#about how I was responsible for their marriage being on the rocks and verge of divorce

[herawell]

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#negativity cw #my parents’ anniversary is next week and they are not getting anything other than a 1 line ‘congrats’ in the whatsapp group chat #no gift no party no surprise trip no nothing #I’m the eldest child and now earning so I’m half certain they’ll side-eye me for not doing anything #idfc #it might seem petty and childish but after the Dec 2022 fights with my mom #where for two days in a row she screamed at me for hours #about how I was responsible for their marriage being on the rocks and verge of divorce #as well as a host of other fucked up things #on top of similar such threats/emotional blackmail every year since I was 13 #I am never doing anything again to celebrate their Union #I still get them bday gifts and Father’s Day/Mother’s Day stuff #we still have a good relationship (ik it seems odd but despite everything we do) #but you don’t get to spend a decade blaming me for your adult inability to maintain your adult relationship #and expect me to celebrate it once I’m an adult #also my mom has repeatedly and very candidly refused to apologize for any of the above so this isn’t a case of #silently fuming and childishly refusing to communicate

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 27th of September 2021

This is speculation only

Cards drawn 23rd September 2021

Question: How is Her Majesty the Queen?

Note: This reading was done before the NYC pseudo-royal 'tour'.

Interpretation: She is at the end of a cycle, reviewing her life, and stressed about current and future situations within the monarchy.

Card One: The World. This is one of two major arcana cards in the reading, and a dominant energy of the reading. The world card is about being at the end of a cycle, looking back to review the work done to reach this place, and taking time to celebrate before you step into the future. This is what Her Majesty is doing.

Her Majesty is reviewing her entire life as a monarch, with all the successes and failures, and reflecting on everything she has learnt and done that has brought her to this point in time: on the verge of celebrating her platinum jubilee. She is taking a moment to review and reflect on the past before she moves into the future, starting with the celebrations next year. She knows that she no longer has 60, 40, or even 20 years ahead of her, and she is using this time to reflect on her life as Queen and to try and distil what she has learnt into advice that she can give to her successors.

Card Two: The Six of Wands. This is card about the success of a project and celebrating that success. It can be the success of a project or achieving an important milestone. The card shows Jason holding triumphantly aloft the goal of his quest, the golden fleece.

In this reading the Six of Wands is the Jubilee celebrations for next year, a milestone celebration for Her Majesty. The Queen is looking over the Jubilee plans and giving her input for the public celebration of her years as a monarch. The energy here is of an activity that is relaxing and relatively stress free, so I think she is enjoying the planning.

Card Three: The Seven of Wands. This is a card of conflict, and the cards before and after it show what the conflict is about - the Jubilee and Harry (the Hermit card). The Seven of Wands can be about holding your ground or your position against threats to it. The picture shows Jason and his followers fighting with the supporters of his usurper uncle.

This card shows conflict, and the conflict is between HMTQ and Prince Harry. It concerns the Jubilee celebrations. Her Majesty has taken a certain position on this - most likely concerning Harry's involvement - and is fighting to hold her ground against the supporters of Prince Harry/Prince Harry himself, who most likely wants a greater involvement (like Jason's usurper uncle wanted to keep ruling the kingdom, Prince Harry wants to have his old place in these celebrations).

Card Four: The Hermit. This is the second major arcana card of the reading, so it is the second strong energy of the reading. The card shows the god Kronus, also known as Saturn, who we see today in the figure of Father Time.

This card has two energies. The first, minor energy is that of a sun-sign Virgo, as the Hermit is the card of Virgo. Prince Harry is a sun-sign Virgo. This energy of Prince Harry is tied into the previous card of conflict.

The second and stronger energy of this card is that of being alone, as the Hermit is alone, and of age and approaching death, as per the figure of Kronus/Saturn/Father Time. Her Majesty knows that she is at the end of her life, and the celebrations for next year may very well be the last major celebrations of her reign. She feels alone, bereft of support, as Prince Philip is no longer with her, and she misses him. This energy is of age, the death of loved ones, and mourning for them. I feel that her parents and her sister are also in her thoughts. Her Majesty is the last one left of her family 'group' - her parents, sister, and husband have all gone before her, and this makes her sad. She would have liked at least one of them to be with her for her jubilee celebrations (realistically Philip or Margaret), but that was not to be.

Card Five: The Nine of Pentacles. This is the card of someone who has worked hard and who is contemplating the fruit of their labour. The card shows the craftsman Daedalus standing and contemplating the result of his lifetime of work - the golden pentacles at his feet.

This is what the Queen is doing - looking over her lifetime of work and contemplating her legacy, soon to be celebrated as her Platinum Jubilee. However, the Nine of Pentacles is also a card about being single, and Her Majesty is recently widowed. The energy here is threaded through with sadness and loss. In the midst of preparing for her jubilee, HMTQ feels the loss of her husband keenly. She is reminded that she is once again alone, without the man who has been the rock of her long reign, and she feels this keenly.

Underlying Energy One: The Four of Cups. The card shows Psyche sitting between her sisters, as they gossip with her about her marriage and her husband. The gossip makes Psyche discontented with her married life, as she never sees her husband and gossip says that he is a monster.

The Four of Cups is a card of emotional dissatisfaction. It can mean being disappointed in something, or feeling disillusioned with life in general. In this deck, the suggestion is that those feelings arise from listening to gossip. It can also be a time when you are reevaluating things internally, and not taking any new opportunities because you want to be sure within yourself that they are the right thing to do before you pursue them.

This is how HMTQ is feeling underneath it all. She is aware of gossip, which here is coming across as public opinion/what people are saying, and it is bothering her. She is dissatisfied with how things are going or how they have turned out. She is rethinking or reevaluating her decisions as she is no longer sure that they are correct, and she doesn't want to proceed any further along a set path until she has worked out the right thing to do.

Underlying Energy Two: The Eight of Swords. This card shows Orestes trapped in a semi-circle of swords. On one side are the Furies, beings that torment him for murdering his mother, and on the other side is the god Apollo, who laid on Orestes the task of murdering his mother to avenge his father.

The Eight of Swords is a card of feeling very stressed and trapped, but that feeling is only in your mind. If you look at the situation carefully, there is a way out, as Orestes could walk backwards out of the semi circle of swords and run away from the Furies, but usually the person can't see the way out of the situation.

With respect to the dissatisfaction in the Four of Cups, HMTQ feels trapped and extremely stressed. She knows that the situation is causing people to feel very upset and vindictive (the Furies), and that this anger is directed at the BRF (the god Apollo). She can not see a way out of the situation, and that is the cause of her stress. The way out is likely to involve going backwards in a situation, and here the energy is of rescinding something that she has said, or taking back a gift that was made, and she does not want to do that as it is against her precepts of good behaviour, so she is blind to that solution as it is something that one just does not do in her eyes. The situation most likely involves someone or someones who HMTQ sees as trapped by their behaviour (as Orestes is trapped in the semi circle of swords), and she is unable to influence them into better behaviour (Apollo is looking very stern but Orestes is so stressed that he is not listening to Apollo), and so the anger at their actions falls on the BRF as a whole as well as on that person or persons.

Underlying Energy Three: The Three of Wands. This card shows Jason standing on the shores of a river. he has lost a sandal, and by that sign is identified as the rightful king. The usurper king, his uncle Pelias, kneels before him and offers him the crown.

