#Jake is Dirk’s boyfriend/ex

[offkilterkeys]

Being a Jane liker is so hard cause you go to her tag and it’s just a bunch of people lamenting how overhated she is and then continuing to ignore her, and being a Jake liker is so hard cause you go to his tag and it’s just tons of people making the most demeaning comments about him cause his character committed the crime of being annoying (unforgivable.)

#homestuck #jake english #jane crocker #vent #? #I guess hahaha #I am in the content trenches with these two #it’s always secretly about Dirk with them #Jane is Dirk’s bestie #Jake is Dirk’s boyfriend/ex #I just want content about them being friends/siblings/cousins or whatever #or with other people like Roxy or Jade #or even just stuff on their own #but nooooo always the same guy #and even the people who talk about how this fandom focuses too much on the dudes #characterize Jane as Dirk’s bestie and nothing more #I’m considering sharing my Jane analysis if only to bring more diversity #it’s actually kinda funny though that so much of their stuff revolves around Dirk #cause in canon that bothers Jane #how easy things are for him to just do #and she literally admits to being jealous of him #and while he interprets it to be mainly about Jake it’s honestly just in general #like he just does a bunch of stuff that she wishes she had the courage to do #and honestly he’s just more of a hero #they’re kinda like an inversion of John and Dave’s dynamic mixed with Jade and Dave’s #where from Dirks perspective it’s JadeDave in the sense that he just sees Jane as his silly friend who he must protect #while from Jane’s she’s the Dave to his John in that she wants to be heroic in the way he is #and like nobody does anything with that #The fandom ever focused on the boys takes Dirk’s side and says look at her #she’s just a girl

[sunshinem0ths]

maybe its the people i surround myself with

#[slaps top of drawing] this bad boy can fit so much symbolism #i hope the candy epilogue writers are doing terribly #yall ever feel objectified by the very MEMORY of your ex boyfriend and his hand in your abysmal self image? #homestuck #dirkjake #(? i guess) #dirk strider #jake english #cw blood #cw injury #cw light gore #artists on tumblr #my art #hs^2

[rm6y7m6]

I can't quite grasp the personality of Ult Jake but i will definitely like him Like I love all heroes who live long enough eventually rot into villains with power I'm also looking forward to seeing John in the end just become a deity with no humanity. If everyone gets the ultimate self and is alienated and indifferent things are bound to get interesting like the prologue to some kind of cosmic war Once an ally for each other now he's pointing his gun at your head.

And then there's always that one character who still doesn't give up or just half gives up Maybe the ult Dave? He's definitely trying to find a John in an infinite timeline who can handle things. Lets all just don't be badass. And Dave is just infinitely ultimately lost in time.

ult dirk is just prologue Ult Rose just finally watch numbly and never lead anyone again ult jade? she's missing ult roxy refuses to come out of the void, she's off camera ult jane? oh her empire is more prosperous than condesce almost half of the universe is her empire ult jake. It's chaos itself, his whereabouts are unpredictable Ult John is just invisible in Earth C 's society，no one can find him or remember him

In the end ult Dave was looking for a turning point in time for them and got lost in the timeline and forgot where he came from. The story will start with Jake, who is simply pulling a string of harmful pranks on Jane's empire. Jane was angrily trying to find him, and Dirk was Jane's military adviser. When he finds jake they just fight and flirt and destroy a bunch of balls and creatures. Dirk's feelings for Ultimate Jake are completely described as black hatred. This time jake is the toxic ex-boyfriend character. Karkat and Earth's rebels are just trying to stop the human gods who were once their friends. kanaya stayed at rose's temple praying for her lover to come out but rose didn't respond to her or show up John found a job on Earth, commuted from 9 to 5 every day, watched the cosmic news broadcast on TV and didn't care. roxy and jade are gone, like gods who have disappeared. Dave keeps jumping in the timeline, he wants to escape and find a way to break this timeline. Jake's resistance to him only made Dave more tired and lost in time. Before Dave was finally swallowed into a dark timeline and trapped, he finally heard Jake say a word to him "Wizards who play with time never end well".

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #ultimate dirk #ultimate self #ultimate jake #just idea #ult rose #ult john

[teamsieben]

I had a dream that I was explaining the "I am Brain Ghost Dirk. You kissed my boyfriend. Prepare to die." line in Homestuck to my dad because he's a fan of The Princess Bride and might possibly get a kick out of the reference and I realized how absolutely incomprehensible the context behind that scene would be to a random person. Like

"Okay so there's this character named Jake, and his power is hope, and with that hope he has a mental simulation of Dirk, who is his friend and also ex who actually broke up with him a while back but apparently Jake's subconscious doesn't want to accept that or whatever. So there's this blue spider alien lady who came back from the dead and like the second thing she does after coming back from the dead is making advances on Jake, which she thought would be reciprocated because he seemed to be into her when they previously met in dreams, but Jake just swats her away, and then the spider alien lady heals his hope somehow and this causes Brain Ghost Dirk to get stronger (including becoming visible to others and gaining functioning soul-destroying powers, oh yeah did I forget to say Dirk has soul-destroying powers?) and Brain Ghost Dirk wants to kill spider lady using those powers because the thing she used to come back to life (a magic ring) is wanted by the humans to resurrect a different alien girl. So he uses those soul-destroying powers to try to destroy her soul, which leads to that line."

