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#Because he doesn’t make choices for HIMSELF
luveline · 3 days
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grumpy hotch x pregnant reader where he is just having an off day and the team calls reader in to deal with him and as soon she arrives in his office he just holds her and her belly as she scratches his scalp omg 🥹😭🫶🏻
You’re lounging in your husband's favourite chair with a book and an ice cold soda in your hand when your phone rings. You almost knock your tooth out pulling it up to your face without looking, wanting it to be Aaron, knowing it probably won’t be. Maternity leave can be excruciatingly boring. 
“Hello?” you ask. Your book slides down your bump. You pull it back up. 
“Hi, mom.”  
You grin to yourself. “Hi, Emily. Please tell me you’re calling because you miss me and you know I have cabin fever.” 
“I’m calling because someone misses you.” Her ire tone is unmissable and ever endearing. “I do miss you, I can’t wait for you to have your stinking baby and come back to work.” 
“That would be fun, right? We’ll get Hotch on paternity leave.” 
“It’s him I’m calling about.” 
“Is he okay?” you ask. You know if he were injured she would’ve mentioned that first. You’re not so scared of his being grumpy. 
“Moody as ever. I can’t believe I’m asking you to, but would you consider coming in for lunch? I’ll send a car, no walking, but he could really use it. He’s been biting off heads all morning.” Emily laughs down the line. “You’re the only one who can cheer him up.” 
It’s not true, but you are usually the quickest. You bid Emily goodbye with a promise to be there soon and get dressed, with no choice but to wear some maternity pants and a peplum blouse. Any excuse to see your haggard husband is one you’ll take. 
You look at your bump and you love the baby in there, but it feels weird sometimes to see yourself differently. If Aaron weren’t as nice about it as he is, you would’ve broken down by now; he’s sussed many breakdowns before they could begin, kissed fingertips and collars promising you’re just as pretty as always. And it’s reassuring, but it isn’t pretty that worries you. You’re a genuine walking beach ball right now. 
The car Emily promises is none other than Anderson himself. “He’s bullying you?” you ask him. 
He doesn’t say yes or no, but his smile is enough of a clue. You can’t get to the BAU quick enough (though you’re slower these days), pushing open the glass door with a tired sign. 
Spencer comes across you first by coincidence. “Hey!” he says, ushering you in for a hug, his cup of coffee hot behind your shoulder. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be resting.” 
“He’s in a mood,” you say. Not without fondness. 
Spencer grimaces. “Sort of.” 
Emily attacks you from the side. “Thank god you’re here! I think he just told Morgan to go fuck himself,” she says under her breath. 
She’s just saying it to make you laugh, and it works. It’s vaguely out of character, but if you know Emily, you know she has a crass, often dirty-minded side, and it’s been a while since you’ve heard her swear. You’re still giggling when the door you’d been making your way to opens. 
Aaron emerges with an expression half bemusement and half confusion. “Honey?” 
“My love,” you say, too quiet for him to properly hear, but he can read lips just fine. 
He rushes in a very gentlemanly display down the steps to help you up them, but you’d only been going up them to see him, and you stop at the foot of them with your hand raised to his elbow. “Hey, handsome.” 
“What’s wrong?” he asks. 
“Nothing. Just missed you, wanted to have dinner, and I figured you couldn’t say no. You know.” You touch your tummy. “Considering.” 
He peers suspiciously past your head. “Yeah?” 
You look where he’s looking, find Emily and Spencer not so subtly turned away. You laugh again, pleased when the sound makes him smile. “Come on. Take me to your office.” 
He puts a hand behind your shoulders and leads you upstairs to his office. There are papers strewn haphazard across the front of the desk, his briefcase open and muddled, his pen lost within the mess. You’re smug knowing he’d been knee deep in paperwork but abandoned it all when he heard you laughing, like he just couldn’t miss it. 
“Let me sit you down,” he says. 
“Woah, slow your roll. Why are you stressed?” 
He blinks at you. “There’s a lot to do?” 
“Sure, but why are you stressed about me? I can sit down by myself.” 
He must look at you for five whole seconds without saying a word, and the door’s not closed, there’s no answer to your question, and then he takes you into his arms for a hug. “I know you can,” he says. 
It’s admittedly hard to hug him with the bump between you. You worry you’re hurting him as your cheeks press together, crushing his shoulders under your hands. 
He usually asks first, but he knows by now that you’re two halves of the same heart, two sides of the same coin, his hand slipping between you both to nudge aside your shirt and feel your stomach. 
You close your eyes. 
“Rough day?” you ask. 
“A lot to do…” His face moves down into your neck. 
You know what he wants, moving your hand to the back of his head to thread your fingers into his hair. “I can fix it,” you say sympathetically, beginning a gentle scratch of your nails against his scalp. 
“How’s that?” 
“If I go into labour right now, you get a reprieve.” 
“Honey, in the most loving sense possible, you going into labour now would not be ideal.” 
“It’s gonna happen one day, babe. And you’re gonna be just as busy then. You need to take less on or–”
“No, I know.” 
His hand slides still under your shirt to your hip, encouraging you away from him, his eyes flitting up and down your figure, checking you over. You let your hand fall to his shoulder, fingertips interested in the starchy fabric of a new suit. 
“Thank you,” he says quietly, dipping down to give you a kiss. His eyes are dark, so close. “That helped. What can I get you for dinner?” 
You give a fond, pitying smile. You’re not gonna get him out of this office today, that’s for sure. “Half your sandwich, probably.” 
He kisses you again. You take it for a thank you. 
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i get that spike/spuffy antis have to hate season seven on principle (and the fact that they act like spike’s arc is entirely frivolous and unimportant is so wildly dismissive of buffy’s i don’t think they actually even like her!), but so many are straight up factually incorrect about what actually happens. i don’t know if it’s a media literacy issue or a choice to be obstinate. probably a mixture. when you want something to be a certain way, misunderstanding something gives you room to declare yourself right.
their main talking point is that ensouled spike forces his presence on buffy. this… just doesn’t happen even once in the season. at all.
spike doesn’t return to sunnydale to see buffy. he goes back to the hellmouth. probably because it’s all he knows, as a demon he considers it home, and not for nothing he’s already being controlled by the first who wants him in place for a specific purpose.
in the first episode, lessons, buffy comes across spike on her own. he’s at some of his most insane for this interaction, and he walks away from her. in the next episode, beneath you, buffy seeks spike out. she goes to the basement and can’t find him. he’s actively hiding from her.
later in the same episode he gets himself cleaned up and goes to her, for the first and only time. he says it’s because something terrible is coming and he wants to offer his help. he tells her if she doesn’t want him around, tell him and he’ll leave and she can revoke his invite (which notably is still active). she doesn’t. she accepts his help.
they talk while looking for the demon and buffy says she can tell something is different about him but she doesn’t know what. spike makes a point to say he isn’t going to tell her what it is. that’s MAJOR. spike does not want buffy to know about his soul. he doesn’t put it on her, and he doesn’t make it her problem. he ends up telling her only after it’s nearly forced out of him and he’s triggered back into insanity after a lucid period. after he reveals his soul, he leaves.
in the next episode, same time same place, buffy seeks spike out. he’s once again hiding in the basement, so she knows where to find him, but he does not go to her. she enlists his help that episode, twice.
the next episode is help. buffy goes to the basement to see spike. she asks if he knows anything about cassie. he later helps buffy save cassie from the boys trying to sacrifice her.
in the next one, selfless, buffy once again goes to spike. it’s a definite a pattern. buffy seeks out spike. it’s actually a lot like much of their relationship in season six, only much more one sided. she tells him to leave the basement because it’s bad for him.
the next episode, him, sees a big shift. it’s still buffy going to spike, but this time she doesn’t just leave him in the basement. she actively chooses to help him out of it, getting xander to let him move into his apartment. there’s a huge and important change in their dynamic now. they are solidly in each other’s lives, and that was and continues to be buffy’s choice.
i won’t do little synopses for each episode from the rest of the season, but from here spike offers to leave at minimum four additional times, half a dozen or more total all season.
he earnestly wants buffy to kill him in sleeper and never leave me, because he’s devastated and terrified that he’s killing. buffy says no, she’s going to help him and she believes in him. she rescues him, because she wants to, and moves him back into her house.
later on spike seems to be gaining back control of his mind, but when the first threatens him he once again says he’s a danger and needs to leave and buffy says no because shes not ready for him not to be here.
buffy wants spike in her life. she makes that fact extremely clear. maybe at first it wasn’t for the healthiest reasons, but a major theme of season seven is spike and buffy healing both as individuals and growing closer together because of it. their relationship empowers and strengthens buffy, and the final episode is called chosen for a reason. this season is about buffy’s agency. that starts when she decides who’s in her life and who isn’t.
there’s never a single moment where spike makes that decision for her. he doesn’t once tell buffy she has to accept him, or that he should have access to her. he doesn’t come around when she says to leave, because she doesn’t say to leave. he stays away from her until she beckons him back. over and over.
spike doesn’t think he deserves anything from buffy. he believes the opposite, even encouraging her to date and hiding his heartache about it. he doesn’t make his insanity and suffering her problem. she volunteers to help him.
i understand having issues with the writing choice of spike back in buffy’s life at all after what happened in season six, but only if you’re engaging with it honestly. you can dislike that buffy makes the choice to have spike around, but it’s obvious when you disregard her agency and pretend he’s the one calling the shots. you hate a story that didn’t happen, and it’s impossible take seriously.
