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magicalallura-archive · 6 years

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If The Name Fits

for @thaace! Hope you like your Secret Santa gift! And thanks to @vld-secret-santa for organizing this!

Wordcount: 1590

Summary: Trans Guy Keith, from the moment he picks his name, to confidence.

Warnings: transphobia (no hate crimes, just microaggressions)

Notes: My first time writing a fic about being trans! I’m trans myself (nonbinary), but I’m still working through internalized transphobia, so this was very hard for me to write, which is why it’s so stiff (I tried to stylize it but I’m not sure how well I pulled it off). BUT! I’m very happy I got this done! So I’m happy with it and I hope it’s okay!

Keith was fourteen when he picked his name.

He was sitting upstairs while the other foster kids played outside, reading the list of names by the faint window light. It contained all the boy names he knew, though most of them had been striped through. First, he’d stripped the list to just the names starting with a K, then, he’d discarded all the ones that just didn’t feel right.

Finally, he had just three names left, and he’d been agonizing over them long enough that the snow outside had nearly doubled in size.

There was a knock on the door. Quickly, he scrambled to get his geography book on top of his list.

“Yes?” he called out, barely managing to keep his voice from shaking.

“There’s hot chocolate for you downstairs if you want,” his foster mom’s voice drifted through the door.

“Thanks, be there soon.”

“Don’t take too long.”

He heard her high heels clicking away and sighed in relief. He put the book away, and stared at the list, chewing on his lip. Finally, he closed his eyes and pricked a random name with his finger.

Keith.

Keith

“Keith.”

He said it in a whisper, but grinned loudly.

Before Keith left to get his hot chocolate, he ripped the list up into a million pieces and threw them out of the window.

Just in case.

Keith was fifteen when he first heard about Takashi Shirogane.

He was in another foster home, third in four months, and his new foster father was talking about him at breakfast.

“There’s a transsexual astronaut now,” Richard said conversationally over his newspaper.

Transgender, Keith corrected mentally. Gina hummed, more interested in the TV blaring the background, and Nathan, the other foster kid, didn’t even look up from his toast.

Seeing no one else was going to react, Keith slowly perked his head up. “Really?” he said, going for casual.

Richard nodded. “Yeah. She’s about to go on her fist mission. Apparently she won a court case that let her go with an all-male crew.”

Keith frowned. “If she’s a trans girl, why would she want to do that?”

“Trans girl? Is that a girl who wants to be a guy, or...?”

Keith repressed a sigh. “A girl born in a guy’s body,” he answered, which was not entirely accurate, but it’d be suspicious if he knew too much. Besides, it’s not like they’d get it anyway.

“Ah. No, she’s a guy born in a female body.”

“He,” Keith corrected. “If he’s a trans guy, you should use he.”

Richard shot him an annoyed look and rolled his eyes. “It. Whatever, I never know what to call those people.”

“It’s a real step forward for them,” Gina pitched in, “though I am worried about a girl being up in space, all alone with those men.”

“There’s been mixed sex crews before, though, and nothing happened,” Nathan pointed out.

Keith pushed his cereal away, not hungry anymore. “I’m going to school,” he announced, and he was out of the door.

But on his way to school, he stopped and bought the paper himself. He read the interview in one go.

When asked why he’d chosen to become an astronaut, Takashi Shirogane laughed. “The stars are a lot less judgmental than humans.”

Keith ripped out the article and put it in his pocket, grinning wildly.

Keith was sixteen when he got accepted by the Galaxy Garrison. He was also sixteen when he first met Takashi Shirogane, and sixteen when he first came out. Those things were not unrelated.

“I’m trans,” was the first thing out of his mouth when he met him, and immediately Keith wanted to die. He’d meant to just stop Shirogane in the hallway, introduce himself, maybe ask for an autograph, not fucking come out.

Shirogane lifted an eyebrow. “I’m guessing that’s not your name?”

Keith just stood there, paralyzed.

Shirogane smiled reassuringly. “Hey, it’s okay, I’m not going to out you.”

Keith finally unfroze, just to groan. “I swear that was not what I was going to say.”

“Yeah, I figured. So what is your name?”

“Keith,” he said, tasting the name on his tongue. “I’m Keith. But don’t tell anyone else!”

“Of course not. I’m Takashi Shirogane,” the decorated fighter pilot, the first openly trans astronaut, held out his hand and smiled at Keith, “But you can call me Shiro.”

Keith was seventeen when he first came out. Properly, this time.

“I want to change my name and pronouns in the school database,” he said to Iverson, not quite looking him in the eyes, clamping his hands together behind his back in an attempt to keep them steady, “I’m trans.”

Iverson only missed one beat before replying: “Alright, cadet. What name and pronouns do you use?”

When Keith finally came out of Iverson’s office, he practically collapsed in Shiro’s arms.

“Whoa, easy. How’d it go?” Shiro asked, barely managing to catch him.

“Good. He just changed it, no complaining.”

“I told you he’d take it well!”

Shiro tightened his hug and swung Keith around the hall, ignoring his sputtering. “I’m so, so proud of you!”

Keith hugged him back and laughed. He was still too wound up to feel happy, but he was... relieved. He still had to worry about his classmates, but now that he’d make the first step, he felt like he could take more.

He laughed and sputtered as Shiro danced with him like he was a little kid, and felt relieved.

Keith was eighteen when he bought his first binder.

Shiro had given him the gift card for his birthday. “They were also my first binder, and they’re still the best I’ve tried,” he’d explained, and Keith had taken the gift card, feeling giddy even at the thought of buying.

“Still,” Shiro’d warned, “be careful. Binding isn’t entirely safe, and you need to make sure not to damage your ribs by wearing it for too long, or while sleeping, or while training.”

“I can’t wear it while training?” Keith asked, disappointed.

Shiro looked apologetic. “I fucked up my ribs for a month when I did it. It’s not worth it.”

A sly grin played on Keith’s lips.

Shiro stared at him, suspicious. “What did I say?”

