#ST is my escape from the horrors of life

[little-lovett]

i’m not a fan of the possessive, self righteous i-know-the-show-better-you’re-a-fake-fan energy up in here i see sometimes. we’re all here because we adore this show. that is a beautiful thing!!!! we love something SO MUCH collectively that we have a little community to be crazy about it together. so why bring in all that gross dividing energy? sweeney todd is a piece of art and a very complicated one at that. we are allowed to interpret it a certain way and still respect different interpretations. let us have our messed up ships. let us have our stupid headcannons. let us have our favorite actors/actresses. no one’s changing the objective story or manipulating characters beyond recognition. we are watching and analyzing and learning new things about these characters and this story we all love so much. i understand the deep passion and appreciation for the original story and production of sweeney todd. i share that. i also love geeking out about sweenett and josh groban and annaleigh ashford. two things can be true at once. i think a lot of this division comes from differing feelings about the revival. first of all, can we be happy this incredible musical is THRIVING on broadway and getting thousands of new fans? so many people have been pulled into this delicious, dark rabbit hole only because of the revival, myself included. of course some things in the show were adjusted for modern audiences. mrs. lovett reads sexier and sweeney a bit softer because people like that shit (also modern audiences are dense and cannot pick up very subtle messages.) i believe the original production intended that dynamic between sweeney and lovett as well. stephen sondheim The Creator has indicated such himself. this one is just more upfront with it so audiences can understand explicitly and get the most out of the show. people love dark, sad romances and evil hot girls. and the show is doing AMAZING. you can have your harsh criticisms on the current production and actors. you can be boring and hold a hateful grudge against the revival. fine!! you’re missing out!!! but don’t make it the problem of people who love it and are having fun. please stop ostracizing people and giving yourself a medal for having a closed mind.

happy new year xoxo

#rant #pls!!! can i feel safe here?? thanks!! #ST is my escape from the horrors of life #(ironically) #so do not plague it with your misery #someone tell me to shut the fuck up #sweeney todd #sweeney todd revival #broadway #annaleigh ashford #josh groban #musical theatre #nellie lovett #sondheim #sweeney todd broadway #benjamin barker #all the tags #mrs lovett #sweeney todd the demon barber of fleet street #stephen sondheim #musicals

[oldfashionedbooklove]

tell me about your favorite lm montgomery novel please <3

Okay this is SO hard because her books are amazing but I just have to admit Rilla of Ingleside is my favourite, which is saying a lot because I LOVE HER BOOKS, okay! I adore the Story Girl duology and I absolutely love the Anne series and Jane of Lantern Hill.

But Rilla. This book is a heartbreaker. And it’s so beautiful.

I don’t know if I can fully express how much is to be found in this book. I have been reading it yearly for many years, and always come away with new thoughts. As I grow older, and see more of the world, I relate and understand more, and another level of the book is discovered.

The setting—a small P.E.I. town carrying on through WWI. I’m pretty tough when it comes to war books, but I have to take breaks from this one because it is so raw and real. The agony is intense. I cannot even cry over it—my heart hurts too much for tears. This shows exactly what the Great War was for people. You sway back and forth, feeling the dread and terror. You know how it ends but you are broken anyhow. And when the end comes, you too can only rejoice softly. You feel as if you have paid part of the price yourself.

“‘We’re in a new world,’ Jem says, ‘and we’ve got to make it a better one than the old. That isn’t done yet, though some folks seem to think it ought to be. The job isn’t finished—it isn’t really begun. The old world is destroyed and we must build up the new one. It will be the task of years. I’ve seen enough of war to realize that we’ve got to make a world where wars can’t happen. We’ve given Prussianism its mortal wound but it isn’t dead yet and it isn’t confined to Germany either. It isn’t enough to drive out the old spirit—we’ve got to bring in the new.’”

The characters in this book—they are alive. Splendid Jem, brave and merry and true; Jerry, steady and dutiful; Walter, sensitive and courageous; Carl, cheerful and fearless; Shirley, honest and reliable; Nan and Di and Anne, all heart-wrung and smiling; Gertrude, tragic and grasping for hope; the Doctor, determined and self-sacrificing; Susan, simple and true—and Rilla, who starts out a silly, frivolous girl and ends a strong, mature woman. Then there are all the minor and side characters—the Merediths, Cousin Sophia, Jimsy, Ken, Irene, Whiskers-on-the-Moon & his family, Mary and the Elliotts, Norman + Ellen, and everyone else. They’re all so alive, so real, so funny and terrible and beautiful—I swear Glen St. Mary exists and all the inhabitants thereof.

The story follows the Great War, from the first days in August 1914 to the bitter Summer of 1919, where peace has come but normal will never return. As a child, this story was simply World War One—a faraway, long-ago grief and horror and agony. Now, in 2024, as a woman, I have experienced a slight taste of what the people of 1914 felt, and it has humanized the story of the War. This, more than any other book I have read, brings the War and the world of 1914-1918 to life, showing how they were people just like us. The heart is wrung by their suffering, and there is no escape, for the war must drag on for long bitter years. And the price! Walter has become the face of unknown, forgotten heroes, and Jem has become that of the scarred heroes who returned. Every November we grieve the young men who never came home, and for the ones who came home missing a part of themselves, physical or otherwise. I have wept thinking of the children of Rilla, Ken, Faith, Jem, and the others—children who fought in WWII and whose parents were forced to relive the horrible conflict of mankind.

“It has been such a dreadful week,” she wrote, “and even though it is over and we know that it was all a mistake that does not seem to do away with the bruises left by it. And yet it has in some ways been a very wonderful week and I have had some glimpses of things I never realized before—of how fine and brave people can be even in the midst of horrible suffering.”

And yet the book overflows with humour—real laugh-out-loud scenes and witty, clever banter on princes and politics. It is another aspect of the humanity—the part that cannot fully let go of laughing despite the drain. Another angle is the shrewd commentary on principalities and powers, nations and cultures, is thought-provoking, as is the remarks that show us how the war truly changed the world.

“There was a time,” she said sorrowfully, “when I did not care what happened outside of P.E. Island, and now a king cannot have a toothache in Russia or China but it worries me. It may be broadening to the mind, as the doctor said, but it is very painful to the feelings.”

But the biggest things to me is the SPIRIT of this book. The spirit of perseverance, endurance, courage, and love. Of course, man is man, and there is suspicion, contempt, and a feeling of superiority—but this is not exclusive only to Anglo-Saxons. As someone who isn’t Anglo-Saxon myself, and actually of mixed cultures, I can attest every nation is guilty of such. World War One was a battle of good vs. evil—not of man vs. man, but Idea against Idea—the idea of civilization against militarism. Perhaps not on the part of the leaders—but when one studies the writings, letters, poems, and speeches of the everyday folks caught up in the war, one sees this distinction plainly. It was not a war of European against European, Anglo-Saxon against German—it was a war between an old, terrible Idea of Prussianism (Frederick the Great, anyone?) and the Idea of Respect and Peace.

“And you will tell your children of the Idea we fought and died for—teach them it must be lived for as well as died for, else the price paid for it will have been given for nought.”

May we never forget.

A REMARK: I discovered that Rilla of Ingleside was abridged by about 4,300 words (~14 pages), so I searched for an unabridged copy. I definitely encourage you to take the extra trouble to find an *unabridged* copy. It is SO worth it! I’ve read both versions and the unabridged is so much fuller, with a great deal more humour and fun.

I just have to pick out my favourite quotes, too…

“We all come back to God in these days of soul-sifting,” said Gertrude to John Meredith. “There have been many days in the past when I didn't believe in God—not as God—only as the impersonal Great First Cause of the scientists. I believe in Him now—I have to—there's nothing else to fall back on but God—humbly, starkly, unconditionally.”

“‘Our help in ages past’—‘the same yesterday, to-day and for ever,’ said the minister gently. ‘When we forget God—He remembers us.’”

Below her [window] was a big apple-tree, a great swelling cone of rosy blossom.... Beyond Rainbow Valley there was a cloudy shore of morning with little ripples of sunrise breaking over it. The far, cold beauty of a lingering star shone above it. Why, in this world of springtime loveliness, must hearts break?

And I can’t leave without some humour:

“‘The Germans have recaptured Premysl,’ said Susan despairingly… ‘and now I suppose we will have to begin calling it by that uncivilized name again. Cousin Sophia was in when the mail came and when she heard the news she hove a sigh up from the depths of her stomach, Mrs. Dr. dear, and said, ‘Ah yes, and they will get Petrograd next I have no doubt.’ I said to her, ‘My knowledge of geography is not so profound as I wish it was but I have an idea that it is quite a walk from Premysl to Petrograd.’ Cousin Sophia sighed again and said, ‘The Grand Duke Nicholas is not the man I took him to be.’ ‘Do not let him know that,’ said I. ‘It might hurt his feelings and he has likely enough to worry him as it is.’ But you cannot cheer Cousin Sophia up, no matter how sarcastic you are, Mrs. Dr. dear. She sighed for the third time and groaned out, ‘But the Russians are retreating fast,’ and I said, ‘Well, what of it? They have plenty of room for retreating, have they not?’ But all the same, Mrs. Dr. dear, though I would never admit it to Cousin Sophia, I do not like the situation on the eastern front. [But] Grand Duke Nicholas, though he may have been a disappointment to us in some respects, knows how to run away decently and in order, and that is a very useful knowledge when Germans are chasing you. Norman Douglas declares he is just luring them on and killing ten of them to one he loses. But I am of the opinion he cannot help himself and is just doing the best he can under the circumstances, the same as the rest of us.’”

#rilla of ingleside #lm montgomery #lmmontgomery #Lucy Maud Montgomery

[gt-jar]

G/t snippet #1

Word count: >1k

CW: near-death experience? (nothing graphic)

Henry clings to the tree for dear life. He can hear the thundering footsteps in the distance. They are getting louder, which means...

The giant is getting closer.

He bites his lip, keeping himself from sobbing loudly. He needs to stay quiet, needs to stay hidden. He can't run anymore, everything hurts. Hiding is his only chance.

If the giant finds him then...

The boy doesn't want to think about what will happen then. He just hopes that the giant will walk in a different direction, far far away from the tree he's hidding in. His hopes are crushed, when a deep voice calls out.

"Kid, please come out! I swear, I just want to help you!"

Henry flinches, digging his nails deeper into the bark of the tree. The voice is so loud. The giant must be close. Why can't he just leave him alone? Maybe he's lucky, there still is a chance that the giant will just walk by. He looks down to check and pales.

The giant is standing right under him, looking around.

Looking for him.

A whimper escapes him against his will and this is what seals his fate.The giant looks up and their eyes meet. The surprised look on his face turns into something softer.

"Hey, there you are," the giant says softly.

For the first time since spotting the human, he gets a good look at the boy, and god, he looks so frail and tiny. Way too young to be all alone. The fearful look on his face breaks the giant's heart. Knowing he's the cause for the boy's fear just makes him feel worse.

"G-go away!" the child cries, "Leave me alone!"

The giant winces. The child's reaction doesn't surprise him, but it pains him no less.

"I know you're scared, but I can't just leave you here. It's not safe. There's a storm coming up. Please let me help you."

"I don't want your help!"

The little boy sounds like he's close to tears.

All the giant wants is to scoope him up and ease his fears, but he can't reach him while he's up in the tree, and maybe that's for the best. He doubts the child would want to be comforted by him. He has to convince the boy to climb down on his own.

The giant tries a different approach.

"Do you really want to stay here? It gets really cold at night. Don't you want a warm place to sleep and a warm meal?"

This makes Henry falter. As if on cue his stomach starts to growl.

The giant smiles sadly at him.

"You must be so hungry. But you don't have to be, you can have as much food as you want, all you have to do is climb down."

The boy is conflicted. It has been three days since he ate something. Everything is so unfair. The offer sounds too good to be true. He really wants to take it, but...

"How do I know that you don't want to trick me?"

The giant makes a sad sound.

"Sweetheart, I don't know what types of horror storys you were told about me, but I can guarantee they are not true, I don't mean any harm," the giant pauses, "I know you don't believe me, but maybe there's something I can do to prove it?"

"I don't know," Henry sniffles quietly. He is too exhausted to think of something.

"That's okay. I'll just wait here until you come up with something."

The giant sits down and leans against the tree. He doesn't do anything, he just.... waits, like he said.

Henry doesn't know how much time goes by. It has started to rain a while ago. The tree shields him from the rain for the most part, the same can't be said about the giant. He's still sitting under the tree, waiting, getting all wet.

"Why are you doing this?" Henry croaks, not sure if the giant even hears him.

"I just want to make sure you're safe. You can trust me when I'm saying that you don't have to be afraid of me. How about this, you come down and I'll take you to my place. I can make you something to eat, while we wait out the storm. How does this sound?"

'Good' Henry thinks silently. He is tired, cold and so so hungry. Maybe he does need the giant's help. Without thinking about the possible consequences, the boy starts to climb down.

Suddenly a loud clap of thunder echos through the forest, startling him and causing him to slip.

He is falling.

The giant yells something, but he can't understand it over the sound of his own screams.

This is it.

This is how he'll die.

Suddenly, Henry stops falling. He collides with something solid. But it doesn't feel like the ground. He looks around and realizes that he is sitting in a pair of hands. The boy looks up and once again meets the giant's concerned eyes.

They look so warm.

"ARE YOU HURT?"

All at once Henry starts to cry, but not because he's hurt. Right now he's just overwhelmed. The stress of the last few days comes crashing down. 

He's pulled against a warm chest and is rocked back and forth. The giant is hugging him, whispering words of comfort.

"Shh, it's okay, little one. I've got you now. You're safe. Trust me, everything is going to be okay."

And this time Henry believes him.

#giant/tiny #g/t #g/t community #g/t writing #parental g/t #yep i'm gonna use this tag #my-writing-jar #edited version

[ykzzr]

Deadly love (22 June 1908)

(On this day 115 years ago, Prince Nikolai Yusupov and Count Arvid Manteuffel duel took place, in which Nikolai was killed for his beloved Marina.)

In March 1908, at one of the dinners of amateur artists from high society youth, Nikolai was introduced to the young Countess Marina Haydn. Marina, as a lady-in-waiting to the Empress, was invited to take part in a charity performance.

She was 19 years old and was about to marry the captain of the Life Guards Cavalry Regiment, Count Arvid Ernstovich Manteuffel, heir to an old Baltic family.

Yusupov played the role of a man in the play, and Marina unexpectedly boldly chose the role of a nasty hunchbacked old woman, who played her role deftly and cheerfully. Nikolai Yusupov could not help but pay attention to such a charming girl.

Their meeting can be called a fatal chance. Passion broke out between them instantly, and the fact that Marina's wedding took place a month later did not stop them.

Nikolai Yusupov was going to marry Marina, but his mother, Zinaida Nikolaevna Yusupova, did not agree to this marriage.

When Marina learned of Zinaida's refusal to see her as her son's wife, she began begging her lover: "Let's run outside and get married!" They planned to escape, but Marina's mother intervened: she couldn't allow her daughter to escape so shamefully before the wedding with a man.

The girl tearfully begged her parents to cancel the wedding, but to no avail. On the eve of the wedding, the two lovers met. On April 22, 1908, Nikolai Yusupov and Marina Gaydin arranged a farewell dinner in a separate room of the restaurant, Marina and Arvid Manaville's wedding took place on April 23, 1908, as planned. There were three hundred guests at the wedding. Zinaida Nikolaevna Yusupova sighed softly: this is all resolved.

After the wedding, they went to France for their honeymoon. Left alone with her unloved husband, the beautiful, eccentric Marina realizes the horror of her situation as a recluse in a golden cage, She bombarded Nikolai Yusupov daily with passionate letters, begging him to come, and Nikolai followed marina to France

Marina asked her husband for a divorce, but was refused. Seizing the moment, she secretly met Nikolai Yusupov, who settled nearby at the Hotel Maurice in Paris.