The Three of Wands is a card about initial success in a venture. A project has been started and so far things have turned out well. More opportunities are available to you, and they will enable you to expand your current venture, but you have to go looking for them and that may involve venturing out of your comfort zone.

In this deck, the Three of Wands is my card for the line of succession - the passing down of the crown to the next legal inheritor - and it is this energy that is coming through here. HMTQ is worried about the line of succession. It is not an energy of confidence, but one of concern. This could just be a mother worried about how her son will cope with the responsibilities of a new position, but the energy feels like more than this. HMTQ is worried about what sort of king Charles will be, and how his reign will affect the future of the BRF. She has genuine concern about his ability to be a ruler and not second in command. I'm not getting that she thinks he is unfit to rule, but rather that she thinks his judgement is questionable at times, and that she thinks that he may make decisions that will not be in the best interests of the country and those decisions will come back and damage the monarchy, to the detriment of the future heirs, William and George.

Underlying Energy Four: The King of Cups. This is the card of a water sign person, particularly a Scorpio, and here it stands for Prince Charles, who is a sun sign Scorpio. Taken with the card before it (the Three of Wands), this tells me that Her Majesty's concern with the line of succession is focused on Prince Charles in this case, and with the future of the monarchy as represented by her heir.

Major Arcana Cards: The World and the Hermit. Her Majesty is aware that she is at the end of a cycle, and she is reviewing her life as Queen and looking at the results of her life of service. She feels very alone as she does this.

Dominant Suit: Three of the nine cards are wands, the suit of PR and of creative energy. In this reading, wands are coming across as how the actions of individuals within the line of succession are affecting the stability of the monarchy through their affect on the public perception of the monarchy, both now and in the future.

Conclusion: Her Majesty is at the end of a cycle, and she is looking back over her past in preparation for what is to come - the celebration of her Jubilee and, eventually, the end of her reign. She is enjoying planning the milestone celebration of her Jubilee, but with this comes conflicts with Prince Harry. She feels very alone and very single as she reviews her life's work and contemplates it from the perspective of being at the end of her reign. She is missing Prince Phillip very much in all of this. Underneath it all, she is dissatisfied, worried and stressed about the positions of various members of the family, and she is reviewing her actions with respect to those people. She also has concerns about Charles's judgement as future king and how that will affect the monarchy.

[threadofdestiny]

Magnolia (Bakugou x F!Reader)

Feudal Japan AU

Shogun!Bakugou x Midoriya’s sister!reader

Summery: Her mother, lady Midoriya Inko, had once told her that the gods had predestined a path for every single person. All she had to do was follow the path and trust that it would lead her to happiness. But how could (Y/N) find happiness in a political formed marriage with her brother’s rival, a man known for being brutal and cold hearted?

Warnings: sexual content in later chapters / period-typical-sexism / strong language / violence / Drama / Angst / Fluff / Slow Burn/ political marriage / Reader is Izuku's sister / period-typical-discriptions like vague mentions of longer hair to form typical hairstyles or specific wardrobe / Bakugou is not good at feelings / Bakugou is a mean, explosive boi / third-person perspektive

Wattpad

AO3

If someone wants to be tagged, just let me know :)

Taglist: @bakugous-mamas​, @bnhastories​, @brittkimm​, @ ellieitstimetosleep, @belladonna-the-aphrodisiac​

Chapter 1, Chapter 4, Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Crumbling down

"You can't be serious, Kacchan...This is going way to fast! I am sure that we could make him keep quiet until we are past the traditional engagement period! If not, I could send her to some of my relatives until the rumors had died down. Away from the capital. Away from society."

"Damn Deku! Are you really that fucking starry-eyed to take a chance like that? Your sister was attacked a mere few hours after you were publicly declared as the heir to the throne! As if she would be safe anywhere else than with you or me."

"P-Perhaps no one realized what happened on the festival. Even if, such a swift action will only make people more suspicious, maybe even casting you in a bad light! In the worst case they'll think you've laid hands on her before your wedding."

"What do I care about that? Let them think that I couldn't keep my hands off of her long enough. In their eyes, I'm already the bad guy anyway. It's better than having followers of Shindo trying to spread lies and people to start questioning the hell out of you in response. When they are going to question her reputation, they are going to question yours as well!"

"Like that's even remotely better, when they are going to question yours!"

"Are you deaf, you dumbass? It does not fucking matter! They should fear me anyway!", the shogun interrupted his interlocutor in a sharp voice before continuing his explanation a bit more quietly but just as urgently after he paused for a second to take a breath:"He could lay a claim on her, forcing you to concede, if you want to prevent a scandal. You'd be forced to break off the engagement between her and me to give her to Shindo at worst. Do you really want to give that slimy liar the power he would automatically receive as the brother-in-law of the next emperor?", Bakugou growled dangerously agitated behind the closed doors of Izuku's study.

All the servants of the household had to retire earlier that night by Lady Midoriya's instructions in order to put the illusion of privacy to their noble masters minds. The now dead silence in the halls of the mansion was only broken by the dull sounds of the quarreling men which sounds penetrated through the thin walls, giving the lonely almost creepy mood a dramatic atmosphere. The banging of shattering porcelain and the vigorous shouts of the men, startled the two lady's who were standing in the hallway all alone by themselves. Sobbing, (Y/N) pressed her head against her quivering mother's shoulder, flinching every single time when either one of the men exchanged too harsh words with one another. Both ladies listened to the heated argument between the furious shogun and the equal upset head of their family, not daring to interrupt them in any way. With trembling fingers, the young girl clawed at the fabric of Lady Midoriya's kimono, hiccuping every few seconds due to the endless tears that streamed down her face. Her mother tried to calm her down by gently stroking over her now loose hair, but the resounding sounds of the quarrel, made her flinch over and over again.

"I'm so sorry... I-I'm so so sorry!", (Y/N) repeated desperately against her mother's neck, who tried to soothe her daughter, by rocking her back and forth like a child that cried out of the loss of its most precious toy. "Shh, you're not to blame. Everything will be fine!", she whispered into (Y/N)'s hair as she hugged her tighter against her soft, motherly chest, hoping to shoo her daughters inner fears away. Clanking and rumbling sounds came from the study as Bakugou began to shout again:"Do you think I feel like tying a damn, troublesome woman to my leg right now? I've got more important things to do than to deal with your family's shit, but we don't have a fucking choice, because all the other ways this could turn out are even shittier!", Bakugou's aggressive voice echoed through the walls, like the roaring of thousand thunderstorms as he loudly stomped around the closed room like a rampant bull. Wincing, (Y/N) dug her face deeper into her mother's shoulder as she heard him talking about her like she was a nuisance. The young girl clutched at Lady Midoriya, like she was the only thing that prevented her from drowning in her own sorrows. As if the woman was the only one that could save her from the path she would have to take after that life changing night.

How could she have been so careless? What had she done to deserve that fate? By a single moment of not thinking straight, her entire world had turned upside down once again. Only to boost her unstoppable fate to the immeasurable. With each passing second her control over the situation had slipped away, like grains of sand incessantly trickling between her fingers. She had conjured up a disaster that had fueled his dislike against her and her family and had managed to become a burden for her brother and her fiancé in a mere few hours. How should she survive such a start to her predetermined future and turn it around for the better?

