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in1-nutshell · 6 months

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Bot Buddy the Autobot who’s unexpected Conjux is Soundwave

SFW, mentions of injury but not specified, platonic, romantic, Cybertronian/ Bot reader

Transformers Earthspark

Autobot Buddy and Soundwave were Conjux Endura shortly before the war broke out, they never made the relationship public. There was too much at risk, especially when tensions on both sides heightened.

Tension between them both rose when discussing which side was better to side with.

“What will it be then? Its clear we both can’t agree on a side. What do we do?”--Soundwave

“… we join different sides.”--Buddy

“What?”--Soundwave

“We join different sides.”--Buddy

“Yes I heard that but—”--Soundwave

“We do that. We pick a side in the war. We stay alive for each other and when someone win, we vouch for the other to come join peacefully.”--Buddy

“…it sounds like a good plan…but what about Us, Buddy? I’m concern on what will happen to Us in this war.”--Soundwave

“Don’t worry. We will be fine, as long as we have the bond, as long as we have each other alive, we will be fine. Just take care of yourself and the mini’s, can you do that?”--Buddy

“I will and…I trust you Buddy… I love you so much, my Spark.”

“I love you too Soundwave… Now and beyond the Allspark.”—Buddy

Buddy went off and joined the Autobot’s and Soundwave and the minicon’s joined the Decepticon’s. Never once telling anyone of their relationship, they promised each the other their safety and they were going to keep it.

Soundwave had set up a private link between them to keep in contact.

“Hey…”--Buddy

“Hello…”--Soundwave

“How was work today? Are you feeling, okay?”--Buddy

“Work was… adequate… and yours?”--Soundwave

“Things are getting harder I’m not going to lie… I miss you…”--Buddy

“…I miss you too…”--Soundwave

“Tell Buddy I said hi!”--Frenzy

“Frenzy!”--Soundwave

“Tell them we all miss them!”--Lazerbeak

“Lazerbeak enough—”--Soundwave

“…”--Ravage

“…”--Soundwave

“…Frenzy, Lazerbeak and Ravage say hello…”--Soundwave

It got harder to keep contact as the war grew longer, especially when both factions came to Earth. Suddenly it was just radio silence from Soundwave. Buddy was upset and concern at the lack of radio response but there was nothing they could do now without drawing too much attention to the both.

“Hey Soundwave? Are you listening? Things have gotten out of control at HQ… its almost funny…”--Buddy

A few days later…

“Soundwave? Are you here? Listen can you give me some sort of sign that your okay? Are the mini’s okay? Please answer as soon as you can.”--Buddy

A few days later…

“Soundwave… please… any sound would do… please just let me know you’re okay… love you, now and beyond the Allspark…”--Buddy

Buddy meets the Terrans and Maltos and they are both delighted and horrified that there’s literal sparkling’s running around with other children in a sketchy base.

“Buddy these are the Maltos and the Terrans I was talking to you about.”--Optimus

“Hi!”--Terrans and Maltos

“…Prime, Megatron, Elita-One… Mind explaining to me why there are literal Sparklings running around!?--Buddy

“Well—”--Megatron

“You know what I don’t. C’mere kids let me introduce myself.”--Buddy

They don’t trust GHOST at all and refuse to wear a GHOST badge. Buddy wears their Autobot badge proudly. They agree with Megatron in advocating for better treatment of “prisoners”. It’s one of the few things they can agree on.

“This isn’t right. Even if they are Decepticon’s, they don’t deserve to be treated like this.”--Buddy

“I agree. Something needs to be done about this.”--Megatron

“…Can’t believe I just agreed with you on something.”—Buddy

Besides agreeing to protect Dot and her family at all costs. They try to visit the Terrans and Maltos as much as possible. It was such a regular occurrence that they got their own bunk in the Dugout.