After that, Marina and Nikolai, as if forgetting about decency, appear together in society, at fairs, at operas and restaurants. Arvid finds out quickly enough and demands an explanation from his wife, Marina in the midst of a quarrel, boldly says to her husband: "I'm leaving you. It's all over between us!" Indeed, she leaves her husband.

Inspired, Nikolai Yusupov writes a letter to his mother and again asks permission to marry Marina, who is on the verge of a divorce.

Then Count Manteuffel, in order not to become a laughing stock in society, challenges Yusupov to a duel. He is instigated by regimental comrades: "Yusupov insulted your honor and dignity! It can't be left like that. Only a duel..."

Nikolai wrote to his beloved Marina in their last letter:

“I am not afraid of death, but it’s hard for me to die away from you without seeing you one last time.

Goodbye forever, I love you."

The duel took place on June 22, 1908 in St. Petersburg, on Krestovsky Island At the predawn hour.

At 8 o'clock in the morning on June 22, 1908, Nikolai Yusupov was mortally wounded in the chest. An honest passion cost the prince his life: the cold-bloodedly offended Manteuffel shot Nikolai, who shot twice into the air, from a distance of fifteen steps.

Felix Yusupov described this tragic day as follows: “I heard tearful cries from my father's room I entered and saw him very pale in front of the stretcher on which the body of Nikolai was stretched out, my mother, kneeling before him seemed to have lost her mind. With great difficulty they separated her from her son's body and put her to bed after they had Calmed down a bit, she called me but when she saw it she thought it was her brother it was an unbearable sight then the mother fell into prostration and when she came to herself she would not let me go for a moment.

Nikolai Feliksovich Yusupov was buried in the Arkhangelsk family estate. Marina begged Nikolai's family for permission to say goodbye to her lover, but she was refused. Shaken by Yusupov's death, Marina was in a terrible state. Her family sent her to a clinic in Geneva, where she spent several months.

Marina and Arvid's life is turned upside down: they become outcasts in society. She is a shameless married woman who killed a brilliant young man, a cold-blooded killer.

They finally got divorced. Count Manteville left military service, went first to Latvia, and then to France, where he died in 1931 at the age of 52.

Marina in 1916 married Colonel Mikhail Mikhailovich Chichagov, with whom she left for Europe. They had one son, who died in infancy. Marina and Mikhail's marriage collapsed.

At the end of her life, Marina Haydn published the book "Sapphire brings misfortune", which was published in only 100 copies. Marina Alexandrovna died alone in Monte Carlo in 1974 at the age of 86. Marina Haydn kept Nikolai Yusupov's letter as a great relic.

#nikolai yusupov #felix yusupov #zinaida yusupova #yusupov #prince nikolai yusupov #prince felix yusupov #Nikolai Felixovich yusupov #Felix felixovich yusupov #Yusupov family #1908 #1900s

[strickland527]

Jonathan Byers

So I’m gonna come back and dip my toes in the stranger things fandom for a hot second here, as I’ve binged the show with the kids (who love it). 

I keep reading on here that Jonathan has “regressed” as a character (especially compared to Steve as that’s who Jonathan is always compared to) this season and I kinda wanna know what show these people are watching? Look, the Duffers aren’t especially great or especially subtle writers, but Jonathan DOES have a solid arc in season 4, certainly compared to seasons 2/3. And he has a larger arc across the series.

Steve’s arc is simple: become a better and less selfish person. Stip being an asshole. And he does it with aplomb. It’s easy to see the growth from season to season. 

Jonathan’s arc is more complex: he’s already a pretty good guy and about as selfless a character that exists on the show when it starts. Instead, he’s gotta become less solitary, less walled off, less “acting like he’s all alone in the world”. Because as Joyce says, he’s not. 

But that’s a process for Jonathan. Season one ends with him going from no friends outside of his brother, to one friend. Nancy. Now there’s a whole other post about that relationship, but needless to say as season two starts, Jonathan is talking to an actual person in school about stuff. He walks the halls with Nancy talking about plans and smiling. Compared to the only school scene in season one he has where no one talks to him, Nancy aside, and he leaves after placing a poster on the wall. 

Season three is mainly about the relationship with Nancy. How it deepens and grows, how they challenge each other and push each other. But even in a season where he doesn’t grow much, Jonathan is still shown opening up more. His argument with Nancy is revealing about his fears, his role in his family and shows a kid who’s had to eat a lot of shit in life to provide for his family. The scars slowly open and get some sunlight.

Which brings us to season four. Jonathan is thousands of miles from Nancy and on his own. He’s smoking pot (good for him, he needs it) and, most importantly, has an actual friend. That he has actual conversations about his future and his past and his feelings with. Jonathan Byers is actually sharing his feelings with people. He’s opening up to someone other than Nancy. He’s literally progressing as a character. 

Jonathan is literally coming out of the shell that circumstance and Lonnie beat him into. He’s also freed of a huge amount of responsibility now that his mother has a good job and he’s not required to work to help pay the bills. So he gets stoned a lot. And again, good for him. This kid hasn’t had much of a childhood. He didn’t get to “act like teenagers” as Steve once put it, because he couldn’t. He had too much responsibility. 

But even as a stoner, he’s still not “regressing”. Dude applied to a community college and got into it. He’s gonna graduate high school. He’s welcomed Eleven into his family, considers her his “sister”. And before he does all that, he’s gonna get a little high as the season opens and ignore the looming responsibility. 

But he’s Jonathan Byers, so he can’t ignore it for long. He senses Will’s emotional turmoil brewing as the season opens. And eventually he acts on that turmoil, in a way that his brother desperately needed. It’s the picture of him and Nancy that spurs him on, essentially setting the Cali crew’s escape and eventual rescue of Eleven into motion. He’s pushed (yet again) into a position of leadership and responsibility and he takes it on. 

Yes, there’s still things with Nancy to work out because the show isn’t particularly well written and the writers wanna milk out the drama the triangle brings, but even then he’s seen facing the horror of what’s coming with the rest of his family, (the family that’s at the heart of the entire story) hand in hand with Nancy.

Jonathan HAS progressed as a character. It’s not really subtle at all. He’s becoming a more open and social person. Compared to where he started it’s a massive improvement. And it’s progress. It’s just not the obvious kind of Steve Harrington progress so it gets ignored and swept aside. Which is a shame. 

#stranger things #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #i just think he's a good dude that the fandom shits on for some reason #am i back on this hellsite? #maybe for a little while i guess

[neverenoughmarauders]

Honestly my fave marauders story

And it’s not really the marauders. It’s AU, Peter doesn’t escape. Sirius and Remus live together - platonically but wonderfully (not all stories about love have to be love stories). Sirius’ first focus is Harry; the second his friend and his life. And I’m here for every second of it. It’s love for Sirius. It’s love for James. It’s love for Remus. It’s love for Harry. And none of the characters are flawless <3

Here’s one of my fave extracts:

It was quite wonderful, having the whole of the British Isles open to him as a possibility to set up home in. He knew he wanted to get out of London. When he was seventeen, he'd bought a flat in Bristol, which had the benefit of being a city and not too far from James' parents, but now he thought he wouldn't mind the countryside so much either. It would probably be easier to set up somewhere for Harry to play quidditch there too.

"Oxfordshire's nice." Remus suggested as the two of them discussed the matter one evening. "It's where my parents lived before they moved us up north. But Yorkshire was very pleasant too."

Sirius remembered. He'd enjoyed the short few hours he'd spent at Remus' having snuck away there without permission after his first year. It had been so green and hilly with its picturesque rolling dales. A world away from concrete London.

"Can't understand a word they say though."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Don't be daft."

"Daft." He imitated, emphasising the shorter vowel.

"I'm not really northern." Remus said, a little defensively, it had to be said. "But if I was, would that be such a bad thing?"

"No comment."

"Southern fairy."

"Northern monkey."

Remus flicked a spoonful of custard at him.

"I rest my case." Sirius said.

In the end, Sirius decided to talk to Harry about it. He met up with him in Hogsmeade one weekend and they'd gone for a drink.

"Oh my God." "It's Sirius Black!"

Students stared and pointed as he and Harry sat with their butterbeers in The Three Broomsticks.

Harry grinned at him. "It's nice not being the one being stared and pointed at for a change."

Sirius flicked his butterbeer foam at him.

"I don't mind." Harry said predictably as Sirius asked him where he'd like to live.

"What about near Ron? Ottery St Catchpole, right? Near the coast…?"

"That sounds nice." Harry said, though a little noncommittally, Sirius couldn't help but notice.

He frowned at his godson. "Where would you like to live, Harry?" He got the distinct impression he was holding back on something.

Harry looked down at the table then back up tentatively. "Sirius, where did my parents live?"

Sirius smiled. Of course. Why hasn't he thought of that? "You want to live in Godric's hollow." He said. "It's perfect."

He soon realised why he hadn't thought about it when he arrived in the little village with Remus the following week.

Being back here, in the place where Lily and James had lived and later died brought back memories that made it almost impossible to continue.

"Do you remember, we used to go for drinks here." He said to Remus, indicating the little pub on the high street. "Lily always insisted on inviting that bloody Bathilda. I can't say I particularly enjoyed her company." He'd spent far too many hours in history of magic at Hogwarts to appreciate being lectured at in his adult life too.

"Do you want to see it?" Remus said quietly.

Sirius didn't have to ask what he was referring to.

The last time he'd been to the cottage Lily and James had lived in had been the night they'd died. The memory of it still made his blood run cold. The terror, grief, horror and disbelief he'd felt on seeing their lifeless bodies was something that would stay with him forever.

"I dunno." He said. "Maybe when Harry's with us."

He'd do it for his godson. Surely Harry had a right to see where they lived. They would go together one day.

#a new life #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #anti marauders fanon #canon marauders #Sirius black #Remus Lupin #Harry Potter

[t-h-i-n-g]

Hi! I had a little request idea for Max Mayfield if you’d like to take a crack at it:

Max and R watching a horror movie. R is constantly teasing Max about being scared but Max acts all tough and it’s just all really cute and fluffy.

Pale Knuckles

Gif by @strangerthingsedits

a/n: hi hi hiiiii, sorry this is a little short it was kinda hard to drag it out, but I hope you're happy with it :)

word count: 500+

summary: max hates horror movies. she knows you know that, but she's not going to give you the satisfaction of seeing her scared of a little blood... Or will she?

warnings: horror movies, the usual stuff that's in horror movies( blood, knives,ext.), if I missed any let me know!!!!!

st - masterlist m.masterlist

----------------

A lurch was felt next to you as a jump scare popped up onto the screen. A few rows ahead of you popcorn flew into the air followed by a muffled yelp.

Snorting to yourself you looked to your left to see a hand gripping on to your shared arm of the theater seats. The screen lights illuminated the red heads white knuckles as she pushed herself back into the cushions. Max's expression read pure fear.

Muffling a laugh at her terrified face, you placed a comforting palm over Max's wrist. Instantly she snapped her head to your direction. With the most upheld sympathetic expression you could muster, you squeezed her forearm gently

"Do you want to hold my hand?" You asked. Max almost fell for the caring act but the teasing glint in your eyes exposed everything. A scowl grew on her features while she snatched her hand away.

"No," her response was a simple but forceful answer.

"Are you sure?" You whispered. She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I'm sure," she stated in a sarcastic tone. Somebody in the row behind you shushed at her loud town and Max quickly looked back at them and threw them the bird.

Suspenseful music filled the room as she turned back around. The sight of a frighten girl hiding took over the screen. Out of the corner of her eye Max could see you grabbing a fistful of popcorn into your hold. Her gaze went back back to the movie.

And running to a random bedroom she went. Without closing or locking the door behind her she nearly slipped on the wooden floors. Frantically looking around she searched for some sort of escape. Going to the window it wouldn't budge. An alternate solution didn't seem possibly as the killers mask took over the illumination. He slowly opened each door. Max tensed as he grew closer to the open room.

Once he did enter the girl was no where in sight. That was until it cut to a shot of her under the bed. No box spring between her and the mattress of course. Heavy foot falls sounded through the quiet theater. Everyone was on the edge of their seats as they waited for the result. The suspense was deafening. The boots of the masked man walked so close to the girls face she could reach out and touch them. He stopped at the foot of the bed. Listening intently he searched for any sign of movement, from the closet or some basket possibly.

With a hand over her mouth the woman squeezed her eyes shut. Most likely hoping and praying the killed would just leave.

And he seemily did.

However Max screeched as a long blade was plunged into the mattress. Making the girls body still and causing blood to spill everywhere. Horrible sounds and loud music bounced off the walls.

Max had reached into your lap. Gripping into you hand for dear life like it was her life line. Giggling was heard next to her and Max looked over to you. A smirk was plastered onto your face.

"Shut up," she grumbled, bringing your conjoined hands onto the arm once more

"I didn't say anything," you defended.

"I can just here what your thinking. Stop thinking it."

"Thinking what? That the big bad Max Mayfield is a baby when it comes to horror movies?"

"I am not a baby-"

"Shhhh." Max snapped her head around, getting ready to stand up.

"How about I teach you how to shush-"

------------

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[clericofshadows]

don't ask about Ryuusei

Description: Regis Shepard receives an odd invite from Joker, which leads to him falling through a fish tank, being taken care of his lovers, and finding out that there's an identity theft plot against him--all in that order.

Pairing: Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani

Rating: M

Word Count: ~14K

Regis was sitting at his desk, scrolling through his terminal when he saw a message from Moreau pop up.

Shepard, I've got a few things I wanted to go over with you. With the Normandy in dry dock, I figured we could meet up at that Ryuusei sushi place down in the Wards. I hear it's the best. Joker

Something was a bit off on the tone of the email, but it wouldn’t be the first time Moreau made EDI type up something for him.  He didn’t recognize the name of the restaurant, but the mention of sushi made him pull a face so he searched it up.  The first link revealed that it was not only a fancy, high-end sushi place but also housed in a fucking fish tank.  He knows how much Regis hates fish.  Hell, he was there when Regis boasted about getting the Cerberus crew to remove the eye-sore in his cabin.

So why would he ever suggest Ryuusei over any other restaurant?  Regis will go the extra mile for some of his crew, but taking someone out to a fish tank themed restaurant is crossing the damn line.

He pushed the chair away from his desk and stalked back over to the living room.  Kaidan made a concerned expression, sensing his anger from a mile away, making room for him on the couch.

“I’m going to murder him,” Regis said, flopping back down on the couch, pulling his omnitool out to show his husbands. “What the hell is this?”

Zaeed looked over his shoulder, squinting his eyes at the omnitool. “Are you sure it’s from him?”

“I’ve scanned it, ran it through my filters. Do you want me to message my friend in infosec? It’s legit,” he replied. “I’ve already looked up the place. It’s a fucking fish tank that only serves sushi and seafood. I’ll pass.”

“Joker’s an ass, but he’s not an idiot,” Kaidan said. Fair point to make. Moreau values his life over jokes when it comes to Regis. Most of the time. “Want us to go with you?”

“I might need some material witnesses, but I’d argue you’re both too damn biased to be of any use,” Regis said, turning to kiss Kaidan on the cheek. “I appreciate the offer, though.”

“That’s what Spectre authorizations are for, right? Abuse your goddamn power. Wipe your slate clean,” Zaeed chuckled. “So, are you going to go?”

“Might as well. What’s the worst that could happen?”

He could get food poisoning again.  He was fifteen years old, and his mother took him out to a place on Arcturus known for its seafood.  He was sick for days afterwards, his mother somehow escaping from the horror that he felt.

Regis swore off fish in any form since then. 

“I could think of a few things,” Kaidan said, furrowing his eyebrows. “You just jinxed us.”

Regis rolled his eyes. “Just be on standby, loves. Hell, why did this place highly recommend formal wear? I rather not waste one of my suits on Moreau.”

