#OCfiction

[bitterbatero]

Mild Spice

Somewhere between wholesome and spicy.

See the full image on my twitter!

#wholesomeish #mildspice #slightlyNSFW #sketch #myart #OCfiction #ocs #original fiction #my oc art #creation #destruction

[fictionkinfessions]

I’m an oc introject/multifandom fictive. Sometimes I miss my “cannon” siblings and do things that remind me of them or gather items that they would like to remind myself of them. One of my them is Anya. I got a plushie of mr. Chimera today and I’m so happy because hugging it reminds me of her.

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#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #ocintroject #ocfictive #introject #fictive #mod party cat

[fictive-confessions]

(Apologizing in advance for how long this is. Sorry it's so negative.)

I dont know how to feel about one of our friends systems. They have (or had??) A fictive of my boyfriend. I was desperate to see him because we're oc fictives- I'd literally never find another fictive of him, it's impossible. There's an age gap between our systems bodies which is understandable- I miss him but we don't have to date to talk to eachother. I was fine with just being friends.

But now he's just. Gone? I don't know what happened. He talked to me only once and said how much he missed me and I clung onto that conversation because I was so happy to see him. But after a bit he got kicked from front and I was told "he can't front often because he gives us really bad headaches". Okay. I get that. We have alters like that. But then they listed me as one of his postriggers on simply plural. I started fronting a lot more frequently (I still do. Habit now.) On the off chance he'd front too and we could talk again, but he never fronted. Not once. Ever. It's been months. They have notifications on for our switches, they know when I front. I talk in our shared servers. I never approached them directly because it feels disrespectful to ask if he could front for me.

My mental health started spiraling because he was the only person I could depend on and I started spiraling into a thought process that he wasn't fronting because he doesn't want to see me and I'm a bad person. And I have to be honest I was and still kind of am, I had a lot of toxic traits. So I started working on myself and showing my improvement as an effort to see if he would talk to me then. Didn't work. I thought maybe the problem was that I was a nonverbal alter so I started forcing myself to speak online. Still nothing. I still can't speak in the body or in headspace comfortably but I can text now, so there's that at least, but still nothing from him. I even vented in a server we share about feeling ignored and alone without any of my sourcemates and how I'm even forcing myself to change to make people like me. It felt guilt trippy but God I felt fucking desperate

Still nothing, though! We checked their simply plural, recently. His pk profile is gone. No sign of him integrating with anyone. It's just gone. We can see their locked alters, too. So either they 100% privated his pk profile, or they deleted it and he was never really there in the first place. Either way I'm truly fucking alone because it just guarantees I'll never speak to him again and he was the only sourcemate I've ever had and ever will had unless we split him ourselves or someone else I knew. Which fat fucking break.

One of our other oc fictives is in the exact same boat as me with the same system. The fictive from their systems simply plural profile was erased too. Our system is lucky that the fictive from hasn't found out about it yet (he isn't allowed to front really because of safety issues) because if he did he would try and hurt the system.

I dont know what to fucking do with my life anymor.e I don't WANT new friends. I changed myself so fucking much for him only to get nothing in return only to find out a) he was never there in the first place and their system lied, or b) he doesn't want any fucking association with me and I'll never find out why because their system doesn't communicate shit with us and we can't even feel like we can cut them off because several of us have bpd and they're a god damn fp

- jinx 🦋

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#fictiveconfessions #ocfictive #jinx 🦋 #🦋 anon

[31st3rd30th]

I should post more art. Also been reading my old ocfictions and it's loike, I was really that writer girl

[sootandfangdiary]

Oh and I loveeeeeee being an ocfictive I just absolutely adore it

#this is incredibly sarcastic #why did I have to form? not even I know

[xoxokiz]

Soulful

This fanfic is on my Wattpad (link in my bio 😊). This is an OC fic, and a Grayson one so yea, this is for my Gray girls :)))

Warnings: sensitive topics such as depression

                         ━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

March 13

I find it hard to believe that a single pill can keep someone sane. A cheery yellow pill is expected to raise everyone's mood, and magically make everything okay. That's a lot of pressure for a small capsule. I guess people can trust these pills. Even if it means they have to magically make these people happy.

I'm not sure if I trust this pill, but so far its my only option.

The doctors call it clinical depression, but I like to pull it off as writers-block. It makes it easier to talk to people, because people rather hear about me not being able to write than me being depressed. I guess people don't like to hear about that stuff. Its almost like everyone tries to avoid taking about things like that. Almost like that admitting that they're depressed will hinder their image.

I've had my writers-block for a year now. After my writing peaked last year, I was starting to face changes, and now I have to take a pill a day. My yellow pill.