“Kids? What’s all this?”--Buddy

“Surprise!”—Terrans and Maltos

“Woah! What’s is this?”--Buddy

“Well, you’ve been coming over so much and staying almost regularly now. We all decided to make you your own place here!”--Robie

Yeah, now you don’t have to go back to the base and we can have even more sleepovers!”--Mo

“…”—Buddy

“Do you not like it?”--Thrash

“…”--Buddy

“Maybe it’s the color?”—Nightshade

“…”--Buddy

“No can’t be that.”--Twitch

“Maybe it needs another pillow?”--Jawbreaker

“…”--Buddy

“How about another family portrait?”--Hashtag

“Wait guys hold it.”--Robie

“Buddy? Are you crying—”--Mo

“THIS HAS TO BE ONE OF THE NICEST THINGS ANYONE HAS DONE IN A LONG TIME! I LOVE YOU ALL!!”—Buddy

Things were going great for Buddy. Enough to occupy their mind from the pain in their spark. One mission got them hurt really bad. They refused to go to GHOST for medical attention.

“I’d rather have Starscream scream in my audials for an hour than set a foot near GHOST.”

Now they were at the Dugout fighting to stay conscious. Due to the power of plot convenience, they need a jumpstart their spark, which would be possible if they weren’t bonded. Being bonded meant that the other that was bonded would have to jump them with a shock through their spark bond. Which would be great but Buddy won’t tell.

“Wheeljack what needs to happen? I feel like I’m dying here.”--Buddy

“Dying!?”—Mo/Robie

“Wrong choice of words. My bad kids.”--Buddy

“Well since you’re bonded, that means that your Sparkmate need make the jump with you. So now the only thing we need to know is the Sparkmate.”--Wheeljack

“…Yeah that’s not going to happen.”--Buddy

“What?”--Wheeljack

“Buddy, did you understand what Wheeljack said? You are going to die if your Sparkmate doesn’t come an do the jump. We don’t know who it is, you need to tell us!”--Dot

“…sorry Dot…but like I said, that’s not going to happen.”--Buddy

Buddy made a dumb promise but they are sure going to keep the last thing they had with Soundwave. Optimus, Bumblebee, Arcee, Grimlock, and Elita are trying to remember if Buddy had mentioned their Conjux before in their ranks.

“Lets see… Ironhide?”--Optimus

“Nope.”--Bumblebee

“… Cliffjumper?”—Elita-One

“No.”-- Bumblebee

“Maybe its Jazz.”--Grimlock

“No.”—Bumblebee

“Gears? Ratchet?”—Arcee

“No cant be either of them.”--Bumblebee

“Okay then what’s your idea then?”--Arcee

“…Prowl?”--Bumblebee

“NO!”—Optimus/Elita/Grimlock/Arcee

Wheeljack and Megatron are trying to look through the database of Teletran 1 for any alternative to the medical procedure.

Meanwhile the Terrans are trying to tend to every need Buddy has to the best of their ability.

Robbie and Mo are at both sides of Buddy’s head rubbing it softly as they wince from time to time from the pain.

“C’mon Buddy. Can’t you just tell us?”--Robie

“Please Buddy. Please?”--Mo

“Sorry—urgh—kiddos. No can do.”--Buddy

It’s Alex who brings up the possibility of Buddy’s Conjux not being an Autobot at all.

“I mean what if Buddy’s significant other isn’t an Autobot at all? What if they are human or a Decepticon? Relationship between factions have definitely happened before right?”--Alex

There’s silence and its being considered. Buddy groaning in pain breaks the silence. Megatron heavily considers it, suddenly wondering how many of his own troops entered interfraction relationships.

“No, they—”--Megatron

Suddenly remembers Deadlock and how he would always single out Ratchet in many battles.

“…You know it might be possible…”--Megatron

Megatron asks Hashtag to send a specific message through a cryptic frequency and starts heading out of the Dugout. Dot, Optimus, and Bumblebee follow him, meanwhile the rest stayed to monitor and look for other cures just in case.