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blitzyisfine · 3 days
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i can’t wait to see some more backstory and/or closure for verosika and blitzø
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this clip from the trailer seems like verosika’s hand holding the knife? that is chopping off a fake blitzø head while verosika shouts “you are so shitty!” (presumably at blitzø)
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followed by this clip and blitzø shouting back that “we live in hell, everyone’s shitty”
blitzø is justifies his own shitty behavior by claiming that that’s just the way everyone is in hell. but that doesn’t diminish the fact that even demons have free will to make better choices and that all choices have consequences
i am so struck by the fact that these two dated in the past but verosika hasn’t been able to move on. i don’t get the vibe that either of them were very good for each other, but the prt that interests me the most is how neither of them have moved on
blitzø hasn’t moved on because he hates himself. so he disses verosika’s ability to seduce people (which is her job as a succubus) to his coworkers and actively challenges her in Spring Broken. verosika hasn’t moved on because she hates blitzø. so she disses his abilities in bed in front of everyone in Ozzie’s, which was a huge deal there because good sex is important in the lust ring. and not to mention it was in front of stolas
i wonder if part of blitzø’s healing process this season will be him moving on from verosika in some way. maybe he can learn to make reparations for her, maybe he will learn to forgive himself, or maybe he will even see that both of them were at fault in this relationship
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puck-luck · 3 days
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okay since you wanted requests to switch it up a bit.. could you write trevor zegras x fem!reader smut where his gf is less experienced than him and wants to give him head but she’s never done it before so he guides her through it 🫣
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other requests: “could you write a smut with some fluff in it too, with trevor zegras walking his gf through giving him head because it’s her first time and she’s nervous/doesn’t know what to do”, “obsessed with the idea of trevor zegras talking his gf through how to give him head when it’s her first time and she’s nervous about not knowing what to do.. like literally giving her instructions throughout, with lots of praise and reassurance, but also dirty talk bc let’s be real, it’s trevor.” warnings: oral (f and m receiving), dirty talk, inexperienced reader x experienced partner, praise, coming on face, masturbation joke warnings: tw: los angeles angels (i prefer the dodgers), in a world where tz never broke his ankle during the 2023-2024 season… pairing: trevor zegras x inexperienced!fem!reader summary: see requests above. wc: 3089
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Trevor Zegras was the most giving, patient man you had ever known. Maybe his patience came from having younger siblings, but it was more likely that it came from years and years of working with teammates in a cutthroat sport. You had grown up watching hockey, gaining intimate knowledge of the sport when you had started dating Trevor. Trevor, in exchange, found himself more than knowledgeable about baseball, the sport of your choice, than he ever needed to be.
You two had met when you came to Anaheim, having graduated a year early from college with a degree in Sports Marketing. You had landed a job with the Los Angeles Angels, which had relocated you to the area, and you couldn’t imagine your life going any other way. There were times when you missed your family and missed home, but once you had gotten settled into your job and you had met Trevor, Anaheim started to feel like the home you’d been destined to find.
Anaheim was also an escape from your hometown– a place where, despite your best efforts, you did not feel welcome. You had told Trevor early in your relationship about your lack of experience sexually and tried to explain it away with a long-winded story about being a “weird kid,” but Trevor had brushed it off and told you he didn’t mind your inexperience. He was happy, he said, to teach you everything he could. All you had to do was say the word.
So, you’d worked up to it. You’d slept in the same bed, touched him, and he had touched you. Hockey season had helped the pace of your relationship, with Trevor traveling almost every other week. He was gone for two weeks straight in January, traveling from coast to coast, and it was then that you had shyly admitted to him through the tinny speaker of your phone how badly you wanted to suck him off.
He had fumbled with the phone, groaning at the idea alone of your mouth around his length, and it had resulted in a long FaceTime call in which you watched him fuck into his hand, telling you how much better it would feel if it was your mouth.
It was the Monday night after they had come back. Trevor had had a game on Sunday at Honda Center against the Rangers and spent the night at his place because it was closer to the rink. As much as he was itching to see you, and your heart was beating out of your chest at the idea of seeing him and going through with blowing him, you were scared. Trevor knew that you were nervous, the anticipation was getting to you, just from the way you were texting. The messages were shorter. You weren’t initiating conversation as much. The times between your responses were longer.
It didn’t matter, though. He was coming over tonight.He was going to cook you dinner. He was going to set the mood. He was going to make you comfortable if it was the last thing that he did, and if it meant that you wouldn’t get your mouth on him at all, he was okay with that.
Trevor arrived at your apartment about an hour after you got off work. Spring training was starting in just a month, so things were starting to pick up for you. You were stressed, plenty of tasks on your plate and most of them half-finished. A relaxing dinner with your boyfriend was going to provide a needed distraction.
Trevor had let himself into the apartment and was already pan-searing some cubed potatoes when you got out of the shower. He was in complete boyfriend mode, having stolen your apron and thrown it over his bare chest. You could see his tattoos from where you were standing, the ones littering his arms and the delicate one on his ribs, and you smiled. 
He seemed like a tough guy, your boyfriend. He had the tattoos, the athletic ability, the sculpted form and ridged muscles of an athlete. Anyone who saw him in the supermarket might think he’s an asshole, but the second they get a good look at him, they’ll realize that he’s just a softie. He tied a delicate bow around the curve of his waist in your baby blue and frilly apron. 
“I can feel you looking at me,” Trevor said. You watched his bicep ripple as he moved the potatoes around the pan with a spatula. He threw a glance over his shoulder. “Oh, good, you’re actually there. Could you imagine me saying that to the air?”
“I can, actually,” You replied with a laugh. You walked over and hugged Trevor from behind, arms wrapped solidly around his figure as you squished your cheek against his back. “I bet you did.”
Trevor sputtered out a denial, shaking his head. He relented just seconds later, unable to keep up the bit. “You’re right. I thought you were there like two minutes before you actually were.”
You giggled and pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades.
Trevor placed the spatula down on the counter, then turned the burner off and moved the pan to a different spot on the cooktop. He turned in your arms, inching over just a bit so that you were trapping him against the counter, not the oven. He gasped, reaching up and cradling your face in the palms of his hands.
“What?” You asked.
“You’ve gotten even prettier in the two weeks that I haven’t seen you,” He marveled, tilting your head from side to side as you rolled your eyes.
You pushed away from him, walking out of the kitchen. 
Trevor trailed behind you like a puppy.
“You’re a loser,” You said.
“I love my pretty girlfriend,” Trevor replied. 
As you passed the couch in your living room, Trevor tackled you over the arm of the object and you fell onto the cushions. You shrieked at the contact, at the fall, and squirmed in Trevor’s grip as he kissed over your neck and face. His fingers were digging into your sides, causing you to giggle and snort between breaths. Trevor was relentless, until he decided to plant a kiss on your lips.
He captured your lips with intent, slowly slotting your bottom lip between his. Trevor always kissed you with purpose, slow, like he was trying to memorize you. He slid his mouth into your tongue like he was trying to lap up your sweetness, keep it on his tongue until he could place your taste and replicate it in a dish or a drink, something he’d be willing to consume every day for the rest of his life. You liked most when he nibbled on your bottom lip before pulling away, something that was so trademark Trevor that it made you breathless. He would always pull back just to look at you, to push your hair out of your face, before diving back in.
He kissed you so gently, so sweetly, that when you felt his bulge press against you, you were almost caught off guard.
“Been thinking about you,” Trevor purred against your lips. “About what you said the other day.”
You froze and Trevor pulled away, hovering over you. He searched your face carefully.
“We don’t have to,” He reassured you. “You know we don’t have to. I’d never make you.”
“I want to,” You replied, voice small. “I’m just… scared.”
“Scared of what?” Trevor asked. 
“What if I gag and I throw up all over you?” You cringed at the mere thought. “I’ll die if that happens.”
Trevor stifled a laugh. “I’ll shower and I’ll wait two weeks before letting you near my dick with your mouth again,” He answered, an easy smile turning up the corners of his mouth.
