#Javier Peña | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghostofaboy · 2 days

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... Your Call Is Important

Summary: Dave, Marcus and Javier continue their day together. (Direct Sequel to Hold Please…)

Pairing: Dave York/Javier Peña/Marcus Pike Rating: Explicit | Word Count: 2457 Part 2 of 2

Warnings: Oral sex, anal sex, double anal penetration, threesome - m/m/m

Note: This has not been beta read so I apologize for any mistakes. This is a fic with gay/bi characters. Please make sure you’ve read the warnings. Dividers: @saradika-graphics

As he rested on the large hotel bed, Dave found himself watching the tiny dust motes float through the air. Beside him, Marcus lay panting, his head tucked against Dave’s neck as the younger man came down from his stifled orgasm. The cool air of the room sent goosebumps dancing across their skin as their sticky, sweat drenched forms remained tangled together after the activities moments earlier.

“You doing ok?” Dave murmured into Marcus’ hair, his gazed drifting down to the younger man’s still painfully erect cock, held in place with a black cock-ring.

“Yeah.” Marcus shifted his head to look up at Dave, his beautiful brown eyes looking darker than ever with dilated pupils almost erasing all color. “I’m good. Fuck, I wanna cum though.” Marcus laughed nervously, and Dave couldn’t stop himself from planting a kiss on his forehead.

“You will, baby boy. You just have to be patient and let us old men get a second wind.”

“Who you calling old?” Javier muttered, striding back into the bedroom and throwing a hand towel over to Dave. “I’ll be good to go soon enough, precioso.” Javier threw Marcus a wink, cheekily waving his soft cock at them both.

“You haven’t changed at all, Peña.” Dave chuckled as he gently began to wipe the cum from Marcus’ face. “Still the same bullshit and swagger as always.”

“I could say the same to you, York.” Javier climbed back onto the bed and settled down next to Marcus, propping himself up on his elbow. “You still have to be in charge, don’t you?”

“You used to like me being in charge.” Dave threw the sticky towel back at Javier, who threw it down onto the floor, glaring. “Or at the very least you never complained when I’d have you cumming on my cock.”

“Listen,” Javier frowned, pointing at finger at Dave. “I don’t need another round of-”

“How did you two meet?” Marcus cut in, shifting to sit up. “You promised to tell me and well, neither of you are perking up just yet, so we have the time.”

“So rude, baby boy.” Dave chuckled, shaking his head, looking down at his still flaccid cock. “But, you’re not wrong.”

“You want to tell the story, I assume.” Javier smirked as he idly stroked his dick.

“Well, I’ll start.” Dave grinned. “We were both at god awful joint departmental function and-”

“It was for charity.” Javier interrupted. “And it wasn’t that bad. Just, well, you know how these things are… just boring.”

“Right.” Dave rolled his eyes. “Anyway. I’m trying not to drink myself into a coma just for something to do when I spot this one.” Dave nodded his head towards Javier. “He was flirting up a storm with a very disinterested intern, and so-”

“She wasn’t an intern.” Javier scowled. “Fuck York, you make it sound like she was just a kid. She was a junior administrative aid, and for the record, she was very interested.”

“I thought you were letting me tell this story, Peña.”

“Well, you’re fucking telling it wrong.” Javier shrugged.

“So what happened then?” Marcus gave a small laugh. “After Dave spotted you?”

“Look, long story short, we ended up blowing each other in a side room.” Javier waved his hand dismissively. “After that we hooked up every few weeks until… until we didn’t.”

“Well, that’s a shitty version.” Marcus shook his head. “I want the long story, not the cliff-notes.”

“And I want to fuck you again.” Javier reached over to pinch Marcus’ nipple, before locking eyes with Dave. “And I’m ready to go again, viejo.”

Dave’s eyes wandered down Javier’s body and sure enough, jutting out proudly, was the other man’s growing erection. Glancing over at Marcus, Dave was just in time to see the young man lick his lips in anticipation before smiling at Javier.

“I’ll tell you the full story next time, baby boy.” Dave purred into Marcus’ ear, kissing the younger man softly. “And fuck you, Peña, I’m ready.”

“Please let me cum this time.” Marcus gestured down to his trapped cock, his smile growing in relief as Dave nodded.

“I got you.” Javier stroked a hand down Marcus’ face, gently cupping the younger man’s jaw, before leaning in for a long tender kiss.

Dave watched for a moment as his two lovers melded together, Javier’s tongue darting into Marcus’ mouth, all the while pumping his cock. Dave shook his head, allowing himself a smirk at Javier’s determination to get hard before him. The man never changed. And that was enough to wake Dave’s own member, and as he reached over to free Marcus from the cock-ring, Dave felt his dick twitch awake.

Marcus sighed into Javier’s mouth as Dave released him, tossing the ring onto the nightstand. Settling back onto the pillows, Dave watched and waited for the other two men to part, trying to push away the feeling of jealousy that tugged at the back of his mind. The softness that Javier poured into Marcus was something he and Javier never had, and something Dave could never allow himself to give to the younger man. Finally, Javier pulled back, smiling down at Marcus, their eyes locked on each other before they eventually turned to Dave.

“You good?” Dave forced himself back into the moment, pushing down any bubbling feeling, instead tugging on his erection.

“We’re good.” Marcus smiled back at him with flushed pink cheeks, while Javier simply gave a quick nod.

“Wonderful.” Dave reached over, pinching one of Marcus’ nipples hard, pulling a gasp and soft moan from the young agent. “Now, why don’t you come ride this cock and let me fill your ass. Let me add my cum to Peña’s.”

A low groan sounded from behind the grinning Marcus as Javier’s eye roamed down his body to Marcus’ ass, and Dave knew what he was thinking. He was thinking of the load he’d left inside Marcus’ already sloppy hole a short time ago. Perhaps once Dave added his own seed Marcus would be able to hold it in or perhaps, Dave hoped, he wouldn’t.

Swinging a leg over Dave’s torso, Marcus swiftly straddled him, his red leaking tip dripping onto Dave’s stomach as he moved. Over to their left Javier watched with dark, lust filled eyes, his gaze fixed on Marcus as he lined Dave’s cock up with his entrance. Then with a long, obscenely deep moan, Marcus sank down, engulfing Dave in his heat.

“Fuck baby b-” Dave pinched his eye shut for a moment to collect himself as Marcus immediately began to move. “In a rush?”

Placing his hand firmly on Marcus’ hip to still him, and after one final roll of his hip, Marcus stopped, staring grumpily down at Dave. Javier chuckled, shifting on the bed to kneel beside Dave’s head and nudged his cock against his lips.

Locking eyes with Marcus, Dave slowly parted his lips to allow Javier entry, more than a little proud as both men groaned in response. Javier thrust lazily into Dave’s mouth, who flattened his tongue and sucked the tip hard. Held steadily in place, Marcus watched the show, his eyes flicking between Dave’s steely gaze and the sight of seeing the older, sterner agent with a thick dick in between his lips.

Releasing Javier’s cock, Dave began to kiss and lick along the length, pulling hisses and moans from Javier. Still holding an impatient Marcus with one hand, Dave beckoned him forward with the other, flicking the tip of his tongue across the slit of Javier’s cock. With a smirk that made Dave twitch inside the younger man, Marcus slowly leaned forward until he was face to face with Dave.

Then quick as a flash Marcus pounced forward, his lips meeting Dave’s to kiss him sloppily and clumsily with Javier’s girth trapped between their lips.

“Mierda.” Javier growled above them, thrust his cock toward to fuck between their mouths. “Both of you lick it. That’s right… fuck.”

Dave swirled his tongue around the tip while Marcus focused on the shaft, reaching out to fondle and tug on Javier’s balls. Dave kept his eyes fixed on Marcus, watching as the younger man sucked along the length before finding Dave’s lips to give him a slobbering kiss before working his way back up towards Javier's bush.

Satisfied that Marcus wasn’t going to blow his load the second he started to move now, Dave released Javier with a pop, turning his head to look up at the other man.

“I think it’s time to fuck our boy, don’t you?”

Javier frowned for a moment, before a single eyebrow quirked up as he caught onto Dave’s meaning. Glancing at Marcus planted on Dave’s cock, Dave could see the uncertainty in Javier’s eyes. Frowning again, Javier shook his head.

“Are you sure?”

“He can take it.” Dave playfully slapped Marcus’ ass, pulling a surprised yelp and laugh from the young man. “Can’t you, baby boy? Should I send Peña the pictures of you with that red dildo in you?” Looking back over at Javier, Dave grinned, dropping his voice to an exaggerated whisper. “I could fit both my hands in him afterward.”

