#Ive just put a fic in the google translator and I have no idea if it makes sense | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

valeriianz · 7 months

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20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @honeyteacakes <3 (and belatedly, @tharkuun haha)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

400,576 (+ 100k extra from fics i've deleted/orphaned in the past few years haha rip)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i am at the mercy of the hyperfixation, and currently it's The Sandman and Dreamling exclusively.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) Salvation (How to Get Away With Murder) 2) The Red Witch (Good Omens) 3) Bolt in the Blue (The Sandman) 4) Let Me Down Easy (The Sandman) 5) Show Me (The Mandalorian)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes and no. i love that people take the time to show their appreciation for a fic and i always want to reply and show how much it means to me... but i have this bad habit of not replying to comments on say, older works or older chapters of a fic. idk why... im just not good at it lol BUT I LOVE AND APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE COMMENT, EVEN THE LITTLE ONES 💖💖

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh, Exit Wounds, for sure haha

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

im a sucker for happy endings so i'd say, everything else lol but particularly Almost Idyllic (The Song of Achilles) due to the build up and Salvation also, because of the events leading up to the ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not since my ff.net days haha.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

very occasionally. and nothing too wild (except for that dreamling butt plug one. that was. hmm.) but i typically enjoy writing first times.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i do not.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope. though i have seen ideas/prompts used without credit. it doesn't bother me much.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

once, The Red Witch (which btw has been discontinued, pls don't read it lol). it started off just me, then my editor jumped on maybe 5 chapters in once i realized they were much more versed in magick and fantasy than me.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

haha probably Zutara.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ahhh haha... fuck. idk i want to say none. but my brain keeps whispering about the dreamling road trip au. i thought i had a plot but as i continue working on bitb and other little drabbles... ive realized i might've bitten off more than i can chew. and my only option is to completely sideline it until im done with bitb, or change the story (because right now the research i have to do for it is too much and y'all know how i am...) it sucks cos i do want to write it. but it's difficult when all my patience for research is already going into one fic (bitb).

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue and monologuing, probably.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

self 👏 motivation 👏 finding 👏 the 👏 urge 👏 to 👏 write (technically, it's tense. i flip between past and present tense constantly and at this point i just consider it one of my endearing qualities pfft)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i try to avoid it but when it happens i just use Google Translate and then toss a disclaimer that ive done my best (to which usually a commenter will helpfully correct me and then all is well)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Inuyashaaaaa (Miroku/Sango omg). exchanging physical notebooks with my friends with fanfics we'd written in school lol

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

truly a tie between Savory & Sweet and Let Me Down Easy (at the moment). the restaurant au was so easy and fun to write (probably because i used to be in the industry) and i reread it a lot. the pacing is fast and i love how immediate Hob and Dream fall into each other haha. Let Me Down Easy was very similar. my major was Media Production in undergrad and although it's been a while since i've held a camera, it was fun putting myself back in that environment. also the angst and tension were just a blast to write and figure out.

(this was an excellent waste of time, thanks again!) tagged, if y'all want, @magnusbae @teejaystumbles @ml-nolan @tj-dragonblade @reallyintoscience @delta-pavonis @staroftheendless

#20 questions is a lot so under the read more ya go!#thanks!#tag game #fic things

