgive me this oversight?” he asked with a comforting hand on Patton’s shoulder, the other still holding Janus’.

Patton gave a small tired smile. “It’s not your fault Lo… You guys don’t have to repress your own feelings just for me. We are all a bit stressed out and…”

“Pardon me?” Everyone immediately looked to the door. Well everyone except Janus who couldn’t turn his head very well. But he got there.

His left eye still was not right but he could discern a figure at the door. Hopefully this person was the one who could get him out of this bed so he could finally get answers.

“Ah. Doctor Laffeye. Thank you for coming. As you can see Janus has woken up. Could you…?”

The figure came closer and seemed to look down at Janus.

“Hello. Elena Lafeye, she/her… Your eye isn’t doing so well it seems.” She sounded kind and disappointed by her observation. That wasn't good.

“No See…” he croaked.

“And your troath probably feels pretty painful too. I’m going to do my best to help the healing process along. But I find that I get the best result in several sessions rather than one go. You just tell me when it starts to feel painful. That might indicate that I am rushing some stitches or something like that. Sometimes the body just protests being forced to heal. It is important that you are honest, or it’ll be worse in the end okay?”

Janus felt frustrated, what was the point of a healing ability if it couldn't get him back to normal right away? But, if he could get well enough to get out of the room to wherever Roman and Virgil were... Then that was enough right?

“Kay,” he promised.

“Good. I have told this to your friends, but I’ll repeat it to you. Thank you. For speaking out about it all. You guys make life much easier for the rest of us. Thank you.”

Janus thought she sounded sincere, but he could not see her face clearly enough to be sure.

“No prob…” No, that was as far as he got.

“Top to bottom then,” she said. It was not a question.

Janus expected Remus to laugh or make a joke, but he didn’t and that was terrifying. Did he really feel that responsible? Or did he look so terible that even Remus couldn't make light of the situation?

“Here we go.”

It started with a light tingling sensation in his left eye. It became warm and then it was kind of like a static… “Stop,” he croaked as he forcibly shut his eye when the first sting occurred.

When he opened his eye though he could see improvement. It wasn’t as sharp as he was used to. But he no longer felt like he was half blind.

“Wow, it looks a lot better!” Patton exclaimed, probably trying to assure Janus. Sadly Janus could only think about how Patton didn't say he was back to normal.

“I am going to focus on your face now,” the doctor warned and the tingling started again.

“Stop,” Janus rasped again when it started to feel like a web of glowing hot wires was put against his skin.

“Okay. I’ll move on to your throat. This shouldn’t hurt as much considering most of the trauma from the accident has healed on it’s own. Any damage left now is from the breathing and feeding tube. This is just to make you more comfortable with speaking.”

This time the doctor stopped before Janus got even a little uncomfortable.

“How’s that?” she asked.

“Well…” That didn’t hurt. “Better. Thank you.”

“Good. Now… Let’s see if we can get you well enough to leave the bed alright? I’m sure you’d like to check in on your other friends as well.”

Yes! Please, let me see them. “Okay.”

The doctor took in a deep breath and the warm sensation kept traveling up and down the left side of his body. From his fingertips to his shoulder, through his torso, down his leg to his toes and back.

Up and down, over and over again.

“S… Stop please,” he gasped when the warmth started to burn.

“Okay… how does that feel? Can you try and sit up?”

Janus blinked. Right, he’d stayed put so far. To be fair even moving his head had been exhausting a few minutes ago.

“Um… Yeah,” he murmured as he carefully moved his arms. His left stung a bit, but it was manageable. He’d deal with it if it meant they’d go to see Virgil.

“Carefull Jan!” Patton pleads as he frantically flayed his hands around wanting to push him down but scared to touch.

“It’s alright sir. I think he’s got it,” the doctor stated soothingly. Once Janus sat up the doctor nodded satisfied and left with the promise of checking on them again in an hour.

“Patton. Will you show me now?” Janus asked as soon as they were left alone.