Javier growled, pulling his cock back and away from Marcus and Dave’s lip, and climbed swiftly along the bed until he was behind Marcus again. From his seat atop Dave, Dave felt Marcus shudder in anticipation as Javier busied himself squeezing out more lube.

“You can take it.” Dave soothed, rubbing gently circles on Marcus’ hip. “We’re both going to fill you and it’ll feel so good when you cum.”

Marcus nodded, making a soft needy sound as Javier placed a hand on his back to push him forward slightly. As Marcus folded himself over, resting his face in the crook of Dave’s neck, Dave watched as Javier lined himself up. Dave could feel the other man’s heavily cock resting against the base of his own. Then slowly, achingly slowly, Javier began to push in.

Marcus arched his back and groaned, a low throaty sound that had Dave biting back his own moans as Javier continued to ease his way in. The sensation of Javier’s cock sliding against his own flooded Dave with a dizzying rush of heat that steadily built as the other man stretched Marcus’ entrance, splitting him open until he was fully buried alongside Dave.

Marcus was panting into the crook of Dave’s neck, making soft whimpers and moans while his hole spasmed around them both. Javier’s face was flushed as he locked eyes with Dave, and Dave understood immediately. Despite all the swagger and bullshit earlier, Javier wanted, perhaps needed, Dave to take the lead.

With a simple nod from Dave, Javier began to slowly and cautiously move. Keeping his eyes fixed on Dave, Javier dragged his cock along Dave’s length, the two men held snugly inside Marcus’ ass. The feeling was electrifying, pulling a strangled cry from Marcus along with a muffled curse.

Javier began to roll his hips, tenderly at first, still wary of hurting Marcus, his eyes gazing into Dave’s. Eventually, Marcus lifted his head up, gasping as he looked over his shoulder towards Javier.

“Please.” His voice caught in his throat as he begged. “Fuck... fuck me. Hard. I want it hard.”

“You heard him.” Dave’s eyes never left Javier’s.

Baring his teeth, Javier bucked forward sharply, plunging his length deep into Marcus before withdrawing and jolting forward again. Grabbing Marcus by the shoulders, Javier began to fuck the younger man, taking control of the pace for him and Dave. All the while, Dave met his eye, feeling the lust inside him build as he watched it inside Javier's dark eyes.

Despite his cockiness, Dave had never done anything like this before, and it was taking everything he had to keep his composure. Every nerve sang with Javier’s thrusts. His head throbbed with the intoxicating fog conjured by Marcus’ soft whimpers. All he wanted to do was throw his head back and howl as he came as the heat took over his entire body. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. So Dave held Javier’s eye and watched as the gruff DEA agent came undone.

Red-faced with his breath coming out in bursts from between gritted teeth, Javier pounded into Marcus, the friction of his cock against Dave’s pulling both men closer to the edge quicker than either had anticipated.

“F-fuck.” Javier stuttered, his hips faltering for a couple of strokes. “I’m gonna... I’m gonna…”

“Me too.” Marcus cried out as he came with a shudder, his muscles tensing around the cocks in his ass. With a cry, Dave felt Marcus spilling himself over the older man’s stomach, before collapsing boneless on top of Dave.

Javier kept his eyes locked with Dave as he came, his hips stuttering as Dave felt his cum flooding into Marcus. Dave was almost sure Javier mouthed something to him, but as his own climax hit, Dave’s vision blurred as he tumbled over the edge. Gripping the bedsheets, Dave arched his back as he emptied himself into Marcus.

“How was your meeting?” Carol’s voice was soft in his ear as Dave looked out of the hotel room window out onto the city streets below him. The sun was just beginning to set, sending streaks of orange flaring out into the sky. “Do you think you’ll be home tonight?”

“We ran over.” Dave glanced over to the bed and the two men fast asleep in each other’s arms. Shifting the phone to his other ear, Dave wandered over to the hard, modern looking chair, running his hand along the smooth gray fabric. “I’ll be home tomorrow. Afternoon at the latest. The hotel is nice, though.”

“Well, that’s a plus.” His wife laughed before a noise in the background caught her attention. “Oh! I have to go, Cindy’s back with the girls.”

“Ok.” Dave sighed at the mention of their neighbor’s name, the woman Carol had been fucking for two years. “You two have fun.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Carol teased, the sounds of the girls in the background getting louder. “You have your fun, I have mine. Say hi to Marcus for me. I’ll see you tomorrow, honey. I love you.”

“I will.” Dave couldn’t stop himself from giving a soft laugh. “Love you too.”

Hanging up, Dave looked over to the bed and the two naked men, finding them both still sleeping soundly. Marcus resting his head on Javier’s chest smiled contentedly as Javier huffed in his sleep. Climbing into the large bed to sandwich Marcus between him and Javier, Dave settled into the pillows, watching the dust motes dance through the warm beams of light while he waited for his lovers to wake.

taglist: @aurorawritestoescape, @vabeachazn, @perotovar, @morallyinept, @for-a-longlongtime

#javier peña #dave york #marcus pike #narcos #the equalizer 2 #the mentalist #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal character fiction #pedro pascal characters

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din-jarring · 1 day

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javier peña in every episode of narcos

2x02 cambalache

he 😗 <3

#pedro pascal #javier peña #narcos #narcos 2x02 #🩸carly screencaps #🩸carly gifs #javier peña in every episode of narcos

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ilovejavierpena · 2 days

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#narcos #pedro pascal #javier peña

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huntingingoodwill · 23 hours

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love is a losing game (j.p.)

masterlist

pairing: jealous! dark! sugardaddyish! javier pena x speakeasy singer! femme fatale! reader

desc: javi meets you, a singer at a speakeasy he’s working undercover at. he becomes consumed by your world of late nights, music, and your callous, cruel love.

a/n: yippee!!! long time in the making but so excited!!!!! reader became a lil evil and they lowkey manipulation olympics each other hehe. also spot the oscar isaac reference oop!! please consider reblogging if you enjoy MWAH!

A whirling spotlight. The low hum of your voice, rumbling through his body like an aftershock. The music, cresting like a wave - high, high, high, but bound to crash.

Javi’s jaw slackened as the moth-eaten velvet curtain stuttered upward, revealing your figure inch by inch. Every glimpse of your skin, tinted iridescent from the spotlight, couldn’t come fast enough.

As it lifted past your eyes like a veil, your fiery gaze set his world ablaze. He should have never accepted this assignment. He was done for.

“You’re done for,” Blue laughed, slapping his cards down on the table.

Javi reluctantly tore his eyes away from you. He looked down at the game before him. He’d lost.

His gaze flickered back towards you, his blown out eyes pricking with tears, stinging as if he were staring straight into the sun. You were so bright.

Blue threw a glance over his shoulder to where you stood onstage, a wolffish smile twisting through his lips.

“Like what you see?”

His smile, like everything else about him, had a sinister edge. Javi would have never hung around the guy if he wasn’t undercover, trying to wheedle information from him.

Blue was the owner of the dingy speakeasy that was a frequent hotspot for the cartel, and right now, he was reading Javi like a book.

Blue smirked. “I’ll take you backstage after the show.”

The corridor seemed to stretch on for miles, before ending in an unassuming door, cracked to reveal a warm, golden light, the husky crackling of an old jazz singer scratching its voice out on a turntable, and your voice, thick and sweet as honey, flowing over it.

Blue knocked. “You decent?”

“Hardly ever.” It nearly knocked Javi over, that voice, the sardonic lilt that revealed your smile to him.

Blue grinned back at him before pulling open the door.

“Who’s your little friend?” Your gaze seemed to sear his skin as you cast your appraising gaze upon him, a smile pulling at your lips. That smile set a pang in his heart. He liked you so much, it hurt.

Javi had to stop himself from revealing his real name in front of Blue, trying to find the breath to breathe out his alias as he shook your hand, the nerves in his fingers firing, your touch electric.

“You were great up there today.” Javi muttered, throat dry as he accepted a cigarette from Blue.

“If you liked it,” you said, striking a match and holding it up to his trembling cigarette, “you should come around and see me another time,” the flame reflected in your eyes, setting them alight. “I know I’d like to see you.”

“You’re darling, you know. Simply darling. Who taught you to be such a darling, hm?” You purred, the overly saccharine words falling flat as you grabbed the bouquet from his hands, tossing it onto your dressing table absentmindedly.

He didn’t mind. The way you brushed your lips against his cheek and the heat of your embrace as you wrapped your arms around him made up for the lack of warmth in your words.