You pouted at him. “You’re not taking this seriously.”
“I am!” He protested. “Baby, you’re not going to throw up on my dick.”
“What if I do?”
“I just told you what we’d do if you threw up on my dick!”
“Okay, well, you’re not being very supportive of my fears.”
Trevor sighed and placed his hands on your shoulders. He stared deeply into your eyes. “I understand you are afraid of vomiting on my penis. I assure you, that will not happen.”
“How can you be so sure?” You whined.
“It’s never happened before,” Trevor said. He leaned down to kiss the spot under your ear. “Plus, baby, I’m going to go so slow that you’ll be begging for more by the end of it.”
A shiver ran down your spine at that, the way he whispered the words in your ear so his hot breath danced over your skin igniting a flame between your legs. 
“Why don’t,” Trevor began, his hand making his way to your clothed mound, “I show you just how good getting head would make me feel?”
His deft fingers rubbed in circles over your clit, the pressure just intense enough to make you moan.
“Would you like that? I’ll get my tongue on you, make you come once, maybe twice…” Trevor kissed you, his lips sliding over yours, his tongue teasing its way into your mouth then out of it. “And then we can revisit the idea of getting your mouth on me?”
“Yeah,” You agreed lamely, the heat between your legs growing more slick with each circle of his fingers and each wet kiss. 
Trevor stood from where he was lain on top of you. He untied your apron, which you had almost forgotten he was wearing, and tossed it to the side. He grabbed under your knees and dragged you down towards the arm of the couch, throwing one leg over the arm and setting your other foot on the floor. He kept a hand on that knee, rubbing smooth lines up and down your skin with his thumb. With his other hand, he traced the line of your folds through the fabric of your sweat-shorts.
 They were a loose pair, gray and almost threadbare after years of washes and use. The fabric of the shorts was the thinnest barrier Trevor could have faced. You could have put on panties when you got out of the shower, but had opted just for these shorts instead. They were more comfortable. Now, they were just something stopping him from getting his mouth on you.
Except, it didn’t stop him. 
Trevor mouthed over your clit, giving it an open-mouthed kiss. You whimpered at the shock that it sent up your body, causing your fingertips to twitch at your side. He ran his tongue over the length of your pussy and chuckled to himself when your hips jumped beneath him. 
“Relax, honey,” Trevor said, his words muffled because he was still pressed against you. “Relax and enjoy.”
His fingers came up and moved your shorts out of the way, revealing you to him. Chastely, he kissed your folds, then pointedly blew cold air over your entrance. 
“Trev,” You let out, reaching a hand towards his, still rubbing on your knee. He intertwined his fingers with yours, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. 
Trevor licked his way up to your clit again, capturing it between his lips and sucking. He rolled the bud on his tongue, causing your hips to lift again. “Be good,” He told you, voice low. His eyes were closed as he continued to lick over you, practically french kissing your lower lips the same way he would the ones on your face.
It was a gradual build, the coil in your stomach tightening. You squeezed Trevor’s hand and ground down on his tongue. He flattened his tongue against your clit, letting you hump it, before he tensed it at your entrance and prodded his way into you. He flicked the muscle fast, and the sensation was all too much for you. 
You came undone with a loud cry, your thighs closing around Trevor’s head involuntarily. 
He continued to lap at your release, cleaning you up and only stopping when you relaxed beneath him and pushed him away.
“How was that?” Trevor asked, his face level with yours. 
You reached out and looped your arms around his neck, dragging him forward until your lips crashed against his. This kiss, at your direction, was much more passionate. You could taste yourself on his tongue and you moaned into his mouth. You turned, pushing at Trevor until he was the one seated on the couch. You found yourself on his lap, grinding down on his bulge.
“So you liked it?” Trevor asked.
You let out a laugh and sucked a hickey under his jaw. “Teach me how to make you feel good like that.”
Trevor shuddered when you scraped your teeth over his pulse point. “On your knees,” He told you. He guided you, with a hand on your shoulder, between his legs.
The sight of you there, feet tucked prettily under you, hands clasped in front of you, has Trevor’s dick twitching in his pants.
“Take my dick out, baby,” Trevor said, his voice soft but firm.
He lifted his hips as you pulled at his shorts. They pooled around his ankles, leaving him in just his briefs.
“Give me your hand.”
You reached up and he took your wrist, guiding your hand toward his bulge. He let your hand rest just to the side of him.
“Touch me. Over my pants.”
You traced the line of his dick over his pants, biting your lip when it jumped under your finger. You palmed him, fitting your hand over the curve of him and beginning to rub him up and down.
Trevor’s head tilted back and he let out a groan. “Faster.”
You sped up, just as he had asked you to, bringing your other hand up to cradle his balls.
“Fuck,” Trevor moaned, inadvertently tipping his hips up into your hand. “Take it out.”
You rushed to do so, scraping your nails against his sides when you pulled at his waistband. Trevor hissed at that, but didn’t say anything. When his dick was revealed to you, standing proud and dripping from the tip, you took it in your hand and leaned down to hesitantly lick his slit.
Trevor’s hands flew to your hair, the strands falling between his fingers. “Again,” He breathed out, eyes wide.
You licked his tip again, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
“Oh my God,” Trevor drawled out, borderline whimpering. “Baby, fuck, please.”
You smiled, proud of yourself for reducing him from someone who was so sure of himself and so loud to someone who is whining just from your touch. You circled your lips around his lip, sucking lightly.
His dick twitched. “So good,” Trevor praised. “Can you take more?”
You nodded out of instinct, but the sensation made him garble out an unintelligible string of words. You sunk down lower on his dick, feeling your lips stretch as you take him down your throat. You bobbed your head up and down slowly, feeling how he slid in and out of you. The taste of him on your tongue was addicting– salty and just so man. You moaned, the vibrations enveloping Trevor’s dick in a way that made him buck up into your throat. You gagged, a tear forming on your waterline.
Trevor grabbed your hair and pulled you up, just barely off the head of his dick. 
“You okay?” He asked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you gag.”
You cleared your throat and nodded. “You taste so good, Trevor.” Trevor’s jaw dropped at the tone of your voice, light and innocent and sexy because it was worn with use. 
“Fuck, suck me again, just take it,” Trevor encouraged, gathering your hair into a ponytail.
You lowered your mouth onto Trevor again, tracing your tongue over the vein on the underside of his dick. You used one hand to pump the part of his dick that you couldn’t fit into your mouth. You bobbed up and down, covering your teeth as best you could, but Trevor relished in the ghost of a scrape over his member when you got caught up in the moment.
He was groaning, babbling above you, his abs flexing as he drowned in pleasure. His face was flushed and you whined when you saw the mark that you left on his sharp jawline.
“Baby, you’re so good,” Trevor groaned. “You’re gonna make me come.”
You reached a hand down into your shorts and fingered furiously over your clit, swooning with the sensation there and of the weight on your tongue.
Trevor leaned forward and spotted your movements, saw your hand moving from inside your shorts. “Oh my God, fuck, yeah, make yourself come, too, baby…”
You gave it your all, twisting your hand around the length of Trevor that wasn’t inside your mouth. Drool slid out of your mouth, offering plenty of lubrication for your hand, making it easier to jerk him.
“God, fucking– baby, let me come on your face. Please, wanna see it on you,” Trevor begged.
He said it right as your fingers teased your entrance in just the right way, and you came for the second time that night, kneeling on the carpet for your boyfriend’s pleasure. 
You pulled off of Trevor, but kept your mouth open, sticking your tongue out. He took his dick in his hand and jacked himself off quickly, hand flying over his length. 
“Close your eyes,” Trevor warned, panting like he couldn’t catch his breath. “Don’t– fuck– don’t want to get my come in your eye.”
You obeyed him, reluctantly losing sight of his figure. There would be plenty of other times where you could watch his face contort with the bliss of his orgasm, but it’s nothing compared to the feeling of his hot, sticky come fall on your cheeks before Trevor aims his release at your tongue. 
“God, Y/N,” Trevor groaned out. “I kind of want to take a picture of you like this.”
“Can I open my eyes?” You asked, “Wanna look up at you.”
“Yeah,” Trevor agreed, eyes fluttering as he took in the sight of you with his come on your face. When your eyes opened and met his, he felt himself starting to harden again. “Now I really want to take a picture.”
You wiped some of the come off of your cheek with your thumb before licking it off the digit. “Next time. I believe you promised me a home cooked dinner.”
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notes: dear trevor zegras, i <3 you and think we could really get up to no good if you'd just give me a look. also, i wrote this at work. also, also, my coworker was sitting next to me and one of the elderly ladies asked me what i was typing. no comment.
