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ghostedcas · 8 months

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imagine like simon goes into some sort of surgery and has to be put under anesthesia, and when he gets out hes like still high asf on it 💀 and hes being a lil silly goose

okay this is such a cute idea omg, this is 100% based off that tiktok audio where it's like "my wife wouldn't like you touching me like that" "i AM your wife."

thank you so much for the request nonnie, a forehead kiss for you MWAH MWAH

simon 'ghost' riley x reader

wc: 563

warnings: none really, lots and lots of that good ol fluff, mentions of surgery, goofy simon, maybe a little ooc simon (he's high so it's fine)

a/n: i hope this is okay, i'm feeling a bit rusty with my writing but i've finally got back some motivation and energy to do so after the past two months of low energy and bad mental health. if you guys want to know a bit more about it and my mental health (i don't see why anyone would but lmao) let me know, i don't mind making a post about it if you guys want an explanation of some sort or whatever. anywho, sorry this is so short but i hope you still like it!! <3

a/n 2.0: i recently applied for a part time job at a bookstore so y'all pray for me that i get this job because i want it so bad. i am just gonna decide that i WILL get this job, because why wouldn't i?

simon had been out of surgery for just over an hour now, being a soldier you 'd think perhaps he was going under surgery for some kind of wound he had inflicted upon him on the battlefield but no, he was just getting his tonsils removed after a bad bout of tonsillitis ended up with him developing really bad tonsil stones.

so here you were, waiting by his bedside for him to wake up. the doctor and nurses reminded you just as he had gotten out that he may still be a little, well loopy, off of the meds depending on how quickly he woke up. you waited in a chair at his bedside, reading a book when you heard the blankets of the bed rustling just a little.

looking up from your book you see simon starting to wake up and you reach out to grasp his hand, only for him to rip it away from you when his eyes were fully opened.

"uh, si? you okay, hon?" you ask gently, maybe he just wasn't feeling too well after waking up, or perhaps he wasn't wanting physical touch, that happened quite often and you always respected that space he may want when he wanted it.

"don't call me that." simon said, voice hoarse and scratchy from the surgery, he sounded a little angry.

"what?" you questioned, this wasn't like simon, you couldn't understand why he wouldn't want you speaking like this to him.

"i'm taken."

"i know." you replied with a short laugh.

"you should be touching me like that then."

it hit you then, he was woozy from the meds and didn't recognize you. the realization made you laugh a little more. you decided to have a bit of fun with this high version of your boyfriend.

"sorry about that simon. wanna tell me about your partner?"

"oh, (name)? they're amazing, you know they're so pretty. and they're funny too. they always know how to make me feel better, i miss them." simon replies, ranting and raving on and on to you about his partner, about you.

"you love them a lot, don't you?" you ask him with a smile, it felt so nice to hear all these lovely things about yourself, your boyfriend clearly unfiltered by the effects of the anesthesia he was under.

sure he definitely said sweet things to your face, but something about hearing it when he was basically high as shit made your heart pound a little more.

"i love them with my whole heart." simon replies, a goofy little smile on his face.

you can't help but reach out to gently caress his face at those words, body filling up with some much adoration for the soldier in front of you.

"hey! what did i say about touching me. i have a partner!" simon scolds, trying to dodge your touch.

"simon, love... i am your partner. it's me, (name)." you reply with a laugh.

simon takes a good long look at you when you tell him this, he stares at you, looks you up and down before letting out a soft and quiet "oh."

you begin to hear the beeping of his heart rate monitor speed up, his cheeks turning slightly pink as he stares up at you.

you couldn't help but laugh a little more at this. what a sweet idiot. your sweet idiot.

#ghostedcas #casper writes #casper's 💌#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley fluff #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x reader fluff #ghost riley x reader

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tamayula-hl · 3 months

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It's been a long time since I've posted as my daughter and I have both been in bed with the flu and Covid! And once again I apologise for posting an article that is disturbing the atmosphere of HL fandom.

I have discussed the false accusation of trace plagiarism levelled against me with @freewld and have received an apology from her saying that it was a misunderstanding.

I am now deeply relieved that we were able to end the discussion with a result that convinced her of my innocence. If it was a misunderstanding, I am willing to end it all this time. I would like to end this false accusation racket with a discussion with her. I will refrain from mentioning the matter once and for all (unless another disturbing incident occurs), and I hope that you will refrain from further mention of it too. I also do not want any slanderous behaviour, excessive criticism, speculation or falsehoods towards her, so I strongly urge you all to refrain from doing so. (Just in case , I have compiled screenshots and other evidence regarding the defamation of me that I have received in this row, and submitted and consulted with lawyers and others)

She also requested that I make a correction announcement on four points, which I would like to make here.

She said she conducted the survey with the intention of "using it as one reference for the opinions of her followers".

Tamayula's wish was the reason she decided to make the suspicion of plagiarism public.

She did not vote on the survey from multiple accounts to give herself an advantage.

She only made her Twitter account private after the survey was invalidated.

My verified public article was written in Japanese, which I wrote in a very confused and upset state, and translated into English and published at DeepL. Therefore, it was very difficult to understand and there were many phrases that may have led to your misunderstanding. I would like to apologise deeply for the confusion caused to everyone by my misunderstanding and incomprehensible article, and at the same time, I would like to correct it here. Although it has taken me a long time to respond, I have corrected the English text of the article on Tumblr and made it private, and on Twitter, I have deleted the tweet that referred to the survey.

I was very upset by the false accusations that suddenly fell upon me, and I sincerely regret that I repeatedly exposed myself in an emotional and unsightly manner, and that I failed to respond correctly to the incident. I cannot thank enough those who were kind to me and gave me warm words and those who believed in my innocence. I am sorry, but I will refrain from replying to you now, because if I do so, it is likely to cause an uproar again, but your words of encouragement and support, which I received at a time when I was feeling quite emotionally drained, gave me tremendous emotional support, more than you can imagine. Thank you very much. I am deeply grateful.

As for my future creative activities, I plan to continue with both Tumblr and Twitter as they are now. (However, I intend to move at the end of March in my real life and will be very busy for a few months with preparations and my new life, so my activities will be quite low-key for the time being). My interest in HL, Seb and Omi has not changed, and I am still motivated to paint, but in reflecting on the current turmoil, I now realise that I was very easily influenced by other people's creative styles, and that I had a vague idea of what the boundaries of inspiration were. In the future, I will continue to be self-conscious about my own dangerous values and make every effort to correct them, and if I have used a work as a reference, I will clearly state it and do my utmost not to cause trouble for others as an artist.

Finally, I am very sorry for the trouble I have caused to so many people. And to those of you who have been so warm and thoughtful, once again, thank you very much indeed 🙏 I will continue to do my best in drawing from now on!

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ofoceansandtombsanew · 1 month

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Sorry: I thought of another Makima comment/question. But before I bring that up, I am very excited to see that you are writing something for JJK!!!! I know it's going to be so perfect and give me all the feels!!!