“Now, buy me a drink, won’t you? Oh, and some gum. Bubble, not chewing.” His body instantly missed the presence of yours in its arms as you flounced over to your vanity, placing a record on your turntable. Your eyes lit up as a voice crackled to life from the speakers, in a way he wished they would when they saw him.

He grabbed the cash he needed out of his wallet and tossed it onto your vanity before leaving your dressing room, heading out into the rowdy bar. He’d been there almost every night, and every afternoon, as soon as he could cut out from the office.

It wasn’t about the assignment anymore.

You rose in the late afternoon, when the molten sun shone right onto the sunken mattress that sat in the corner of your dressing room. He loved when you were teetering on the edge of consciousness, body emanating heat next to his under the covers, a secret vulnerability still visible across your face that hardened when you were awake. He always tried to reach your dressing room before that moment, where you’d be liable to smile at him through bleary eyes, and bury your face in the crook of his arm to mumble, “This damned sun. Why can’t we just lie here forever, hm?”

He missed that time today in favour of buying you a bouquet, only for you to toss it aside to get ready for your act.

He opened your door, drink in hand, to find you rummaging through his wallet as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“D’you mind, honey?” You said, barely glancing his way as you picked out some bills from his wallet, “That asshole,” you said, jutting your chin toward Blue’s office, “is increasing my rent. I already live in his hovel, his stupid friends never tip, and he’s still draining me of cash, presumably to buy one of his pretentious suits.” You grumbled.

Javi placed the drink next to you, the glass already sweating, tossing the bubblegum next to it. “Go ahead.”

You smiled at him with adoration, a gaze that melted him completely. “You’re a lamb.” You nuzzled yourself into his side, which was enough for him to ignore as you pocketed some extra money for yourself.

You detached yourself from him too quickly, smacking on a piece of gum as you returned to getting ready. Javi slid his wallet back into his pocket, sinking to the floor to watch you as you fussed with your appearance in the mirror. He loved watching you.

Your busy actions soon slowed, and you stopped completely, eyes flickering from your reflection to the record player that spun endlessly next to you, a contemplative sadness in your eye.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Javi muttered.

He wished he could live in your mind, traverse the secret plains and valleys of it.

You held out your hand, looking at him expectantly.

He reached into his pocket and fished around for a coin, placing it in your hand and watching your eyes fill with the warmth that he craved.

You sank to the floor next to him, taking his bouquet with you as you lay on the carpet next to him.

You plucked a flower from the bunch, twisting the stem in between your hands before methodically beginning to pluck the petals, one by one.

“The music got me thinking.”

“What about?”

“About how much I wish I was her. Had her talent.” You pulled the sleeve from the drawer, eyeing the album cover, a smokey eyed siren with her hair piled atop her head. “Her voice is like air when you’re underwater. She’s the only one who’s got my back in this world.” You sighed.

“You have me.” Desperation broiled in the pit of his stomach.

You snorted, plucking another petal and crushing it between your fingers. “You say that to all your girls.”

“Don’t have any other girls.” This would have been a big, fat lie, in any other circumstance.

But since he’d met you, it had been tunnel vision. The rest of them had all fallen away.

“Don’t lie. I hate liars.” You scoffed, derision curling your lip.”

“I’m not-“

“He loves me not…” you mumbled, plucking the last petals off the flower, “he loves me.”

“I do.” Javi whispered, feeling as if he had opened his chest and gladly served you his heart on a platter.

You twirled the stalk in your hand, the bud sitting naked atop of it, smirking as if he had just told you a joke.

“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have done this.” You pulled your robe aside, exposing the skin that stretched over your collarbone, darkened with a love bite. “You’re a brute, you know. I have no idea what to wear tonight. Nothing I own covers it. I practically need a whole new wardrobe.” You sighed, nuzzling up to his side. “If only I had a fur. I’d feel like royalty.”

“You shouldn’t have.” You grinned as your eyes flickered toward the price tag attached to the coat. Javi thought he could see the almost imperceptible difference in your smile. Not quite gratefulness, but as if you were laughing at a joke. “You really shouldn’t have, darling.” You held the coat up to your body admiring the luxurious, thick pelt.

“Anything for you, baby.” He felt his heart squeeze.

“Anything?” Your eyes lit up, as he moved to slide the coat over your arms and shoulders, wrapping yourself in the monstrously ostentatious coat.

“Anything.” He muttered.

You moved to the floor, lying on your side as you held the coat open, inviting him to join you, wrapped tightly around each other beneath the pelt.

“Come here. I’m cold.” You grinned.

Even with nothing on beneath the fur, your skin glittered with pricks of sweat under the scorching spotlight. You were the most brilliant thing he’d ever seen.

After the show, you slid into the booth he’d perched at to admire you and lose a couple games of poker.

“Quite a coat you’ve got.” Blue mumbled around his stinking cigarette.

“A gift from our little friend here.” Your hand skimmed the side of Javi’s arm as he feigned cool by looking at his cards, the numbers and symbols swimming before his eyes.

“Farewell present?” Blue asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Farewell?” Javi’s fingers tightened around the cards, the waxy surface creasing beneath his grip.

“I must have forgotten to mention it.” You said, a veneer of nonchalance settling over your lie. “I’m thinking of going on tour. Ed, our pianist, talked me into it. I mean, all the real artists I love have done it.”

Javi felt his heart plummet, far, far, down.

“Maybe Europe, or Asia. Ed’s a real intellectual. He studied at a conservatory, knows all about music, travel, culture-“

“Music, travel and culture.” Javi muttered, voice dangerously low as he stared at his cards, enough to burn holes through them. “That’s enough to chase him around the world?” Javi felt the hurt rumbling through his body like the tremors of an earthquake.

“Chase?” He was already wounded by your tone, the smile falling off your face as you spoke the words. “Like that way you do to me? Don’t worry. I still have some dignity left.”

“And I don’t?”

You smiled viciously. “Let’s just say you wouldn’t recognise intellectuality if it hit you over the head.”

His anger teemed, bubbling in the pit of his stomach and boiling over, heat blooming across his chest.

“I forbid you to go with him.” Javi hissed, hand wrapping tight around your forearm.

The look you gave him almost made him wither right then and there.

“It should take you four seconds to walk from here to the door.” You said, voice almost menacingly steady. “I’ll give you two.”

He couldn’t sleep anymore.

Everytime he closed his eyes, your vision seemed to flicker behind them, your voice waking him in the middle of the night.

He’d taken up with an old fling, Carina, whose presence did little to distract himself from you, and was more effective in irritating him with her utter adoration for him.

He was mad with jealousy, envious of the respect you accorded Ed, that you had never given to him. Still, he felt tethered to you, his body dragging itself to the speakeasy, Carina in tow, a desperate attempt to make you feel an iota of the pain he felt.

He knew it was a mistake when you breezed past him, gaze smouldering. “Hello, stranger.” Your eyes flickered towards Carina, lip curling into a smile, her presence the funniest joke in the world. “Hello, beautiful.” You smirked, before slinking away, leaving Javi to watch hopelessly as your back receded into the crowd, a hollow opening in his stomach.

“Who’s that?” Carina whispered, tugging on his arm.

“No one. I’ll get you a drink.” Javi grumbled.

“Stay away, okay?” Carina mumbled, gesturing towards you. “I have a bad feeling.”

He nodded, heading toward the bar. He had just finished shouting his order over the din when he felt a pair of eyes trace over the lines of his body. He saw you, standing in the corridor, obscured from the rest of the crowd. Waiting expectantly for him to fall into your trap.

“‘No other girls’, huh?” You muttered, picking at your nails with a wounded tone that made his heart soar. You cared.

He stepped into the corridor.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, reaching for your hands, the feeling of your hot touch sending a wave of relief rushing over him. “She means nothing. Forgive me.”

You wrapped your arms around him, curling into his body. Your scent was intoxicating.

“I missed you. I want you all to myself.” You whispered.

“I’m sorry. I’ll end it with her, I promise.”

You pressed a kiss to his lips, hand finding purchase in his hair as you ran your fingers through it. Too soon, you tightened a fist around his hair to pull him away, his scalp tingling with a dull ache.

“Does this mean you won’t leave?” He asked, voice soaring with hope.

“Oh, darling.” You sighed, fingers raking through his hair affectionately. “Don’t be stupid.”

He stumbled out of the darkened corridor, squinting into the light of the bar, resisting looking at your darkened silhouette.

He’d get back at you. He’d make you jealous, make you want him as much as he wanted you.

The band played in a roaring crescendo as you stepped on stage, and he made sure to pull Carina close within your line of view. You sang without a care in the world.

