#Thinking he’s sort of bi but “everyone would choose men if they had the choice” | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

la5t-res0rt · 4 years

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fun fact fucko no one cares that he’s trans, gnc, or autistic. all they care about is that he said someone wasn’t bisexual all because they hate them. thats fucked up no matter who you are. being austistic isn’t an excuse to be an utter dick hole.

alrighty folks strap in because we are in for a long one today

to start off i will begin by saying that i care about the identities of people i like and call friends i care enough to listen and learn from them because they have different perspectives on issues that i as a person who is none of the things that this person is will ever understand

it is important to listen to people and learn from them not just shine a light out of your ass for someone out of a weird place of blind worship thats honestly so cringey but that isnt what this is about this about you and likely others harassing ad sending death threats my friend and comrade betel bitches

i will now be going under a readmore to spare the dashboard

so lets recap what exactly is he being harassed for

as you all are no doubt aware there is a blog called nether receipts where a certain user we shall not name catalogs instances where members of the beetlejuice fandom are harassed correction its a blog where this person catalogs instances where flaws in their character as well as the characters of the people around her are highlighted and critiqued with the occaisional off color remark and threat which i obviously do not approve of who would

anyway following reading some ill-informed and not-so-well-phrased comments from a certain narcissistic user about their sexuality my friend had this to say

this was the post that got them put on this receipts blog which really exists as a source of people for a certain cluster of the beetlebabe fandom to harass and try to drag or cancel

this is the post that has made people call him biphobic and here is why thats wrong and stupid

you said in your ask that he only is saying that this icky person is not bisexual because there is malice between them and while yes its true that there is malice orion never once said that this person wasnt bisexual

i took the liberty of sifting through the harassment asks he received yesterday because you all love receipts so much i took the liberty of grabbing a few and adding some highlights so you dont miss the important bits

orion never once said this person isnt bisexual he stated that equating doing femme on femme pornography to bisexuality is a biphobic statement and is in fact a problematic thing to say

there may be crossover between bisexual people and people who do femme on femme but they are far from the same thing doing pornography is a choice you actively make and you do it for compensation however being bisexual is simply part of who you are it is something you dont choose

although this person would perhaps disagree

and before you come for me this person posted these for the world to see and obviously i have as many receipts as my drive can carry furthermore how does this argument make sense why would you care so much about heterophobia if youre not heterosexual why are you so pressed oh wait is it perhaps

because this person is using the split attraction model for woke points like this screams that this person sees women as sex objects or perhaps this person is comphet and is denying themselves because heteronormativity is so deeply ingrained in their being that they wish to cling to heterosexuality to keep up their squeaky clean white feminist woman persona or maybe theyre just not well informed on lgbt+ issues

editors note the editor is an ace person who considers using the split attraction model is situations like this isnt exactly helpful like i cant stop you from doing it but you shouldnt have to say im a bisexual heteromantic person you can just be a bisexual woman and keep dating men you dating men doesnt erase your bisexuality saying that you would have sex with a woman but not romantically be involved with them makes the editor think woman = sex object and as a feminist the editor has to say thats fucked up

i will reiterate implying that doing pronography of any kind is equitable to a human sexualty is harmful to bisexual people and if youre like uhhh im bi and i think its okay guess what you do not speak for every single bi person so you should try harder to be compassionate for other peoples level of comfort

in any case statements like these are hurtful to bi people equating voluntary sex work to a sexuality isnt okay and its something that person should maybe address and consider apologizing for but since this person only listens to people in their inner circle and they dont even really listen to them its unlikely that this person will ever make amends for past biphobic tendencies because as everyone has been so quick to point out being bi doesnt excuse biphobia or homophobia or anything of the sort editors note heterophobia is not a legitimate issue im sorry if you feel oppressed for your straightness but really thats a you issue

here is one more screenshot where my friend basically covers what i have just said as well as reminding the world that the owner of nether receipts is a narcissist

being a bisexual person does not excuse you from saying biphobic things and there is literally no identifier you can use for yourself that exempts you from criticism for your actions and it doesnt mean that people cant demand that you address the wrongs youve done or said

you dont have to listen you dont have to do anything but dont be surprised if you say something shitty to a group of people and they get mad at you

also all that being said what orion said was not biphobic if anything he is raephobic but lets be honest who isnt ok there thats my one funny haha for you

we have every right to criticize someone who creates simulated cp and shares it with minors in 18+ servers or someone who equated bisexuality to voluntary sex work or someone who accuses people who disagree with them of being fascists or nazis or someone who goes out of their way to repost and edit art in a mocking manner or someone who actively claims to own a fandom like these are all critique worthy behaviors that all come from the same person who never explains their actions never holds themselves accountable for the shit they cause like we as people who share the same space as this person have every write to call bull roar when we see it

it is no secret that i dislike his person and it is also no secret that i will not hesitate to the the opportunity to drag them for being a shitty person whenever the opportunity arises and since their most recent beef with me was about how i was a bad friend i guess i figured this would be a good time to come forward for one of my friends who received dozens of harassment messages and several death threats over his commentary on the actions of this one vile individual

and i am addressing them now if they ever end up reading this or when it is inevitably sent to this person

if youve got a problem with the way he and i or other antis critique you maybe come out from behind your wall of dipshit cronies and talk to us your damn self i am very sick of having to deal with nasti or morgan or that one minor or suz or that person that runs the rp blog or any of the others in your little hoard im tired of them trying to be slick like we see you we see all of you

all of your simulated cp aside youve said some really shitty things that you could easily amend since youve likely learned more about what it means to be lgbt+ since it is now a community you see yourself being a part of

part of being human is learning from your past and making a better version of yourself for tomorrow and although i think you are a really awful person i dont think youre above self betterment and self reflection and self awareness

also you dont seem to care at all when threats are being tossed around by your buddies but no matter how much me or orion or any of the others dislike what you do no person in their right mind would be okay with sending death threats and you shouldnt either you should at the very least extend that courtesy

anyway

fuck you asker youre full of trash garbage and i hope you have a not so good day like i hope it rains or something invalidate my friends identity and ill yell at clouds

#discourse #harassment #sexuality discourse

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shakespeareintellectualbadass · 3 years

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http://andthenshesaid.co.uk/expertsofourownexperience/queer

Feels weird to advertise a blog on a blog, but I'm writing a series called Experts of Our Own Experience around pieces of my personal experience of life - being neurodivergent, dealing with depression and anxiety and an eating disorder, and most recently, being visibly queer for the first time in my life. I've learned more about myself from hearing others talk about their experiences, and I'm a big believer in learning about experiences other than your own, so whether any of these things apply to you or not, maybe you'll find something connective.

If you're interested, check it out, lmk if you have thoughts ✌

I’ve known I’m not straight since I was seventeen.

I went to all-girls school for fourteen years, from age four to eighteen. All my friends were female until I got to college. For most of my youth I was more consumed by the romantic stories my imagination conjured up, and generally those stories starred princes rather than princesses. I never spent any time overanalyzing it because it never felt wrong, to imagine either but focus more on boys.

And yeah, I’m definitely attracted to men. I obsessed over the boys we met at parties in high school like my friends did. I enjoy flirting with and dating men (most of the time…). I have a longstanding, embarrassingly strong celebrity crush on Jensen Ackles (like full blush, swooping in my stomach listening to him sing or when he winks at the camera). I remember one particular boy who my best friend and I fought over for about an hour at a friend’s quinceañera freshman year (that might be the most heated fight we’ve ever had and we’d only met him at that party, which is ridiculous). I also had really intense female friendships I didn’t think anything of. With the benefit of hindsight, I can see how those friendships with girls I liked and admired - the really earnest ones where I’d go out of my way to do things for them and be around them because I just really want her to want to be my friend - were actually crushes. I’m a people pleaser (with people I care about anyway), but I recognize that higher intensity now that I’ve been through more serious relationships. Definitely bisexual.

It clicked in the autumn of senior year, when I fell for one of my friends from school. We spent a few months pining and then dated for about half a year (though we were both dealing with shitty mental health struggles at the time and were overall not very good for each other) and broke up right before I graduated. All our friends knew we were together, as did my family and probably hers and probably quite a few more people than we knew. What can I say, I’ve never been known for my subtlety, especially when romantic interest is involved.

But right now is the first time I’ve been obviously queer. Visibly, aesthetically queer in how I choose to present myself.

I’ve easily passed for straight all my life. I’ve had long hair and lengthened my eyelashes with coats of mascara, worn low cut tops and tall heels and tight jeans. I’ve flirted with men more than women and leaned into my soft, feminine energy more than my assertive, masculine energy.

But I’ve never had to adjust to being bisexual, to accept that about myself. I never worried about what my parents would think. I know I’m enormously lucky because of that. That said, there’s a difference between coming to terms with being bisexual and being comfortable presenting as queer. My parents are both artists; they both went to college for performance (acting for mum, singing for dad) and are wonderfully open minded and raised me with that same open-mindedness. I don’t think I ever actually came out to them. I could tell they knew about my interest in my high school girlfriend, so I just started talking about it, and that was that. My whole extended family is very accepting, and there are other LGBTQ+ members of the family. One of my cousins is trans and bi; we make a lot of jokes about being the gay cousin (“every family has a gay cousin; if yours doesn’t, you’re the gay cousin” “but if I’m the gay cousin, and you’re the gay cousin, who’s flying the plane?”). My dad’s mom and her partner have been affectionately dubbed The Grandmas for my whole life. Grandma Natalie is as much my grandparent as Grandma Gayle, though we’re not related by blood. I don’t know how many members of my family know I’m queer - I’ve never specifically come out to any of them either - but I don’t worry about it. It’ll become obvious at some point, or I’ll drop it in conversation like I do so often now.

It does vary, how out I am - in high school I was comfortable with it in my personal life, but I never considered joining the LGBTQ+ club - and it’s been different when I’m in a relationship. Both my long term boyfriends were queer/on the bisexuality spectrum, but we presented like a heterosexual couple so never had to worry about coming out. While my high school girlfriend and I weren’t subtle, we also weren’t fully out as a couple. Her family was religious and she was worried about their reaction. On top of that, we were both fairly femme, and in Catholic school the general assumption is that everyone is straight. When I got to college, I only dated men. Part of that was residual fear left over from how badly that high school relationship ended. Part of it was I went to a Catholic university (seriously, how did I spend eighteen years in Catholic institutions when I’ve never been Catholic). A lot of it was compulsive heterosexuality - something queer women fall into a lot because our society is set up with men as the be all and end all (“how could anyone not be attracted to men?” “Of course the ultimate happy ending is settling down with a man...”). A lot of it was how much more I was around men. For the first time, there was a lot of choice, which was an exciting prospect. Even when I wasn’t in a serious relationship, I tended to only focus on men as romantic prospects.

