#THE FEAR I FELT :SOB:

[musicallygt]

i need to stop accidentally queueing stuff to the wrong blog and not finding out until someone interacts with the post somehow

#alex says stuff #THE FEAR I FELT :SOB:

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Brazilian Grand Prix - Jenson Button

#no matter how many times i have seen him kissing the camera i still combust and fall onto the floor every time i see it #JENSE SINGING WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS ON THE RADIO I FELT SO UNWELLLLLLLLLL JENSEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! #AAAAHHHH HES SOOOOOOOOOO YKNOW???? HES SOOOOOOO!!!!!! #ANYWAYS I LOVE BRAWN!!! BEST TEAM!! BEST UNDERDOGS!!! #i fear that i am dreadfully painfully wholeheartedly in love with him.... #god ive not even delved into the pics from this race bcs i think i will melt into the floor and sob when i do #also i am not immune to a man loving and supporting his son sob sob sob ;;; jense and his dad always make me feel so warm #again ty to lemon for pointing me towards the one clip!! #usually these posts are just moments from the main race archive but these all came from 3 dif videos so that was v fun as you can imagine.. #im not quite finished the season yet but i can still commentate on this bcs now the wcc and wdc are tied up #but its wild bcs this season took me longer than the last one but since it had less races it still felt shorter/faster to me somehow #for the midseason i was practically lined up with the current season(i.e. watching Monaco 09 the same week as Monaco 23) #so it was pretty fun to experience both and see the differences(i think i like 2009 better hehehe) but now i have majorly overtook 2023 #jenson button #jb22 #brawn #brawn gp #2009 brazilian gp #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1

[musicalchaos07]

In conclusion, Will Byers makes Mike Wheeler feel braver

#if you can't see the train of thought feel free to fight me #on a sadder note that means the boy felt alone and scared for SIX MONTHS #not featured him projecting all of his fears in s3 #fellas is it gay to say all this to your best friend of ten years #anyways #if we get a “you make me brave Will” moment i will scream #also not featured “you're the heart keep going” #people really think he's straight #mike wheeler i know what you are #I'm gonna go listen to Crazier by Taylor Swift and sob #stranger things #Byler #mike wheeler #will byers

[wayward-wren]

hilda never fails to make me cry everytime I think ill make it through without ugly sobbing it's a lie I will cry

#Wren rambles #Hilda #Hilda season 3 #The way I SOBBED at the end of that finale #It felt like the END #five years ago I watched season 1 as I was getting ready to move out #Now I finished season 3 the night before I'm moving back home #That show essentially bookended my university years and my time in this city #And the themes of growing up and moving on and change hit me so hard #Johanna looming back at her parents sacrificing themselves for her and whispering thank you #The snapshots of johannas memories coming back #The goodbye montage of the parade and everyone #TWIG coming to save the day #All moments that made me Sob #And honourable mention to David pushing through his fears to save Hilda Twig and her dad #What a King I love him so much my boy

[hissterical-nyaan]

.

#don't you love it when you come home during festivals hoping to feel happy and get stress relief from college #but it ends up being more horrible and triggering than even college #cause your family just openly bitches about you and judges you while you're within earshot #repeating all the bad shit that you tell yourself when you're alone #confirming your fears of being the most horrible and inconsiderate person on earth #i feel exactly like I felt some 4-5yrs ago #sobbing on my bathroom floor trying to not harm myself further #it's a lost cause #i will never have a family who will understand #and now guess what I'm so exhausting that telling all this to my friends seems horrible too #there is only one way I'll ever be happy and god I hope its soon #I'm done with healing and trying to make people understand how much I suffer everyday #vent #I'm sorry I have no where else to go #delete later

[bellamyblakru]

bro the way merlin’s go-to way to show the people he loves how magic can be beautiful is with fire manipulation,,, im unwell.