Okay so I read your response to my question, (I'm the one who asked about character study), and I just wanted your thoughts/opinions on the jealously issue that arises with Himeno. I know you mentioned Makima being jealous of Himeno's relationship with reader, and I want to know how much of that you think is nature or nurture. It's obvious she is possessive of reader due to her nature as the Control Devil, but do you think that is equally due to nurture? i.e. what she has learned from movies or from other humans' interactions with their significant others? I love the moment when she catches Himeno with her arms around reader's shoulders. I cannot imagine the range of intense emotions and inner turmoil she felt seeing that!!! And do you think that was a recurring feeling she experienced when someone got a little too close to her beloved? I feel that is a trait that will carry on to Nayuta and all other reincarnations (as possessiveness does in the Canon!)

Thank you so much for your time once again!

Hi again, I love talking about character studies and motivations so keep 'em coming if you ever have another question \^o^/

(As for that JJK fic... it is certainly going to be a grand ride and it is going to be a bit of stray from what I typically write. I'm having fun working on the draft, it's going to come with a surprise I hope people appreciate when it's finally up and posted!)

I think that as far as Makima's jealousy though, it's a mixture of both. It's in her nature to be possessive as one who is the physical embodiment of the fear of being controlled but I attribute her behavior to nurture as well. If you're someone who has been deprived of affection your whole life, you're bound to be possessive of whatever affection you receive. That's essentially how Makima's jealousy works as far as my fics goes.

When she has a shift in how she views the reader and their relationship changes, that affection is something she prefers to have to herself. But Makima is someone very patient and we see in the canon, she has no problem playing the long game to get what she wants. She won't lash out out of her emotions even if she wants to. So during the moment where she saw the extent of the reader's friendship with Himeno, there were quite a bit of ideas she had concerning Himeno and making her disappear entirely.

But at that point in time, Makima views the reader a beacon of light for the sort of relationship she can hope to have with someone one day. The reader has, at this point, never succumbed to Makima's abilities. The reader has recognized Makima's loneliness and reached out to comfort her even though at that point, the reader's opinion of Makima was quite low. Add to the fact that Makima and Reader's relationship has improved exponentially by that point, it's something she doesn't want anyone impeding on. Not even someone who was there first as "your friend".

And yet, Makima doesn't lash out despite how much she would like to. Because the key thing Makima has always desired is being able to have a relationship with someone built on equity rather than fear and control. She doesn't want to mess that up having a jealous fit. She is afraid of losing that affection she receives from the reader, but she is more afraid of there being a day the reader succumbs to the influence of Makima's powers.

So she relies on intimidation in the moment Himeno encroaches on someone Makima claims as her own. And when she feels that is failing, she decides to rely on good old-fashioned communication when the reader prompts her to be honest as to why she is upset during their date.

But when their relationship is solidified as a couple, I see Makima making it more apparent when she is feeling jealous or needy. Lovers should be honest with one another, after all. Especially after she reveals her true identity and it didn't scare the reader off. They have their contract, marriage in Makima's eyes. It's the ultimate insurance of their relationship. So it does increase a bit from then on.

Kishibe encroaching on their peaceful life.

The reader's death at the hand of the Rat Devil, destroying precious life Makima held so dearly to her heart. It's an unforgivable crime to take that away from her.

I feel that jealousy would even extend to your family as well. Your family is her family now, something she's always desired. A family that she didn't need to make her own through force. So I feel if the reader has any siblings or close family childhood friends, Makima would feel some type of way about it.

It never makes it into the final draft, but there was a small joke in my outline about how Makima would view the reader making a contract with another devil as cheating. It was something I was only planning on being some sort of gag, but I don't think it would be too far from the truth. Makima would prefer to be the only devil the reader ever has a contract with.

And when it comes to her future incarnations, they definitely have varying degrees of possessiveness regardless of the quality of their lives. Nayuta doesn't showcase it during the sequel mostly due to the fact that for an indiscernible amount of time, it's only ever been just her and the reincarnated reader. So I imagine that when the two of them begin interacting with other people on the regular from schoolmates to even Power, it begins to come out more.

But Himeno, fun as she is, is strict about that. So Nayuta isn't allowed to let those feelings run rampant no matter how much she would like to.

#look she's answering #anon #makima x reader #nayuta

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floppydiskettess · 1 year

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Hi! I’d like to request a Hyde x reader for Coffee Talk please. It can be about anything! Thank you!

MY FIRST COFFEE TALK REQUEST EEE!!! I TOTALLY THOUGHT THIS FANDOM WAS LIKE NON EXISTANT DHDHDNSNSN. PLEASE ENJOY !!!!

also im super duper sorry for not uploading lately, my motivation has been low and im kinda insecure ab my writing rn so im hesitant to post djdjsdn

CONFESSIONS AND FIRST DATES (Hyde coffee talk)

it was a typical day in your cafe, silver and amanda had just left to prepare for their upcoming trip they planned. you were really happy for them truly, but you would miss silver's presence.

lost in thought, you suddenly notice a pale slim finger tapping the counter. you look up to see the gothic model that you have grown to become fond of throughout the time of his visits.

"mr. hyde! sorry about that, i zoned out. what is new with you?"

he smirks and rests his face in his hands. "hm. i noticed. not much is new with me though, but are you alright? hope i wasn't i interupting anything important" he said with a chuckle.

you blush awkwardly at that. hoping he hadn't been waiting for you to refocus on real life for too long. he was quite stand-off ish and wary when you had first met but after the few months you have known him he has warmed up to you. he is a special customer to you. (but don't tell freya that.)

"no..sorry, i was just reflecting on some stuff. anyhow enough about me, would you fancy a drink?"

you could see his smirk grow a bit wider through his hands before he put his hands down and picked up his phone. "just my usual, you remember it right?"

you nod and he smiles once again before typing on his phone. you quickly busy yourself with his drink. you gently cut the ginger into fine slices before mixing into the sweet hibiscus mix. you pour it into a freshly cleaned cup before turning around. you notice that he was staring attently as you made his drink. you smiled at him before placing it on the counter for him.

"here you go, one zobo."

he gently picks up the cup before taking a sip, letting the flavour of the drink sink in. he hums before speaking again.

"good girl. i am a little suprised you remembered" he says with a smirk

you blush at the nickname before shooting back with a coy smile "how could i forget my favourite customers drink? it's not like you don't spend a lot of time here afterall. i can't tell if you come for the drinks or to visit me." you tease back at him.

for the first time, you notice a pale yet subtle blush spread across his face. his complexion quickly turning a light crimson. but before you can mention it however he nervously coughs and takes another sip of his drink. you make sure to store that memory to tease him about later..

he quickly busies himself doing something with his phone, seemingly typing agressivly to someone. he seems to have no more interest in speaking so you turn around to busy yourself with some leftover dishes from some earlier customers.

after about 5 minutes, you dry your hands and turn around to check on your customer. you are met with his gaze staring deeply at you as if he was long in thought. you feel a little nervous under his glare but you try to disregard it but when you go to retrieve the now finished drink you gently graze your hand on his. this seems to snap his out of it as he quickly looks up at you standing above him. you look down at him as you both just stare at eachother as if you were both scared to move.

from this view, you can see the makeup adorning his face. the concealer he had on under his eyes slightly fading so you could catch just a glimpse of his tired eyes. his skin looked incredible as if he keeps good care of it, you always wished you had effortless skin like his. as your eyes move over his face his blush gets deeper and deeper, but you assume by now your own face was bright red as well. you could just barely hear the quick and soft breaths coming from him, you were quite thankful nobody else was here right now as it would be quite the sight to see. the soft music in the background completely tuned out as you just focus on him.

you quickly realize how close and awkward it was, so you shakingly begin to pull away from him. before you can move far though you feel a warm hand grabbing your apron. you notice how he is no longer sitting and is pressed against the countertop standing so he can reach you. you feel yourself get pulled back before feeling a gentle warmth touch your cheek.

oh shit, he just kissed your cheek

you immediately lose all composure accepting that it is much to difficult to act unaffected by this.

you softly whisper his name in suprise as you look at the ground as if avoiding his gaze. his grip on you softens as he shakingly lets you go.