Again, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see how much I’ve been and still am guided by that ingrained need for male attention and validation. It’s also easier to pick up men than women - there’s no is she flirting or is she just friendly to deal with – because men and women are socialized so differently that men don’t usually gush and compliment women they’ve just met in the same way that women do. Maybe it’s just easier to assume men are flirting because of the stereotype that men always want to get laid. Maybe it’s scarier to flirt with women. Maybe both. It’s certainly possible that’s my own projection rather than fact. That said, I did once have a two hour conversation with a lady in a shop during which we effusively complimented each other multiple times, and I have no idea if she was flirting with me or if she was just nice. Girls in bar bathrooms consistently hype each other up without ever exchanging names. It’s wonderful, but it does make things a little foggy when one is trying to flirt with a lady.

Anyway - I was talking about being obviously queer for the first time. It’s odd because I’m very comfortable talking about being bisexual. I bring it up in conversation easily. I post about it for pride. I talk about it a lot on my podcast. I’ve been comfortable with it since I recognized it - I have a wonderfully supportive family, and accepting that part of myself came easily. Presenting it to the world aesthetically is different - more personal, more vulnerable. Even writing about it here, thinking of you reading this, I feel more shy than I would were we face to face. While I didn’t spend any time reassessing my personality when I realized I’m bi, I’m just now recognizing that I do have internalized biphobia and compulsive heterosexuality I need to work through. I think the difference right now is about presentation, that I’ve never felt like I looked bisexual. Which is silly, right? As much as we talk about gaydar and queer trends (bisexuals cuff their jeans, etc), both within the LGBTQ+ community and out, you can’t actually tell anyone’s sexual orientation from their appearance. Queer people just tend to be more adventurous with their self-expression, perhaps because they’ve spent time at one point or another repressing who they are. Perhaps there’s just a joy in exploring something different, that makes you stand out. I don’t know - that’s true for me, though I’m only just starting to experiment myself, and I’m sure it’s different for everyone. I certainly don’t know if I would experiment with my style in the same way if I was straight, having never been straight.

My style has slid less feminine during this year of lockdown. Part of it is that I’m rarely going anywhere, and when I am, I’m walking a lot, so sneakers are a must. I exercise a lot more now, so often when I leave the house, it’s for a workout in a park and I’m dressed in leggings and a sweatshirt. I’ve gravitated toward looser trousers for the last year and a half or so; after years of skinny jeans, I’m obsessed with how comfortable they are. Now that it’s winter, I’m more focused on being warm and comfy than being fashionable. Also, I sort of feel like any moment an apocalypse movie is going to start and I need to be dressed to live in the woods. This added up into a vibe more butch than I’m used to, but with my hair longer than it had been in years, I didn’t really notice.

And then I chopped all my hair off. Like actually all off. A full pixie cut, shorter than I’ve ever gone.

Leading up to it, I guessed I was going to want to lean more into feminine fashion again to balance the cropped cut. I like being feminine and I’m in no hurry to give it up. I planned to pull out my comfy knit pencil skirts and my heeled ankle boots. I expected to forget about my new habit of dressing like I live in the woods. That hasn’t really happened. I’ve still been dressing for comfort, and my style choices have gravitated more toward sweater vests and flare trousers. Both Harry Styles and Phoebe Waller-Bridge in the “Golden” music video. The other day I caught sight of myself in a window and needed a moment to recognize myself: the combination of loose jeans, sweatshirt, raincoat, sneakers, and short hair just didn’t feel like the me I remembered. I looked at myself and didn’t see the femme, straight passing person I’ve looked like for most of my adult life. Let me be clear - I am by no means saying that looking obviously queer is a bad thing. It’s new to me, but I’m rediscovering myself. I still saw me - and that’s key, that this haircut has always felt like me - but a different me than I’m used to seeing in the mirror.

I have a lot of affection for this new aesthetically masculine and feminine mix, and the other day, stuck in the house at the beginning of lockdown no.3, I felt the urge to dress up a little. I put on lipstick for the first time since May, pulled out a plunge bodysuit and a pair of one-of-a-kind flare jeans I found in a vintage shop on Brick Lane the other week (looser jeans are a masculine leaning I’m embracing wholeheartedly). I decked out my fingers in rings and pulled out my wire-rimmed blue light glasses (my eyesight is so bad that my actual glasses look like something from the wardrobe of a nerd from a 1980s movie, so I stick with contacts). I snapped this photo, just to see the full effect as I no longer have a full-length mirror, and - bam.

I love how I look. I’m obsessed with my hair, with the bright red lines of the bodysuit (and isn’t me in a bright color shocking enough!). I love the jeans, love that they’re a little too big in the waist and just keep flowing out from there, a feminine line in a masculine fabric. I love the wire rim glasses (even if I do look like my dad in the 80s). I love the muscle I can see in my arms from months of pushups and calisthenics. I love how much space I take up, both physically and just in my presence. I am feminine and masculine. I am impossible to miss. Once, even a year ago, that would’ve been stressful. Now, I feel like shouting from the rooftops. This is me.

It’s gone up on Instagram. It’s my new profile picture on various apps. The only caption has been a peace sign emoji - a joke within the LGBTQ+ community about how bisexual people never know what to do with our hands (“point a camera at a bisexual and see how long it takes them to flash a peace sign or finger guns”). It’s a very different vibe from my last profile photo - almost two years ago I smiled at my friend behind the camera from a flowering yellow bush as I watched my last relationship coming to an end.

I keep coming back to how much it is different. This is a change - not of who I am, but of how I reflect it to the world. Proud and excited as I am, and as much as I want to care only for what I think, the fear of rejection lingers. The fear that my friends’ love isn’t malleable and won’t fit this new me anymore. The yearning for the people I love and admire to be proud of me. And on top of that, I wonder how I am different, how my change in appearance reflects an inner shift. How it necessitates it. I’ve always felt the inner shone through to the outer - now that I’m changing the outer, does that come from a shift I’ve already made or is there one still to make? Do I have to act more queer because I look it? What do I feel I need to prove?

Maybe I’ve spoken so much and so easily about my sexuality because I knew it wasn’t visible. Now it’s far more clear, and I feel both more confident and shy. Who is this woman who wears red and casually takes up space? I know her, have seen her in flashes, but this is the first time she is stepping out so boldly. That’s it: I am bold in a way I haven’t felt before. I know, logically, that I have been (again, I’ve never been known for subtlety), but not so consciously. Not with so much intention behind my choice. Some boldness comes so easily I never think of it, but this - this was like bursting out of water for that first breath of air. Natural, intuitive, but not easy.

All this comes in the middle of a period of great change in my life. I’m moving back to my home country after living in London for almost three years, back to my parents’ house after living alone for a year during this pandemic. I’m reconsidering everything I want to spend the next few years doing, much less the rest of my life. I’m trying to figure out how to fund seeing the world and how to organize running a podcast with guests from everywhere I go. I’m consciously focusing on myself and what I want rather than delaying or sacrificing my goals for anybody else. I’m putting off putting down roots for a bit and relying on the knowledge my family is there to come back to. My future see-saws between the safety of family and the unquestionable boldness of adventure.

There is an apprehension that comes with change, an acknowledgment that I am growing and becoming something new, something that is always myself though I did not know it was there. It is freeing and exhilarating and terrifying, growing. Like jumping off a cliff, I have to squeeze my hands into fists and tighten my core and rely on the knowledge that the water below will catch me, that I will catch me, so that I can enjoy the fleeting moment of flying into something new.

#selfpost #experts of our own experience #and then she said #queer #lgbtq+

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marlahey · 4 years

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Hi it’s the person “making assumptions”. Not making assumptions, but when I see someone being praised for using a condescending tone in relation to something that I, as a black woman, care deeply about I take issue. Didn’t say people were right to send hate, but his response was poor and misjudged. Just making my judgment off the behaviour I see as we all do. I do expect better from a white guy with power who demeans the legitimate concerns of those who were asking for more politely. Be kinder.

Hi anon, while I appreciate an important discourse, I am surprised that you’ve come to my blog when I see that the same message you seem to have copied and pasted into multiple asks in the skam tag and have gotten support for your claims. just so there’s no confusion, I’ve copied you entire message to Chris below. I’m also kind of riled up today so this will probably be stupidly long.

_Not true, when people with approx 400 followers post links on social media for protests it usually generates 3 more signatures. Imagine if someone like Maxence, with 500k followers, posted a link to a petition. His silence is privilege, his silence is choosing the side of the oppressor. He stands for no one but the white man if he can’t do the bare minimum. Coming from a black girl who works in charity, and knows first hand the impact that social media can have on protesting. Don’t make excuses.

(2) I’m just real tired of white people excusing themselves with “I was learning” (axel) when the black community don’t have a CHOICE. This is our reality, and you’re either with us or against us. Silence means you’ve chosen the side of the oppressor, to paraphrase Desmond Tutu. Not aiming this just at you, but all Skam fans defending their behaviour. It is bad. Don’t excuse white men for being lazy and ignorant.

(3) Maxence wants to scold people for not going to a protest? His tone is condescending, and shows more of his privilege and ignorance. Oftentimes it’s unsafe for PoC and queer people to go to protests. His safety is guaranteed, he’s a straight white man. The whole point of BLM is to fight for the safety of the black community globally, including France which is racist as fuck (Burka ban?!), so for a white guy to not realise why some people don’t go to protests is just ignorance. Educate him.