As your act drew to a close, he made a last ditch effort to spark envy within you, pulling in Carina for a kiss. She responded eagerly, hand reaching to cup the back of his head, until her motions stilled.

“What’s that in your hair?”

A tiny wad of flesh pink bubble gum, stuck on the back of his head.

“Who put that there?” She whispered, already knowing.

The set came to a halt, the room dissolving into applause as Carina’s face shattered. She watched as you descended the stage, smacking loudly, performatively, on sickly sweet bubblegum, blowing a glistening bubble that exploded with an almost deafening pop as you walked between them.

A smirk played on your face as you bumped into Carina’s side, forcing her to move out of the way to allow you to pass, her eyes filling with hatred.

“Sorry, honey.” You uttered, not feeling sorry at all. “Hope you two enjoyed the show.”

Carina had left him. He thought he might have cared, but he didn’t. The space she had left in his life filled with you, his burning desire, his desperation for you to stay.

He’d push, and push, and push, until he pushed his way into your arms.

Ed was identified by the DEA as a person of interest when Javi planned the raid.

Leaning against his car across the street, nursing a smouldering cigarette, Javi watched through a sheen of smoke as Blue and the club regulars were hauled out of the building.

Your voice thundered, swearing like a sailor as they dragged you out, kicking and screaming. He had always liked that about you. Your feist.

“Let her go.” He ordered, his men loosening their grip on your arms. Your eyes darted about, a caged animal looking for an exit, until they zeroed in on Javi.

“You.” You growled, understanding flashing through your eyes before a cold sheen of fury fell across them. “You bastard!” You reached to shove him out of the way, but he intercepted your arm, forcing you against the wall.

You seethed as he held you to the brick, the rough surface pricking through your clothes. “I’ll kill you.” You reared against him like a feral animal, trying to fight your way out of his grasp.

“I’d let you,” growled Javi, “But you wouldn’t. Not when you only have me left. Where’s your intellectual now, hm?”

Your eyes widened, and you swiveled to watch as Ed was dragged out of the building. He fought hard against the men, but they didn’t respond as kindly as they did to you.

Screaming, you watched as one of them slammed a fist into Ed’s jaw, the other pinning him down as a crimson spray of blood flew through the air.

You fought hard to get to him, but your motions slowed, eyes glazing over as you mimicked Ed’s disillusionment, his exhausted form lying on the pavement.

You looked into Javi’s eyes, and he could detect that vulnerability that he had craved, the strength you had ebbing away to reveal that raw, soft centre he had always wanted to find.

A waft of hot air blew between the both of you, and you looked across the street to see the speakeasy alight, the tall orange flames that sprouted from its windows licking the dark night sky.

Blue’s desperate attempt to be rid of any incriminating evidence.

Slowly, as he held you against the wall, you stilled, too exhausted to fight anymore, or even to stand. You leaned into him, holding yourself up against his body.

He snaked his arm around your waist, holding you tight as the fire glazed over your eyes, a mosaic of colour blooming around you as the orange flames mixed with the red and blue lights of the fire truck.

After the chaos, the air smelling of ash and damp, Javi followed you into the building, silence hanging in the air as thick as smoke. You walked slowly into your dressing room, glancing around the rubble, your pupils as blown and black as the ashy remains of your home.

You reached your record collection, searching through the album sleeves before picking up one in particular.

The dark haired siren’s face was charred, her mysterious eyes nothing more than crumbling dust that blackened your fingers. The record had warped, her once perfect pitch now an off key warble.

You dropped the album to the ground, looking upon the only one who had your back in this world.

“Come on. Let’s go home.” Javi whispered, holding out his hand.

You slowly placed your hand in his, your fingers cold where they used to be so hot, he thought his palm would meld into yours.

Shutting the car door, he pulled you into his chest, chin resting atop your head as he ran his fingers through your hair.

He felt the hot wetness of tears bloom across his chest as your back shuddered beneath his hand.

“I hate you.” You whispered, your voice muffled against his chest.

“I know.”

“I’ll never love you.”

“I have enough love for the both of us.”

“Take me home.”

So he did.

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for-a-longlongtime · 20 hours

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I hope everybody is ready for Friday...

Since it's probably another workday at the Materialists shoot, you know what that means.

This post has been sponsored by Captain Crunch and all the beverages you need

#pedro pascal #the materialists #pedropascal #pedro gifs #javier peña #someone take the internet away from me I beg you #or keep him inside

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morchilluv · 2 days

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or both im sorry i forgot to add it!

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elliespuns · 2 days

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Um, excuse my fucking French, but how the fuck are you so flawlessly beautiful, sir

#pedro pascal #pedrito #pedge #the last of us #tlou #joel miller #joel tlou #javier peña #oberyn martell #the mandalorian #frankie morales

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survivingandenduring · 11 hours

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One hand on the hip. That’s the look.

#pedro pascal #one hand on his hip is his look #pedro pascal characters #javier peña #javier gutierrez #dieter bravo #joel miller #agent whiskey #pero tovar #din djarin #pedro #pedro pascal edit #pedrohub

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cherry-holmes · 20 hours

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Glimpse of a life with Javier Peña

Chapter 16

MAIN MASTERLIST

Summary: Javi and you are back, but the past seems to hunt you. When is this going to end?

SERIES MASTERLIST

Previous chapter

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word count: +5k

Warnings: Angst. Family issues. Mention of father abandonment. Reader’s mother is a b!tch.

A/N: So, we’re moving closer to the end🥲 Stay tune for next chapters! Thank you so much for reading! Hope you like this and can’t wait to read your comments😁

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Fourteen years ago, when Javier ran away from his own wedding with Lorraine, he thought he would never consider getting engaged again. The betrayal he inflicted on Lorraine haunted him, and he couldn't shake off the guilt and shame of breaking her heart. It wasn't that he didn't believe in marriage; in fact, he grew up admiring his parents' strong bond. However, after what happened with Lorraine, he felt like marriage wasn't meant for him.

But now, as he watched you get dressed after making love to you, he felt the urge to look for his mother's engagement ring he had brought with him from Laredo. He didn't, though. Javier wanted to make a formal proposal, after asking your grandfather for your hand. He hadn't decided yet whether he wanted to do it during a dinner at your house surrounded by your family, at a fancy restaurant, or perhaps during a romantic getaway.

Javier knew he wanted it to be special, a moment you would remember forever. Deep down, he couldn't wait to see the look of joy and surprise on your face when he popped the question again, showing you how serious he was. Proposing to you in a hotel bed, right after you both had sex, so randomly, wasn't exactly what he had intended in the first place.

As you tied the waist ties of your dress, he came closer from behind, wrapping his arms around your torso and pulling you slightly up as he absorbed your aroma, hiding his face in your hair. You giggled, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against your back. He was broader and taller than you, and the thought that he could do whatever he wanted with you made your heart flutter in your chest and below.You turned around in his arms, facing him with a smile. His gaze met yours, filled with tenderness and adoration. Without a word, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours.

His arms tightened around you as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. "You're too good for me," he murmured, his voice muffled against your skin. "I can't wait to be your husband," he groaned, placing a wet kiss on the sensitive skin.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you held him close. "And I can't wait to be your wife," you whispered, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head.

He lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours with adoration. "I love you," he promised, as his lips met yours again. His hands held you close as his tongue explored your mouth. You let out a soft moan as you tasted his warm tongue, eliciting a low groan from him.

"We should leave right now before we end up back under the sheets," you murmured against his lips as you both pulled apart to catch your breath.

"Hmm," he purred softly from his chest, his broad hands cupping your ass as he pulled you closer to him. "I wouldn't mind spending a couple more hours; I already paid for the night."

As you stepped back, Javier reluctantly released his hold on you. "As tempting as that sounds," you said, placing your tiny hand on his warm, broad chest to create some distance between you, "we have to get to my house before someone suspects we're up to something improper."

He didn't want to sound sexist, but there was something alluring about the idea of being the one to have taken you to bed, as you had chosen him as your first and only lover.

Javier understood the weight of the expectations and traditions of a Catholic Mexican family, like yours. Growing up in a conservative environment in south Texas, he was familiar with similar ideas about such matters. Your modesty was expected to remain intact until marriage. Yet, behind closed doors, you had entrusted him with your body and soul, and he felt honored to protect you.

Maybe he wasn't the one to talk about prudishness or promiscuity. He wouldn't care if you had been with others before him; he would respect that. But knowing you were only his... Fuck, it was something else. It wasn't about ownership or control; it was about cherishing what was his, treasuring the trust you place in him, and feeling grateful that you chose him above anyone else.