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

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good morning/day/evening, lovie! ig ive just burst (into tears) from the amount of love i felt to this gif. 'when its day FOR YOU' its 2:19 and ive had some drinks w/friends. yeah, we have fem, masc and neuter gender words. and it usually depends on the nouns gender its paired with. and the nouns gender depends on logic (like a girl is fem while in german girl is neuter) or just feelings nothing (night is fem). 'i typed my love actually so thats on google translate' 1)i figured you typed my love bc youd used it already 2) we say google translate sucks 3) musc is the main form of an adjective on its own so no wonder its translated like this. 'but theres no rap here?' idk TT i just love this speaking(?) part, we call it recitative but im not sure. theres one song that describes my taste in the best way possible. milyy (darling/honey). it has no eng subs (all the translations ive found are ugly) and it doesnt matter, just listen to the way it sounds and the music. i have no idea why theres a child in the vid bc?? ok the chorus literally sounds like 'Guess what ive been doing when you werent here? I was meeting my ex-lover. He promised me to show his new apartment And to try out his windowsills. And i put on my red gloves Despite him begging for stockings. Do you know, honey? (x2) Do yk what ive been doing while you were gone?' it doesnt really imply sex BUT it does have mentions of alcohol and the whole vibe isnt childish at all... but ok i love the song. 'you’ve made me like her again' a fanfact! i have such halseys last album (where those songs are from) vibes from all hotd fics. maybe all this royal aesthetic affects me like this. 'which is what her name is an anagram of' OMG fhsjd i never thought abt it! ig its not really a problem you couldnt read it as halsey. if it doesnt bother you too much, then its fine. your writings are still good shjs. and youre still big brained. 'thank you for reviving my interest in halsey' my pleasure<з you can take all the time universe gives us! yeah i put notifs but the main point is i dont have notifs in general HFJFKDH the sound is ALWAYS off so... my mom gets mad at me frequently and noone can contact me whenever they want. 'AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH' IM SO GLAD. its so beautifel and also meaningful like the cartoon itself! i used to love su sm TT 'my child' meow meow, catmom. 'dont be so ok with it' well mindset ig. 'i cant even read the russian symbols' AHAHS IM SORRY i forgot to type a latinised version. its zapekanka. k is k its a simple one. and a is a. and з is z, i usually use it for <з. and yeah!! youre so right with p! what a big brain! 'she’s literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada' oh its sad( actually its like 90% of russian classic literature and thats why i usually end up hating fem characters. or theyre just too... sweet and naive and all. i dislike all people with this type of character and its not my fault its 8/10 times women (in lit). i love characters that are interesting to me and it doesnt depend on the gender. ig im frequently seen as a sexist/homophobic just bc im judgemental... yeah not the best trait but i dont choose whos the one im going to hate based on THESE facts. yeah your face can annoy me, your voice can sound too pitchy for my liking or i just dont like your vibes BUT not bc youre a woman/man/gay or smth else. and MORE SO when you have a reason to dont like a person? it doesnt matter whos it. 'WHYYYYY>?' well i dont know ANY of them closely and im still judgemental. 'YOU GOT A MR WORLDWIFE TOO' YEah! pushkin is some kind of a literature hero here? well hes done a lot of things for it and the language and hes been a brilliant writer (hes called genius in schools). but he was SUCH a worldwife. hes written that he had more than 100 women. but he did have a wife closer to the end of his life. he also had a footfetish and put it in his most famous novel.. 'you keep saying cunning spain' well i like this image. meowmeow im glad you find it cute meowmeow. ig its all for the part 1 bc its already long. see you soon, my love<з

this is how my cat greats me sometimes T_T i miss my jinjin T_T MEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW T_T

ig ive just burst (into tears) from the amount of love i felt to this gif.

<3 <3 <3 thats great. idk if ive told you already, i feel like i have, but my teacher says its good to cry 2 a week to flush out the dirt from your eyes. on another note, i was chopping onions for my grandma this morning and i CRIED SO BAD IT HURT LASFHLKASHFKLHASFASH

'when its day FOR YOU' its 2:19 and ive had some drinks w/friends.

you went drinking!!!???? omg i hope you were responsible with it. i only recently tried drinking when it was my best friend's birthday. i want to try it again because being drunk is so fascinating but also i cant do that because T_T i would die on my way home

yeah, we have fem, masc and neuter gender words. and it usually depends on the nouns gender its paired with. and the nouns gender depends on logic (like a girl is fem while in german girl is neuter) or just feelings nothing (night is fem).

in german girl is neuter ???? ok then. i dont understand enough about fem/masc words cos filipino is neutral everything we just have siya which is he/she/it everything lolol HAHAHAHAHAH

'i typed my love actually so thats on google translate' 1)i figured you typed my love bc youd used it already 2) we say google translate sucks 3) musc is the main form of an adjective on its own so no wonder its translated like this.

#1 big brained for that #2 she trying google on her last brain cell T_T #3 makes sense. boo men 👎

'but theres no rap here?' idk TT i just love this speaking(?) part, we call it recitative but im not sure.

i see. thats nice to know. i figured that with all the music you sent me. i personally dont like it. i guess you like spoken poetry with background.

theres one song that describes my taste in the best way possible. milyy (darling/honey). it has no eng subs (all the translations ive found are ugly)

HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHA I FELT THE UGLY TRANSLATIONS HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA i love the kitties and the cutie bb girl <3 if i had to guess what i means based on the song and the video, is it about wanting to growing up and like expectations as an adult? like 'i cant wait to be an adult' but also be careful what you ask for?

and it doesnt matter, just listen to the way it sounds and the music. i have no idea why theres a child in the vid bc?? ok the chorus literally sounds like 'Guess what ive been doing when you werent here? I was meeting my ex-lover. He promised me to show his new apartment And to try out his windowsills. And i put on my red gloves Despite him begging for stockings. Do you know, honey? (x2) Do yk what ive been doing while you were gone?' it doesnt really imply sex BUT it does have mentions of alcohol and the whole vibe isnt childish at all... but ok i love the song.