(4) it’s not shifting responsibility btw. People are allowed, especially minorities, to ask for white people to do their bit. People with large influence should do better, especially if their career is made on a show that supposedly address social problems through TV (mental health, islamophobia, homophobia etc.) you really can’t sit there and scold people for asking for better. Sometimes the language and approach is poor, but the point is often correct. Please think before you defend them.

no one is excusing maxence, especially when he did exactly what you asked: posted a link to a petition for all of his followers to see. that’s not silence. I’m east-asian and I have a masters degree in media studies and communication. while I agree social media can be a great tool, I would argue that posting on it is more of a ‘bare minimum’ than anything else; without anything actionable (petition signing, donating, self-educating, voting) then it’s just virtual signalling. it’s not concrete. since maxence was literally at a protest tonight, he seems to be on the right track with his support. he’s not against you.

the systemic and historical roots of racism around the world are awful. no one denies that, including in france. canada in particular is no exception. I agree that the pasty men of the world have more work to do. but to deny them the time and opportunity to educate themselves seems counterproductive. I’m not sure what sort of timeline you have that everyone must meet, but it takes a long time to learn new things, and longer to unlearn everything you thought you understood about an issue or yourself. I literally have cerebral palsy and I knew so little about disability studies and activism prior to taking a class on it. am I a bad cripple? I didn’t start coming out as bi till last year and don’t do much activism there yet either. am I lazy and ignorant?

more precisely, how are you or I supposed to dismantle racism or oppression without their help? in my opinion, your tone here is equally if not more condescending towards them, and chris. quite frankly, if I were maxence I would’ve probably said something very similar. I don’t know how it feels to be inundated with strangers telling you what to do, and how to feel, and how much of an asshole you were being because of something as ridiculous as instagram posts.

I’m a former teacher of junior high and high school. that’s not education. it’s being a dick because the internet protects you from real repercussion. the person axel replied to wasn’t asking, they were demanding and being rude as hell about it. you’re free to dislike his or maxence’s tone as you will, anon. but you are assuming that maxence doesn’t understand why people may not attend protests. he’s not an idiot; all of s5 of skam fr was dedicated to disability awareness and representation. he literally plays a queer, mentally ill character. pretty sure he has basic human decency and knows not everyone can go marching into physical danger. to call him ignorant because he’s not writing an academic essay in his stories about the struggles of every minority group is a bit of a reach and frankly just mean. you also seem to assume he’s not done anything else because...what? he didn’t post about it?

I also have to disagree with the idea that “sometimes the language and approach is poor, but the point is often correct.” you’re not going to get anyone onside by belittling and insulting them. that’s just a fact. just as you didn’t draw chris onside, you’d never bring maxence if he wasn’t already here, protesting. if you allow all these people on his socials that grace of a poor approach, why do you not give it to maxence in his response? because he’s right. copy/pastes and hashtags are not enough. there is more work to do and everyone’s capable of it. I truly respect your position and I empathize deeply with the enormous struggles that you and your community face daily. you’re free to expect whatever of maxence, but it doesn’t mean you’ll get it. he does not have to document and prove his allyship to anyone. if you’re unhappy with it, then I’d suggest stop following him or blocking his name. venting your anger at other people doesn’t affect him.

your anger at him in general doesn’t really affect me either, despite this essay. you ordering me to do or feel things doesn’t seem kind. but I’ll never have the same stake in this fight as you do, so it’s not up to me to tell you what to do or how to feel. you came into my inbox expecting a response, so here’s mine. I hope that this renewed rage and energy around the world is the turning point of all of this. I’m sorry you even had to send any of these asks in the first place.

#anonymous #a wild ask appears!#skam france #maxence danet fauvel #my eyes hurt lol today was just....so much #skam fr #guys I don't know how the read more ended up IN THE ASK I'M SORRY.

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saltyaro · 5 years

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[Image description: The cover of the 5th book of Aromantic (love) Story. It features a drawn woman in a red tank top, a white skirt that hides her heels, and red high heels shoes. She has her hands on her hips and looks confident.]

You know what I forgot to do? That review on the 5th and last tome of aromantic (love) story. For those who weren’t aware yet, I’m not going to keep the suspense going on any longer: yes, it is safe, no, the heroine doesn’t end up as a straight woman. That’s already a victory in itself, so now all of you can go ahead and buy it if it’s available in your country ;)

The actual review is under the read more, it’s not spoiler free so!

So, Futaba (the main character) tried dating to see if she’s able to develop romance, or not. The person she chose to do so with of course knows about it, and they’re actually both trying it to see if they can understand romance. Futaba still can’t imagine romantic attraction outside of sexual attraction, which frustrates her, because she *knows* allo aces are a thing so obviously, sexual desire isn’t necessarily linked! The viewpoint of her (straight dude) partner-in-crime is...well, not surprising at all, actually. His opinion is that romantic feelings are born of, on one hand, wanting the other person’s happiness, while also wanting to possess them and keep them all to yourself.

This is, well. A very Straight Man™ way of seeing things, but, on the other hand, this point of view isn’t limited to them. (I promise, I’m not going to ramble about how it’s scary that society puts such a violent feeling as the most beautiful and important. Not on this post at least)

Fun note, at least for me, you have the classical “guy is sick, girl brings him medicine” except...Futaba gives him the medicine and just. Leaves. I love her. Well, she ends up going to his apartment, but that’s where her being aro really stands out. Usually, in a basic romcom, everyone’s flushed, and it’s annoying. But Futaba is aro, so she isn’t embarrassed, she just sees someone she cares about being sick and wants to help. She’s very natural and stoic about the whole situation. It may seem like a detail, but honestly I find that so important!

She explains that, when she was a teenager, she avoided men as much as possible (to avoid romance) and I relate. So fucking much. I don’t know if any of you did the same, but with my parents bugging me about boys, I just avoided them as much as possible (with a few exceptions). I didn’t feel unsafe around men yet back then, so I know that’s not what it was.

She explains she was afraid of creating misunderstandings, and ended up not using the world “love” at all because of that. I relate to that so much too, I’m trying to heal from that, and I think it’s important, really important, for us as a community, to learn to separate love from romance. Anyway, this kind of struggle that just...hinders your vocabulary options is really a shame, and I’m glad to see a character mention it (and not be shamed for it!).

Are you ready for some Hetero Bashing™? Because Futaba reunites with her friends and they talk a bit. The Straight dude (Kyosuke) asked Futaba to think about marrying him, and she’s a bit “huuuuuh” so she talks about it to her friends. Friend 1 is like “well, you don’t need to be *in romance* to get married. I have friends, a straight dude and a lesbian, who got married by necessity” and Futaba expresses that she never thought such a thing would happen to her, she never thought of marriage being an option for her. Friend 2 they says that it’s the contrary for her, impossible to avoid the idea of marriage and children, despite not wanting either, because it’s been so ingrained in her head. “you know, the “to perpetuate the specie” argument, like having descendance is every human’s mission...”

And the friend 1 says “ah...the perfect exemple of a notion made by straight people to validate their point of view!” and I love that?? I mean, in general, even in the larger queer community, we’re dancing around the argument, finding proof that there are non-straight animals in all species, and all. She then adds “If reproductions is *that* important...then rich single people could have a ton of kids using articifial fertilization and bingo, they’d have contributed to society’s well-being!” Friend 2 is like “uuuuh, that would raise ethical issues” to what friend 2 answers: “Personally, I kinda reaaally don’t care for lessons of morality from a society that considers sexual minorities and childfree people as useless. If we consider that humanity will necessarily go extinct one day, then mating to reproduce is nothing but a useless cycle”. I really like that take which’s why I *had* to share it despite it being so long to read haha.

Futaba is surprised by her words, so friend 2 explains that friend 1 is worried that a straight guy is going to steal Futaba from them, and she doesn’t want to be abandoned. Friend 1 is bi but that’s a very aro sentiment here tbh.

(Straight bashing, over)

You have the usual meeting with the family...god, how realistic is that, you see your aunt and uncle you haven’t seen in maybe years and the only thing they’re interested in, is whether or not you’ve found a romantic partner. I swear, I got annoyed for the character cause it’s so true. She’s bothered (and I am too) by her grandma’s affirmation that everyones gets married someday. I hate that, it really, really annoys me that I supposedly can’t be free to make my own decisions! But she also knows that it would be useless to explain to her grandma that her words are paternalism, so she lets her be. Because she means well, and maybe that’s the worst thing about amatonormativity and its assumptions...that the people upholding those mean well.

The manga also touches (rapidly) on Futaba feeling of guilt for not being sincere with her family. Her parents aren’t pressuring her to get married, but she knows that seeing their only child, still single, and over 30, is sure to make them worried (especially given she’s not exactly wealthy). I can’t express how much I love seeing a character like that, she knows what she wants, but there’s still this lingering feeling that keeps you from feeling totally at ease, regardless of how much confidence you’ve got. It’s only natural and nothing to be ashamed of.

I think one of my favourite moments of this book - maybe of all the serie? is after Kyosuke’s friends remotivates Futaba by, basically, telling her to do what she always did, fight out of spite, even if that means to accept to sometimes take hits (this happens throught the phone). Kyosuke says to his friend, that he would never have neeb able to say such things to him, and his friend answers that love blinds him, and prevents him from seeing what she really needs. To that, Kyosuke doesn’t answer, and his friend understands immediately and says “That look...maybe you actually nurture this self-deception.”

And I love this moment because, for Futaba to be happy, she needs to be single, and free. From him, and his expectations of romance, because even though he knows, rationally speaking, that she won’t ever feel the same, he still wants her, and still wants to be the one at her side - when no one should be. Not in a partnership way anyway. He’s actually choosing to ignore the rational part of him because he still hopes for her to make the difficult choice, and stay at his side, because it’s not really that he wants her to be happy but rather, that he wants to be the one to make her happy, which is of course, extremely selfish and possessive. I love that it’s just laid here, without ambiguity. What’s great also, is that the straight dude in romo realizes what he’s doing, even if he tries to ignore that. Later in the manga, Kyosuke thinks to himself that he couldn’t help but hope that she would concecede, yield, and accept him, despite knowing that’s not what she needs, and knowing that’s not the way you build a positive relationship. I...don’t know if alloro usually know they’re doing such things? I don’t know what’s worse, to be confident you’re not doing that shit when you’re doing it, or to keep on doing it even though you’re aware.

On a sidenote, I really, really like that she got boosted by the least expected person? They don’t like each other, they’re more or less at each other’s throat most of the time cause he’s sexist and unsentitive, but in the end, he was touched by the anger in the beginnings of her work, and it built a sort of...professional trust between the two of them. Like, those characters won’t ever be friends, but there’s still that little place of trust between them, it’s a delicate portrayal of ambiguous relationships.

Basically, what ends the manga, if the end of Futaba’s own manga (the romantic comedy). And I really like the outlook she has on it, at the end of her 2 years and a half of work. Even though she didn’t want to write such a thing, in the end, she met a lot of people thanks to it, and, through challenging her own vision of relationships and romance, she finally managed to complete her certitude in herself and who she is. I think that’s a lovely parallel.