“Fuck. You said fuck. Not putting up a very good example, huh, Mr. Role Model for Future Cadets?”

Shiro shoved Keith playfully. “Don’t tell Iverson or I’ll tell him about the time you snuck out to go joyriding.”

“Deal.”

A week later, his binder arrived, and when Keith stared in the mirror he’d honestly believed that everything would be okay, and that he’d be happy from now on.

A month later, Shiro left for Kerberos.

Keith was nineteen and fighting an intergalactic war in a team where no one was cis.

“I’m a girl,” Pidge said, and Lance nearly spit out his drink, and Keith just wondered how he hadn’t noticed that in the communal showers. Until it clicked. He never brought it up, but when he saw Pidge fidgeting with her hair and staring at her jeans with longing, he asked Allura to have a girl’s night with her. Allura didn’t question it, either, and the next time he saw Pidge, she was smiling, and had a new dress.

Hunk came out in a more traditional way, after being mistaken for a demigod on a new planet. “I mean, demiguy, demigod, it’s all the same, right?” he’d grinned.

Lance pouted. “Then why didn’t they pick me to worship?”

“Wait, both of you are demiguys?” Pidge said, before wincing when the concept of tact seemed to catch up with her.

Lance and Hunk nodded in unison. “Half guy, half nonbinary,” Hunk clarified.

“Kinda guy?” Lance made the universal so-so sign. “I don’t know, honestly. It just seems to fit the best so I’m going with it.”

“Does that mean that none of us are cis?” Keith asked, and Pidge startled.

“You’re trans?” she asked.

Keith nodded. “Trans guy.

After coming out to an entire class of people, most of which were cis, coming out to another trans person was easy.

“Oh my god, none of us are cis!” Pidge said, giddy.

“Maybe it’s a requirement for flying a lion?” Shiro piped up, unexpectedly. Lance pumped his hand up in the air.

“Fuck yeah! We’re Voltrans, defenders of the universe!”

They laughed and headed back inside, and Lance jokingly asked Allura if only trans people could form Voltron. Allura frowned in confusion.

Altea, apparently, had no such thing as an ‘assigned gender at birth’.

Lance’s grin grew wider, and before long, Keith found himself explaining the gender politics of Earth to an alien princess from a dead planet.

This was his life now, and honestly, he’d never been happier.

Keith was twenty-five when they finally landed back on Earth, after defeating Zarkon. He was also twenty-five when he looked a ‘feminist’ in the eye who’d told him that she was so glad that “not one, but two girls on Team Voltron!” and said “I really hope you meant Allura and Pidge with that.”

She turned red, and he’d walked away, not even bothering to look back.

Keith was thirty when he was visiting the Garrison for a short time, and he found someone with long, curly black hair, deep brown skin, muscular arms, a square jaw, a flat chest, and an awkward smile approaching him.

“I’m trans,” were the first things out of her mouth, and she immediately hid her face and groaned.

Keith smiled.

#vldss17 #trans guy keith #trans keith #keith kogane #vld keith #extra bonus points:#trans guy shiro #demiboy hunk #demiboy lance #trans girl pidge #also known as None of Your Faves Are Cis: the fic #fun fact: every single microagression in this fic is one I heard from 'allies'#lifted pretty much verbatim from real life #yup #personal #jay writes #also welcome to yet another episode of Fic Titles Suck: The Movie

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quiznakchronicle · 6 years

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Past Zines Tracking

Since our other zine accountability list is solely focused on current projects, here’s a sister post for past projects (by past we mean projects for which preorders have closed). Often it’s easy to lose sight of zines once they close preorders and enter production because of long timelines, so we’ll track them for you!

Aphelion Zine Mod listed ✓ Status: finished; products received Money: for profit (to participants)

Closer to Home: A ShiroMatt Zine Mod listed ✓ Status: leftover products on sale now; products from round 1 sent & received Money: for charity (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention); screenshot proof of 1st donation provided, 2nd donation pending after leftover sale closes

Devoir Galra Zine Mod(s) NOT listed Status: in production Money: for profit (to participants)

Equilibrium Shidge Zine Mods listed ✓ Status: in production Money: for charity (Freedom Service Dogs and Girls Who Code)

Galactic Gourmet Food Zine Mods listed ✓ Status: all preorder + participant copies sent & received; possibility of selling off excess product at some point Money: spent on participant copies; anything that comes in from sale of excess product--if/when that happens--will go to Oxfam

Eventide Hance Zine Mods listed ✓ Status: digital copies sent & received; still waiting on physical copies Money: 50% to participants; 50% to True Colors Fund

Horizon Shance Zine Mod(s) NOT listed Status: finished; products received (but maybe not all...?) Money: for charity (Free 2 Luv), but unable to confirm proof of donation **If anyone who was involved with this project can provide more info please DM @ace-pidge **

Infinite Sheith Zine Mods listed ✓ Status: finished; products received Money: for charity (Beyond Blue); screenshot proof of donation provided

Intertwined Stars Klance Zine Mod listed ✓ Status: pdf only copies sent; currently shipping physical copies Money: for charity (Kaleidoscope Trust)

Klance! Zine Mods listed ✓ Status: finished; products received Money: for profit (to participants)

Moonlight Shiro Zine Mod listed ✓ Status: finished; products received Money: for charity (Freedom Service Dogs); screenshot proof of donation provided

Multiship Zine Mod listed ✓ Status: pdf only copies sent; currently shipping physical copies Money: for charity (not specified)

Paladin Zine Mod listed ✓ Status: in production; last update was Sept 28 Money: for profit (to participants) **If anyone who was involved with this project can provide more info on its current status please DM @ace-pidge **

The Pride Charity Zine Mods listed ✓ Status: finished; products received Money: for charity (Lion Conservation Fund and White Helmets); pamphlets included with zine delivery detailed contributions

ShiroxRest Zine Mod NOT listed Status: in production Money: for profit (to participants)

Spectrum Voltrans Zine Mod listed ✓ Status: in production Money: for charity (True Colors Project)

Starboy Lance Zine Mods listed ✓ Status: round 2 orders open; round 1 orders sent & received Money: for charity (Direct Relief)

Voltron Fashion Zine Mods listed ✓ Status: wrapping up shipping Money: for charity (TBA)

VLD Anthology Mod(s) NOT listed Status: finished Money: unknown **If anyone who was involved with this project can provide more info please DM @ace-pidge **

#mod pidge #long post #transparency and accountability #zine #voltron #past zines #past

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pumpkins-s · 7 years

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Interpersonal Mathematics

Read On AO3 Here

“Really?” She looks to him in askance, the odd edges of nerves leaving her expecting more. “That’s it?” He shrugs, looking bemused, and she snorts. “…Did you seriously have no idea that entire time?”