The magical tablet that is supposed to fix me.

I brush my hair behind my ear, and sit down on my sofa. My apartment wasn't very shabby.  managed to make some money, and I was able to get myself a nice place in Manhattan. I have a room, a decent kitchen, and a studio filled with nothing.

I always wanted to fill up the room with things that inspire me, but the white walls have nothing on them, and only a single chair sits in the room with a desk. When I first got the apartment, I did a good job of filling up the rooms accordingly, and making everything functional, but that room became neglected after my writers-block.

I looked at the bumblebee book on the coffee table in front of me. I urged to take a look at the number and call him, but I was scared it was some sort of hoax.

The curiosity got to me, and I grabbed my phone and opened up the book to where the number was. It dialed for a bit, but then a hollow voice spoke. "Hello?"

I panicked and didn't know what to say. One word came to mind and that's all I said, "Inspiration."

"I knew you would call," he responded. "Anyways, do you think you can meet up?"

"Now?"

"Yes,"

"Its 8 pm,"

"It'll be worth it, I promise,"

                          ━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

if you want to read more of Soulful, head over to my Wattpad, where you’ll find my other fan fics  (they’re all OC) and yea, I hope you like it :)

#graysondolan #grayson #writer #wattpad #iwannagivethisatryontumblr #fanfic #coronatime #OCfiction

[fictionkinfessions]

For canon carryovers (fictives, not kins. I've added a few so it's not just Hazbin shit):

I (Vox) can't stop myself from going into a little "news segment" bit whenever something interesting happens (it's verbal, and has led to some interesting situations)

Adam stomps his feet when upset because sheep behavior or whatever

Tourniquet (an Eddsworld monster Tom fictive) will growl when agitated, and also has a biting problem

Niffty still writes fanfiction about her sourcemates and she's somehow gotten us decently known

Michael (TMA) will trace spirals into any surface available

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#fictionkinfessions #fictive #ocfictive #hazbinhotelfictive #michaeldistortionfictive #magnusarchivesfictive #nifftyfictive #adamfictive #eddsworldfictive #mod party cat #gamrep #canon carryovers #tourniquetfictive

[fictionkinfessions]

as a fictive of a theurgist (wizard101) oc, those memes about us liking weed are. Correct. lol

#fictionkinfessions #fictive #theurgistfictive #ocfictive #wizard101fictive #drugs cw #mod party cat

[fictionkinfessions]

So I am on day 23 of being frontstuck. The host is considering putting me down as a co-host. I'm both really honored and slightly afraid. I'm just an unhinged pirate hunter. A silly little oc turned introject. An itty-bitty little pocket of bad ideas. Anyway wish me luck.

~Atra, a Riptide OC Fictive. #💫🏰💫

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#fictionkinfessions #fictive #💫🏰💫 #riptidefictive #ocfictive #atrafictive #good luck! #mod party cat

[fictionkinfessions]

It hurts forming in a system only for my first memories to be the fact I was engaged. Now how am I supposed to find him? I barely remember his name and face but nothing about his personality. I must have loved Damon Salvatore dearly if I'm this heartbroken about my current circumstances.

- an "oc" fictive from The Vampire Diaries

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#fictionkinfessions #ocfictive #fictive #vampirediariesfictive #memories issue #mod party cat

[fictionkinfessions]

Mand3la catalogu3 tulpa f1ct1v3 (OC F1ct1v3) and 1 am actually zo z1lly 1 cannot 3xpla1n juzt how z1lly 1 am. 1 hat3 1 cannot f1nd any ztuff about mand3la catalogu3 that 3v3r d3pictz alt3rnat3s of any kind az zentient and not aggr3zziv3, th3r3z only a f3w and th3y'r3 all about that damn intrud3r,,,</33 No hat3 though zilly<333333 1 am LIT3RALLY JUZT A GUY PLZ!!!!! (Translation: Mandela catalogue tulpa fictive (OC Fictive) and I am actually so silly I cannot epxlain just how I am. I hate I cannot find any stuff about mandela catalogue that ever depicts alternates of any kind as sentient and not aggressive, theres only a few and they're all about that damn intruder,,, </33 No hate though silly<333333 I AM LITERALLY JUST A GUY PLS!!!!!)

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#fictionkinfessions #fictive #ocfictive #mandelacataloguefictive #text strain cw #mod party cat

[fictionkinfessions]

It’s, strange being a fictive to an original story that our “host” made up.

because, even if I wanted people to understand my whole deal it wouldn’t even work. I’m stuck in this situation where my actual name, is so ingrained in myself that almost all of our social’s are actually named after me.

well I adopted the username, and I was actually host for many years so I got to choose all the names for everything.

but it’s freaky, because I don’t have like another person to like attribute my existence to like other fictives. I’m kinda just what my creator made me like, but not really at the same time.