It also ends her questions, and she rejects Kyosuke (I usually can’t help but laugh when a Straight man gets rejected in fiction I’m an asshole I know). Their conversation is really lovely after that, and challenged the expectations of partnership. Kyosuke asks her if she would have accepted his proposal if, like one year ago, he didn’t feel anything towards her. And her answer is no. She did think about it, imagining their marriage as a fake straight couple, and how she knew that, while it would have asked concessions and sacrifices from both of them, they could have been happy. But what she needs isn’t some stability based on renunciations, but ton confront reality, so she can live in agreement with herself.

Also, the moment after her choice, loneliness and worry strike her, and she acknowledges that feeling, because it’s okay, it doesn’t mean she made the wrong choice. It will pass.

The younger guy who’s also in romance with her, interestingly enough, resolves the situation in a very mature way. He asks her if she’s found her answer, when they’re about to part ways (he’s no longer her assistant), and she says that, yes, she doesn’t feel romance - and he thanks her, for having endured his weirdness all this time, and bids her farewell. And we then have his thoughts - while his decisions, to act that way, was difficult for him, he did so because it was the right thing to do and he realized that insisting would have bothered her. That was nice. The situation is weird for Futaba too, because, as his senior, she kinda felt responsible for him, protective maybe? And she’s a bit overwhelmed by how much this kid’s grown.

There’s an epilogue of sorts, and we can see that Futaba decided to entirely live while being true to herself, which also means making some changes.

To conclude: I really liked this serie! It’s nice to see a woman over 30, finally embracing herself - despite having gone through doubts, even at her age - after making sure she was right about her feelings. She’s, well, asexual I think, but it’s the aro part that matters to her, and really has an influence on her life, the ace part is more of an afterthought. It’s also nice to see a nonamorous aromantic woman! Aro women are already hard to grasp in our amatonormative and migogynistic society, so a nonamorous one probably even more so.

It was overall a really nice experience, I’m not going to say everything was perfect, and her aromanticism is the topic of the story, but Futaba is also her own person and this is never downplayed in favour of talking about her identity. Definitely something too rare and, as such, very enjoyable.

#my post #Aromantic (Love) Story #Aro representation

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villa-kulla · 5 years

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so I saw Avengers Endgame last night, and honestly.....

I actually frickin’ LOVED it haha, I haven’t genuinely enjoyed one of the Avengers ensemble movies that much since the first one. Granted I’m still very sleep-deprived and on a slightly giddy high from how much it exceeded my expectations haha, and once I’ve thought more about it I’m sure I’ll find things to nitpick. But for the time being, I’m still pretty much swooning.

FULL INCOHERENT THOUGHTS/REACTIONS TO SPECIFIC THINGS BELOW THE CUT, AND OFC, ***SPOILERS*****

ONCE AGAIN: ******SPOILERS********

these are just my rambling Emotions about different moments, ostensibly in the order they occurred in the movie, but actually in the order I remember them:

The opening scene: that moment when Clint turned away from his daughter, and then turned back to see just a few remaining ashes floating slowly where she’d been was beautifully shot. Also beautiful: the soft gasp that went around the theatre right when it happened haha

Killing Thanos within the first 10 minutes and breaking the expected formula and thereby thrusting the movie out into unknown waters? lmao WELL PLAYED, ENDGAME <3

Steve picking up Sam’s mantle and running a support group for survivors? flawless move. My heart couldn’t take it

Okay first thing I genuinely didn’t like: “fat Thor” as a punchline. It was so cringey. My friends and I were discussing how that actually COULD have been so great had they explored Thor’s breakdown and PTSD in a meaningful way, and I mean who wouldn’t adore thicc Thor? But instead we got comedic zooms on his beer belly, and yeah. Kudos to Hemsworth for being a gem and making it work but yeah. Nothing wrong with Thor going to seed physically as well as mentally, just wish it hadn’t been played for laughs is all

Tony basically ripping his heart out and putting it in Steve’s hand? I knew my Vintage™ Stony feels were going to resurface and oh boy did they ever haha

Honestly their whole dynamic in the movies works very well if you imagine that they had angsty hate sex that wasn’t actually hate sex at all, and there was the possibility of real feelings there, but for whatever reason they just couldn’t. quite. make. it. work.

That moment with Antman and Hulk’s fans was so genuinely awkward and I could not stop laughing. Paul Rudd is a gift

It only took them 7 years to realize that all fans ever wanted was the Avengers lounging around in hoodies and eating takeout, but it felt all the more earned for it haha

this is silly but it was nice to have a return to Nat’s red hair...sort of lol

TIME HEIST! TIME HEIST! TIME HEIST! TIME HEIST!!

^^^ That was around when I really started settling in like ‘oh this is gonna be good’

the only spoiler I was exposed to was the ‘Steve’s ass finally gets the recognition it deserves’ post, and did it ever

got as close as we’ll get to canonically bi steve rogers and imma take it haha. Checking out your own ass? Legends only (in fact in our post-movie debrief over drinks, our first toast was ‘here’s to bisexual disaster steve rogers’ he time heisted my heart all over again)

and honestly props to them for going the cute nostalgic route by revisiting all the old movies like that, and not trying to be overly ‘dark and gritty’ for the whole thing. It was lovely how they did it, and very appropriate

The ‘Come and get your love’ credits from GotG is like the only concrete thing I even remember from that movie lol, and I was so giddy when it resurfaced

I’ll be honest, I’m so over aliens and space lol, any time one of these movies goes to space I’m basically yawning instantly, I’M JUST NOT INTO IT FOR THESE MOVIES SORRY. So I’m glad the space stuff was kept to a minimum in this haha. The way they do alien civilizations just never really packs a punch for me, with the single exception of...

......NEBULA MY LOVE <3 She was always the most intriguing and raw of any of the characters in those movies for me. Karen Gillan gives her an amazing presence, so I was glad to see her get a good showcase in this one

Oh hi Robert Redford, I definitely wasn’t reading Butch and Sundance fan fiction on the bus to work 12 hours before this movie asdjhgf haha that was a fun surprise

“Hail Hydra” ajshgd FUCKING EPIC OH MY GOD. I couldn’t breathe. That was amazing.

On a much less lighthearted note.......Natasha. Oh god. I really didn’t think they were going to go there with any of the original six but they did. Natasha was my original fave at the tender of 18, I was completely in awe of how Scarlett portrayed her, immediately cut my hair and dyed it red in tribute haha, and claimed her as my OG fave. I adored her, and still adore her. And honestly, I would have been so much more upset about her fate if...it hadn’t been so completely right for her. As much as I hate to say it, what she did was very character-appropriate for her, and really brought her full circle. And sneaky/unexpected to the end omg. That’s my girl. I’m a diehard Black Widow fan, and I think it’s safe to say she definitely wiped out the red in her ledger, if there ever was any left <3

.....that being said, really, no lingering zoom on a photo of her somewhere at the avengers compound? Nothing? The reaction immediately afterwards was well done, but it was kind of awks that it never came back with even a mention lol

Loved the way they did the ‘Guys...I think it worked’ emphasized only by the sound of birdsong. This movie killed it with the quieter moments

And now for something absolutely not quiet:

STEVE!!!

CAUGHT!!!!

THOR’S!!!!

HAMMER!!!!

I HAVE NEVER HEARD A THEATRE COLLECTIVELY LOSE THEIR SHIT LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE

I may have screamed. So. fucking. aces.

Between ‘Hail Hydra’, ‘That is America’s ass’, and lifting the hammer, Steve really owned this movie didn’t he lol

that’s my boy <3

they may have turned steve’s last movie into an avengers movie, but man alive this avengers movie was pretty much steve’s show and he killed every second of it

I’m giddy just thinking about it

And speaking of giddy, everyone’s return.....normally the big final climactic battle scene tends to pale in comparison to nimbler action sequences that happened earlier, but I said giddy and I meant it. They really pulled out all the crown-pleasing stops in it, and it was impossible to nitpick, I had the biggest fucking smile on my face the whole time

AND OH MAN THAT ONE LITTLE MOMENT WITH DR. STRANGE. HOLDING UP ONE FINGER. WHAT A MOMENT. INCREDIBLE. JAW-DROPPING. VISIONARY. TRANSCENDAENT. UPLIFTING. MY HEART SOARED.

Until......THAT MOMENT

“I am Iron Man”

TONY

Oh god

Everyone speculated it would happen, but I didn’t actually think it would. IDK MAYBE I’M JUST NAIVE LOL.

I was actually kind of numb there for a while and I stayed numb until....

“Your dad liked cheeseburgers too”

Yeah there was no recovering after that lol, I was basically a wreck until the end from that moment on

Man...Tony Stark actually died....

As powerful as it was, I don’t really think they had to go there in order to bring the pathos? Idk I have mixed feelings about that choice lol, his big moment was epic but you know what else is epic? Going back to your log cabin to live with your family in peace lol. Idk I’m still not sure how I feel about their choice with that, but maybe it just hasn’t fully hit me yet

Sam as the new Captain America?? A-fucking-men

And this brings us to the ending

the controversial ending which is already causing its own civil war based on what I’ve seen so far haha. And for what my two cents are worth....

I loved it. That was a bold move and I really have to give them props for choosing something risky and unexpected as a conclusion.

That last shot was absolutely beautiful. The moment ‘It’s Been A Long, Long Time’ kicked in I think my breath caught. And that slow zoom in on the window to see Steve and Peggy dancing 11 years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe to a close, and sealing it with a kiss? Gorgeous.

I’m honestly choked up again just thinking about it lol.

And although it’s a small thing, no end credits sequence?? That’s what we call true closure lol, and I think that was what really hammered in the fact that it’s really all over, folks <3

Yes there were some nit-pickable things, some things that could have been better, or came too little too late, and I can’t even BEGIN to wrap my head around the time-travel implications in the conclusion (and I’m not sure we’re supposed to haha). But they took approximately 9000 storylines and characters and managed to represent them in what was actually a genuinely emotional, thoughtful, and entertaining movie that managed to smash the expected formula and the gently pick it back up again to piece together a satisfying, crowd-pleasing, and soaring resolution. Yeah a good deal of the emotional-payoff was already built in what with audiences bringing their own 10-year journeys with these movies to the theatre, and part of my excitement about this movie is definitely tied into the overall pop culture phenomenon itself. But as a movie it exceeded all my expectations, and I’m very satisfied. Thanks, Marvel. It’s been a good run <3

#spoilers #avengers #avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #shares #MY THOUGHTS AND STUFF #and now i need to sleep lol #the movie finished at 10:30 and i had to work the next day but....we HAD to debrief after something like that lol #how could we not #so add another couple hours to a schoolnight outing WHY NOT #i managed a 4 hour catnap before i was up again to go to work #where i wasn't as dead as i thought i'd be #dead now though lol #but yeah i loved it #i went with 2 other diehard marvel fans and at the end we all turned to each other like #'......they pulled it off O':'#and they did <3 #good times

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spiralatlas · 7 years

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GCAP (Game Connect Asia Pacific) 2017 Day 1

I’m in Melbourne for GCAP and PAX Australia, and GCAP started today.