#ashley rambles #merlin #bbc merlin #first with freya and the candles #and then arthur with the dragon #both times it ended with death. like how could this kid not associate showing magic equaling dying in his arms. every fucking time he felt #safe enough to show this side they ALL DIE. WILL. HIS DAD. LANCELOT. FREYA. LANCE AGAIN. ARTHUR. THAT ONE DRUID LADY THAT WAS CHILL #also not to mention how ironic it is that fire was his choice when thats the very thing he was taught to fear. everyone he loved also burned #in situations he no doubt blamed himself for. like will died saving arthur and merlin couldnt save him with magic bc of said prince #merlin could only watch as freya died in his arms sobbing that she felt so loved #lance died for him so he didnt sacrifice himself. merlin was more important than anything to lance and he proved it. merlin watched helpless #as lance decided to take his own life and he was powerless to stop him. to tell him goodbye. to tell him he needed him around #i made a post long ago where i said it was ironic fics make merlin afraid of the pyre when he was one of the few not burned in the end #AND ARTHUR. god. a dragon made of flame?? are you kidding?? can u be more symbolic pls. two of them shown in one simple effortless move #fire was probably a comfort to merlin. its real tangible proof of something being created out of nothing. #it burns and it destroys but it also provides a light in the dark. warmth in the cold. #just like magic. just like him. he can hurt others and himself but he also is such a brilliant light to the world. he is sunshine #and butterflies but he is also the storm needed to understand just how lovely the good is #why am i talking bye

[yeonban]

Yk at this point I might as well write the novella length post I've been meaning to about Dan Heng and how he used to view Jing Yuan vs how he views him now

#muse: dan heng. #The more I look back on the storyline; the more details I find about JY's importance in DH's life from the moment of rebirth til now #It does amuse me tho that DH used to be on the dislike end of the spectrum bc he was always left in the dark about his sentence #but it made me sob when in his voicelines he said that (after a while) he understood that the banishment was actually a mercy given to him #and it's making me so :') to think about how DH was about to leave the Luofu the second JY went to recuperate bc THAT'S #when he no longer felt safe on the Luofu. when JY wasn't around anymore. I may have lost it a bit at that scene I fear #(double that when in Jingliu's quest DH was about to pack his bags and leave again when she told him JY isn't there/is busy w smth else) #like JY went from being sb DH mildly disliked to being sb DH canonly feels /safe/ around and I can't even describe how much that means #The scene above is just one of the MANY reasons why he's warmed up to JY as fast as he did but it's def one of my favorites #JY: I can't guarantee your safety. I hope you can understand #Also JY bless his heart: (joins the fray to guarantee DH's safety against assassins even tho he's still recuperating and barely standing) #Their dynamic is so close to my heart NO MATTER in what light we look at it. And Blu only made my brainrot worse w our plotting

[starheirxero]

HAPPY DAY EVERYONE I am only mildly sorry about not posting a lot today but I got to watch TWO robot movies with my family after all the gifts were gone through so. frankly i was living my best life you see HEUABQJA

#xero says things #they were both really good btw!! #or. well #the second one—chappie—kinda lost me at the end??? #the human consciousness tranfer felt a lil outta nowhere and i have NO idea why they made yolinda's body look like that #but overall still very cute!! i was tearing up at the 'please dont! chappie has fears!' part :((( #BUT THE FIRST ONE. AUGH #FIRST ONE MADE ME AND MY MOM /UGLY/ SOB #it's a newer movie called 'the creator' and MANNNN #the worldbuilding specifically was /so cool/ to me #i don't wanna ramble too much in case anyone here cares about spoilers but genuinely a very very good movie. one of my favorites now tbh #10/10 would watch again tbh

[hella1975]

ladybird was so real for the mum and daughter just violently hurling the most atrocious comments back and forth at each other like a nuclear game of hot potato and the dad just sitting there saying absolutely nothing like 😐👀

#i should rewatch ladybird but i fear my first year uni trauma (literally just last year why does it feel so long ago) when me and my mum #were just perpetually at each other's throats is gonna creep up #literally remember WEEPING to this film during that period bc it had always been a kicker for me bc hello it's LADYBIRD #anyone with a mother is gonna find something in that film that stings a little #but then i went to uni and me and my mum argued on my move-in day to the point we were driving down for the most monumental moment #of my life thus far like literally MOVING OUT OF HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER THIS IS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN #JUST LIKE IM NEVER GONNA BE AT HOME AGAIN PROPERLY and we just were not talking #and my dad was just there in the car like 😐😐 so AWKWARDLY lmfaooo #and it felt so much like ladybird's mum on HER move in day it was A LOT FOR ME OKAY #and we then spent the entire year in THE WORST period our relationship's ever been like WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT #and the whole 'please talk to me mom im bad i know i am and im sorry' GODDDDDDDDD #yeah no actually im not rewatching ladybird #the way that was also the year eeaao decided to come out too. you can imagine my distress #me in my little prison cell of a first year accommodation biting my pillow and sobbing <333 girlcore #my flatmate absolutely heard me. he is stronger than any british army veteran #hella goes home