"Kacchan, please! It was not my sister's fault that she was attacked. If anything, it was my fault. I should have taken better care of her. I should have anticipated that people would try to use her to get to me.", Izuku replied in anguish. Even through the barrier, (Y/N) could hear her brother's voice breaking as he blamed himself. He, too, was on the verge of tears. She heard it loud and clear. Her compassionate brother blamed himself, though he could do even less about Shindo's act than she could. If she had just stayed with him, or asked him to accompany her, none of this would have had to happen.

.

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It had taken an eternity until both men had calmed down enough that their voices could no longer be heard through the thin walls. Another eternity had passed until, all at once, heavy footsteps sounded near the door before it was pushed open with a loud thud, revealing the illuminated study. Wincing, mother and daughter pulled apart as the looming shogun appeared in the doorway. His vermilion eyes scanned the hallway until they finally landed on his quivering fiance. When he caught sight of her teary eyes, his grim expression softened minimally, while he beckoned her over with a gesture of his right hand:"Come here, girl. There are some things we need to discuss!"

Nodding obediently, (Y/N) followed her future husband into the room where her brother was standing by the window, looking dejectedly through the cold glass. The darkness swallowed up the details of the garden behind and plunged everything into barely discernible shadows. The dimmed light of the individual candles, gleaned on the glassy surface and reflected Izuku's lamenting face. Without hesitation, the young girl knelt down on the soft tatami mats before stretching out her hands in front of her in a pleading pose, asking for forgiveness. Her forehead almost touched the ground as she quietly raised her thin voice: "My actions has brought grave repercussions upon our family. No matter what the consequences will be, I will endure them without hesitation!", the youngest Midoriya announced with a trembling voice, before she heard her brother draw in his breath sharply. "By the gods, (Y/N)! You can't help what happened tonight! I should kneel before you and beg for forgiveness!", exclaimed Izuku after turning to his sister, trembling resentfully. With brisk steps, he had run up to the youngest Midoriya to hastily pull her up by her upper arm, pressing her against him in a firm hug. Bakugou was silent as he watched the spectacle for a few moments with an unmoved face, before shortly after he cleared his throat to draw the sibling's attention:"We don't have time for this sentimental nonsense!", the blond shogun growled softly as he turned his gaze exclusively on his fiance's quivering frame, to address her directly:"It doesn't matter at all who is to blame for this fuss. As you had said, we're in a predicament now. So either way, you're not going to avoid having to endure the consequences.", he added as he busily began pacing the room with long strides. Izuku broke away from his sister, nodding sadly, as he placed his hands on her shoulders to calm her down. "Bakugou is right.", the newly appointed heir confirmed as he briefly pressed his fingers against his sister's collarbone, looking her straight in the eyes. Nodding, the young girl bit her lower lip as she waited for the consequences to be revealed.

An uneasy feeling spread through the area of her stomach as she gazed with teary eyes from her brother to her grimly looking betrothed, just to look back to Izuku, when he spoke up again: "I am sorry, sister, but we do not have time to wait for the proper engagement period to be over. To counteract certain rumors we will have to hold the wedding at the end of this week. That means you'll be leaving together with Bakugou in a few days to accompany him to his lands!", Izuku explained softly as he sadly averted his eyes.

A shiver ran down (Y/N)'s spine as her brother uttered the words she had secretly feared to hear. She hadn't even noticed that she had been holding her breath with pent-up tension, but she couldn't explain otherwise where the slight dizziness came from after she finally exhaled thin air out of her aching lungs. Nodding dejectedly, the youngest Midoriya clutched the thin fabric of her robe before letting her gaze drift to the side to look ultimately at her future husband's face. When her glassy eyes collided with Bakugou's vermilion ones, her breath caught within her throat for a brief moment. All of a sudden, it felt as if the youngest Midoriya's heart had burst out of her chest with all its might. It raced in unison with her thoughts as she slowly became aware of the full extent of her situation, clenching achingly, as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

Gone was the time to prepare herself for her inevitable future. Gone were the future opportunities to get to know Bakugou before their wedding. Gone was the vast amount of time she previously had left with her family, suddenly vanishing into thin air. All at once the memories she could have collected with them before her departure were torn away from her because of one single moment. One single mistake. One single power hungry man. In a mere few days she would belong to Bakugou Katsuki. She would have to ultimately leave her home to go with a man she had met only twice. Never in her life had she left her family for more than a few hours at once.

Forcing herself to come to her senses, (Y/N) ripped herself out of her depressing thoughts, shaking her head absently, before she averted her gaze away from the Shogun's captivating expression. She nodded again, accepting her fate, as she swallowed hard. "I-I see!", she murmured relentingly, as she turned her saddened gaze back to her older brother, who's eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"Good, then we can now move on to the short term planning. We don't have much time to prepare, since I can't postpone the journey.", declared Bakugou bluntly, without trying to sugarcoat the situation as he sat down at the table and picked up a quill and some sheets of paper. With a faltering breath, (Y/N) listened to her future husband's words, after she and her brother had joined him at the table. Izuku sighed heavily as he briefly reached for his sister's hand to give it a firm squeeze before responding to his guest's statement: "...That would mean we barely have time to organize a proper ceremony!", he remarked gloomily as he briefly glanced in (Y/N)'s direction. Bakugou, however, just shrugged disinterested, before replying nonchalantly: "I don't mind. I'm not interested in throwing a huge celebration and having my feet kissed by some lickspittles, anyway.", the shogun grumbled, before he suddenly paused, turning his eyes towards his fiance. (Y/N) took a moment to realize that Bakugou was looking at her questioningly. He hadn't said it, but it seemed surprisingly like he was waiting for her opinion. The young girl blinked a few times before she dared to speak up: "A-ah.. a small ceremony sounds pleasant, I guess. P-Perhaps only with our closest confidants. It would be quite... private.", she breathed uncertainly, though truthfully, while she tilted her head to the side in thanks. When Bakugou nodded in satisfaction, the youngest Midoriya relaxed a tiny bit, watching how her betrothed began to write down some notes on the blank paper. The scratching of the quill on the paper echoed unnaturally loud in the otherwise silent room, before Izuku cleared his throat to share his own thoughts as well.

"We already handled most of the details in the previous contract. However, I have decided that I would like to send my sisters personal maid with her, so that she has someone around her who is not a stranger to her...", Izuku began slowly, before hesitating for a moment. He watched as the blond man included his request in the supplemental contract before the heir began again: "A-As for the dowry..." "I'm still not interested in the dowry, Deku. Save it for your sister, or do something else with it.", the Shogun interrupted brusquely, surprising (Y/N) who listened in astonishment. Her dowry was extremely high. She had never thought anyone would let that much money slip away, but Bakugou brushed it aside as if they were talking about some pocket money. Izuku caught himself, clearing his throat before nodding in defeat:"Very well, then, as it is customary from the bride's family, we will at least cover the cost of the wedding ceremony. I'm sure we can get the temple master to organize a mass in short notice when we offer a larger donation.", he murmured as he also reached for his own quill to write down a few sentences in the process. It took some time for Bakugou and her brother to finally agree on all the last minute changes, but in the end they both signed the amended contracts, finalizing the youngest Midoriya's short-term change of fortune.

Finally, Bakugou clicked his tongue as he rolled up his copy of the contract. Rain pattered against the pitch-black window, which successfully warded off the cold of the looming night. Red eyes gazed scrutinizingly in the flickering candlelight over the masses of scrolls and books which rested on the shelves against the walls, while the shogun let his rolled-up document disappear into the inside of his traditional robe.