“I…”

“Please. I need to know,” he pleaded. He could feel something wasn’t right with his body. He was too much of a coward to simply look down though. He told himself he wanted to see the full picture. That he wanted to see what the public would see when he inevitably would be swarmed by reporters. But honestly, he hoped that if he looked through Patton's eyes he wouldn't hate what he’d see as much.

Patton once again turned to the others. Remus squirmed, avoiding his eyes. Logan sighed and squeezed Patton’s shoulder, encouraging him to turn to him.

"He will only get more stressed by not knowing. We can hardly keep him away from reflective surfaces. Best he sees it when he has a chance to mentally prepare." With that Logan's steady gaze directed itself towards Janus.

"You were burned on the entire left side of your body. There were many skin transplants performed to help save your life. Are you really ready to see yourself?"

Janus wasn't sure if he was. But he knew he had to see.

He gave them a firm nod.

Patton sighed resigned to the decision "Ok... 3, 2... 1."

Janus struggled not to scream out in horror. The man he saw trough Patton's eyes wasn't him. The left side of his body was an awful patchwork. It couldn't be. And this was after accelerated healing?

"Is... is this why Roman and Virgil aren't here?" he asked with a shaking voice. He wasn't sure how he'd feel if the answer was yes.

"No! No of course not!" Paton exclaimed. It should have been a relief. But if they weren't avoiding him...

"Then... why? What happened?"

Silence filled the room.

"Patton was linked with the rest of us," Remus started, his voice unnervingly... normal.

"When the explosion went of... you know how we sometimes link up subconsciously. We all blanked for a second due to the pain." So he'd sent out an SOS...

And everyone had felt what did this to him...

“But Roman… He shot in action. By the time we realized you two were in danger he was already back at the building. He told us he found you two buried under some rubble. You were on top of Virgil who wasn’t burned at all, but he was unconscious. Roman managed to wake him up though and… Well we finally found out what happens when ‘survival’,” their nickname for Virgil’s power set, “Is pushed to the limit. Virgil told Roman to pick you up and next thing Roman knew you were all back with us and Virgil collapsed from overexertion.”

Patton and Logan nodded. “The doctors say he pushed his muscles so hard that they broke a few bones. There were hairline fractures all over. And… He still hasn’t woken up,” Patton explained sadly.

“Roman aggravated his injury going after you two, but he couldn't be made to care about his own recovery. He has refused to leave Virgil's side unless he knew one of us took his place. We’ve been taking turns to let him freshen up and visit you. Well Patton and Remus have. Apparently my care was unsatisfactory. Who knows what is going on in his head,” Logan added. Clearly still a little hurt by whatever had led to that decision, and frustrated by what must have been countless fruitless attempts to get Roman to listen to the doctors.

Janus could easily imagine why their theaterloving friend might be acting that way. Roman had declared himself to be their leader. Despite not being the oldest or most experienced in anything. It had been his idea to save people thought. And they all understood that he felt responsible for putting them on this path.

His guilt must run deep.

“I have to go see them,” Janus stated. This time everyone nodded without even a second’s hesitation.

“You won’t be able to walk on your own just yet. Even without your injuries, your muscles haven’t been used in a month. They will have to rebuild strength through physical therapy,” Logan informed him while Patton pulled up a wheelchair.

“I have used the past month to learn how to help you get settled without hurting you. I assumed you would prefer that over a nurse,” he added.

Janus smirked. “Oh no, I was totally hoping some random person would be yanking my body around.”

The other chuckled. “We missed you Jan,” Patton smiled warmly.

And Janus could feel how sincere he was. He could only really smile with his right side, so even when he tried to do it sincerely it probably looked like a smirk. So he gave his friends more of the humor they’d been missing. “I’d say I missed you to. But… I didn’t.”

He could feel the chuckle vibrate trough Logan’s chest as he carefully maneuvered him into the wheelchair.