Megatron, Dot, Optimus, and Bumblebee reached a clearing a bit far from the house. Not a moment too soon, Soundwave came into view and transformed in front of them deploying Frenzy, Ravage and Lazerbeak standing their ground. The Autobots reach for their weapons, but Megatron tells them to lower them and takes a step forward towards Soundwave.

“Soundwave.”--Megatron

“Megatron. What is the meaning of this traitor?”--Soundwave

“We need your help.”--Megatron

“Give me one good reason to help you.”--Soundwave

“For old time sake, one favor.”--Megatron

“…What is it?”--Soundwave

“We need to know any Decepticon’s who have Conjux Endura’s—”--Megatron

“That is out of the question. You do not have the right to know about their affairs.”--Soundwave

“So, you do know?”—Megaton

“Of course, but I will not tell you.”--Soundwave

“Soundwave—”--Optimus

“Save it Prime!”--Frenzy

Soundwave turns to leave with his minicons, which is when Dot snaps. She wasn’t about to lose a dear friend like this, no not like this.

“Buddy’s dying!”—Dot

This statement stops the Decepticon’s right in their tracks.

“Listen, they don’t have much time. They got hurt real bad last mission. They need their Conjux to help them with the medical procedure.”--Dot

“We don’t know who they are Soundwave. Buddy will not tell us who they are. I will not lose anymore bots when we have a fighting chance. Right now, you are our only way of finding them. Without your help they are going to die.”— Optimus

“Soundwave we wouldn’t be asking you for anything if it weren’t dire. We don’t have the luxury of time because that is something Buddy doesn’t have right now! So, are you going to help or not?”—Bumblebee

The mini’s are looking at their boss in some sort of desperation before Soundwave transforms and agrees to help.

Everyone was ready to move to another location but were surprised when Soundwave asked where Buddy was. That’s when the other realized the shocking truth. Soundwave was Buddy’s Conjux.

They arrive at the Dugout and enter its doors. The Terrans are immediately on guard seeing Soundwave, especially when Buddy yelps in pain squeezing their optics close not knowing who was in the room.

“Freeze!”--Twitch

“Calm down he is here to help Buddy.”--Megatron

“What so is he—”-- Thrash

“Yes.”—Megatron

Soundwave had never felt so much regret of not contacting his Conjux for so long than that moment. He calls to them, this causes Buddy’s optics to snap open in disbelief.

“Buddy…”--Soundwave

“—urgh—Soundwave?”—Buddy

The mini’s came out and started shooing everyone out of the room. Wheeljack gives Soundwave quick instructions on how to do the jump starting before also exiting the room.

Now it’s just Buddy and Soundwave

Soundwave is getting the equipment ready when Buddy calls him over and apologizes for bringing him here where he and the mini’s could get captured. Soundwave finishes setting up the equipment and grabs Buddy’s servo as the process began.

“I’m sorry—”--Buddy

“I apologize—”--Soundwave

“You can go first.”--Soundwave

“I’m sorry for getting you into this mess, you and the mini’s.”--Buddy

“Apology not needed. I should be the one apologizing. If I’d had known… If I had kept in contact…”--Soundwave

“…Can we just forgive each other? I don’t want my last moments here to be just pointless apologizes on childish things we both did.”--Buddy

“You’re not going to die. Not when I have a say in it, my spark. I… I missed you, my spark.”--Soundwave

“I love you too, now and beyond the Allspark.”—Buddy

They both begin talking and catching up on some things. Before they knew it, the procedure had finished, and Buddy was going to make a full recovery.

After the procedure was done, they both walked out servo in servo. The mini’s as it turned out had told the Team a bit about their relationship.

“Yeah, so one time Soundwave thought it was a good idea to fly with Buddy around sunset. But he didn’t know that—”--Lazerbeak

“Lazerbeak.”--Soundwave

“Soundwave! Buddy!”—Frenzy

Everyone there was shocked by the story, but they eventually got over the shock. The longest one to come out of the shock is Megatron. He feels guilty and so blind. How could he not have seen this coming, especially from Soundwave?