"We are getting married this Saturday and will leave early the next morning. Use the rest of your time to prepare yourself.", the Shogun spoke as he turned his attention to his fiance. After receiving a sad nod from (Y/N), he slowly rose from his seated position. Izuku did the same to escort his future brother-in-law out of their home, but before Bakugou started to move, the blond man silently bent down once more to place a small box on the tabletop in front of the young girl.

"I would have actually given it to you before I left, but now that you're coming along, you get your second engagement gift now!", the blond shogun grumbled dismissively as he turned his face away with the corners of his mouth pulled down. Astonished, (Y/N) glanced up at Bakugou, before she accepted the gift as she slowly reached for the small box.

When she opened it, she caught sight of an ornately designed fan. The intricate woodwork of the dark handle was set with gleaming auspicious-looking copper-colored gems, while the silken fabric shone in a velvety black. Gulping, the young girl carefully lifted the gift out of its box so that she could open the fan with equal care. On the dark background, forest green and blazing orange lines formed a carefully drawn stylized dragon, which was surrounded by its own brightly burning fire. In its sharp claws it clasped a white flower, protected from the flames that surrounded the majestic beast. The motif seemed almost bizarre to her. As if the monster would want to crush the fragile flower in its paws, while at the same time it almost seemed as if it wanted to guard it. Its sharp eyes flashed dangerously up at her and reminded her in a strange way of the man who had given her this gift. A shiver ran down (Y/N)'s spine, but she tried to pull herself together in front of her fiance. Never in her entire life had she seen anything so fierce looking on such a delicate object. Holding her breath for a short moment, (Y/N) gazed at the precious craftsmanship before looking up again to try to smile gratefully at the Shogun. "It is beautiful, your grace. Thank you!", she breathed truthfully. Bakugou nodded briefly in response before turning away from her. (Y/N) could hear the two men moving away from her as she looked back down at her engagement gift. Her fingers carefully traced the fine lines of the sublime dragon as she took a shaky breath, asking herself if her fiance associated her with the delicate flower just as she had associated him with the mythical creature which gloomily looked up to her.

.

.

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"Knock, knock!", sounded the gentle voice of Lady Midoriya, who cautiously entered her daughters chambers some time after the shogun had left their estate. Startled, (Y/N) spun around from her position at her small table, but smiled sadly as she caught her mother heading towards her with a tea tray in her arms. Her young daughter had been sitting alone for what felt like an eternity, unable to fall asleep after that dreadful night. "I thought a soothing tea would be just the right thing right now.", she murmured in a put-upon cheerful tone as she carefully set down her favorite tea set.

"Thank you, mother!", murmured (Y/N) as she rose slightly from her kneeling position to reach for the warm pot in trained expert fashion, to pour her mother and herself a soothing cup of warm herbal tea. Silence enveloped them as they both let their gaze drift aimlessly around the room after (Y/N) had leaned back again. Sighing, the older lady ran her fingers through her green hair, untied from it's usually elegant knot, before finally turning to her daughter and smiling lovingly at her. Seeing her grown-up girl dejectedly trying to suppress the quivering of her lips, Lady Inko raised her hand to place it reassuringly on (Y/N)'s shoulder. "Don't worry, my little one! It'll be alright!", she whispered comfortingly as she patted her daughter's arm.

Hoping to take away some of her mother's worries, (Y/N) tried again to put on a small smile, but she failed miserably. Taking a deep shaky breath, the young girl tried to sort out her thoughts, before she dared to speak her mind: "What do you think about the Shogun?", she finally asked uncertainly, reaching for her cup of tea to occupy her fidgeting fingers. Rain pattered against the cool window, which was covered by velvet curtains to block out the darkness of the night. A few candles illuminated the comfortably furnished room in dim light, wrapping it in a soft blanket of warm shades. Humming silently to herself, Lady Inko lifted her gaze toward the ceiling as she pondered over her daughter's question.

"Well... The Shogun is an excellent match.", her mother replied after a moment. "Despite his reputation?", (Y/N) quietly probed further after taking a sip of the warm liquid. Lady Inko nodded after a moment's consideration before looking at her daughter again. "You know, your father and I are old acquaintances of Lord and Lady Bakugou. The young Shogun's father, worked side by side with your father in the Emperor's court. And Lady Bakugou is from the same province as me. I have known Mitsuki since childhood. We lost touch after she moved to the countryside with her husband, but I know that she is a good person just like her husband. They wouldn't be able to raise a cruel man. It's a pity that the two of them can't attend the ceremony, but by the time they would have arrived in the capital, you would have left long ago.", her mother began, smiling bittersweetly. Seeing that she had (Y/N)'s full attention, Lady Inko continued her descriptions with mild amusement:"Probably the shogun got his brusque trait from his mother. You should know that Mitsuki was incredibly fierce even back when we both were still unmarried. I remember that she never minced her words, no matter who was in front of her."

The youngest Midoriya's eyes widened in surprise as she looked at her mother in disbelief:"But it's not looked upon favorably when a woman simply speaks out what she thinks." Giggling, Lady Midoriya nodded in agreement. "You're right, but just because the noble society determines what's proper and what's not, doesn't mean there aren't people out there who think differently. Besides, not every man prefers a silent woman, you know? And hardly anyone shows his true face in public. I think there's more to the Shogun than the cold-blooded warrior everyone thinks he is, and I know you feel the same way."

Thoughtfully, (Y/N) let her mother's words sink in while she fixed her gaze on the liquid contents of her cup. On the moving surface, she could see a distorted vision of her own face, but instead of looking at it, she tried to imagine the man she and her mother were talking about.

In less than a week she would have to leave her entire life behind to follow Bakugou. The thought frightened her, no matter how much she tried to give herself courage throughout, but her mother was right. She truly believed that there was more to the Shogun than what met the eye. He was temperamental and aloof, and yet he had proven that he intended to protect her in spite of it all. He had told her in the gardens that he would not agree to marry a woman who let herself be trampled upon and had encouraged her to speak for herself.

But... Was it perhaps naive of her to interpret more into a person she only met twice?

#bakugou x reader #bakugou #bakugou x female reader #my hero academia

[jason-the-mommas-boy]

SFW Alphabet with Jason Voorhees

Summary: What the title says! The SFW alphabet with Jason and his S/O (that’s you!) 

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This has been in my google docs for awhile and I’ve been trying to finish up all of my drafts, so here we are! Hope you enjoy these <3

A = Affection (How affectionate are they with a s/o?)

Whenever you and Jason are free for a while, all he ever does is be affectionate! Don’t be surprised if he keeps you in his lap and just cuddles you there (with mask nuzzles included!) for as long as time permits him to. 

Jason tends to be very affectionate to make up for the fact that he can’t say “I love you” since he lacks a voice. It’s also his way of showing you how much he appreciates you!

Your daily tasks are usually interrupted by Jason just picking you up for a hug! He loves hugs the most..

Whenever he comes home, he drops everything to just spend at least a good 10 minutes in a cuddle session with you.

Honestly, if he could, he’d spend the rest of his days by just sitting by a fire with you in his arms. 

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?) 

Going to be completely honest, you will not need to do much at all to take Jason’s breath away

Wearing makeup or something cute? He’s finding himself dead in his tracks because he’s so in awe!

Calling him a pet name or giving him something? He’s on the verge of crying or completely flustered! He’s already thinking of ways to show you his thanks and what he could give you in return! There’s no such thing as giving Jason Voorhees a gift and not getting one back within a few days.