[mechawolfie]

ok thats vol 10 finished!!! heehee giggle teehee

#smudgy.txt #trigun #trigun spoilers #(in the tags smile) #i was so caught up in The Agony that i forgot trigun maximum is legitimately really well written & worth 100% reading #100% worth reading* #& let my fears scare me away #also ummmm 😊 AAAAAAAAAAAA PAIN PAIN SUFFERING AOUFGHHGHDSGHDFGGF GRAAAAAAAAAA SOBBING THROWING UP #bruh i have not cried like that from a fucking cartoon in a long time. fuck this comic GRRRRRRRRR #fuck this comic for making me FEEL THINGS GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR #like. in the anime yeah it sucked it hurt but it was also more frustrating that sad for me bc it just #didnt make sense & felt so... sudden & odd like it shouldnt have happened or wasnt supposed to #idk how to explain it. #but in the manga its just. perfectly agonizing #like yeah it sucks but it was GOOD....... ARGHHHHHHHH #it was like. a perfect send off. literally will never forget that. what the hell #WHAT THE HELL #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #whimper.

[maehemthemisfit]

mae my favourite person on this whole planet who should have definitely burnt the house down by now !! aaah sometimes i don’t even know where to start? you’ve done a lot for me recently even if you didn’t intend to. i was going through such a rough patch and i was losing all my strength and wasn’t sure if i wanted to keep going. you was one of the very few people who actually checked in on me and showed concern. you listened to me and then proceeded to let me fangirl about the auroras and even after that conversation i cried happy tears because it felt so good to have someone listen to me the way you did - so thank you, especially for checking on me. i think if you hadn’t things would be very different right now.

and also my favourite detective from the dango anon evidence board !! you are so unbelievably funny and smart, i’m also head over heels for your writing, whenever i see it on my dash i just want to eat and consume it <3 you made me feel seen regarding a previous situation when i thought that i would look like a bitch when i confided in you about it and if it wasn’t for you and aly i think i’d still be in that situation today and making myself miserable.

i hope you had a fantastic birthday, little sis but your house does terrify me - 💙

STORMIKFRDMME OFFICALLY CRYING RN JMDNMRUJ YALL I- THIS- EURUFRJDEKM I just wanna hug alll of you and never let go

EUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#no like m actually sobbing #HAPPY TEARS #HOUSE: BURNT HOTEL: TRIVAGO #you can always reach out to me without the fear of being judged or invalidated #whether if you want advice or just want someone to listen i will be here and help you to the best of my ability #and if you don't have the strenght to reach out ill reach out for you. all you have to do is grab my hand #im glad you felt better after talking- honestly i was scared i wasn't helping at all #but reading this really put my heart at ease #ALSO THE DANGO ANON CASE WAS SO FUN #I woke up early just to solve it 🤭 #having everyone work together and point fingers and and!! #it really help me grow comfortable with everyone there #and i gained a lot of friends from it too <3 you being the first to give me that warm welcome #thank you again for the birthday wishes and i hope things has been getting better for you 💖💖💖 love you #its literally so late for you and you're writing me these heart clenching messages ahhhhhsahs #hugging you hugging you #my arms hurt from typing ahhh #this just djuyerhhd #gives me life #im glad my friendship has done so much for people- even if we're all far apart

[ragtimedrakes]

I am paladin now 👍

#vul plays ffiv #imagining cecil crying sobbing etc as he opens another antidote and uses the fifth phoenix down on tellah #because that fucking old man would not stay alive!!! literally I would raise him and hed instantly die again #I had a conga line of everyone using eye drops and stuff on each other to heal all the debuffs #fun fight. I felt fear

[sweeter-changing-hearts]

.

