#The gloves were what really sold it for me haha - everything else was a very happy alignment but red gloves! Yes

[scripts4dreamers]

I literally JUST sat down, pt. 1

Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven

AN: Nuh uh, nope. Not this again. You did not sign up for this.  Characters: Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, Jennifer Jareau, David Rossi. Pairings: Spencer Reid x reader Spoilers: None Warnings: Mentions of crime and violence, alcohol, eventual NSFW content

Prompt: After watching 7x07 “This episode is so scary man... Imagine just doing your job which is pretty morbid at times but oh well and then suddenly you have to go to this place where there's a lot of tornadoes and you're like well at least I'm inside and safe and then your boss is like "we gotta go right to these tornado places lol" and then you think "well that's scary but at least we have this handy dandy live map showing us exactly in real time where the tornadoes are so we'll be fine and then the internet is like "haha nope have fun dying in a tornado" 

- @pirateismywayofspeaking​ who is a literal genius.

This will be a multichapter piece! So lemme know if you want to be tagged in subsequent chapters. 

—————————-

Usually, when terrible things happen, people say the same few things: “I never thought it would happen to me! You never think something like this will happen to you until it does!”. You’d never really been that type of person. You were naturally cautious, and an ex FBI agent, you saw danger pretty much everywhere. You’d seen some of the worst things human beings could ever do to one another and, if you’d learned anything at all, it was that bad things happened everywhere and to pretty much everyone. There was nowhere that you could definitively say was safe from violent crime, but this was just ridiculous.

You looked around the ruined bookshop you’d poured the last year of your life into with a kind of detached sadness. Even before you opened the door, you could see the carnage. The shelves were upended, tables flipped, every vase in the building was smashed...except one. You sighed, stepping into the store, your eyes scanning the wreck with a practiced efficiency. No broken windows, the door was still locked when you’d arrived and your security cameras were blacked out, there were no signs of forced entry. If anything that made you more uneasy and, not for the first time since you’d left the bureau, you missed the weight of your gun against your hip. You crinkled your nose against the smell, the copper-iron of fresh blood that you were all too familiar with as you crept through your store.

“Son of a-fuck!” You swore loudly, cursing your luck as you took in the scene.

There was a body laid out in the middle of the Fiction aisle: face covered with a burlap sack, wrists and ankles bound with rope and blood seeping into the carpets you’d just had cleaned. Your training kicked in and you noticed, without meaning to, that the rest of the aisle was untouched. The shelves were upright, books in order, even the vase of white roses you’d put there the night before were all completely the way you’d left them. It was like he’d just completely bypassed the entire section.

Huh.

You looked up at the sky, “Really? Right now? You throw this at me, now? Unbelievable.”

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of your chest, along with a nervousness that you were telling yourself was irritation as you pulled out your phone. It had been a long while since you’d done this, but you still knew the number by heart.

“This is agent Jareau with the Behavioural Analysis Unit.”

“JJ, it’s me,” you said, “you’re not gonna believe this.”

——————————

You sat in the ruins of your store until the cops arrived, wondering who exactly you had murdered in a past life to end up with this kind of luck. You gave your statement without much incident, directing CSU to the body and alerting the detective to the abnormalities you’d spotted.

JJ had promised to get the team on the case as quickly as she could, and you knew JJ tended to get exactly what she wanted in that regard, you just didn’t know how you felt about that. It had been over a year since you’d left the BAU, since you’d done one case too many and just got fed all the way up. It really wasn’t any deeper than that. One day you’d come home and found that you couldn’t sleep. It had all just become too much, so you packed up your stuff, tendered your resignation, and started over.

It had been hard at first, but now you owned a fairly successful bookstore with a little coffee shop where you sold good coffee, and homemade biscuits. And it was nice. You felt good, kinda. You definitely slept better at night. Your life was finally starting to feel normal and now this? A dead body just happens to appear in the center of your bookstore in just weird enough a way to warrant a call to the BAU? No, you’d seen too much to consider this a coincidence. Whether you liked it or not, you were about to get thrown back into your old life head first, the life you’d worked so hard to get some distance from. So why weren’t you more...upset?

“Y/L/N?” A familiar voice called.

“In here,” you answered, your voice raspy from disuse. You cleared your throat and pushed yourself up onto your feet, “I’m in here.” You tried again.

The figures who stepped in were painfully familiar and you couldn’t help the tired smile that slid onto your face, your eyes going directly to the blonde woman walking at the very front.

