#I've technically changed jobs over the past five years but it's all been within the same company and project

[marvel-ously-blog]

Hidden Voicemails

Tom Holland x Reader

Author: Grae

Word Count: 1844   |   Warnings: mentions of abuse, language, angst

Summary: Spoiler: he’s not a prince charming.

A/N: So I've been having some really shitty writer's block but I finally have this out! So that's a victory. This is kind of inspired by the American Shameless between a scene with Lip and Mandy that I cried at honestly. 

You were sitting on the steps of the electronic store as always. Your foot stomping to whatever music was playing off the phone your friend had covered by a solo cup to magnify the sound. You looked beautiful to him in the ugly orange street light, even in the shitty neon signs light. Different, he thought, but beautiful. Even with the neighborhood that smelled of vomit, cigarettes, and alcohol, you still managed to radiate.

You noticed him immediately, the corner of her mouth tugging itself up into that smirk. If he wasn’t already smiling he was now.

“Hey, what’re you doing here movie star?” You asked there was a fake ease to your voice. It had been a while after Tom got cast as Spider-man since you had seen him. The urge to run off the steps and go hug him was beat down as you held your cup tighter in your lap. He looked better, his muscles more pronounced and he even seemed to stand with more confidence. In this setting he looked so out of place, like he was cut out and pasted.

“Well, I had to come visit my best girl.”

Your heart seemed to skip a beat but not in the way that all the grown-ups told you it would when you loved someone. It seemed to skip right off the edge with a cinder block tied to it and sink right down.

“And I just happened to be in the neighborhood,” he said with a smile. You couldn’t tell which one was more of a falsehood, his reason or his smile. “Now where’s this big scary boyfriend that Haz told me about,” he asked, looking around with a small chuckle.

“Poker night,” you said shortly, taking another sip of what needed to be stronger liquid courage. Your friends were eyeing Tom like a piece of meat. You had known them before you moved and they had been filled into the shit hole you were left in after he was cast.

Two years of serious dating went down the drain when he left. The whole long distance thing went to shambles within a couple weeks. He could only call you for five minutes every couple days or when he was finally allowed to go to the house they gave him, but even then he was too tired to talk to you. After seeing the rumors of him and Zendaya you called it off. He tried for a couple days after you broke up with him, calling and texting constantly but you just seemed forced yourself to block his number.

That’s when Alex managed to pop up. He had been your knight in shining armor until you moved in with him. You knew it was a downsize from your apartment in London and you even had to switch jobs and eventually quit because he could take care of you just fine. But he was the best thing in your life and you needed a rock to keep you on the ground. He never hit you so it wasn’t technically abuse and you fucked up a lot so why did his language matter.

There was always that little voice telling you that it was wrong, but he loved you and just wanted to grow with you. As of late, he thought that growing should be done in America, with his new job. You weren’t completely sure whether or not you wanted to go that far out and when you asked Harrison, who you managed to keep in contact with, he must have passed it on to Tom.

“Can we uh, go talk somewhere private?” Tom asked, kind of snapping your attention back to him. You looked up at your friends and tipped your cup to them as a goodbye.

You were both blocks down the street before you spoke.

“So what exactly did Harrison tell you?” you said bluntly.

“Enough,” he returned your tone. You barely registered his hand tugging at your wrist before you were face to face with him. His hand moved to behind your neck, there was force in the motion but no malice. He started kissing you, in the deep and passionate way he always had. You stood still. The look he gave you after he pulled back was full of pain, part of you was glad he felt it too.

His other hand raised to the other side of your face and pushed your shaggy hair to the side. His thumbs were warm as they tugged on your skin gently. He was looking directly into your eyes as he spoke leaving small pauses between each statement. “You are beautiful Y/N. You are sweet. You are funny. You are so very smart”

You were still as his eyes teared up. Nothing in your expression changing.

He continued though. “You know that right? You know that I would never cheat on you. You know that you don’t deserve his bullshit.”

Your patience had finally worn off. “And what? I’m going to just leave him for you?” you spoke with a certain coldness and when you pushed him away you noticed his eyes let off a single tear, then another.

“You can’t just show up and sweep me back off my fucking feet Tom. You moved on and so did I. And I’m happy now, at least I know he’ll never leave me.”

