Since we finally have a (mostly) clear audio recording of a full Play To Win (replacement What The World Needs) from 2015, here are the lyrics! Corrections and help with the missing gaps welcome!
Daddy says:
“Oh daughter dear, you fill filled my heart with pride. Your words so pure, you’re (rather?) strong, The truth was by your side.”
Oh daddy dear,
They’ve cleaned my clock,
A zillion points, to none.
May I use the phone?
“Oh, pumpkin, you need to speak to one of your friends?”
No, im calling mom!
So I called mom and I told her the whole story!
“You did what?”
I spoke from my heart about the facts,
“incentive, if you do well at this debate, You can come live with me (me, me, me…)”
(Plot point!)
“Get the pen!”
And she told me something that goes a little something like,
It goes a little something like… this!
The art to win an argument,
Ain’t change much over time.
You read and rule your conflict first,
And then you change their mind.
If the judge looks like a hippie?
Your foe’s a right-wing nut!
If the judge seems like a holy hostile penecostal?
Then your foes a godless hedonistic slut!
???
Demonize your opponents,
with personal attacks.
Quote some fake authorities,
and unrelated facts!
Create a false dilema like ‘you’re with us or you ain’t!’
Ask the class a loaded question!
‘How can you say that Adolf Hitler was a saint?’
Oh, the tale of human history is ??? (Warranted ???)
(It works on a mob every time!)
This candy coated recipe,
A black and white morality.
(That’s how we like our slime! Mhh Mhh!)
The next day, at the school debate,
My moms advice applied.
We were like marine corps Stealing cookies from girl guides
The judge gave us a standing o’
“One kid broke down and cried.”
“And the winner of Uranium city debate, Miss”Rosenburg!
And that other girl!”
Yeah we won by a freakin landslide!
Look, I even got a trophy
“We got a trophy?”
Yeah, don’t touch it, you’ll break it.
“Sorry.”
In this world there’s just one sin,
Don’t play the game unless you play to win!
(You play to win!)
Why does my opposition feel the need to defend pedophiles?
(You play to win!)
And the winner is only, Miss Rosenberg!
(You play to win!)
I’m very upset, my brother just died!
“You don’t have a brother-“
Shut up!
(You play to win!)
(And we heard it here first folks ???)
Don’t tell me there’s a better use of your ambition,
Then to wipe the floor with all your competition!
Mommy dearest said there’s only one real mission!
Play to win!
Play to win!
Play to win!
Dad was there and so was mom,
for the national debate.
But where were my opponents?
They were half an hour late!
And then this kid rolls in with a wheelchair,
And begs us to forgive!
“He needed an emergency blood transfusion,
Turns out he only had three weeks left to live!”
“Debate topic:
‘Are human beings ultimately good?’”
(You play to win!)
Are you kidding me? He’s in a wheelchair.
(You play to win!)
“How are you gonna beat this guy, Ocean?”
Shut up, Constance.
“Okay.”
(You play to win!)
What would Glenn Beck do?
(You play to win!)
Aw, and he’s blind too?
“And the opposition calls, miss Rosenberg!”
My heart began to flutter,
Tears welled in my eyes,
When I looked onto my father,
As he hung his head, and sighed.
And then I saw an Angel,
In blinding lights and sparks
With a hammer and a sickle.
It was a winged Karl Marx.
And he said:
‘Child, heaven is awesome!
And everything is free,
I’ve been palling round with Jesus.
Turns out, he’s a communist.
Just like me.’
And we got something to tell you!
(Tell us Comrade!)
And we got something to say to you!
(Say it Comrade!)
Do you wanna hear it?
(Yes!)
Let me feel that Spirit!
(Yeah!)
Can I hear it two times?
(Yeah! Yeah!)
Heh.
Let’s do this!
When you wrestle with poop
(Win or lose!)
Oh, listen to me child!
(Singing blues!)
It’s gonna get on your shoe
It’s gonna be defiled!
(Gon’ be defiled!)
When the game is over!
You’re knocking on heaven’s door!
It’s only your soul, and your soul alone, that’s keeping score
You wanna kick out the crutches from a 😕?
Push an old lady down the stairs!
Steal a piece of candy from a crying little baby?
As long as you’re winning, who cares?
Take out a kid in a wheelchair,
That’s the road to perdition.
Soon you’re gonna wind up a backstabbing,
ass grabbing,
Rubberneck politician.
When you wrestle with poop
(Win or lose!)
Oh listen to me, child!
(Singing blues!)
It’s gonna get on your shoe
(Win or lose)
It’s gonna be defiled!
(Gon’ be defiled!)
And when the game is over,
You’re knocking on Heavens door,
It’s only your soul, and your soul alone, that’s keeping score.
I said it’s only your soul alone,
That’s keeping score!
Oh yeah!
(Win or lose!)
Oh listen to me, Child!
(Singing blues!)
It’s gonna get on your shoe
(Win or lose)
It’s gonna be defiled!
(Gon’ be defiled!)
And when the game is over,
You’re knocking on Heavens door,
It’s your soul, your soul alone, that’s keeping score.
When you wrestle with poop
(Win or lose!)