#i think i just doomed myself into actually explaining it by making myself a script #homestuck #brain ghost dirk

[tired-gay-wreck9]

i see so many people talking about bipolar 2 sollux or bipolar 1 mituna but we all really looked over the real bipolar king: Jake English

in the first time we see him, pre-dating dirk, he displays a lot of symptoms of hypomania/mania. he has delusions of being an amazing and flawless guy, and sees no consequences in being a dick to Jane. he also is very energetic and peppy these wouldn't all make him bipolar, as bipolar is characterized as having high highs (mania/hypomania) and low lows (severe depression). jake english has never displayed symptoms of severe depression on-screen.

but he has off screen! around after he started his relationship with dirk, he became distant, ignoring dirks pesters and only talking to jane about his relationship problems. he seems significantly less happy and energetic. even with an outside perspective, i would say that in this period in his life he's dealing with depression.

we dont have any evidence that his depression is in the severe lows it would be if he were bipolar, as we see nothing of his life, but because we see nothing of his life he could also stop caring for his interests and stop caring for himself. we really don't know how bad it got for him.

now, if jake does have bipolar, the next question is whether he has bipolar 1 or 2. if you dont know the difference between those two, it can be summarized as that the mania is more intense for someone with bipolar 1.

in bipolar 2, mania means happiness, a percived loss of consequences, elevated self esteem and energy, and in some cases, elevated anxiety and anger (but jake doesnt really display a lot of those last two symptoms soooo) in bipolar 1 the person has all those symptoms but more intense. but the mosty defining symptom that seperates bp1 and bp2 in psychosis in bipolar 1 patients, and the fact that episodes last longer in bp1 patients (bp2 episodes last for a few days to 2 weeks, while bp1 episodes can last for 2 weeks to a year or so)

I personally think Jake had bipolar 1, but you can hc whatever you want. the rest of this post will be about bp1 jake so you can stop reading if that doesnt interest you.

if we look at our last few observations of jake's episodes, it makes the most sense that he has longer episodes. pre-medium and post introduction to the viewer, we assume that he is exclusively manic/hypomanic. we can also assume that during the 153 days post-medium and pre-trickster he was depressed. if we go off of those assumptions, it makes the most sense for him to be bipolar one based off of the length.

'but max', you may say, 'Jake has never had psychosis!' and to that i say, yes. he has never had textbook definition psychosis. but he does have brain ghost dirk. and while brain ghost dirk does actually exist, the existance of his ex boyfriend that only he can see who he can hope into existance could be interpreted as coding, maybe an allusion to actual psychosis???

and while we're on the topic of allusions and shit, trickster mode really shares a lot of symptoms of hypomania ;)

who knows. im not a doctor. fun thought experiment, right? i love head canons

but fr, please dont use a headcanon post about a homestuck character to diagnose yourself with something. i also dont have bipolar 1 and while i do have bipolar 2 i still couldve gotten some stuff wrong so please let me know if i did or forgot to mention some stuff!

stay safe and sane babes!

#jake english #trickster mode #bipolar 1 #bipolar 2 #homestuck #character analysis #alpha kids #brain ghost dirk

[crazyexdirkfriend]

What's the behind the scenes for shag etc? 👀 (also the icon on your blog theme is so cute...)

ty ty! it's from chapter 2 of two short hours etc. in case anyone didn't see it. okay this might get long so read more time

I have so many behind the scenes for that. Firstly: the playlist. this is what I made because my huge dirkjake playlist isn't thematically consistent. but to elaborate on the Lore of my choices:

dirt-emma blackery is actually the song that gave me the idea for the fic, and then down for the count-bowling for soup played afterwards. the key being snarky bits like "then you came on twitter saying i'm bitter, honey have you looked in the mirror" "how far down will you go on me, ONLINE" "guess things go sour after they pass their sell-by-date"

dead girl walking (reprise) was initially on my playlist for calvariæ and strip away my conscience (FIFTY SHADES OF MORALLY GREEEY) was on my two short hours etc. playlist, but both made the migration over thematically

someone gets hurt is solely on this for POOOOR LITTLE ME ALL TRAPPED IN THIS FABULOUS SHOOOOW. jake in a golden bird cage of his own making.

the bit where jake walks out on stage to endorse karkat with the back light is based on the music video for taylor swift's "i bet you think about me" when she...well comes out with a back light to "the voice is so loud, saying 'why did you let her go?'" it's very revenge dress moment for jake here. rip princess diana, she would have loved my fanfiction where dirk and jake hunt each other for sport.

i'm on it by the cast of nashville is on this because "the only over i'll be is over your shoulder" is why i have jake make those stupid billboards to haunt dirk with.

god is a freak is on this. but dirk is god in this scenario. WEIRD YOU'RE ACTING LIKE MY BOYFRIEND :///

Some other behind the scenes lore, like deleted scenes: I was supposed to rehash the scene where Roxy (and Jake) comes out as NB but it didn't fit in the end. Here's the excerpt I did write

There was also supposed to be a scene where Jake sent Dirk this meme but I forgot to put it in. I instead complained on Twitter about forgetting to put it in and then my third level lecturer SENT ME MY OWN TWEET and then offered me work. I am still haunted by this fact. I have no idea why this happened. Deep deep lore. Here's the image btw

This scene was also supposed to be in it but I had no idea where to go with it. Raccoon was supposed to be a series regular.

