#I'm in so much fucking pain

[burythecarnival]

does anyone perhaps want to help me get breakfast & a few groceries today? for those who don't know, i had a REALLY bad fall several days ago & in addition to other injuries, i got a concussion that still hurts SO fucking badly 🥺 it is also making it so i can't be on my feet too much because i get v lightheaded. because of this, it is hard to be up & about cooking meals. nothing is expected but anything is appreciated 💜

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luv, cuddles & cauldron bubbles, the ghost queen

#ghost queen #i'm in so much fucking pain #disabled sw community #my tum is rumbling #if you can't donate reblogs still help!

[elphantasmo]

I'm going to carve what's left of my reproductive system out with a spoon and be done with it completely

I should have had them take the fucking ovaries too. Fuck.

#chatty cassie #I'm in so much fucking pain

[daincrediblegg]

nothing more painful in the entire world than having a piece of classical music that you've listened to a fucking million times stuck in your head but not remembering who wrote it so you literally can't find it

#I'm in so much fucking pain #I CAN HEAR IT SO CLEARLY IN MY HEAD BUT MY USUAL PLAYLISTS TURN UP NOTHING #going to fucking shit myself

[reddiamondyeet]

God I fucking knew it ficking shiulder I just got shots in that and someohe runs DIRECTLY into it like a fucking assholte GOD I HATE PEOPLE

#red rants #I'M IN SO MUCH FUCKING PAIN

[mormorando]

just got home and Screamt

#like that was ear shattering #i'm in so much fucking pain #if i take one more painkiller i'll od i think #mine

[dimensionalspades]

Any time I write up a verse for Pas it's literally just me finding the most dubious org in the canon and getting them associated with it. Overwatch it's Vishkar and Talon, Valorant is Kingdom (and theirself, tbh), resident evil it's pretty much any of the shady corps, star trek it's the myriad corrupt admirals, dishonored is probably city watch and Daud and nobility in general. Enby wrongs all around

#.more of a joker than the ace ; ooc. #I'm in so much fucking pain #i need to find someone that will yeet my ute

[kabeddon]

They are DONE!!! LOOK AT THEM AAA

They will now be there under my monitor (totally dont mind the shamos chilling behind them...)

#tf2 #lil pootis #medimedes #...and a shamos from mh:w #anyway listen medimedes gave me so much trouble the entire time I'm making him #not only he was a massive pain in the ass that didnt let me form him easily #after his paintjob the spray paint fucked me over #took me three repaints to get him to top condition #the good news is the spray paint gives him this... fuzzy texture #so while pootis is smooth asf medimedes feel fuzzy ish in comparison! #the... glasses was also a challenge but nothing a wire extracted from a ribbon cant fix!

[invinciblerodent]

"I'll make a save here and try breaking up with Astarion, just to see the dialogue- I could see him get kinda nasty about it, but I honestly don't know what to expect so---"

...............

.......

....

#-ke me back but that didn't fit #astarion #squirrel plays bg3 #when i tell you i reloaded so fucking fast..... #curse my curiosity #jesus fucking christ he's so RESIGNED #it's such an “ah; there it is. yeah can't say I'm surprised but it was nice while it lasted” #it sounds a bit mean but i fully thought he'd get at least a bit nasty about it #(the breakup also doesn't seem to have any options that nets disapproval???) #(which is just..... sad) #(it'd be so much less painful if he could at least hate you for it you know) #(this boy's self-esteem is -as we say in my country- beneath the miner frog's asscheeks) #(and now i need to go spend some time kneeling on the floor sobbing please do excuse me)

[oimoi-op]

I'm done with this show for real this time I swear it's over

#bcs spoilers #i'm in so much fucking pain

[northern-borealis]

.