#no but i thinm in the after math of oyr relationship i realized the night i got back to hawaii #i felt my soul crush under the weight of my fear abd despair #i sobbed and heaved my body #i felt i was being ripped apart #and after a while #u just turned over in bed and let me cry alone #????? what the fuck #what the fuck #and when i needed u most u just?? rolled over???? #when i decided to leavs bc i was gonna go out and kill myself any way i could and u were surprised??? after the shitshow last night #my god #i was so scared and i never felt so alone next to a person

[guidingsbolt]

almost definitely will have more thoughts tomorrow but man. will DID it. she's FREE and maybe even HAPPY but it doesn't really matter because she isn't chained down anymore, metaphorically OR literally!!!!

#i'm SO happy she was the one to kill beowulf i'm so so so so happy the math worked out just right #no one died quinn is okay her parents love her the woods are hers and beowulf is DEAD! #she didn't know she could lead the pack until she killed beowulf and then it just Clicked #there IS something right inside her and she CAN direct it in positive ways #taking your anger and drive and instict and using it IS good and it DOES feel good to lean into those things #as evidenced by her romp in the woods pleading emoji #the description was really beautiful.... hannah is GOOD at this she GETS werewolves #for so long will has been about the tension of self hatred and disgust and fear that her letting Go of all that #at least for this full moon #feels CRAZY she's. it's just such a different way of approaching my guy.. #i'm delighted. #i have been doing so much thinking about this for so Long like a YEAR it's crazy that it's DONE... #i'm gonna cry again i didn't have it in me at all DURING the session sob #this turned out way longer than i expected but last thing #the 'there's a curse comes with a kiss the bite that binds the gift that gives' from wolf like me has ALWAYS been my thesis for where #i wanted will to end up and she EARNED it it really felt earned which i'm so proud of and is because of a perfect setup from hannah 🥺 #it's really cool. #ch: will #WAIT i think she's reached barlights too... wow...

[queer-crusader]

Man I've run right out of spoons. Fucking despise shopping. Never again. Goodbye free time for the next 2 weeks now apart from MAYBE the coming weekend, wish me luck lads

#tuesday is gonna be my one comfort day bc i get to commit minor arson and put it out AND i'll be home on time #the arson is paid by work too!! it's part of the safety training i chose to do which has been a fucking BLAST #but yeah after that the best i get is the weekend bc i get to go home to scotland for 3 days #except it's for a wedding near Perth so a) not in Edinburgh and b) idk what my schedule will be or if i get chill downtime or what #man i do love referring to scotland as home tho 🥺 saying im going home just now was like giving myself a wee hug #like i need to do that regularly. reaffirm. how do i feel about Edinburgh? yup - still home ❤️ #genuinely (okay mini tangent here) the first time i returned after being forced to leave everything behind? i was so frightened #i feared i would resent the country for forcing me out. that i would only ever feel bitter again as i wandered its streets and landscapes #except the second i left haymarket station and saw the familiar streets i broke down sobbing #it was still familiar. it was still home. #i felt so fucking much in that moment #scotland has always been a choice. going there. staying there. wanting to build my future there #i had to consciously make that decision every year. even more so when brexit hit #i had to start figuring out what i wanted to do with passports. with residence status. with my future and identity #brexit and politics made me think and choose over and over again. i had to fight to validate my feelings to myself. i battled panic attacks #so yeah. going home to scotland #im still choosing. im still affirming. im still feeling #anne speaks #i really went off topic lmao but ah well fuck it #anyway no spoons left im gonna collapse a bit and maybe do some archaeology in elder scrolls. dig up wee artifacts. vibe

[catullansparrowlet]

Screaming wordlessly into the void in hopes it may unscramble the words I cannot consciously find at the moment.

#You'd think that after listening to a song on repeat for an afternoon one would've been hit by the meaning before #but no #I'm reliving COVID #reliving losing the person dearest to me on the planet #And simultaneously I'm feeling the helpless fear of losing a (gay) loved one during a pandemic the world refuses to take seriously #I want to crawl into the arms of a partner I do not have to feel reassured they are alive #I want the partner I do have to leave and never return #I've never been in this much pain before #and yet I've never felt this hopeful #Sobbing behind my keyboard atm #The human experience is too varied for one person to understand #and yet if I cannot then what is the point of me #God that sounds haughty #I mean to say I feel too small to be at all useful to the world when everyone else is so... precious