Patton put himself in charge of steering him while Remus and Logan walked on either side of him, like they were escorting someone powerful or famous. And technically, Janus was both. They all were. They just tended to forget that around one another.

But it became rather apparent when they left the room and there were two armed police officers stationed in front of the door.

“We are going to see Instinct now. You may try to stop us, but it’ll only waste 13minutes and 29 seconds of all of our time before we convince you to let us trough. At the most.” Logan stated. He said it so firmly that anyone who didn’t know him would assume he knew this as a fact thanks to his predictive reasoning. But Janus, and the others surely too, could tell that he was lying. Meaning the guards might be able to stand their ground if they chose to do so.

But as no one bet against Logan’s predictions the guards stepped aside and let them trough.

There were guards in front of the room next to them too. These two however stepped aside right away.

Remus opened the door and they could hear Roman’s voice.

“I’ll let you pick the movies for a month. I won’t ever complain about your loud music again. I’ll admit I’m a big idiot! You can even have that in writing. Just please… Please V… I can’t… We can’t lose you.”

Janus’ heart ached. Their friends had gone through hell the past month.

Patton rolled Janus inside and he felt tears jump to his eyes. Well at least his tear ducts worked.

Roman was holding Virgil’s limp hand in his own. His head resting in the crook of his arm on the bed as he gazed up at their friend’s sleeping face. He was sitting in what looked like a very uncomfortable chair and had yet to realize he had company. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair was a mess.

Janus and Roman were easily the vainest in the group. They knew this and accepted this about themselves. They often bonded over fashion and the sorts.

Logan came closest, though he did not care for fashion or anything like that. He just carefully maintained a professional appearance at all times.

The others didn’t seem to live in the same world when it came to caring for ones appearance. Except for Remus he was from a different universe.

And yet here both theatric, normally impeccably groomed men were. Absolute messes.

“You look terrible,” Janus drawled casually. Because there is no right way to draw attention to your presence in these circumstances.

Roman looked up, his eyes wide, a small ghost of a smile, a tiny spark in his eyes as he took him in.

Well at least his new look didn’t gross him out. Then again, he had apparently seen him look worse.

“I mean, so do I. But I was in a coma for a month. What is your excuse?”

Now the smile did break free, though the spark turned into silent tears. Janus would take it.

He could see Roman was struggling with the desire to come over and check on him and the need to stay close to Virgil.

Luckily Patton rode Janus over to be right in front of Roman so he wouldn’t have to choose.

He turned in his seat, switching Virgil’s hand from his right to his left so he could place his now freed hand gently on the scarred side of Janus’ face. Janus gasped in awe. Leave it to Roman to know, to understand, that Janus needed someone to treat his ruined half as if nothing had changed.

Roman angled Janus’ head and his own so that their foreheads touched.

“Welcome back,” he whispered.

“Good to be back,” Janus responded, feeling an immense weight fall of his chest.

Roman sat back up again, now holding Janus’ hand instead of his face.

“I hope, though I do not deserve such a gift, that you can find it in yourself to forgive me.”

And there it was. “For forgetting how to use a brush?” Janus scoffed.

Roman’s eyes flashed in annoyance. “This is no laughing matter! If I hadn’t tripped you and Virgil would have both been out of the building when that bomb went off! If anyone had ended up in the hospital it would have been me and rightfully so! I have no right to be left with nothing but a fractured ankle! It even healed over by now. Virgil however won’t be fully better for months! Even if he wakes up! And you… You could have died! We were told to prepare for… And the doctors don’t know why Virgil hasn’t woken up yet… and… and… I should’ve protected you both I…” Roman was full on sobbing now.

“Kiddo, no…” Patton whispered weakly.

“Don’t be stupid Romano. Anyone else would’ve waited for the V train and ended up caught in the blast as well or something,” Remus argued.

“Indeed. And there is always a chance that Virgil would have stopped to pick you up anyway and took a moment to tease you before taking you away. You know he likes carrying ‘the prince’ like a princess. You are his favorite to ‘whisk away’. There are an infinite amount of things that still could have gone wrong,” Logan reasoned earnestly.