"i..i am so sorry. i had better leave...thank you for the drink." he stutters out nervously as he quickly gathers his belongings. you stare at him in awe of what had just happened.

before he can leave however you reach out and grab onto his dress shirt, he turns around startled.

"...can i at least get your number..? incase you ever want to talk outside of the cafe you know?"

he looks suprised but he nods as he writes down his own number on a peice of paper.

"here. this is my personal phone...sometime we should go out for food, if you want to of course." he says calmly with a soft smile that is rare to see

you nod and smile back at him "i would love that..have a good rest of your night Hyde."

he relaxes and smiles back at you before walking out of the cafe.when the room was empty, you slumped down onto one of the benches and softly laughed. looking forward to your next encounter with the mysterious vampire. you save his number and send a quick hello text.

soon after, your phone softly beeps.

a/n: hi djsjsjjdjsjs im sorry this is si bad...like i said im really not happy with my writing lately it has been very bad and cringe. im not doing to great so it has been super hard to work on the requests.

#coffee talk #coffee talk game #hyde coffee talk #hyde x reader #coffee talk x reader #hyde x reader coffee talk

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miraculouscriticismshub · 10 months

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My thoughts on Felix - anti hero gone wrong

Introduction - SEASON 5 SPOILERS AHEAD

Felix Fathom - the show's anti hero. Easily one of the smartest characters of the show and has gained quite a large fanbase. However , his Character took a drastic turn in Season 5 , with the transition from anti-hero to a hero. He joins the team in the season 5 finale - which has raised a few eyebrows. This post will explain my thoughts on Felix and why I dislike how his character has been written this season . Don’t get me wrong , I don’t hate Felix but it annoys me how he does awful things and doesn’t face any consequences. This is not a hate post on Felix but simply me sharing my opinion on him.

His Character explained up until Emotion

Felix seemingly had a rough childhood. Due to Amelie being infertile , Colt created Felix from the peacock miraculous , which caused him to be a senti.

Due to Colt using the broken miraculous , he got sick and seemingly blamed , abused and controlled Felix.

When Felix was 13 , due to frustration , Colt punched the wall , breaking the ring which is where Felix’s amok is. This nearly killed Felix and made him realize his life was tied to his father’s ring. Soon his father died and he took his ring , securing his freedom. However he was forever paranoid of the idea of disappearing and when he found out about the peacock miraculous, he made it his goal to steal it from his uncle to ensure his survival. We see him first in the episode Felix , where he steals Gabriel's ring. We see him come back in Gabriel Agreste , finding out his uncle is a Shadow Moth , confirming his suspicions that he had the peacock miraculous.

The trauma from his interaction with Gabriel , thinking he was about to be snapped out of existence, triggers him to complete his mission. In the Season 4 finale , he steals most of the miraculous and trades all of them and Gabriel's ring for the peacock miraculous.

The rings from my understanding were a safety net in case anything went wrong. He knew Gabriel would never trade the peacock miraculous for his wife's ring because of how powerful the miraculous was so he stole most of the miraculouses because he knew about Gabriels plan. He laid low for a few months then in the episode Emotion , he committed mass genocide by snapping every human to the red moon and leaving only the senti-trio and Marinette on Earth.

His motive - freeing his cousin and Kagami ( who he recently found out was a senti) from their parents. He however realized he lost control and brought everyone back. Felix is an anti-hero in the sense that he had good intentions but goes about it in the wrong way. He had a good reason to trade the jewelry for the peacock in order to be free , to never be under the mercy of the peacock miraculous holder , who can snap him out of existence anytime. However he achieved his goal in an unethical way , by betraying ladybug and stealing the miraculous. This also applies in Emotion , he felt empathy for Kagami and felt bad about Adrien because he was in the same situation as them which is not being able to be in control of themselves. He wanted to help them experience the same freedom he has so he snapped Gabriel and Tomoe to the red moon. However he went way too far by snapping away literally everyone committing genocide. He had a sympathetic motive - helping Adrien and Kagami but how he conducted his methods in a questionable way portrays him as a morally gray character.

This is what makes his Character compelling . You sympathize with his character and understand why he does the things he does but at the same time disagree with his methods and resent him for helping the main villain.

Why Feligami doesn’t work

Pretension is the episode where Felix’s character went wrong for me. This is mainly because of Feligami (sorry Feligami stans😔😔). He seemingly falls in love with Kagami after one episode and from my understanding - stalks and kidnaps her from her mom . Now Tomoe is awful but there really was no need to kidnap her - she was only shouting at her - not beating her up. He kidnapped Kagami not because she was in any danger but wanted to confess his love towards her and make her fall in love with him . Kagami was not having any of it however when he seemingly saves her and tells her about his tragic backstory , she instantly gains feelings.

The problem with this is that Kagami barely knows Felix . From her POV , he could easily be lying in order to gain sympathy from her. They got together during one episode which caused the ship to feel rushed. Another reason why this ship doesn't work is how they fell in love. Sure Kagami saw Felix differently after Felix saved her from Tomoe and gave her the ring but you don’t fall in love after three interactions.

Kagami chooses to be with Felix because he looks exactly like Adrien which causes the ship to be unhealthy because she still has unresolved feelings for her ex. She doesn’t love Felix for who he is , she loves him because he looks like Adrien. If she started dating Felix after knowing him for a few weeks/months then it would’ve made more sense that she fell in love with Felix because of his personality , not his appearance.

Felix only like Kagami because she was a senti , he barely cared for up until Emotion. He only spent a couple of hours with her before snapping everyone away and then decided he loved her. If Kagami wasn’t a senti , he wouldn’t have taken interest in her and snapped her away without caring. The last reason why I dislike Feligami is that it feels forced . The sole reason why the writers gave Felix a love interest is to make him look more redeemable. Kagami is one of the show's more loved characters ( from season 4 at least) and making her and Felix get together was for the purpose of making Felix more likable. To conclude , Feligami is a cute idea but the execution of their storyline was done badly. They fall in love despite barely knowing each other and Kagami forgives Felix way too easily after knowing his story. If you like Feligami though , that's perfectly fine.