This note on the final conflict scene is the only time I used the term "emotionally devastate." The fic was unnamed until literally 3 days before its release bc I couldn't think of anything other than "the blood between us is horrendous but in a vacillating manner as opposed to a xenophobic one- (Troll Taylor's Version)" which was way too long considering no one ever types the full name of shag emotionally devastate etc. anyway lmao

The billboards and the bloat advertising on the dating apps are things I've had Jake do before in RP, both deliberately and accidentally. I find it so infinitely funny to think about the idea of Jake believing so hard that Dirk would never love anyone other than him that he (hope powers) makes it functionally impossible for Dirk to move on. Dirk looks for him in nothing and finds him there anyway. Buys a drink at a bar and Skaianet sponsors Orange Crush now. Is on a date with some guy who is like "hold on, you're jake english's ex? you broke up with jake english? sorry I could never date anyone stupid enough to let jake english go" (shoving breadsticks in purse). I think Jake would also set up Tinder so he pops up every three swipes but when Dirk swipes right on him eventually he just gets a Skaianet helpdesk bot

Other behind the scenes hmm. I spent the vast majority of 8-10 weeks not writing this and 4 weeks actually writing the bulk of it, but most of the time was spent hand wringing on discord because I was convinced that this fic would not be received well so I'm actually hugely pleasantly surprised that people have liked it!

[this-story-of-dreams]

Making every Nancy Drew game Gay™ for pride month

SCK: Hulk and Jake were canoodling in secret

STFD: The culprit is a bitter ex-lover of Rick’s

MHM: Everyone already knows Rose and Abby are girlfriends

TRT: Everyone in this game is gay except Jacques. Unless you headcanon that his fiance is his beard.

FIN: Nick is very anti-cop and super rad. You know what else is rad? Being trans!

SSH: Henrik is trans. Why? Because he’s hot and I said so.

DOG: Sally is a lesbian living her cottagecore dreams

CAR: Everyone in this game can be gay if you just believe

DDI: Katie is clearly a lesbian, which is just another reason why Holt doesn’t like her. He’s already a misogynist so he might as well be a lesbophobe too.

SHA: Okay get this: what if Dirk Valentine was trans.

CUR: James Penvellyn was clearly gay. Like...clearly.

CLK: Josiah Crowley was gay and a drag queen!! This is basically canon tbh

TRN: Fatima is a known lesbian. Gay people enjoy romance novels too!

DAN: I headcanon Jean as gay, mainly because of his glasses

CRE: Quigley is an accomplished scientist and also gay and I respect her for that

ICE: No offense but Bill and Lou were definitely canoodling

CRY: You know how the guy Lamont bought Zeke’s from didn’t want him to change the name, despite his name not being Zeke either? Zeke was his boyfriend.

VEN: Nina and Helena are girlfriends

HAU: What if Kit and Matt also used to date? Adding drama to the drama!

RAN: George is literally right there

WAC: Everyone is gay! Yes I know some of the characters have boyfriends but it’s an all-girls school. They are gay.

TOT: Frosty was clearly always meant to be gay

SAW: Yumi is a high-femme lesbian and she is amazing

CAP: Renate is an elderly woman who seemingly never got married and never had kids. Conclusion? She is ace, just like me!

ASH: Again, George is RIGHT THERE. And so is Deirdre!

TMB: Jamila is a lesbian because she’s beautiful and an icon and incredible and I just *swoons*

DED: Ryan is CLEARLY bisexual, she has the haircut! Also, Gray and Niko were in love, which is unbelievably romantic btw

GTH: Harper was ostracized by her family for her mental health struggles but also because she’s gay. Also, Colin and Jessalyn were each other’s beards.

SPY: Zoe Wolfe is bi because she's hot

MED: GEORGE FAYNE IS RIGHT THERE

LIE: Xenia is a theater kid, which is pretty gay (source: i am a theater kid)

SEA: This is the only game that is already gay

MID: Miss Deirdre Shannon makes a comeback!

#nancy drew #nancy drew pc games #general

[miss-atena]

I've been itching to talk about my humanstuck au for a while, but no one i know is really that into homestuck to remotely be interested. But now that my 2 homestuck posts seemed to go fairly well (to the number of people i have following me n all that jazz, i think i can info dump a bit lmao

So without further ado, let me present you all with

My Humanstuck AU, made by a nerd, shipper and simp

First and foremost, all canonical trolls we know of (excluding the 2 canon fantrolls) are in this AU. Yes this includes hiveswap, but it excludes the epilogues and Homestuck^2 since those are "beyond canon"

This is also true for the humans. All canonical humans are here, including Joey and Jude. And in this AU we don't have John, I am a June Egbert supporter and appreciator.

Hiveswap characters are not the focus in here, so they are more so background characters that we see on occasion on the city.

Talking bout it, everyone lives in a big city which i'm in between calling Alternia or naming it Lemopolis as an homage to the city i grew up, but making it american like.