Literally doing anything that’s considered kind? His heart is melting and he’s at your mercy. He’s very attention/touch starved, so anything sweet you do is usually completely new for him.  

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

This is a big yes!!! Of course Jason loves to cuddle with you, it’s one of his favorite pastime activities. 

Typically, Jason would enjoy having you sit in his lap so he can wrap his arms around you and hold you there. 

When it comes to little-spoon and big-spoon cuddling, it’s up to what you want to be. He’s fine with being either and doesn’t necessarily have a preference. Anytime spent with you is cherished either way.

Evenings and nights are usually the times you both cuddle, as Jason spends his days walking around the camp, on search for any trespassers, and resetting traps and all the like. As much as he loves you, responsibilities come first. 

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

Jason dreams of not having to worry about teenagers, tourists, and just plain dumb people who didn’t listen to the warnings from the townspeople. He wishes to not have to kill and kill again just so he can spend all of his time with you! 

He just wants to help you, make your day easier by doing your chores, and then shower you with gifts and love. 

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

To say it easily, Jason gives a 20/10 when it comes to his relationship with you. 

You said you liked this thing? Even if it’s not easy to get, especially when he gets most of his things from campers, he’ll find a way to get it for you!

Feeling blue? He will bring you your favorite food, get a blanket, and bundle up with you. If you tell him what’s wrong, he’ll listen and try desperately to fix the problem. Just need comfort? He understands and has your back. 

Always thinking of you! This outfit that he stole from a camper fits your fashion sense, so he’ll definitely bring it home. 

You want to start a project? Okay! As long as it doesn’t involve you getting hurt or walking around on your own, he’s totally for it! He’ll try to get you everything you need.

He’ll listen and follow your command unless it’s against his wishes. Your happiness is his number one priority.

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

He’ll have to understand what you’re scared of to truly really know how to help.

Jason will remain calm to the best of his abilities and assure you in the only way he knows that you’re fine, he’s here for you. 

If you have a fear of anything scary like wolves and such, he’ll try to explain that there’s no need to be scared. He’s the scariest thing living in the woods and you’re brave enough to sleep by his side every night! But to make sure, he’ll take extra precautions and shoo away any unwanted animal visitors around the cabin.

If you’re scared of thunder, he’ll try to find something that he could play or get you to read a book with him to take your mind off of the storms outside. 

If your fear stems from trauma or memories, by god does he understand. He will try his best to avoid whatever stirs the reaction from you just as you stay clear from the dock at the lake. 

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Jason will give all kinds of things to you! Cool rocks he finds, the pretty flowers in his garden that remind him of you, stolen clothes that he thinks that might fit, and anything you’ve shown interest in!

Sometimes he’ll do grand gestures, such as building you a little tree house to stay in if you’re ever too cramped in the cabin. He’s ensured that it’s 100% safe and free from accidentally stepping in any bear traps.  

Jason will never ever expect anything in return. Giving you gifts is no trouble to him at all as your reaction and a ‘thank you’ is good enough for him.

But, if you’d insist on getting him a gift, expect this poor boy to be completely flustered. He’s definitely not used to getting stuff from other people. 

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

This is the most obvious yes I have to put here. Jason loves hugging you and will try to do so daily.  

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

At the beginning of your relationship, Jason will be extremely hesitant and cautious to do anything in fear of upsetting or scaring you away.

You would have had to initiate a lot of things at first to show it as a sign to him that it was okay! Yes, he can give you hugs and yes, he can hold your hand. 

Jason will try his best to be romantic based on what he knows. He’ll take you out to see the sunset, for example. 

A lot of things that he does he won’t see as romantic, such as giving you support whenever you need it and showing you a lot of affection, or y’know, leaving you gifts. 

When it comes to intimacy, Jason would be...very hesitant. He has a lot of self image issues, which is understandable, he was bullied for his looks. He doesn’t want you to have second thoughts if you saw him entirely, he doesn’t want you to leave..

He also doesn’t know much about being intimate. He sees teenagers have crude sex, but he doesn’t pay attention to what they’re really doing.

After driving over many small bumps in the road, Jason is yours to teach and make love with. 

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Jason really isn’t the type to get jealous...often. 

If he sees you talking or even walking with someone that is camping on his land, he’d be mad at the trespasser and be more worried for you instead.

The times he does get jealous, don’t expect him to really act on it besides an occasional pout and maybe be extra clingy.

Don’t get him wrong, though. He is extremely protective over you. 

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

Jason is an incredibly inexperienced kisser. In fact, you were probably his first kiss! 

Jason doesn’t like to take his mask off often unless asked to do so, so you’re getting the mock kisses he gives you. 

He tends to give you forehead kisses the most, no matter what the height difference is between you two. 

Don’t expect him to initiate actual kisses, he’s shy..

But his kisses are generally very...teeth-y. He doesn’t mean to nibble or bite, but he can’t help it sometimes. 

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

Jason can’t literally say it, he’s a mute, but damn him if he didn’t try to convey that he loves you all the time!

If you’re going to teach him American Sign Language, that’s the first thing he wants to learn! 

He loves showing you little acts of affection to let you know that he loves you. It’s the simple things of just sitting you in his lap and enjoying the moment for what it is. He doesn't need words to let you know that he loves you so much. 

So, essentially, he’s a puppy. Sitting at your feet and lapping at whatever attention you give him. 

You can tell you that this man would break the earth for you if you so much as asked. 

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?) 

It’s something that doesn’t cross his mind unless you show interest in wanting to get married.

But he’s totally up for it if you bring it up! It’s definitely something his mom would have wanted for him, or at the least, wanted to see. And, obviously, because he loves you. 

He’d love to hold the ceremony outside/out in the woods! He’s such a sucker for nature, it would be a crime to not have nature included in some way. 

Sadly, it wouldn’t be an official marriage, but it’s definitely the thought that counts here. 

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?) 

Jason just absolutely adores taking you out to see the sunset or sunrise. There’s something so beautiful about it that he just wants to share the view with you by his side. 

He also prefers little nature walks in the forest, teaching you the paths that are safe to walk and point out where the traps were. View the wildlife, befriend them maybe. Jason was a natural when it came that, he did have a bit of that disney princess inside him after all. 

Honestly, if you guys don’t have anything planned personally, he’ll take the time out of his day to take you out, sometimes even for dinner! Whatever you prefer, really. 

O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?) 

For as often as I write about it, Jason does not take off his mask and clothes very often. He is much too self conscious and has to be assured that he has no reason to be ashamed. 

He’s typically just happy with the little kisses he gets on his mask, and he’s never been one to care much about sex, so taking off his clothes hasn’t been that much of an issue. Unless forced to get him to wash up or clean his clothes, of course. 

P = Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?) 

Usually, Jason is very straight forward in his relationship with you. And usually the one being playfully teased.

But every now and then, he’ll definitely play up the killer act to give a little spook to you if he’s in the mood. 

Or give very playful eyerolls or head tilts to silly questions, but maybe that’s about it. 

And...maybe, if his darling S/O (that’s you!) doesn’t listen to his set rules for an amount of time, he’ll set up a playful punishment. 

Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?) 

Jason is very old fashioned and was born in a time where there wasn’t a lot of technology, so of course he has questions and wants to know what you think about stuff!