Roman looked around at them in surprise. “But… I…” Then he stopped himself and allowed himself a chuckle.

“I guess… You all have some good points,” he sighed before letting go of Janus’ hand and turning back towards the bed. Switching his hands once more before dragging his left trough his hair and rubbing his eyes. “Now if only…”

“Tell me someone took a picture of the prince as a pauper.”

When they heard that everyone shot up in attention, except for Janus who didn’t have the strength to do more much more than hold his position right now. But he too turned his head to the bed where Virgil was blinking his eyes as he tried to take everyone in.

“You guys look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he chuckled. Then his eyes landed on Janus and widened.

Janus prepared himself. Last time Virgil saw him he didn’t even have so much as a freckle to tarnish his complexion. Now…

“J? Are you… Does it hurt?” he asked tentatively.

Well… No point in lying. “I’ve felt better,” but he didn’t have to be too honest either.

“Well… For what it’s worth, I think you look wicked. And anyone who has a problem is going to have to deal with me… umph!”

Roman had had enough of sitting around and was embracing Virgil.

“You are awake!” He exclaimed in relieve.

“Okay… Um… How long…?”

“A month,” Logan supplied as he came to stand at Virgil’s other side and ran his hand affectionately trough his hair. “You have a few broken bones that have yet to fully heal and a lot of physical therapy ahead, but now that you are awake, rest assured that you will make a full recovery.”

Virgil nodded in understanding.

“Princey? Can you let go of me now?” he asked.

“I don’t think any of us are ready for that kiddo,” Patton stated trough his happy tears as he sat down on Logan’s side of the bed and placed a hand on Virgil’s knee.

“Yeah! I finally have my creep and horror buddy back!” Remus exclaimed with glee, finally back to normal now that everyone was awake and together it seemed.

“Virgil, I… I thought….” Roman gasped as sobs threatened to overtake him yet again.

“Relax Princey. You don’t get rid of me that easily…” Virgil chuckled. Then he looked at Janus with some sadness in his eyes.

“Thanks. For saving me. I wish it hadn’t been needed though.”

Janus met Virgil’s eyes earnestly. “Of course Virgil. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

“And you have nothing to be sorry over okay kiddo? You did nothing wrong!” Patton insisted.

“Indeed...” Logan started probably about to do the same rational breakdown of Virgil’s actions and possible consequences of other decisions on his part as he’d done for everyone else but himself.

“I know,” Virgil chuckled with a roll of his eyes. Surprising everyone. If there was one member of their group they could assume would find a way to blame himself for everything wrong with the world, it was Virgil.

“What? You all have been helping me with my negative thinking remember? Hindsight 20/20 in this case. There is no use in dwelling on what happened if in the moment you acted with the right intentions and to the best of your ability. No point in playing the blame game,” he droned off the last part with a fond smile to Logan, who stared at him for a moment and then let out a single laugh. Followed by another , and another.

Patton joined in with giggles. Remus started cackling and Roman finally had to let Virgil go in order to laugh fully with tears in his eyes.

Janus had to settle for a warm smile on half his face and a slight shaking of his shoulders.

“Um… What did I say?” Virgil frowned.

“Nothing. It’s just that we have all been playing the blame game ourselves without even realizing,” Janus informed Virgil. “And now you, out of everyone, have put things in perspective again.

We are all here. And everything else, we can deal with.”

Virgil smiled at that. “Yeah… Yeah we can.”

Many challenges were still ahead. But that didn’t matter. They were all together again and all was right in the world.

Virgil=Instinct

Survival: he can choose to heighten his senses and increase his physical strength and speed to super human levels. His tolerance for pain is also heightened. Usually needs a nap and food after missions. Occasionally he'll discover he has injuries once he deactivates his power.