“Think of you wearing one of those suits as something we can take off of you later,” Zaeed said, leaning over the couch to whisper in his ear.

Regis smirked, pulling him in for a kiss. “You have good ideas, Massani. Fine, I’ll wear one of my suits. But not my nicest one.”

He got up from the couch. “I’ll be back. Don’t follow me, because I know damn well you’ll make me late.”

“What? We would never,” Kaidan replied, laying his hand on his chest in mock offense.

Regis walked backwards to the stairs. “Bullshit. I can see you two already scheming.”

“Only about tonight, baby,” Zaeed said, curling up next to Kaidan. “We would never sabotage an important meeting.”

Regis stopped at the stairwell, a hand on the railing. He glared at them with narrowed eyes. “Sure,” he said, drawing out the word. “And I’m definitely straight.”

“The horror!” Kaidan chuckled.  “Go get ready.  We’ll hold down the fort.”

Regis smiled as he walked up the stairs into their bedroom, opening the closet and sorting through his suits.  He grabbed a red vest, a black button down, slacks, and a pair of his combat boots.  For comfort.  He grabbed his silicone wedding rings and placed them on top of each other on his ring finger, keeping the real ones safe on his dog tags hanging in the jewelry box.

He also reached for his holster, designed to fit his N7 Eagle perfectly underneath his shoulder.  

Sitting on his weapon bench was one of his visors.  A thinner, smaller model turians tend to prefer to use, recently co-opted and refitted for human use.  He tucked it in his vest pocket, one of the arms of the visor hanging off the side of his pocket.

Because you never know.

He took his time getting ready, ensuring no piece was out of place.  He finished up by finger-combing some product in his hair and rubbing some oil into this beard.

When he walked down the stairs, rolling up his sleeves, revealing his inked arms, Zaeed let out a whistle.  Regis rolled his eyes as he stood in front of the couch, twirling around so they could look at his outfit.  “Good enough to take off of me later?”

“I don’t know,” Zaeed said, a sparkle in his eye.  “This is a picture I want to keep.  May just have to worship you with it on, only taking just enough off to make you writhe.”

Regis gave him a look , but he doubted it had much fire behind it.  “You are not going to ruin my suit.”  Zaeed held up his hands in surrender, keeping that smug expression on his face.  Bastard.  That’s all Regis is going to think about during the damn meet up.

Dry cleaning does exist…

Kaidan shook his head at Zaeed’s comment.  “Do you really need the Eagle?” He asked, pointing at the holster.

“I’m a Spectre.  I can open carry,” Regis said, crossing his arms.  “Too much?”

“Yes, I know you’re a Spectre.” Kaidan rolled his eyes.  Regis stuck out his tongue.  “Nah.  It suits you.  Makes it clear how you feel about the meeting.”

“I’m going to be pissed if I find out this could’ve been a damn email.” Regis said.  He stepped forward to kiss the both of them on the cheek.  “I’ll be back soon.”

“Try not to kill our pilot.  Don’t have many of those that will put up with our crew,” Zaeed called out as Regis opened the door.

He shot him a one-fingered salute in response.

The ride to the restaurant was quick enough.  Regis toyed with the rings on his finger, twisting them around.  He wasn’t anxious, per se, but he wasn’t exactly looking forward to the meeting.

Mostly because he was going to give Moreau one hell of an earful.  

The skycar stopped and he stepped outside, looking at the line of people.  As he walked to the end of the line, all eyes on the first Human Spectre and Admiral, the host waved him forward.  He sighed and got out of his place in line, stepping onto the fish tank floors, looking down on them with barely disguised annoyance.  Moreau waved him over to a table in the back, a grin on his face and wearing a casual blazer and jeans.  

Okay, something is weird.  Something is definitely up.  There’s no way he’ll ever be this enthusiastic about a meeting with Regis.  They tolerate each other, and that’s it.

He almost wanted to see if someone was behind him.

He walked over to the table and sat down, lacing his fingers together on the table.

Moreau’s gaze landed on his gun.  “Uh, was that really necessary?”

“Oh, you mean this?” Regis pointed at his holster.  “I don’t know. Why the hell did you invite me to what I could consider the biggest abomination of a restaurant on the Citadel?  You know I would’ve been perfectly fine at a damn noodle stand.”

“Wait a minute, you messaged me .  For a second, I thought it was a prank.  I mean, hello–” he gestured around.  “I know you.  This is your personal hell, but maybe you decided to let that all go to celebrate your favorite pilot.”

“My favorite pilot is EDI,” Regis deadpanned, keeping his face neutral as Moreau clutched at his chest in offense.  “Shit, so you got a message from me, and I got a message from you… I knew I should’ve involved infosec.”

“You were about to involve infosec?  Let me see that message you got,” he replied.  Regis obliged, pulling up his omnitool.  He read over it quickly.   “That’s weird.  My message is almost the same, except from you.”

“My filters and scans didn’t pick up any anomalies, so I just assumed you had EDI write and send it like you have a tendency of doing,” Regis replied, shutting it off.  “This isn’t good.”

“Hey, she offers!  It’s efficiency,” he defended.  His gaze fell to something behind him.  “Uh, there’s a low-ranking officer in blues trying to get our attention.”

Regis turned around to see a young woman waving desperately to get their attention, clothed in perfect dress blues, hat in place, and shoes shined to perfection.

Almost too perfect, but not uncommon with some of the lower ranks.  Wanting to make themselves seem as important as possible, which he couldn’t blame.

Still… This whole situation made him unnerved.  Regis got the attention of the host who was trying and nearly failing to hold her back.  He made a “come here” motion and the host reluctantly let her through as she stumbled forward.

Another thing bugged him.  Kaidan and Zaeed knew he was here.  How did she know he was here?  Did the press announce it that quickly?  Admiral Regis Shepard spotted at Ryuusei, more at 11?

She stopped at their table, holding a datapad, almost sounding out of breath as she introduced himself.  “Staff Analyst Maya Brooks.  Alliance Intelligence.  Com–Admiral Shepard, there are people trying to kill you.”

He’s been an Admiral since the end of the war.  Kind of annoying that some people still try to call him Commander.

He and Moreau shared a look.  Moreau spoke up.  “Uh, yeah, that’s pretty typical for Shepard.  What’s new?”

“No, like I’m aware of the remnants of Cerberus and other orgs, but ugh–” she shook her head, looking frustrated with herself.  “Someone is hacking into your accounts.  Comm channels, personal records… They’re targeting you specifically.”

Regis narrowed his eyes.  “I figured that out before you got here.  You and your department must’ve dropped the ball.  I have my own fucking security, so what the hell is going on?”

She flinched back at his hostility, but something about it looked exaggerated.  Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so harsh, but her high energy was getting on his nerves.  “We don’t have all the intel yet!  And I’m not about to guess when we don’t have all the information.”

Regis made a motion with his hand to continue.  “Well, what do you know?”

“Take a breath, Brooks,” Moreau said.  “Not like this is a life-or-death situation or anything.”

At that moment, out of the corner of his eye, he caught a lot of movement from the entrance.  With a hand on his gun, Regis watched as a whole group of armored, armed mercenaries started pouring in, pushing the host aside.

Shit.

Regis made no move just yet, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself.  He readied his Tech Armor on his omnitool, ready to flash-forge it over his body.

It’s a good thing he didn’t wear his best suit.  He had a feeling it wasn’t going to survive this trip.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!  Tonight's performance is brought to you by random acts of violence,” one of the mercs announced, presumably the captain.  At his word, his fellow mercs started shooting in the air, causing chaos and throwing up tables, causing the civilians to scatter and cower in fear.  They shot at the glass, and Regis put on his visor as he got up, shielding Moreau from the fire and using the table as a make-shift shield.  

As the visor calibrated, he noticed that the structural integrity of the building was severely compromised.  You would've thought that an expensive restaurant would spring for the best glass for their precious fish.

He was going to leave a one-star review if he gets out of this mess.  

“Spread out boys!  Find me Shepard!” the captain announced.

Regis pushed Moreau down, keeping an eye on the analyst.  He drew his gun and activated his omnitool, typing out an SOS to Zaeed and Kaidan.

Need help.  Suit up fast.  Ryuusei.

The message lagged a bit before eventually sending.  Shit, they’re jamming comms too?  He sent it just in time, but the warning signs on his visor weren’t helping with all the chaos on the tanks.

A fish restaurant is not going to kill him today.

“Stay there,” he ordered Brooks.  “Moreau?” He asked, turning to him, looking him over with a concerned eye.  “Are you okay?”

“Ow, my pancreas,” he groaned, clutching his side.  “I’m fine.  More durable than you think.”

Regis rolled his eyes, about to move forward, but a merc came forward and yanked Brooks out of her cover.  She stumbled as they dragged her across the floor.  “Goddamn it,” Regis muttered.

“Listen,” he said, getting Moreau’s attention.  “I’m going to go after her.  I’ve already sent word to Kaidan and Zaeed but rally the crew.”

“Rally the crew and your crazy husbands, got it,” he said, slowly getting up from the cover.

Regis smirked and kept an eye on Moreau, waiting for a trooper to try and get the obvious bait, holstering his Eagle.  And then, one shouted.  “Hey!”

Regis reached up and yanked the merc over his cover, flash-forging his omni-blade and sinking it in his chest with a growl.

He took the weapon off the corpse, not recognizing it as anything currently on the market, much less the Spectre market.  Lightweight, suppressed, and human made.

Interesting.

“You used me as bait!” Moreau accused.

“Yes, I did.  Now get the hell out of here!” Regis replied, twisting his fingers into a barrier, feeling the dark energy settle over him.  He forged his Tech Armor as well, trying to provide as much protection on him as possible before leaving the compromised position.

Regis peaked around the corner, aiming with the new pistol and headshotting the nearest merc, watching in satisfaction as they collapsed to the ground.  The gun barely made a sound, low enough to not be immediately detected as a gunshot.

Well, his Eagle is going to be useless.  Damn. His favorite gun is already overshadowed by some new black-market tech. 

He crept forward, gathering dark energy in one hand, twisting it into a Reave, tossing it at the nearest merc.  The merc panicked, making him a perfect target.  Pull the trigger, and then-–dead.

Regis prepped an overload on his omnitool, using his eye-tracking software to pinpoint the group of mercs near the bar, creeping towards his location.  In a flash of red, he overloaded their shields in a rain of sparks, making them vulnerable to a blast of dark energy.  He teased the energy in his palm, twisting his fingers to point forwards into a shockwave.  The energy pulsed on the ground before blowing up in their faces, knocked out by the force of the blast.

“I’m over here!” Brooks called out.  Shit.  Another merc turned towards his direction, walking away from his position at the bar.  Can she not read the fucking room?

Regis reloaded the pistol, grabbing a fresh heat sink from the ground and vaulting over the bar.  He rushed towards the merc, detonating his tech armor with a clench of his fist, causing them to stagger.  He forged another omni blade and stabbed it through the helmet, ripping it away in a spray of blood.

There definitely goes his suit.  

Brooks was lying on the glass in front of the entrance.  He ran towards her, gunning down the merc guarding the entrance.  He slid down to her.  Holding out a hand, he helped her up, her grip very tight.  “You alright?” Regis asked, brushing off his vest, stuffing the new gun in his other holster.  “Come on, we need to–”

He heard the sound of jet-propelled armor, and then a flash of red.  She pushed him out of the way, Brooks took the shot meant for him, clipping her side.

Regis gritted his teeth as he moved to get up, winded by the way he fell on his back.  The merc continued to fire around him, missing every shot, hitting the glass…

Well, shit.  His visor flashed with warnings, the glass started to creak ominously, and then–

The glass shattered.

Regis cried out, reaching deep within the gravity well to start to slow his fall, but it failed, a spike of pain coming from his neck.  He blindly reached for something, anything to grab onto.  His hand slipped on the neon sign, the panels shattering with his weight until he stopped at the very end, his hand covered in cuts and starting to sting with the saltwater raining from above.

Slowly, carefully, he raised himself up, cringing at the pain radiating up from his hands and bare arms.

How the hell is he going to get out of this?

He started to try and climb up more, but then it started to creak.  He widened his eyes as the sigh failed to support his weight, and he fell with a shout, rolling down the glass windows.

Reaching out for more purchase, his grip landed up an open window, and he was dangling once more.  No time to think, no time to do anything as he looked up and saw more glass and remnants of the sign raining down.

He took a breath and let go of the open window, sliding and rolling down the wall until he landed on a solid platform.  

Water still rained down on top of him as he slowly rose up, clutching his side and looking over his body.  His hands were shredded and covered in blood.  His arms were marred with cuts.  He was soaked and smelling like fish.

Sure, he’s been through hell many times.  But somehow the fish part made this encounter part of his worst.  

With a pained sigh, he activated his omnitool and cursed at his low level of medigel, barely enough to seal the worst of the cuts on his hand.  He applied it gently to his hands, ripping off parts of his dress pants to create a crude bandage.

It will be enough for now.

He glanced at his visor’s HUD, noticing that his amp was overloaded.  Shit.  No wonder he couldn’t levitate down.  

He’ll need a new replacement, stat.

A flick of his wrist, and his omnitool reactivated.  He searched through the comm feeds, only picking up on a local one.  All others were still blocked, no way to get a message through to any of his crew.

He reached for the suppressed pistol, looking around to try and get his bearings.  

“Admiral! I found a secure terminal.  Are you okay down there?”  Of all the people that are able to reach out to him.

“Yeah, feeling peachy.”  No, he’s not okay.  Not about to admit that to her.

He made his way through the scaffolding, jumping over to the next platform and sliding down the ladder.  “Didn’t you get hit?” He asked, making conversation.

“Yup!  I used a lot of medigel.  Too much of it, maybe.  Everything is a bit… bouncy?”  She sounded very chipper, almost manic.  

“You used too much,” he confirmed absentmindedly, jumping over to another set of platforms and sliding down another ladder, wincing at the contact with his abused hands.  “Alert C-Sec.  I’m looking for a way out.”

She didn’t immediately reply, and Regis was almost thankful for it.  His gaze landed on a skycar lot across the street, selling top of the line models.  A skycar took off from the landing pad.  “I see a lot and a landing pad.  Cision Motors.”

“Yeah, I see it!” 

“Good.  Get a shuttle there ASAP,” he ordered as he made his way down, finding himself in front of a freezer storage of some sort.

“So, um, it turns out that C-Sec has the whole area locked down.  It’s going to be tricky to get a shuttle down there.”

Great.  Regis made his way through the freezer, rubbing his arms at the sudden chill.  “Well, keep at it and find a fucking solution!”  He glanced back down at his omnitool, seeing two comm requests pop up.  He read through their signatures and pushed them through, recognizing his husbands’ sigs from a mile away.

Finally.  Some real help.  

“Oh, and you should stay off your comm.  Except for me!  Because it’s hacked.  And that’s how they found you.”  Ain’t that convenient.  He ignored her, climbing up the ladder and nodding at the salarian taking a smoke break, who barely spared him a glance.  

“Do you even know who these mercs are?” He asked, hoping she had something to give him.

“No.  They really don’t seem to like you!”

“That’s real helpful, Brooks.  Thanks for that very astute observation,” Regis growled out, crouching down at the top of the building.  

Why is it taking so damn long for their comms to get through?  He glanced back down at his omnitool and pushed them through again, changing the security on the fly so they could patch into Brooks’ comm instead of his own.

If she complains about it, he’s muting her.

He leapt from building to building until he stopped at one at the edge of the market, seeing a group of the same mercs patrolling around.  Shit.

Without his biotics, this wasn’t going to be fun.  His visor helpfully outputted that the temp of his amp had gone down, but diagnostics were still too volatile for him to risk it.

“Regis!  Can you hear me?” Kaidan’s voice appeared, and Regis relaxed minutely.  

“Yes, love.  Loud and clear.  Zaeed got routed in, too?” Regis replied with a relieved smile, still perched on the top of the building, scanning the area before dropping down quietly, crouching down behind a random stall.