Lance throws up his hands, waving them about in a dramatic fashion. “I mean I knew something was up with you, but I didn’t necessarily think it was a gender thing! A person can have like...multiple things going on at once. And I was right! There was something—I just didn’t expect it to be as big as your family being kidnapped by aliens and you faking your entire identity, y’know?”

Pidge rolls her eyes, ignoring the panging clangs that never quite go away of your family, your family, where is your family, Katie? “Yeah, alright. Fair enough.”

(Or, in which Pidge is trans, damn well knows she's trans, Lance has no idea what he is, and they both learn to handle the complexities of gender identity, friendship, and each other, in that order.)

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Relationships: platonic Pidge & Lance

Characters: Pidge, Lance

Written for the @voltrans-zine, with permission given to post the full piece now that preorders have closed.

Pidge would like to consider herself a fairly decisive person.

She would argue it’s part of her nature as a scientist. Outside of the realm of actual possibility (which, admittedly, has greatly expanded since entering Voltron), she’s not prone to daydream or fantasy. Why waste time considering things that could never feasibly happen when you could work towards a goal that was relatively graspable, after all? It’s just far more sensible.

Regardless, she’s never been much of one for dilly-dallying or the like when it comes down to it.

She is a scientist. A programmer. A paladin now, too, she supposes. And yes, a woman.

She was one of the quote-on-quote “early bloomers” in that particular discovery, as it might be called (or perhaps it might be better referred to a soul-searching type of decision? She supposes it depends on whom you ask, and their experience with the matter).

Either way, she’s always known what and who she was fairly quickly— from the time she was seven or eight, in the crawling, creeping sensations of yes, this is what I’m meant to be, and the rather memorable occasion not long after where that young, dauntless, and stubbornly optimistic version of herself (before she grew up, before she saw the world) had marched out to Matt in the shoe store during their annual back to school shopping trip with bright purple, sparkly Velcro tie sneakers strapped firmly to her feet, and Matt had looked down and giggled in amused confusion. “I think those are meant for girls, buddy.”

“But I am a girl,” she’d said firmly, and Matt had blinked, just once, considering.

“Alright.” he’d said, and that’d been the end of it.

(Well…no, obviously, that wasn’t the end of it, more like the beginning of an extremely long, arduous, and complicated process, but it makes an interesting marker point in her personal mental autobiography, if she does say so herself.)

Intellectually, of course, Pidge is vey much aware of the fact that some people are not so well decided and utterly sure in themselves. Such people waffle on their even most confident knowledge at times, their faith in their skill sets, on their own identity. They may be unwilling to decide such things permanently, or may lack faith in their own judgment, or simply not come into themselves in that capacity until much later.

It is not, however, a problem she has ever had much at all, excusing a few circumstances.

She simple does not have the time, she thinks, to be so unconfident in her own abilities, her own instincts. Not then, as a child, when the world was young and new and fresh and she’d needed all the time she had just to explore it. And not now, when the very concept of the metaphorical world, or perhaps more accurately universe, is vast and wide again in a whole new way, and there are so many people relying on her to keep her head on straight.

...Especially given some of those people are her own family, and they don’t even know it yet.

Similarly, Pidge would consider herself a fairly quick judge of character. She can be surprised at the capacity of a person even yet, naturally, but she often finds her initial assessments are not incorrect. A decent example of this might be Allura: the princess has certainly grown on Pidge over time, and she’s come to appreciate what Allura offers in bravery and reckless strength in the face of her cause, but none of her acquired fondness of the princess has negated her initial assessment of an ice- cold warrior queen in training running away from her own past.

(She may not be royalty herself, or as in control of her emotions as Allura can be, but Pidge can with the utmost certainty recognize someone else fleeing from their own memories of what they have done, what they have let happen in their unplanned negligence. Allura let Altea burn while she slept, no matter how unwillingly, and Pidge had let her family be lost while she was thousands of miles away and could do nothing to prevent it. She can respect that they, at least, have that much in common in the unwanted guilt that rests on their shoulders.)

Point being, she can learn more about people like any other fallible being, but it’s additional data points, not a revision of her original hypothesis. No matter how much her teammates may grow as people and she may, in turn, grow to understand them, they are still at their cores at least in part what she started out with— Shiro is still a boy-scout-hearted inspiration to everyone who looks at him, Keith is still a hotheaded maniac with an obsession for speed, and Hunk is still a well-meaning teddy bear with the come-and-go intellect of a genius when he’s interested in a subject.

…With…one exception: Lance. The outlier to the average of this little equation.

No matter what she does, Pidge cannot seem to figure out the enigmatic puzzle that is Lance, in all his odd-edged, hyperactive glory.

Really, it’d almost be insulting, if it wasn’t weirdly interesting in a kind of bored fascination way.

…If Pidge is being honest, her first impression of Lance is that of somewhere between an idiot and, as the so delicately crafted term goes, a fuckboy.

Admittedly, her focus at the time isn’t exactly on breaking into the deep and meaningful parts of her teammates psyches. Or…much on her teammates at all, actually, but she thinks either way Lance’s attempt at something like a smooth and cool introduction wouldn’t have gone over well.