Roman= Prince

Equip: Basically full metal alchemist. If he can imagine the object clearly he can make it using molecules in the world around him. But for, by example, a working radio he'd have to know how all the parts fit together and work. So he has only a few of these complex objects in his arsenal.

Remus=Ragdoll

Asemble: Mr potato head from toy story. He can disassemble himself like a doll and put himself together again. If he pulls of a hand he can still use said hand as if it were attached. He lost his right little toe once and since then they all make sure Remus is in one piece before leaving.

Patton=Father

Connect: Can establish a telepathic bond with others and feel their emotions. The better he knows you the stronger both powers work. The team often uses this for group discussions, Patton shares his empathic powers with the rest through telepathy and that usually calms everyone right down. Hard to be mad when you feel how loved you are by the one your fighting with. Everyone agrees that if Patton wasn’t the cinnamon bun he is he'd make for a master manipulator.

As mentioned in the fic, his empathic abilities flare up when he is tired while his telepathy becomes harder to handle. He can connect briefly to one person at a time under those conditions.

Logan=MasterMind

Predictive reasoning: he can basically tell the future. Short term predictions are more accurate than long term. You can ask him the most likely outcome if you do action a as opposed to action b by example. He is still learning to take emotions into account but Patton helps him with that.

Janus=Fantasm

Mirage: he can create illusions. They work better when sight is limited by darkness fog or limited thinking of the spectator due to high emotions or the like. It does require more focus the more complex the vision is. He also can't move if he wants to keep it up. He usually takes care of distractions or hiding them.

#sanders sides #ts sides #sanderssidessecretsanta #fic #hurt comfort #roman sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders

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ceyrann · 3 years

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Fly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrYmRsRFejE

(I wrote this when I was listening to this song. It’s in Mandarin by Joey Yung, titled My Pride, and although this song was released like.. 18 years ago, it’s still very beautiful. So yeah.)

“See me fly, I’m proud to fly up high.”

I stepped out onto the stage to receive the glorified empty toilet roll. Umm… It’s actually supposed to be my graduation certificate but it’s empty cuz the university decided it was too much trouble to scroll everything in and mark them so… Yeah, we received our certificates separately. But yeah. I graduated. That was one of the highest achievements I’ve marked.

I almost thought it was impossible to graduate on time as I failed a prerequisite subject during my first semester, subsequently affecting my results and I was “frozen” to take certain classes. And it resulted in me having two subjects behind my coursemates. I thought I’d need to extend another year but my lecturers and Head of Department were kind enough to specially allocate a class for me to take so that I’d be able to graduate on time.

I remembered asking my mom on that day, “Are you proud of me?” She said yes, and that I’ve always made her proud.

“I couldn’t just rely on being carried up high.” （不能一直依赖，别人给我拥戴）

Learning to pick up my own responsibilities was, and still is one of the greatest challenges I’ve faced. But luckily for me, I’ve had people around me. Family, extended families, friends, even church friends. They’ve seen me grow, and they’ve helped me throughout my various phases of my life.

I still remember one of the gifts they gave me when I entered university were pendrives and some notebooks, which were very useful and practical for a student. And when I got a job, they gave me a planner, congratulating me for stepping into another phase, and telling me to be prepared for the working world.

The support they’ve given me helped me through the various times. And now, I’ve grown up. I can’t have them carrying me anymore. It’s now my turn to carry others, to be a support to those who are younger than me, who are lost as how I’ve been.

“Believe me I can fly, I’m singing in the sky.”

The first overseas trip I’ve had with my friend had me literally singing in the sky. My mom did help me with part of the expenses, but it also included me saving up every month and putting my bonus aside for this trip. It was not easy, but still I managed it. It was the most memorable experience, where we met our favourite people, had good food, had lovely conversations with strangers, and also saw hope for a lot of things.

The moment I had my first property that’s liable under my name also had me flying. Not sure whether I flew up high, or I flew on the road (aka speeding) but eh, it’s my own car. I finally had my own car. And I probably wasn’t singing, I was screeching and yelling and jamming to my music. Good time, 10/10 will recommend it.