#i'm in so much fucking pain #i had a cold over the weekend and so now i have a persistent cough #which makes it almost impossible to sleep unless i take like five different types of medicine #and they all take like a half hour to kick in so i'm just hoping i'll be able to get any more sleep tonight #but i've managed to cough my throat raw in the last hour because i was stupid #and didn't want to try to take the medicine #plus i fell off the fucking stoop earlier and hit my back on a big ass rock #i'm not like seriously injured but it still fucking hurts #venting in the tags #vent #personal vent #vent post

[princema-k]

siblings will be siblings

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #michael afton #mike schmidt #elizabeth afton #evan afton #crying child #circus baby #golden freddy #fredbear #my art #sister location #no i'm not insane i prommy #(lying) #ANYWAYS I MADE AN AU. AS I USUALY DO #there will be pain. #but bc mike suffers So Fucking Much already it's gonna be mostly sweet stuff

[lasshoe]

Say isn't it strange? Isn't it strange? I am still me You are still you In the same place

#tedlassoedit #tedlassogif #ted lasso #rebecca welton #ted x rebecca #tedbecca #jason sudeikis #hannah waddingham #when the thought of this song and them now popped into my head....... #i was in so much pain i literally had to lay down like #devastating :) #anyways. they never said no so i take it to mean that they did actually fuck :) #that's my story and i'm sticking to it #animlorelaioriginal

[lovestory]

i loved that taylor was very touched by the pictures of marjorie being held up and she was very very cute about it with her little speech but at the end of the day...it could have easily gone the other way? the people who did that just did it hoping they could make viral content out of it, without even stopping to consider why it crossed a boundary...just very weird vibes around it all, people are so desensitized

[heartoferebor]

[Image description in Alt]

"Morale has fallen." - An extremely normal Venom/Ocelot interaction for @sir-yeehaw-paws ◕‿◕ (also: Hi, MGS nation, I have officially arrived)

#mgsedit #metal gear solid edit #MGSV #Revolver Ocelot #Venom Snake #Vocelot #Metal Gear Solid #Venom x Ocelot #Phantom Pain #MGSV: TPP #mgsvedit #idk what the common tags in this fandom are yet pls forgive #ANYWAY THIS SCENE HAS LITERALLY ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY #the way they cannot express intimacy without violence. #the implicit trust #the loving way in which ocelot wraps his fingers around that knife. #THAT FUCKING DIALOGUE. 'Be gentle' HELLO????? #THE WAY THEY SOMEHOW ANIMATED IT LIKE VENOM JUST CAME WHEN OCELOT PULLED OUT HWAT IS THIS GAME #also thank u Nate for listening to my increasingly unhinged rambles #and hi MGS fandom. I'm sorry there'll be so much more where this came from #just wait until November when I am free of all the big obligations. you have no idea what's come at u you lmao rip sorry #my edit

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

#the unwanted guest #the unwanted guest spoilers #the locked tomb #ianthe tridentarius #augustine the first #pyrrha dve #palamedes sextus #this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate) #the locked tomb meta #the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though. #of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world #utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there #and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea #when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter #it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level' #she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him #because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing #to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after #IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival #ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god #gaining nothing at the cost of everything

[utilitycaster]

I've gotten a couple replies of "and that's terrifying" on this post about the more stable members of Bells Hells, and, to be honest, hate that, so let's talk about it.

There's a couple reasons. The first that I still don't know who the fuck thought the Issylra half of the party split would be Team Levelheaded and not Team Abandonment Issues, because, well, it's the latter. The second is that there's been a near constant undercurrent from quite early in the campaign of "oh Orym...he's going to break...he's a powder keg" and while he's decidedly not a powder keg, we did get him finally breaking a bit, and suddenly everyone's like "HORRIFYING that the guy I kept claiming was uniquely angsty is now having a harder time with the party split than the other characters whose equally tragic backstories I've consistently ignored, diminished, and dismissed."