“Of course.  We’re on foot, but close.  Goddamn, can we ever have a peaceful leave?” Zaeed said. 

Regis was looking forward to them peeling his suit off of him.  Now all he wanted to do is soak in that hot tub and never come out.  

“Joker let us know what happened.  Did you really use him as bait?” Kaidan chuckled.

“Excuse me, who is this?  You’re on an unsecured channel, and you are putting Admiral Shepard in danger!” Brooks yelled out.  Regis shook his head and shot at the nearest merc, watching him collapse to the ground in a satisfying crumble.

“And who the hell are you?” Zaeed cut in.  “Not like we have a lot of options here.”

Regis ignored the conversation as he summoned a drone, directing it to distract the mercs heading towards the body.  

As they focused on the drone, he detonated it, overloading their shields and making them vulnerable to a few well-placed shots. Well, if they aren’t going to introduce themselves, he might as well do it.  Not like he’s fighting for his life here or anything.  

“Zaeed, Kaidan, this is Staff Analyst Brooks.  Brooks, these are my husbands, Zaeed and Kaidan.  Not the type to be putting me in danger,” Regis explained as he crept through the alleyway, keeping an eye on any other mercs.  “Play nice, because I’m in the middle of something here.”

“As if you ever play nice,” Kaidan said with a barely disguised snort.  “Can you send me your diag?”

Regis sent the outputs through the comm, hoping there was enough bandwidth to handle the data transfer.  Luckily, it went through, and Regis rolled over to the nearest stand, aiming for the next group of mercs with another primed and ready overload.

“We’ll make sure to call Vik so they can get you checked out.” Regis could hear his wince across the comm.  Yeah, he knew they weren’t great, but Kaidan was the most knowledgeable about bio-feeds.

The fact that he’s favoring Vik over Chakwas is signal enough that his amp problem is something serious.  Great.  Just like he thought but hoped he interpreted incorrectly.

He fired off the overload, taking down the second group with precision, disposing of the smoking heat sink and scooping up another off of the corpses.  

“Just my amp.  Can easily be replaced.  I’ll be fine,” Regis said, checking his program cooldowns before switching over to the cryo freeze, firing it off at a sniper who was getting set up at the back counter.  

He took a deep breath and continued forward, starting to feel weary.  His hands and arms ached, and he was sure he was going to be a massive bruise by tomorrow.  

Keep pressing forward, Regis.  It’s this or death.

At the end of the street was a locked door.  He glanced at the security and pushed through his Spectre credentials, the door opening and confirming his status.  

“I’m almost at the lot.  Just have a few more mercs I need to fight through,” Regis said, crouching behind an elegant potted plant.  “Unless any of you are close enough to go ahead and save my ass?”

“Almost there!” Kaidan said.  “Hold out a bit longer.”

“You say that like it’s easy,” he muttered, temporarily muting himself.  He unmuted, “Glad to hear!”

He summoned his drone again and drew some of the mercs towards him.  His hands started to shake as he raised up the pistol.  Shit.  He needs to get out of here, fast.

His first shot went wide, but the next hit home, taking down one of the mercs as the other shot at his drone.  

He ordered the drone to shock the merc in a blast of sparks, finishing them off with another bullet.  Only a few more to go.

He glanced at his diags again, seeing the output of his amp improving.  Normally, he wouldn’t do this, but this is not a normal situation.  He flicked his fingers into a singularity, feeling his corona roar to life before tossing it at the group of mercs waiting at the entrance to the skycar lot.

“Admiral!  There’s a C-Sec shuttle inbound if you can get to the car lot,” Brooks announced.

“Got it,” Regis said, trying to keep his voice steady.

He’s going to pay for that later with one hell of a migraine.

Worth it to stay alive.  

He grabbed some more clips and holstered the suppressed pistol, noticing a M-11 on the side.  He traded it out for his Eagle, not caring for stealth at the moment, although he noticed that the gun pierced through armor like no other, almost like a mini Widow.  

As he walked into the lot, he saw Kaidan holding a group of mercs in the air with his biotics, his corona burning blue.  Zaeed had his Widow out, sniping the heads of the mercs before Kaidan threw them against the wall in a blast of dark energy. 

Regis holstered his gun as Kaidan walked towards him, his corona slowly dissipating.  To his immense pleasure both Zaeed and Kaidan opted to wear their matching long coats and infiltration style gear, Kaidan’s blue duster marked with the Spectre logo.

Kaidan’s expression morphed into one of concern as he got a better look at him, gaze falling on his hands.  “What happened?”

“Fell through a fucking fish tank,” he replied, opening his arms for a hug.  Kaidan hugged him back, and Regis let Kaidan support him as Zaeed prepped some medigel.

“And your amp?” Zaeed asked after they broke apart, clasping Regis on the shoulder.  “I still want to take that suit off of you.”  Kaidan rolled his eyes, shaking his head at his husband.

“Me too, so we can burn it later.” Regis sat down on the curb, taking a breath.  “My amp needs to be replaced.  It’s better than what it was, but I don’t trust it right now.”

“We’ll be calling Vik the moment we get back to the apartment,” Kaidan said with a nod, sitting down beside him.  “Now be honest.  Scale of one to ten.”

Regis closed his eyes.  “Five, maybe six?  That fall fucked me up.  Only came out of it unscathed as it did probably due to Cerberus’s enhancements.”

Zaeed activated his Kuwashii visor and performed a scan of his own, kneeling down, starting to administer some medigel to the more superficial wounds.  “Don’t see anything too abnormal, but I’m no medic.  Your goddamn amp is still going crazy.”

“I may have used some biotics even after it threw a warning,” Regis admitted.

Kaidan gave him a hard look, but it was softened by the concern still written on his face.  “Don’t use any more until we can get you checked out.  Are your programs still running at optimal levels?”

Regis gave him a hard look of his own.  “You know who you’re talking to, right?” He stood up and forged his tech armor.  “No issues at all.”

“Then stick to them,” Kaidan said with a pointed look, checking over his N7 Valkyrie.  

Zaeed stepped in between them.  “Love the foreplay.  Let’s get out of here?  Landing pad is beyond a locked gate, maybe we should find a way to open it so we can get on with it?”

“Oh, I’m sure you want us to get on with it,” Kaidan muttered.

Regis rolled his eyes and stalked over to the set of offices where there was likely some sort of master lock to unlock the gates.  They followed him as he activated his omnitool, priming it to overload the door.  “Stand back.”

Kaidan slowly lowered his raised arm.  “Just a minute, love.” He moved to knock on the window, and Regis noticed a volus sitting underneath the window.  Ah.

“Would’ve been faster if you let him destroy the damn lock,” Zaeed said, gesturing with the Widow.  “Hell, I could’ve blasted it off for you.”

Kaidan ignored them both.  “Could you unlock the gate?”

With a mechanical sound, the gates lowered into the floor.  “Thanks.” Kaidan said, walking past both of them with a smirk on his face.

“Well, I could’ve done that ,” Regis muttered, following close behind him.  

“Boring.  We could've been out of here by now if you hadn’t played nice,” Zaeed said, clapping him on the back.  

“Isn’t that what you love about me?” Kaidan shot back, walking backwards towards the landing pad.  “We need someone in this relationship who doesn’t immediately resort to violence.”

“There’s a key word in that sentence, love,” Regis teased.  “‘Immediately.’”  

As they made it to the landing pad, they saw a C-Sec shuttle flying towards them.  Regis lowered his gun, raising up an arm to shield his face as the shuttle started to lower.  The shuttle door opened, and he caught the flash of a turret.  Shit.  Nothing is ever easy.

“Get down!” Kaidan ordered, summoning up a biotic bubble as the mercs opened fire, bullets stopping in the wake of the dark energy surrounding them.  Zaeed pushed them both behind the lot’s sign, throwing off a bundle of Inferno grenades to cover them before ducking into the bubble.

Kaidan let the bubble go, conserving his energy.  They all shared a look, looking at each other first before glancing back at the shuttle, looking for a way out.

And then, the sound of glass shattering and the distinct sound of a krogan war cry came out of nowhere.  Regis glanced at his diags to make sure he hadn’t fallen into shock.

“Is that–fucking hell…” Zaeed said in growing awe as the sound of an engine blowing up filled the air.  “Good goddamn timing.”

The shuttle crashed to the ground and Regis risked a glance around the sign, seeing Wrex pummeling the mercs without breaking a sweat, headbutting and pushing them around before tossing one unlucky bastard out the back door.

“Just to make it clear, Wrex was not one of the people we informed,” Kaidan said, walking out of cover.

Wrex walked towards them calmly after kicking another merc out of the shuttle.  “Maybe you should’ve, Alenko.  Almost missed all the fun!”

Wrex pulled a minigun from a corpse and tossed it to Regis, who caught it with a grin.  “Glad to have you here.  So, what exactly are you doing here anyway?” Regis asked.  

“Butting heads with the Council over krogan expansion,” he said.  “Shepard, you should take up the human council position!  We’ll have someone who could have our backs.”

Regis shuddered at the thought.  “Respectfully Wrex, that’s going to be a hell-fucking-no.”

“Ah, what a shame.  I get it though.” Wrex nodded at Zaeed who did the same in response.  

Regis looked over the minigun as an explosion rocked the area, coming from inside the building.  He sighed, shaking his head.  “Wrex, you with me?”

“Always, my friend.  Now, stay back.  You’re too squishy in that outfit of yours,” Wrex said, priming his shotgun.

Mercs poured in from the ceiling, jumping down and ready for a fight.  Two biotics–well, technically one at the moment–one krogan, and one pissed-off merc versus a whole company of mercs.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Regis dashed over to the nearest cover, which was yet another sign advertising the business.

“So, we got a way out of here?” Wrex asked as he lifted a whole group of mecs for Zaeed to snipe.

“Of course we do.  We’re goddamn professionals,” Zaeed replied, picking them off one by one. 

“That’s not a yes, love!” Kaidan called out, throwing out a quick overload to take down an engineer about to set up a turret.  Regis sent out his drone to assist, despite being low on resources.  He tested the gun and took down a group of mercs advancing towards him, mowing them down without much effort.

He’s still going to mostly sit this one out.  He’s not an idiot.

“Admiral!” Moreau’s voice filled the comm.  “We’re on our way.  I picked up Brooks.  Figured you have a few questions.”

Sure, but not right at this minute.  “Maybe later.  By the way, that shuttle you sent?  The C-Sec shuttle wasn’t C-Sec, it was filled with a bunch of mercs.  So please, hurry up,” Regis replied, taking out a few enemy drones heading towards him with precision.  

“What?!” Brooks asked with an exaggerated inquiring tone.  

“You heard me,” Regis growled out, taking a breath as he replenished his tech armor.  

“Right, sorry.  We’ll be there soon!”

Regis started to feel a little bad for being so hostile, but something about her was rubbing him the wrong way.  No one can be that damn chipper.

“Great place to fight in.  Lots to destroy!” Wrex announced and the tell-tale sound of glass shattering filled the air.  Zaeed shouted with glee as he fired off something explosive.  Kaidan started to fall back, heading to Regis’s position.

Regis shook his head but was grinning all the same.  Yeah, he missed this kind of action, not getting up to much of it post-war, clearing out Cerberus stations and herding survivors, working to scout the galaxy and continue looking for more history.

“Approaching your position, Admiral.  Just following the gunfire,” Moreau chuckled.  “Sorry it’s taking a while.  Had to take the scenic route.”

“Copy that,” Regis acknowledged.  He prepped another overload as a sniper tried to sneak up on him, their cloak revealed by his visor.  No match for his technology.  He fired it off, paying little mind to the arguing going on the comm.  Brooks started yelling at Moreau for nearly crashing multiple times.

If it gets them here faster, Regis didn’t care how they did it.

“Hey, Shepard, get to the shuttle!” Moreau announced as the sounds of whirring engines grew louder and louder.  

Kaidan yelled.  “Fall back!” Starting to provide cover fire, he extended his barrier so that it would also envelop Regis, the blue dark energy surrounding him in a protective field.  

Moreau maneuvered the shuttle so it was hovering just above the ground.  Wrex charged towards the shuttle, throwing a set of Warp grenades behind him that exploded in a flurry of blue and red before jumping aboard.  Zaeed was close behind, jumping on and holding out an arm.  Regis grabbed onto him, and Zaeed pulled him close, holding onto Regis tightly as he stumbled forward.

Kaidan jumped aboard once everyone was secure and Moreau shut the shuttle door, halting the path of gunfire.

He took off in a burst of speed that was definitely illegal for this sector of the Citadel, the sounds of gunfire slowly quietening down.  

Regis clung to Zaeed as they headed back to safety in silence, Kaidan watching them with a concerned eye.  Even Wrex looked worried, leaning against the back wall of the shuttle.

“Vik’s meeting us at the apartment,” Kaidan said, breaking the silence. “Finally got the comms through.”

“Thanks.  Adrian coming too?” Regis asked, trying to keep the exhaustion from creeping into his tone.

“Nah, just them.  Figured you wanted a quiet apartment when we get home,” Kaidan replied.

Regis nodded in response, Zaeed rubbing circles into his back.  “We’ll be home soon, babe.  Ready to jump in that tub?  You smell like shit.”

Regis couldn’t help but laugh.  “I’m well aware.”

Before they entered the apartment, Wrex asked, “Someone want to tell me what’s going on here?”

Kaidan stepped between him and Regis.  “After we get cleaned up.”

“But it’s important we stop the threat now!” Brooks said, moving past to try and get into the apartment.

“And it can wait until I get my damn amp replaced,” Regis said, blocking her from moving any further.  “Get the rest of the crew up to speed.  A few hours isn’t going to make any difference.”

“Come on, Brooks,” Moreau said, motioning for her to follow, meeting his gaze with a nod.  “We’ll meet with the crew down on the strip.”

Wrex stayed behind as Moreau more or less started dragging Brooks with him.  The moment they stepped into the elevator, Wrex motioned at the door.  “Want me to keep an eye on your place as you take a breather?”

“That would be great,” Regis said, relieved.  “I’m expecting Vik, remember them?”

“Sure do.  I’ll make sure that only they get in for you.”

“Much appreciated, Wrex,” Zaeed said, shaking his hand.  

“Anything for you. Try not to get too distracted with each other,” he laughed.

Kaidan rolled his eyes as he unlocked the door.  “I make no promises to that.”

His laughter filled the air as they walked into the apartment, only quietening down after the door was closed.

Safe in the apartment, Regis started to pull off his ruined suit, tossing both his Eagle and the mystery M-11 on the coffee table.  Kaidan moved in to help him, batting his hands away as he unbuttoned the silk shirt, gently pulling it off of him to not disturb the healing skin.  Some bruises had already started to form, coloring his chest in a mass of purple.  Regis winced as Kaidan ran a gentle hand down his chest, feeling for any abnormalities.  “Let’s take the rest of this upstairs.”

Regis looked over at the stairway with hesitation.  “Is it too much to ask for one of you to carry me?”

“‘Course not,” Zaeed said.  “But before I pick you up, don’t play the strong Admiral.  How are you really feeling right now?”

“Terrible,” Regis said with a sigh, sitting down on the couch despite his ruined pants.  He kicked off his boots.  “Neither one of you want to know how close I was to falling to my damn death back there.”

“Joker let us know.  He caught a glimpse of the hole,” Kaidan said quietly, pressing a gentle kiss on the pulse point of his neck.  “But you’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

“I felt so helpless,” he admitted, looking down at his knees.  “When my amp failed, I thought that this was it, no way out.  Too damn lucky that I caught my hand on a sign and then on an open window after the sign broke.” He shook his head.  “If any of the crew even thinks about joking about what happened…” he trailed off with a yawn, his unspoken threat losing steam.  “You get the idea.”