“Even when it ain’t bright, I can and still will try.” （就算风雨覆盖，我也不怕重来）

The sky won’t be bright all the time, and when darkness arrives, I have to learn how to accept and cope with it. The moon, the stars, the love others have for me, and the love I have for others and myself have helped me through these tough times.

Everyday is surely a learning journey, where I learn to be kinder to myself, to validate myself, to love myself a lil bit more. And with that, I learn to get on my feet again and try again. It’s pretty much a challenge for someone who has never tried their best, but it’s alright.

Just try.

And smile.

Then fly.

#write ups #ceyrann #ceyrann writes

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emy-loves-you · 4 years

Text

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 2

Breakfast and Disney

Virgil decides to text Roman again. They have a fun argument over Disney movies.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and sex, vulgar language, and openly trans character

Chapter 1 | Masterlist | Chapter 3

Virgil woke up to a splitting headache. He immediately screwed his eyes shut, hands going to grip his hair. The lights were too bright, his throat was too dry, and he’s pretty sure there’s someone sleeping next to him. What the hell happened?

The memories hit him like a freight train. Arriving late to the party, meeting Mr. Sanders (“Call me Thomas,” he had said, flashing his perfect smile with his perfect teeth and perfect lips), and signing him up as a potential producer. Technically they had enough money and popularity to keep their band afloat without a producer, but to get such an influential man on their team was a dream come true. They got back to Janus’ house at around 2 AM, where they promptly got wasted. Virgil could still taste whatever expensive shit Janus had grabbed from the cellar. Speaking of Janus...

Virgil slowly opened his eyes, nearly hissing at the light shining through the giant windows. He looked over from his spot on the floor (how did he get there?) and found Janus and Remus cuddling together, a bottle of wine nestled between them. Remus was drooling, and Virgil noticed multiple hickeys along Janus’ throat. Virgil smiled as he got up. His two friends and essentially brothers had an odd relationship, but Virgil respected it. It was obvious that they were in love, but they didn’t want to put a label on it yet. They had offered for Virgil to join them, but he had declined. While Virgil did care for the other two deeply, he didn’t share the same spark that they did.

Virgil eventually found his way to the bathroom, quickly losing whatever remained in his stomach. He sat on the cold tile, waiting for the nausea to pass. He hadn’t drank that much in a long time. He should ask Janus if he can bring one of those bottles home. He’ll probably bitch for a few days (Janus liked to use alcohol as an excuse for Virgil to come over) but he’ll get over it.

Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz

Virgil grabbed his phone out of his jacket pocket (why was he still wearing his jacket?) and turned off his 10 AM alarm. He almost always woke up before his alarm went off, but his anxiety made him use the alarm anyways. He quickly checked for any new messages, and noticed his rather lackluster response to Roman helping him yesterday. He helped me get through an anxiety attack, and all I had to say was ‘thank you?’ The least I could do is apologize. Before his hungover brain could remind him of how stupid of an idea that was, he had already sent a text.

V- (10:02 AM) Hey, I just wanted to apologize for last night. You ended up being right, my friend was just running late. I ended up having a pretty good time, all things considered. Thanks for helping me through that attack. It meant a lot to me. I was still a little disoriented last night so I wasn’t wanting to type much. Again, thank you for helping a stranger. You're a good guy, Princey.

Before Virgil could second-guess himself, he locked his phone and got up. He quickly took some painkillers and went to find some form of a healthy breakfast. Virgil had always been self-conscious of how he looked, so he tended to eat light and work out when possible. He ended up finding enough eggs and veggies to make a few omelets. Virgil decided to make his last, knowing that Remus and Janus would be awake before the first one was finished. Sure enough, as soon as the first omelet was ready to be flipped, Remus was skipping into the kitchen, dragging a disgruntled Janus behind him. How that man had any energy this early in the morning with a hangover was a mystery to Virgil. He quickly served Remus his omelet, who proceeded to pour an obscene amount of salt onto it. Virgil cringed as he turned to make Janus’ omelet. He tuned out their conversation until he heard his name.