“Y/N!” She greeted, her voice dripping with relief as she pulled you into a hug, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, JJ,” you assured her as you broke apart, the rest of your old team filing in behind her.

She eyed you like she wasn’t sure, pressing her lips into a thin line as she looked around the trashed store. Derek Morgan swooped in behind her, giving you a second hug.

“Long time, Y/L/N,” he smiled.

You sighed, “Wish it was under better circumstances, Morgs, but I’m glad you guys are here.”

“Y/L/N,” Aaron Hotchner greeted, giving you a firm handshake.

“Thanks for coming, Hotch, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.” You admitted.

“No, you made the right call. The BAU has officially taken on the case. Reid, Prentiss and Rossi are coordinating with the local PD from our headquarters, the rest of us are here to help,” he said, pausing and meeting your eye, silently asking the question you’d been waiting all morning for.

“No sign of forced entry,” you started, “the front door was still locked from the outside when I arrived.” You walked him through the crime scene, glass crunching beneath your feet as you went, “It looks like someone sprayed black paint over the security cameras I had installed, everything’s been smashed but there’s no cash missing from the register. In fact, they barely touched the front desk at all.” You explained, “And this,” you gestured at the Fiction aisle, “is where I found the body.”

Morgan stepped forward and, just like that, the team moved like a well oiled machine.

“White male, looks like he’s between the ages of 19 and 27.” Morgan started.

“His wrists and ankles are bound, but it doesn’t look like he struggled against his restraints at all,” you cut in, without meaning to, crouching down beside the body, “it could mean he was tied up postmortem.”

“We’ll have to wait on the M.E’s report to know for sure,” Hotch agreed, “Y/L/N, can I talk to you?” You nodded and let him pull you aside. He glanced over your shoulder and lowered his voice, “I know you’re out and we can do this investigation without you-“

“But?” You probed.

The corners of Hotch’s mouth twitched, like he wanted to smile, “But, I would also welcome your help if you’re willing to give it. The team is still a man down and, something about this scene has me thinking-“

“That whoever did this isn’t finished,” you agreed, sighing as you ran your fingers through your hair.

Everything was so messed up in your head. You just wanted to go back to bed and start this day all over again. Hotch looked at you and you recognized his brand of quiet concern. It was familiar and comforting, and it helped you process your thoughts.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” you frowned, “yeah. Yeah, sure, I’ll come back.” Hotch smiled and you wagged a finger at him, “But just for this one case! After that I’m straight back to my boring normal person life, alright?”

“Of course,” he agreed, something almost mocking in his tone.

“I’m serious, Hotch, just one more case.”

“I’m agreeing with you!” He insisted, already walking back to the rest of the group.

But he wasn’t and, much to your chagrin, you felt the familiar rush of adrenaline as you turned back to the scene of the crime.

“Hotch, Y/L/N,” Morgan called, holding something in his gloved hand, “you’re gonna want to see this.”

“Here we go again,” you sighed.

————————-

Walking back into the BAU had felt like stepping back in time. After you’d gotten everything you could from the crime scene there was nothing to do but brainstorm, but walking through those doors again...well, let’s say you hadn’t been prepared for how it would feel being back. For the most part, everyone had been glad to see you, especially Garcia, but you could tell that there were still some resentments bubbling under the surface. It made sense, the BAU survived by relying on one another, by acting like a family, and you’d left that family.

Still, there was a rhythm to this kind of work, a flow that was almost painfully easy to fall back into. You’d worked together for years after all, bouncing ideas off of one another like it was nothing and that kind of bond didn’t just go away.

“Admit it,” Derek teased, bumping your shoulder with his as you studied the evidence board, “you missed this.”

“I most certainly did not.”

“Oh you so did,” Spencer agreed, leaning against the table next to you and giving you a fond smile, “I’m sorry about the bookstore though, it was the only store in town with a proper selection of classics in their original languages.”

You shrugged, “I’ll get it up and running again soon enough, just as soon as we catch whoever did this.”

“Speaking of our UnSub, what do you think the relevance of him leaving the body in the fiction section is?” Spencer asked.

“Maybe he’s trying to say that this is some kind of fairytale?” Prentiss suggested, “Like he’s trying to draw us into his story?”

“Maybe, but this has gotta be more personal than that, right?” Morgan said, “I mean, this isn’t some body in an alley, it was dumped in an FBI agent’s coffee shop.”

“Ex agent,” you corrected.

“Sure thing, Princess,” Morgan teased.

“Why does everyone keep talking like that?” You asked.

“Because you leaving is ridiculous. You love this job,” He replied simply, “you’ve always loved this job.”