Representation mess

This episode made me lose most of my respect for Felix as a character (I can hear the Felix stans typing 😂😂). The first reason why this episode wasn’t well written is how Felix approached Ladybug. When performing his cringy play (which turned out to be pointless) he asked for Ladybug help without uttering a single apology for everything you’ve done to her. He SA’ed Ladybug and gave her trauma by stealing the miraculous but still had the audacity to request assistance without saying sorry. Isn’t he ashamed of himself or feel any guilt ?

He also sought Ladybug's aid not because he wanted to free Adrien from Gabriel , not because he felt bad about what he did in Strike Back and wanted to seek forgiveness by teaming up with Ladybug to help her defeat Monarch but because he wanted to love his girlfriend freely. He only helped Marinette , gave her the information she needed because it benefited him . This isn’t a bad storyline for an anti-hero. An anti-hero only works for himself but the reason why this storyline failed is because the narrative pushed Felix to be some sort of hero. His moments with Kagami make him look like a good guy and the backstory made Felix sympathetic.

The moment where Felix explains why he stole the miraculous felt more of a justification portraying Felix as someone who is innocent and hasn’t done anything wrong. He is sympathetic and tragic but isn't exactly a good person either so the part where he justifies what he did and the narrative portraying him as a hero felt like bad writing.

Another thing that bothers me is the inconsistency of Felix creating a sentimonster which is a projector. He said in Pretension he refused to create another senti just for him to abuse them , control them and snap them out of existence when he’s done with them.

However , after Mari wakes up , she sees a feather which we could assume means Felix has snapped it out of existence when he was done with it. The annoying thing is that this could’ve been avoided if Felix wasn’t a coward and went up to Ladybug , APOLOGIZE for what he did , says he wants to help her defeat Monarch and tell him everything he knows. Man up Felix ! The least he could’ve done was give the senti its freedom instead of killing it. However in defense of Felix , he did tell Ladybug about Adrien being a senti which redeemed him somewhat , but the info on Monarch's identity was pointless and the information Felix revealed was barely used in the finale until the Adrienette kiss scene. Overall this Episode made me lose most of my respect for Felix's character because the writers try so hard to portray Felix as a hero or a good guy when clearly he still is the same as before. He still has villain like tendencies that are never addressed and this episode really swept all of his bad deeds under the rug.

Why his redemption doesn’t make sense

During the epilogue of the finale - he seemingly is chilling at the Agreste mansion and spends time with Kagami - eyeing her cutely. However the most insulting thing about the finale is when Felix seemingly joins the team confirming a redemption arc (pls don't kill me Felix stans🙏🙏). He is pretty much forgiven for his crimes and faces no real consequences. Well to be fair , he did face a small consequence for mass genocide , he lost control of his power and realized he is no better than Monarch. This is shown when he cries after snapping the red moon out of existence.

However that was the only consequence he faced out of many crimes he committed and he never redeemed himself to Ladybug for killing everyone. Instead he got rewarded with a girlfriend and ownership of his Miraculous despite his identity being known. The reason why his redemption makes no sense is that he never apologized to Ladybug or proved himself that he is a good person. Sure he had good motives and felt remorse a few times but he never said sorry to Ladybug or felt any guilt about helping Gabriel. His abuse under Colt explains his actions but does not excuse them so him seemingly being forgiven by everyone without proving himself just felt wrong. The season 5 finale was a missed opportunity to redeem Felix the right way with him saving Adrien and Kagami from their prisons or him fighting alongside Ladybug against Monarch. Instead he was absent and only showed up in the epilogue. Another problem is that his redemption was rushed , only a few weeks ago he committed mass genocide but now he’s besties with Ladybug and already part of the team , the same team he ruined by stealing all the miraculouses. Did she also forget he forced himself on her ? Felix can do whatever he wants without ever being held accountable or face any punishment. I’m not against a Felix redemption arc if it’s written correctly. His character would’ve been better if he continued to be an anti-hero and is redeemed in later seasons. Therefore , his redemption felt ruined because he basically got away with most of his crimes and was forgiven easily without ever apologizing or feeling much regret. He basically faced no consequences for SA, assisted terrorism , mass genocide , stalking , kidnapping and instead got rewarded .

Final thoughts

To conclude , Felix started off as a great character with layers and complexity but unfortunately got ruined as the story progressed. I don’t hate Felix , his character is fascinating because of his character status as morally gray but like most characters in this show , was a victim of bad writing. His redemption felt disappointing and his relationship with Kagami felt unnatural. I understand his motives (he was doing it for his own survival) but they way he conducted his methods was immoral. He got away with most of his crimes and faced no punishment. Hot take but Felix is one of those characters who’s better off as an anti-hero. He still has so much villain potential which shouldn't go to waste. However I will end this post on a positive note and say not all hope is lost and Felix’s character can be saved in season 6. Going forward , I hope Ladybug and Cat Noir (especially Cat Noir) still are a bit suspicious of Argos and don’t fully trust him despite letting him into the team. Another Unpopular Opinion is that I want Felix to turn on the hero team in future seasons and work with the villains. It’s logical because he never was held accountable or faced real consequences so what is stopping him from betraying the team again ? His character has so much potential and he is unique solely because he is an anti-hero. I hope in Season 6 , his character improves. However these are just my opinions , if you love Felix and agree with how the writers are handling his character , that is perfectly fine . Please stay respectful 😊😊😊 .

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous spoilers #mlb #mlb salt #mlb writers salt #felix fathom #kagami tsurugi #feligami #mlb season five #felix is a victim of bad writing #mlb season 5 spoilers #miraculous season 5 #miraculous season 5 finale #felix deserves better #felix deserves better writing #marinette deserves better #adrien deserves better #kagami deserves better

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azzie-tangerine · 1 year

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📚

OKAY I was really looking forward to doing something with this prompt.

I have a lot, and I mean, A LOT of fic ideas that I just don't ever write. Same applies to drawing. I have a very short attention span and my motivation is like a balance scale. One tip and an idea is likely to be gone for good.

However, I don't wanna pick one that I may end up writing in the future. It's happened before. So I'm gonna talk about a Kirby fic idea I've had since 2020. An idea I really wanted to write at the time, and even hinted towards it in my old One More Week fic. And a fic idea I know I will never NEVER end up writing in the state this idea was in at the time (I will explain why later!)

So, let's talk about my fantasy, Super Kirby Clash-inspired kirfluff au.

It started out as a just insert Prince Fluff into the story au. I did this a lot in 2020. I had a Smash brothers ultimate au with it, a Star Allies one. You get the point. And with Kirby Clash, there's a blue puffball right there. Very easy to just pretend that's Prince Fluff! But slowly I developed it to just be mildly inspired by Clash.

It stars Prince Fluff, who runs away from his kingdom after receiving a prophecy he just can't make out. It's vague, all he knows is that he sees four figures in it. But he can never make out what they look like.

He uses a disguise as a mage to stay on the low, and travels endlessly to figure out what exactly the message means. He hears the Dream Kingdom is well familiar with magic, so he heads there. And runs into Kirby.

Kirby had been raised in the Dream Kingdom all his life, and has been, quite literally, dreaming for an adventure he can experience. So when he hears of Fluff's predicament, he decides to help him! They're later joined by two other characters to fill in the Hammer Lord and Doctor Healmore roles, who I was thinking should be Ribbon and Marx respectively. I love Ribbon as a character and I thought Marx being forced into a healer role when he is very violence driven would be funne.