“Most of the crew has a good head on their shoulders.  Doubt they’ll risk your ire,” Zaeed said, taking off his gloves and tossing them on the couch, shrugging off his duster.  “Ready?”

Regis nodded and allowed himself to be picked up into a bridal carry, cradled close to Zaeed’s chest as they walked upstairs.  He could’ve made the trip, honestly.

But he wanted to be taken care of, and he was glad they picked up on that.  He hadn’t felt so vulnerable in a long time, and he hated that he was put into that position.

Especially in front of an officer he knows nothing about.

Zaeed put him down in front of the bathroom and Regis pressed a kiss on the corner of his lip before stripping down, throwing the ruined and torn pants into a corner of the room.  Kaidan had followed them inside their bedroom, stopping in the doorway.  “I’m going to wait for Vik downstairs and start looking into this mess in the Spectre channels.  Need me for anything?” Kaidan asked.

“I think we have it handled, babe,” Zaeed replied.  “But don’t get too deep into it right now.”

Kaidan smiled.  “I make no promises, love.  Now relax and get better, Regis.  Take all the time you need.”

“Don’t worry, I definitely will,” Regis said, pulling off his underwear and slipping inside the hottub with a groan.  He felt both their gazes on him as he sunk into the water, dunking his head to get his hair wet and to start to scrub out the grime from the day.

“If you’re going to look at me, join me,” he said, pointing at them both.

Kaidan chuckled once Zaeed started to strip the rest of his leathers down, pulling off the reinforced fibers with quick precision.  Regis watched as Kaidan leaned in to kiss Zaeed on the lips, cupping his head and pulling him close, pulling away just before it got heated.  Zaeed almost seemed to chase after Kaidan, wanting more as he walked away from the bedroom.

Regis thought they all needed some quiet reassurance.  

Zaeed tugged off his underwear and joined him in the tub. Regis raised up and Zaeed settled behind him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in close against his soft chest.  He sighed, closing his eyes and relaxing into the embrace.

Zaeed grabbed Regis’s favorite shampoo and started to lather it into his hair, massaging Regis’s scalp with expert hands.  He allowed himself to be pampered, to be taken care of.  

A ritual they do if a mission almost went south.  When they knew it was life or death. 

They knew the score.  So called “old” soldiers and mercs have been at it for too long and yet none of them want to leave.  

Moments like this, however, reminded them what danger still lurked, how easy one of them could be taken away.

When Zaeed was done with his hair, Regis took a second to wash out the suds.  About to grab the bottle to do the same for him, Zaeed batted his hand away, pushed the shampoo further away from him, and instead reached for the citrus scented conditioner.  “You can take care of me later.”

Regis only hummed in response, relaxing even more as he started to work the conditioner into his hair, expertly applying it to his curls and combing out tangles with his fingers, making perfect little coils as he went along.  

Maybe he’ll keep his eyes closed.  Yeah, that felt nice.  The sensation of being taken care of along with the repetitive sounds of the jets in the tub lulled him to sleep, allowing himself to relax fully knowing he was safe in the arms of a man he loved.

“Regis?” 

His eyes popped open and he realized he wasn’t in the tub anymore as he raised up quickly, finding himself clothed in loose joggers and resting on their bed with a knitted blanket wrapped around him.

Was he really asleep for that long?

He rubbed at his eyes and noticed that the cuts on his body were nearly healed by the medigel, but the remnants of the heavy bruising still remained.  It’s going to take a couple of applications to get rid of that, and Regis preferred healing things like that naturally, not liking the feeling of medigel unless it was necessary.

Kaidan had changed into a blue sweater and jeans, sleeves rolled up.  “You fell asleep on Zaeed.  He cleaned you up and got you tucked in.  Only been about thirty, forty-five minutes.”

Looking around the room, he saw no sign of Zaeed.  “Took care of me and bailed?” he chuckled.  

“He’s out there with Vik and Ash.  She wasn’t about to let Wrex stop her from checking up on you,” he explained.  

Ah, Ash is here too?  Great.  He wanted to hear her thoughts on this mess before his apartment becomes home base for whatever the hell is going on.  

“Good. Go ahead and send them up for me.  And can you hand me one of my sweaters?” He asked.

“Of course, love.  One of your off the shoulder ones?” He replied, opening one of the drawers after typing a quick message on his omnitool. 

“Yeah.  Vik needs easy access to my port.  Are you going to get yours checked out while they’re here?” Regis asked after Kaidan handed him the sweater.

“Nah, they already ran some basic diags.  All my outputs are good, so they’re not worried.  We use different amps anyway.”

“Knew I shouldn’t have tried that fucking Savant.  Work well but get pissy if you mod them,” Regis muttered as he pulled on the black, loose sweater.  

“You modded a Savant?” Kaidan shook his head.  “I doubt the Serrice Council will take kindly to that.  Reason number one why I don’t use their stuff.  Too damn regulated.”

“Hey, they have great outputs that are even better if you overclock them,” Regis defended.  It’s not that he liked the Savants, but rather he enjoyed beating them down into submission. 

“And that’s why I stick to HMBA.  Modifiable, open source to Spectres, and I’m not breaking any terms of service in the process,” Kaidan said with a pointed look.

“Regis, my darling, you know how much I hate the Savant line,” Vik said as they entered the room, carrying a case full of their supplies.  “If you’re going to go crazy, use one of my Armali mods if you must.”

“Armali has shitty power output,” Regis said, crossing his arms. 

“Which is why I modded them,” they repeated.  “I even have a license in order to do so.”

“Don’t argue with the doc, Regis,” Ashley said, leaning against the doorway.  “We need to get you back out there so we can deal with the bastards who decided to target you.”

Regis rolled his eyes.  “Good to see you too, Ash.  Keeping my crew in check?”

“Only had to shut down a few who thought it was unfortunate you destroyed their favorite restaurant.”

“Thanks,” he nodded.  

“No problem,” she waved it off.  “Zaeed’s currently deciding if he wants to go down there and give the crew a piece of his mind or continue his debate with Wrex.”

“Do I even want to know what they’re arguing about?” Regis asked, watching Vik place their case on his weapon bench and take out some supplies.  

“Last I heard they were bitching about shotgun mods,” Kaidan said, crossing his arms.  

“It’s gotten worse.  Inferno versus Warp grenades,” Ashley said, almost sounding grim.

“Inferno grenades are superior.  If you’re going to Warp someone, do it right from the get-go.  No external hardware required,” Vik said, walking back over to the bed, omnitool active and diagnostic tools in hand.  “Sit up straight for me.”

Regis did as they said and closed his eyes as Vik felt for the synth-skin covering his wetware, housed just underneath his Torfan tattoo–the black skull that used to represent his squad.  “Ah, there we go.  Dare I say that Cerberus improved on interfacing?” They commented, raising up their omnitool and inputting a code.  

Regis felt a twinge as his cybernetics adapted to the code, pulling the skin away to reveal the port underneath.  “Which is why I’m working with Miranda to adapt this technology on a consumer level.”

“And you two are doing impressive work.  Cannot wait to see it leave the trials.  You are going to revolutionize biotic interfacing and so much more,” Vik said.  “Kaidan, how is it working on you?”

He rubbed his neck.  “Feels weird having easy access to my ports again, but I knew what I signed up for when I kept mine underneath the skin for better protection.  Never liked the idea of exposed ports.”

Vik hummed as they scanned the port for any abnormalities.  “I don’t see anything concerning.  Just a temperature spike that caused the amp to shut down before rebooting.  What were you doing when it shorted?”

“Trying to levitate down when I fell from that fucking fish tank,” Regis said, keeping his head still.  

“Ah.  Well, it’s going to happen again if you do anything intensive like that, I’m afraid.  Were you able to do feats like that previously with no issues?”

“Been a while since I’ve had to do a maneuver like that, so honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever tested that specific mnemonic with it.  Handled everything else I threw at it,” Regis admitted.

“Say it with me–” Vik started to say, but Regis interrupted him.

“Yes, yes, I know, test all maneuvers with any new amp and any new mods,” Regis sighed.  “Been a little slow lately, so I never got around to testing everything.”

“Regis…” Kaidan started, getting that tone of voice that meant Kaidan was more than a little annoyed with him. 

“Yeah, I know,” he repeated, closing his eyes.  “I won’t do any more experimenting with my amps without testing everything I do.  Happy?”

“Only once I see it in practice,” Kaidan said, his voice taking on a lower tone.  

“Ah great, you two are flirting,” Ashley said, exasperated.  “Keep that up and I’m leaving.  Don’t need to hear how you solve problems.”

Kaidan chuckled.  “Sometimes he makes it so easy.”

“He is right here,” Regis muttered.  “Vik, can you remove it already?”

“Of course.  What do you want me to replace it with?” they replied, professional as ever.  

“How are your Armali mods?  I like the blending they provide, but again, I miss the better power output in return.”

Vik grabbed the sealed container housing the chip.  “Very comparable to an overclocked HMBA.  You’ll still find that HMBA has better power outputs, but you lose out on the blending you prefer to do.  HMBA is perfect for more controlled powers versus on the fly.  Armali will allow you to stick to your style without sacrificing too much.  If you hate it we can swap it out for something else.  I probably won’t be offended.”

Regis mulled it over in his head.  HMBA isn’t a bad amp per se, but he wasn’t too fond of its rigidity.  Which suited Kaidan just fine, as he tended to stick to one mnemonic at a time, giving time to cool down and settle his field in between.  

Regis was a speedcaster, switching and twisting mnemonics together to create reactions and unpredictable attacks only his lovers and most trusted companions know how to read.  Sure, he could stick to rigidity if needed.  But after Cerberus, he almost seemed to do far better with on-the-fly adjustments than ever before.

He blames it on the constant feeling of survival he felt while trapped in their claws, his biotics never quite the same since his resurrection. Kaidan always reassured that his field felt the same, when their coronas would intersect and twine with each other on the battlefield and in the bedroom.

But he could never shake the feeling that his biotics turned into their own beast after Lazarus.  

“Let’s try it.  If not, I’ll follow Kaidan’s route and trick out a HMBA,” Regis said.  He caught Kaidan’s gaze, and he looked so smug.  Bastard.  He’ll wipe that smirk off his face once he gets his amp back in order and kicks everyone out of his apartment…

“Great.  Now, take a deep breath for me,” Vik said, reaching in to disconnect the amp.  Regis breathed in slowly, waiting to feel the detachment.

He shuddered as Vik pulled out the amp, feeling like he was dunked in cold water, his veins turning to ice.  The corona pulsed around him once before winking out in a flash.  “Fuck,” he muttered, taking slow, deep breaths, his heart racing.  

“That’s what happens when you swap out an amp?” Ashley asked.  “Damn… how does it feel?”

“Getting dunked in cold water,” Kaidan said, face pinched in discomfort.  “Feeling sluggish even though your movements are clear.  Feeling like your sensations are both heightened and diminished.”

“Exactly,” Regis said.  “Feels different for every biotic, but most L2s tend to get the same effects.  More intense.”

“Afraid it's not much different for us,” Vik said, dropping the amp into a separate container. “Technically I’ll need to report this to Serrice, but they also won’t take kindly to someone interfering with their settings.  Even if you’re a Spectre.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Ashley asked.  “Come on, we can bend the rules.”

“And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  I’ll wipe the logs with my software, fudge the numbers, and they won’t look at it any more than usual because they’re getting it from me,” Vik explained.  “Anything for you, Reggie.”

And there’s Vik’s way of showing that they’re doing him a massive favor.  Goddammit.  

“Wait, Reggie ?” Ashley repeated, her face breaking out into a grin.  “How have I not heard that before?”

If his amp port wasn’t open, he would’ve started strangling Vik already.

“Oops,” Vik said, not sounding sorry at all.  “Anyway, ready for the insert?”

“Do it,” Regis said with gritted teeth.  “So, I can strangle you faster.”

“Hmm, maybe I have more diagnostics to do.  Read some more logs.  Get a good picture of your outputs…” Vik chuckled and turned to Ashley.  "Childhood nickname that he secretly loves.  Don’t deny it!”

“Does that mean you have childhood pictures too?  Please, I need to see them,” Ashley said.  “He must’ve been so cute!”

“I was fucking adorable,” Regis said, interrupting their conversation.  “You can see all the baby pictures you want after you reseat my amp.”  Ashley gave him a cheeky thumbs-up, looking expectantly at Kaidan, who held up his omnitool to prepare a data transfer.  Traitor.  

“Breath in deep for me, darling,” Vik said, taking the new amp out of its case.  

Regis breathed in while they inserted the amp, his corona igniting in a bright violet in response.  He exhaled as he let his corona surround him, keeping a handle on biotics from flaring out, adjusting to the difference in outputs on the fly.  As a test, he pulled the scope sitting on his bench towards him.  It flew towards him quickly, landing in his hand without a hitch.  “Much better,” Regis sighed, crossing his legs into his meditative position, allowing himself to slowly levitate with a push off the bed before settling down.  

“Beautiful,” Vik observed.  “I think you’ll find that my amp will rank among the best.”  They finished up by scanning it once more and resealing the synth-skin with another code.  Regis rubbed at the now-sealed skin once finished, itching slightly after it meshed back together. 

“I don’t even know if I can test it fully with all this shit going on,” Regis said, retracting his field.  Kaidan’s biotics had reacted in kind, a subtle blue field around his eyes glowed while the rest of his corona was carefully hidden.  

“Armax is just down the street,” Ashley said.  “Surely we can get a few matches in.”

“Depending on what we find out,” Kaidan said, crossing his arms.  “None of the Spectre channels had anything that stood out, and I couldn’t get Hackett on the comm.  I could contact Hannah, but I figured you wanted to keep this on the downlow.” 

“Fair enough.  She’ll be worried, and I don’t want to deal with that right now.” Regis looked down at his loungewear.  “If I’m going to talk with the crew, I’m getting changed into something different.”

“You and your appearances,” Vik muttered, packing up their stuff.  “Need me to hang out while you debrief?” “If you want,” Regis said.  

VIk shrugged.  “Might need someone to patch all of you up.  Karin is at some sort of conference right now, right?”

Ashley nodded.  “Yeah, she’s sorry she can’t make it.  And both Kaidan and I told her to stay put.”

“Then I’ll hang around.  Ash, let’s sort through some pictures,” Vik said, offering a hand.  Ashley took it with a grin, leaving Kaidan and Regis in their bedroom.  He tugged off his sweater, looking through the closet until he found another one of his black button downs and slacks, pulling them on before grabbing a pair of socks.  

“Feel better?” Kaidan teased, eyeing him up and down before grabbing both his hands.  He leaned in for a kiss, and Regis returned it, soft and full of yearning.  Hesitant to break apart, they both kept chasing each other.  Regis removed his hands from his and pulled Kaidan in closer, cupping his neck and tangling a hand in his hair, breathing in his scent and his love.  They finally broke apart after Kaidan started to kiss down his neck, peppering light kisses on Regis’s tattoo, stopping at the skin showing at the unbuttoned collar.  “You smell better, too.”

“And here I thought you had more tact than Zaeed,” Regis rolled his eyes.  “We better head down before they all assume we’re doing something else.”

“Probably too late for that,” he chuckled, reaching for Regis’s hand again.  “Come on.”

They walked downstairs, hand-in-hand.  Zaeed whistled at them, changed into a short sleeve white button down and jeans.  “Beginning to think I needed to break you two up.”

“Or join them,” Ashley piped up, sitting on the couch next to Vik.  

“Says you,” Regis said, directed at Zaeed, the two of them joining him by the fireplace.  “Shall I tell the gang what you wanted to do to me earlier?”

“Might need to be more specific.  I probably said a lot of things,” he laughed.  

Regis shook his head as Wrex walked over to the door, letting Moreau and Brooks in.  “Finally!” Brooks exclaimed.  “You know, I can’t believe you survived all that.  They had guns!  And grenades!  And those drone things!”