Soundwave lets Buddy have one more squeeze before getting the mini’s in his chest compartment. He turns to leave, but he stopped after hearing Dot’s voice.

“You can stay the night here? I think it would be good for Buddy if they knew you were here.”--Dot

“And if you are worried about GHOST, their radar doesn’t come by here. It’s perfectly safe.”—Megatron

He pauses for a minute. Looks back at Buddy and then the setting sun. one night wouldn’t hurt, right? He turns to Megatron stating that if this was a trap, that there would not be a planet he could go to hide from him. With that he swooped in and carried Buddy bridal style and marches into the Dugout as he deployed his mini cons to have fun on the farm.

Meanwhile Soundwave and Buddy cuddled on one of the medical slabs all night long.

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earthstellar · 9 months

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TF Earthspark S1 Episode 21: What it Means to Be Believed -- An Analysis Post

Putting this analysis behind a spoiler cut, as these episodes came out today!

The conversation between Hashtag and Starscream here immediately reminded me of the times I've spoken with abuse victims.

Hashtag: Is this how Megatron treated you?

Starscream: ...You believe me?

Hashtag: I believe he hurt you.

Starscream: You don't know me! You couldn't possibly understand what I've been through!

Hashtag: Then tell me. When bad things happen, it isn't always our fault. There was this Mandroid guy, and he hacked my systems! And I...

So, let's talk about this exchange.

Starscream starts out aggressively just before this conversation, attempting to order Hashtag around.

She declines, and immediately identifies that Starscream's behaviour has likely been informed by prior abuse.

She highlights this in the moment and gets Starscream to notice his verbally aggressive approach by making him realise that he is behaving how Megatron used to treat him-- She does this by using questioning, not by using accusatory language.

This is REALLY IMPORTANT, and is a good approach. When someone is behaving poorly or offensively, encourage them to reflect in the moment by posing a question. It prevents any sense of being challenged, as they are now set up to challenge themselves. "Is my behaviour actually negative? Am I being hurtful?"

This approach is successful, and stops Starscream outright.

It shocks him, to be given the leeway of genuine understanding. This catches him off guard so severely, that we actually get a totally honest reply from him. "You believe me?"

Which is a really significant moment, because Starscream is constantly subject to being, essentially, assumed evil. The other bots often see his negative behaviour and lashing out in a very surface-level kind of way; They don't further investigate or try to think about why, exactly, Starscream is like this.

We don't know how he used to be, before the war or during the war, in this continuity quite yet. But it is heavily implied that a lot of his current behaviour is informed by trauma, and some of that trauma very clearly stems from his prior relationship with Megatron.

Starscream is genuinely surprised that anyone is willing to look past that surface level and actually think: Why is he like this? Where is this behaviour coming from?

Hashtag rightly identifies that what Starscream is saying and how he is saying it is very reminiscent of commanding language; She knows Megatron was his superior officer during the war. She knows Starscream has a poor relationship with Megatron. She knows that as a lower ranked Decepticon, he likely was subject to at least some mistreatment, and that mistreatment is echoed in his "taking command" approach here.

Because to Starscream, "taking command" means being aggressive and controlling. It means using intimidation and belittlement to stay on top.

And Hashtag rightly assumes that this is likely because this is how Megatron did it.

This is how Megatron treated him.

Of course, Starscream responds defensively, as anyone might expect.

It hurts to become aware that you are mirroring harmful behaviour, that you are acting out your hurt on others in a way that hurt was inflicted upon you, and Starscream understandably retorts by claiming that of course, Hashtag doesn't know him-- Or, it is implied, his past.

He is trying to protect himself or instil a sense of control over the conversation by creating distance, while also trying to work up some defensive anger in himself-- How presumptuous of her, to assume!