All the originally troll characters bloods are coherent to a social class, and that is a topic that is discussed and treated with respect. Other important and somewhat heavy themes are also acknowledged and talked between characters, such as abusive relationships, toxic friendships, addiction, violence, racism, mysoginy, lgbtphobia, ableism, mental health and others more. Have in mind most of these topics I have dealt or seen close people deal with, so this comes from research, talking with people who had those issues or my own experiences.

I, right in the beginning, made some decisions on the families, mostly of the humans and the Vantas, Maryams and Leijons. So let's enter this topic for a bit.

While I know the genealogic families of the humans in homestuck are messed up due to ectobiology and the multiple universes and timelines, I didn't want to make them confusing, so i separated them in the normal families we see EXCEPT for the stridelondes, as i made them one big family. The families we have are The Crocker-Egbert family, which everyone has this as their surname, and it consists of Poppop Crocker, Nanna Egbert, Dad Crocker-Egbert and his two children, Jane and June Crocker-Egbert.

The Harley-English family, which consists of Grandma English, Grandpa Harley, their two children (a man and a woman), and these childrens child, from which the woman had Jade Harley and the man had Jake English, which makes Jade and Jake cousins.

The Strider-Lalonde family is a big one, so bear with me. We have Derek Strider (on Homestuck, dave's bro) who has a on and off relationship with Roxanne Lalonde (Rose's mom on canon). These two had 5 children, Dirk and Hal (twins), Roxy, Rose and Dave. Derek also had other two children, Crowley (davesprite) and Veppie (davepeta), while Roxanne had another daughtar name Jasperie (Jasprose). AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF Roxanne has a sister named Rosalyn and Derek has a brother named David.

Finally the last of the complicated relationships on families are from the Vantas, the Leijons and the Maryams. On canon, Dolorosa is the mother figure and the guardian for Signless, but in this au that is not the case, they are just besties and she is the mom friend. But i still kept the Disciple and Signless relationship.

Mr Vantas had with his ex wife (who is dead), Karkat and Kankri. While the Mrs. Leijon had two daughters with a boyfriend she had, who left her when she was pregnant of Nepeta and Meulin was 6. When Nepeta and Karkat were 18, their parents ended up marrying each other, and at this point Nepeta didn't have a crush on Karkat, she was more obsessed with matchmaking him with people. It was weird on the first couple of months, but soon everyone was cool with living together, and though Karkat and Kankri still have just their dad's last name, and the Leijons have only her mother's last name, they agree on being Vantas-Leijon.

And imma leave at this for now, this is the first of some info dumps imma do. Hope whoever read all of this finds it fun, it sure was fun to write.

#homestuck #homestuck au #humanstuck #humanized au #homestuck human au #infodump #goblin nonsense #i love making things way too complicated <3

[tomatograter]

The Hitchhikers Guide to Your Ex-Boyfriend

Updated just yesterday! It’s a really fun post-canon fic focused on Jake, brain ghost Dirk, & a concerned third party in Jake’s brain pushing against the current turn of narrative events. It makes a great read if you like the harley-englishes in any capacity, so you should definitely read it, imo

#homestuck #dirkjake #dirk strider #jake english #brain ghost dirk #fic rec #thanks dis for mine own life #incredibly excited to see this in motion #THGYEB #The hitchhikers guide to your ex-boyfriend

[deer-hearted]

so what if on Earth C every year on Christmas Eve Jake and Hal visit their friends’ houses and sing inappropriate christmas carols at inappropriate time (the whole thing is orchestrated by Hal to piss everyone off, Jake is just enjoying himself and his bonding time with Hal)

#i don't even wanna talk about anatomy and perspective here #my art #homestuck #jake english #lil hal #dirk strider #jakehal #haljake #dirkjohn #but it's implied though #and dirk is like #ah the worst people in my life #my ex boyfriend and bff and one of my splinters #referenced dirkjohn

[sarcasticmothdraws]

genuinely think dirkjake soccer was made to cause drama between american and british fans because dirk is american and would say soccer whereas jake is. yeah. so would probably call it football. social experiment etc etc where's the dirkjake anime break up soccer football fanfic though. that's the question. someone's gotta exploit that gap on the market.

You're probably 100% anon but it still boggles my mind

Because, yeah, of course my first thought after reconciling with my ex-boyfriend after beating the sadistic bullshit version of sims is to play a good ol game of soccer/football even though neither of us ever played or showed an interest in sports.

#and before any of yall try to point out swords or good ol wrasslin' shoosh you know what i meant

[vriskaserketdaily]

What is your opinion on Dirk and Vriska's friendship what is your take on their dynamic?

in two words: mutual disdain

in more than two words: this post is great in contrasting vriska and dirk from each other, but it leaves out a crucial difference between the two that would definitely perturb dirk: vriska has a body count.

now, whether or not vriska WANTED that body count or the morality/culpability of her actions is a topic for another post (and has been hashed to death by people much smarter than me i'm sure). the fact remains that she's got a lot of blood on her hands and seriously maimed at least one person with the explicit goal of making him "stronger."