She simply isn’t a person for that kind of posturing—pretending such things is all in good fun, but putting on a false suave attitude in seriousness just makes something look stupid, in her personal opinion.

(She is sure Lance would disagree vehemently with that statement, but her point still stands.)

Over time, in being stuck with him in the close quarters that come with being a part of the same team at the Garrison, she reluctantly stretches her opinion of him to include a sentiment of something along the lines of not overall a bad person, former points not withstanding, but it isn’t until Voltron that her feelings on the matter change much beyond that.

Finding Lance after the explosion that destroys the castle’s crystal is…a shock. A data point incongruent with her previous knowledge of him, which had never displayed such an aptitude for... Well. She’s not sure whether to call it self-sacrifice or a suicidal streak. Another one of those cases where it depends on who you ask, she supposes.

That said, pretty much everything up until that point is a shock. The entirety of rescuing Shiro, subsequently finding the Blue lion, arriving at the castle, and most everything that comes after it is one big no-sleep, adrenaline-run rush of this can’t be real it isn’t feasibly possible but that hardly matters, survive this, move past this, they’ve got Matt and Dad you’ve got to survive this.

And of course, in the aftermath, in turning the castle into her battleground and losing Rover and watching Haxus fall to his death and realizing that yes, she has just killed someone to save her own skin and she’d do it again, it is easy to forget, to shuffle aside the anomaly of Lance in favor of so much new information to categorize, to reflect on.

(It is…odd, to look at her own picture of herself, in between the pieces that make up hacker and fighter and sister and all the other little snippets, and add killer to that image. She’s always rather easily conceptualized humans as just giant strings of something like computer code, what else is DNA, after all, and to filter through her own and find the pieces of programming necessary for that kind of thing is an experience, to say the least.)

She doesn’t really give Lance a second thought until well after all that, after they’ve seen him out of the cryopod and plied him with food, and she realizes yes, now, this is the moment. She bares the hidden parts of her metaphorical code and corrects an assumption she’d let lie, even encouraged, to protect her identity as Pidge Gunderson over Katie Holt.

Me. Pidge. Katie. Paladin. Woman.

On the one hand, their reactions are a relief. To have that assurance that, yes, they assumed she is a girl regardless, because body and voice and all the things not yet in her control do not define her. That her heart, her being, is woman, and that is enough.

One the other, it’s frustrating. To know for all her work, all her sacrifice, all the times her skin itched and crawled and she wanted to shout this was wrong, wrong name wrong pronouns wrong life, was for naught. They saw through her ploy anyways.

In a way, Lance’s overdramatic reaction is gratifying. At least someone had bought her disguise. Her efforts had not entirely been in vain. It isn’t until after that Pidge feels the numb worry in her tingling nerves and clammy hands as Lance side-eyes her on their walk back to their rooms, and that she wonders if his loud reaction had been for that reason.

(It is, admittedly, incongruent with what she knows of Lance, even admitting to the crueler aspects of her assessments of him, but fear is a curious thing, born from trial and error and superstition, and it is not always logical.)

“So you’re like—a girl?” he says, brash and unassuming and all the things that give Pidge a headache at the best of times. “A legit girl or…?”

She twitches, almost wanting to snap at him to define a legit girl, but restrains herself. “Yes Lance, I can assure you I’m one hundred percent girl.”

“...Huh.” Lance blinks. “Alright. Cool.”

Pidge rolls her eyes, ignoring the panging clangs that never quite go away of your family, your family, where is your family, Katie? “Yeah, alright. Fair enough.”

“...I thought you might be trans, honestly,” Lance says after a pause, squinting at the ground. “Like you were clearly uncomfortable getting changed around other people and you were so tiny for a dude so—“

“I am trans,” Pidge says before she can think about it, and only afterwards doubles back and properly registers that Lance had meant he thought she was a trans man, followed by the rather jarring realization that perhaps she hasn’t exactly made clear to the team that she isn’t…well. Cis. “I mean...”

(It isn’t technically their business, either way, she supposes, but she had wanted to tell them. Had wanted to be honest in this very crucial piece of what made her herself.)

“Oh.” Lance stops in the hall. “…Oh! Okay, yeah, that…that makes sense, in retrospect.”

“...Yeah.”

“So is everyone in your family just short then?”

She punches him in the side, ignoring his squeals of delighted laughter, and chases him down the hall yelling empty threats. And somewhere, in the mental files and folders of Pidge’s brain, the section on Lance reorders itself ever so slightly without her permission, straying somewhere into not bad, not bad at all, maybe even good.

...Somehow, Lance becomes a regular part of daily life after that.

(Arguably, the same thing might be said of the other occupants of the castle, given there are only seven of them on board and they see each other day in and day out, but she digresses. There is a fine line between housemate/teammate, and friend whom you relinquish semi-consistent time and attention to, and somehow Lance burrows his way into being both the former and the latter.)

He attaches himself to her with vicious, hard-won, blind enthusiasm, much as she has seen him do with Hunk, and despite her hesitations, she lets it happen. There is no Garrison to hide from anymore, no secrets to keep, and having friends here will not risk compromising her cover or intervene with her ability to search for her family.

Lance is odd in a very distinct and individual way. He is sharp edges and loud words and all the things that Pidge is not. If her mind is a computer, she thinks, then his is something of a cluttered chess game with loud music blaring in the background.

But he is smarter and kinder than she originally gave him credit for, and he accepts all the odd-shaped remnants of her without question, and so he grows on her.

He does dumb things (and learns from them, amazingly) and picks fights he can’t win to make himself look cool and robs a space mall fountain with her just to help her buy a video game instead of doing something he fancied instead, and he is…no longer an annoyance or hindrance, but an expectation of fun and excitement.

Lance makes no sense in the general order of things, really, because Pidge is decisive, truly and practically. She formulates opinions of people and they do not waver and they do not change, ever, and yet Lance does. He somehow rapidly spirals from problem to acceptable to friend, and Pidge is left floundering in the wake of exactly how this occurred without actually regretting any part of it.