Sadly things were cut short by me BREAKING MY WHEELCHAIR in a DOOMED QUEST FOR A SMOOTHIE. I got a replacement, but it was a hassle and I needed to go rest afterwards. But what I saw of GCAP was good!

Below: descriptions of talks by Steve Gaynor and Karla Zimonya (creators of Gone Home and Tacoma) and by David Gaider (narrative designer on Dragon Age), plus misc other conference things.

There were three introductions, all about How Great The Melbourne Games Scene Is and how Everyone Is Friends And Awesome.

Keynote: Steve Gaynor and Karla Zimonya from Fullbright Games: The names didn't mean much to me but then I realised THEY'RE THE PEOPLE WHO MADE GONE HOME AND TACOMA :D

The theme of GCAP this year is The Ripple Effect, and the theme of this talk was how people connect and affect each other.

Steve and Karla met as part of the team for Bioshock 2. Karla was a researcher, and Steve a level designer, and when they were in those roles they didn't interact. But they both finished their assigned tasks and asked around for other things that needed doing, which led them both to the massive task of writing all the little bits of extra dialogue around things like what enemies say when they attack, flavour text on objects, optional little stories told through random audio diaries etc. They made a great team (Steve as writer and Karla as editor) and got really into it. I think you can totally see how this grew into their later approach to games.

The company 2KMoran being willing to let them develop like this was part of them being a good company, with many ex-employees who have gone on to make interesting games.

Steve then got to design his own DLC, and went I MUST BRING IN KARLA. And after they did that, and Bioshock 2 was done, they created Fullbright and started working on Gone Home.

At some point Steve encountered some cool Bioshock fanart and became mutuals with the artist on twitter. Since she was a lesbian, he asked her if she'd be up for discussing things to help with the game. She brought along her wife for an extra point of view. The wife turned out to be a 3D artist, and both of them ended up hired to work on the game.

David Gaider: Creating a World and Making it Stick

So this was like 50% general advice and 50% morality tale about the Hubris Of The Writer Who Thinks His Worldbuilding Stands Alone.

Basically he created all the basic Thedas worldbuilding by himself, then told the rest of the team, and worked with his writers, and never checked in to make sure the game worked as a whole until it was Far Too Late.

He was trying to create a relatively grounded, dark, realistic story...and the art team was making orcs and bikini armour. He had lore about the mages being too oppressed to learn offensive spells or do anything flashy in public, while the gameplay team was implementing fireballs, and specialisations like Reaver which were not connected to the worldbuilding at all. And by the time these incompatibilities became apparent everyone was committed and refused to budge. So the final game is a hodge podge of inconsistent parts that all make sense individually but don't fit together.

Now my general notes:

He scrawled out the original Thedas map on paper the same way he would for a D&D game (his original draft looked very Middle Earth-ish in style), expecting someone who knew geography would go through and fix the rivers at some point. They did not.

One lesson he learned is that you can't just throw pages of worldbuilding at people and expect them to both read and be engaged with it. You have to have a "razor", a short description of the core of the game, and make sure everyone understands what it is. Anything that doesn't fit the razor gets cut. For example, DA2 had themes of The Price of Freedom, Family, and All Things Change. And you have to sell them on why your worldbuilding elements are interesting, and what makes them cool. Once the art team understood what darkspawn were they got invested and redesigned them to not just be orcs.

Remember to feel: Don't just come up with the history of your city: what is it like to visit, is it loud and friendly and sunny or oppressively silent?

Pick your battles: choose the parts of your worldbuilding you really value and emphasise those, be willing to let the others go, especially if it’s to follow changes that make the game more fun. The game being fun is the final aim, your worldbuilding is just a tool to get there.

He got confused by his cursor a lot :)

One good thing about the DAO worldbuilding is that he didn't know where it would be set at first, so worked out all the history for everywhere, and that added lots of depth.

Names are the devil, totally subjective so everyone argues about them and hates any new suggestion. Many names for DAO were bandied about, like "Chronicle". He has a rule to never put Shadow, Dark or Blood in a list of possible names or the publishers will go THAT ONE.

His two rules: 1) People aren't allowed to complain about a name unless they have a better suggestion. 2) Wait six months. Chances are people will be used to it and not mind any more.

When the Grey Wardens were first suggested they were supposed to be pretty minor, based off the rangers in Tolkein. So they got named the White Rangers, but that was too similar, so White Wardens, but that wasn't morally grey enough, so: Grey Wardens! Which was fine until they turned out to be important, people suggested "cooler" names like Blood Knight Brotherhood/Lords of War/Disciples of Pain (not sure if he was joking) but he waited six months and took a vote and lo, the old name stuck.

Track your changes.

Have an elevator pitch (not the same as the razor) If you can't come up with one your concept needs work.

Question your biases. He was originally inspired by Middle Earth and D&D, and his own ideas of Medieval Europe...all of which are way too white. Some of this could be fixed in later games, but the world he created closed off a lot of possibilities (he didn't say any examples but I guess he meant, like, Africa and Asia equivalents)

When he took inspiration from Jews and Romani for the elves he thought he was being very clever, and only later realised that this created all sorts of unfortunate implications, since now anything that happens to elves seems like a statement about those cultures.

He was happily surprised to be able to include bi characters in DAO.

The writers were all pretty happy with how they'd handled gender in DAI, then the Voice Over person was like "why are the vast majority of our lines for men?" and they realised they'd all made most of their background characters men for no reason.

At the start it's hard to walk the line between a long, boring, exposition heavy intro, and players getting confused by lack of explanation. (It felt like he wished players would just be smarter lol) He said "If DAO had started at Ostagar then the PC's backstory would have felt irrelevant" which made me think "So like DAI?".

Players have to know why to care about an event before it happens, or the emotional reaction will fall flat.

When you introduce the first member of a group, they should be fairly typical so the player gets a feel for the default. For example, Sten is a pretty typical Qunari. Only after that can you introduce outliers like The Iron Bull.

Every main character the player interacts with (for a RPG, the party members) should represent a different interesting facet of the worldbuilding.

They didn't think DAO would get sequels, and thus had those wildly differing epilogues. He isn't sure he'd change letting the player died, since it was a cool moment. But it was certainly inconvenient to deal with later.

They had a rough idea of how the history of Thedas would continue after DAO "but no plan survives contact with the enemy, in this case I guess that's EA" loll

Having player decisions affect so much has been a bit of a nightmare.

Card tricks in the dark: if you do something clever and the player doesn't notice, it doesn't matter.

If the enemies drink potions and it's not obvious they're doing it, it just looks like the AI is cheating. If a choice affects the plot but this fact isn't made clear, players will just think that's how the plot always goes. Need to heavily lampshade that this is the consequence of that choice. And keeping track of all the possibilities gets ridiculous with characters like Alistair, who can be any one of dead/king/a drunk etc.

The players who DO pay attention to these changes tend to want way more reactivity than is practical. So nobody is impressed. And most new players found the save game editors confusing and off putting. He thinks perhaps it would be better to have a smaller number of major choices.

He's not going to judge other writers but the HUGE changes at the end of the Mass Effect trilogy mean they can now no longer set anything in that galaxy again.

Question time!

Something about the process leading to Krem being written. He talked about the bad stuff previously, and them realising they'd screwed up. A trans fan on the forums said "Could we have a trans character who isn't a sex worker or the butt of a joke?". They got jumped on, but the team read it and went "Oh."

Gaider wrote Maevaris in the comics, talked to a trans woman friend about it. One of the other writers was working on Kress...*audience shouts KREM* and he seemed a bit boring so he got made trans, since it added some interest and fitted in well with the worldbuilding about the Qun etc.It would have been better with a trans voice actor but they couldn’t find one.

What program is best for explaining stuff to the art team etc early on: Biowre had a sort of Grey Box level for playing through choices, but something like twine is good, just to test pacing. (not sure this actually answers the question asked)

Are there any genres you would like to work on but haven't: Yes :D :D But he can't tell us about it yet :D :D

He got sick of high fantasy after ten years. Would look longingly at Mass Effect sometimes just for a change but then they would implode and he'd think"Actually I'm fine".

Off the top of his head: Victorian London, finding husbands for your girlfriends while fighting zombies and also it's a Western?

Misc other things: I didn't make it to any more talks because Wheelchair, but met some cool people, and played some of the student games on display. My favourite was a time travel murder mystery called Lacuna where you have to connect clues. Apparently I was way better at it than most people :D I also actually enjoyed one of the puzzle platformers (I forget the name but it's about a little grumpy blue hexagon), which is a pretty big achievement.

GCAP has a "food intolerances station" with special food options and knowledgeable staff which was pretty great. Morning tea was just various gluten free biscuits, but for lunch there was poached chicken and salmon and various plain chopped vegetables, as well as dressed salads and gluten free bread and dessert. I could eat about 1/3 of it which is pretty good odds, I ended up happier than my partner who doesn’t have as many intolerances but just didn't like any of the food options.