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dragengyrr · 3 days
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Dealbreaker
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I found a fic "The Last Bus Stop in Hell, Now Boarding" by @prince-liest and… well, some scenes just stuck around in my head (read: tormented my artistic brain) long enough to get me down to sketching them out. Then a few hours, a few brushes and a few different colouring experiments later, it was no longer barely a sketch, at the expense of actual lunch... Oh well.
For those who haven’t read it (spoiler free), Angel and Alastor got their bodies swapped involuntarily, and the horrendous expression on Angel’s face belongs respectfully to Alastor.
Now, bear with me, because I’ve been overthinking this scene the whole time I was drawing it – Angel made a promise to Alastor, but one that is much more of a gesture of reassurance and what-happened-will-always-remain-in-this-room kind than anything resembling actual deal. And then, mere moments later, Angel realises that helping Al AND keeping the promise is impossible, so he dismisses the fact that he even said anything, and just jumps right onto the helping part, because he knows that that’s best thing to do for a friend. But Alastor doesn’t share that view – maybe it’s a mix of trauma, shame and the loss of control over almost anything, but he doesn’t think clearly at this point – normally, he’d sooner or later agree with Angel. But not there, not then – he’d rather expect the impossible to happen, and rage when it doesn’t.
And there’s the interesting choice of words – he could’ve called Angel anything at this point, we know how rich Alastor’s vocabulary is – but the word he chose was dealbreaker. Maybe, just maybe, from a perspective of hellish overlord, a sinner that twists and turns in an attempt to get rid of their contract is nothing less than pathetic, but what if the deal was only verbal, no signing, no contract, just "trust"… There are probably no other beings in Hell that, ironically, have less trust in somebody’s WORDS than the overlords, knowing what extremes the sinners are willing to go to just to squeeze their way out of a sticky situation. Also, one can only become a dealbreaker exactly in that scenario, when nothing was set in stone.
For Alastor, dealbreaker is a knife in the back. The worst kind of liar. The very being that reminds him so painfully that trust doesn’t exist without force applied to it by a binding contract, which, if you think about it, is a paradox. Dealbreakers are the reason he distances himself from everyone.
And here’s the sugar on the cream (pun intended): Angel is only trying to HELP. What a beautiful tragedy.
To end this little overthinking session: it’s been a long while since I’ve read anything that would make me genuinely terrified, and it’s even more amazing that it began as something quite hilarious. Do mind though that the topic is HEAVY, to say the least.
I can’t say I’ve read a lot of Hazbin fics, but so far Princeliest writes Alastor probably the closest to his original character, which I love. Please, keep up the good work!
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thecatsaesthetics · 24 hours
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So many people get Rhysand and Feyre’s dynamic wrong.
Rhys and Feyre are mirrors, they both would and have done the “wrong” thing in order to save the ones they love. They both would rather take on the struggle alone then share the burden. They both don’t view themselves as worthy of what they have, and can only truly love themselves when they love each other. It’s why they work so well, they both mirror the other.
When Feyre says “I see you” to Rhys it’s incredibly powerful because she’s not only seeing him but herself. Feyre only begins to forgive herself for what she did UTM by realizing that she could never condemn Rhys for his actions, because she would have done the same.
Rhys hatred of Nesta over Elain, is because Nesta does not appreciate (at least outwardly) everything Feyre did. It’s not just about Feyre providing for the family and them not, it’s about her treatment she got for sacrificing everything. Rhys knows what’s that like, Rhys has done that and knows what it’s like to be insulted for it. And while he doesn’t ever try to defend himself when insulted he can’t bear to see Feyre insulted over her sacrifices.
It’s the same way Feyre cannot comprehend how people can disregard and insult what Rhys did to save his people. Feyre goes ape shit over any insult towards Rhys, but more or less tolerates Nesta’s abusive comments towards her.
It’s because she’s his mirror, and he is hers.
And if we’re think of in canon, despite all the problems and plotholes with the pregnancy it makes sense that Feyre would be quick to forgive. Feyre would do the same, if she knew Rhys was going to die she would do everything to find a cure before he died. It’s not right, but Feyre takes on the burden of others the same way Rhys does. She understands him and his actions better then anyone else. And he understands her equally as well.
It’s why they work so well and what most people get wrong about them. Feyre does not have “rose colored” glass for Rhys, she understands him. She knows she would make similar choices and she has made similar choices.
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ofbreathandflame · 3 days
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Well, again, the issue is not that Rhys has done bad things, it’s how those actions are framed in the story. Let’s think about this – if Rhysand’s actions UTM were framed as negative then perhaps we would not be having this conversation.
Of course, we can argue that Rhysand (1) has developed negative coping mechanisms / perspective (2) Rhysand’s trauma informs the things that he does (both pre, during, and after UTM), and (3) Rhysand’s position was uniquely isolating because of the nature of the role he was forced to play. These are points that I believe can be argued and offer an interesting view; but for any of that to happen, we have to acknowledge that the behaviors are negative. That’s often the problem with the arguments that begin to arise – no one wants to admit that Rhysand has developed (or just has) negative qualities and behaviors. No one wants to contend with the reality of consequences. “Rhysand has always admitted that he would be willing to do terrible things for his family” – and yet there’s no elaboration on those “terrible things.” No one wants to talk about those proposed negative qualities. The story (and the audience) don’t want to admit that Rhys doesn’t really have a solid moral high ground over Tamlin, or admittedly other villains. Just because Rhysand “admits” he’s prone to basically being abusive doesn’t…make it any less abusive.
My proposed argument about Rhysand’s actions UTM are this: he chose to sexually assault Feyre, he chose to “protect” Feyre in ways that were extremely sexually explicit. I believe these are choices that Rhys chooses to make – and I believe they say something about him. It’s noted, to me, that Amarantha scarcely makes Rhys do anything that he does to Feyre. I also believe that his actions regarding Feyre were done with an air of autonomy; as in, I believe Rhysand takes these measures into his own hands. Ultimately, I believe that while Rhysand has to contend with the horrors, he himself becomes beholden to them at some point and ends up perpetrating the same behaviors.
We cannot argue that Rhysand sexually assaulted Feyre, and then argue that it doesn’t say something about him. It does. In the realm of the story – from a writing standpoint – I think a good author can still make a character like that sympathetic and understandable (see: Nahadoth and Itempas from N.K. Jemisin’s Hundred Thousand Kingdom). If I were analyzing Rhysand’s actions, I would simply make the argument that perhaps Rhysand’s abuse of Feyre mirror’s his own abuse by Amarantha hands, and he potentially sees Feyre (and her hope) as something to be threatened – or even shamed by. If Rhysand’s actions were written in a way that clearly exemplified that his actions are not meant to be praised (and are NOT are reflection of love) then he could be salvaged. I actually believe a lot of the abusive things Rhysand does makes sense given the environment and if the story leaned into this from a storytelling perspective and did away with needing to moralize, then this would all be fine. Framing Rhysand’s abuse of Feyre as something to be praised, admired, and loved for is actually quite insane. If we frame his actions as purely preservational and self-serving, that would make so much sense. Imagine being in Rhysand’s position; I guarantee everyone would do whatever they could to stop such extreme amounts of abuse and sexual violence. And even then, the story could still create a narrative that warns of the danger of sexual violence and consent, it would just be subtextual and more allegorical than concretely written in the text. Starting Feyre and Rhysand off in such a tragic place, having Feyre and Rhysand acknowledged truly what happened, having them discuss ways for both of them to move forward while building up the mating bond in the background. Have Feyre acknowledge this untrusting, sly, slick part of Rhysand and have her not assume her mate does everything out of the kindness of his heart. Build their romance out of a place of mutual atonement – play on the theme of guilt Feyre feels and the whole premise of the court. Let the connection between Feyre and Rhys be that they truly acknowledge each others darkness (and also let Feyre do selfish things – maybe she knew damn well Clare Beddor’s family might suffer a bad fate but its not her family and Feyre would do anything for them; Let Feyre kill those fairies with ease because she cares about her life. Let her contend with reality that she would actually do anything for her family and then have that be a connection between Rhys and Feyre.
Something that has always bothered me about the “we don’t talk enough about Rhysand’s trauma” argument that gets thrown around when we earnestly discuss the validity of his actions is the presumption of innocence in that statement. The unwritten statement is that the trauma somehow explains and simultaneously absolves him of the implications of his actions. I objectively agree with the sentiment – Rhysand’s trauma is not talked about enough and it should be. The argument dancing in the corner is the fact that people believe that Rhysand’s extreme amount of trauma absolves him – even going as far as essentially say that Rhysand’s abuse operates out of fear (or because of fear) which is essentially the exact same ideology the book bashed Tamlin for. In the end, the cycle just comes back around and the abuse gets pushed into the backdrop.