[jaw on the floor] my gosh boy was i wrong T_T WTF WHY IS THERE A CHILD HERE HELP T_T WHEN I TELL YOU MY JAW DROPPED AFTER READING THIS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SUCH A BIG BRAIN MOMENT FOR ME IM SO 💀💀💀💀

'you’ve made me like her again' a fanfact! i have such halseys last album (where those songs are from) vibes from all hotd fics. maybe all this royal aesthetic affects me like this.

interesting to know. i mean i think each of our experience affect us as a person so it goes both ways.

'which is what her name is an anagram of' OMG fhsjd i never thought abt it! ig its not really a problem you couldnt read it as halsey. if it doesnt bother you too much, then its fine. your writings are still good shjs. and youre still big brained. 'thank you for reviving my interest in halsey' my pleasure<з

nah it bothered me so much my brain was so frustrated i hated seeing her and her name because i kept reading it wrong. i read her as hasley in my head for a long time even though i knew it was wrong then i only shut up my brain by reading at loud and suddenly the world was silent again lashflashflasf and i wasn't bothered by her name anymore

this was the era of halsey that i could not pronounce HAHHAH

you can take all the time universe gives us! yeah i put notifs but the main point is i dont have notifs in general HFJFKDH the sound is ALWAYS off so... my mom gets mad at me frequently and noone can contact me whenever they want.

thank you i need all the time in the world cos school T_T. also ur so me fr tbh i personally dont care about notifs even though its on i just ignore everyone T_T HAHAHHA

'AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH' IM SO GLAD. its so beautifel and also meaningful like the cartoon itself! i used to love su sm TT

ive heard it on tiktok before and i wondered where it was from so thank you for that <3 i love the cartoon too but i never got to watch it play out, you know, like on tv theyd play the episodes out of order and i just ??? yeah i never even learned about stevens mom whats up with her

'my child' meow meow, catmom.

'dont be so ok with it' well mindset ig.

DONT BE SO OK WITH IT

'i cant even read the russian symbols' AHAHS IM SORRY i forgot to type a latinised version. its zapekanka.

slay zapekanka

k is k its a simple one.

IT IS WOW I THOUGHT IT WASNT MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE actually idk when i started telling myself it wasnt a k lol HAHAH

and a is a. and з is z, i usually use it for <з. and yeah!! youre so right with p! what a big brain!

purr thank you for the brief lesson <3

'she’s literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada' oh its sad( actually its like 90% of russian classic literature and thats why i usually end up hating fem characters. or theyre just too... sweet and naive and all. i dislike all people with this type of character and its not my fault its 8/10 times women (in lit).

SAME I HATE IT WHEN WOMEN ARE STUPID LIKE SIR HAVE YOU MET A WOMAN? AND HAVE YOU MET A man (derogatory) russian literature L for that 😞🍅thats why i like making my fem characters chew their male interests. feminism.

i love characters that are interesting to me and it doesnt depend on the gender. ig im frequently seen as a sexist/homophobic just bc im judgemental... yeah not the best trait but i dont choose whos the one im going to hate based on THESE facts.

T_T i think ur just judgy T_T your ire has no boundaries T_T HELP T_T you should maybe work on that ? but i totally get not liking weak characters

yeah your face can annoy me, your voice can sound too pitchy for my liking or i just dont like your vibes BUT not bc youre a woman/man/gay or smth else. and MORE SO when you have a reason to dont like a person? it doesnt matter whos it.

T_T 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀like i said, your ire knows no bounds

'WHYYYYY>?' well i dont know ANY of them closely and im still judgemental.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HELP T_T

'YOU GOT A MR WORLDWIFE TOO' YEah! pushkin is some kind of a literature hero here? well hes done a lot of things for it and the language and hes been a brilliant writer (hes called genius in schools). but he was SUCH a worldwife. hes written that he had more than 100 women. but he did have a wife closer to the end of his life. he also had a footfetish and put it in his most famous novel..