He gazed at you with his captivating damn puppy brown eyes, a slight pout forming on his lips as he leaned in to place a peck on your lips. It took all your willpower not to push him back onto the mattress again.

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Javier was a tough man. As an ex-DEA agent, he had faced death and violence firsthand. Years of searching and hunting down bad guys had shaped the man he was, with his critical and cold demeanor.

However, the mere thought of facing your grandfather to ask for your hand in marriage made him feel more anxious than any operation he had ever undertaken during his days in the DEA. The weight of this step, the importance of gaining your family's approval, weighed heavily on his shoulders.

His hands were sweating around the steering wheel, and he prayed you wouldn't notice. He couldn't help but wonder if your family would welcome him with open arms or if he would meet resistance. He feared what your family might think about his past. Surely you had told them about his job, and his anxiety had him thinking about the kind of immoral things he did more than any great achievements he might have accomplished on duty, if there were any. Not even he could see what those achievements might be. He only saw death and violence in the years he spent in Colombia. He felt his hands stained with blood, both innocent and guilty.

"Javi?" your voice brought him out of his stupor abruptly. "It's green," you added, pointing at the traffic light.

Then he remembered he was driving. "Shit," he murmured as he saw a car behind him and started driving again.

"Is everything alright?" you asked him, concern in your voice.

Javier took a deep breath, trying to compose himself before answering you. "Yeah, everything's fine," he replied, forcing a smile. "Just lost in thought for a moment."

You remained silent for a moment, looking at his side profile while he continued the way you got him to get to your house.

"Listen, I know perhaps everything is happening too fast... I mean, the engagement..." you began, captivating his attention immediately.

His hand reached for your leg, squeezing with reassurance but a hint of worry. "Why? Don't you want to get engaged now?" Javier's voice held concern, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.

"No, it's not that," you reassured him. "I just want to make sure you're comfortable with everything. This is a big step... it's a lot to process, especially with everything that happened."

Javier nodded, understanding your perspective. "I'm nervous, yes," he admitted. "But not because I have doubts about us. I just want everything to go smoothly, especially with your family."

You reached your hand, gently caressing the curled hair at the back of his head. "They'll love you," you assured him. "Everything will be fine."

He glanced at you, a softness in his gaze that made your heart flutter. However, little did he know, you were very nervous too. Not because of your sisters or your abuelo, but because of your mother. You knew her well, knew how she could be judgmental, especially over you. The thought of introducing Javier to her, knowing about his past, sent a wave of anxiety through you. Javi was already nervous, so you didn't want to add more weight on him. You decided not to say anything about your mother to him and hoped for the best.

Your family was spending Sunday evening like any other Regiomontana* family: children playing together, running all over the garden; your sisters and mother chatting and gossiping at the garden table; and your brothers-in-law and abuelo gathered around the grill making carne asada.

You intertwined your fingers with Javi's, guiding him to the backyard. As you approached the gathering, the chatter and laughter grew louder. Your sisters noticed your arrival and waved enthusiastically, beckoning you both to join them. Javier's expression was a mix of curiosity and nervousness, but he managed a polite smile.

"Here come the lovebirds," your sister Silvia sang out, teasing you gently. You couldn't help but blush with a mix of amusement and embarrassment, feeling like a teenager bringing home her first boyfriend.

Your sisters welcomed Javier and called their children to welcome you both as well. Even your brothers-in-law approached to greet him and invited him to join them around the grill with a beer. You knew how much Javi liked to drink, but as it was the first time he met your family, he didn't want to accept it. However, your abuelo stood up from the grill and walked over to greet Javier. "Bienvenido, Javier," he said warmly, offering an open beer. "It's good to finally meet you."

Javier didn't have a choice but to take it, but he looked just a little bit more confident. "Gracias, señor," he replied, his nerves easing slightly in the presence of your kind-hearted grandfather.

With a warm sensation, you watched as your brothers-in-law and grandfather guided Javi to the grill, including him in their chatter. You, on the other hand, joined your sisters at the garden table to chat.

Silvia and Sara didn't waste time sharing their positive impressions of Javi, mentioning how handsome he was, even more so than the couple of pictures you had shown them, and how polite he seemed to be.

Sara leaned in with a mischievous grin. "He seems like a keeper," she teased, nudging you playfully.

"I hope so," you replied with a shy smile.

You fought the impulse to tell them about Javi's marriage proposal, considering it better to wait. After all, he hadn't given you a ring yet. You told yourself that it wouldn't kill you to keep the secret until the real proposal came. You didn't know when that would be, as it was up to Javi to prepare something special. However, the mere thought of Javier kneeling in front of you with an engagement ring made your heart and stomach flutter.

However, your mother, who had been observing the situation with her characteristic judgmental gaze, which you tried to ignore to avoid ruining your day, couldn't contain herself any longer and jumped in to ask, "Where have you both been?"

Your heart sank slightly at your mother's abrupt question, knowing that her tone held more suspicion than genuine curiosity. You knew she knew, somehow, that you just had sex with Javier. You felt an ephemeral anger with yourself for being so affected by what your mother might think about you. After all, you were an adult, and Javier was your boyfriend. Whether or not you were intimate with him wasn't your mother's or anyone else's business. But she would always be your mother, and you never completely get rid of that inner need to have her approval.

"We went for a walk and talked about some issues that concern us," you answered, trying to keep the tone light despite sensing the tension.

Your mother's eyes narrowed slightly, her lips forming a disapproving line. "Just a talk?" she queried, her tone implying that she expected a more elaborate explanation. You recognized that look in her eyes, the one charged with judgment that she had given you since you entered adolescence. It had haunted you for years. Sometimes you wondered if the decision to remain chaste was yours or if it was something she had planted in your subconscious.

You felt a surge of frustration and a familiar sense of defensiveness rising within you. "Yes, just that," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

The atmosphere around the garden table grew tense, with an unspoken tension hanging in the air. Your sisters exchanged knowing glances, sensing the brewing storm between you and your mother.

Little did you knew, it was just the beginning.

Silvia, always the peacemaker, attempted to diffuse the situation. "Mom, come on, they were just enjoying each other after being apart for so long. Can't we just be happy for them?"

Your mother's gaze softened momentarily, but the disapproval lingered. "I just worry about you, hija," she sighed, her voice carrying a mix of concern and frustration. "I hope you're being careful," she added, her voice laced with a hint of warning.

You felt a mix of annoyance and resignation at her comment, a familiar pang of frustration at her overbearing nature. "Of course, mom," you replied, trying to keep your tone neutral.

"You know how things can turn out when emotions run high."

You swallowed the retort that threatened to escape your lips. This wasn't the time or place for a confrontation, especially in front of Javier and the rest of the family. You forced a smile, masking your inner turmoil.

Silvia and Sara changed the subject, which you thanked. A couple of hours passed until the men started taking the grilled meat to the table. Your sisters called their children, and everyone sit around the table. You helped Javi serve everything that was on the table. He seemed a little nervous but in a good way about eating for the first time with your family. However, everyone was being nice to him. Your sisters asked him if he liked the meat and the guacamole, and your brothers-in-law included him in a conversation they apparently had at the steakhouse.

You could sense your mother's eyes on you at times, judging you for bringing your boyfriend to the family dinner.

Everything seemed to go well, even your abuelo exchanged some chattering with Javi. But of course, your mother has other plans.

"So, Javi," your mother said suddenly as she poured orange juice into her glass. "How was Washington?"

"Mamá," you warned her, sighing inwardly, already anticipating where this conversation might lead.

She looked at you with an innocent expression, shrugging. "I just want to know how everything ended," she justified herself. Then, she turned to your abuelo, taking his arm. "Did you know Javi was in Washington because he had legal problems in Colombia?"

Your grandfather looked at you and then at Javier, a expression mixed with confusion and concern. You never tell him about Javi's problems with the DEA, because you didn't want you grandpa to have a misconception of the man you love.

Javier was a hero for you, and you wanted everyone to see him as it too.

Javier's jaw tightened as he kept his eyes on his plate. If your blood had been boiling all evening, now you were sure it evaporate by now.

"I don't think it's s necessary to mention every detail of Javi's work, mamá, " you replied calmly, although everyone could sense the tension in your voice.

Your mother's gaze shifted back to you, her expression unreadable. "I just want to make sure everything's fine if you're going to spend some time with this man," she repeated, her tone laced with a touch of disapproval.

"His name's Javier, not 'this man,'" you interjected quickly. "And we're not just 'spending some time.' He's my fiancé. You don't have to accept it, but please don't interfere in my life."