#gcap 2017 #gcap #migw 2017 #game dev #david gaider #indie game dev #conferences #dragon age #fullbright #gone home

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nerdygaymormon · 7 years

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My Eulogy

Hi. My name is David. You probably already know that. This is my story. And like all stories, it’s subjective; meaning I chose what to include based on my own feelings and opinions. I’ve had a lot of nicknames: D Diddy, Master D, Double D, D Dog, and Chuck (short for Chuckles). Isn’t it weird that Dave was never my nickname? I guess I should start at the beginning. I was born in Alberta, Canada in November 1970. My parents wed in February of that year…you can do the math. My dad once told me that he and my mom each brought a lot to the marriage, but that’s what it was, two people with their own histories. He said I am the first result of their marriage, the thing which changed them from two people into one unit, a family. I always liked that thought. My earliest memory is when my mom, with tears in her eyes, told me and my sister that Jesus is important to her, wanted us to learn about Him. I also remember her speaking on the phone and saying that our reaction was basically “Yep, we know, we learn about Him at church.” I went to kindergarten in California. I had a teacher named Ms. Berry, but I called her Ms. Strawberry. One day a bunch of dads came and taught us skills. I was so excited my dad was there and showed us how to hammer nails. I still feel comfort and love when I remember laying in the top bunk at night as my dad vacuumed the bedroom, and how he’d look over at me and smile. At the age of 8, I was baptized by my dad in Alabama. My family moved a lot. I don’t really know why. Thinking back on Halloweens, the one candy I always dreaded getting was those peanut butter-flavored sticky candies that come wrapped in orange or black wax paper. Who even likes those? If someone out there does, you gotta be the KING of Halloween candy trading. “Hey, you like these? Here, I’ll trade you them for that mini Snickers and a Blow Pop.” “Okay, fine, I’ll take just the two Hershey kisses. At least I got SOMETHING for them.” I began Junior High in Texas. It was horrible. I knew I liked boys in a way other boys didn’t. I tried to hide that from everyone, even from me. Eighth grade was the worst. I wanted to die. Some of the guys in my gym class caught me sneaking glances at a dude in the shower. That got around the school and I was shamed and harassed. One person was especially hard on me, not just about that, but about everything. I faced him in a wrestling match and was determined to get him back. I dominated, all I needed was for him to bend his elbow and he’d be pinned. I pressed down hard and…Snap! That crack of his bone was loud. He immediately went limp in my arms. I felt sick to my stomach. I really hurt him. I also felt joyful vengeance. I’d been good at wrestling, but I stopped. I didn’t like the monster I saw I could become. So school sucked. And scouting, I hated it, and we did that every Wednesday at church. Like the school day wasn’t already bad enough and then scouts on top of it. Oh, there was one really cool thing that happened related to scouts. In church we had a lesson that the quorum president is the leader, the adults were there to guide but the power rested with us. The quorum president said, “In that case, we’re done with scouting.” He asked if the rest of us sustained. We voted to end scouting! Unfortunately my dad and a few others didn’t take that well and I was forced to go to a different scout program in the stake. One of the bright spots of my Junior High & High School years were piano lessons. I excelled with a teacher who was quick to praise, which helped boost my very bruised self-image. Developing your gifts and talents isn’t selfish, it’s actually a great gift to other people. Another bright spot were my friends. If you’re hearing this and you are a teenager, reach out to the youth around you. No matter how nice the leaders are, they can’t make up for feeling left out by other teens. Trust me. At some point I realized a lot of our culture honors those who stand up against the norms, admires those who live life on their own terms. I made a list of 5 actions, actually non-actions, I would take to make me different. 1) Not go to Prom 2) Not go to Homecoming 3) Not get a driver’s license 4) Not go to graduation 5) No open house when I leave for a mission. I didn’t tell anyone about this list and my poor dad, he would get excited for these things, like Prom, and get me a tuxedo only to be bewildered I wasn’t going. I kept 4 of those 5 stupid, pointless goals. My parents did make me get a driver’s license so they could stop carrying me to 6am seminary class. I didn’t realize until too late, the point of being different is to replace frivolous things with something deeper, better, more meaningful. I loved art class even though my grades were so-so. One day my art teacher asked me to explain the print I made, what was my thinking behind the design. After listening, she said the skills of how to use the different tools and materials can be learned and that my classmates are all better at using them. But I have something they don’t have, something that can’t be taught. Art comes from the head and heart, it requires creativity and a different way of viewing things, of having something to say, a story to share. What I heard was my classmates were all better, I was the worst. Later I understood what she meant. She’d actually given me the greatest compliment of my life. I have something worth sharing, I just need to learn how. After years of crying for God to fix me, to make me normal, I eventually accepted that a homo is what I am. I didn’t choose it, in fact had fought it. I guarded this knowledge, it was dangerous. But owning this is part of me gave me power even as it complicated church and my life. Church is where my friends were and it was okay except when terrible things were taught about people like me. Why do we let harmful words go unchallenged? Hearing bigoted, intolerant words really feels isolating. I know it’s hard to stand out and be different, to rock the boat. But doing nothing, being silent—to the person feeling attacked, it’s not viewed as neutral. Choosing not to speak up is taking sides. Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes. Immediately after high school, I got arrested, actually spent time in jail. Shocking, right? I shoplifted a shirt. That’s sort of a harsh punishment, don’t you think? Fortunately a plea deal was made and I avoided a criminal record. I’ve paid this forward, twice I’ve agreed for charges against a young adult to be dropped so they could have a second chance at a clean record. When my bishop called me in to talk about preparing for a mission, I went home and prayed hard. I asked if God loves me, loves me for who I am, all that I am. Warmth radiated across my body. I knew with certainty that I’m loved and I am not broken. Serving a mission in Korea is one of the great adventures of my life. I learned so much about myself. I rose to the challenge. I worked hard and made some life-long friends. Weekly service at orphanages really buoyed me, I loved playing with those kids. While I was in Korea, at a branch conference, the members voted to not sustain their branch presidency. In other words, they voted out their branch leaders! I didn’t even know that was possible. I mean, yes, we get to vote, but it’s always more of a formality. I hadn’t realized we have power. The name of our church indicates this is the case. It’s the church of Jesus Christ AND it’s the church of the latter-day Saints. In brief, here is the top highlight of my mission. I met a man at a bus stop. I was going to give him a Book of Mormon, but a voice in my ear very clearly whispered not to. Twice that happened. The third time I was reaching to get a book out of my bag to give to him despite that voice. My arm froze and the voice said if I gave him the book, the consequences would be on my head. Message received loud and clear, no book given away that night. He eventually got baptized, and I was still in Korea a year later when he got married. Receiving the phone call from him that he was being sealed to a wife in the temple was the happiest day of my mission. Hearing that voice in my ear would happen again and again over the years. Not very often, but always significant. I’ll include a few more examples. Next I was off to college, which I loved! In January 1993 I arrived in Idaho to attend Ricks College (now it’s called BYU-Idaho). I’ve never been so cold my entire life. If I walked outside with wet hair, it’d freeze! My first roommate was soooo handsome. The girls called him “Ken” because he reminded them of Barbie’s boyfriend. We became great friends. I had a crush on him. At the end of the semester he told me he’s bi and our relationship changed. I was willing to leave behind church and family to be with him. He decided his life would be easier if he pursued a relationship with a woman and so left me behind in Idaho. After “Ken,” my next roommate was Futoshi from Japan. He became my best friend. Many years later I attended his wedding in Japan. In fact, our tradition is to send each other a package of Halloween treats (and no, I’ve never sent him those terrible black-and-orange wrapped candies). I was walking down the sidewalk at Ricks College and a voice in my ear whispered I should call Memo from Mexico to be my 1st counselor in the elders quorum presidency. “Yes,” I thought to myself, “he’s an excellent choice.” Wait. What?!! MY counselor? That night I got a phone call, I was the new Elders Quorum president. Half the ward was in my quorum (the other half were women). I visited with each person in the quorum every month. I liked them. I knew them all. Ah, Rexburg, home of BYU-Idaho. Does anyone know if they ever renamed Beaver Dick Park? So many unfortunate (or fortunate, if you know what I mean) double entendres. After Ricks, on I went to BYU in Utah. Futoshi came, too. I wanted to date and kiss and all the things my friends did, except with men, and that was explicitly banned by the Honor Code, even things like holding someone’s hand was out of bounds. I feared the Honor Code Office, they sometimes ran undercover stings trying to catch gay students. While in Provo, I had a faith crisis. Being in the heart of Mormondom, I had access to information that showed a different sort of story than I’d been taught in Sunday School, like the way Joseph Smith translated the gold plates. What to do with this messy history? How do I fit into the Plan of Salvation? Retaining faith, in many ways, is a choice to accept the complexity, to give up black & white for nuance. As for me, I hold on to the times I’ve seen God’s love, mercy, and justness come through the lives of flawed individuals who learn to measure up and do profound things. While a student at BYU, I got a job at the Missionary Training Center (MTC) teaching Korean to missionaries. I loved it. That place is a spiritual powerhouse and I was able to plug in every day. And I was there when my brother came to the MTC as a new missionary. I was able to eat lunch with him every week. And what’s funny is the missionaries I was teaching knew he was my brother and every morning would give me a report on what they’d seen him doing. So at Friday lunch I was always able to say things like: “Elder, I hear you were throwing snowballs.” He’d always respond “How can you possibly know that?” “The Lord sees all, Elder.” Working at the MTC meant, like the two years of my mission, I was back to wearing a white shirt nearly every day. When I stopped working there, I threw away all my white shirts and never looked back. Wearing colorful shirts in this church is unusual for men. It was a way to mark myself as different; a way to show my experience and journey is not the same as those around me. When someone at the podium looks out and sees a purple shirt, I want them to think, “Oh, there’s David.” Yes, see me, notice me! I matter, I belong. Please see I’m doing my best and even if I am different, I am here. I have 6 brothers and sisters. They married and had babies. Those nieces and nephews are the greatest blessings in my life. I thought I’d be a good dad, but I am gay and marriage equality didn’t come until too late. So I was the best uncle, involved in their lives, making sure they know they’re loved. One thing I like about kids is they ask really personal and fundamental questions. “What’s your favorite color?” Mine is yellow. Isn’t it a lovely color, so warm and inviting. All the different shades from cream and pastel to golden or bright sunshine, yellow is beautiful. Learning to play the piano, speak a language, ride a skateboard, drive a stick-shift car, ride a bike, hit a ball or most any other skill will require mistakes, thousands of them, maybe even hundreds of thousands. It can be embarrassing. Give yourself credit for trying. Attempting something that is challenging is what you should take pride in, not ashamed that I didn’t do it perfectly the first time, or every time. I don’t know why I’ve stayed in church all these years. That’s not true. But it is complicated and this doesn’t seem to be the time to get into it, I’m trying to tell my story. The anti-gay restrictions are strict and do a number on a person’s mental health. I wish my church and my orientation were more compatible. I don’t think God finds them incompatible. In fact, He loves me in a way my church is only just learning to do. I’ve spent more of my adult years in Primary (what we call junior Sunday School) than anywhere else. They even got me to serve as an assistant scoutmaster over the 11-year-old patrol. I couldn’t believe of all the things, it had to be scouts. I was determined that it was going to be fun for those scouts even as we were being productive, not how I experienced it. Those scouts were a joy to be with. One of them often said things like, “Knives? They NEVER let us play with knives in cub scouts.” “Hey, if I see you playing with it, game over. These are tools, not toys.” At the end of the day, I’m my longest commitment, it’s only proper that I make myself a priority. I went back to school and earned a Master’s degree from the University of Florida (Go Gators!). That was hard work. That degree helped me land a job at a university. I love working in an environment that is open and accepting. I also really appreciate knowing my efforts are going towards the university’s mission of gathering, applying and disseminating knowledge. And it’s fun to work somewhere with a fight song and a mascot, I recommend it. When my grandma died, I played a piano piece at the funeral. Afterwards a lady came up and thanked me for all the years I spent practicing, sitting there alone at a piano when I could’ve been doing something more fun. What an unusual compliment, she put thought into it, and I appreciated the recognition that playing on that day didn’t just happen. That’s how life is, you’re preparing now for things you don’t even know are on your horizon. Try to be the best you can be. My favorite hero of fiction is TRUTH. I just think a great novel contains life’s important lessons and meaning wrapped in entertaining adventures and mysteries. Harry Potter & Huckleberry Finn not only transport us to another place, but leave us with deeper understandings. I love Harry Potter. Those books and movies teach so many important life lessons, some in a straightforward way and others you have to think about. Here’s a for instance, we learn that the thing Neville fears most is Professor Snape. This kid went to class for years with that professor. No wonder the Sorting Hat put him in Gryffindor; he was one of the bravest characters. Aren’t we all brave in this way, at least sometimes? I was asked to be a counselor in the stake young men presidency. I turned them down. It took two hours of convincing before I agreed to give it a try. I said they had the wrong guy and in six months when they recognized it, they could release me, no hard feelings. I couldn’t imagine that I’d have anything to offer. Turns out it was the right calling for me. I feel like I blossomed. I was no longer just existing, merely surviving in this church. At one point, a voice whispered in my ear that I was going to be stake young men president and I am an unusual choice and would only serve a short time. I knew by “unusual” that meant because I’m gay. I started thinking of how I’d do things differently if I were in charge. Six months later I became president and I had a plan and hit the ground running. One way I was a different kind of Stake Young Men President is I applied my experience from when I was an Elders Quorum President all those years ago, of how I used to talk with everyone each month. As stake young men president, I visited every ward at least monthly, usually twice a month. This meant every month I had contact with nearly every young man in the stake, and many of the young women, too. It was a pleasure to work with the ward young men presidents, bishops put top-shelf people in those positions. I really liked getting to know the youth. I tried to be protective of teens who struggle. I want them to know they are seen, they are loved, and there is hope. Turns out a short time was exactly one year. I was very sad to be released, my church life had found meaning. When my stake president told me “with every calling comes a release,” I blurted out, “But I just bought a Chewbacca shirt for the Star Wars dance!” “Well, wear it on casual Friday,” was his response. I was asked to be the secretary to the stake president. It’s a lot of work, definitely not a favorite calling; I’d rather be back in Primary. He said many people could make appointments, but he wanted me to be stake executive secretary so my viewpoint is present in all the top councils of the stake. I attend stake presidency meeting and some of those meetings go on and on. “Dear Lord, as we begin this meeting, please help us not to be bored. And for them to keep their stories to a minimum so we can get out of here at a decent hour.” I’ve thought about praying for those things, although never was brave enough to actually do it. One night it was late, and the stake president asked who can say a short prayer. My hand shot up so fast! Early one chilly Florida morning, I was grumbling about how cold the steering wheel was as I’m in the McDonald’s drive-thru lane. I saw a man walk out the side door, past my car, to the homeless man sitting directly ahead of me. The homeless guy had no blanket or hat, just a sweatshirt for warmth. His reaction at receiving a cup of hot coffee and a warm sandwich really touched me. I was ashamed. Why wasn’t I more like that guy? I talk a good game, but true religion requires action. The world needs more Christ-like love like that. Sometimes I wonder if the things I hear at church align with the God I know. Does it fit with the two great commandments to love God and to love one another? I try to focus on the love, that is God’s primary attribute and the one I try to emulate. If your heart ever tells you that something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. Over the years, if I’d read a story or seen a video about someone who is gay & LDS (or even formerly LDS), I sometimes tried contacting them. I never got a response. I have a blog where I write about being gay & Mormon. I wrote about an experience I had when I got to meet a church leader, Elder Joaquin Costa of the Seventy. The whispering voice prompted me to tell him I’m gay and he showed me a great deal of love. That blog post went viral. If you want to see it, do a search for “Nerdy Gay Mormon”. Because of my viral blog post, I was contacted by many people, hundreds of them. And I responded. It’s been incredibly rewarding. For the first time I had actual friends who are LGBTQ+ and LDS. I think if the teenage me who contemplated suicide could see how my life developed, he’d be surprised at how much better the future turned out. A job I like, the favorite uncle of 14, I am well liked across my stake and make a positive contribution. I’ve lived through a difficult but special time to be gay in the Church as it’s been transforming. Wanna hear something funny, one time at church my little nephew said, “I’m hungry. How much longer to the snackrament?” Life doesn’t wait until we’re perfectly prepared and feel totally up for what’s ahead of us. In fact, life is messy. It’s not been an easy path, but it’s been MY path. Being gay in a time of unacceptance helped me gain empathy for others. I’ve tried to be a good and kind person. Living within the restrictions placed on me by my church; it’s been difficult. I’ve tried to make a mark on the world. My one great regret in life is not having children. Even so, Primary teachers and scout leaders are important to children. I may not be the main gardener in anyone else’s life, but I nurture and water others. There’d be some pretty meager gardens without people like me. If you’re hearing this and are queer, I have a message for you. Being gay or trans or whatever is not a sin, it is not the result of a lack of faith, it is not a punishment. God created you and me as glorious, eternal beings. I am a son of God. I am gay. I am known and loved by Him. He is rooting for me. If the choice comes down to suicide or your church, choose to live. Protect your mental health by taking a break from religion. God created you. You determine if this will be a blessing or a curse in your life. Enjoy it. And to everyone, be kinder and gentler. Leave the enforcing of church boundaries, of judging, up to the bishop. Don’t tell a kid that he shouldn’t be wearing that or commenting that “someone” smells of cigarettes. If this is God’s church, then there should be room for all His children, all should feel welcome. Mormons have a way of obsessing over details that don’t matter. I wish we spent more time obsessing on how to love. That’s it! It feels like this story needs an ending, a concluding sentence, something snappy. I hope I have time to think of a good one.