All three of the Bells Hells characters in Team Issylra have issues related to loneliness and being left behind, which is a common thread through the party, but notably, Fearne, FCG, and Chetney being more stable should not be surprising nor scary. Resilience isn't tied to whether or not you're somewhat chaotic, or have mechanically-induced loss of control, and that's what we're talking about here. The reason why Team Issylra is having a rough time of it - and specifically why Laudna and Orym are falling apart whereas Ashton is doing comparatively well - is because they've been constantly pretending things are okay. Chetney, meanwhile, genuinely does think the worst thing that happened to him fucking rules, and has the age and perspective and sheer survival instincts to pull through; FCG has, within the story, had to face some horrifying realizations about himself and so has some tools for this kind of situation; and Fearne is to be honest still learning that consequences are a thing that happens, but she has dealt with a few profound disappointments and is sitting with them - she openly admitted she's not terribly impressed by her parents.

On the other hand, I think Orym has worked through the earlier stages of grief, to be sure, but he's put a brave face on over it and tried to look at the bright side. Which isn't the worst idea, but it means when the things he's built that idea of a bright side upon - Keyleth's infallibility, his relationships within the Crown Keepers - are nowhere to be found, he doesn't have anything to take hold of. He adjusted to one devastating change by clinging to the constants, and now that many of the constants are gone too, he has no mechanism to process the change in their absence.

And this is Laudna's whole deal, right? I do in fact agree that her initial death was still the worst thing that's happened to her so far, but that doesn't mean she can't still be incredibly upset by major events. It's comforting to know you've survived worse, but it doesn't necessarily help you actually get through a slightly less terrible (but still pretty terrible) situation. She says she can't stop compartmentalizing or she'll cry - but like, she'd probably feel better if she'd just spent the second watch crying. Like Orym, Laudna's developed this idea that she can will things into being okay, and in the end, she can't. Leaning into the "Today SUCKS" attitude would, honestly, help her, and I'm hoping she does so.

Ashton meanwhile doesn't have healthy coping mechanisms, but they do have coping mechanisms that work in this situation (namely, drinking and hitting things). He also, more importantly, has no investment in pretending things are okay. Ashton thinks the world is full of utter bullshit that will fuck you over, and the point is to get through it, and sure, it's a very cynical mindset, but there's a reason why toxic positivity is, well, toxic.

As a sidebar, I also think that Ashton has, fascinatingly and despite their drunken talk with Laudna on the skyship, put their abandonment issues into perspective. Ashton is able to handle the current situation because, logically, they were teleported to a random location beyond their control and with no capacity to contact other people, so it's reasonable to assume the other half of the party is in the same position. No one abandoned anyone. To quote Ashton themself, actually, from episode 25, "Sometimes shit's just fucked up, and the only thing you can do because you didn't do anything fucking wrong, is get the fuck back up and do the exact same thing all over again knowing that there was nothing to learn." On the other hand, the fact that Milo saved Ashton makes that particular situation worse. If Ashton had been left to die in the street and a random uninvolved stranger picked him up? Then you can at least imagine the Nobodies had to leave, or couldn't pick them up for whatever reason, or even perished themselves. The fact that Milo was able to make this choice means the Nobodies also had the ability to make a choice, and the choice was to leave them behind, and that's what stings, and that's the unique loneliness, and that's why this situation isn't comparable.

So anyway, in summary, it's unsurprising the two people who have handled grief and tragedy by trying to quietly (in Orym's case) and not-so-quietly (in Laudna's) smooth it over are finding themselves completely unable to do so and barely holding together, whereas the people who allow themselves to be upset or, frankly, just go apeshit, are doing much better.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #bells hells #Ashton (and Deni$e) are honestly reminding me of the Yasha pit fight in C2 rn #like was that a healthy coping mechanism no but Yasha honestly did feel much better after it and her recovery trajectory went up from there #and ashton has the other dimension of like. he has chronic pain. it's unfair and serves no purpose. shit happens. #it's very they should invent a way out that isn't through but unfortunately they didn't so fuck it i'm smashing the wall #i mean barbarian rage as catharsis isn't a new idea by any stretch but. the thing about a reckless attack is it feels good as hell