HE HAD A WHAT NOW actually i dont want to know more about his footfetish, you do you boo. BUT OMG he like rizal for real, although yeah he didnt get married he just 💀 then never had a wife cos he just 👻 but idk if his lovers reached 100 💀💀💀💀💀💀

'you keep saying cunning spain' well i like this image. meowmeow im glad you find it cute meowmeow.

T_T MEOW MEOW

ig its all for the part 1 bc its already long. see you soon, my love<з

YEs yes p2 <3

xxx

#anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

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yesttoheaven · 3 years

Text

AMOR FATI

pairing – neil x female!reader

wc – 3.8k

warnings – mention of death, self-blame, anxious/intrusive thoughts, questioning reality, refusal of help, guns, stalking, but I swear there's a light at the end of the tunnel haha

a/n – The last time I suffered so hard for the death of a character, was when Newt died (Maze Runner) and now Neil has captured all my attention and his death has hit me in the same way 😩 I needed a happy ending so I decided to write this!

The Eternal Return and Amor Fati mentioned in this fic are one of the main ideas of Nietzsche's philosophy.

English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

Y/N – your name

She approached the painting hanging on the wall, watching the details closely. Ouroboros. A serpent eating its own tail. Months ago, when Y/N was visiting an antique store in Mumbai, she saw that same symbol. The owner of the establishment approached when she realized her interest in the piece and explained that Ouroboros represents the ideas of movement, continuity and, in consequence, Eternal Return. A concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space.

"Max finally fell asleep." Kat returned to the living room, attracting Y/N's attention.

She walked away from the painting, taking back her seat on the sofa and asked:

"How is he after everything that happened?"

For a moment, Kat looked at the painting on the wall and then at the friend she won in the midst of confusion over the Algorithm. At that time, despite being fighting on the front lines to prevent a possible Third World War, Y/N seems complete. Happy. Today that happiness no longer exists in her eyes.

Letting out a sigh, the woman sat next to her, answering:

"Sator was never a present father. He was always busy... now i can see the kind of work he was involved in. Anyway, Max just got used to his absence."

"It's notable that he's happier at your side. When we first met Max was a bit of an introvert, but today he is radiant." Y/N confessed, showing a small smile and the blonde shook her head, agreeing with her words. "How's everything?"

"Perfectly well. It's weird sometimes... After years of being stuck in a failed relationship, freedom is good."

"It seems like life is good for one of us." The woman let out a bitter laugh, putting the latest events on a scale, but she didn’t want her friend to think she wasn’t happy for her. She really was. "I'm sorry, I just..." The words remain stuck in her throat, while she covers her face with her hands. In addition to physical and mental fatigue, Y/N tried to hide her grief.

Kat touched her shoulder, showing that she was here.

"I know you're hurt, but it's been three months and you never talked about what happened that day... This is not good for you."

"What do I have to say, Kat? The guy I fell in love with was a fucking time traveler! And now he's dead and I don't know what to do. My life just... stopped without him."

"I can imagine how difficult it's for you to cross that line without Neil at your side, but giving up is not an option. Grief is consuming you little by little and you are just accepting it..."

"We are trained to contain our emotions and deal with death in the best possible way. It used to be easy for me, but then he came and turned my life upside down." Y/N put her hands on her knees and stood up, walking without an exact destination. "Neil was always one step ahead of us all..." She stepped forward too and found the painting again, but her mind was lost in thoughts about him. Neil knew her so well. And he had a charming smile, but completely arrogant at the same time. "I was sent to Mumbai to help two agents and when I arrived at Priya's penthouse that night, there he was. When he saw me, that was the first and only time that he let his guard down. I'll never forget how he looked at me, it was one of those breathtaking moments... Completely cliché, I know."

On the sofa, Kat was impressed. When Y/N turned towards her, there was a bright smile on her face. The simple memory brought her a breath of happiness and Kat enjoyed seeing her friend like that, but unfortunately that moment did not last long. Memories aren't enough. Neil is dead and nothing can change that.

"I miss him so much, Kat." The smile disappeared as soon as tears appeared in her eyes, cascading down her cheeks.

"My dear..." Worried about her, the woman got up quickly and approached Y/N, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I'm really sorry."

"I spent the last three months locked up in my a-apartment because I thought I could handle this situation on my own. At times I b-believed it was just a fever dream... Maybe I was losing my mind, but this is proof that everything was real." Through tears blurring her vision, she looked at the watch on her wrist, remembering that night.