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Note
I just read the Blade with scared reader fic, could you possibly do that with Dan Heng too?
yes i sure can :D this was pretty fun to write! i feel like i don't get a lot of request for dan heng himself so it was a nice change! usually people request imbibitor lol :3
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Warning: this post contains yandere-themes including, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of being held against ones will, mentions of force-feeding, mentions of being manhandled, mentions of feed tubes, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!
Dan Heng is, reasonably, upset over it. He’s worried about your health, skipping meals and missing sleep takes a toll on people, physically and mentally. It gets to the point where he starts drugging you to ensure you sleep. And while he isn’t exactly keen on force-feeding you, he compromises by giving you just enough to weaken you, make you more pliant, and then persuading you to eat.
He doesn’t like to be physically forceful, he knows you’re still going through the shock of being brought on to the Astral Express unwillingly and being kept there against your will. Himeko and Welt said you’d get over it soon, that you just needed time to adjust, but at this rate, you’d render yourself comatose before anything else,
Dan Heng is forceful with you, but still in a gentle way. He feels bad about manhandling you into the bathroom, but once you’re inside he lets you remove your own clothes and shower at your own will. He isn’t going to stand there and watch, he wants you to know that he still cares. The most forceful he gets is cuddling at night. He doesn’t need much, but he does like to have some part of himself touching you. It helps him sleep better, knowing you’re there and that you’re his. 
“Please, I- you haven’t eaten all week. Just… just take a few bites, you need to eat something.” Dan Heng pleads softly with you, hands nudging the plate of food back towards you. This had been going on for a few minutes now, with you pushing the plate back towards him, refusing the food. He didn’t want to have to drug you again, he already felt awful enough for having to do so last week, but you were still refusing to eat. Dan Heng wasn’t going to sit around and watch you waste away, but he still wanted you to know that you had this choice. That not everything had to be done the hard way.
Because of your resistance to food, you’re on a soft foods and liquids diet for a while, stuff that’s easy to feed you when you’re barely conscious. When you start opening up and eating more on your own, Dan Heng slowly begins to reintroduce other foods. Most of it he cooks himself, wanting to make sure it was perfect for you. It warms his heart to see you willingly eating it.
If you should never grow accustomed to him and staying with him, Dan Heng is not entirely against the idea of giving you a feeding tube. It’s a last resort kind of thing, something that would take well over a year to build to, but when it’s brought up as a possible solution, he starts to think on it more. It would make feeding you easier and it means you’d have to be drugged less, but it comes with the added problem of ensuring you don’t rip it out. Regardless, he will pursue that path if you should continue to be difficult with him.
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peachesancreams · 1 day
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Expanding on the Wives
everyones favorite asexual serial killer and his cute wifey! this one is marked mature as it is his serial killing days. I will be going into all their deaths on the third part so stay tuned~
Alastors wife
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Okay so I said Al doesn’t remember how they first met and he doesn’t mainly because I personally headcanon that he has a lot of trauma in accordance with that time. Mainly at the hands of his father, which more then likely is one of the core manifestations of his future MO for being a serial killer, being that he killed ‘bad people’ and never outright leaned toward killing women. Do I think he did? Yeah someone had to have seen something at one point and Alastor isn’t one for lose ends. (I’m sorry guys you’re gonna see a lot of me info dumping, serial killers psyche and the types are a special interest of mine)
They meet when they were kids, him just running around New Orleans learning the streets and how to use the alleys to make a quick getaway. It had helped him more then on one occasion growing up in that day and age, more so when people knew of his parentage. Not that he was ashamed but rather no one Likes Pain much less children, and unfortunately other children will do as they see their parents do. Rosalind had been reading on the steps on the library when he had ran into her. It wasn’t any kind of meet cute considering they got into a argument about who’s fault it was, kids am I right?
They kiddos had decided that they both were ultimately at fault, him for running when Mama said not to rush and Rose for sitting on the steps where people walk. They’d shook on it and had spent the day talking about some radio stories, Alastor eventually telling her about his dream of being a host himself.
They meet up regularly and talked about the many things kids find important. Until Rosalind’s Pa died and her mother had to move them back up north. The saddest part was it all happened so rapidly, Rosalind hadn’t had time to find Alastor to tell him. Her mother kept Rosalind close to her through out the process of the funeral and the move, having heard of the company her daughters been keeping but also to grieve with her daughter.
Thus she moved away and Alastor slowly forgot the face of his friend. He remembers having a dear childhood friend but figured they, like everyone else heard of his heritage and left him.
Meanwhile up north Rosalind was dreaming of going back to the south. She thanked her lucky stars her fathers family lived down in Louisiana still, she sent letters often down to her cousins asking about life and how is dear New Orleans changing?
When she was 18 Rosalind decided to make the choice to move down south. Her mother had gotten a urgent letter from her aunt raving about how her cousins were living in sin and needed a good girl like Rosalind to guide them. Of course this was only partly the case, their cousins mother had actually passed in the fall and one them impersonated her as to fool Rosalind's mother.
They made this plan as to get Rosalind out from her mothers thumb, wanting her to stay close and up north together. It was not that Rosalind didn't love her mother she just didn't want to be smothered by her anymore.
Now for the second and remembered meeting!!
Once secure in the South her cousins had decided to celebrate! What better way to celebrate gaining independence in the 20's then going to Mimzy's club! Bonus her cousins worked there as showgirls(have to make money somehow...) so they were familiar with the atmosphere.
It had been fun, they drank and danced some. It was only when her cousins had been swept onto the dance floor by two different gentlemen that Rosalind finally felt conflicted. Truth be told she had been having mixed feelings all night, but now alone with the gazing of hungry men feasting on her flesh.
Heading to the bar she ordered herself a drink, trying to call the bartenders attention. It was when a smooth voice called above her head that the bartender finally looked over.
"John my good man! My usual drink for me, and one for the lady as well."
Now at this time Al has been establishing himself in his career for a while, I imagine at this time he had actually just scored his first segment. It was some news on event in town and weather reports, he still has a small way to go till he can report on what he really wants. The Local Crime segments, the man who does it now Tyler put people to sleep the way he drones.
He had come to Mimzy's tonight to stalk his next hunt. His radio career wasn't the only one he had been curating and growing with time. He started his murder career with a truly vile man, his father. No one thought much of the hunting accident, his father was a drunk and many had the opinion it had been bound to happen. Filled eith righteous fury, he went after only villainous people. Muggers, rapists, a fellow murderer, and well an unfortunate witness.
Alastor had been eyeing this particular prey for a while, a rapist who preyed on woman. Alastor had watched his prey pick out his own prey for the evening, watched him circle like a vulture. He took notice of the woman, a soft smile on her face but discomfort colored her brows. It stirred something in him, a flash of his mothers face making his grin feel strained.
Alastor doesn't know why and could only put it to words after when he was in Hell. He interrupted his preys hunt to intercept the woman, buying her a drink. The conversation was stimulating, and having her not fawn over him was a nice change. Despite his small role in the station his popularity grows by the day. What can he say, he has a voice made for radio!
They hit it off from there, him quietly offing his prey another night. No need for vermin like him to linger around. After all Ms. Rosalind frequently met him at Mimzy's so there no reason not to keep the place...tidy so to speak.
Rosalind felt like she was in a fairytale, not only was she able to get a job as a poster painter(lots of prints were handmade back then!) but Alastor, a radio host with a career on the rise, seemed to fancy her.
She didn't realize who Alastor was until they'd gotten married, saw a picture of him and his mom he kept in the back of a bible. She also realized he didn't remember her, it made her a little sad but she remembered the bruises he would show up with and forgave him in her heart.
Speaking of, they were only together for like a month before getting married. And the proposal was at his house! He made dinner and lit candles, and made sure to be his most charming.
Rosalind could only say yes to her dear sweet Al. The thing that had gotten people talking is that she hadn't gone home that night. Alastor was never huge on touch but always seemed to gravitate towards her space. That night they'd cuddled on the couch, exchanging small kisses until they'd fallen asleep.
It’s had started the rumor mill but what made it a full function factory was how the wedding ended up being a month later. So many older ladies comforted her saying ‘first babies are always late’, Alastor had gotten a good laugh out of her flushed face after. She had scolded him but couldn't put any heat behind it, weak as she was to his smile.
They never were physical together, it just wasn't something either of them wanted. They didn't desire each other for the body itself, but for the company and conversation. It was a lovely union, Alastor being attentive to her labors praising her work in the house and garden.
Speaking of her garden, since I see the house being his parents before his own. The garden was originally his mothers. It had fallen into deep disrepair since she had passed, as he had no talent for gardening. With his little wife however it had returned to its old splendor.