You opened your mouth to respond but, before you could, you heard the clacking of heels against the marble floor.

“Um, guys?” Garcia said, coming into the bullpen with a stormy look on her face, “we just got word from the officer who went to Y/N’s apartment.”

“And?” You asked nervously.

“They found something,”

“Another body?” Prentiss asked.

“No, weirder, a letter and what looks like a smiley face drawn on the wall in blood.” She said, pressing a button to display the new crime scene photos on the big screen.

Your heart froze in your chest.

There it was; a crude smiley face drawn right above your headboard and a crisp white envelope resting against your pillow. He’d made your bed too, some small part of your mind noted. How polite. Instinctively, you crossed your arms over your chest as you were hit with a mixture of panic and disgust.

“Of course,” you sighed, “of course there is. Why wouldn’t there be? It’s been that kind of day.”

“Do we know what the letter says?” Morgan asked.

Garcia nodded, “And it’s a doozy. The letter contains a poem written with letters cut out from magazines and newspapers. It reads:

Since there’s no help, come let us kiss and part.

Nay, I have done, you get no more of me;

And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart,

That thus so cleanly I myself can free.

Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows,

And when we meet at any time again,

Be it not seen in either of our brows

That we one jot of former love retain …”

You could feel your friends staring and you tried to keep your face as neutral as possible. Your skin felt like it was on fire, and you could hear the blood pounding in your ears as you thought of a murderer setting foot in your space; him touching your bed, running his hands over the photos on your nightstand, defiling your possessions with his presence. You’d never felt so vulnerable and exposed, and bile rose up in your stomach like your body was physically rejecting the whole thing. Distantly you heard Prentiss and Morgan discussing theories, and you felt one pair of warm brown eyes staring into the side of your head.

Suddenly, you didn’t feel like joking around anymore.

“Sorry,” you muttered, standing up and striding out of the room without looking back, “I need some air.”

You were so angry by the time you made it out into the courtyard that you’d balled your hands into fists and your breath was coming out in short little bursts. Hot tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and your chest felt painfully tight.

“Y/N?” You heard Spencer ask.

You sniffed, wiping your face quickly, “Reid, hi. Sorry, I just-“ you let out a slow breath, “I needed a break.”

He nodded like he understood, tucking his hands into his pockets as he stepped towards you. You wanted to tell him to go away, to head back inside and leave you the hell alone, but the words wouldn’t come.

It had always been like this with Spencer. No matter how hard you tried to be tough and brave and put together, he saw right through you and broke down your defenses. At one point, he’d been the closest thing to family you’d ever had, in fact you thought you might…..

Well, it didn’t matter now. Over the last year things had changed, you’d grown apart. It happened, but the fondness was still there, and the trust, and those damn eyes.

“I get it, Y/N, I can't even imagine what this whole thing must be like for you,” he said, “having your home be violated like that….and the store?” He shook his head, “I know how hard you worked setting that place up.”

Your bottom lip trembled and, for the first time that day, you let yourself feel afraid as tears slipped down your cheeks.

You shook your head, “You know, when I saw the glass all over the floor, and all the books….I just felt tired, like bone tired. I wasn’t scared of that, but now?” You paused, glancing up at Spencer, as a tear slid down your cheek, “He was in my home, Spencer. He made my bed before he left, he wrote me a letter.”

Spencer worked his jaw and hesitantly reached out, touching your shoulder gently.

“We’ll catch him, Y/N/N, we always do.” He promised.

“And until then?” You asked, “Do I just pretend it never happened? Go home and act like it’s all okay?”

“No,” another voice cut in from behind you, “you rely on us. We’ll take care of you,” Morgan explained.

“Yeah,” Garcia agreed, her big blue eyes clinging to yours, “We’ve talked about it already. You’ll take turns staying with each of us a few nights a week and then, on the weekends, we’ll all stay with Rossi to go over the case. And we’ll spend every free moment tracking this son of a bitch down for you.”

Emily nodded and, for the first time since you had opened your store that morning, you felt your chest swell with something a little like hope. You knew the BAU was special, you knew that the bonds you’d formed over the years were damn near unbreakable, but this? This was too much. Seeing your friends rally around you when you needed them most just reminded you how much you loved them, and how much they still loved you. Even now. Spencer gave your shoulder a squeeze and you smiled back at him.

“I really missed you guys,” you said with a watery laugh.

Penelope crooned and threw her arms around your neck, pulling you into a familiarly bone-crushing hug.

“We missed you too, Sugar Plum,” she promised.