Except, she's right. And he knows that.

So instead of throwing a fit, he listens when she continues.

Hashtag does two very correct things here:

First, she lets Starscream know that she encourages him to talk about it. She's willing to listen.

Second, she offers some support by starting to talk about her own experience of being abused-- When Mandroid took away her self-agency and assumed control of her.

This is a good and fairly common way that abuse victims tend to offer support to one another; It's often encouraged in certain types of group therapy or support sessions for people to share similar experiences, or experiences that evoked similar feelings, when it's appropriate and beneficial for those present (including the speaker) to do so.

She is attempting to reinforce to Starscream that even though she might not know his pain, she knows her own-- By sharing that trauma with him and being vulnerable herself, that might provide a connection point for them both and could possibly encourage Starscream to open up a bit to her.

This is roughly where the conversation is interrupted, so we don't get to hear Starscream's response.

But I think Hashtag intuitively had a very good approach here: She identified a traumatised person lashing out in a way that was familiar to them but harmful to others, in a way that is indicative of potential prior abuse, and made an effort to provide a safe opportunity for Starscream to talk it out without any fear of repercussions.

She made sure Starscream knows that she is listening and paying attention to him.

She made sure Starscream knows that she believes him, that he does have someone willing to hear his side of the story and genuinely take him at his word.

And that is immensely important; It is common for abuse victims and traumatised people to attempt to self-isolate or lash out, and she saw through Starscream's behaviour here for what it was: An abused person lashing out, trying to close off, behaving in hurtful ways that reflect the hurtful ways they were treated as a defence mechanism.

Starscream needs someone like Hashtag, who won't judge him based on preconceived notions of who he was as a Decepticon, who is willing to listen and give him an opportunity, who is willing to counter his withdrawal by providing honesty and letting him know that she wants to keep the conversation open and give him the space to speak freely about his hurt.

I also especially like that she makes a point of mentioning that we are not at fault for how we are hurt by others. We're not always in control of how we feel, or how we express our feelings.

She doesn't blame Starscream for lashing out. She gets it.

Alleviating Shame: It Is Not Your Fault

Hashtag had her autonomy violated in a very serious way, and although it's not the same thing, Starscream as part of a militarised faction and command structure lost a lot of his autonomy to his service under Megatron-- You don't get to walk away if you're second in command, assuming he held that same position in this continuity for most if not all of the war.

Hashtag is forced to deal with what Mandroid did to her, and Starscream is forced to deal with how Megatron treated him.

Neither of them had any say in what happened to them, or what was done to them, or how it hurts afterwards.

Hashtag knows she has support from her family, but who does Starscream really have? The other fliers, sure, but to what degree? How much support does Starscream really get from anyone, ever?

By letting him know she's been hurt too, even though she didn't get to finish her sentence, she's let him know that he's not entirely alone.

By making the point that nobody can be responsible for what others do to them, Starscream is told outright-- possibly for the first time--that the way Megatron treated him is not his fault.

Internalised Blame: Guilt and Failure Under Megatron's Command

Starscream may very well blame himself, to some degree; We don't know exactly how he's internalised anything, but we do know that Starscream was reasonably high ranking, and was in that command structure for most of the war.

In most militarised ranking structures, it is often the case that officers are considered responsible for errors, mistakes, losses etc. that may fall under a branch of their command which are many times realistically somewhat beyond their ability to control.

This can be a significant source of internalised blame for a lot of former military officers or even military personnel in general; "We lost X soldiers/civilians/etc. and it was my fault" is not an uncommon sentiment, even when realistically it is no single individual's fault and certain circumstances or occurrences are beyond anyone's control.

Megatron likely came down hard on Starscream for any losses, whether it was territory, soldiers, or anything else. He likely came down hard on Starscream for just about anything, after a certain point.

It's entirely possible that Starscream started to internalise these situations as personal blame, as both a result of serving in a war where officers are held ultimately accountable, and as a result of Megatron's treatment of him in general.