Oh listen to me, child!
(Singing blues!)
It’s gonna get on your shoe
(Win or lose!)
It’s gonna be defiled!
(Gon’ be defiled!)
And when the game is over,
You’re knocking on Heavens door,
It’s your soul, your soul alone, that’s keeping score.
Who’s keeping score?
(Who’s keeping score?)
Who’s keeping score?
(Who’s keeping score?)
Who’s keeping score?
(Who’s keeping score?)
Who’s keeping score?
(Who’s keeping score?)
Who’s keeping score?
(Who’s keeping score?)
It’s only your soul, your soul alone, that’s keeping score!
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Okay, I finally decided to get all my thoughts about 2015 RTC (14/02/2015) into a sort of comprehensive, semi chronological list.
. We already had a Tragic Fact recording, but it's nice to have options. Also they REALLY want you to know they'll be damned if they're working at the mall
. I love Sarah Jane Peltzer's voice
. U.R.A.N.I.U.M is nice, but, God it's hard to hear the lyrics
. According to Kholby, Noel canonically would've written "bisexual werewolf stories", and I just think Noel's terrible writing should be focused on more in fanworks
. Noel's Lament is essentially the same, but it was the version where Monique has a kid. I get why they cut it
. Ocean's dad being left-wing and her mum being right-wing makes for a really interesting conflict, and contextualises "Some of us are left-wing, some of us are right wing..."
. The full version of Play To Win is so different to how imagined it. (And pretty ableist, so yikes) Very catchy though. And I love Rielle Braid.
. Tbh I understand why the crowd loved Play To Win so much.
. As an avid Ocean fan, I really enjoy Brooke Maxwell's whole speech about her character.
. I'd love to see a woman play Mischa in an actual production, however...
. No "take a look baby, he's the real ka-ching"?
. No "Shawtyyyyyy"?
. Is this song even awesome?!?!?
. Talia:
. Let me tell you, I was jumping for joy when Small Things Become Big Things started playing. Well, more accurately, I was so happy I could have jumped for joy but I was saving my energy for other matters.
. References aside, STBBT was almost exactly how I expected it to be, although it was slightly short
. "Once I saw a homeless person eat a raccoon" I love Elliot Loran.
. "Okay, I'm totally having a nervous breakdown right now and I'm going to go grab a beer, and you guys should go grab a beer cause it's intermission" I. Love. Elliot. Loran!
. Early Space Age Bachelor Man was somehow even crazier, also, is it bad that I prefer "Their generals are on holiday, Oh Ricky Potts, what should we do?" to the current one?
. "I spent a lot of time staring at other people's skin and wishing it was my skin" I also love Sarah Jane Peltzer.
. The early Ballad was a lot more on the nose than the current one. Special shout-out to the lyrics: "At the end of the day we're just dead" and "It must be nice, To have a body attached to their head"
."AMELODYFLOATSTHROUGHTHEAITWHENSILENCEFALLSDOESNOONECARE"
. As always, Sugar Cloud is brilliant.
. "Isn't that recorder solo the bomb?" Did I mention I love everyone in this cast?
. Three things one guy on the team suggested: Jane gets wings and ascends into the sky. Everyone comes back to life. KARNAK GETS A SONG?!?
. It's Not A Game/ It's Just A Ride really hasn't changed much in 8 years.
. "Kelly, is there anything that doesn't make you cry?"
. La La Love: La la la, lala, la la la. La LALALA?!?
In conclusion, always check SoundCloud.
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here's what i recovered from Play To Win from RTC (i made the lyrics a little less....... ableist) (i have the lyrics for the og ver. too but i'm not gonna post those) i'm not sure if i recovered all of it, but its about a minute and a half of singing time, i can link Kholby's ver. and the OG in another post!!
The art to win an argument
Ain’t changed much over time
You read and rule your public first
And then you change their mind
If the judge seems like a hippie
Then your foe’s a right-wing nut
If your judge seems like a holy hostile Pentecostal
Then your foe’s a godless hedonistic slut
Demonise your opponents
With personal attacks
Quote some fake authorities
And unrelated facts
Create a false dilemma
Like you’re with us or ya ain’t
Ask the putz a loaded question
How could you say H--ler was a saint
In this world there’s just one sin
Don’t play the game unless you play to win
You gotta be defile
When the game is over
You’re knocking on heaven’s door
It’s only your soul, your soul alone
That’s keeping score
You wanna kick out the crutches from the injured?(Oh no!)
Push an old lady down the stairs? (Dear lord!)
Steal a piece of candy from a crying little baby?
As long as you’re winning, who cares? (Who cares?)
Take out a screamin’ toddler
That’s the road to perdition
Soon you’re gonna wind up
A backstabbing, ass grabbing
Rubber necked politician
When you wrestle with poop (Win or lose!)
Oh listen to me child (Win or lose!)
It’s gonna get on your shoe (Win or lose!)
It’s gonna be defile!
Now when the game is over
Heavens door
It’s only your soul, your soul alone
That’s keeping score
I said it’s only your soul (Who’s keeping score)
It’s only your soul, your soul alone
That’s keeping score
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