“Really?”

“Hell yeah!” Morgan smiled, joining Penelope’s hug.

“You know we did,” Emily agreed, ruffling your hair and pulling herself in close.

Your eyes found Spencer where he was standing just outside of the group hug, both hands in his pockets and a sad smile on his face. You pressed your lips together and, in response, he nodded.

“We missed you,” he said softly and then, as the hug broke up and you allude your way back inside, even softer, “we still do.”

---------------- 

Taglist: @ourfavoritesergeantbarnes​

#jordsie #jordsie writes #cm imagine #cm #cm headcanons #criminal minds #criminal minds headcanons #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid headcanons #Penelope garcia #penelope garcia imagine #derek morgan #emily prentiss #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner #david rossi

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)

i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement

thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic

i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here

how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry

i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?

that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed

ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen

you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it

that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk

also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((

duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 

I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.

Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.

I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.

It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.

To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.

Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.

yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.

Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.

I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.

sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(

#tasty cheese is nasty and i will die on this hill #i'm not sure if other countries have like the same main cheeses or if it differs everywhere #tasty. colby. and edam are the main three i think of #i know there's like mild or some shit but i know only the blue yellow and red packets #either or a wasp or a bee just flew in my room but it flew out so i'll respect that #my plans for today were reply to your ask and that's it #what am i supposed to do for the next twelve hours #oh wait i know #m u r d e r............ #Anonymous

[yuzusorbet]

My 2nd Ice Show Adventure (Fantasy On Ice 2017 in Niigata)

Summer 2015, I went for my very 1st ice show, Fantasy On Ice (FaOI) in Kobe, and it was the 1st time I saw ‘nama-Yuzu’ (real-life Yuzuru) after being a fan since 2014 Olympics. 

Summer 2016, I had tickets for FaOI again but this time, Yuzu pulled out of all ice shows to recover from lisfranc ligament injury, so I sold my ticket, prayed for Yuzu’s health and happiness, sent him letters of support, and managed to survive the terribly long off-season with other long-suffering Yuzu-fans.  

This summer (2017), I am so busy with work projects that I have no time for fangirling, not to mention ice shows, and I moaned about it to a few friends. Almost like a miracle, one friend told me that if I wanted, she could get tickets for me for FaOI Niigata!  I decided I could get away for the weekend.  I must!  

The shows were on Friday, Saturday, Sunday (16-18 June) and it would be my first time in Niigata.  I took an ANA flight (yay! ANA!) and arrived in Niigata airport on Thursday.   The first meal I had was a very delicious bowl of ramen, and as I ate, I was surprised that I could taste bits of yuzu (the fruit).  I have never had ramen with yuzu before and so I was really happy!  It was really oiishiiiiiiiiii~~!!!  What a great omen, I thought.  My first meal on this trip was with yuzu. xD    

On this 1st night, there was something else that made me think of Yuzu.... I saw Bourbon ice-cream!  “Mo chotto”!  

I was way too full from the huge bowl of ramen and so I did not buy ‘Mo Chotto’ ice-cream to try.  Thought I’d try it another day but I did not pass by this shop again and I could not find it anywhere else.  Sigh.  Regret.  The snack is common but the ice-cream is not. 

Friday 16 June (ice show is at 7pm, doors open at 6pm)  

In the morning, I changed hotel.  Checked into ANA Crowne Plaza (yay, ANA!) because it’s a short walk to the ice show venue.  A Yuzu-fan friend, D-chan, messaged to say she is nearby and asked me to join her for coffee.  OK!   It was a lovely breezy walk from ANA hotel to an area called Pier Bandai and I found her in a cosy little coffee place with comfy sofas.  I ordered an iced coffee and we chatted away.  “I can’t believe I’m really here....”  “He’s somewhere near us now, you know....”  “Omg we’re breathing the same air as him....”   xD

Happiness is talking with a Yuzu-fan while sipping coffee in Japan. :)  

Soon it was time to meet another friend, Kay, the wonderful person who got my tickets for me.  We had plans for an early dinner together and then go for the ice show.  I met her at Niigata Station and we walked around looking for food. Some restaurants were not yet opened for dinner as it was too early. Luckily there was a soba shop that was open and we both felt like eating soba, so in we went.  (soba= buckwheat noodles) 

We ordered their specialty which was soba dipped in a warm broth with tender slices of pork.  And once again, I had the lovely surprise of finding yuzu in it!   I really love the citrusy fragrance it gave to the soupy noodles.  We felt so happy eating soba with yuzu.  It was a very good meal. :)  

From Niigata station, there was a shuttle bus to the show venue, running pretty frequently.  (I really love Japan;  they think of everything.) There was no real need to look for the bus-stop, just look for the long queue!  Luckily, it was a short wait as the buses came quickly and soon we were on our way to Toki Messe!   Just a 10-minute bus ride and we were there, a lovely glassy tall building by the river.  