Y/N was in a private cabin on the ship. The others were with Ives and Wheeler, going over the mission in search of any loose ends. A standard procedure. Y/N knew she should be with them, but she needed a moment alone to organize her thoughts. And that moment is now. The past few weeks had been a real mess. The inversion was difficult to explain and mainly to understand. She was used to field missions, but being an inverted soldier on the battlefield was not in her plans. Either way, she agreed to be a part of it and running away with biased assumptions was not going to help. Humanity depends on them.

Three knocking on the door caught Y/N's attention, but she remained silent, waiting for the person to give up and leave, but when it didn't, she just murmured 'Come in'.

"So, here you are." The man used a surprised tone of voice and closed the door behind him. "What will our superior think when he learns that you are running away from the briefing?"

She let out a laugh before answering in the same mood:

"Don't worry, I know this mission like the back of my hand. I just needed a moment."

"There's something wrong? Are you ok?" Neil spilled the questions quickly, visibly concerned for her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Neil." Y/N smiled at him, but looked away just seconds later, confessing: "Maybe I'm a little surprised by the situation. I have spent years dealing with terrorists, but the inversion is really not my point."

"I'm not good with advice, but someone once said to me: Don't try to understand. Certain things in the world do not need an explanation."

"It's wise advice, but I'm a methodical person. Logic has always been my ally in missions."

"A methodical person, huh?" He asked with an arrogant smile playing on his lips and she just rolled her eyes. "I know how worried you were when Sator shot Kat, but we are using the inversion to save the world and you're one of the most brilliant agents I have ever seen. Everything will be fine."

"Are you praising me?"

"What's that? Can't I praise my partner's talent?" Neil pulled up a chair to sit across from her, crossing his arms.

"In that case, thank you. Remind me to put this on my resume." Those words made him laugh and that sound could easily be compared to music in her ears.

Touching her knee, Neil added:

"We are very confident with the mission. You don't need to worry."

"Are you sure?"

"I cannot say that unforeseen events do not happen, but we are prepared for that." Y/N knew he was right, but this mission is the biggest one so far. It's not about saving a country. It's about saving the entire world. This was arousing insecurities in her and it was like walking in a minefield. Ironically, she was familiar with this, but not in such catastrophic proportions. "I want you to have this." The man took his watch off his wrist and handed it to her.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" The question came out as a whisper from between her lips.

It didn't make sense. Why does everything in this conversation look like a farewell?

"We will be on opposite sides tomorrow, but i want you to know... I will always be with you, Y/N."

"I saw the way he looked at you... That's how I used to look at Sator before he became a monster in my life." Kat started, running a hand through Y/N's hair. "When I was lying on that stretcher and partially drugged with the medicines, I saw him beside you... watching you sleep. There was so much love in his eyes. Love for a lifetime, Y/N. So don't do this to yourself. The way he left hurt us all, but there was nothing you or any other agent could do to change what happened at Stalask-12. Neil saved the world. This gave us a second chance. You cannot give up now. This organization needs you. And keeping your mind busy at that moment is the first step towards a fresh start."

"N-No, I can't..." She broke the hug, shaking her head in denial. "I left the organization."

"What? Don't you work for Tenet anymore? But when we first met you told me that you can't imagine working in another area... And that this is your life's work."

"Being an agent is my life's work. I was in Yemen when Tenet found me and assigned me to this mission. My only job is to make this world a less hostile place, but the motto of this organization is not what I believe, Kat. What's happened's happened. Really? It doesn't work for me." Y/N ended the sentence with drops of anger in her voice and Kat did not say a single word.

Through the newspapers, Max's mother followed what was happening in Yemen over the years – a real endless war – and knowing that Y/N was in the middle of it, makes the situation unquestionable. People died in front of her eyes. Friends of the corporation. And then some time later, Tenet arrived with a fresh start, but in the end everything remained the same. She lost Neil. It is as if her life's work never had a happy ending because the world will never stop being a hostile place.

"He knows?" It was easy for Y/N to identify who she was talking about. The Protagonist. Or just TP.

"Here's another problem. I worked with him and indirectly worked for him at the same time! God, that man created this organization! And his name remains a mystery to us all!" She pinched the tip of her nose, feeling frustrated with all the secrets that haunt this organization. "And answering your question, yes, he knows, but he did not argue about it. I was a complete mess and he was not doing very well either... He stayed in my apartment for the first month, probably to make sure I didn't do anything stupid." And Y/N would be forever grateful for that. She likes him. Just as friends, of course. TP was a reserved man, but it was he who held her when everything was falling apart. "But we've had a fight. I blamed him for what happened at Stalask-12 and since then we haven't spoken anymore."