much like vriska, dirk also puts the people around him in danger to make them "stronger," but (like jigsaw, from the saw movies, which bro (beta dirk) canonically loves) the danger is actually survive-able (ok i havent seen saw but dave and jake both very much survived despite Everything). while the victims of dirk's machinations get hurt, i believe that (in the case of alpha dirk, at least) hurting people was never his intention. mind-controlling someone off a cliff, on the other hand . . . girl what did you really think was going to happen?? hello????????

the chances of dirk learning this about vriska are incredibly slim, but that's not all it would take to sour her appeal. from being manifestly against personal growth and unable to admit that anything is wrong (see above post) to repeatedly insulting his sort-of ex-boyfriend to preferring pirates over ninjas, there's a lot of things about vriska that could piss dirk off.

and vriska's thoughts on dirk? a lonely boy who builds robots which he then spars with? a "pseudo"-intellectual who likes pony cartoons for children (and horses/ponies in general)? who's obsessed with ancient history and has some kind of deal with (performative?) masculinity? this is equius 2 junior, and vriska did not like her neighbor.

sure, she owed equius her life, but the few times she talks about/to him she finds him weird, creepy, stuffy, and stuck-up. much like how she mapped tavros' qualities onto jake, i think she'd likewise map equius' onto dirk, regardless of the superficiality of their similarities. this would not set them up for a great friendship.

vriska calls dirk "dink" to his face when she finds out he's a brony.

do i think they could, possibly, be friends? not really. if they hung out at all, it would probably be on the account of mutual friends or in larger gatherings. i don't think they'd vibe with each other and that they'd struggle to find common ground, but would tough it out for the sake of their friends. would they be kismeses? again, probably not. 1) because they both have their own shit and 2) i think it's funny if dirk is categorically against quadrants because he views them as a form of colonization (if condy tried to make humans reproduce with buckets, it's not a stretch to assume she also made them adopt the quadrant system).

would they act like kismeses? maybe, enough to make karkat foam at the mouth because isn't vriska supposed to be shoveling coal with rose? but nah bro they're not giving each other spade-eyes they just straight up do not like each other and find each other insufferable and unpleasant to be around.

it is my headcanon that after a particularly eventful memorial day barbecue, john makes them get a restraining order against each other, and the novelty of being in an avoidance relationship brightens dirk's day. vriska is also relieved to have an excuse to not be in the same room as him. love and light <3

#vriska serket #dirk strider #long post #daily vriska serket #mod 8 #vriska #dirk #daily vriska #homestuck #homestuck vriska #homestuck dirk #vriska homestuck #dirk homestuck #text #might change my mind on this later ahaha #but i think it'd b rly sweet if dirk was enamored by the fact that there r now so many ppl on earth #that he has the luxury of avoiding one on purpose

[dirkjakeweekly]

DIRKJAKE FIC RECS

This is a rebloggeable version of our sidebar page reproduced in full, for those who prefer to save things on their own blogs for later!

INTRO

This page is not intended to be an encyclopedia, but rather a non-exhaustive list of a few Dirkjake Fanfics (and Fancomics) for those that may be interested in the ship, but a little too tired of trawling through AO3 search! Some of these contain NSFW or suggestive content, viewer discretion is advised.

[ FIC RECS (last updated Jan 2021, click readmore for full list) ]

It’s only a canvas sky

Their guardians dead at the hands of the Condesce, growing up in the shadow of her slow takeover of the Skaian Federation, Dirk Strider and Jake English have spent their whole lives alone up until shortly before their twelfth birthdays.

Or: Dirk fixes a transmitter, makes a friend, builds a robot, and tries to communicate affection over distance to the barest possible minimum.

Read here!

GOD’S BRAND NEW FATE SELECTOR (Fancomics)

In ONE PARTICULAR TIMELINE, detached from many similar ones, an aspiring divorcee stands by his baby’s cradle and attempts to hatch an escape plan with some aid from the ghost of his long-deceased boyfriend. He’s not exactly helpful.

SOMEWHERE ELSE ENTIRELY, Dirk Strider is overcame by the nagging feeling his splinters may be getting a little out of hand and far too into his head, when he gets a booty call.

One timeline is Epilogues-Compliant, another Epilogues-Divergent. 

Read here!

We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit)

It’s been about a year since the big Fast Forward, and sure, things on Earth C aren’t perfect for everyone. But they’re fine. Really. It’s fine. Everything is super fuckin’ swell, and that’s that.

It’s not like one night is going to change anything.

Read here!

Perpetuity

“Call it a car crash waiting to happen, you’ll just call it your downfall”

Dirk is a romantic, just not a particularly optimistic one.

(Written pre-epilogues release, post-game, fix-it)

Read here!

Tailspinning Into the Epilogues with Dirk and Jake (complete series)

Read here!

Stark Nonfiction (Part of the Tailspinning series)

Jake tries his hand at a gentler epilogue.

Read here!

Between the Lines (Part of the Tailspinning series)

“It’s just… I can’t remember the last time I felt so at peace, I guess. It was such a lovely jaunt with Jade, and instead of being all torn up about coming home, I feel even better, now. It’s actually been a real while and a half since I felt… bad, you know? Like actually bad.”