We were early but the queue for FaOI merchandise was already VERY LONG. It’s ok, let’s admire the pretty Tanabata decorations and chit-chat while we wait in line.  Finally we could at least SEE the sale counter!  It’s going to be our turn!  I got a T-shirt, a towel and the programme booklet.  So happy to get the towel because 2 years ago at FaOI Kobe, the towel was sold out before it was my turn, on the very 1st day!  

Then Kay pointed out to me something that made me very happy.... Ice Rink Sendai merchandise counter!  I have not had the chance to buy anything from Yuzu’s hometown rink before, so I hurried towards it excitedly.  Wow, they really have a lot of pretty things!  

The photo of Yuzu wearing ‘Irene gloves’ was there.  (Irene is short for ‘Ice Rink Sendai’ and is the name of the mascot.)  And also his signature with a message saying “I will never forget, I will continue to do my best and give my support.” (my translation from Japanese)   And there is a little mushroom at the end. ^^

What a simple but heartwarming message for his hometown rink....

I bought the ‘Irene’ gloves, T-shirt, keychain and some stationery.  I love the pink theme!

There were also stalls selling really beautiful books and magazines..... I want them all!

Glad we were early.  It was hard to take a good look at the stalls when it got very crowded later.  

I was also very amused to see a counter that rented out binoculars, haha.  I did not rent one on the 1st day, but I did for the next 2 days.  Best decision ever.  I could see clearly all his cute facial expressions and who he was talking to all the time at the finale.  (Guess who. :))  

And of course, there were big boxes for fan letters and gifts to skaters.  Yuzu’s box filled up quickly and the inner bag had to be changed several times by the staff.  I used my new Irene stationery to write 2 fan letters (one on behalf of the FB international fan group and one from myself) and dropped them into the box on the 2nd day.  On the 3rd day, I decided to also drop a letter into Oda-san’s box.  I told him I enjoy his skating, his talk shows and his blog, thanked him for his great friendship with Yuzu, and may God bless his beautiful family. :)   

After all the excitement outside, it’s time to go in.  The seating arena for Niigata is smaller than some other places, so even the furthest row was not that far away.  I was somewhere in the middle, nearer one end of the rink.  

As usual, there were guys in black jackets who walk around holding up big signs that say “No taking of photos or videos”.  (I took this pic before the show, no pics during the show.  Law-abiding fan.) 

The show started and the skaters were introduced one or two at a time.  Yuzu was the last one to come out and the applause and cheers for him were huge.  It was clear who the star of the show was. :) 

After the opening number, the skaters did their individual performances.  I enjoyed watching all of them.  My favourite ones were the 2 performances by Nobunari Oda -- the music was beautiful for both and I love to watch his jumps;  it’s like he lands on marshmallow (once again I am reminded of why they gave him that T-shirt saying ‘landing with cat’s feet’);  Sex Bomb by Plushenko was hilarious and I laughed so much;  and Shizuka Arakawa-- what supreme grace and beauty.

Ice dancers Papadakis and Cizeron were very beautiful to watch. So glad they performed in this FaOI.  The acrobatic duo of 2 men in Swan Lake tutu performing ‘Notte Stellata’ was very funny.  I have seen Yuzu perform to this song so beautifully so many times in the past season (and watched it live at 4CC) and now this exact same song is skated in such a comical way..... I was so tickled. xD

For the record, the other skaters were Kaori Sakamoto, Marin Honda, Akiko Suzuki, Miki Ando, Shoma Uno, Evgenia Medvedeva, Denis Vasiljevs, Javier Fernandez, Elladj Balde, Johnny Weir, Stephane Lambiel, Jeffrey Buttle and the Chesnas.  Many of them performed twice, before and after the intermission.  Much thanks to all for their wonderful performances!     