You felt Javi's knee against yours, a silent gesture of support. The rest of the table leaned in, eager to confirm what you had just said.

"Are you going to get married?" your sisters asked in unison, a mix of surprise and excitement in their voices.

You nodded, and Javi's hand gently found yours, offering reassurance. You smiled tenderly at him.

"Really?" your mother's skepticism was evident in her voice. "I don't see any ring."

"He just asked me; it was kind of improvised," you responded, your voice filled with sweet emotion.

"I see," she said, then added through clenched teeth, "I hope he doesn't use the same."

You fought the urge to roll your eyes, fed up with your mother's attempts to annoy you. However, something about her tone and choice of words caught your attention. Unable to predict what was coming next, you asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, you didn't know?" your mother's voice dripped with false concern. "As I told you, I'm concerned about who you're with."

"Dad, do you remember Aunt Laura from Laredo?" she continued, and your grandfather's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Well, Laredo isn't that big, and Aunt Laura has a lot of free time."

Your abuelo nodded, starting to put the pieces together. She pressed on, "Did you know Javi was engaged?" her tone smug yet probing. "He was. What was her name? Lorraine?"

Your heart sinking at the turn the conversation had taken. "He left her at the altar," your mother declared triumphantly, as if that settled the matter.

You glanced at Javi, a mix of surprise and confusion in your eyes. "Javi?" you asked, turning to him for clarification.

Javi's expression darkened slightly, a shadow of concern crossing his features. "Yes," he admitted. However, he tightened his grip on your hand, yet still gently, as he looked into your eyes and softly called your name. "I can explain everything..."

Your mother's eyes widened with a gleam of satisfaction in them. "See, honey? I'm just looking out for you. You wouldn't want history to repeat itself, would you?"

"Mom, I don't think this is the best place for them to talk about that," your sister Silvia interjected, but your mother was determined to ruin your day.

"Silvia is right, mom, please," Sara added. "This isn't the most appropriate time for such a conversation."

Both of them were trying to save you as you felt like you were drowning in a pool of confusion and humiliation. Everything seemed to spin around you. Even Javi's touch felt like it was burning your skin. When is this going to end?

Ignoring your sisters' advice, your mother persisted, her voice dripping with disdain. "Sara, dear, I'm just making sure your sister knows what she's getting into. After all, we wouldn't want another broken engagement, would we?"

Javi's grip on your hand tightened slightly, a mix of frustration and determination in his eyes. "Please, let me explain," he said, his voice calm but firm. You looked into his eyes once more, feeling your heart ache at the sight of your crystallized eyes.

Your grandfather, who had been silently observing, cleared his throat and spoke up. "Enough," he said, his gaze stern as he looked at your mother. "This is not the time or place for this discussion. Let them sort it out themselves."

You could sense everyone's eyes on you, and you couldn't even look up. Not even at Javier, who was trying to reach you and explain everything. He didn't care about explaining himself to your family—at least not for now; his priority was you. Javi didn't want you to have doubts about him or to question his commitment to you.

How did your mother actually find out about Lorraine? That witch... You had talked about her many times, how judgmental and manipulative she was towards her daughters, especially you, but you didn't imagine she was as bad as that.

Suddenly, you stood up and hurried inside the house. Javier quickly followed suit, calling your name. But you didn't listen; you found your way to the second floor, to your bedroom, and slammed the door behind you.

Javier knocked on the door desperately, calling your name over and over again. He couldn't lose you over this; he needed to explain everything to you. There he was, his past haunting him again.

As he stood outside the closed door, he heard your muffled sobs from within. His heart sank at the sound, a knot forming in his chest and stomach.

"Please, amor," he pleaded softly. "Let me in. I need to explain everything to you."

Just then, he saw your sisters walking through the hallway, their expressions filled with concern.

"I'm so sorry," Sara said to him. "I love her, but our mother can be very controlling at times."

Javier sighed heavily, feeling a mixture of frustration and concern. Inside the room, your sobs had quieted down slightly.

Silvia knocked on the door once more, calling you by the sweet nickname she used to call you when you were little. Maybe you would listen to her. "Don't give mom the satisfaction of seeing you like this. You know her; this is what she wanted."

Silence greeted their pleas. The three of them exchanged looks, silently questioning what to do next.

Sara spoke first, "We should give her a moment; she'll..." but she didn't finish her sentence.

The air suddenly filled with the sound of things falling and glass breaking. Without hesitation, Javier pushed past your sisters and tried to open the door forcefully, slamming his palm against the wood and calling your name in desperation.

"I'm going to break down the door!" he warned, stepping back as your sisters looked at the door with anticipation.

It was easy for him to open the door, pushing it with strength using his arm. When the door cracked open, the three of them rushed inside. Your room looked like a war zone. Items from your vanity were either lying around or on the floor, and your clothes were piled on your bed along with a pair of opened briefcases. You were kneeling in front of your closet, throwing every pair of shoes behind you. One of them had hit a mirror, causing it to break.

As they entered the chaotic scene of your room, Javier's heart sank. He called your name again, gently, his voice laced with concern as he approached you slowly.

You turned to look at him, tears streaming down your face. "I can't do this anymore, Javi," you whispered, your voice trembling. "She's so mean... Why does she have to be like this? She's my mother, why can't she be happy for me for once in her life?"

He kneeled on the floor with you and pulled you into his chest. He felt relief when you didn't push him back but clutched your fists in his shirt and muffled your cries into his chest. Your sisters stood at the doorway, exchanging worried glances.

"Shhh," he whispered into your ear, the warmth of his breath soothing you. "It's okay, bonita."

You pulled apart, wiping your tears with the palm of your hands. Your makeup was already ruined, but you couldn't care less about it. Looking up at your sisters, you asked, "Can you give us a moment? Please." They nodded and assured you they would be downstairs.

After they left, Javier and you stayed on the floor in silence for a couple of minutes. He was trying to find the right words, afraid of saying the wrong thing and making things worse.

"Bonita, I... Please, listen to me," he whispered, his brown eyes softened with concern as he reached out for you.

"Don't worry, we'll talk about it later," you interrupted gently, standing up to walk towards your bed and starting to pack your belongings. "I'm leaving," you said, your voice still filled with emotion. "Please, take me to Laredo with you right now," you begged.

Though he hadn't expected this particular request, he was relieved it was something manageable.

"Of course," he said, nodding. "Of course, baby, whatever you want."

You asked him to help you gather your things, packing everything that could fit into your briefcases and a backpack. You didn't have many things, actually, as you seemed still trapped in Colombia. Since you came back to Mexico, you didn't attempt to settle down, to make your life. You still have the same things you had from your years working in Colombia, like you always knew something you would leave that house with Javi.

When you both finished, he followed you downstairs, carrying the briefcases with him. You were in the middle of the stairs when you already heard your mother arguing with your sisters about how inconsiderate and unfair she was towards you.

With your head held high, you finished descending the stairs. Your brothers-in-law and your grandfather were still outside, making sure the children finished eating while the women tried to contain the situation.

Their eyes were on you as they understood what was going on. Your sisters weren't that surprised, as they already saw the mess on you bedroom. You mother, on the other hand, looked like she was about to explode with rage.

"Where do you think you're going, señorita?" she demanded, her tone laced with disapproval and authority.

"I'm going with Javi to Laredo," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady, but the anger was evident.

Your mother's eyes narrowed, her lips forming a tight line. "Absolutely not," she stated firmly. "You're not going anywhere."

"Por favor, mamá, you have to stop," you insisted tiredly, as if you had heard her a million times before. "Stop trying to control my life."

"I do because you're my daughter, and I care about who you're involved with," your mother added.

Javier wasn't sure if it was because of what he had heard from you about her, but he could sense a condescending tone in her voice, almost hypocritical.

"You don't care about me; you only care about what others might say about the family," you answered, the tears had returned to your eyes, and you fought the knot on your throat.

"You think you know what's best for you, but you're just naive," she said sharply, her voice cutting through the air like a knife. "Leaving home without getting married, disgracing our family name with your reckless behavior. You're lucky your grandfather had some sense to help you, but don't think for a moment that I approve of your choices."

You felt a pang of hurt at her words, the old wounds reopening as her harsh judgment echoed in your ears. Javi clenched his fists, the urge to intervene almost overwhelming as he struggled to maintain his composure.

"I may not agree with all of your decisions, but I will always love you," your mother continued, her tone made her words feel unreliable. "But don't expect me to condone your actions or accept that man you're involved with. This man may seem charming now, but I know what kind of man he is, and you'll see that in time too."