And yet even then she cannot close the file. She sits with all the disjointed pieces of Lance and tries to arrange them into a complete human equation and is left with gaps. There is always a persistent feeling of something missing, of knowing it’s there and still not being sure of what, and it leaves her wondering if this is what Lance felt like all the way back in the Garrison, when he looked at her and knew there was more to find but didn’t know what.

(Gender and identity and Kerberos and all the little pieces—in retrospect, the fact that Lance even guessed there might have been multiple things she was hiding was pretty impressive, given how much of herself Pidge had tucked away.)

“Do you miss not having girl’s stuff? Like…dresses and cheap lip gloss and the ugly hairbands and all that?” he asks her once, long after the video game is bought and the wiring issue is solved, controller tucked in his hands as he squints at the screen, and she blinks and wonders if this is a case of a question being a whim or a long time coming. Maybe both.

“Yes and no,” she says, pondering the answer slowly. “I liked some of those things, yeah, but I don’t need them. They were nice when I was younger and first transitioning, because they made me feel more sure of myself, I suppose, but it just…feels different now. I don’t need to look feminine or dress as such to know I’m a woman. I just am.”

“Weirdly eloquent response there, Pigeon,” he answers after a long moment, and she blows up his character on the TV screen in retaliation, grinning widely at his loud exclamation following.

“Why did you even ask, anyways? It’s a bit of an out-of-nowhere question.”

Lance shrugs, nose scrunched up and the first inklings of uncomfortable crawling across his face. “Just thinking.”

“...Alright.”

“I think I would miss them,” he says loudly. “If I were you. But—y’know—I’m not you so…”

Pidge pauses her game and wonders if this is one of those times the ever-expanding folder of Lance needs to be edited upon. “You can tell me anything, you know.” And what a trip that is, to repeat the same words she’d heard her parents say, after Matt had brought her home from that shoe store with those purple Velcro sneakers and had spoken to them unsurely in a low voice as she played with her toy cars spread out over the living room floor, and a million little things had come together for her family to finally make sense of Pidge properly for the first time in her life.

She’s probably not the most emotionally competent person for this sort of thing, and definitely isn’t an expert outside of her own experience, but she’s all Lance has got out here, if this is what she thinks it is, so she’ll have to do.

“Yeah, I know,” Lance says, not meeting her eyes. “I’m fine, Pidge. It’s nothing.”

And she lets it go, because some people are decisive and fast moving and know who they are almost immediately, and others aren’t. Pidge is an early bloomer and a scientist and pragmatic. She knows what she wants out of life and she takes it with as much certainty as she can guarantee.

Lance is wide and open and fluid and changeable. He’s the kind of person to demand an audience when he wants to and then duck into the corner to avoid stepping on people’s toes if he deems it necessary.

He is not her, and that is fine.

It’s a rapid escalation of little things then, once it has her attention. Tiny data points picked up from observation and plugged into the half-finished equation of Lance in the interest of completing the puzzle. A silent pondering of not like me, very much not like me, but maybe like me yet still. She knows these signs, can point to them in her own history, but Lance is the anomaly to all her patterns, and it leaves her wondering on the potential surety of her findings.

Because Lance is everything—he is loud and brash and boyish, and quiet and thoughtful and mature. He makes terrible, flirty jokes, and then on occasion wrinkles his nose and walks away from the boy’s talk. He hangs off Allura like she’s a goddess and then sits and compliments her outfits and offers to do her hair with innocent enthusiasm. He is blurred lines and complexities in so many ways she too was and is, and Pidge isn’t sure he even knows it yet.

(Then again, the same things might be said for her. She is a woman in sure identity and mind still living in her little boy disguise that is a stolen mockery of her brother. An example of mind over matter in its finest, the physical losing value in the face of circumstance and confidence in what makes her herself.)

Lance gets the start of his own purple shoes moment, so to speak, in the inevitableness of the tiny things coming to a head all at once in an unexpected occurrence that seems plain on the surface, much like her own. These aren’t enormous revelations, sweeping statements clawed in panic and triumph (no, those come after). These are the little ticking-over happenings, the quiet, mental, oh, here we go, seeping slowly to the surface.

Self-discovery is not fast and dramatic, it is a crawling, sleeping, wondering thing, filled with questions and contemplations long before decisions or revisions, even Pidge knows this much.

They end up on a planet, on one of those semi-impromptu departures from the usual Galra-fighting schedule to assist a planet in need with its own problems, with a sacred temple that men are not allowed to enter.

(They come across a lot of amazing alien cultures, Pidge will admit, but the matriarchies, even the hyper-religious ones, are pretty damn cool.)

It’s a breathless relief, following an unwanted fear that they will somehow burrow their eyes beneath her skin and claim she is not woman enough, when they let her in after Allura without question. She is a woman. She is welcome here, in these alien eyes that hold no concept of human demands that state she is not quite right.

And then they usher in Lance after them, pulling the temple doors shut on the boys’ confused faces as they lead Lance inside and push him into place with her and Allura, and Pidge is left watching Lance’s wide eyes and wondering if aliens see more than she gives them credit for, after all.

Afterwards, when Keith and Hunk knock Lance’s shoulders gently and tease him in good fun about all his beauty regimens making aliens mistake him for a girl, Pidge watches Lance’s unsure grin, his shaking fingers, and keeps her mouth shut.

(It is quite possible they saw in Lance what he does not yet see in himself, and this is not her place, to tell Lance’s story for him.)

Because the thing about Lance, Pidge thinks, is that he is one of those people who do not know themselves quite yet—who trip over their own insecurities and easily succumb to questionings of their feelings. He is as she is, she suspects, she knows, in the itching feelings of not quite right, not quite yet, in this thing they call us, but otherwise he is nothing like her. Pidge knows her mind, her body, her (albeit likely metaphorical) soul, because in this world where everything is unsure and dangerous, the only thing she can truly rely on once her teammates are gone is herself. Lance is a rapidly spiraling game of impromptu and anomalies, the only file she ever had to completely rewrite, and he is still learning himself as much as she is, if not more.