At the end was Yuzu’s Chopin Ballade Number 1.  I had the good fortune of watching this 2 years ago, at the last show of FaOI 2015, when he gave us a surprise performance with live piano music played by Kotaro Fukuma.  At that time, he did the 2nd half of his usual Chopin, in a black FaOI finale shirt. It was awesome. So this time, I was really excited that I would see the full performance with that beautiful white Chopin top. And wow.... he really took my breath away. Although I have watched him perform Chopin for 2 seasons already, it felt like a different Chopin. It was the same and yet it was different. More beautiful, more powerful, more flow, more speed, more precision.... it was already so perfect, how can it be even better, but it is!  (based on my ‘expert’ opinion.)   I am so thrilled that he is doing this for the new season! I LOVE Chopin!

After Chopin, he went backstage to dry his sweat and then came out again to do an encore of ‘Let’s Go Crazy’ (his SP for last season). It was funny to watch LGC performed in that sweet Chopin costume. So mismatched, haha.

For the finale, Yuzu came out in a glittery blue FaOI top with a cat ears-hair band on his head. He danced in the group number and even did a cartwheel on the ice!  And he waved happily to all of us. It was so good to see him enjoying himself. I am very glad he did not do any quad battles at the end. He just did a side lunge for the 1st show (with one under a set of hurdles, so amazing!), a hydroblade for the 2nd show, and a ‘muscle man’ pose with Plushenko at the last show. And when others are doing their jumps or special elements in the middle of the rink, he would skate from his original position to the space between his idol Plushenko and good buddy Nobu. And he was often talking to Plush. Ahhh... Yuzu, still the cute fan-boy after all these years. :)))

After the finale, when all the other skaters have left the rink, Yuzu took a mic and spoke to thank all of us. He said things like please take care of yourselves, take care as you go home, have a meal, have a good rest, who is staying on for tomorrow’s show? oh that’s quite a lot of you (laughs), thank you for your support, I really enjoyed myself, eh to, eh to, there is still so much that I want to say, but never mind, it is already very late, I should stop here, I really want to thank all of you for today....... And he would end by putting the mic down and shouting as loudly as he could with his own voice “Arigato gozaimashita!”

Listening to him speak was just wonderful.... I was touched by his concern for his fans and also half-laughing at some things he said. He wanted to talk more but he did not want to hold us back as it was already way past 10pm on that 1st night. That dear talkative boy. :) Oh Yuzu, your fans would listen to you all night, if only we could. But then we want you to rest too! You need a good rest and a good meal more than us!

In his speech for the 2nd day, he also thanked the people who made the ice rink.  He said the ice was very good to skate on and they all loved skating there. Yuzu and his grateful heart. :) 

On that 2nd day, I was seated at the other end, where the stage was.  (I took this pic as I was leaving.)  When he was speaking, he was standing on the left of the stage just outside the ice.  I had a very clear side view of him through my binoculars ( I was halfway up the stands).  His face was sweaty but dazzling with happiness as he spoke.  How I wish I was sitting this close!   

The shows for Saturday and Sunday were at 2 pm and 1pm respectively.

Most skaters performed the same programmes for all 3 shows in Niigata but a few skaters did a different one for one of the shows. Like Marin Honda, for the 2nd show, she performed in a very cute Japan Airlines air stewardess costume. Elladj Balde was the skater before Marin (he did a great Michael Jackson medley) and when he finished his performance, he skated to one end with his chair and just sat there. Marin skated out in her JAL costume, went to him and said in Japanese, “Sir, would you like some coffee or tea?” Haha, that was how she started and I really enjoyed her performance.  For the other 2 days, she did ‘Crime Tale’.   Javier also had a different one in the 2nd show;  instead of his new SP, it was a funny pirate one where he was a cleaner-boy daydreaming. Johnny Weir performed ‘Amazing Grace’ in the 2nd half for the 1st 2 days, then on the 3rd day, he did a song called ‘Creep’.  His performance was so heart-wrenching, I almost cried.  I can still feel the pain he expressed even now when I think back..... Johnny’s skating is really very special. No wonder he is one of the skaters that Yuzu has looked up to since junior days.

In the 3rd show, which was the last FaOI show for 2017, Yuzu had some surprises for us. 

After performing Chopin, he went backstage as usual, and the rink was dark. As with the previous 2 shows, we waited a while and then started to call his name. “Yuzu, Yuzu....” The MC said we have to shout his name louder because he can’t hear us. So we shouted “YUZU!” as loudly as we could, expecting him to appear for the LGC encore. Suddenly, the sounds of an electric guitar filled the air. There was a guitarist on stage and he was playing ‘Parisienne Walkways’!!!! We recognised it immediately and the fan beside me turned to me with eyes as big as saucers. She grabbed my hand and we started screaming and jumping about, mad with excitement! Yuzu then skated out to all our screams and did his legendary PW wearing his Chopin costume (he did the 2nd half of the usual PW programme). Oh wow!!! What a surprise! What a treat!!! Yuzu's PW with live guitar!!! I felt like the luckiest fan in the world!!!