“Well I think Virgil should sleep with him-”

Virgil whipped around so fast that he almost burned himself on the stove. “WHAT?!?”

Remus scoffed, twirling his fork between his fingers. “While Tomathy did seem pretty convinced last night, a little bit of extra persuasion never hurt anybody. While I would normally volunteer, I don’t think that man has ever seen a vagina, much less wants to fuck one. And he seemed to be afraid of Janny over here, so you’re it, pumpkin.”

Virgil blushed, turning back to omelet making. Janus sighed, “Remus, darling, I don’t believe that Mr. Sanders requires any more... incentive. However, if Virgil decided to pursue that type of relationship with him... I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Virgil let out a squeak, his face even redder as he gave Janus his food. Remus laughed. “What’s the matter, Veevee? Cat got your dick? Even if you don’t sleep with Mr. Business, you should still get around more! Sex is good for the soul.”

Virgil flipped him off, resulting in another chuckle. He turned back to make his own omelet. Sure, Virgil hadn’t been in a relationship since, well, ever, but that wasn’t his fault! He just hadn’t found the right person yet, that’s all! Besides, Virgil didn’t do one night stands. The idea of sleeping with a stranger left a knot in his stomach.

By the time Virgil sat down with his omelet, Remus was already done. He started bouncing around ideas for new songs, with Virgil or Janus occasionally adding their own ideas.

Bzzz

Virgil glanced at his phone, seeing that he had a response from Roman. He went to unlock his phone.

“Who’s that?”

Virgil jumped, staring face-to-face with Janus. He could see where Janus’ question was coming from, since before now Virgil only ever texted Janus and Remus. “Just a random guy that I accidentally texted last night. I didn’t really apologize well last night, so I texted him again earlier today.” Janus and Remus both smirked. "I swear to god, whatever you two are thinking, it's wrong."

Janus tilted his head, looking like an innocent little angel (innocent my ass). "Whatever would we be thinking about, Virgil?" He turned to look at Remus. "Is this why Virgil found the idea of sleeping with Mr. Sanders so scandalous?" Virgil groaned, hoping that his meal would distract him from the cackling idiots in front of him.

By the time Virgil (finally) got home, wine tucked under one arm, he had almost forgotten about Roman's text. He quickly checked it, almost snorting at what he saw.

R-(10:35 AM) What can I say except you're welcome! Seriously, it was no problem. I'm happy that you had a good time at the party. It was a pleasure to help, storm cloud.

Virgil was halfway through typing a response before he stopped. Technically he could leave the text as it is and move on like nothing happened. On the other hand, Roman seemed like a fun guy to talk to. Surely he would tell Virgil if he wanted to stop talking to him, right? He ended up sending the text anyways, wanting to see if Roman would respond.

V- (11:45 AM) Really, you're gonna start your text with a Moana reference? You really are a Disney Prince, aren't ya Princey? And what's with the 'storm cloud' anyway?

Virgil expected a lot of things. Roman could block his number. He could poke fun at Virgil's anxiety attack from last night. He could take forever to respond, just to ask Virgil to never text him again. What Virgil didn't expect, however, was for an immediate, yet passionate, response.

R- (11:46 AM) DISNEY IS A BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE THAT WILL ALWAYS HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART.

R- (11:46 AM) Sorry, I got a little emotional I REALLY like Disney. And the reason I called you 'storm cloud' is because you didn't give me another name to call you, storm cloud. And I will take the Disney prince jab as a complement.

Virgil laughed, already typing out a response. He probably shouldn't be giving out his name to a near stranger, but he didn't think it would matter much. Virgil Storm was a nobody, a reject from the foster system. Sure, he was secretly singer/songwriter Anxiety, but Roman didn't need to know that.