Bandana Dee and Meta Knight were also big characters! Bandana Dee was actually searching for Fluff, while Meta Knight is the titular mentor character for Kirby and Fluff.

I kinda stopped developing it from there, so I imagine the story just kinda falls back into the clash story. I did imagine a lot of scenarios with Fluff vs King D Mind so it makes sense.

And like I said, I later lost my motivation to continue the story further than the ideas I came up with. I had concepts (that I can't find right now hh), had a whole animatic idea, but I moved on. It happens a lot. I later stopped thinking about a majority of my aus from that time, mostly cause I wanted to be more creative I guess?

But here's where I pull the rug from your guys' feat. Because this story wasn't completely, COMPLETELY forgotten. It was changed heavily, it barley looks like the same idea by now, but I did later use the grounds of this story idea that i was most attached to, and threw it at a different story.

If you know my characters enough, you may have put it together already.

Because I ended up using some bits of this idea to change into my Mirror Prince Fluff character! The mage aesthetic, the runaway plot. A couple of other things. I won't go into complete detail here, mostly because the story I have with Mirror Fluff and Skirby in my head is still very much in the works. I'm hoping to share bits of it some day, if enough people are interested in it.

So uhhh. Moral of the story? Some old ideas can later be used to make something a lot better! I'm a lot more happy with this Mirror Fluff idea than I ever was with the original. While some things had to be dropped (like Ribbon with the massive hammer sadly. And chaotic doctor Marx), I have had a lot more fun developing this one. Story ideas can always be forgotten, but it's okay to look back at those older ideas for inspiration sometimes.

Sorry for the long post anon, I was just really excited to talk about some older fic ideas I've had. Maybe I'll talk about some other ones in the future.

#tangerine.txt #mirror prince fluff #kirby au #kirfluff

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trappedtowers · 25 days

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Trapped Towers Dev History ~ How We Got Here (Part 1)

(Middle art piece done by @/evilredyoshis)

Hey everybody !!

Today I'm going to be introducing another type of post I can end up doing - development history/update posts! These will likely be rarer than other types of posts (after this 3 parter anyway), purely because development on this project is just pretty slow due to my lack of ✨ focus ✨ and all that. However, there is definitely some old development stuff I can talk about! Plus, for those of you who are new - you get to learn more about this project that has been ongoing since early 2018!

So lets get into this, shall we? It's going to be a lengthy read.

February 2018 - August 2020 ~ The Beginning/Undertale AU Era:

February 2018 was a time, by this point I'd spent almost a year making music for my friends and very small audience in the Undertale community. One day, I was simply bored and had no ideas - so my sister told me "hey make an Alton Towers megalo"... how I hadn't done it yet shocked me, I'd been going since 2014 and loved the place dearly. However, with a laugh I agreed and got to work.

A few days into creation, I began theory crafting the basics for an Undertale AU. The first ever concept for what would eventually become Trapped Towers - explains a lot about the name and premise though huh. I eventually uploaded a song or two for the AU, including the megalo I did finish - "Ministry Of Death".

One person found and covered the megalo. Then another. And another. And soon enough the whole thing spiralled - I would consider it to this day my biggest impact on the Undertale Community, even if it was still relatively small and not long lived. Either way, it got me to take the project a little more seriously... but quickly it spiralled into development hell. I was only 14 after all, if you asked me what a leadership style was I probably would have no idea what you were on about or given a dumb answer.

Reboot after reboot was attempted. New server after new server. Eventually though, one server was made and kept. However, the project had already fallen into more obscurity and my motivation was low, so I moved to new things. Every so often a new Trapped Towers post would occur, mainly new Smiler content as that's what really brought in people. Things would stay like that for a bit unfortunately though...

Old Content:

How about some art and concepts from the time though huh? For an Undertale AU it was... something. Tom wasn't called Tom and was literally just called Frisk. The world layout was just Undertale and I just made stuff fit - The Beornen were almost located in X-Sector because of Wickerman being the Grillby replacement. Th13teen wouldn't have really even been in the story as she was Gaster. Half the characters didn't even have designs! People loved Smiler and Enterprise, and any serious work focused on the Ruins portion with Terra. They were still trapped because Nemesis was too dangerous to be let free, however Nemesis was also in a permenant sleep - only prophisised to reawaken. It wasn't an active threat.

(I don't entirely remember who made what here, so I'm sorry for no credits)

OLD SOUNDTRACK LINKS:

Trapped Towers V1 Soundtrack

Trapped Towers V2 Soundtrack

It's all quite funny to look back on. There's so many bits that clearly influenced the project as it is today. Many old designs haven't had drastic overhauls either, which is quite funny to think about... maybe I should get on some...

Anyway, with that brings the conclusion of part 1 of this 3 part blog series. The next two parts will come out day after day, with tomorrow being "August 2020 - June 2021" and Friday being "June 2021 - Present Day". Figured it'd be much easier for reading if I split them into a couple parts !! Also gives me a few extra days to consider what else I want to post haha.

Until then, cya ! - JustDaniel

#alton towers #trapped towers #alton towers au #TT HWGH #I love rambling about anything to do with this project hehehe #Sorry if this is how you found out I was an Undertale fan/still am one

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dunktape · 8 days

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i'm actually blushing kicking my feet smiling stupidly here in my living room watching u guys react to my posts and everything so quickly ouhhh ,, thank you guys so much for the support I HABE 100+ FOLLOWERS ALREADY

a bit of rambling underneath the cut ,,, x'3

when i just started drawing digitally i was just doing tweening animations which didn't get a lot of attention ,, but then i made a new group of friends who i shared my work with — to which one of them introduced me to tumblr !!

have just been snooping around for a year or two , not really interacting with anyone ,, started a mogai / editing blog with my puppyboy — quite exhausting for me actually , but posting was fun , so i went back onto this account

started off pretty slow and also with a few problems — low motivation , pretty sad ,, even then TWO SUPER POPULAR CREATORS reblogged my stuff and im so grateful for that

when i started uploading emotes i actually got so much more attention ??? woah ???? you all just started invading my blog chewing and drooling on everything /silly ,,, and it's been so fun to draw ur requests , answer ur asks , talk to everyone ,,,

the black cat emotes are so silly and cute !!? the yellow guys are so tiny i wanna squeeze them they're so eepy and stupid ,,, /aff

SOMEONE ASKED FOR FENNEC FOX EMOTES ,,, FENNEC FOX ,,, /VERY POS anon whoever you are thank you i almost forgot they existed 🫡🫡 i'm gonna enjoy drawing them a lot

ALSO gonna work on the fnf emotes first ,, ive never drawn these characters but boy am i excited to try !!!

the fact that garfield anon has even NOTICED ME is such an honour ,, what did i do to deserve this orange cat lover on my blog /aff

might draw yippee emotes/gifs too after i finish the other two emote requests !!

overall just thank u guys so much for ur support ,,, im currently going through some things , have been through things that im still trying to process and cope with as well , and my biggest distraction is forms of art ,,, and it really makes me happy to know u guys like my art too , it's comforting even — like i haven't put so much effort into any of this for nothing . bc now it has an actual purpose — to share with u guys . really sorry for the sappiness but really , thank you so so much

#𓈒 evil #just a lot of rambling ....#thank u guys for all the support i genuinely don't know what to say #( ← “doesn't know what to say” writes a whole post going into detail about how much i appreciate all of this )

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yinastra · 2 months

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✩ ✩ Welcome To My Dreamscape. ✩ ✩

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅

Introductions - ✩

✩ - Hello. You can just call me Yin. I'm asexual. I want to create a space where people can enjoy themselves. My pronouns are she/her. I've never used Tumblr before, so please bear with me while I try to get a grasp of things.