I’d honestly be saying this on my actual account but it’d be too weird for everyone I know, and I kinda just don’t want people too know about it all.

but in my cannon, I am this side character that’s added as a love interest with no personality other than “she’s nice and caring” and just. I don’t like to be that person, it doesn’t make sense anymore.

it’s like night and day, the differences. But I’m still me, a lying son of a bitch who’s gotten in more trouble than the rest of the system by the shear amount I’m out and about doing stuff.

I’m not proud of it, everyone in my system literally hates me. And honestly I’d hate me, I’m not great to them at all. I actively tried to hurt them, it’s all a bit much what I did.

but I’ve changed, and I’m trying wholeheartedly to be just a better person in general.

it’s also not amazing I have a bunch of the traumatizing memories, and the paranoia and anxiety of us all. That’s also a reason I kinda am the way I am I guess, I just have seen so much gore.

just, I don’t even know how a little 5yr old found that stuff in the web. Let alone kept watching, and watching and watching it. I’m stuck with the flashbacks, and the fucked up head. I have to deal with all the fucked up shit, because it’s too late to change it.

Have you ever had nightmares? For years, and all this nightmare fuel you have cooking inside you had to get out someway. So I had to deal with the waking up crying, and panicked for years. And the flashbacks and the depressions that came with it, and the deep feelings of the images in my nightmares of horrifying things done to the ones I love as they die and bleed. And how I just felt in general just nothing mattered, AS A 7YR OLD!

everything just is shoved onto me, and I can’t cope. The one that can only does it when I’m REALLY NOT COPING!

I had my first suicidal thoughts at like 7, and I didn’t feel like anything was worth living. I felt like everything was going to kill me in horrific ways all the time, around every corner and every little noise that was out of place sent my heart pounding.

I hate to say I’ve actually done forms of self harm, and it felt good. And it calmed me the fuck down, I hate that I know I don’t ever break the skin but the days keep going and the urge to do more than scratch and bite grows.

and it’s not getting better at times but worst, but I still don’t go that extra step because I know I won’t be able to go back. And I know my system will hate me more than they already do, and I’ll just stay slightly suffering until it stops.

but, I feel better now. I feel cleansed of all this pent up hurt, that I could share or say. I feel better, my advice is to just keep living.

fuck I hate this life I live and the body I don’t take care of, but fuck living is nice. Even if it hurts.

#fictionkinfessions #fictive #ocfictive #slurs #self hate cw #abuse cw #suicide ideation cw #self harm cw #mod party cat

[fictionkinfessions]

I miss my squad,,, Hatchetman, Clover, or Mana.. if you're out there. I hope you're doing well. Though, I suspect I'm all alone, seeing as we are all OCs. But if there's even a chance that you may be out there. I wish you well.

-Spider (Star Wars OC fictive(#🌟💜))

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#fictionkinfessions #🌟💜 #spiderfictive #starwarsfictive #ocfictive #chara love #mod party cat #fictive

[fictionkinfessions]

I'm a fictive of someone's Transformers OC. I really don't do much but act as an ANP, and I'm certain he suspects nothing. Oh, you just really get into character, don't you? He can think what he likes. I will likely never trust anyone enough to reveal myself. Besides you lovely strangers! Suppose I'll just blast Will Wood, roleplay as myself, and pretend that's enough to feel alive. ~💉⚡️

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#fictionkinfessions #fictive #transformresfictive #ocfictive #mod party cat #will wood cw #mod party cat!

[fictionkinfessions]

CW War/Death

The worst part is, I remember me and my squad at Umbara. Luckily we were stationed with Kenobi instead of Krell but it was still a nightmare. I'm a medic and it was really hard grappling with the deaths of my vod'e. Luckily all 3 of my squad mates lived but seeing what was happening to the others really messed me up. We wouldn't have even been there in the first place if my squad wasn't specialized in urban battles. I just have to learn to live with the fact that I did all that I could.

-Spider (Star Wars oc fictive(#🌟💜))

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#fictionkinfessions #🌟💜 #fictive #spiderfictive #ocfictive #starwarsfictive #wars cw #death cw #mod party cat

[fictionkinfessions]

It's nice seeing other clones out there. There's me and a few of my vod in our system. What sucks is that me and all the vod I know of in the system are "non-canon" anyways, if there is anyone out there who even remembers the 87th sky corps, hello!

-Spider (Star Wars oc fictive (#🌟💜))

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#fictionkinfessions #🌟💜 #spiderfictive #fictive #ocfictive #starwarsfictive #clonewarsfictive #mod party cat