I’m sure something as simple as you pulling your phone out to take a selfie with him is enough to make him tilt his head and point a finger at the cellular device, as if to say what’s that? and so on. 

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?) 

It’s not really spontaneous to expect Jason to do something special maybe once a week after the day is over. 

He’s a busy man! He has a camp to watch over and take care of, and his mother’s memory to keep up. He has many little chores to do and can’t really make room out of his schedule, especially when it’s summer. 

But in seasons like Winter, he will devote his time to you and plan many dates. Typically, though, you usually don’t know about them until he carries on with what he wants to do, so his relationship with them can be spontaneous, but also expecting. 

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Jason has no need to sleep while he’s out and about. The only time he really does is when he goes into hibernation mode if his body desperately needs to regenerate/heal. 

So, while you two share a bed, he does not sleep. Instead, he spends the night cuddling with you and watches you. 

Don’t expect him to stay long in the morning, though. He is completely restless and needs to get out and about on his morning routine. He can only handle laying down for a certain amount of time.  A perfect killer can’t get tired, after all. 

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?) 

Oh, jeez, if you can somehow capture the Killer of Camp Blood as your boyfriend, he has put his 100% trust into you to show this sweet side of his. 

I mean, the townspeople don’t call him Killer of Camp Blood for nothing. He’s a murderer with a messed up and heartbreaking backstory. 

To date you, he has full trust that you won’t tell the police where he resides. To let you in on the truths of his legend, to see how vulnerable he really is, and just let that inner puppy of his to shine. 

So, all he asks is that you don’t break his trust, be honest, and love him back. 

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?) 

Big slasher boyfriend who could probably lift 4x your weight with ease. 

Jason is also basically an undead zombie roaming around a really old camp that resides in the woods and is a momma’s boy!

He’s a good listener, very respectful of what you want, and will treat you like royalty just because! 

Everything about this giant guy is unique!

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?) 

It will...take a lot of time for Jason to even become close with you.

It will more than likely take months for him to finally trust you to not judge him, and then he will maybe open up. 

Essentially, someone could assume as an outsider, that Jason being soft and sweet is the exact definition of vulnerable for a killer. And they wouldn’t be wrong. 

To allow himself to be, well, himself! Not have to be scary and brutal, to be allowed to have a break and just confide in you. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice) 

Jason knows how to sew! 

He usually makes clothes for himself when he needs to get new ones. And seeing as he’s monster size, he can’t usually come across clothes that naturally fit. 

But, as a gift, he will start to learn how to sew hats and other types of clothes that you show interest in! He definitely wants to make you things and see your reaction! 

It’s probably a once in the blue moon thing as Jason doesn’t take much pleasure in sewing (his fingers are much too big to get much done), but he knows its worth it if you enjoy the present! 

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?) 

Panic. 

Maybe panic a bit more, but then he’ll search the area to see what caused the injury. Some asshole campers? They’re dead in a heartbeat. Tripped or got cut against a corner? He’s baby-proofing everything possible. The last thing he wants to see is his S/O hurt. 

He will then try to locate where the injury is and take care of it to the best of his abilities. He naturally regenerates when he’s hurt, so he’s not the best educated on this topic. Of course, with each little injury comes a mock kiss and bandaid. 

If he can’t do anything to help with a first aid kit, he will have to take a bite off his ego and pride and sneakily bring his S/O to the closest house so the owners can take them to a hospital. He can only hope for the best then. 

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?) 

It’s not so much as anything he finds yuck, but maybe upsetting. He hates seeing you leave the cabin without him. It's an awful habit he dislikes because you’re risking yourself getting hurt! He has bear traps about everywhere in and around the camp, and you could even run into intruders! Much too dangerous and risky.

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

Jason is very passionate when he wants to be! He definitely craves the attention and is definitely willing to give it back! 

So, this is probably the second biggest yes I’d have to put in here! Treat this pup right, he definitely deserves the love (:

#jason voorhees #friday the 13th #jason voorhees x reader #jason voorhees imagines #slashers x reader #slasher x reader #slashers fandom #slasher #slashers #sfw alphabet #narrator's writing #500+ #1000+ #1500+ #2000+ #2500+ #3000+

[things2mustdo]

I live in America, and I am happily married, with kids. I do not write this because I am more manly, or intelligent, or successful than you; I am not. I write this to share the main key to my success: patriarchal, traditional religion.

I am writing from my own religious convictions, which I believe are true. You are free to disagree, but you may still find value here. I have read the writings of other religions, and consider them “True Myths,” useful for their wisdom, even though I may disagree with their theology. Neomasculinity itself is a philosophy that can be accepted by people of different religions, or no religion.

Modern Religion

Modern religion is a feminized wasteland. God exists to impose obligations on men, and excuses women’s evil acts. Faith is blind, irrational, and collectivist.

Men hate modern religion, which is why most churches in the West are demographically imbalanced toward women. Men are bored to death with touchy-feely sermons, endless committee meetings, female gossip, and the losers sitting in the pews around them. This is not how it should be.

Patriarchal Religion

Patriarchal religion is interesting to men. It teaches that God is a man, creator of rationality, slayer of evil men, protector of the innocent:

Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. (Psalm 144:1)

In male-led churches, women are taught to be respectful to their fathers, husbands, and legitimate authority. They understand that their role is to raise and care for children, and support their husband’s mission:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)

In patriarchal religion, female sins, like rebellion, envy, dishonesty, hypergamy, dressing and acting like a whore, and “hamstering” or rationalizing sin are condemned:

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. (Genesis 3:6)

I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. (1 Timothy 2:14)”

This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’ (Proverbs 30:20)

Finding A Virtuous Woman

All women are tempted towards sins like envy, but not all women act on their impulses. In spite of what many observe in the West, I have met many virtuous women: few sexual partners before marriage, respectful, submissive to their husbands, physically fit, feminine, good mothers. Most are in the older generations, especially before the Boomers. Most are involved in traditional religion. There are fewer younger women who are virtuous, and every single one that I have met is involved in traditional religion. They tend to be more rural, from small churches.

Traditional religion can be extremely helpful to finding and vetting women. It provides a community with certain values that you want in a woman, and it provides reliable references for a person’s character. A woman who spent her younger years “out in the world” and came back at 29 be a “born-again-virgin” is a red flag, but a woman in her early 20s who teaches Sunday School and helps with the potluck dinners is far more likely to be wife material. The older women in the church will usually let you know if a woman is a whore.

Patriarchal Religion Helps Control Women’s Sinful Tendencies

Traditional religion acts as a curb (but not a cure) for women’s immoral, rebellious, destructive behavior. My wife goes to a women’s bible study group, where she often receives instruction from older religious women. This includes things like telling her to be submissive to me, lose weight and be healthy, not waste money, have cheerful sex on a regular basis, and to learn how to get some control over her emotions:

Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands. (Titus 2:3)

One of my wife’s friends once corrected her attitude toward sex, saying: “you need to view your body as a sheath for your husband’s sword.” She now routinely thanks me after we have sex. I am not a natural alpha, but I have little fear that my wife is going to suddenly cut off sex if I have a minor slip up.

Band Of Brothers

With this great power comes great responsibility. As a patriarch, I am commanded to lead my family, instructing my wife and kids on how to act properly, with genuine love for their well-being. I must be on top of my game, be physically fit, and think rationally when my wife is irrational. I attend a men’s Bible study, where we talk about leading as men. Every man in my group owns a gun, and we often go shooting together.