Notes - ✩

✩ - I am not taking requests at the moment. I'd like to get a few pieces out first.

✩ - I am a minor, currently around the 13-16 age range. Please keep this in mind, and if in any way you are uncomfortable, feel free to click off.

✩ - I will try to update this post as often as possible.

✩ - My first language isn't English, so I apologize for any mistakes I may make.

✩ - I will likely only post and update on weekends.

✩ - Again, I'm still learning, so please be patient with me. I'm sorry for any inconvenience.

About the Writer - ✩

✩ - I enjoy reading a lot, and writing has been one of my passions since elementary. That said, my writing isn't amazing quite yet, and I've been working towards getting better.

✩ - My favorite flavor of things are salty. Sometimes they can hurt my tongue, though.

✩ - I enjoy drinks like watermelon Arizona, teas, and soda.

✩ - I am currently in multiple fandoms. Those being(But not limited to):

✩ - Jujutsu Kaisen

✩ - Genshin Impact

✩ - Honkai Star Rail

✩ - Hunter X Hunter

✩ - And more (That I've probably forgotten)

✩ - I love Xiao. (That's it)

Request Information - ✩

✩ - I will be writing angst and fluff, however please do not request smut. I am not comfortable with writing anything of the kind at all at this time.

✩ - At this time, I am only writing Character x Reader. If the request does not have any specified pronouns or gender, then I will use gender neutral terms.

✩ - Please be patient with me. Sometimes my motivation can run low.

✩ - I will be writing things like scenarios, oneshots, headcanons, etc.

✩ - I will be writing only for Genshin Impact and Honkai Star Rail characters at the moment. If you'd like to request another fandom, feel free to (when requests are open) and I'll see if I can.

Ending Notes - ✩

✩ - Any tips are appreciated while I'm still learning how to navigate the app.

✩ - I hope you enjoy yourself.

✩ - Have fun.

#yinastra #intro post #introduction #genshin #genshin impact #x reader #requesting rules #honkai star rail

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cha1cedony · 8 months

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Okay fine I’ll do one of these (because I like to talk about myself hehehe). Thanks @roboobin for tagging me B)

A very long ‘get to know me’ post below…

Last song: Apparently it was ‘Two Time’ - Jack Stauber, according to Spotify? I’ve also been relistening to a few tracks from Falsettos all day, for some reason. ‘I’m Breaking Down’ got stuck in my head somehow. I’m not super big on musical theater, but I LOOOOVE Falsettos and especially Trina :) You can probably tell I have a certain type of favorite characters/media lol.

Favorite color: Light greyish blue (or white, grey, silver, orrrr light greyish green?)

Last movie: I actually have no idea. Maybe Nimona with my IRLs a few months ago? I almost NEVER watch movies in full because I get bored of them easily. Sorry I know that’s so lame lololol

Currently watching: A commentary YouTube video to use as background noise while I do my writing assignments lol. Like I said, I don’t really watch a lot of movies or TV :/

Currently reading: Nothing, unfortunately! I haven’t read any books/stories in an embarrassingly long time :( I am so ridiculously busy and haven’t had the time/motivation to read and get invested in new characters. I have a bunch of series I want to reread for nostalgia purposes, though. I’m also strangely tempted to read the Animorphs series? LOL. I looked it up on AO3 for the first time a few months ago while in the kids’ section of the library with my IRLS and we were assessing the popularity of kids’ books based on the amount of AO3/Wattpad fics (btw, there are a shockingly low amount of Geronimo Stilton fics in the world). I wasn’t expecting there to be an Animorphs fandom, but there IS? And the fics are really GOOD even though I don’t know the source material? Anyway. Tempted to read it because I like putting teens in situations /lh. Also I want to read more short stories! Send me recommendations, if you have any.

Last thing I googled: This is so embarrassing. ‘Bathroom cruising’ LMAOOOO. I was just writing a funny bit, but I wanted to make sure it was accurate, okay? T_T Other recent searches include my voice lesson Lieder, various areas I’ve felt pain recently (because I’m a hypochondriac /lh), and a vlog I had to watch for my job… I was writing an article about it.

Sweet/spicy/savory: Savory. Every time. I love savory foods, and they’re basically the only types of food I ever crave. Then I would go with spicy, but only if it’s spicy in a flavorful way (and not just a painful way). I don’t like sweet foods except for chocolate—and, even then, I am infamous among my friends and acquaintances for only liking SUPER dark chocolate… like 70% cocoa or more. I would say my favorite flavor profile is bitter! :)

Current obsession: I think y’all already know :^) I am incapable of having more than one strong interest at once, soooo DnDads has quite literally been occupying my brain since liiiike October 2022… almost a year ago now! o_o Holy shit. I’ve been really busy with work and school in the past month or so, so I haven’t done basically anything else in my free time. I’d like to start cross stitching again because I have some projects to finish, and I got some of my late grandmother’s jewelry-making supplies recently, so I’ll toy around with that, too.

Currently working on: Like, right this second? Discussion post replies for my Writing in Digital Environments course :p In general? As far as hobbies go, the beginnings of my next longfic chapter! As far as work goes, I’m working on article about a mural. I have to drive like 30 mins to get a features image for it tomorrow ugh. At least I get to kill time on the clock :’)

I don’t want to tag anyone in particular, but, obviously, if you want to do this, you can just say I tagged you. Shhh I won’t tell ;) hehehe

#chalcy stuff #if you read all this you get.. uhh idk #a high five #🖐️#tag game

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littlerose13writes · 2 years

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hello :)

I feel like I’ve left this so long it’s weird now… but I’m v sorry for the radio silence and disappearing from both this account and my Instagram for all this time. It feels a bit presumptuous to even expect enough people to have noticed I wasn’t here to warrant this post, but I can see some absolutely lovely messages checking in and will reply to those shortly, thank you!

I won’t go into a big spiel but the long and short of it is that 2022 has not been a great year for me. I’m struggling with my physical health a LOT and it’s had a huge impact on my mental health too, combined with a job that I do love but has been a huge source of stress for the past few months, I have reached lows I have never even got close to before. I’m doing a bit better now and have a lot of healthy strategies to get me through, but that doesn’t do anything for the physical heath issues I’m still experiencing and unfortunately I’ve not even been able to open my laptop for weeks let alone think about writing. I’m so so sorry to have left shab for so long at such a moment; I was hoping to make this post when I could also say ‘oh and chapter 24 is finished now’ but that’s not true yet. I’m taking a well-deserved holiday this week, my first proper one in three years, and really am hoping to get my writing motivation back and enough spoons to finish the story. There’s 30k words I’ve had written for over a year now sitting in my Google docs waiting to be posted! So soon there will be an update!