Where he didn't have a talent for the green, he did take well to his fathers old hunting lessons. Something he found himself indulging in as a married man. Fresh vegetables and herbs along side some fresh venison, made for a wonderfully fresh meal you couldn't find anywhere else. Who knew all it took was one these hunts for him to disappear from her life forever?
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spotsandsocks · 2 days
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How can we dance when I silenced the song
Chapter 2 3k Bobby and Eddie have a little chat.
And a little taste here. 💜🩶🖤🤍
A few weeks after the wedding Bobby finds Eddie sitting alone at the kitchen counter when he should be sleeping downstairs alongside his team. He considers leaving him to his thoughts but there’s something about the quietness of the station at this time of night and the dim lighting that always seems to help difficult conversations so he keeps moving, making enough noise to be noticed and as he passes on his way to the refrigerator they exchange a silent nod, acknowledging each other in the semi darkness.
Before opening the fridge Bobby glances towards Eddie, he doesn’t notice because he’s too focused on his coffee cup. Eddie looks a little tired, a little sad and a lot lonely. The man’s been looking like that a lot recently especially when he thinks Buck isn’t looking.
Fridge handle in his hand Bobby suppresses a sigh as he considers his options. Which juice to choose and what to say to Eddie.
Bobby sees so much of himself in the young man sitting there, slowly rotating a coffee mug in his hands and he’s worried about him.
Eddie acts like he’s ok, but that's been the case with the man before and nothing can convince Bobby that Eddie isn’t going through something big, something set off at a wedding or maybe just before that, something he hasn’t come to terms with yet.
Having made his choice Bobby returns the cartoon to the shelf and turns, sipping his juice casually. He approaches the topic he wants to address with caution.
“Soooo how you doing, with um …….everything?”
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kcwriter-blog · 3 days
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An Argument in Favor of Solas as the Family Dog
It’s been posited, sometimes facetiously, that Solas was the “family dog” in his younger days. It’s a theory I have been kicking around for a while. If I’m right (and I’m probably not) Solas as the equivalent to the family dog makes a lot of sense – especially when it comes to what he has done in the past and what he plans to do in the future.
My theory is based on the number and positioning of the many Fen’Harel statues found throughout Thedas and in some of the places our Inquisitor travels to in Trespasser. There’s also the odd role wolves seem to play in Elven cuture. Finally, there is Solas’ personality. More under the cut.
We see statues of wolves all over the place but generally they are found in front of ancient Elvhen sites. There are statues at the Temple of Mythal, the Temple of Dirthamon and the grove in Crestwood. I also recently found one near Ghilan’nain’s grove. We see a lot of wolf statues in the Dales (we will get to the Emerald Knight companion thing, presently). Given that Fen’Harel was a rebel in ancient times and the equivalent of the Dalish devil in current day Thedas, what gives? Why all the statues? At the very least they should have been destroyed when he rebelled. It doesn’t make sense.
Let’s look at the positioning of the statues. Invariably we see a reclining wolf placed outside what we’ll call the inner sanctuary. That is, they are always at the front before you go into the place you would pray or make your offerings. It’s not a stretch to believe these statues are guarding the temples. We also see wolf statues placed all over the Vir Dirthara. That’s an even weirder place to see them because Solas implies that he isn’t called Fen’Harel until after his rebellion – so why a statue and why one in a guardian position? We do see howling wolves sometimes. They are mostly seen decorating eluvians. Again, they seem to be guarding or protecting something.
Moving along, we learn about the wolf companions the Emerald Knights have. This is also odd. Why wolves? Fen’Harel is theoretically a Trickster God and responsible for locking up the other gods. Usually, when a culture equates a god with negative attributes, people are wary around the animal representing it. Not in this case. These are guardian wolves and there are statues of them all over the Dales. I don’t think all the statues are of wolf companions. Many of the wolf statues are carved into mountainsides and they are gigantic. It would take a long time to create those without magic. And let’s not forget the statues we see underneath waterfalls in Watcher’s Reach and the Exalted Plains. They should be worn away by the water but aren’t. Watcher’s Reach is an old Elven ruin. Magic presumably keeps them from being worn down. Why? Because Fen’Harel is guarding the Dales.
Fen’Harel as guardian can also be seen in Dalish practice. A statue of Fen’Harel is always placed outside the camp to guard against demons. Given that he is thought of as practically a demon himself, this is again, weird behavior.
The stories we hear about him in Masked Empire are also interesting, particularly the Slow Arrow. In it, a village is beset by a monster. The other gods refuse to help so they turn to Fen’Harel. He answers their prayers by showing up. He realizes he can’t defeat the monster. He is then presented with a hard choice. He can attempt to kill it, even though he knows he will probably die and if that happens so will everyone in the village, or he can do something clever and save some of them. So, he launches the slow arrow. The monster comes, kills the adults but dies before it can kill the children. This is in keeping with Solas’ fairly pragmatic personality. It also, illustrates that Fen’Harel, out of all the gods, even Mythal is always willing to come to the aid of the People.
So, what can we make of this? I believe Fen’Harel was and still is tasked with protecting the People. In a sense he fulfills the position of an Aavar hold beast. How did this happen? I’m not sure. Mythal could have called him out of the Fade with the purpose of protecting the People during the war with the Titans. His spirit could have been bound to a giant wolf. In the Deep Roads there is a codex that indicates depictions of Mythal were found alongside those of Fen’Harel. We know spirits can be reborn. If the giant wolf fell in battle, it might have been reborn and placed in an Elvhen body. Was it a body of it’s own or did it share a body in a similar fashion to Anders and Justice?
Solas as guardian of the People fits in other ways. If he wasn’t one of the Evanuris, he would have been part of the inner circle. He has some very nice castles and talks about missing court intrigue. He had status. If he wasn’t one of the Evanuris, serving as their gurad dog would give him that status
Also, in the library, the spirits replay the final days of the elves when the Veil goes up. They are shocked that Fen’Harel would do something like this. Why? He’s been rebelling for a while so why the surprise? Maybe because he’s supposed to protect The People, not hurt them.
What could have happened? As the Evanuris became more corrupt they began hurting the People. They enslaved them, used them for experiments, hunted them and sacrificed them. If your purpose is to protect the People, what do you as a spirit do?
We see how Cole is diverted from his purpose as a spirit of Compassion into a spirit who performs mercy killings. He’s not the exact opposite of Compassion but he isn’t fulfilling his purpose either. A spirit with a body seems to be more complex. It’s not so binary. If Solas was a bound spirit, the only way to protect his charges might be to do what he did.
Fast-forward to the present day. He wakes up, sees how his people are treated and feels duty-bound to do what he can to save them. In this case by tearing down the Veil. It could be seen as a compulsion.
I’ve probably missed a ton of other evidence but in my opinion, all signs point to Solas at one time being the Protector of the People whose purpose was then twisted. I’d be interested in knowing what other people think. 
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cienie-isengardu · 3 days
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Zuko & Azula and the importance of Ember Island
As I’m not done with talking about ATLA: The Beach episode, so here comes additional observations about Zuko and Azula and how important Ember Island is to their relationship.
There are three major episodes that explore Zuko’s background and his relationship with family.
“The Storm”, told from Iroh’s point of view, focuses on physical and emotional damage done by abusive father
“Zuko Alone” gives us better insight into Royal Family’s dynamic, with a great focus on loving and supporting mother that one night disappeared from Zuko’s life 
while “The Beach” is primarily about Zuko and Azula on the rare occasion when they are far away from Ozai and aren’t forced to fight against each other.
The Beach is also the episode that introduces us to Ember Island, a place that Zuko fondly remembers as a time when his family was truly happy.
In the same episode, after he got in an argument with Mai at the party, Zuko is seen walking toward his family’s old vacation house. The first memory that comes to his mind?
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Him and Azula running together, while we can hear children laughing in the background. There is an adult figure seen a few steps behind the happy children, but the shape is not detailed, so it could be Ozai or someone else. 
This is an interesting choice on creators' part, to make the first memory not about Ursa, the undoubtedly source of comfort and love in Zuko’s life, but about Azula with whom he currently has a complicated relationship due to father’s abuse and favoritism that shattered their childhood bond. What is even more interesting, this is not the first time we see young Azula and Zuko happily chasing each other, as such a memory was already shown in “Zuko Alone”.  
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And mind you, this memory was presented after flashback how Azula asked Zuko to play with her, Ty Lee and Mai so she could make fun of her older brother. What implies that despite how annoying she could be, Azula and Zuko still enjoyed each other's company and genuinely liked spending time together.
Let's back to "The Beach" episode and the scene when Azula sought Zuko, figuring out the old vacation home is where he would come to calm down.