You don’t have much in the way of emotional permanence about that sort of thing. Surely it was months ago, when you were staring gloomily at the bottoms of bottles like the world’s most up-his-own-ass useless overdramatic dilettante. Did it even really happen, if it all, in hindsight, just seems like a dumb pantomime of misery to get attention? A successful dumb pantomime of misery to get attention, mind you, you definitely got it, and a boyfriend to boot. Was it ever really as atrocious and apocalyptic and unsurvivable as it seemed?

Read here!

A Palate Cleanser (Part of the Tailspinning series)

ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn! ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy

The eulogy we missed on Candy’s page 15.

Read here!

Eschewal

“you hope he’s a benevolent god”

Read here!

Grublr. (Fancomic)

In the consort kingdom, atop of the large, humongous mansion where the god of Hope lives, there is an apartment complex.

Read here!

The Hitchhikers Guide to Your Ex-Boyfriend (Fancomic)

Jake English waking up sore and alone on a cold floor is not a strange occurrence for him as of late. The ethereal beam of light and sluggishly churning floor is new, but he’s woken up in stranger places.

If circumstances were better he’d probably have something shocked and relevant to say about this strange landscape he’s found himself in, but circumstances are in fact legendarily shit right now.

(A comic/fic where Jake English gets rights)

Read here!

The Four Kings, the God Thief, and the Black Diamond Pirates

Dirk and Vriska have it good. They raid ships, pillage merchant vessels, constantly poison each other, possess a lucrative pact with the Wind King, sing a lot of dope fuckin’ sea shanties, and captain a loveable crew of pirate scum. They’re ready to kick back, take it easy, and become the vile and revered scourge of the diamond trading line.

Then they find someone in the water.

Read here!

Sea shanties for Thots (Four Kings continuation)

Jake English has never done anything wrong, ever, in his life, if you don’t count literally all that stuff from the first installment of oxfordRoulette’s diegetic-musical-cum-found-family-pirate-AU. Luckily, that was in the last story, and he is completely better now in all respects. None of that nonsense is a thing anymore and it will not be relevant at all! Surrounded by friends and allies, with a very cool piratey boyfriend and a hold full of treasure from his recently decimated country, he’s got everything a fellow could want.

What will he do?

Befriend an octopus god. Learn to fish. Kick back. Take it easy. Kiss his boyfriend a lot. Open a jewelry company? Pursue immortality. Confront his past. Embrace his future. Maybe save the world. One thing’s for sure: there will be a lot of songs involved.

Read here!

Two idiots at Homoville, N69, TX

In a moment of desperation, Dirk goes on r/relationships. Things get oversharey real quick. He types as follows:

“I [23M] cannot understand my [24M?] roommate. He is the most bizarre man to ever set foot on earth and I’m afraid I’m losing him.”

or, and They Were Roommates.

Read here!

Drive it home with one headlight

Some mistakes are so fucking big that they divert the path of your life entirely, sending you somewhere you were never meant to go. Some mistakes are so seismic and so obvious that when you look back on your life all you can see is the beacon where you made them. Some mistakes leave you so far off course you don’t even recognize who you are or why you’re still here.

You don’t usually get a chance to make amends.

Read here!

A Tallied List of Various Occasions in Which Jake English Encountered the Elusive Smile Belonging to One Dirk Strider

Jake English, explorer extraordinaire, tracks down the most unique treasure of all: a nerd in pointy sunglasses.

Read here!

BONES OF BLACK MARROW

Dirk summons a demon for the exclusive purpose of ‘cathartic boning.’ He gets what he wants.

NOTE: This fic is ergodic (think House of Leaves), which means it cannot be downloaded for offline perusal on your kindle/pdf reader. Also has CYOA elements, so clicking “Entire Work” will make the fic impossible to read.

Read here!

fire fly

A wedding. An anxiety attack. A daring tryst.

Read here!

DIRK TOPS (Fancomic)

Ever think about how Dirk Strider got full narrative awareness of the fanfics where he’s the big scary hunk in charge and went “I can do that” when he wasn’t, in fact, able to do that? i do. i think about that.

Read here!

MLM stands for Moron loving Moron (Fancomic)

aren’t you TIRED of longing? don’t you just want to go APESHIT while dating your best bro? i mean, you’ve earned it, right? (Collection of oneshot comics. marked as complete, updates whenever)

Read here!

fist is a four letter word

Jake’s face quirks. “App?“ 

“Yeah, app. Like, application. You know your phone can do other things right? Like, apps.”

“You sure do keep using that word! I’m not quite sure I understand what you mean.”

“You know, apps.” You try to think of how to explain apps. You suddenly can’t think of what apps are.

What’s the name of an app.

Literally just name any app.

He’s staring at you.

Oh my god.

Read here!

Witching Hour

There’s something almost magical about that time between too late at night and too early in the morning. It’s the perfect time to meet a stranger and go on an adventure.

Read here!

#homestuck #dirkjake #dirk strider #jake english #homestuck 2 #fanfics #Sweet Picks #fancomics

[thewebcomicsreview]

What’s that? I’m talking about Homestuck too much lately? Well, too bad, it updated and I’m-a livebloggin’ it. This chapter contains a content warning for child abuse and I’m thus putting the rest of this post below a Read More, though I’m live blogging and don’t know what the child abuse content actually is. 