I have a small dilemma I hope you can help me with and that is that I don’t know what to do about Spellbinder. I embarked on that project when I was quite literally medically high lol (I’m telling you it’s been a year🤪) and I 100% will never be in the place again to finish it, I’m not sure whether to leave it up with a note explaining I won’t be coming back to it or take it down altogether? Sorry to all the people who recently started following me just for that fic!

Anyway all this to say, thank you for being so patient with me, I’m still here and still wanting to write. I have an original novel I want to get cracking with as soon as shab is complete and I know I can do it - thanks to everyone who has stuck around this long with me and my writing, I appreciate it so much❤️

#rosie rambles #where have I been

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royallyprincesslilly · 1 year

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Hi ! Sorry to pop out of nowhere like that but I wanted to ask what keeps you motivated to write ? Because I've been writing for a few months but the more time goes by, the less motivated I feel.

People rarely interact with me, they just like and scroll. I'm trying to engage interactions but it doesn't work like that. I feel like I'm pouring my entire soul and energy in my writing but I don't have get much in return. I really don't know how I should feel. Sometimes, I'm wondering if my writing is the problem. I don't know. You're kind of a popular writer around here so I wanted to have your opinion or advice on the subject. If you don't mind of course.

Sorry for the long rant 😓

Hey anon.

No, you're good, no need to apologize. I am sorry it took so long to reply to this I didn't forget and I wasn't ignoring it. I get asked this a lot and I just wanted to compose something thoughtful and honest and hopefully helpful. Buckle in this will be long. I apologize in advance.

Honestly, I understand your feelings on this. I can understand it gets really hard to write when interaction is minimal. I can understand that it makes you feel like what's the point and make you want to stop or even doubt your ability to write well even when you feel like you are putting everything into your writing. I know so many people who feel this exact way and I get it.

So here we go. The advice I can give, and I hate to give it because in no way do I feel like I am qualified to give any (that damn imposter syndrome is a bi*ch🥴), is instead of writing with an expectation to get something back i.e interaction, likes, reblogs, popularity, etc, write for YOU. Write every single day, write everything you can, especially things outside your comfort zone, and genres you would be normally, try new ways of writing because through that you get stronger and better and your ideas also get stronger and better.

The one thing many don't realize is that most and probably all writers whether indie, traditionally published, freelance, or hobby go through this. Either their work isn't picked up for traditional pub, or their indie work gets such low to no sales, or their hobby writing gets little to no hits. It's a rite of passage I've learned. It is also a test to you not only as a writer but of your character and drive. either one quits and moves on or they say hell no and push forward.

For me, it means I can't just give up on it and mope because of it. If writing is truly something you (and to be clear, I use you loosely and generally, it is not pointed at you) love and wish for as a career you have to push forward through it, you have to develop really tough skin and a seriously strong neck to keep your head high and in the direction of your end goal.

When I started writing on here when the 1st Black Panther movie came out (holy hell it's been such a long ass time) my writing didn't blast off and I didn't gain tens of thousands of likes or readers who interacted regularly by liking and reblogging right away, it took time. There was no instant gratification. In fact, it took a lot of work, dedication, consistency, and effort into developing a way to set myself apart from other writers because there are a lot of us on here.

Nevertheless, for me, writing has never been primarily about interaction and things of that sort. It's been about sanity and finding a way to keep sane in this world as well as escape a little through my worlds and characters. I don't write on here and post for anyone other than me. I've found a way to let all the other stuff fall to the wayside because it will mentally trap you and make you go on this endless loop

And I know this is so much easier said than done. I get it completely. It does take time and work to change your mindset and not allow the things you mentioned to bog you down. I know the work and introspective it takes and it's hard. Yet, it is worth it.

I stay motivated because it is still fun for me. Writing is still something that doesn't feel like a job, it is something I can always depend on to get me out of a bad mood or lift my spirits when I'm not feeling my best. I stay motivated because my head still produces the ideas and it is still exciting to plot out worlds and characters who are assholes, angels, and everything in between and I still have plenty of stories to tell that I know no one else will be able to tell like I can, in the way I can, and the way I envision it.

The same is true for your writing. You have a story to tell in your way and you should write it and share it because no one will tell it like you. No one has the ability to. I doubt that your skill as a writer is the problem. That is always our go-to intrusive thought that maybe our skill is subpar or the content is not engaging enough to capture the readers. If you feel that way truly find someone you trust on here or in RL who can serve as a neutral reviewer and have them provide constructive criticism.

Push forward. I like to hold on to the saying "Build it and they will come". It's stupid but it applies to writing, write it and the readers, etc will come. It may take time but it will happen.

Also, think of it this way a like is an interaction too. Yeah, we may want paragraphs of praise or thoughts and feedback on if it was good and j get it, but a like can also be someone's way of saying "I enjoyed this, I have no thoughts that are worth sharing but I read it and enjoyed it." I know it is the bare minimum that can be done but it is something.

I am all about looking at the small victories these days, the small accomplishments, small gestures, etc. It can help.

I hope this was helpful and it didn't come off preachy, harsh or condescending because it absolutely wasn't meant that way at all.

#ask lee #lee answers #writing advice #writer struggles #writers problems

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once-in-a-blood-moon · 1 year

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Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s going into Nightbringer with like only HALF of the obey me story and lore (all of which I’ve scrounged up from episode summaries, fun fact posts, occasional screenshots, and fanfics)! Listen, the reason I didn’t play obey me is because I literally could NOT get it to load…like it would take 5 WHOLE MINUTES PER LOADING SCREEN, and that’s even with all the graphic settings and stuff on low, and it wasn’t my WiFi or data bc everything else internet-related worked smoothly. Like yeah Nightbringer still has more loading screens than what I’d normally put up with, and they all take at least 30-90 seconds, which again would make me quit any other game, but I’m so outrageously happy that I can even get PAST the opening screen of Nightbringer, I tolerate it all anyway because it feels good to not feel left out of the fandom lmao! that’s how much Obey Me lowered my standards for any future games😭!

I'm only on lesson 52 in SWD, so yeah I'm with you. Like the battles are so difficult, but IN MY HUBRIS I only leveled up the same three cards until I got to lesson 21 and was like... oh, and now I'm playing catch up with my other cards and throwing glow sticks at the characters any chance I get. Not only that, but I tend to lose focus/motivation while I do anything, so then I just stop playing sometimes even though I want to continue.

Also, sorry to hear that your game wasn't working for you. It's been slow on me on occasion, but it's usually because of my internet or when events are happening and I assume it's because there's a lot of traffic (if that's how this even works lol). But yeah, Nightbringer loads way faster than SWD which I appreciate.

And hey, glad you're in the fandom! You don't have to know the ins and outs of the game to be part of the fandom, as long as you enjoy it and are having fun then what's it matter? And you're more than welcome to talk/ask about lore here (or just anything really), even though I'm not completely caught up either! :)

#hopefully one day the og game will work for you!!#blood moon mail

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bubblegumlefty · 2 years

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So... I'm just gonna vent for a moment.