We encourage, support, teach, and correct each other. I have had sharp, intense, discussions with my pastor and men in my church about my own character and life decisions. Things are handled like men, discussed in the open, with real-talk (not rhetorical bullshit), and masculine love and concern for each other. This has aided me in thinking deeply about my life, and correcting bad decisions I have made.

Awhile back we helped another man who was on the verge of divorce. He was working 100 hours a week because he would not stand up to his employer, and had no energy to lead his family. We told him that the marriage counseling he was getting was bullshit (“talk about your feelings more!”), and that his slavish attitude toward his employer was making his wife lose respect for him. The women in our church also talked to his wife about choosing to be respectful and submissive, in spite of her rebellious emotions.

He cut back hours at work, which enabled him able to be captain of his ship again. This, along with training his wife received, helped her become more respectful. Now, his wife is less of a bitch, and they have sex several times a week. I doubt this would have happened without patriarchal religion.

Children

We see that our culture is toxic, feminized, and immoral. Men need a place to raise children apart from these toxins, and church is a great place to do this. My kids go to Sunday School classes where they are taught to be respectful to me, my wife, and legitimate adult authorities. We have several families with well-disciplined children that we can trust won’t corrupt our kids. My wife often takes the kids for play-dates so she can socialize with wholesome women, which is a great alternative to sitting around on social media all day.

Conclusion

Patriarchal, traditional religion will not change female nature, but it can help restrain it. This is how past generations maintained civilization. I can confidently say that traditional religion is the main reason I can maintain a happy marriage in this cesspool of a culture. Those who are not religious might consider other institutions that may provide similar support for their marriage and child-raising.

Read More: This Accidental Experiment Shows The Superiority Of Patriarchy

[dropsofletters]

둥둥

title: 둥둥 pairing: kang seungyoon/reader genre: tour guide!au/tourist!au/language barrier!au summary: when there are barriers along the way of falling in love with someone, it is usual to give up. only that when it comes to the tour guide at the hotel she is staying at in busan, she is willing to float through the air to get over the rocks on their road. some things are just not meant to be, but maybe they are. type: angst/fluff

The world works in magical ways. Or so does most fairytales try to teach us through life, but it is a nice little touch to leave all anger against pretentious society aside and see the good with its bad. With her head pressed against the window of the cab she is in, she feels the ache of her eyes as the reminder that she really needs this break. Away from her usual bustling life as the head of a small team of idiots that has to send reports to the boss of the boss of the endless amount of bosses that come from a company. Busan prettily waited for her for three years—the amount of time it had taken her to finally get the guts to go out of her town without feeling guilty of doing so—, and it is as beautiful as she ever imagined it. Bright in colors, beachy in tones, inviting for families and new couples that want to start the honeymoon phase of their marriage right. On the other hand, she is alone…and enjoying the sound of nothingness for once.

She had gotten used to the minimalistic apartments, the messes made out of stacked papers and signed contracts, so when she had looked online for the plentiful of choices of hotels to go to, she had settled for the one that looked the most different from her home. Near the beach, that is the first thing that caught her attention, but also big enough for her to feel like she is on vacation. When she gets out of the car, she realizes just why the prize was so high—gray and tall walls covered in immaculate glassed windows, lights and fountains right in front of it, people that joined in groups to go to uniform-cladded tour guides with summer-like hats on their heads.

It is totally what she wants, or wanted, to forget about the terrible three years of non-deep slumber and timelines.

When she steps inside, surprised by the squeaky clean floors and high-end decorations, she finally lets out a sigh of relief. Now, she could finally sleep. The problem comes when she gets to the receptionist’s counter, tapping her fingertips against the bell on the surface only to be welcomed by fast-paced foreign words that she couldn’t understand. Then, she cusses herself for going to a country and not even trying to learn the most basic of stuff to talk to people. The receptionist, adorable and tiny, with her bangs pulled forward but the rest of her hair pushed back by hairclips, frowns deeply when she doesn’t get a response and then, she speaks once again.

“Ah…I don’t speak Korean.” She says, motioning with her hands widely to indicate what she wants to say. The receptionist, whose name she can’t even read because the nametag is in another language, seems to understand what she has just said and there is a little bit of hope within her that she switches languages and she can get to her room, safe and sound and ready to sleep. “I ordered the room…ah…520? That’s my room.” Although, her words seem to go through one of the receptionist’s ears and then, to the other.

The receptionist, intelligent as ever, picks up a pen and a sheet of paper before tapping her red fingernail against it. “Write number, please.”

“Room number?” She asks, widening her eyes when the receptionist nods her head and she jots down the number quickly. Her fingers push the piece of paper back to the receptionist’s hands, watching as the woman cutely takes the paper in between her two hands before smiling.

“Yes, yes. Your room is here.” She returns the grin towards the young-looking woman, hearing the sound of her fingers typing down on the keyboard before she releases a hum. She points to something, saying a word that is supposed to mean key with how she is pointing towards the key that is being given to her. She whispers the word back, afraid of saying it out loud for the sake of saving her own embarrassment, but a sharp nod is given thanks to the receptionist. “Have a nice day!” Much more confident with her words, the receptionist waves and she does the same thing, trying not to linger on the worry that settles within her thanks to the language barrier.

What she does is take her key, get on that elevator and go to her room, hoping to get the best night of sleep of her entire life.

💛

One would think that sitting on a chair while looking at the beachy waves hitting one another, with a novel on one hand and a drink on the other would get boring after a few hours, but a person of routine would love such a vacation, with ticking clocks lost in the depths of the sea and timelines lost into the verge of sun and moon as ways of indicating what time it is. It had never felt so good to be useless, and she adores the fact that she has nothing to do more than enjoy her vacation, crossing one leg over the other with simplicity to calm down her entire being. It had never felt like this, the weight off her shoulders in the purse she left back at her apartment, a few flights away from her, too far away to take it with her like a sense of worry that drags her down. Life suddenly feels like it is back on track.

Sometime soon, it is going to end and she is going to be welcomed by the same four walls of her apartment, the nine to five job that she has kept for years tying her down to a limbo that judges whether it is passion that she feels for her job, or absolute hatred. In some occasions, her job feels more like a marriage—and she hasn’t saved money for divorce, leaving her with the excuse that she is going to learn how to love it, that comfort is always better than risking.

For one moment, she hasn’t risked anything. She has just let life be.

With one hand folding the book’s page at the corner to set it down on her chair, she decided that buying some mango ice-cream from the local seller at the beach sounded like a good idea. As she had been able to notice—it must have been written in the guide to the hotel that is over her bedside table, but she could not understand much of it—, there were a lot of little stores for tourists around the hotel and a touring guide that includes a trip around Busan, to watch, feel and touch a place with very interesting sights and history. In this case, she guessed by peeking out of her window that there was an ice-cream store somewhere around the beach, and that sometimes—when it was peak time for people to start being lazy but still crave food—some of the workers would walk around with sandy feet and an ice-filled box that held popsicles in all flavors, mainly fruity.

She pushed some of her money towards her hand, going over to the man in front of her. A lip that was trapped by a bullet-like piercing is the first thing she notices, paired with bleached blonde hair and a tattooed body. Immediately, when he sees her, he starts talking about something in a foreign language, that she knows is Korean. She scratches her head, realizing that she really needs to do something about actually learning a few words while she is there, so she doesn’t end up in trouble because of her lack of knowledge. “I—” She starts and he cuts his sentence short like a blade going through thin air when he realizes that she is not speaking the same language as him. For a moment or two, he looks severely lost. “I don’t…I don’t speak the language, sorry.” He bites down on his bottom lip as a response.