After that amazing encore, he went backstage and the finale started. The other skaters came out in turns to do the group number. When Yuzu came out again for his part in the finale, we all went hysterical again! Because he was wearing a yellow headband with Pooh ears!! Hahaha...... this guy really knows how to make his fans scream. He looked so adorable! It was wonderful to see him looking so happy and enjoying himself so much. (Later, I saw a Japanese fan on twitter say the Pooh headbands were all sold out. But of course. The Yuzuru-effect. XD) 

(2 pics above are fans’ screenshots of a TV news segment on FaOI.)

Then at the very end of the show, when the other skaters have left the rink, he gave a very emotional speech and made me cry.  He said that last year he could not do anything (no ice shows at all due to injury), so now he is feeling very happy to be back doing this and he loves skating and he is feeling most blessed and he is the happiest person in the world. (*may not be the exact words but the meaning is such.)  And he thanked the organisers and other people and all of us.  It was not so much the words he said but the way he said them. There were so much emotions. His voice trembled a bit at the beginning. It sounded like he was tearing and was trying to control himself not to cry. As he spoke, his feelings were just gushing out...... he was just so utterly happy and grateful for everything!

Then he did the usual ending-shout;  he put down the mic, cupped his hands near his mouth and shouted "arigato-gozaimashita!", and we all shouted back "arigato-gozaimashita!"  And then he bowed and waved and went in through the curtains.

Tears were running down my face. I continued to say softly, "Arigato, Yuzu-kun, arigato."  Thank you, Yuzu, thank you.  My tears just kept flowing as I thought back.  After going through so much... so much..... he is finally where he is supposed to be.......   

Seeing Yuzu so happy and healthy is one of the best things in the world. 

I met Kay after the show and we talked about how special Yuzu is.  And how is it that he can make us fly thousands of miles to watch him perform just those few minutes and we feel it’s so worth our time, money and energy.  She would be flying home that night, and for me, my flight home was the next day.  As with all good things, it ended too quickly but our hearts were filled to overflowing.

I am very grateful to Kay for her help with tickets and for her fun company.  We met up every day and ate some very delicious food together.  On the 2nd day after the show, we walked around and found a little ramen shop to have dinner.  And again there was yuzu in it!!!  (See the little yellow strips on top of the soup?)  Kay also ordered a yuzu sparkling wine.  I had a sip and it was lovely!   Another meal with yuzu.... ahhh life is good. :) 

On the last night after the ice show, I shopped for stuff like P&G Bold clothes detergent, Lenor clothes deodoriser and softener, Ghana chocolate and Xylitol gum.  I was so happy to find all these things near my hotel, and after I lugged my heavy shopping back to my hotel room, I realised I had forgotten to buy rice! Niigata is famous for very good rice and I had wanted to buy a small bag of rice home. :((  I messaged Kay to lament and she replied, it’s ok, he is not the ambassador for rice.  Hahaha..... I love Yuzu-fans.  (I did manage to get a bag of rice before I left for the airport the next day. :) ) 

Yuzu-fans are really wonderful and generous.  And just like Yuzu, they surprise me all the time.  On the 2nd night, D-chan passed a package to me from a fan that I don’t even know.  Inside were some Japanese newspapers and advertisements with Yuzu, and also ‘Weekend Sendai’!!!  OMG I nearly fainted with happiness.  (Weekend Sendai is a free travel magazine given out in Japan many months back.  Yuzu is featured inside recommending food and places in Sendai. 1st pic below, left side.)   Gosh, how did she know it’s something I had been coveting for ages now???  I told D-chan to give her my utmost gratitude.  And thank you, D-chan, for being a good friend and messenger!  So glad I met you on this trip!    

Another fan gave me gorgeous photos of Yuzu that she had taken herself at competitions.  And she said, “Thank you for the good work that you do in the fan group.”  Aww..... I was so touched!   Thank you, CL!

I was so happy when I was packing my luggage on the last night in Niigata.  I had so many precious goodies in my bag!   Thank you, dear Yuzu-fans!!!  Hope to see you all again! 

Below are pics of my FaOI tee, towel and booklet that I bought on Day 1.

There is so much more that I want to say, but this is already so long, I should stop here now.  Dear Yuzu, thank you for everything!!!  May God bless you and your family.  Always supporting you and hope to see you again soon!   