Later, much later, he comes to her room, arms crossed and feet shuffling, and she turns on the video game console without a word, handing him a controller and fighting back a pleased grin as he patiently waits for her to get set up so that she can be player one, as always. He is so much more giving than she ever credited him for, in the beginning, and it is only fair she returns the favor.

So she considers it, and she gives him her waiting silence, because a person like Lance just wants a friend, someone willing to hold the pause until they are ready.

“...I don’t think I’m a boy,” he says eventually into the steeping silence of the simulated nighttime of the castle, and Pidge pauses the game. “I don’t think I’m like…a girl, either, but—I guess it was always there, y’know? Since I was a kid. It all felt…off. But after you, I started thinking about it, and then I couldn’t stop, and…and…”

“Alright,” she says, repeating his pointedly simplistic answer from a long time ago, and shrugs, smiling unsurely when he looks to her, which he mirrors.

“Yeah?”

There are still things to consider after this, so many things. Questions of pronoun experiments and preferences, of terms of address and potential appearance changes desired, of the long discussions she has already been having with Coran about programming the med bay to manufacture the hormone doses she was on before leaving Earth that Lance may now want to be a part of.

(...But there is time for all that later.)

For now, this is Lance’s beginning moment. His own foray into the first speaking of it as the way he and the world perceive him reorder themselves slowly. He will not suddenly wake up tomorrow and find everything makes sense all at once, but there will be the first prickling of knowing, of awaited change, and that is good.

They have time for the logistics, for the science and the decisions and the rewriting. For once in her life, Pidge bids herself patience, to let the both of them figure out the complexities of being in peace.

They have all the time in the world. In the universe, even.

(Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, in between the bits of Katie and Pidge and Paladin and Team, the file on Lance, idiot and annoyance and friend, rewrites itself slowly once more, filling in the gaps with completed lines of ah, there it is.)

“...Yeah.”

#Pidge #Lance #voltron #my writing #voltrans zine #pidge & lance #Interpersonal Mathematics (Voltron)

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duancocobay · 4 years

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The One Thing Only 1% of People Do | TRY IT FOR 21 DAYS and Success Will Come!

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The one thing only 1% of people do, that the other 99% don’t INCREDIBLE SPEECH BY WILL SMITH AND JIM KWIK. ►Special thanks to Tom Bilyeu for providing the Jim Kwik’s interview..

►If you struggle and have a hard time, consider taking an online therapy session with our partner BetterHelp. ►Motivational Alarm Tones

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►Speakers:

Will Smith – Jim Kwik David Knapp Elliot Hulse – Joel Osteen –

►Footage source:

All the footages are under Creative Commons License. However ,if any content owners would like their images removed, please contact us by email at [email protected] Thank you!

Vengo Films – Cristián Laguna – ming.chau – FGES Lille – BlueOkapi – INTERVISÃO FILMES – Voltran – Daniel Wilson – clarividente films – Jacopo Farina – Christian Schmid Rincon – Long Hollow Creative – Eider Ruiz – Sinefekt – v.tsapo – Chris Watkins – Daniel Morris – Jason James – JL DESIGN – Joshua Lamb – Karen Nitsche – Kenneth Benitez – Lars Buder –

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Position Music – Oblivion Salim Daima – Relentless

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kimduancocobay · 4 years

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The One Thing Only 1% of People Do | TRY IT FOR 21 DAYS and Success Will Come!

youtube

The one thing only 1% of people do, that the other 99% don’t INCREDIBLE SPEECH BY WILL SMITH AND JIM KWIK. ►Special thanks to Tom Bilyeu for providing the Jim Kwik’s interview..

►If you struggle and have a hard time, consider taking an online therapy session with our partner BetterHelp. ►Motivational Alarm Tones

================================================================================================================

►Follow us

================================================================================================================

►SUBSCRIBE TO MY OTHER CHANNEL FOR WORKOUT MOTIVATION

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►Speakers:

Will Smith – Jim Kwik David Knapp Elliot Hulse – Joel Osteen –

►Footage source:

All the footages are under Creative Commons License. However ,if any content owners would like their images removed, please contact us by email at [email protected] Thank you!

►Music

Position Music – Oblivion Salim Daima – Relentless

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#Dự_Án_CocoBay #Kim_Dự_Án_CocoBay #duancocobay

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inkanspider · 7 years

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August 2 Alien/Human

Voltrans Girls Week 2017

@trans-legendary-defenders

Lance groaned as she stepped out of the healing pod. Once again, she had fucked up a mission. It wasn’t all that bad at first; defend a planet against the Galras and destroy a station while they were at it. It had gone well, until Pidge had discovered a trap set by the Galras. They had fought it off, but Lance and Blue had taken a huge it because they saved Pidge and Green. Blue was most likely okay, but Lance had most likely gotten am concussion and had fallen unconscious.

Lance looked around with heavy eyes. She had never been a fan of the healing pods; not only because they made her very sleepy and gloomy afterwards, but she was also reminded of her constant mess ups whenever she had to enter one. She always felt like she couldn’t do anything to live up to the others expectations; neither the universe’s nor her team mate’s.

With shaky legs she walked over to the steps and sat down. Her body felt cold, like leaving a warm bed on a cold winter morning. She looked around, trying to see if anything had changed or if anyone was there. Nothing had changed.

And no one was there… Just her luck.

When she felt she was strong enough, she stood up and left the room. She walked the corridors, listening to any sound she could think of. The only sound she was met with was silence. Growing up with a large family had given her a troubled relationship with sounds. To many people talking would give her a headache, but no sound at all would drive her crazy and make her anxious. As she passed by the training deck, she finally heard something. Sounded like Keith or Shiro training. Feeling relaxed, she returned to her room. The suit hugged her body uncomfortably, and she missed wearing her own clothes. Ones she hopefully could fend off the dysphoria with.