“As did Cerberus and nearly every other organization I’ve had to fight against,” Regis said, opening his omnitool.  “Has anyone contacted C-Sec?  Need to get Bailey read in on this.”

“Okay, that sounds… Wait!  Wouldn’t that make whoever you contact a target too?” Brooks interjected, resting her chin on her hand.

Regis narrowed his eyes.  “It’s C-Sec.  You know, the security force onboard this station?”

“Honestly Shepard, she has a point,” Moreau said.  “Do we even need to take that risk?”

Regis sighed and shut off his omnitool.  “Fair enough. Guess we run this ourselves like everything else.”

“Wow, you agreed with me?  Can you say it again?” Moreau asked eagerly, a grin on his face. 

Regis gave him an annoyed look, about to tell him to bring up the rest of the crew when Brooks rambled, “Right.  Ourselves.  On our own.  Outside the law.  Okay, yeah.”

Even Kaidan started to look frustrated, a pinched expression on his face, his eyebrows slightly furrowed together.  “Brooks, you need to focus,” Kaidan said.  “You have a team of Alliance soldiers, Spectres, and top operatives from different species.  If you can’t handle this, I suggest you sit this out and let us handle it.”

“I can’t sit this out!” She replied, balling her hands in fists.

“Fine,” Regis said, staring her down.  “But this is my operation, and you will work under my orders.  If I find that you are a liability to us and the mission, I will contact whoever I deem necessary to deal with the situation and damn the consequences.  Clear?”

“Crystal,” she said with a nod, her voice surprisingly steady.  

He can’t get a read on her.  Maybe she’s too green, trying to over and undercompensate.  It’s been a while since Regis has dealt with anyone in Intelligence that wasn’t a high rank, and a lot of people did join up after the war.  

Perhaps he should withhold his judgment of her for now, skewed by his frustration at the whole situation.

“How did you even get involved in this mess?” Ashley asked.  

She straightened up.  “I monitor data for Alliance Intel to prevent fraud and hacking of officer IDs.  Like someone using an admiral’s pass to get into a nightclub on the Citadel when that admiral is currently stationed on Pinnacle.  I wrote a tracking program.  It’s really neat!   I named it ‘Mr. Biscuits’ after my cat.”

“Brooks,” Ashley said, getting her attention.

“Right!  Sorry… Anyway, my program detected a breach in your classified files.  Soon, everything we had on you was compromised: personnel files, mission reports, everything.”

Regis swore, shaking his head.  “So, what you’re telling me is that they now have access to my military codes?  My Spectre codes?  Explains why they wanted to kill me.”

“Nothing to stop them until the damage is done,” Wrex said with a nod.  

Regis looked at his crew, his gaze lingering on Kaidan and Zaeed.  “Then we need to figure out who they are and shut them down.  Ideas?”

“What about that pistol you picked up?  A goddamn work of art,” Zaeed said, motioning to the M-11 still sitting on the table.  

“Damn thing is so tiny I thought I was going to fucking break it,” Regis said, picking it up.  “Packs a punch like a mini-Widow.”

The door chimed and Kaidan moved to check on whoever was at the door.  A moment later he opened it to reveal Wren with her omnitool out.  

“Hey Wren!” Ash waved.  “Glad you could join us.”

“Of course!  Been doing some research on my own.  Glyph can hopefully give us some insight on that cute little pistol you have,” she replied, summoning up the drone.

“Did you ever get all the bugs fixed?” Regis chuckled.  “Stubborn little guy.”

“Not really…” she trailed off, staring at the cyan drone.  “It still bugs out some, but it is less bound to misinterpret orders.  85 percent of the time.  Anyway, Glyph, start looking into this M-11.”

“I’ll begin collating relevant intel for review, Major Clarkson,” Glyph said, discs spinning. 

“Well, I’m glad to see you in one piece.  Hell of a fall back there,” she said, holding out her hand.  

He shook it with a firm grip.  “I’m alright.  Still healing up, but I’m ready to deal with whatever happens next.”

“Good to hear.  You know, you did the galaxy a favor getting rid of that place.  Overpriced, overrated, and some of the blandest food I’ve ever had,” she said, shaking her head.  “Saved me the trip of having to take it down myself, if you know what I mean.”

She turned to Brooks.  “Come with me.  Catch me up on what we know.”  Brooks nodded and followed her to the dining table in the back of the kitchen.  

“Well, Wren’s on point,” Wrex said.  “So, where’s the rest of your crew?”

Moreau held up his omnitool.  “Getting that covered right… now.”

The door chimed.  Regis waved his omnitool to unlock it remotely.  

“Had to gather some people who actually like getting shot at, you know,” he said as EDI walked in, flanked by Tali, Cortez, and Javik.  

“Permission to come aboard, Admiral?” Tali asked cheekily.

Regis grinned.  “I don’t know.  This is my quiet place after all.”

“Good to see you doing okay.  Wasn’t sure how to react after I heard what happened,” she replied, hugging him from the side, her knitted poncho swaying with the gesture.  “Say, how did you get roped up into going to a sushi restaurant?”

“Thought Moreau was pulling a fast one on me and wanted to put him in his place,” he replied, glancing over at Moreau who ignored him in favor of talking with EDI by the bar.  “Turns out it was an assassination attempt.”

“It’s never a dull day, is it?” She laughed.  “Ah well.  I got a little bit of relaxation in, and that’s all that matters.”

Kaidan and Zaeed rejoined him by his side after catching up with some of the crew.  He turned to face both of them, lit by the fireplace.  “You know, it was nice to see you two in action at the car lot.  It was pretty hot.”

Both Ashley and Tali groaned.  “Really, Regis?” Tali said, sitting down on the couch next to Ashley.  Vik looked amused, watching them with a barely concealed glee.

He ignored them.  Kaidan crossed his arms, nudging Zaeed with his shoulder.  “Why, thank you.”

“We try,” Zaeed smirked.  

Regis smiled, feeling his cheeks heat up.  “What would I do without you both?”

“You’ll never find out,” Kaidan said as Zaeed chuckled, “There’s no goddamn way you’ll ever find out.”

“God, you three are so sickening,” Ashley said, shaking her head.

“Which is why we keep them on their toes!” Tali said, giving them all a look.  “Time and a place.”

“This is my apartment.  I’m going to do whatever I want in it,” Regis shot back as Zaeed kissed his cheek.  

“You tell them, babe.”

Regis shook his head.  “I’m going to check in with the crew, and hopefully soon Wren wil have figured something out.”

“Are we embarrassing you, love?” Kaidan asked.  “Go on, do your job.”

“I’m not the only Admiral here.”

“And yet you’re the one who is in charge of the ship.”

Regis gave him a look and twitched his fingers, sending a small burst of dark energy to shock Kaidan.  He walked away with a smirk, knowing his gaze was following him as he walked over to Moearu and EDI.

“You know, he used me as bait,” he said, sitting at the bar.

“Yes.  You have mentioned that a few times, Jeff,” she replied.  “A sound solution.”

“Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I’m on the side of data, which states that Shepard’s strategy ensured that you got out with minimal injuries.”

“My pride is injured.”

“An unfortunate side effect that is rectified by personal growth and reflection,” she replied, not missing a beat.  

Yeah, they’re fine.  No need to interrupt.

Steve was sitting at the bar in the back of his apartment, away from all the chaos.  Probably the quietest part of his place at the moment.  “Hey Shepard.  Glad you made it out okay.”

“Hey Steve,” Regis said, sitting down next to him.  “Adrian didn’t join us?”

He shook his head.  “Nah, said something about a job he needed to look into.  He’ll try to stop by later, wanting me to tell you he is worried about you.  But I know he’s not going to miss out on spending time with Vik so…” He trailed off, a knowing look in his eye.  “I should’ve brought Tomas into this.”

“Coats would’ve been great to have on hand,” Regis said with a nod.  “I’ve been meaning to ask if he wants to transfer on board the Normandy.  Thoughts?”

“You matchmaker,” Steve said, blushing.  “If you can make it happen and he’s fine with being on board our little circus, I’m okay with that.”

“Of course, anything for my crew.”

“Almost anything,” Steve corrected.  “After that fiasco, never go out to eat with Joker!”

“Not that I ever enjoyed going out with him before,” Regis chuckled.  “If I need a pilot in this mess, you’ll be the first I’ll call.”

“I’m sure Joker will take offense to that.”

“He knows I prefer you on the shuttle excursions.  He’s a bit too… showy,” Regis said, shaking his head.  

“Oh, I agree.  Time and a place.  Finesse is what’s needed for drop-ins.”

“Admiral,” Javik greeted as he joined them.  “Much quieter back here.”

Regis motioned for him to sit down, but he stayed standing.  “It is.  Calm before the storm.  Anything you want to say?”

He shook his head.  “Nothing that hasn’t already been said.  This is a first for me.  Never heard of anyone in my cycle falling through a fish tank.”

“Wasn’t exactly my fault,” Regis said with a pointed look.  “Blame the mercs.”

“I think I’m going to enjoy teaching them a lesson,” he grinned, showing pointed, thin teeth.  “I heard our Broker say she found something out.  Maybe it will be useful to us.”

“Thanks, Javik.”

He walked down the hallway to join Wren and Brooks.  “If you’re ready, I already found something.”

“Want me to go ahead and gather the team?” Regis asked.  

“Please do.  The faster the better,” she said, not looking up from her portable terminal.

Regis announced for everyone to huddle up, and soon enough, the crew was around the dining table, waiting for Wren’s announcement.  Like always, Kaidan and Zaeed stood next to him, flanking him on both sides.

Wren looked around the table, seemingly counting off everyone before clearing her throat.  “We have a lead.  I called in some favors to run a trace on the gun.”  She typed something on her terminal that brought up a picture of an older man.  “Which brought me to Elijah Khan.  A casino owner who has been suspected of using his profits to smuggle weapons into the Citadel.”

“I found it interesting that after the attempt on Regis’s life, Khan made a call.”  She pulled up the audio, the picture changing to a basic media player.

“I’m cutting you off and returning your down payment now.”  The first voice must be Khan, sounding frustrated, perhaps even panicked.

“What’s the problem?”  Someone replied, their voice sounding altered to stay anonymous.  

“Turn on a vidscreen!  When I sell a gun, I don’t want it showing up on the nightly news!”  Great.  Guess he needs to expect an interview or two in the future.  

“You won’t be linked to me,” the voice replied.

“Save it.  Our association is terminated.  And if you even think about coming after me, I’ve got info on you ready for prime time, so you ponder that.  Khan out.”

The call ended, and Regis crossed his arms against his chest.  “Found our identity thief.”

“Unfortunately, they have an ID disguiser,” Vik nearly groaned.  “Not even Adrian can get around those reliably.”

Regis sighed.  “I was afraid of that.  Anyway, did you find anything on the mercs?  Affiliations, origins, any of that shit?”

Wren nodded, looking grim.  “A PMC named CAT-6.  As most of you should know, it’s the Alliance term for dishonorable discharge.  Criminal records, steroid use, violent histories… you know the drill.  Definitely hired by the thief, no association with Khan.”

“Good job with the phone call,” Kaidan said in approval. 

“We can lean on Khan, probably get him to squeal,” Zaeed said, looking down at the gun.  “Throw in a few Spectre threats and we can get him to talk all while taking the goddamn bastard down.”

Wren shook her head.  “If only it were that easy.  The casino has a panic room and chances are, he’ll go to ground there.”

“I would suggest providing programs to hack the doors alongside your own security,” EDI started to say, turning to face Regis and Wren.  “But there are many guards and cameras on the premises.”

“Yeah.” Brooks said, adjusting her hat.  “He could disappear or worse.  If his guards ever open fire, normal people could get hit.  Like I did.”

He hated to admit she had a point.  But ‘normal’ people?  Seriously?  “I agree.  We can’t risk any civilians that could be targeted by our actions.  So, we go in quiet.  Small team.  No gunplay.”

Glyph reappeared on the table.  “Major Clarkson.  This evening the casino will be hosting a charity event to continue to assist refugees from the war.”

Wren smiled.  “Perfect.  Purchase some tickets and pull up a layout of the building.”

A holographic display of the casino appeared with a few key points highlighted on the map.

“This is great and all… but how close can we get?  Who puts a backdoor in a panic room?” Moreau asked.

“Allow me,” EDI said, stepping forward and adjusting the sleeves on her button down, her visor changing blue as she interacted with the map.  Parts of the map changed red, highlighting air shafts and vents.  “This air shaft bypasses the security gate and ends up in storage.  From there, the panic room’s door-camera can be disabled.”

“This isn’t just any casino,” Kaidan said, tilting his head to the side.  “There has to be alarms in the shaft.”

“I have some countermeasures that should help.  I’ll know more once our team gets inside,” Wren said, swiping to another screen on her terminal.  

Javik looked at the map, resting his chin on his fingers.  “Whoever goes inside that shaft needs to be small in size.”

Wrex laughed.  “Yeah, that’s not me.” He gestured down at his armor.

Everyone’s gaze slowly fell on Tali.  She shook her head.   “I’ve done my time in the vents before.  And besides, my suit’s built in tech will be picked up by the sensors.”

EDI piped up.  “My presence in the casino would arouse suspicion.  Mechs are not allowed since they can have cheating software, even if I wore my mech’s synth skin.”

Ashley held up her hands.  “I can do infiltration, but not this kind of infiltration.  Sorry, but no.  You’ll need me for backup if things go south.”

Brooks looked at all of them. “What you need is somebody trained in zero-emissions tech.  No electronics, no metal.  Just undetectable polymers.  We had a course back at Op-Int, disabling a bomb with these little tweezers.  See, the bomb was filled with shaving cream…”

They didn’t have many options.  Regis, Kaidan, and Zaeed were all too large and filled with tech and would likely be the main ones on the field.  EDI and Tali were ruled out.  Same for Javik and Wrex.  Steve didn’t speak up during the meeting, but Regis wasn’t about to volunteer him.  Vik’s implants and enhancements to improve their skills as a surgeon also prevented them from doing it.  Wren’s running the operation.  

Looks like it has to be Brooks.  And Regis was hoping that wouldn’t be the case.

Regis met Brooks's gaze.  “All right.  You’re in.”

She stepped back.  “What?  No… What?!”

Regis gestured around him.  “You said it yourself.  We’ve all got too much tech.  And it’s too risky to bring anyone else in.”

“But… I managed to get shot just coming to talk to you!  Now I’m supposed to hack my way into a safe room?” Brooks replied, shaking her head.

“Getting shot was something no one would have planned for,” Kaidan offered.  “There was no way to know that the mercs were already after Regis.”

“Exactly,” Zaeed said with a nod.  “None of this is a typical situation and none of us have any goddamn options.”

She still looked hesitant, so Regis spoke up.  “I recall saying to you that this is my operation and you will be working under my orders.  Listen to our orders and focus.  You have a team backing you up.”

She let out a sigh and nodded.  Maybe this will teach her some confidence.

Or cause this whole operation to go down in flames.  

Wren clapped her hands together.  “Great!  Now that everything is settled, there is one last hurdle to get us inside.”

“Which is?” Regis prompted, raising an eyebrow. 

She grinned.  “Black tie required.”

“Oh hell yes,” Regis said, damn near cheering.  “It’s a good thing I didn’t waste my best suit on you, Moreau!”  Kaidan also looked pleased, but Zaeed started to frown, never quite enjoying looking nice.  

It took him no time at all after their wedding for him to start taking down his suit, leaving him in his button down while Regis and Kaidan stayed in their finery until that evening.

He’s going to enjoy dressing them all up to match and shutting up Zaeed’s bitching about the matter.

“I take so much offense to that,” he replied, shaking his head.  “Are we all going into the casino?  Or is it just these crazy lovebirds over here.”

“Small team.  So just those three and Brooks,” Wren replied, pulling up the tickets.  “The rest of us will say close, but outside, ready to react if need be.”

“When does it start?” Kaidan asked.  “How much time do we have?”