Tom was yelling now, “But you’re so much better than him! And what the hell are you going to do in bloody America? They don’t have what you have here.”

“Oh, you checked didn’t you.”

There was a silent tension that neither of you could remedy. There was nothing to be done and nothing that was going to be said. Everything inside you was screaming at you to cry but your eyes remained dry. You would not let this fucker see you cry. Not after what he did.

“Go tell Harrison to fuck off.” You turned on your heel and walked away.

After a tantrum that managed to smash two cups and an unused picture frame, you finally settled into bed. Your knees were at your chest and the tears were falling harder than you had ever felt. It wasn’t until your phone beeped that you finally looked up.

Fumbling for your phone you noticed a text from the snitch of the hour.

Haz-

Hey Tom told me what happened, I'm sorry you ok?

You almost crushed the phone in hand but still ignored it. Something had taken over your fingers and you were brought to your voicemail. You hadn’t opened it since before you broke up with Tom. It was too painful to hear his voice anymore and since you barely got any voicemails regularly, it wasn’t a big deal if you just ignored it.

Your fingers still managed to move on their own to open it up.

1st Tom:

I love you so much, I couldn’t be here without you! I miss you so much and you wouldn’t believe what happened on set today! Just uh call me back when you get this I miss you!

2nd Tom:

Um I just got your voicemail and I wanted to talk to you about it. I know I’ve been busy but I can do better I swear. Please just call me so we can work this out. It seems silly to do it over a voicemail.

3rd Tom:

If this is about the thing with Zendaya, it’s nonsense, I told you that just please pick up the phone. I need to hear your voice.

4th Zendaya:

Hey uh Y/N its Zendaya and Tom wanted me to tell you that there’s nothing going on between us. He never shuts up about you and I look forward to meeting you at the premiere!

5th Tom:

Hey it’s late and I haven’t been able to sleep without you on the phone. I miss the way your hair smells when you’re sleeping next to me and I miss hearing you sing in the shower. I miss the way you always had to dunk your oreos in 10 times before eating them and how sometimes you would count out loud without realizing it. I miss that stupid song you played on repeat for a solid week and I miss the way you danced to it. I just need you right now. I don’t even know if you’re getting these messages anymore but I need you. Please call me back.

6th Tom:

You’re a bloody bitch you got that! I get offered the role of a lifetime something you supposedly wanted from me and now that it’s here you just bloody bail on me! You know what fuck you.

7th Tom:

I’m sorry about last night. Um Harrison somehow brought home a lot of beer and said I needed to drink it out. I still love you. I really just want to hear your voice again.

8th Alex:

Hey this is the hot guy you met at the bar yesterday. Was curious if I could show you that bass I was telling you about sometime. Maybe a cheap bottle of vodka to go with it?

9th Harrison:

Hey Tom’s really beat up could you just call him to talk to him one last time

10th Alex:

Hey babe just calling to tell you happy birthday! Bring a bag to my place tonight and we’ll have some fun.

11th Tom:

I’m not going to call you anymore.

12th Alex:

I fucking told you this morning I was picking you up for lunch where the fuck are you?

13th Alex:

Your fucking mother just called me telling me to back off of you. What the bloody hell did you tell her?

14th Tom:

I know I said I wouldn’t call but I needed to be reminded that you still exist. I don’t want to give up on us even though that’s what everyone is saying I need to do. You were always so good at knowing what I needed and I’m so lost without you. I’m sorry I fucked up but I still love you and I’d give up the movie just to be with you again.

You weren’t crying when he finished. Your eyes were raw and there were no tears left even though your heart was crushed with a mallet on the floor. You hadn’t moved at all during the messages and your knees were aching but you couldn’t get yourself to budge.

It wasn’t till you heard the front door to the apartment unlock that you laid down in your bed, put your phone under the pillow and pretended to be asleep. When the bedroom door opened you heard Alex sigh and close it again. The refrigerator opened and you heard the clanking of his beer and the sound of the TV.

You felt around the bed stand for your earbuds and plugged it into your phone.

1st Tom:

I love you so much, I couldn’t be here without you! I miss you so much and ...

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