Looks like we’re with Jane, so this might be the chapter with Yiffy in it! But probably not, because they’re gonna drag it out. Incidentally, since the rebellion consists of two max-level characters, four god tiers (John, Jake, Rose, and Jade), and now Vriska who is the 8est fighter 8y far, how does Jane even stand a chance? Good thing for her that she pre-emptively took a hostage! 

JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.) JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I do like that Jane, a genocidal human-supremacist dictator, is worried about being “inclusive” in her propaganda. I wonder if she’s starting to drift from Trumphitler into Nancy Pelosi, now. Also interesting: She’s apparently using Gamzee’s death for propaganda value, cool and all, but her superpower is literally raising the dead. I can buy that Jane would rather use her ex-boyfriend for propaganda than revive him, but won’t the people of Earth C have questions? 

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

I realize that Yiffygate made the patreon rocket to the stratosphere, but I hope we’re not actually getting to see her so soon. It’s more fun to speculate. For instance, she’s apparently getting meals in a dog bowl. Is that because she’s literally half dog, moreso than Jade, and is feral in some way? That’s been hinted at a little, but it’s also possible Jane’s just tormenting her to be a bitch. As we saw when she was Crockerfied in Act 6, Jane’s got a bit of a sadistic streak in her.

Well, that was answered pretty fucking fast! Okay, let’s not click next just yet. If we’re only getting one panel to speculate, let’s milk it like a dying webcomic franchise: Preppy bording school outfit, but with cleats, so she’s apparently an athlete. Lots of pink highlights on her outfit (shoes/socks/tie). She’s got a black dog tail, but appears to have light hair? I like this design, actually, or what little of it we’re seeing. I was half-expecting Yiffy to be a full-on Deviantart parody, but I think the angle we’re going here is “a mostly normal girl, besides being part dog, who’s just been absolutely shit on by life and every adult she’s ever encountered”. It’s not her fault her name is Yiffany, y’know? She didn’t ask for this. 

Let’s see how right I am.

JANE: Well, go on then. JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

The fact that this chapter had a content warning for child abuse makes this read a lot more “Yikes” than it might’ve otherwise.

DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???)

I feel like this is actually worse than if Jane put the food in a dog bowl to torment Yiffy.

I told you we’d fall in love with her. I told you dog.

....I don’t know if the MSPA art style lends itself to slightly raised camera angles like this, it looks like Yiffy’s face is 50% forehead. 

*Lore hat on*

Okay, first off, dick move electrocuting a child. That out of the way. Yiffy is communicating in wolf howls (she must be a big fan of Toast, from my webcomic Saffron and Sage!), but she’s also literally being electrocuted so lets cut her some slack. What’s more interesting is that her Awoos are in red. 

Vrissy shares a font color with Vriska, who she’s trying to emulate. They even use the same CSS class in the site code. Tavros shares his with Gamzee, his abusive uncle (and doesn’t have the same CSS class). Harry Anderson has a unique font color that’s pretty close to his dad’s, but isn’t quite the same (possible to make Harry/John chats more readable, whereas Vriska and Vrissy being hard to distinguish is the joke?). Yiffy, however, does not speak in either Jade’s green or Rose’s purple, she speaks in red. It’s a unique shade of red, I checked, and while it could potentially be in reference to Dave, let’s get real

Obviously, she’s the new Handmaid. This was obvious enough that I was making that comparison even before we learned her red text and rebellious personality. So I’m starting to see what they’re going for here (and, god help me, I’m starting to come around to Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley as a concept). She’s not a one-dimensional joke of a character, she’s just a normal girl having a fucking rough time of it right now and also always. Speaking of time, red is connected to the Time aspect, which isn’t confirmation of anything but a little note to put in the back of your pocket.

Also to put in your back pocket, Jane’s the new Condesce and Yiffy’s the new Handmaid. The Condesce killed the Handmaid. 

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over.

That’s some efficient expositing! 

Man, I really am coming around to this Yiffy thing, holy shit. I actually think her reveal last chapter was actively designed to get fans to hate the concept as much as possible, and not just from a Controversy Creates Ca$h kind of way (though that didn’t hurt).The entire fandom has been calling Yiffy a disgusting mistake for three weeks, and now here’s Jane doing it, and we’re being asked to consider this from Yiffy’s perspective: Given a stupid name as a joke, shunted off to boarding school by parents who were ashamed of her existence, repeatedly told she’s a disgusting mistake and tortured, even the fans all hate her on sight, and she literally hasn’t said a word yet! That’s....legitimately pretty cool writing, right there. A deft and entirely intentional juking of the fandom’s emotional state to get us to hate a character conceptually so that now when the comic’s trying to get us to sympathize with her it’s an easier sell because we feel a bit guilty. I dig it. Shit like this is why I still read Homestuck, it can be very clever at times, even now.

(Pierced ears, in case the punky aesthetic wasn’t obvious). Also, the page with a gif of everything going dark as Yiffy passes out has a black background, which is a nice touch.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Then we cut to a chatlog (with the all-black background, which is just really nice here at selling the mood), and even Vrissy doesn’t want to talk about Yiffany.

AG: It was Cute, 8lright???????? AG: Or, at the very least, a 8*cketload less vomit worthy than everything else that Went Down with our parents.