I've been having such a hard time continuing my fic Music To My Ears lately. Not just because of potential burn out, but because of the lack of communication. I'm not just talking about going viral and stuff, I'm talking about basic communication. It's just when I go on the front page of the WWE tag and see fics being posted like Rk-bro and the sheild, which are obviously much more popular ships, I know it's naturally going to have a hell of a lot more traction than my little ship could ever muster, and for good reason too since they're so popular with the fandom.

Am I jealous? Possibly. And I feel terrible for it. But I just feel so discouraged sometimes. I get no communication. At all. Haven't in months. I'm at least 30 chapters deep into this fic so far, with at least 17 published. I absolutely love what I'm writing and want to share it around, but it feels like nobody really seems to be interested. I can't even keep a regular schedule to update the story because I gotta wait for my BETA to review my chapters first. Then I gotta rewrite said chapters from the ground-up with beta inclusions intact. It's obviously not her fault. She has a very busy and difficult job to pay attention to and I really appreciate everything she's done for me so far. I'm just too afraid of asking too soon for another chapter update so I end up waiting at least a month before I start asking, which also feels terrible and just anxiety inducing. I really don't want her to push herself into completing the work. I just wish things were a little more consistent.

And then there's the story itself. Side plots that I felt were awesome at the time now feel bland or cliched, not to mention potentially somewhat tonedeaf in retrospect, which was not my intention at all. All I wanted was to give a ship some more love and share it with others, but it seems that because it's so obscure, people aren't really interested or don't seem to know about it. I can't even ask for input anymore since the few others that were kind enough to give it are either too busy with far more important things or are just no longer around.

It's just so upsetting. Sometimes I feel like I should just give up writing all together. Cause what used to be fun and self-indulgent for me has now turned into an unrewarding chore to keep up with, and I hate that. I know this kinda thing takes time. Like, lots and lots of time. But seeing how it's been literal months since I recieved any sense of communication/traction for the work I put out, it just makes me question if it's even worth it to continue writing anymore if neither I or nobody else seem to be interested. I don't know how others are able to put up with it. Like yes, I get "hits" but what good does that really do? It just shows me that there are lots of silent readers out there. Or maybe they're just duplicated clicks at this point, I don't know.

So yes, I know I'm being very selfish and self centered, whatever you wanna call it, but I'm sorry. Writing just feels so unmotivating and unfulfilling right now, and I'm trying real hard to keep from calling it quits for good, cause I really don't want to quit. I've gotten this deep into the fanfic community and I can't just give up. All I want to know is how are people able to get traction and vocal communication on their stories, and if not, how are others so patient with it? It feels like my writing hobby is just about ready to die, and it just makes me feel so low for feeling that way. And taking a break doesn't help much either since my brain just constantly reminds me of needing to finish the fic. I've even put off fan-art and live-blogging to work on it and complete it. And it's been hell.

I don't even know anymore. I just really need some motivation and encouragement right now.

#wwe #world wrestling entertainment #wwe fanfiction #wwe fanfic #lefty's fanfic #fanfic update #music to my ears #j/e ship #archiveofourown #archive of our own #ao3 stuff

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artificial-horizon · 11 months

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assorted post-atc test day ramblings and blogging ahead (sorry idk how to do a readmore lol)

The past few days have been so unforgettable I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all... I literally feel reborn, like a totally new person starting a totally new chapter of life! I haven't felt this happy in a long time, that sort of happiness that's mixed with so many other intense emotions and makes your head spin a little (my favourite). I mean the day of testing was absolutely brutal, like nothing I've ever experienced before, but honestly it was so invigorating - and definitely very motivating after passing everything lol. I'd been having some serious doubts about whether I could do it, feeling like my weird brain would sabotage me and prove that I wasn't cut out for the only dream job I've ever had, so yeah lmao I did quite enjoy the ego massage of doing really well and not even finding the tests super difficult.

Outside of the testing there was so much that was just... intoxicating in the best way. Travelling solo for one, cos I think that's one of the greatest things on earth, but really it was the people that I met that just filled me with such a feeling of, well, I guess love? As an aromantic I struggle with the idea of love, but personally this is my equivalent; a love of humanity and human connection and sharing the same experiences while coming from such different backgrounds. It's probably inevitable that you'll bond if you're thrown into a room together to do ridiculously intense assessments all day, but genuinely I've never felt so excited and chill and myself around literal strangers like I did this week. There's always so much hiding when you're queer/trans/brown/ND in majority cishet/white/NT spaces, but there was something about being around other people with the same weird niche interest that was fucking liberating.

I mean, this was the first time I've ever met other people (especially other people of my own age!) who are also nerdy about not just aviation, but air traffic control specifically - like, in day-to-day life you talk about this stuff and most people are like "ummm okay u do u", but holy shit... to be able to infodump to people who are also interested in the very same thing and ACTUALLY WANT a conversation about it is incredible! (Which yeah, is sort of sad when you think about it cos what a low bar, but society is just anti-autistic like that ig.) We just *got* each other on that level, and makes me hunger even more than I already did to be in this world because this really fucking proves to me that this is where I belong tbh.

There's also something so electrifying to me about random brief connections like this, when you know you'll probably never see them again (aside from the other people who got into the next stage of interviewing, ily cya in a few months!). Definitely not the first person to say this, but there really is a level of honesty and openness that this kind of experience creates that is legitimately beautiful to me. We spent hours partying together and sharing so much conversation, no small talk in sight, just learning about each other. The next day I was hopping from city to city with this one guy as we tried to navigate our way to the airport (there was a storm that had shut down almost all transport) and even that, although stressful, was a fucking adventure and I really sort of loved it and we got pretty deep into some fascinating chats. And like I literally asked some random people if I could take the last seat in their Uber cos I overheard they were going to the airport too, and that is not something I EVER thought I could do as someone who's often too scared to approach people in public lol.

Depression has been telling me for the past year that I'm not capable of shit, so this was the biggest and best fuck you to that because oh my god I actually CAN!!!! I can do shit!!!! It may not all seem like much to others, but I'm actually proud of myself and am seriously riding on this high rn. I'm treating this as a new lease on life and I'm gonna keep this energy going as much as I can, because my future is seeming more and more like a thing that will actually happen. I just like... ugh I love all the people I met so much in a way that would probably sound weird if I told them, cos it's not really "love" but just absolute awe at the whole experience and how amazing people can be. Intoxicating honestly is the best word I can use to describe it.

Also literally the first person who said hi to me on the test day was a fellow gay lol, I guess the gaydars of aspiring ATCOs are just that good ;) Anyway onwards and fucking upwards, next stop is the interview and then...? The thought of it is too much I can't even write it down lkjdfsdajkfljkdkjdlkj

#do i have a tag for my own writing/posts idk #i think i need an atc tag on my blog tho for all this nerdiness so #atc #oh and also what i said about being myself n feeling accepted applies to allllllll my avgeek mutuals on here <3 #genuinely appreciate you so much #such a friendly welcoming corner of tumblr that makes me smile every time i log on hehe

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