Azula: I thought I'd find you here. Zuko: Those summers we spent here seem so long ago. So much has changed. Azula: Come down to the beach with me. Come on. This place is depressing. 
This is one of three moments in the same episode, when Azula allowed himself to openly admit being emotional and/or upset about something. The house (past) is depressing. She is jealous how Ty Lee is liked by all boys while she has no clue how to interact with them. Her own mother thought she was a monster and how it still hurts. 
Azula’s way to talk with Zuko is much more direct and less confusing than how she talks with him in the palace. There is no Zuzu nor dum-dum nickname, no making fun of his scar, no sentences that in theory answers his questions but in reality does not set him at ease. Here Azula invited him to go with her to the beach because she doesn’t want to be close to their summer house (the place where they were happy once but none visited for years).
Both Zuko and Azula are influenced by the past and this is a rare moment when they allow each other to be vulnerable in a way they can’t be around Ozai and themselves at the palace. In a way they won't be around the campfire (for example, during Zuko's rant about his anger because he doesn't know anymore what is good and what is bad, Azula will call him pathetic. Here there is no insult, no anger, just some sort of understanding between siblings).
A supplement book, The Legacy of Fire Nation adds another layer to the importance of Ember Island. I won’t lie, I’m disappointed that Iroh did not provide that much insight into Zuko’s family and how little there was about Azula, besides some few remarks about how difficult it was for Zuko to grow up in the shadow of younger sister. In contrast, Zuko’s memories about Ember Island are, again, directly connected to Azula first and foremost. In his list to Iroh (who already passed away many years ago), an old Zuko wrote:
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Dearest Uncle Iroh, Do you remember when I used to write you letters? It must be this place, having its effect on me, but here on Ember Island, I find myself introspective and thinking back about my life. I think I used to write to you to buy me presents. Such a cheeky child. I’ve retired now, given up my throne for the peace of this place, to be warmed by the sun and my own memories. I think of you often here. My good memories wash over the bad ones like waves on the shore, clearing the old sand and resetting. I remember summers on the beach, playing with Azula. We didn’t want to kill each other then, though sometimes we acted like it. But the island brought us together. It did that again, one time, in our teens. It was a golden time. One I never felt again until Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph and I had finished our journey and had a moment to enjoy each other’s company. [...]
I can't stress enough: Old Zuko compared his short stay with Azula at Ember Island to the joy he felt when war was officially over and he spent time with his best, beloved friends. A golden time indeed.
We sadly have limited insight into Azula's mind, even less the older version of her, and how she felt about summers spent on the beach with her brother or the one vacation presented on screen. In the episode, she clearly enjoyed some things, like winning the game (with such nice teamwork between Azula and Zuko) or devastating Chen's house where the fateful party took place. Here, on Ember Island, Azula bonded with his brother and admitted to being hurt because mother thought she was a monster, something she internalized as a truth (“My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right, of course, but it still hurt.”). But above everything else, the fact she finds the summer house - where she and Zuko were happy once but her family does not visit anymore - a depressing place implies Azula was no less affected by the past than Zuko.
Similar impression comes from "Azula in the Spirit Temple" comics, in which runaway Azula imagined all her family together, chilling on Ember Island:
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The vision of a happy family is not just about Azula, Ursa, Ozai and Zuko but was extended to Iroh and grandfather Azulan and great-grandfather Sozin(?) - a people she wasn't that close to in the first place. It speaks a lot about Azula that her idea of a happy family, because it is connected to her childhood memories, not the Fire Lord's Palace that in itself representing the Royal Family's status and power. So I dare to say that Ember Island holds a special place in Azula's mind, the same as it does for Zuko.
All of the above makes me think that when Zuko talks about Ember Island, how once his family was happy here, he specifically means his relationship with Azula, before Ozai’s abuse shattered their bond.
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amimuu · 1 day
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A splurg of questions if thats okay: What does VTA Lamb and Narinder do on a daily basis? What are their sleeping arrangments? Routines? How does Narinder navigate the touchy awkwardness currently? Does Lamb ever ask anything of Narinder outside of being put to rest when all is done? (Is there ever any hesitancy about that still, on either side?)
OHHHHH ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS I SEE
Alr lemme think UHHHHH….this is gonna be a long one brace yourselves
What do they do on a daily basis/their routines?
Well, excluding crusades…
Lamb: basically it goes like, morning sermon, checking on the disciples individually, checking on how they are doing on supplies and stuff like that, and just going around the cult making sure everything is working properly, sometimes sending a follower or two on errands to get more stuff if needed. They normally have a little checklist with them to not forget (which they tend to make the night prior). They also go on walks sometimes, in which Narinder usually tags along (I think I answered an ask about this before but am not sure). They walk in silence 80% of the time, and sometimes they stop by the Lamb’s favorite spot (a tree up a small hill close to the limits of the cult grounds). After this Lamb goes back to their room and does NOT sleep unless they really really need to (which can be up to 6 days without sleep)
Narinder on the other side: wakes up, Morning sermon, checking the protection he set around the cult is still working, cleaning the Lamb’s statue (and leaving offerings, usually flowers), following the Lamb around a bit, checking on the Lambs’ memorial altar (set up by the lamb when they first started crusading. Narinder started taking care of it after they died), and then if it is a silent walk day he just goes and tags along. Sometimes he tries to give gifts to the Lamb, but they are usually rejected or immediately disposed of. Still, doesn’t discourage him. After the walk or if there was no walk at all he goes back to his hut and sleeps. Lemme say that cat sleeps a LOT. Which brings us to the next question
Sleeping arrangements:
It’s basically like this.
Both their sleep schedules are concerning for very different reasons. Lamb doesn’t sleep nearly enough, practically avoiding it like the plague. It was easier when they had the crown cuz sleeping was more of a choice, but now that they are stuck in a semi-mortal body that has semi-mortal needs it’s not as easy as it was. They dread it. Because every time they go and sleep there’s a new nightmare waiting for them. About what? About what not, really. They are haunted. And funnily enough Narinder barely shows up in these dreams, and when he does it’s usually in the form of a memory or a comforting presence. Usually
So yeah avoid sleep at all costs!!
And then there’s Nari who just sleeps an unhealthy amount of time ever since he was freed. The cultists assumed he probably needed big amounts of sleep for some reason and just rolled with it. They were wrong. In fact Narinder doesn’t need to sleep AT ALL, but he enjoys it. He finds his dreams comforting especially cuz a certain someone tends to show up. Before resurrecting the Lamb this was his way to process his grief, but after resurrecting them he is finding it very hard to leave the habit behind and honestly? Why should he. Now,
How does Narinder handle the touchy awkwardness?
Oh boy does he struggle. Lamby here tolerates his presence but they made their point clear. They don’t wanna talk. And Narinder respects that, begrudgingly. He does however, bring them gifts as mentioned before, hoping this can somehow ease things a little between them (This is the way in which he knows to give affection, offerings.), but naturally it is ineffective. He is protective of them too, but mostly from afar.
Does Lamb ever ask anything from Narinder aside from their initial request?
Sometimes, but it’s rare. They do however ask him at one point to please take better care of himself. And other stuff later on in the story. But currently, just the occasional “Please go get this or that” or asking for his company during crusades, mostly cuz that’s both their responsibility.
And so we get to the best one.
Is there any hesitancy about it?
OH BOY IS THERE. A big chunk of the main arc revolves around what they both truly want and have wanted for a long time but their lack of communication kept them from. Narinder straight up hates the idea of having to let Lamb go again. While the Lamb is exhausted and feels betrayed, but a part of them wishes to remain with Narinder for the rest of eternity, so that makes things more complicated
See, they’ll eventually talk this all out but that’s after they actually start crusading and are basically obligated to spend time together. Everything I listed here eventually starts to shift as the story progresses , shifts that include Narinder getting into knitting to avoid sleeping all day, discussions about what ifs, lamb accepting some gifts and eventually asking Nari to please not go where they can’t follow. Fun stuff :]
HOPEFULLY THAT WASNT TOO LONG OF A RAMBLE (who am I kidding it was UHM.) and also hope very much it answered your questions :>!!!
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sortasirius · 6 hours
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Another day, another episode I’ll have to put myself through again because I was too stressed out and I know I missed a ton.
But in the meantime, here are my buddie centric thoughts, I’ll do another post on just Buck:
This is the first time that we’ve really had Buck in a life-threatening situation in front of the whole team that they could rush in to immediately. The crew wasn’t there during the tsunami and they couldn’t just run in when he got crushed by the truck because of the bomber, so to see the reaction from all of them about this horrible freak accident, it was something else.