In her room, her clothes was already waiting on her bed. She quickly changed, and went to the bathroom to wash her face. The water felt warm and refreshing after the somewhat cold healing pod. As she looked up, she saw… something.

Something that wasn’t her.

“Wh- WHAT THE-?!!”

Her face, was not the same as she remembered. Her longer hair had finally started to make her face look more feminine, and she couldn’t wait to start hormones in a few years (when she could afford it, her parents shouldn’t have to pay for everything). But there was something there that was something entirely new.

Her ears were longer and pointy, making her almost look like an elf. But the most striking new feature was the new pink streaks on her cheeks, right under her eyes.

The typical features of an Altean.

She didn’t hear or noticed herself scream, but she stopped once she felt calming hands on her shoulders.

“Lance? Lance, what’s wrong?!” Allura, just the right person.

“Allura, look at me! What has happened to me?!” Lance cried, tears forming in her eyes. Allura could only stare at Lance as she took in her new appearance. Sure she has seen her fair share of weirdness, but this was on an entirely different level.

“It must habe something to do with the healing pod. You wouldn’t look like this otherwise…” Allura said. After calming Lance down and sat her down on the bed, she went to talk to Coran and discuss the issue.

She can back 30 minutes later, carrying one of her old pyjamas in her hands.

“Remembered you said something about wanting new clothes to sleep in” She smiled at Lance. Lance gratefully took the clothes, inspecting the armless top and the shorts; both in a fabric that felt like silk.

“I will almost feel like a princess in these” She said. Allura smiled back at her.

“I’ve talk with Coran, and he had a hypothesis and the situation. He believes that the healing pod has dug up some long forgotten gene in you, and made it manifest itself on the surface” Allura said, face really serious about the matter. “That means that you could possibly has an ancestor who was Altean”

Lance looked at Allura, shock written all over her. She knew that she had some foreign ancestor, but her parents said that they were probably European or maybe even ancient American. Never had she suspected that one ancestor to be an alien. An Altean none the less.

Allura saw her distraught, and decided not to let the girl she saw as her little sister suffer by her own thoughts.

“Lance, listen to me. Ever since you came out to me and the rest of the team, you have been like a sister to me. Whenever it have been about your homesickness or about your feelings towards the team, I’ve always tried to help you find the right way. This time is no different. If it is true, that you are part Altean, I will help you with whatever you need. Want to get rid of the markings and the ears? I’ll help you with that. And I know the others would too. We are here for you, Lance, don’t forget that“

Not able to keep her tears in, Lance threw her arms around Allura in a tight embrace. She knew Allura had been fine with her since she came out as a trans girl, but that hadn’t stopped her from worrying. But hearing Allura say it out loud, made her stop worrying a bit. Maybe being part Altean wouldn't be so bad, if she would belong to the same species as her and Coran.

That wouldn’t stop her from being human, though.

#trans girl lance #voltransgirlsweek2017 #voltransgirlsweek

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grailfishdraws · 7 years

Photo

So I figured I ought to give an explanation for why I haven’t had much of anything in terms of new content lately, and that would be because I’m a part of FOUR ongoing projects right now (excluding some big bangs and the @vldcrackshipzine). So here’re some WIPs to prove I’m not dead!

The first two are for the @vldswimcalendar which I am a merch artist for, designing some stickers and postcards. The third is for the @garrisontriozine, still in its early stages but a promising group of people! Next is the @voltrans-zine Spectrum, which is close to wrapping up the creation process! And finally the last two are for the @voltrontarot project! I’m so excited about doing all of these. I’m trying to pace myself with such long deadlines, but sometimes i just can’t help myself lol

#voltron #voltron fanart #wip #voltron swim calendar #garrison trio zine #voltron trans zine #voltron tarot #projects

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bootoxkikka · 5 years

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The Deltona Community Center and the seniors of Volusia County

In addition to special events, this magnificent center will house the Meals on Wheels and activities program for seniors administered by the Council on Aging, (COA). This non-profit organization provides services for the elderly and their caretakers, and has been one of the most involved independent organizations for the promotion of the new center. Originally, the Senior Activity Center was located on Lakeshore Drive off of Lake Monroe. The COA contributed more than a quarter of a million dollars to the construction of this new facility under the consideration that the senior members can use it for their activities during the operating hours of Monday-Friday 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM except holidays. There had been much controversy about how the city manager dragged her feet in allowing for this transition to occur. The Council on Aging was promised a move-in date of December 2017. The city manager soon after canceled the move and rescheduled for February 2018. Thereafter, again she canceled the move-in date. After much fanfare and disgruntled public demands she agreed to allow the move for March 6th 2018. This exciting news traveled quickly while independent groups representing the former location at Lake Monroe mobilized to protest the move. Although these groups have no affiliation with the Council on Aging they have serious questions as to what will the city do with the former Activities Center on Lake Monroe.

Despite the hullabaloo most seniors that participate in the Activities membership anticipate a wonderful experience. They will be engaged in games such as, super bingo, mah-jong, dominoes, bridge, pool, arts and crafts and a host of other activities. Coordinators for the COA are hopeful to bridge the seniors along with teenagers from the nearby schools in afterschool activities and performances by school orchestras. Voltran, a transportation service offered by Volusia County offers commute transport for seniors at a reduced rate, (currently there is a waiting list). Long term senior activities members that were already qualified will have no transportation issues because all new routes for the transition have been approved for some time now.

The Council on Aging also offers a free lunch program for active members that qualify and runs the facilities dining site for the senior membership. Others who may not qualify pay at a reduced rate. The COA depends on public donations and has a large support network of volunteer staff that helps administer all the services offered for its members. This environment gives the COA a lot of muscle that weighs heavily on elected officials in the city of Deltona. Newspapers, private organizations and a host of many other groups are quick to understand that seniors contribute a large percentage of the voter base. These popular services offered by non-profits such as COA can only remain in existence with the financial support of the public, and the city supplements a lot of these efforts. Although she is not an elected official and she was appointed by the mayor’s office, it was wise for the city manager to tread lightly in her treatment of these special needs groups that contribute to a positive outreach. Most elected officials recognize the importance of having the COA provide there invaluable services. It is an excellent opportunity for these elected officials to get in tune with their constituency.