“It’s supposed to go on for the entire evening late into early morning, so we can get there at any time.  Fashionably late or just on time.  Doesn’t matter to me as long as we get inside,” Wren said.  “Now, let’s give our infiltration specialists time to get changed, shall we?”

WIth the meeting over, everyone dispersed, going back to hang out in the apartment, some deciding to leave to grab their gear so they’ll be ready to go if something happens.  Luckily, they all had spare versions of their preferred hardsuits lying around along with their main gear, so at a moment’s notice the triad can be prepared for anything.  

“Don’t take too long up there, boys,” Ashley said as she walked back to the couch.  

“You have nothing to worry about.  Regis is a goddamn tyrant when it comes to fashion,” Zaeed muttered, heading over to the stairs.  “I’m sure he’s scheming already.”

“I have an idea in mind,” Regis replied, walking up the stairs.  He stopped at the doorway, ensuring none of the nosy crew were within earshot.  “But you know you love it.  All three of us, matching on and off the battlefield, showing that I’m yours and you are mine. ”

“Don’t fret, love,” Kaidan said, wrapping an arm around Zaeed’s shoulders.  “Just think, afterwards we might be able to make that promise to Regis happen.  Except this time, it’s all of us.”

“And I’ll say it again: You aren’t going to ruin my damn suit,” he shot back, opening their closet to pull out three wrapped suits.  One with red detailing, one with blue detailing, and one with yellow detailing.  The human crew sometimes joked about them being the primary colors, but Regis didn’t care.  

All they cared about was looking damn good, and Regis ensured that both on and off the battlefield.  Fabrics made of strong synthetics, able to take a few hits if need be.  Able to tolerate light action.

And be ready for any format event that is thrown at them, like this.  

“A three piece?” Zaeed asked, slipping off the protective sleeve.  “Hmm.  Not bad.  When did you get these ordered?”

“A while back.  Wanted them for our anniversary… but I thought they would be great for this,” Regis said, running his hand down the fabric.  “What do you think?” he asked softly.

“Beautiful work,” Kaidan said.  “Can’t wait to see all of us in them, stealing the show.”

“And that’s the whole point,” Regis said, moving to kiss his cheek.  “Is it bad to say I’m actually looking forward to this?”

“Nah, I know you love showing us off,” Zaeed replied.  “Still doing okay?”

He nodded.  “Thanks, by the way.” “No need to thank me, baby.  Though I did panic a bit when you damn near went limp in my arms.  You needed the rest.  I only wish it was longer.”

“Me too.  I wanted to join the both of you,” Kaidan said, glancing over at the tub.  “Duty called and it still does.”

“It never stops,” Regis agreed.  “Hopefully we’ll get some time to ourselves after this.  We can’t be running this mission without stopping, and I want our apartment back.”

“I’m sure Vik and Ashley will ensure we get all the time we need to ourselves,” Zaeed said, starting to take off his clothes and put on the new suit.  “Or I will make sure of it.”

“You’ll hear no complaints from me, love,” Regis replied.  “Seeing you both out there…”

If he wasn’t covered in fish water, debris, and who knows what else, he would’ve shown his appreciation right then and there.  

“Love, your competency kink is showing,” Kaidan chuckled, moving over to the mirror to gel up his hair.  

“Can you blame me?”

“You know, there’s a reason why we chose those suits to wear…” Kaidan trailed off, heat behind his gaze.  

They continued to chat, recapping the events of earlier today and ensured they all had the details squared way before the event later tonight.

If it wasn’t soured by the threat over his head, Regis would loosen up, enjoy the evening as Regis Shepard-Massani-Alenko, giving interviews, press, and showing off his lovers.  Instead, he has to be careful to not draw any more attention than usual, and worry about the people around them, in case their assailant strikes while he’s vulnerable once more.  

Putting on the suit felt like putting on armor, immediately falling into his media presence persona.  How he wished he could be Regis at this moment, and not the ruthless Admiral.

But this time, he ensured he put the real rings on, the bands replacing the silicone ones that somehow survived the action of the day.  To his utter adoration, his husbands did the same, their commitments to each other shining in the light of their bedroom.

All ready for whatever comes next.  A casino heist at a charity event… if Regis knew where Kasumi was, she would be utterly delighted.

Just another day for Regis and his crew.

#mass effect #kaidan alenko #male shepard #zaeed massani #regis shepard #cleric's writing

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Heads up you should prob check the spreadsheet to remove duplicate submissions if you haven't done so already! From a quick scan, two albums by the crane wives have been submitted twice and basically every MCR album has more than one submission

Not to worry, we've got everything handled in a separate spreadsheet, but we leave the public spreadsheet unaltered. If someone does submit a duplicate submission before it ends up in the queue, we do actually combine the submissions.

But yeah as of now, here are the duplicates that we're aware of: (readmore because there's 50 of them)

The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance [Posted]

Ugly death no redemption angel curse I love you - Ada Rook [Posted]

Tragic Kingdom - No Doubt [Posted]

Escape From Dragon House - Dengue Fever [Posted]

Meteora - Linkin Park [Posted]

Flood - They Might Be Giants [Posted]

I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love - My Chemical Romance [Posted]

Remain in Light - Talking Heads [Posted]

Full Collapse - Thursday [Posted]

Conventional Weapons - My Chemical Romance [Posted]

OK Computer - Radiohead [Posted]

Plans - Death Cab For Cutie [Posted]

The Queen Is Dead - The Smith [Posted]

Demon Days - Gorillaz [Posted]

The Bends - Radiohead [Posted]

After The Gold Rush - Neil Young

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars - David Bowie

A Night At The Opera - Queen

Fleetwood Mac - Fleetwood Mac

London Calling - The Clash

Riot! - Paramore

Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morissette

tigers jaw - tigers jaw

The Silver Scream - Ice Nine Kills

Songs For the Deaf - Queens of the Stone Age

Infinity on High - Fall Out Boy

STOMACH BOOK - STOMACH BOOK

Parasite - Ada rook

Strange Mercy - St. Vincent

The Machines We Are - Dead and Divine

Loveless - My Bloody Valentine

signos - Soda Stereo

Strange Trails - Lord Huron

Live Through This - Hole

“in case i make it,” - will wood

twin fantasy - car seat headrest

The Fool in her Wedding Gown - The Crane Wives

Remember The Laughter - Ray Toro

Wide Open Spaces - The Chicks

Brand New Eyes - Paramore

Flight of the Knife - Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears

Foxlore - The Crane Wives

The Horror and the Wild - The Amazing Devil

Circle Thinking - I Hate Sex

Ruin - The Amazing Devil

' ' O ' ' - Rinse & Repeat

The Fear of Fear - Spiritbox

The Jaws of Life - Pierce the Veil

And triplicates:

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance [Posted]

After Laughter - Paramore

If anyone happens to spot anything that we've missed, please let us know! We're using conditional formatting to catch duplicates, and it's caught everything we've queued so far, but misspellings and such could fly under the radar…

#hyltta-asks

[nancyqueerer]

Part 2:The skull🍕💀

The two decided to go for a walk in the cabin. They actually think that it's abandon, and there's nothing in there but Robin heard something inside, so she knock the door and it opened. The girl in their same age standing holding the door opened.

Unknown woman: “Hello, what do you want?”

Robin: “Umm is this...” (Robin saying the address). “Or do you know this place instead?” Robin turned around to steve and she asked. “Hey, Steve do you remember the voice of the person who ordered?”

Steve: “Yeah it similar to her. Wait are you Ashley Gardner? uhh you gave your name for identification.”

Ashley: “Yeah I am, It's my address but—” Robin interrupted her speech.

Robin: “Ohh yeah, here's your pizza you have a great taste anyway.” Robin winks.

Steve: “What the but you said earlier it's...” Robin glared at him, letting his mouth shut up.

Robin: “Shhhhh don't be like that Steve”

Ashley: “but I didn't ordered pizza...” Ashley frown her forehead.

Steve: “No, cause it's your voice..I heard it I'm not hallucinating things”

Ashley: “Anyway, I will pay for it” Robin notice her creepy smile when Ashley trying to eye contact with her Robin looked away.

The whole ambience of the cabin changed into eerie feeling.

Robin stare at the walls there's a lot of guns and knifes stored there, she nervously look inside the cabinet where there's so many skulls not an animal but, HUMAN SKULLS!.

Robin: IT'S FREAKIN' MEEE OUT! Robin said in her mind.

Steve: While Steve touching a hand sculpture thing. "The texture seems not a clay, What is this?"

Ashley: “Just a miniature, I craft sometimes”

Robin: Robin snap Steve's hand by slapping it. “Are you nuts! why are you touching that! Get your hands out of it”

(Steve face when Robin slap his hand)

Steve: Why not? it's cool!

Ashley: Ashley chuckled grinning widely. "it's all right you can examine my house, visitors likes it" Ashley munching the pizza.

There's something Robin feels on Ashley's house. That she can't explain, it's creepy and gives an eerie vibes straight out of horror movies she watched.

She have a goosebumps when she sniff around. It's smell like a distinct, metallic tang like a rotten rats too. Robin become alarmed.

Robin: COME ON! WE GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW...WE HAVE TO ESCAPE THIS PLACE BEFORE- Robin whisper a sharp tone in Steve's ear her teeth greeting not making her mouth to move then she glared at Ashley.

Ashley: Why are you looking nervous?

Robin: UHH BECAUSE WE ARE PROBABLY LOST YOU KNOW Robin losing her mind she's panicking, fidgeting hands also her knees tremble.

Robin: “Please excuse us” Ashley just nodding and give a sinister smile, Robin grab Steve's arm away from the living room. “STEVE! I DON'T THINK WE'RE SAFE HERE. SHE'S DOING THAT CREEPY SMILE AGAIN!”

Steve: Hey she didn't pay the pizza yet! we can't let it like it's a freebie.

WE NEED THE PAYMENT OF THAT PIZZA, I'M SURE PATRICK YELLING AT US, WHEN WE COMBACK THERE.

Robin: Robin grip Steve's collar. “SO WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT? THE PAYMENT OR YOUR LIFE HUH?! SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU GOING TO CHOOSE THE PAYMENT. YOU ARE LITERALLY DINGUS EVERYTIME, STEVE. LISTEN TO ME FOR FUCK SAKE!” They are arguing in a small room.

#robin buckley #stranger things #ao3 #fanfic #steve harrington #platonic soulmates stobin #platonic stobin #pizza delivery

[jabbage]

#Letters from Watson #lettersfromwatson

[viciousgold]

"Don't chase the rabbit" 👀👀👀

content warning: statutory SA, abuse (basically this is my take of what happened between Marisa and Gerard Bonneville when Marisa was between the ages of seventeen and eighteen based on what we know from LBS and The Collectors so if that is triggering please avoid reading this) (this also includes the scene word for word from LBS where Malcolm tells her Gerard Bonneville is looking for her and how much this visibly shakes her, a usually fearless woman, and her daemon comforting her, a rare sight)

She had never loved Gerard Bonneville, though he had insisted he loved her. It started out as a professional relationship, Gerard being an experimental theologian studying Rusakov particles and Marisa a student at St. Sophia's, studying both experimental theology and metaphysics. Marisa was sixteen when they first met, only briefly, seventeen now. The first few months of them working together, in a sort of mentor/mentee relationship, it was strictly professional. However, slowly, Gerard realized how intensely fascinated Marisa was with his research, and how willing she seemed to do anything to know more. So he took advantage. Of course he did. Marisa learned that it was all men could do, was take advantage.

First, it was kissing between them, kissing and holding Marisa close. Marisa found that he always talked more about his research and showed her things when they were together like this. She soaked all of it up like a sponge, eager to learn more. She soon learned that he wasn't just studying Rusakov particles, he was also studying other worlds. Desperate to know more, their relationship furthered. As he drew her naked on canvas, touching her body as well, he told her all about the Barnard-Stokes Theory. As they lied together, he told her all about his machine that he was developing that could cut through the fabric of reality in order to see these worlds. Upon Marisa turning eighteen, he finished the development of this machine and had an unstable prototype. Still, she was desperate to see how it worked. Gerard agreed to show her if she agreed to try actually going to one of these other worlds. At the time, Marisa saw it as being gifted a wonderous opportunity, though Gerard saw it as testing if his device actually worked without assuming any of the risk. Marisa would be doing that.

She walked into that new world with such fervent curiosity and excitement. The machine had opened a window and was keeping it open, but her excitement soon turned into horror after it closed. She cried out to Gerard, banging on the wall hopelessly where the window had previously been. She had gone to explore this world for a few hours, taking in everything, trying to not panic, and hoped that the window would be open again when she got back. Thankfully when she went back to the spot, it took a few hours of waiting, but the window had opened again. Marisa ran through it and shoved Gerard in anger that he did that to her. That she was worried sick that he abandoned her, left her to die there. First he tried holding her, kissing her again to "try comforting her", but Marisa shoved him away. Told him to stay away from her. That she never wanted to see him again. Gerard told her to calm down, his hyena daemon snarling at hers.

"I mean it," she had said. "I'm leaving. Don't follow me." She had set off, away from his laboratory, though before she could leave, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back. He gripped at her clothes, tried forcing himself on her, though she fought back. She had kicked, bitten, shoved, clawed, and finally she got free from his grasp and ran away as fast as she could. She ran back to St. Sophia's, back to her dorm room and locked the door, panting, shaking, feeling like she had just escaped with her life. She thought about going to Dame Hannah to tell her what had happened, to ask for her protection, but she felt too much shame to do that. She was about to graduate, she reminded herself. Once she graduated, she could leave Oxford and never return here. Until then, she would stay on the St. Sophia's grounds, stay around people, and hope that Gerard wouldn't come after her.

Upon graduation, she married. Her mother was pressuring her to marry, and she was desperate to get out of Oxford. Edward lived in London, so she married for an escape and stability.

Everything with the affair and the scandal with Asriel happened after that. Soon after, she gained authority and power with the Magisterium. One of the very first things she did with this power was making sure Gerard Bonneville would be behind bars. She had the CCD arrest him, Marisa taking all of his research papers in the process, and was the major prosecution witness in his trial, for the charge of sexually attacking young girls. She had found out before that she hadn't been the only one. Using this, she made sure he was convicted and went to prison.

However, they didn't keep him for long. Soon, he would be released, and a boy would tell her of this.

“Mrs. Coulter,” he said, “I met someone the other day who was a friend of yours.”

Asta could see Jesper’s eyes widen. Mrs. Coulter smiled again, but differently.

“I wonder who that was,” she said.

“I don’t know his name. He came in our pub. He was talking about you. His dæmon’s a hyena with three legs.”

That was a horrible shock for her. Malcolm could see it, and Asta could see it, and Dr. Relf and Jesper could see it too—but all that happened was that the golden monkey leaned forward and put both paws on Mrs. Coulter’s shoulders, and the faint pink left her cheeks.

“What an extraordinary thing,” she said in the calmest tone in the world. “I’m sure I don’t know anyone like that. And what pub is this?”

“The Scrivener’s Arms,” said Malcolm, certain that there was no pub of that name anywhere in the city.

“And what was he saying?”

“Just that he was a friend of yours and he was going to see you soon. I don’t think many people believed him, actually, because he hadn’t been in before and no one really knew him.”

“And do you spend a lot of time chatting in the bar to strangers?” The color had come back to her cheeks, but where it had been a delicate flush before, it was now a small fierce spot on each cheekbone.

“No, I just help out in the evenings,” Malcolm said in his most equable tone. “I hear lots of people saying all sorts of things. If he comes back, shall I tell him I’ve seen you and you don’t know him?”

“You’d better not say anything. You’d better not listen to nonsense either. I’m sure Dr. Relf would agree.”

Malcolm looked at Dr. Relf, who was listening wide-eyed. But she blinked and recovered, and said, “Was there anything else I can help you with, Mrs. Coulter?”