She’s “vomit-worthy”

I think the update that introduced the Candy Kids was the most enjoyable, but this was, by miles, the best thing to come out of the Homestuck EU. It completely redeemed everything this comic did with Yiffy so far and made it all work. And this black-background-no-image gimmick, while simple, was shockingly effective at conveying the lonely empty mood they were going for (admittedly it probably helped that I was already listening to spooky music), and it’s something Homestuck had never done. This was....

This chapter was great. This was Act 5 great. Like, it’s literally just beating up a child for a whole chapter, but in terms of getting the emotional response they wanted, this is Homestuck at its absolute best. It wasn’t just “here’s a cute girl, let’s beat her up a bit for sympathy”, all the stuff in the last chapter, infuriating the fandom like nothing I’ve seen in webcomics in years, Jade’s dog dick, it was all for this. It was all to get us predisposed to fucking hate Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley so that they could flip the switch and make us love her, make the very fact that we hated her so much part of the reason we love her now. No other webcomic would do that, no other webcomic would have the balls to do that. This is why I read Homestuck, this is why I’m still hanging on to this rock has the wave of cheating dog dicks keeps smacking me in the face. This is avant-fucking-garde, man. I’ve done a full 180 on Homestuck 2. I’m sold. I stan. I’m Homestuck trash again. 

EDIT

Oh, and Vrissy suddenly passed out mid-sentence right around the same time Yiffy passed out (hmmm!), and apparently she’s narcoleptic like Jade (hmmm!)

#Homestuck #Homestuck 2 #Homestuck 2 Liveblog

[originalhomestuckscenarios]

More about requests! Please read before requesting. (Sorry for tagging ships I write for!)

What I will do:

Single character headcannons (it *is* very likely that they will be ultra short)

Ships (list is below)

Of course boyfriend/girlfriend scenarios (since this is main topic of this blog)

Angst

Fluff

Au’s (please add description if requested)

I will try to keep it gender neutral but if you will ask for certain gender and it will be necessary to plot I will include it

Bloodswaps Humanstucks etc

Something slightly perverted

There is a possibility that I will break my own rules (for example I might complete request with ship I’m uncomfortable with) it will mostly be a one time thing so if you are reading this after I complete request of ship on uncomfortable list there is a huge possibility that I simply won’t write it for you sorry but I don’t want to write something I don’t like

Crossovers

Matchups (rules of matchups will be under ship list)

Character/Ship reviews

What I won’t do

NSFW

For now Hiveswap

Ships on uncomfortable list

Yandere

Oc’s

Incest

For now no black quadrants

Ancestors

Ship list

Even tho I want to keep this blog as an x Reader scenarios… This is list of ships I mind and don’t mind writing for. If your ship isn’t on the list there are only 3 possibilities

I forgot about it

I don’t know that this exists

It’s from Hiveswap

Ships I like and will willingly write (Red- I wont list pale ships tho)

Karkat x Nepeta

Porrim x Cronus

Jane x Gamzee

Equius x Aradia

Aradia x Feferi

Nepeta x Feferi

Aradia x Sollux

Sollux x Feferi

Feferi x Eridan

John x Roxy

Vriska x John

Vriska x Tavros

Karkat x Terezi

John x Dave

Meenah x Aranea

Rose x Kanaya

Dave x Terezi

Mituna x Latula

Kurloz x Meulin

Damara x Kankri

Dave x Jade

Dirk x Jake

Vriska x Terezi

Gamzee x Feferi

Cronus x Damara

Nepeta x Terezi

(Not too sure about that) Sollux x Karkat

Ships I won’t write about (Yet again refering to red ships)

Dave x Karkat

Eridan x Sollux

Kurloz x Mituna

Kankri x Cronus

John x Karkat

Roxy x Jane

Horrus x Rufio

Rules of matchups

Keep in mind that it’s my first time trying this kind of thing (with Homestuck characters) and I don’t promise to give you God knows how accurate respond.

Please include:

Your sexuality and gender.

Your interests.

If you want something more specific (ex: matchup with Dancestors) please say so if not don’t say anything.

Say if you want 1 match up aka “The one” or multiple match ups (max 4 per person).

If it gets too long you can send few asks and if you are on anon write 1/(number of asks you are sending) for first part so I can know its you.

If authors notes are in pink it means matchups are prioritized if not they are treated like request and you have to wait longer.

Groups

Betas: All beta trolls all beta kids

Alphas: Alpha kids and Dancestors

Red team: Karkat Terezi Vriska Tavros Gamzee Kanaya

Blue team: Sollux Nepeta Equius Aradia Eridan Feferi

Of course you can ask for (group) girls/boys only. This is here so you don't have to type so much while requesting i guess.

~Mod Kanaya

#ohsrules #Katnep #Crorim #Janzee #Equara #arafef #fefeta #arasol #solfef #erifef #roxygen #johnvris #tavris #karezi #johndave #les8ifins #rosemary #daverezi #mitula #kurlin #damkri #davejade #dirkjake #vrisrezi #gamfef #crodam #neprezi

[dafukdidiwatch]

Dirk is fucking rallying his ex-boyfriend to keep believing will move you to tears

If Jake’s lame interruptions doesn’t make you laugh first

#dafukblog #homestuck #act6.6 int2 #hs312