Note: This is written one month after the event due to being too busy at work.  If any details of FaOI are incorrect, I am sorry for my bad memory. :P   

[Credit: photos are all mine except for the 2 screenshots of Yuzu with Pooh-ears from twitter and the Pooh pics from pinterest - thanks!]

#fantasy on ice niigata #FaOI 2017 #Yuzuru Hanyu #fantasy on ice

[gonnabesyk]

I haven’t updated this blog in a while..

A couple of quick updates:

Diet I’ve fallen back into my old eating habits, though not entirely by choice. We’re currently living on granola bars, crackers, and chips. Things like fresh produce, meat, eggs, and dairy are nearly impossible to get now. I feel like we might have better luck if we went into the store to do our shopping, but neither of us want to risk getting ill. We have to place our order at least two days in advance (and in order to even secure a slot we have to be awake at midnight!). By the time they fill it, most everything has already been sold out. Other necessities like toilet paper, paper towels, garbage bags, hand sanitizer, and gloves are permanently out of stock too. Oh, and to prevent hoarding, you can only oder 2 of each item. It doesn’t matter if it’s two cases of water or two cans of soup. The limit is 2. I’m pissed off because one of the only things Jim will eat is ramen & I can only order 2 at a time. I’ve been trying to order meat for at least 3 weeks with no luck. I can’t even get frozen meals!

COVID-19

Alabama has one of the highest projected death rates in the country. Despite that, nobody seems to be taking COVID-19 seriously. That includes my mom and sisters.. Mom went into panic-mode for about a week: wiping doorknobs and surfaces down with a bleach solution every few hours, washing/sanitizing her hands frequently, and staying inside. My sister had been keeping the kids away from us (thank goodness!), but mom essentially invited them back into our lives yesterday by buying them an above-ground pool. Why! They were here all day setting it up. To make matters worse, they’re visiting the store nearly every day and bringing the kids with them, then coming here. My sister works in Etowah county, where they have at least 60 confirmed cases of COVID-19 (I believe they’ve had a couple at her workplace too), but she still won’t work from home. Ugh. I’m just waiting for her to bring it to us

Money woes

Jim was laid off near the end of March. He’s been struggling to file a claim for unemployment since then.. Nobody answers the phone, the website doesn’t work. Before coronavirus came to the US, we had about $5k in savings. We’re down to $300 now. Like, that’s all we have in the bank after paying bills D: A big chunk of it (well over $1k) was spent on Gizmo and Jowee. I also got a Switch lite and ACNH (that set us back a few hundred!). Plus, stocking up on pet supplies (we’re already running low!) and groceries every week, bleh. That stimulus check sure would help a lot.. I don’t know if we’ll get $1200 or $2400. We filed taxes jointly in 2018, but I’m unemployed and therefore don’t have to pay taxes.. Either way, the money would be helpful.. Our bills come to about $1300/month, not including rent. Mom hasn’t asked for it for weeks and I haven’t brought it up.. I’m very fortunate that my mom is my landlord right now ‘cos we would have already been evicted anywhere else. Eugh, forgot the electric bill. That varies from month to month, but we started running the air about a week ago. I hope Jim starts getting unemployment soon, I hope the stimulus check comes, I hope everything will be ok. The factory claims they’ll reopen in May, but even if they do I don’t know if I’ll let Jim go.. I’d rather be destitute than lose him. As long as we have each other and our health, we’ll be okay

Jowee

Jowee continues to get worse week by week. He seems miserable - lethargic, itchy, painful. He doesn’t want to play, he pees every few minutes, drags his penis on everything in the room (including your feet, if you don’t move them in time). I’ve been syringe feeding him on especially bad days just to make sure he eats. Jim and I have discussed it, and if he gets much worse we’re going to have him put to sleep. Just thinking about it fills me with guilt, but what else can we do? One vet says he’s in kidney failure. Another lady says it’s adrenal disease + insulinoma. These conditions are all very costly to treat. That isn’t even the main issue, though.. It’s the fact that all the vets are over an hour away and traveling to and from big cities with the threat of catching COVID-19 is scary. Especially since ferrets can get it too. For now, we’re just keep an eye on him and trying to keep him comfortable. If it reaches a point where he starts having seizures, can’t pee, or can’t even get out of bed, we’ll have to say goodbye

Other than that...  We’re ok. Not sick yet. Mostly playing Animal Crossing and sleeping. I’m on a cold case files kick right now which probably isn’t very healthy, but I’ve also been watching a lot of Youtube videos about horse care, haha. These are strange times

I really.. miss pizza