"You don't know him, mom. Javier is not my father," you said firmly, your voice tinged with frustration. "Don't pretend you know Javi."

There was a tense silence after that. Your sisters had widened their eyes, a constellation of memories washing the four of you as a bucket of cold water. No one else but you, your mother and your sisters knew better how was living with your father.

"I don't understand what your father has to do with all this," your mother said, her tone clearly hiding hurt and nervousness.

"I'm sorry he wasn't a good husband, but he wasn't a good father either," you said, the lump in your throat unstoppable. "I know exactly why you're telling me all of this, but Javier is nothing like my father," you insisted. "Besides," you added after another moment of silence, "I don't understand why you're warning me about this when you've spent my entire life blaming me for what happened and wishing I had the same life you had with him."

"Oh, there you go again!" Your mother exclaimed, followed by the sound of her hands against the marble of the kitchen counter. "Playing the victim, as always."

"I'm not playing the victim," you retorted, your voice firm despite the tremor of emotion beneath the surface. "I'm simply stating the truth."

Your mother scoffed, her eyes flashing with frustration. "You always twist things to make yourself look like the innocent one," she accused, her tone dripping with bitterness.

You took a deep breath, trying to keep your rising anger in check. "I'm not twisting anything," you insisted, your voice steady. "I'm just tired of being blamed for things that were out of my control."

"I'll make my own choices, even if they don't meet your standards. Javier makes me happy, and that's all that matters to me."

Dodging her, you walked toward the front door. You were so blinded by anger that you almost passed without saying a proper goodbye to your sisters. However, there he was, your grandfather standing near the doorway, looking at you. You wondered how long he had been standing there, listening to all the drama.

When your eyes met his, something broke inside of you. He was your abuelito, and you were the apple of his eyes. He did his best to give you and your sisters the best childhood, even when your parents' marriage was falling apart. He was the loving father figure you needed. You loved him, and you were sure he loved you back.

So now, as he looked at you standing by the front door, with Javier following you carrying all your belongings, you saw something in his gaze. He was looking at that little girl he rescued from beneath her bed, hiding from her own mother's rage the day her father left.

He was looking at you with the same sad but loving eyes he had when you left for El Paso and then to Colombia, when he realized you were a grown woman making her own way in the world.

But now, he knew you were leaving forever. You were leaving with the love of your life to start your own family on the other side of the river.

"Dad," your mother said, breaking the moment. "You have to tell her something! She always listens to you! Stop this nonsense," she said, pointing at you.

Your grandfather looked at her for a moment, your mother raising her eyebrows at him. Then he looked at you and walked towards you, his hands familiarly gentle on your shoulders. He looked right into your teary eyes.

"Do you love him?" he asked, his voice soft and kind. You couldn't help but let out a gasp, tears streaming down your face at the tender tone of his voice.

"I-I do," you managed to say amidst your tears. "I love him."

"Then you have my blessing, mi niña."

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Author's note:

*Regiomontana/regiomontano: demonym given to people from the city of Monterrey and its metropolitan area. Monterrey is the capital of the state of Nuevo León, whose demonym is neolonesa/neolonés.

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NEXT CHAPTER

23 notes · View notes

dancingtotuyo · 2 days

Text

Scathed 9 (Javier Peña)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: anxiety, trauma, self worth, smoking, idiot(s) in love?, references to the drug war and colombia, Narcos season 3 spoilers

Notes: shoutout to my forever beta reader @janaispunk for looking this bad boy over!

Words: 2923

Series Master List | Author Master List

Journal Entry August 4, 1994 Dear Javi,

There are things I can’t bring myself to say. Even out on the back patio under the safety of the stars, I can’t tell you how scared I am that you won’t come back. It terrifies me. I did life without you for so long, but I’m not sure how to go back to life without you in it. We’re going to miss you alot.

You won’t ever see this, but please come back.

This time would be different. It ran on repeat in Javier’s head as he stared out the large windows that overlooked the buzzing city. New position, new apartment, new drug cartel. This time had to be different; he couldn’t get lost in it like last time. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself to start back at the DEA in the morning.

He unpacked his last suit case, having put it off since his arrival Friday night, the one that contained his few treasures in life. Framed photos from Chucho: the ranch, the two of them, an old family photo with his mom. A crayon drawing from Alejandra: both of them on horses. A bottle of whiskey from Jaime. A journal from Emily.

“To write down all those thoughts racing through your mind. Even the ugly ones,” she had told him.

He set it on the end table next to the family photo with his mom. This time would be different. A silent oath.

Alejandra’s drawing went on the fridge, the bottle of whisky on the counter, and the other pictures on the bookshelf. He looked around. It all felt scattered, empty, nothing like the apartment he’d made for himself last time.

The familiar urge to go out, drink a couple of fingers of whiskey, and take a warm body home crept in. He fought against it. He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. This time had to be different. He’s promised himself over and over again it would be. He promised his dad he would call and write. He told Emily the same…

Could he be here and not let it consume him? Could he be soaked in it all and still talk to her? Be worthy of her friendship? Being here, he felt the sins of his past marring his hands, so real and tangible. The same hands Emily allowed to touch her, what a privilege that was. The same hands she felt safe in.

Javier thought about all the things he used to do when these thoughts raced through his mind when he couldn’t handle the big emotions: bars, cigarettes, sex. Too many times to count. His fingers itched at his side to grab his leather jacket and go.

He paced the length of his apartment running a hand through his messy hair. Then it caught his eye: something sticking out of the journal. He pulled it out.

A crisp envelope with his name written neatly in the middle: Emily’s handwriting. He popped it open. Polaroid pictures. He shook his head thinking about the grief he gave her for carrying that thing everywhere, but a smile appeared on his lips. There was one of him standing in the riding rink as Ale trotted around him on Hurricane. Another taken on the patio just last week: he and the kids eagerly chowing down on popsicles before they could melt in the Texas sun. He could see the red ring around Mateo’s mouth and drip down his chin as the sun beat him. One on the small dock next to the boys and his dad, lines cast into the pond Chucho stocked on the ranch. Javier smiled. Miguelito caught the biggest bass that day. Chucho had been dumbfounded.

He sucked in as he flipped to the last one. It was the picture Alejandra had taken at the park just after he told her he was returning to Colombia. She leaned into him, an ease rarely seen in her. He’d caught a whiff of her shampoo, followed her lead, and leaned in. His thumb rubbed over the picture. He’d put an arm over her shoulder, her hand on his knee it all looked so… peaceful, domestic even, like they were- He cut the thought off, letting the picture fall to his coffee table.

For so many reasons, that was a bad idea.

He padded his pockets, finding the Nicorette gum. He popped the last piece into his mouth. He should grab more on his way to work in the morning.

The Polaroid stared back at him. He looked happy, wrinkles cutting deep around his eyes. He picked the photo back up. He had been happy that day. Happier than he could remember even as he grappled with his decision to return to Colombia. Black ink on the back grabbed his attention. Don’t forget about us, okay? Her handwriting again. Her words to him that day.

He smiled to himself. That was his friend. He wasn’t sure he’d had one of those for a long time. Sure, he and Steve got along, but Steve was back in Miami. They still talked about once a month, but the bond he felt toward this woman was different. He and Steve had been forced together. They had to trust each other. Their lives had depended on it. Javier’s life sure didn’t depend on trusting Emily, but he did. She didn’t judge him. There were still things he hadn’t told her, and vice versa, but he knew when he was ready, he could.

Javier slipped the photo of them into his wallet. This time was different.

He grabbed the phone off the end table and called his dad. The conversation was brief. The last thing he wanted to do was run up anyone’s phone bill, but he could tell his dad was happy to hear from him. He’d rarely received communications from Javier when he was in Colombia the first time.

His fingers hovered over the buttons as he contemplated the second call. He told her he’d call. She told him to call. He pushed past the anxiety, pressing the buttons succinctly. He had it memorized. He checked his watch. It was bath night in the Kuykendall house. He knew that, but usually, the kids were bathed and in bed by now.

Javier smiled as he thought about the few times he’d stumbled into bath night. It was true chaos and an event, but every single person wore larger-than-life grins. It was one of the times Javier felt like he was a part of something bigger than himself, like he’d been brought into something sacred.

“Hello?” Anna answered. He could clearly hear the laughter of children and adults in the background.

“Hey, it’s Javier… I can call back if this is-“

“Not at all.” He felt Anna’s welcoming presence through the phone. “Emily just came out of the bathroom.”

“Bath night.” Javier chuckled.