We’ve seen Buck lose it twice when Eddie nearly died (buried alive and shot) and that desperation that he showed is mirrored in a way with Eddie. Screaming Buck’s name, the parallel of Eddie trying to drag him back onto the ladder, the same way Buck dragged Eddie under the rig when he was shot. Two sides of the same coin.
Eddie trying to take over compressions from Chim before Bobby has to actually rip him away and tell him he’s driving.
“We’ll do our best.”
“Do better.”
The way Eddie is clearly about to lose it when they wheel Buck away, held up by the rest of the crew.
And then…Chris. Chris, who insists on seeing Buck, “I have to talk to him.” Yet another parallel of Eddie having to talk to Chris about what happened to Buck the way Buck had to talk to Chris about what happened to Eddie. How they both lose it when they talk about losing the other.
And you can see, when they’re in the room and Chris is asking questions, how Eddie is at a distance, and shakes his head at once point when Chris can’t see, never directly looking at Buck the entire time he’s in the room.
The most insane thing about this is that it’s the only time we see Eddie in Buck’s hospital room when he’s unconscious. We see everyone else in there repeatedly, but not Eddie. Why? They’re best friends, surely he would want to be there for him.
But the thing is, I don’t think he can. Looking at the scene with Chris, how he refuses to get near Buck’s bed, how he won’t even look directly at him, Ryan Guzman says it all without saying a word.
He can’t be in there, he can’t look at Buck because looking at him like that, with the tubes and the ECMO, it makes it real that he could die. That Eddie could lose him.
Plus, Eddie is a paramedic, he knows what an induced coma and ECMO mean, even more so when you take into account that Chim literally tells him when Shannon is dying that, if they intubate her, she likely won’t wake up. He’s reliving that all over again, grappling with the idea that Buck will never wake up, that he’ll never speak to him again.
I truly think the only reason he went in that room was because Chris demanded it. And it’s not because he doesn’t care or doesn’t want to, it’s because he can’t stand to think that he might lose him.
It’s so fascinating how similar their reactions are, but are marked by their distinct personalities. Buck goes to pieces, screaming and desperate, while Eddie shuts in on himself, so that not even Chris can really get through to him. Eddie trying to pull Buck up while Buck tried to dig Eddie up. Eddie keeps his distance when Buck wakes up, where Buck was there the moment Ana called.
This feels important, to finally have a similar moment for Eddie when we’ve had it twice for Buck, the idea of losing one another, reckoning with that potential grief, a window into what would happen to one of the other died. Truly haunting acting choices from Ryan, it made me see more than ever that Buck is truly number two in Eddie’s life, only behind Christopher.
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iocity · 12 hours
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ASL ‘Merica AU where Sabo feels guilty about involving his brothers in his conflicts with his biological parents. They are real bona fide assholes, and Sabo does not in any way want to reconnect with them, but they are PERSISTENT. With every yelled word bouncing off the walls of the brothers shared home, Sabo’s guilt grows. He stopped believing when they said they would change years ago, but he can’t seem to shake them off.
Sabo who doesn’t tell his brothers how he feels because they have their own problems, their own struggles that seem so much bigger than old parent problems. He is supposed to be strong. He is sure that in a house of people with “real” issues, his won’t matter.
Sabo who can’t help but get angry when he has to deal with his biological family, but not regular angry. It sticks for the whole day, onto the next, and that same feeling of guilt creeps up the back of his neck. He hates how his brothers seem to walk on eggshells around him when he is in his moods, but he can’t stand to pretend to be in a sunny mood he is not in (his brothers can tell anyway). He snaps because his parents are the knife in his side, and he is in pain.
Sabo who hates crying, because crying means his parents have won the nonexistent but constantly present battle between them. Crying means that they have made him weak again, made him helpless, made him remember what he used to be. Guilt is met with shame, and shame accompanied by sorrow and anger. His own reflection an overwhelming cacophony of everything he hates. His mother’s lips, his father’s eyes; his own genetics betray him. He feels his parents in him, and he braces himself as fear overtakes him; his hands grip the wall as he silences his breaths.
Sabo who holds his breath to exact his control, to break their hold over him. His breath can’t shake if he doesn’t let it out; his eyes can’t cry if his heart is trying to escape his chest. If he is in control he can be cold, calculated; he can give his parents what they deserve. What they gave to him. To him, it’s logic, it’s reason, and it’s strength.
Sabo who can’t help the jolt that runs through him when he feels arms around him, his chest heaving with warm air, the ache within him worsening. He has been pulled out of his control and into the warmth and unpredictability of his brothers’ arms. All at once he is melting, and it shows in the way his chest heaves into a sigh, then a sob, in the way that water flows down his cheeks until he is sure there is a puddle under him, and in the way that he reaches blindly for them through his tears. They are already there.
Sabo whose apologies fall on deaf ears, because they don’t give a damn about his parents (something they now make sure to tell him often), they give a damn about him.
Luffy who can’t help but cry too, because Sabo is not only his older brother, but his heart. Not by blood but by choice which, for him, means so much more. It’s only natural to cry when your heart hurts. He clings to Sabo, hoping to solidify his presence, because he is there. He isn’t a thought or a feeling, he isn’t fleeting. He is permanent. Heart to heart, warm and present. He doesn’t understand; he never cared much about things like his biological family. Despite that, he is shifting to his feet, making Sabo’s favorite snack consuming mind because his words often fail him but his hands rarely do. Food brings people together, right? He hopes Sabo is hungry, so they can eat together.
Ace whose clenched jaw, deep frown, and furrowed brows speak for him. ‘Why didn’t you tell us? Why did you do this alone?’ But he’ll nag later, because first and foremost he is the oldest brother. So for now Ace will hold his little brother while he cries and control the anger bubbling up within him, not only at Sabo’s parents, but at the world. He is unmoving even when Sabo has stilled from his crying, silent when Luffy wriggles out of their grip to grab snacks for them. As still and permanent as rock, letting Sabo lean on him until he finds the strength to walk on his own.
Sabo whose guilt and shame crashes against the corners of his mind, frustration rising because he is full of feelings he doesn’t recognize and therefore can’t control.
Sabo who is spiraling until a warm gas station honeybun is being shoved under his nose by forceful hands, ratty sandals being tucked aside as Luffy sits criss-cross in front of him with a plate of his own, Ace’s plate balancing on Luffy’s straw hat. A hand is on his neck as he rocks back and forth slowly, looking nervous.
“I don’t think it was supposed to be microwaved with the wrapper on y’all.”
“You’re shitting me.”
Sabo who hears Ace cursing about the house being rented and microplastics, and Luffy arguing back despite knowing he is in the wrong.
Sabo who laughs. In disbelief, in amusement, in insanity. He can’t tell anymore, but he feels the waves stilling in his mind, replaced with the sound of his brothers’ quarreling and his own laughter. Because they don’t give a damn about what he perceives to be weakness; he doesn’t need to feel ashamed.
Sabo who knows his life isn’t fixed and who knows he will have to talk to his brothers eventually, but who also loves his brothers and warm gas station honey buns. Sabo who feels at home in this familiar warmth.
“Man, I love you guys.”
Tags c|:D : @porschethemermaid
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whizzinpast · 2 days
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Sua, Till & Idols
Absolutely adoring the vast differences between Sua and Till. Absolutely adoring their non-existent interactions even more.
In my heart of hearts I want to believe that Till doesn’t know the true nature of Sua’s and Mizi’s relationship just so he could realize it in the worst way imaginable.
I want him to be ambitious and eager to prove himself as the superior choice (maybe in an AU). He has to sing a duet with Sua to prove it? No problem. Piece of cake. He’s got vocals that would squash Sua’s before she could sing her verse. He’s versatile. He’s got spunk.
But then the song ends up to be a ballad, and as Sua grows more confident in her voice, Till’s ambition gets doused. He looks at the audience, and it clicks—
Sua was thriving because Mizi couldn’t take her eyes off her. She wasn’t even sparing Till a glance. And that makes his voice go so quiet Sua outshines him by the end of the song, strutting across their makeshift stage with a soft, icy grace that Till could never replicate because it’s not who he is.
I want Till to watch as Mizi lifts up Sua by her waist so high up her face blocks out the light, and for a moment, Sua would become something untouchable whereas Till was a heap of mangled remains in her shadow. I want him to look at her, and for Sua to look back not with smugness, but with an odd, sad expression that tells him ‘I know. I don’t understand either,’ and I want that to be the final nail in the coffin. The realization that he wasn’t even an option, that Sua wouldn’t be where she is without Mizi’s utmost devotion.
All this, just so he could curl up in a corner and cry his little heart out, feeling violently self-conscious because, compared to Sua, everything about him was too messed up to be looked at.
(He will still love Mizi, of course. He can’t not love her, regardless of what he is. But sometimes, it gets really hard.)
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