He may not have been able to separate "challenges experienced as a commander" and "personal failings" after a while.

And any further/prolonged abuse from Megatron would have only compounded that trend of internalising anything and everything as blame, failure, his own fault-- Not as an officer, but as a person-- Even if it explicitly could not have been.

Emulating Harmful Behaviours: Identify, Understand, Address

This would go some way to partially explaining why Starscream starts to exhibit this aggressive, commanding behaviour; He ends up likely unintentionally emulating Megatron's harmful leadership style, because he sees Megatron as being successful and powerful and in control, while he feels as though he is the opposite in every way.

Abuse has a tendency to make people feel less-than. It can remove people's sense of agency and confidence. It can make people think that their personal traits or inherent elements of their self are suddenly no good, that they could have done something or should have done something, if they were "better".

This is one way that abused people can sometimes start copying or reflecting harmful behaviours from their abusers; They don't know what else they can do. They may be disconnected from themselves to the degree that adopting these behaviours seems like the only "right" option, because it's the only thing that makes people back off, that makes them have that sense of strength or control that their abuser has stripped from them.

I say this a lot in some of my posts, but it's important to remember that while a behaviour may not be OK, we do need to understand.

It's important to recognise this type of repeating back prior experienced abuse, and to not dismiss people who may be hurt when they are lashing out or copying abusive behaviour-- It's important when safe and appropriate to do so to identify this is happening, to make an effort to understand it, and help the person do the same. That's when addressing internalised abusive behaviours can start.

This can take a lot of work, therapy, support, etc. to start identifying, let alone start addressing it-- But it's very possible for abuse victims to restore their sense of self and regain confidence in their capability and identity.

When abused people reflect back prior abusive behaviours that they have experienced, this does not make them a bad person. It means they have been abused, and they may need help to realise they are doing this, and may need help to identify why in a safe way, and may need help to start actually processing trauma in a healthier way for themselves and others.

Hashtag has opened a door for Starscream in more than one way, in this episode.

She's giving him a chance to do this.

She's helping him identify his harmful behaviours, she's acknowledging that he feels bad, that he was made to feel less-than, in ways that she might not have experienced herself-- But she's experienced similar feelings if not the same exact situations, and she's willing to share her own trauma with him. Hopefully he feels he can share with her, too.

I've spoken with plenty of abuse victims, and it's common to hear "You weren't there, you don't know!" or similar retorts when attempting to encourage conversation around some sensitive or traumatising memories or experiences.

It's not always appropriate to provide one's own traumatic experiences in response, but in cases where it is safe and appropriate to do so, I have rolled up my own sleeves and shown my own scars. I have talked about my own traumas as a way of showing support and as a way of showing someone that even if their individual experiences were unique, the feelings they experienced were not, and those feelings can provide a common ground and help provide a point around which to help build rapport. It can also help provide perspective, external to themselves, which can be ultimately positive.

It can also be a show of good faith: I'm not going to judge you. I believe you. I have been hurt, too. Our situations are different, but the way we were made to feel at times was similar.

When appropriate, this can be a pretty effective way to help someone open up about things that are potentially very hard to talk about, or to discuss feelings that are very complex or "tangled" in a way that takes some work to sort out in a healthier, safer way.

Hashtag offered her own traumatic experience to Starscream here, as a way of hopefully meeting Starscream halfway.

And hopefully, it was at least to some degree successful.

So I think Hashtag did a great job in this scene, and I hope we see Starscream take this opportunity that has been afforded to him to give the Malto Bots a chance...

...And to give himself a chance, as well.

----

This is entirely unedited as I continue to watch the episode, as I just got home from work, but I hope it was interesting to someone! :)

#tfe spoilers #earthspark spoilers #spoilers #tfe starscream #tfe hashtag #long post #analysis post #maccadam #maccadams #tw abuse #tw abuse mention #starscream

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