The Deltona Center actually has a special bright spot amidst all the controversies outlined in many local newspapers since its inception. As I had mentioned in a previous blog, the Deltona Center has already been bought and paid for and the city should continue to maintain its true mission. And that is to encourage and stimulate continued support. It is a fundamental responsibility of government to participate and implement quality of life and community outreach programs to enhance and serve the community. All other ambitious and perhaps fabricated events that the city argued would help fund the original concept for the Deltona Center; will have to take a back seat until the city can achieve a balanced and realistic approach. It is no longer of major importance to obtain Goliath revenue through private sector commerce. That cannot happen in such short timelines like the city projected. The city must recognize that the public might have been bamboozled at first through their ambitious buffoonery and unrealistic goals, (more than likely stated by city officials lacking in any skill other than bureaucratic incompetence), but the long term repercussions may very well turn out to be an effectively noble attempt. And the general public can keep this old saying in mind, “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me”.

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ao3feed-voltronlegendarydefender · 5 years

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Voltron: Defenders of Realities

read it on the AO3 at Voltron: Defenders of Realities

by Snows_personal_library

At the center of time and space there is a small piece of reality growing. There are a few like it struggling to survive, but this one is parallel to the strongest universe in existence. The evil there grows stronger everyday, and it's only a matter of time until they move on to the next reality. The Lions of Voltron are gone, but not for long with evil threatening the universe. A new team of paladins are chosen and so starts the next cosmic struggle of good and evil.

Words: 4733, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: OCs, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Hunk, Lance, multiple OCs, Coran, Rena, Hannah, Leon, Karon, Klax, Oran - Character, Kota, Azrail, Kara, Valkarion, Matt Holt

Relationships: OC/OC, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Hunk/Shay (Voltron)

Additional Tags: Second Generation Voltron, this is gonna be a wild ride, kind of, Most won't have kids but the paladins will be mentors, Voltron Second Gen, Voltron next gen, some wild species, half galran/half altean, half olkari/half human, some wild lab clones made for war, corrupted reality, new realities have been made, because hello the center of time and space can do whatever the hell it wants, voltranic/first reality, some wild doppelganger stuff is going on, is it about team voltron? Yes, is there a romantic subplot? yes, is there a love triangle? Kinda but Rena gets real tired of that shit real quick, that title is trash sorry

read it on the AO3 at Voltron: Defenders of Realities

#ao3feed #fanfic #voltron #voltron: legendary defender #ao3feed-voltronlegendarydefender

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buzzpost · 6 years

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THIS IS WHAT SCHOOL SHOULD REALLY TEACH YOU - Top 5 Motivational Videos of 2018

https://buzzpost.net/earn-money/this-is-what-school-should-really-teach-you-top-5-motivational-videos-of-2018/

THIS IS WHAT SCHOOL SHOULD REALLY TEACH YOU - Top 5 Motivational Videos of 2018

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Take the time to watch this! INCREDIBLE SPEECHES! ►Special thanks to Tom Bilyeu for providing the Jim Kwik’s interview.. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnYMOamNKLGVlJgRUbamveA ►If you struggle and have a hard time, consider taking an online therapy session with our partner BetterHelp. http://tryonlinetherapy.com/beinspired ►Motivational Alarm Tones https://beinspiredchannel.com/alarms ================================================================================================================

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Vengo Films Cristián Laguna ming.chau FGES Lille BlueOkapi INTERVISÃO FILMES Voltran Daniel Wilson clarividente films Jacopo Farina Christian Schmid Rincon Long Hollow Creative Eider Ruiz Sinefekt v.tsapo Chris Watkins Daniel Morris Jason James JL DESIGN Joshua Lamb Karen Nitsche Kenneth Benitez Lars Buder Antoine Janssens Best Ads Channel Bobby Adrian Vitra BraKe Branislav Zvada Chris Cheek Cinematicx Commoner Erik Edstrom Freeletics GOLDWULF Harvey Pearson Jasensei Jonny Orr Lintaro Hopf Lost LeBlanc Marc Fitt Marco Cannillo Matt Komo Mitchell Mullins Nike Tndrf Tyler Cave Bernard Bertrand Ellen Projects FilmVentureStudios Louis Kobetz Iqbal Mohammed molly mcglynn Nainoa Langer Nathan Baldassero PAULS HORIZON PTCreative Ryan Shirley Sam Godly THE FrEE LABEL Timeless Factory TysonTRAVEL visualrev Alex Meliss Alexly Films heyyoumen1 Marco Sandtoes Michael Roberts Myles Shank Neumannfilms North Film Co Porte Faust Portfolio SHMLV video A Journey: Day to Night at Uluru/Ayers Rock (Short Time lapse Film)s adidas gymnastics (All In All Gym) Aidan Sheahan – “Insight” At Last Short Film BIGNATTYDADDY Borning Land – Short Film Trailer Broken Xmas – Short Film Div | ded [Short Film] TO DIE FOR (Post Apocalyptic Short Film) THE VIEW / Short Film THE PHOTOGRAPHER – short horror film The Drive (2017) short film SUEÑOS DE UN CICLISTA ( Biker dreams ) The Question (short film) The short-eared owl LUNA – SHORT-FILM l’Histoire au Quotidien avec Mac Lesggy en Drone Korean Short Film – Vacantly MAISON LUCHA I Introducing movie MARC MARQUEZ Hero Sport D A L V I N (2017) Mini Short Film One day | Short film Still Standing (Short Film) The Membrane [Short Film] Universal myth – metaphor short film [Short film] SLEEPER – Don’t Miss Out on Your Life 2XU Commercial – The Inner Coach BROTHERS – Short Film Building 256 – A Short Film Cross / Roads with Kerry Werner and the Major Jake Grime The Short Film

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