“Not for now,” said Mrs. Coulter. The golden monkey had come to sit on her lap and press his face into her hair, as if he was whispering. She stroked his fur automatically, and he turned his head to glare at Malcolm with those unfathomable eyes.

Marisa had left that room feeling that similar fear for her life again. She clutched onto her daemon, who in turn had his arms wrapped around her so tightly.

"It's alright," he whispered quietly in Marisa's ear. He rarely spoke and when he did, it was only to her. "He won't find us. We're fine now. We're fine."

"We're fine." Marisa whispered.

#headcanon; #this destroyed me to write ; enjoy #tw abuse #tw sa

[words-after-midnight]

Happy STS!

If your WIP were to ever get an adaptation: Who would you want to compose the soundtrack and why? (me, for instance, I would want John Powell to compose FSF because of Kung Fu Panda and How to Train Your Dragon, and I would want Hanz Zimmer to do TCIO because I love all of the superhero movie scores he’s done.)

Bonus: give us some examples of the composer’s stuff you like!

For Life in Black and White 100% Jeremy Weinglass! You can hear examples of his stuff on my Instrumentals playlist for Life in Black and White or my Instrumentals playlist for The Dotted Line, or, for non-Spotify users, I'll list a few of my favorites. I absolutely love his entire Dreams album (2005), but in particular February (libaw's end arc song), Moon Child, and Perfection (on The Dotted Line's playlist). Not from that album, I also like his cover of Clocks by Coldplay, September, his cover of November Rain by GNR, his cover of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, and his cover of Don't Speak by No Doubt. My beta readers might recognize some of these titles as relevant to the story. ;)

For The Dotted Line, if we're speaking in pure pipe dream, I'd go with John Carpenter (also my favorite director). His work was a major atmospheric inspiration for what I'd like to create in terms of the horror genre, so that inspiration clearly bleeds into The Dotted Line's vibes. Bonus fun fact: his original Halloween film (1978) is my favorite movie! Some favorites: Weeping Ghost, Christine theme (from the 1983 film, also one of my favorite movies), Escape from New York theme, Halloween theme, The Fog, Night.

#thank you!! #sts #libaw #tdl #music

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

SOMEONE ELSE FINALLY SAID IT! Plus Vecna doesn’t make sense because Lloth would have been a better villain with a better connection to the spiders but the writers already had a spider looking ‘villain’ and called it the Mind Flayer. Sorry for the rant, none of my friends are into DnD and/or think Stranger Things S4 was good, I’m very alone in my bubble 🥲

But the writing for ST has imo gone downhill since S2. They bring in more and more characters with half related connections and either do fuck all with them or kill them off and the thing that gets me is that the drama with each character is always thrown to the side and ignored as soon as they realize something’s going on again and it’s like there wasn’t any drama (Every scene with Nancy and Jonathan)

Plus the Duffers are supposedly making another Netflix adaption of Death Note so I really don’t like them now lol

Ugh don't even remind me of that Death Note adaptation lol

S3 and S4 suffer from the Walking Dead problem where there are so many characters that the story has to be put on hold for each storyline and then get paused to go to the next one for a bit, and the payoff where they converge just doesn't work. Also I could not give less of a fuck about Nancy and Jonathan's storyline and their relationship shit got way too much play. Mike and El's relationship drama was hamfisted as fuck and I'm really hoping Will gets to have a character arc besides being very obviously gay and have more aspects to his character again in S5. You have this character whose trauma is so glossed over and never really addressed because we have a dozen new characters and storylines to deal with. Will was a victim of circumstance that nearly died after isolation in another world of horrors, was possessed by one of those horrors (and apparently still is to an extent given how he can sense Vecna AND the Mind Flayer), and might be struggling with the fact that everyone around him is moving on from what happened. I want him to be frustrated and scared of losing his friends and family, being separated from everyone and NEVER feeling a sense of closure to what happened to him. You can have Will be gay and ALSO have him be interesting/multifaceted too, you know, but this is the Duffer Brothers and Netflix we're talking about. It's the same issue I had with Robin where she's totally flanderized and has two main roles in the plot: be gay, and be awkward. I'm sorry but in this age of representation, having a character be gay does not equal them being well-written.

Hopper's monologue about his life story is easily the most egregious case of "Tell don't show" in a season FILLED with fucking "Tell don't show" and is also David Harbour's worst acting moment. That was wooden as fuck and the worst way to do that kind of scene. Tbh the entire Russia side plot was shit and could've been cut out nearly 100%.

Also: why give Hopper this big escape when he just gets caught anyway? Why have him break his foot (with unconvincing acting to show he's in the pain he should be in) if it doesn't lead to anything? Why have Joyce and Murray survive a FUCKING PLANE CRASH without a scratch? If you need to have Hopper learn there are Demogorgons, you could have done it a million better ways than an escape cocktease that fails in the end.

Why did Vecna only start killing now? He had decades to open the portals using this method, so why send the Mind Flayer out, have it fuck up, and go "no this time I'll totally kill everyone guys?" Why go after Max months after Billy's death at an arbitrary time after killing two random characters? Is it because he needs to use the school counselor patient list as a list of targets? If so, why? He has his tentacle Cerebro thing, after all. And again, why wait until right now to do this plan?

Also I don't get everyone shilling for that hokey-as-fuck scene of Max running with Kate Bush playing, it's easily one of the dumbest shot/edited moments that I couldn't take seriously at all. I also hate the red flashes and CG look of that part of the Upside Down, it reminds me of any given superhero movie with the CGI bloat and generic scawy vibe it has.

Vecna is easily the worst aspect of the entire series but it's not like Season 4 was that good to begin with. Once the initial hype and emotional high wears off, I think more fans will notice how stupid it is the same way they did for S3 and its cartoony fanfic vibe it had. That said...just because it isn't good, doesn't mean I don't like it. I like Season 4 but it's still easily the worst season on a show that's been sliding down in quality since S2.

My tier is: 1 is a 10/10, 2 is a 9/10, 3 is a 7.5 or 8/10, and 4 is a 4.4 to 5/10. Now I'm waiting for S5 to just go all out and pull a Game of Thrones style ending that completely shits the bed lol

#now i just want to write an entire outline of how id rewrite s4 and Vecna #just to flex on two multimillionaire hacks. yeah. THAT'LL show em lol #im sure theyre crying into a pile of cash over their dwindling talents. totslly #sloot bitches about things #.stranger things #stranger things s4 #stranger things s4 spoilers

[teagrl]

Some tl;dr on Lord of Naberrie post finishing and its relationship to my other junk :

I've been on a coming of age story kick for a while now though I didn't set out to write Lord of Naberrie as that. Frankly, I started just wanting to write a "capital G" gothic where Luke would have responsibilities forced upon him and a very complicated relationship with his family. From there, I started elaborating Pooja and her troubled issues and sticking Mara-undercover in as a destabilizing element and we were off to the races. River of Stone (another w i l d SW AU of mine) shares surprising kinship in the coming age angle and I've always thought of Stone as a gothic (captivity, mysterious male figure, etc), just in a different way (jungle gothic?).

The largest similarity to River of Stone comes in how in Naberrie Luke has been kept ignorant of his background (and kind of infantilized? Basically held under the shadow of all these female figures, Sola/Ryoo/Pooja). Obviously by the end where we see Luke in the throes of a non-con mindlink, suffering from Mara drawing from the Force inelegantly (she doesn't know how) and his own concerns over whether he's experiencing some kind of psychosis, we most clearly see the link to River of Stone (another story where a non-con mindlink is presented as a horrible thing, but there *Luke* knows a little better what he's doing being a full Jedi and all), I think.

In Stone, while Mara is aware of her talent and is obviously somewhat trained, the narrative flows from her ignorance on what all of that means for future her (the fact that she's essentially condemned to die which is what Luke is trying to change through time travel). In Lord of Naberrie we learn in the finale that Luke has been similarly condemned to die -- at his sister's hand (which is a thematic star wars-y thing imo, from Luke being sent to kill his dad right down to the questionable ST,). It's that terrible knowledge of what she might have to do that drives Pooja Naberrie's own shaky mental stability as she shudders under the weight of HER responsibility to keep Luke from being taken.

I didn't mean to mine the similarities although I am interested in narratives where the characters get put in a box and there's no (obvious?) escape. I ended up feeling a lot of empathy for Pooja and while I'm not pleased that she died, I think she had to for the narrative I was trying to tell about loss and coming of age (and here I think of Citadel of Shattered Mirrors which is yet ANOTHER capital 'G' gothic, coming of age, damn I'm just repeating myself ad nauseam *facepalm* I just have obsessions INTERESTS okay?).

(I always ask myself to what end am I killing/making characters suffer. There's no doubt I am more interested in Pooja as a complicating factor in the narrative though I tried to give her an inner life and make her a valid engine of the story. I had the same question with respect to original!Mara in Stone, I can go on a huge lit crit tangent wrt dead women in narratives, partially influenced by this amazing text called Over Her Dead Body so this is an issue that I constantly ponder for better or worse).

In writing such an obviously gothic story, I doubted myself a lot re Star Wars elements. I did a lot of Naboo noble worldbuilding, but The end is a typical horror ending where the suggestion is that Luke's pursuit of vengeance now WILL make him into a monster.

The ending is half filtered through Mara, who while she starts slippery (and might end that way too), gets a little more complicated in the end. She did get attached to Pooja, she does hurt a lot with Pooja's death. This was something she didn't anticipate in her single minded goal to survive.

I ended up really fascinated by this Luke Naberrie character and his potential. That "choosing violence" is a beat I liked a bunch in Burn Up My Heels too, but Burn ends in a far more stable shipper place. Naberrie is such a genre story though, that I feel a little bad for the tonal whiplash to follow when/if I continue, but the plot threads are so juicy, I continue to be intrigued.

#shut up frangi #my fic #naboo gothic

[lastchancevillagegreen]

Another Top Ten Favorite Graphic Novels Read in 2023:

#11

Monica Daniel Clowes (2023)

Daniel Clowes’ first novel in six years is a challenging read about a mother who despises motherhood and marriage and dumps her daughter with her parents and splits.  Where does she go?  That’s what her daughter Monica attempts to discover.  In typical Clowes fashion this takes so many detours and does so in the style of a variety of old comic books (war, romance, EC Horror, etc).  I did this book a tremendous disservice by not reading it in one sitting as I do 95% of all graphic novels.  Had I done so, it might have appeared higher in my list. 

#12

We Are On Our Own Miriam Katin (2006)

Letting It Go Miriam Katin (2013)

In We Are On Our Own, Katin tells the true story of her life between the ages of two to six as she and her mother who are forced to escape Budapest on foot (the husband is in the Hungarian army fighting the Nazis).  They fake their deaths (as suicides), get fake papers and end up in the country living with a couple as a servant and her illegitimate daughter.  Harrowing and heartbreaking.  The biggest shock: this was Katin’s first graphic novel and she wrote, drew it and had it published at the tender age of 64.  In Letting It Go, Katin leaps forward in her life to tell the story of her adult son’s decision to move to Berlin and register to become a citizen. Miriam freaks out believing that Berlin is still the same city it was during World War II.  With the help of her husband Geoff, her son Ilan and his Swedish girlfriend Tinet, not to mention plenty of martinis, Miriam discovers that letting go of her anger can become a good thing.

#13

Just Another Meat-Eating Dirtbag Michael Anthony and Chai Simone (2022)

Michael is an Iraq War vet and his girlfriend Coconut is a nurse.  And a vegetarian.  And she has difficulty with Michael’s meat eating.  Long story short: she becomes an animal activist on top of her vegetarianism, and he decides to convert to her way of thinking but only because he believes he can convert her back to eating meat via a sly method he calls the Trojan Tofu Horse methodology.  This book is based on the authors own marriage and it is the funniest and most unexpected book to appear on this list.  A sheer delight but it begs the question, why are boys so stupid?

#14

Who Will Make The Pancakes Megan Kelso (2022)

This is an anthology of five of Kelso’s stories for a variety of publications all in different mediums and Kelso, a self taught artist, is a master of all of them.  Her story Watergate Sue about having a mother who loved watching the Watergate hearings more than she did motherhood is hilarious.  But the book’s masterpiece, from 2011, is story four: Korin Voss a heartbreaking tale of a single mother of two girls, Athena and Penelope.  The things this mother does to keep food on the table is heart wrenching and destructive, but ultimately it proves again just how difficult motherhood can be. 

#15

Queenie Godmother of Harlem Elizabeth Colomba and Aurélie Levy (2023)

Exceptional bio-graphic novel about Stephanie St Clair, the godmother of Harlem who exerted quite a grip on Harlem as she ran her numbers racket.  This all took place during the Harlem Renaissance and when prohibition ended suddenly all the big time gangsters wanted to take over St Clair’s numbers racket.  Elizabeth Colomba’s artwork is simply stunning.

#16

The Man In The McIntosh Suit Rina Ayuyang

Taking place in Watsonville, California during the Depression, this novel about the Filipino experience in the US is captivating.  Steeped heavily in noirish qualities and filled with gangsters, mistaken identities and plenty of circumspect happenings in the shadows, this ensures I will seek out Rina Ayuyang’s work from this point on.

#17

Sunshine Jarrett J Krosoczka (2023)

Jarrett Krosoczka spent two weeks of his life as a senior in high school attending a camp where he worked as a “counselor” (ie: a person who tends to the moods and needs of) for kids who had cancer.  As a social worker who had plenty of high school kids die on my caseload because of disabling conditions I wasn’t sure I wanted to read this, dreading a schmaltzy Hallmark feel-good novel.  I feared overdosing on the word “courageous” and “brave,” words which my students never appreciated because they were just living their life.  But to his credit Krosoczka avoids them (he says “courageous” once) and even better he allows his counselors to get angry with the kids.  Since these kids come to camp to experience a normal life situation, what better way to give them that?  Even better, the author befriended many of them and kept in contact with them until Death came knocking at their door, but he kept right on being friends with the families.  The best part: Krosoczka’s artwork has improved measurably (his last book Hey, Kiddo suffered because of the artwork).

#18

Lon Chaney Speaks Pat Dorian (2020)

The 30something author/artist of this book admits in an introduction that he is wildly out of step with his peers in his love for silent cinema.  He then admits that Chaney, a notorious man who hated speaking about his life or with the press, was a difficult person to learn about.  Dorian admits this “is not a historical document; an imagined biography is more accurate.”  But this is not fan fiction (something I despise).  Dorian manages to make a lot of discoveries about Chaney and it ends up being a marvelous read.  What would Chaney think?  Well, he would have bothered reading the book and besides, he’s dead. 

#19

The Twilight Man: Rod Serling and The Birth of Television Koren Shadmi (2019)

All Tomorrow’s Parties: The Velvet Underground Story Koren Shadmi (2023)

Koren Shadmi wrote a graphic novel about Bela Lugosi that made my Top 20 a couple of years ago.  Earlier this year I discovered his biography on Rod Serling in which Shadmi rightfully argues that Serling is one of the most important figures in early television.  His most recent bio-graphic novel concerns the Velvet Underground.  He documents how Lou Reed and John Cale got together, following the band through to their fourth album Loaded when Reed suddenly left the band. Both books are expertly drawn, incredibly researched and reveal Shadmi’s love of his subject matter. 

#20 A Guest In The House Emily Bloom

Abby is newly married to a dentist.  It is his second marriage.  She feels slightly uncomfortable in her new guise as a bride and a mother.  She is now step-mother to a preteen and struggles to relate to her.  There are questions about the death of the first wife and as the novel slowly moves forward not only does Abby begin to question what her husband has told her, she also begins getting visits from the dead wife’s ghost.  You think you know where this is going (I sure did) but by the end of the novel, you realize you didn’t have a clue.  And you might even have to read parts of the book again to fully comprehend what happened at the end, but all the pieces of this puzzle are laid out for us to see, we just don’t recognize them. 

Missing In Action spines are all seen below!