#tried not to be preachy or boring #hope my personality comes thru #included some life lessons #hope this isn't needed for many years #I've never heard a eulogy like this

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ramajmedia · 5 years

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10 Jokes From The Parks & Rec. That Have Already Aged Poorly

For six years we were totally enthralled in the behind-the-scenes look at Pawnee, Indiana's government; more specifically, the Parks and Recreation Department. With Ron Swanson and Leslie Knope leading the way, fans of the show followed a whirlwind of character development, outdated portrayals of women in the workplace, and an array of some pretty outlandish jokes.

Now, with many geniuses in the writing room and seven seasons on their belt, Parks and Rec. was a hit; but within just four years of the show's last season, some of their jokes are falling flat. What was once deemed laughable and "okay" for TV is slowly fading away. While not every fan of the show is offended by these 10 jokes, some fans have showed their disdain for them on message boards, thanks to more serious advances in our culture like the #MeToo Movement and issues revolving around green cards.

These jokes are surely up for debate among fans but they're definitely ruffling a few feathers.

10 WHEN LESLIE ASSUMES TOM'S FROM INDIA

In the second season, we're given the episode "The Stakeout." It's date night for Ann and Mark but Leslie can't enjoy the night off because she's too upset and consumed by the fact that her BFF is going on a date with her crush. After hiding in a van for hours looking out after Ann and seeing if they can catch an intruder in the community garden, Leslie and Tom try to get to know each other more.

RELATED: Parks & Rec: 10 Episodes That Actually Tackled Deep Issues

Considering Tom is a man of color, fans are continuously upset at characters on the show of assuming Tom Haverford is from anywhere other than America simply because of his heritage. While in the back of the van, Leslie assumes he came here from "somewhere else." He tells her he was born and raised in South Carolina but she isn't satisfied with his answer and alludes to him being born elsewhere. The moral of the story here is why couldn't Tom be born in America just because his family came from somewhere else?

9 WHY IS A SEX CHANGE SEEN AS LAUGHABLE?

Once Andy finds out that he and April have feelings for each other, he tries to win her over (regardless of that one, small kiss with Ann). However, she tries to move on with another man who speaks little English. After Andy says something to the couple, April's boyfriend asks what he said. “He says he wants to become a woman," she says, and her boyfriend dies laughing.

Uh, in what way is a sex change laughable? Although the joke was done in jest, someone being transgendered shouldn't be seen as a joke.

8 WHEN TOM WAS TREATED AS A SERVANT

Also in the second season, the Parks and Recreation Department is gearing up to welcome visitors from Venezuela in "Sister City." According to quite a few threads, many people were offended by this episode due to the stereotypical nods and insults coming from another culture.

For starters, when the Venezuelan team arrives in Pawnee, they instantly think Tom is a servant because he's a man of color... To make things even more uncomfortable, they want to choose Donna as their female companion for the night due to her size and color as well.

Leslie, the leader of the pack, should have protected her team, but instead told Tom to be a "good host" after he was asked to collect their bags. Come on, Leslie!

7 JERRY'S RAP JOKE...

It's not very often where Jerry offends us. The poor man is just trying to get by without drawing attention to himself. Nevertheless, in one camping episode, Tom asks Jerry, "What do Jay Z, Lil Wayne, and Drake all have in common?". In response, Jerry quickly says "Oh, I know this one... They are all rap-ists." Not only was Jerry incredibly insensitive but he was extremely judgemental. The short, quick answer is: They're all rappers, Jerry!

6 WHEN LESLIE SAYS SHE'S FOR EQUALITY BUT THEN DEGRADES A STRIPPER

Now that Tom is finally divorced from his green-card marriage, Leslie tries to cheer him up by the only way she knows how: taking him to a strip club. And although she says she's a feminist and that her stripper name would Equality, she actually does the opposite which upset a few viewers.

After meeting Sierra (a stripper), she ignores her name and calls her Seabiscuit — even after being corrected twice. Furthermore, she tries to tell Sierra to rethink her life choices which is kind of against the whole women-support-women-thing.

5 THE FACT THAT BEN CAN'T COMPREHEND HOW JERRY LANDED GAYLE

News flash, Ben: everyone is deserving of love!