It was easy to see that they carried more pain than they could actually bear. Y/N lost her great love and the man lost his best friend. The situation just turned into a conflict between them and that was the result.

Realizing the sadness reflected in Y/N's eyes, Kat decided to change the subject of the conversation. Keeping that thought, she smiled and pointed to the painting on the wall. Maybe that could help.

"You seemed interested in this one."

"Oh yes, in my spare time I am a lover of art and its meanings. It is really attractive the way Ouroboros is connected to the Eternal Return..."

"And Amor Fati too." Kat completed, piquing Y/N's curiosity. This part was new to her. "It's impossible to affirm the Eternal Return without loving life. We need to learn that things happen as they do. Sometimes seemingly good. Sometimes seemingly bad. We don’t always get it our way... Unless we choose that whatever way it is, is our way. When we choose to Amor Fati, to love everything that happens, to love our fate, then we will always get it our way. Because the way it is, is the way it is. Unchangable. And therefore it must be good, even if it sucks."

These words touched Y/N's heart. This was a contradiction to what she is experiencing right now. Love your fate. She would like to understand and accept what happened, she really wanted, but why is it so difficult to move on?

Because Neil is dead.

That was the only explanation for her. The end of a relationship would be more acceptable. If he were alive, things would be completely different now. However, grief is overwhelming. How could she just accept what happened?

"I... I gotta go." That was all she managed to say before picking up her bag and leave the penthouse, ignoring Kat's protests.

When the elevator doors closed, an exhausted sigh left her mouth and the instant she saw her reflection in the mirror, Y/N wanted to cry again. After three months alone, she thought visiting her friend would be a good idea. Kat was willing to help, but the problem was that Y/N is not allowing herself to be helped. As soon as the doors opened, she left the metal box and found the hotel lobby partially empty. Her watch showed it was 3:13 AM, this explains the absence of people on the street as well. In front of her car, she searched the bag for the key and coincidentally her cell phone started to vibrate. Probably the text messages were from Kat, but confusion hit Y/N the instant she looked at the identifier and saw that the messages did not belong to any of her contacts.

Stay away from the car

They put a bomb

I'm on my way

Her first reaction was to take a few steps back and look around, trying to understand what’s going on and find the person responsible for these texts, but Y/N was alone in the dark street. When she thought it might be an unnecessary prank, a black SUV approached at high speed. The car stopped just a few meters away from where she was, but that was enough to make her body freeze.

"Y/N, come on!" The man exclaimed, the urgency in his voice would have made her run immediately, but she didn't move. Her feet had frozen on the floor. This cannot be real. "Come on, get in the car! We don't have much time!" He tried again, it was possible to hear the sound of the other cars approaching.

Y/N watched in slow motion the moment he left the car and ran towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"How is this possible?" She asked in a whisper, completely lost in his blue eyes.

"It's good to see you too." Neil admitted, feeling his heart race. She looked so fragile in his arms. Very different from the last time he saw her. "We have to go." He accompanied her to the car and as soon as Y/N took the passenger seat, he returned to his seat.

For her this moment was like a fever dream, so she just looked down and started counting her fingers. One, two, three, four, five... Neil noticed, but said nothing, just kept driving. The cars were fast approaching, but he would do everything possible and impossible to get Y/N away from these people.

"Give me your cell phone." He looked at her for a brief moment, but when Y/N didn’t react, he wasn't sure if she heard it, so he just took the phone from her hand and threw it out the window. That was enough to get her out of the numbness:

"What the fuck, Neil?!"

Despite the adrenaline rushing through his body, the man laughed.

"If I found you because of your cell phone, they can too." After that, he crossed the red light and made a risky turn, trying to end this chase. "Before you ask, no, this is not a dream. Unfortunately this is very real..." Neil didn't like what he saw when he adjusted the rearview mirror. "And now they are getting ready to shoot us."

That observation put Y/N on alert and she looked back, seeing a man with an AKS-74U and another with a Beretta M12.

"If you knew it wasn't a dream, why didn't you bring an armored car?" She ran her tongue between her lips, smiling at the man beside her. Neil tried to argue, but she just took off her seat belt and picked up the Glock 19 stuck in the vest he was wearing.