V- (11:47 AM) Sorry, the name's Virgil, he/him pronouns. And I didn't mean it as a jab, Disney's got a place in my heart too.

R- (11:48 AM) REALLY!?!? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE? DISNEY CLASSICS OR PIXAR? FAVORITE DISNEY PRINCESS? THESE ARE ALL VERY IMPORTANT

V- (11:48 AM) Um, okay. Nightmare Before Christmas, Classics, and does Elsa count as a Disney Princess?

R- (11:49 AM) Nope. Elsa is QUEEN. WE WILL NOT SLANDER SUCH A GODDESS!

V- (11:49 AM) Geez, let it go, Princey

R- (11:49 AM) N(ice) one

V- (11:49 AM) Then I've gotta go with Cinderella. She decided to make one slightly bad decision last her entire life, as opposed to other princesses making a decision that immediately through their lives away. Though that is what makes the movie interesting.

R- (11:50 AM) What do you mean?

V- (11:50 AM) Disney is known for being pure and innocent, but it contains tons of sinister undertones.

R- (11:50 AM) Not all of them!

V- (11:50 AM) Let's play a game then, we each pick a movie and describe the message that we believe the audience was supposed to receive.

R- (11:51 AM) Alrighty then, I'll go first. Cinderella: Believe in your dreams and, one day, they will come true.

V- (11:51 AM) Sure, just literally wait around your entire life, subjecting yourself to the cruelty of your ungrateful ignorant family members, until some MAGICAL fairy comes along to save you. Don't take action yourself. Not to mention man can't memorize the face of a woman they've been dancing around with for hours, they have to rely on the shoe, ergo men are idiots.

R- (11:52 AM) He was a very busy prince! He had a lot on his mind.

V- (11:52 AM) Fine, what do you think about Snow White?

R- (11:52 AM) Okay. So this time the message is to NOT do what the Princess did: Don't accept random fruit from strangers.

V- (11:53 AM) The bigger message is to just run away from your problems and become a housekeeper for 7 men. Not to mention a Prince comes out of nowhere and plants a kiss on a seemingly sleeping girl? I guess consent isn't really that important?

R- (11:54 AM) He thought she was DEAD! It was a farewell kiss!

R- (11:54 AM) Okay, how about Peter Pan. Don't let your childhood spirit ever die.

V- (11:55 AM) Also it's totally fine to believe a random stranger when they tell you to jump out a window after they've broken into your house. But I guess that's how your whole being would die.

R- (11:55 AM) COME ON! Can you REALLY look down so harshly on these movies?!?

V- (11:55 AM) I still like them! There's just some darker messages that we don't first see.

R- (11:56 AM) Bambi

V- (11:56 AM) Man is dangerous

R- (11:56 AM) Pocahontas

V- (11:56 AM) White man is dangerous

R- (11:56 AM) SLEEPING BEAUTY

V- (11:56 AM) Well now we’re back to the lack of consent with sleeping women

R- (11:56 AM) IT WAS TO LIFT A CURSE!!

V- (11:57 AM) Am I wrong?

R- (11:58 AM) …No, I suppose not. I guess there are darker aspects that I did not take into account. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean that those movies are intending on teaching such… immoral lessons.

V- (11:58 AM) And I never said that they were. That’s just my interpretation of them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

When 5 minutes passed with no response, Virgil deemed it the end of that conversation. He went to go take a shower (he still smelt like alcohol and vomit) and hopefully get some ideas for his next song. Maybe something about interpretations?

By the time Virgil was out of the shower and fully dressed, there was a new message on his phone. He went to check it and was surprised by what he saw.

R- (12:12 PM) Virgil, in the span of just 30 minutes, you have given me one of the most invigorating debates I have ever gone through. I would really like to have another one in the future. Would you like to join a group chat with me and my friends, Patton and Logan? I have a feeling that you would get along quite nicely. You are not obligated under any means, but I can see that we have the potential to be great friends. What d’ya say, storm cloud?

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