It's understandable that Parks and Recreation wanted to show another side to Jerry, considering he was bullied every day in the office. It made fans happy knowing he had a wife and three girls waiting for him at home every day after work.

RELATED: Parks And Rec: 5 Times Everyone Was Actually A Good Friend To Jerry (&5 Times They Were Too Mean)

As we know, Jerry isn't the most text-book attractive guy on earth, but his wife is a total bombshell. Ben (most of all) can't seem to fathom how Jerry landed such a knockout and says so multiple times throughout the seasons. "Was she temporarily blind?", he asks. "Like... was she a Russian spy and the KGB forced her to marry Jerry as a cover?", he says another time. Fans found his reactions harsh because it plays into the stigma of "larger" guys not being able to find love or happiness.

4 JEAN-RALPHIO'S SCEMES DIDN'T MAKE EVERYONE LAUGH

Jean-Ralphio. Fans either love him or hate him. As Tom Haverford's best friend, Jean-Ralphio seems to always have a 'get rich quick' scheme. He's a con artist of sorts and everyone can see this except for his father who refuses to believe his children are life suckers.

RELATED: 5 Things Parks & Rec Does Better Than The Office (& Vice Versa)

While many fans are offended by Ralphio, he crosses the line when he sees Ben conversing with Chris. "Are you ding dongs making fake drugs for sophomores, because if true, this guy wants in!" he says. Fans always knew Jean-Ralphio was greasy but to become a fake drug dealer for kids? Too far, man.

3 April's Gay Jokes Fall Flat

April is a very dark person who speaks in a monotone voice day-in and day-out, but she is low-key accepting deep down. Early on we find out that April is in a relationship with two gay men. Fans of the show figured April was "allowed" to get away with some of her demeaning jokes because she was in a polyamorous relationship, but that's not always respectful.

After inviting Ben out one night, he declines due to having a date. "Oh, what's his name?" April replies, which insinuates Ben is gay and she's poking fun at him for it. Likewise, Tom also drops some "jokes" about his metrosexuality — especially when he was opening his store, Rent-a-Swag. "We're not even close to being ready, they're not even done painting that sign. It says 'Tom's bi.' Actually, no that's a good sign." The offense with Tom's joke is that those who are bi or gay love fashion and are more likely to shop, which is another stereotype.

2 WHEN THE BEAUTY PAGEANT IS JUDGED BY MEN WHO ONLY CARE ABOUT ONE THING

In "Beauty Pageant," Pawnee is hosting a local beauty pageant to award the winner with a cash-prize. Due to needing money, April decides to join and Leslie praises her for it because she's not the "average" beauty. After hearing there's a pageant in town, Tom rushes to his phone to make some calls to try and become a judge.

RELATED: Parks & Rec: April Ludgate’s 10 Most Badass Quotes

Not only is he insensitive to another culture while trying to increase his personal gain ("Just bump that clown, tell them they already have an Asian judge"), but he's also a creep and confirms what most male judges think. Excited by the news of being a judge, he tells Leslie, "I had to make some favors. But if you don't make some favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades then what the [heck] are you calling favors for?" *Sigh*

1 The LGBTQ+ Community Was Not Pleased With The Penguin Episode

In the very first episode of season two, Leslie decides to marry two penguins at the Pawnee Zoo because she thought it was a cute gesture. After it turned out the two penguins were male, Leslie was thrown into a 'do you or don't you support gay rights' screaming match. Unfortunately, the LGBTQ+ communtity was upset that Leslie never took a strong stance. She only wanted the attention of the gay community because they were chanting her name. While at a gay bar, April chimes in, "She’s Leslie Knope and she wants to recruit you!”, which plays right into the stereotype that young gays "recruit" others instead of accepting the fact that they were born that way.

NEXT: Parks And Rec: 5 Reasons We Want To Work For The Pawnee Parks And Recreation Department (& 5 We Don't)

source https://screenrant.com/10-jokes-parks-rec-already-aged-poorly/

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myheartbeatskids · 5 years

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If you're deeply offended about what i write now... Not because if what I am going to say what happened but because you don't think I understand and have some sort of anti gay agenda. Remove your head from your ass, wipe the shit off and try again.

And if you read this and think you weren't good enough or aren't good enough. Put your Tumblr down and go for a walk and take a bubble bath, listen to some music, watch TV, talk to a friend, and most importantly love yourself and be thankful God set you in a different road and you were lucky enough to avoid extra torture.

Then come back, skip the first paragraph and allow yourself to feel pride in who I now write about.

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

Harry is certain that Mike made his kids gay and he wanted to know why and how.

I asked him to not bring that up and not try to talk about it until we can sit down and talk to them.

I have much understanding about gay people and why they are. Yet I allow them to be.

Harry agreed that it is the children's choice as to why they are able to believe that and also it is okay for them to choose to continue being gay, bisexual or if they desired to try hetro and liked it or didn't or then decided to be bi.

Whether or not they were born gay wasn't an issue. If they believe that then they do and until we sat down with them and asked them would we know that is how they feel.

I have amnesia and so to be told something you believe to be absolute and concrete is not good. It's the most difficult.

I choose to write this because i have hd a conversation that was not started by me but by the children i write about.

So please do Understand this is actually something that has already happened.

And also understand that I still feel the same. Gay, straight, bi. In love with pans, IDC. I'm not trying to fuck the world nor see what is in their pants so I do not care except only that they are happy and in love with whom they choose to be with and that they are not being abused.

And i feel that way about strangers. Yet.

I know they live their own life and will learn it not learn. I am not their God. Nor do I have to forgive them for wanting to live. Nor do i have to care who or why they fuck or if they don't. And in all. I would prefer not to know about other people's sex lives!!

Anyways.

So Derek was talkin to me and he was all I am learning a huge thing now. About fear.

And I realized, as Patten had been complaining about how he was so hurt an depressed that Mike took away his kids. And forever probably, he will always feel hurt and always say "i would have been a good dad" hopefully not. But until he gets his kids. I know he will. He is in so much pain. So so so so much.

And suddenly, swoop. It all made sense.

I believed Harry but i wanted to not like bum rush something so sensitive as sexuality. I am very very very very straight. But i have had a dozenish lesbian experiences. I choose to be straight. Because in my life I have been told i can choose and that is what I believe.

YET i cannot nor do i have the right to say people are not born homosexual. I am not God and anything is possible and possible that he made people born gay.

Maybe i don't believe it. But i am not going to,force,that on,anyone. i can be told that some people believe that and always will.

And I think that is just fine. Because I am not gay. I am not bisexual. And I love being hetro.

So why would I not accept that someone loves being gay? I do.

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

Now, in 2008 i had a conversation with a number of gay men. Also my daughter left my house while i was in an RV and she couldn't find me. And i felt her fear. And Ryan's brother was all "ill go get her" and she ran away from him. She had been sleeping and woke up and people were in the house. So she tried to find me. Poor thing was so scared. So I tried to tell her what to do in the situation and I gave up and just hugged her because there was no easy answer.

Time Line.

In 2002, I was 21. The eggs were taken when i was just about 8. Add 9 months, round to a year. So 9. 21 minus 9 equals 12.

I know a few kids said they were 12 when we met.

I am quite certain I met them because they were problem children. They always questioned Mike and were always angry at him.

So I guess that he took them to see me to tell me the truth. Yet he took the meanest ones to push me off about caring.

But they weren't mean. They were just like me. I understood and supported them.

And we fought him. Beat him emotionally, physically and intellectually.

And we fought.

I don't really know though. Like maube he wanted me to take care of them. But maybe probably not.

I ended up taking care of them, emotionally and spiritually and they took care of me.

Just like tonight Derek was saying that he was learning and it could help us all in the future.

In the end of 2002 i got pregnant.

The kids are still 12 or younger. I don't remember Toni. I guess i haven't gotten to him yet.

I remember him in 2008 when he told,me that he didn't know he was gay until he was 17 and Mike had told him that he was. So add 12 to the equation of 8-2. Is 18 was his age.

My daughter was 5 and Mike could see the way i had raised her.

Mike was the gospel.

###########

Have you sluethed it yet?

###########

I'm really tired.

But one of the gay guys is very much political and loud and he changes the world.

Equal rights. Equal voices. Rights of all citizens, I see his social media and its loud, black, proud and gay. And I am so very proud of him.

VvvvVvvvvVvvvvvvv

Mike didn't want these amazing loud, defiant, out of his control people having little people and allowing them to have a voice similar to theirs.

I allowed my daughter to have a voice just as i had allowed them at 12.

Mike had realized they were just like me. And they would raise their children as i would have raised them and how i raised my daughter.

Mike had to prevent being out numbered.

$$$$$$$$$$$

Mike was out numbered and he chose to kill himself after choosing to prove to me that he was as powerful as me and he was not a rapist.

He thought he could aim a pistol at his genitals and pull the trigger with it loaded up and ready to shoot and it would not fire.

He blew his dick off.

In his vanity, he chose to kill himself.

Thus karma has already fulfilled revenge on behalf of these children.

,,,,,,

He took away the identity of their genitals and anuses and mouths.

Luckily they still own all those body parts.

And they can choose how those parts are pleasured.

I will love them just the way they are.

God always creates perfect children.

Its humans that destroy that.

??????????????

Those that weren't so bothered about their loins and birth canals. I think they were just happier. Already learned that no one cared about them and they were just happy enough to sort through thier days not interfering with rules and authority.

Like school. We go to school and we go to each class. Eat lunch in the cafeteria.

Like who the fuck cares? In middle school I ate lunch with my friends, went skating on Tuesdays. Usually was just normal.

But there was days.... I got in trouble for fighting because some bullies and i would defend people i felt were smaller. Sometimes people would ask me for help. So i got in trouble quite a lot.

Except most days where I just tried to be happy and normal.

So those kids not singled out. You didn't have to be. Because your brothers and sisters saw your pain and fought for you. Sometimes without you asking sometimes because you did. But always always because you needed it.

So never think you weren't good enough. Or that you weren't loved. Because of those very two reasons your sexual identity was spared.

If you don't believe me. Ask them what Mike and his Dr lover jailed said to them.

And they don't hate you. As always they hated him.

....

I dont even know. He could told everyone they were gay.

.....

Also we have been uncovering twins, triplets and so on.

So if you were told your twin or triplet had died, get your DNA tests happening. You may be able to find them alive and healthy.

0 notes

cazzizant-blog · 7 years

Text

Unturned Generator Id

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