Y/N crawled out of the car and sat at the window opening. This encouraged the men in the two cars to start shooting, trying desperately to hit her. Neil shouted something that she couldn't understand and then she felt one of his hands on her thigh, giving her stability to continue with the plan. With her arm resting on the roof of the vehicle, Y/N aimed the gun at the car that was closest to them. Her intention was not to start a firefight in the middle of one of the main avenues in the city, but she had no other option. Holding her breath, she fired the first shot and the bullet hit the tire, taking the car out of circulation. Y/N celebrated while preparing for the second car, but dealing with this one was not an easy task. Now they were in a tunnel and, consequently, losing speed because of the other cars that came along the way. Neil left two pats on her leg, indicating that she had better get back in the car and that is what she did. Screams, honks and gunshots echoed through the tunnel, turning the place into a war zone. Whoever these men were, Y/N knew they weren't going to give up.

Tired of playing cat and mouse, she went to the back seat, getting on her knees. Through the broken glass above the trunk, Y/N adjusted the aim of her gun, ignoring the sniper and focusing on the driver. With another accurate shot, the bullet hit the man's chest and he lost control of the vehicle. The car overturned for a while, streaking the asphalt, but no other car was involved in the accident. Y/N sighed in relief and looked for another possible threat, just checking, but when she realized that the area was clean, she returned to the passenger seat, leaving the gun on the dashboard in front of her.

"Next time I'm going to get an armored car." Neil comments, stepping on the gas. "Nice shot, by the way."

"Anytime." Y/N smiled, trying to control her breathing.

With the adrenaline disappearing from her body, it was hard for her to believe that this was really happening. For many nights she cried, wondering what it would be like if Neil just came back to her, but now she was afraid to wake up and realize that it was just another vivid dream.

The sun was rising when they arrived in a shed away from the city. Seen from the outside, the place was a little scary, but the interior wasn't that bad. There was some equipment like trackers, walkie-talkie, bulletproof vests, weapons, ammunition; a table with a mess of papers and on the other side two beds and something that Y/N supposed to be a private bathroom.

"Where we are?"

We. That simple word echoed in her mind. Y/N thought that "we" didn't exist anymore.

"For now in a safe place. It's dangerous for you out there." He answered the question and took a bottle of water, handing it to her after taking a generous sip.

"Who are these people, Neil?" She wanted answers, lots of answers, and that frustrated the british spy because for the first time he didn't know what could happen.

Neil had a mission and that mission ended with him dying in Stalask-12, but after what TP did, everything changed.

"We have a name..." He wanted to say more, he wanted to reassure her, but that was all he had at the moment.

Y/N drank some water and left the bottle on the table, looking at some reports and photos. All photos were of the same man.

Lenard Vaher

"But apparently they don't just want you..."

It took a few seconds and when the realization hit Y/N, concern appeared on her face.

No, not him.

"Where's TP? He's safe, right?"

"He was going to see you when Lenard's men kidnapped him. This happened three weeks ago." And considering the anger in Neil's voice, finding TP was proving an almost impossible task, but in the midst of so much concern, one point attracted Y/N's attention.

"You said he was going to see me..."

"There was something he needed to tell you." Neil sighed, resting his hands on the table. A few strands of blond hair fell over his forehead, but he quickly shook his head back, as he always did. "He returned to Stalask-12, Y/N."

After that statement, the only sound that could be heard was Neil's footsteps closing the distance between them and the first thing she did was put her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Neil smiled. And that was not one of his famous smiles. That was a shy smile. His heart was beating like a drum and it was all because of her. Loving Y/N was something so special and pure, that Neil accepted his fate without a second thought. Saving the world, he was giving her a second chance to live, but now he is the one who received a second chance.

"I missed you every day." Before she could begin to consider the meaning behind his words, he settled his mouth upon hers, robbing her of thought.

She closed her eyes and melted against him, flattening her hands on his arms. Neil caught her bottom lip in his teeth, nibbling and licking at it until she thought she might perish from the intensity of the feeling. She whimpered at the sensation, and he rewarded the sound by deepening the kiss, giving her everything she desired. His tongue stroked hers, slow and insistent. A lush, decadent pleasure unfolded within them, snaking through their veins as though it had lain coiled in anticipation for years.

Just waiting for this moment.

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a/n – really hope you enjoy it and thank you soooo much for reading ;)

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