“Exactly,” Anna called for her stepdaughter. Javier couldn’t hear their exchange over the shouts coming from the living room.

“Javier?”

An ache in his chest eased. “Hey, sounds like a madhouse there.”

Emily laughed and the sounds muted as if she’d shut them behind a door. “Dad seems to have extra energy to chase the kids down tonight. How is it to be back?”

“Strange.” Javier glanced out the window. The city flowed like it always did, people rushing from place to place. “I’ve got a nicer apartment this time.”

“Of course you do, Mr. DEA attaché.”

Javier chuckled. “That sounds too fancy for me.”

“You said the same thing when you bought those suits and I gave you that snazzy new haircut.”

Javier grinned, resting against the countertop. His eyes fluttered shut as he remembered the feeling of her fingers through his hair. His shirt stretched and pulled across his chest as he inhaled. “Still sounds too fancy for me.”

“You ready for your first day?”

“No.”

Her laugh crackled through the line. “Then why’d you go back.”

At that moment, Javier wondered the same thing. He’d much rather be back in Laredo chasing the kids around the living room. “I’m askin myself that same thing.”

“Then do it. Tell the DEA where to shove it and come home.”

He smiled, low chuckle pulling from his chest. “You and I both know I have unfinished business here.”

“Yeah…” Silence sat between them. He could still hear the kids in the background. Javier wracked his brain for the right things to say, but everything he wanted to say he couldn’t. “Finish it quick, okay?”

“That’s the plan.”

“And stay safe. I can’t lose one of my only friends.”

“Oh?” Javier said. He felt an easiness take over him. “What about Lorraine? I thought she was your friend.”

“I said one of, and you’re my best friend anyway.” He can hear her eyes roll. “I mean it though, we all miss you already.”

“Tell the kids I said hi, okay? I’ll call another night when there’s time to talk to them.”

“Will do.”

“Take care of yourself, okay?”

“I should be saying that to you.”

“Em.”

“I will. I promise,” she said. “You too, Javi.”

Journal Entry August 8, 1994 Dear Javi,

I bet you spend all day behind a desk and hate every moment of it. It makes me laugh each time I think about it. It assures me that you’re okay too. Fancier job means a safer job, right?

As his first day back came to a close, Javier felt like he’d been there for a year. When he found the sticky note with the name of a nearby bar on his desk presumably left by Neil, he told himself one drink wouldn’t hurt. This time would be different. The mantra felt almost meaningless already. Similar things had been echoed in his meetings all day. This wouldn’t be like Escobar. There would be law and order and protocol. Politics were more important than ever. The world was watching now.

One drink and then home. That was what he told himself as he sat down at the bar, ignoring his coworkers at the corner table. Pulling off his suit coat, he motioned the bartender ordering a whiskey. He turned down Neil’s invite to join the group. The guy was too eager to kiss his ass for Javier’s liking, put him up on a pedestal for taking down Escobar as if he hadn’t been suspended at the time.

He swallowed the whiskey as soon as the glass was set in front of him. Then, he ordered another. Javier wasn’t sure how long he sat there, but it was too long. He rubbed his thumb over the crease of his forehead trying to talk himself out of the opportunity for stress relief sitting in front of him. The group in the corner had dwindled to two. A blonde he hadn’t met and the brunette he met at the beginning. Neil had introduced her. Karen? Katherine? Katie?… Katie sounded right.

His staring wasn’t subtle, wasn’t flirtatious like he’d used to do it. If anything, it was creepy, staring at her while thoughts raced through his head. The mantra shortened until it was only a couple words as he tried to talk himself out of it. Different. Be different. It echoed over and over in his head.

The bar was practically empty by now. She looked up and smiled at him like he wasn’t being a creep. He didn’t return it, still deep within his own mind.

“Pretty girl.” Javier’s head snapped around to find fucking Bill Stechner of the CIA at his side. He slid onto the stool beside him. “Displays some shaky judgment in men though.” He looked at Javier.

Javier glanced away from Bill, looking over his shoulder as if to convey his annoyance with his whole body before turning back to him. He forced the briefest tip of his lips, the closest thing to pleasantries he could summon for the man.

As most conversations with the CIA agent do, Javier was left with a sour taste in his mouth, the innate craving for a cigarette, and his failures thrown in his face. Then, Stechner laid it all out for him, the way things would go whether Javier liked it or not. Cali’s surrender. The facade of justice for the Cali Cartel. He didn’t like it, any of it, and he wasn’t sure why he came back in the first place, or why they even needed him. The DEA didn’t. He was just a pawn in Stechner’s game.

“Cali will serve some time,” Bill said. He doesn’t look at Javier, keeping his eyes pinned to the bartop. “Technically speaking.”

“And that’s enough for you?”

The look that crossed Stechner’s face is something akin to a blend of annoyance and patronizing as he met Javier’s eyes. “If there were any justice in this world, Javier, you’d be in jail.”

It was only half a second before Javier averted his eyes, the shame of what he did flooding him. He wasn’t the hero everyone acted like he was. Stechner knew that. Javier kept quiet.

“I know your guys are running an operation on Cali tonight.” Bill stood, putting enough cash on the bar to cover his and Javier’s tabs. “I can tell you this, it’ll come up double zeros.” More silence. “These guys don’t make mistakes. You try and go after the Cali bosses, all you’ll get is more bodies.”

Stechner finished off his drink, patted Javier’s shoulder, and walked out without another word, leaving Javier with a bigger stress headache than he came in with. Try as he might, Javier couldn’t push it out of his head. He needed something, a distraction. He wouldn’t survive without one.

Javier finished off the whiskey in front of him. He rubbed his forehead, searching for any relief. Different. It seemed quieter now, further away like his resolve was slipping. He needed to be anywhere that wasn’t here, shut off his brain.

He stared straight ahead, eyes glazing over, shining in the dim bar light as he pinched his top lip between his thumb and forefinger. Different. It felt useless, like he was bound to fail. A whisper of an oath. Maybe there was no different for him.

It was almost instinctual, the way he glanced over, eyes meeting hers. She offered him a soft small now sitting alone at the table, cigarette held between her middle and pointer finger, like she had been waiting for him.

“This is Peña. Leave a message.” BEEP.

“Hi Mr. Javi! It’s me, Ale. I miss you already. You should call me soon.”

“Alejandra, who are you on the phone with?”

“Mr. Javi’s voicemail.”

“Ale, it’s expensive to call Colombia. Hand me the phone.”

“Oops.” She giggled.

A long sigh crackled over the line followed by a pause. “Hey Jav… I guess I’ve paid for the next couple of minutes, I might as well use it. I suppose you’re already working late since it’s after eight. Don’t let them work you too hard, okay? And you should still return my call.” More dead air. “It feels silly to miss you as much as I do. I feel like I haven’t talked to you in days… Oh! I got into that class I was waitlisted for. Anne is willing to work with my school schedule so I still get my hours in at work.”

“Mommy!” A voice calls out in the background as a crashing sound follows it.

“Shit” The machine clicked off.

Javier woke up tangled in his navy sheets with the same stress headache and a greater hankering for a cigarette than he’d had in months. Katie slept soundly on her side next to him, back facing him. Her brown hair spread out over the pillow. She hadn’t tried to cuddle, and thank god she understood what last night had been.

Without a second though, he reached for her purse, careful not to wake the naked woman next to him as he eased into a sitting position. Relief flooded him when his fingers glided over the pack of cigarettes and lighter.

There was no hesitation as he put the cigarette to his lips and flicked the lighter to life. The nicotine flooded his body for the first time in months. Finally, he found some relief.

Journal Entry August 13th, 1994 Dear Javi,

I’m sure it’s nothing. I’m sure you’re okay. Dad said there were no reports of anything happening. You’re just busy, with your first week back and all…

Alejandra asks every morning if you called her back. Mateo asks too. I think he’s hoping for stories of chasing down bad guys. Even Miguelito asked about you.

We all miss you so much.

Javier played the voicemail over and over, but he couldn’t bring himself to call back. He hadn’t lasted a day into the job without reverting to old habits. He’d fooled himself into thinking things could be different, into thinking if he did this the right way, if he brought down Cali the right way, he could be worthy of her one day.

The whiskey burned on its way down.

Journal Entry August 15th, 1994 Javier,

I swear if you went and got yourself killed on your first week back, I’ll never forgive you. I won’t even say any nice words at your funeral. Imagine that, your best friend holding back all the nice things about you. The world can just remember you to be the asshole you showed them.

Seriously though, signs of life would be appreciated.

…………………………………………………………………..

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