“Oh, okay…” It sounds strangely like someone who is understanding what she is actually saying, and it feels close to being able to communicate. “I don’t speak…English well.”

“That’s okay.” She swats her hand before pointing at the money on her hands. “A mango popsicle, please?”

“Ooh, Mango!” He says before taking one out and picking up the money from her hands. There is a brief moment of silence where she can only think about not eating the popsicle in front of a stranger, just in case it looked remotely weird, or awkward, or suggestive in any sort of way. Besides, he is working and he seems like he wants to say something else. He is full of expressions, like a mime that speaks in a very deep voice. “My…The hotel has…tour. Wanna come?”

The thought of going around Busan instead of just sitting by the beach sounds inviting, not for that day, but maybe for later. “I’m going tomorrow, probably.”

“Tomorrow?” His eyes widen comically and she nods her head. “I will wait for you.”

She smiles at the comment, nodding her head before bowing slightly. “Thank you.”

And with that, it is the farewell of another good worker that actually gave her a good service but a hard time with communicating. She sighs, pushing her phone away from her purse to look at it and search for some words to learn. It is the least she can do when she is vacationing in such place. The bad part? She can’t understand a single sentence.

How exactly did she pick Busan?!

💛

There are people that are destined to bloom, to shine, to live through storms when standing in a hurricane, and those people could easily be identified by a single glance. She guessed, while holding onto her beach purse and spreading sunscreen over her arms with thick layers of cream that the tour guide in front of her was one of those people.

The shadow casted by the hat over his head is not enough to cover the brightness of the row of teeth behind his plump lips—not only his teeth, but the smile he gives to the tourists as he greets them with a bow, hands interlocked behind his back to show his respectfulness. The wind-cladded atmosphere moved his hair slightly under the hat, black strands of hair touching his eyes slightly, although he does not flinch. To dream of him was almost impossible, for he seemed like an angel when standing near the colors of the blue sky, covered in beige clothing and an insufferable aura that seeps through him like the trap to catch an animal when in survival. He is the type of person that pulls people closer with just his presence, along with the generic class of people that she has always been, at the very least, slightly jealous of.

She clears her throat when she feels the tour guide’s stare falling upon her, looking over to the side to stare at the candy-like clouds, the beachy tones of the sand and even the old people that pass around the beach with ice cream on their hands, licking at the substance to battle the heat.

Speaking of, the man that had asked her to go to the touring guide is nowhere in sight. Perhaps, he is working—and she doesn’t even know his name to ask the staff about his whereabouts. After all, he is one of the few people that has actually understood her, or tried to…though his confusion was not palpable through his words when talking to her.

One day, the world suddenly stops being against you. One day, if you wait long enough, the world finally takes the stick that is up their ass and talks to you with a tender voice, no longer fighting the need to make you happy. That is what she has heard, and while she had a hard time believing it for three quarters of her life, it is a sign of there being brightness behind every shadow. Busan promises to give her that: the meaning of happiness, or the importance of seeking for it—whether it seems impossible, it doesn’t matter. Sometime in her life, the world is going to drop a smile on her face and it is not going to be permanent, but like Hell it is going to feel like it.

The first lesson life gives in Busan is: believe that someday, you’re going to be happy.

And it comes with a tap on her shoulder and the sight of a very lanky and tall guy in front of her. The tour guide that she had been checking out previously is now in front of her, his skin clearer than the skies that morning. She wants to say something, but she is scared of the language barrier that had made itself very palpable during the days she has been staying there.

He seems to want to kick the wall between the two; the barrier that goes past language but one that comes with being strangers. “Hello. You’re the foreigner, right?” The accent on his voice is thick, like the icing on a strawberry cake. She raises her eyebrows, surprised by the nickname that fully engulfs what she is at that moment—a foreigner, lost in her own world and totally unaware of the words that are told to her, unless they are in English. She would think that by this time of the year, there would be more foreigners like her, but the ones that she has gotten to see at least had the decency to learn some words to live by during their vacation time. She, on the other hand, is obviously unprepared.

What to do in a situation like this? Normally, she is not a stranger to talking to people she finds attractive—the more she grew, the less she cared about taking the chance, but she feels strangely shy. His smile is beaming, that is the start of her nervousness, but the way he speaks could only be compared to bonfire snacks and songs that are shared with your friends through screamed lyrics and hushed laughs. Candid and warm, like the beach around them and the golden of his skin-tone, it was difficult to ignore him, or not be the slightest bit of scared around him. Not of him, of the situation. “I am.” She chuckles, because it seems like the most lightweight option to make at that time. “I guess the staff at the hotel have been talking about me…”

“Minho told me about you.” The cuteness of his voice, perhaps not innocent but overall sweet, is enough to feel like the popsicle that is her heart melting. There are little connection lines in people’s brains; like how she remembers that one kid that put bubblegum on her hair when she was a kid, or how whenever she is running on the streets she remembers to look up, as well, just in case she collides against a telephone. The connection that she misses is the name Minho.

“I don’t know this Minho guy…”

“You don’t know?”

Her train of thought goes a million miles per hour, and she tries to think of the amount of people she has met in Busan. That one guy she met at the hotel’s bar that casually spoke English and told her all about his trips around the world, even going as far as telling her about his life in his hometown—Gangnam. His name is not Minho, though, not that she knows of. There are plenty of males that she has met—like the guy that brings her breakfast every morning, but his name is Jinwoo and he is too sweet for this world, never saying more than ‘hi’ and ‘hello’. And then, in between the seas of people that she does know the name of, there is the ice-cream guy, the one that had invited her to that touring guide in the first place. “Oh, the ice cream guy!”

“Yes, ice cream.” She can tell that he is shy about speaking, as if his accent suddenly makes his confidence falter the slightest and with a broken tone and a finger pointed her way, he asks: “English only?”

She wishes, oh lord, she hopes that someone from the skies sends her a thunder that hits her and suddenly, she could speak his language like it is her first, because it had never been a priority of hers…but seeing such a shy look on his face already had her wondering about the personality that this man might have. Something within her tells her that he is a soul that is too good to get to know. “English only.”

He nods his head, extending his hand for her to take as a greeting. “I am Seungyoon Kang.” He says and she takes his hand, repeating his name and the sound of her voice alone is enough to have a smile spreading across his face.  She tells him her name and Seungyoon seems pleasantly surprised with himself, as if he has found gold in the middle of nowhere, the poorest place that he has ever been to. “Are you ready?”

While mocking his thumbs-up motion, she replies with a small ‘yes’ and Seungyoon is gone quicker than he ever approached her, getting ready for his explanation in the tour that he is planning to give that eventful morning.

It would be a lie if she said she is actually concentrated.

Or she actually does concentrate for a bit, but on the way he talks and how Seungyoon seems to be talking about something that excites him. She is intrigued of what he could be saying or what he wants to portray to the other seas of tourists that seem to understand what he is gushing about. She notices the length of his body, the way he carries himself so nicely—like he is a walking piece of art. She can imagine with a voice as melodious as his, any song would fit him well, and inside her head, she cusses at herself for not being able to communicate with him to the extent she wants to. All she knows is that Minho, the ice-cream seller, had talked about her to him and that must mean something.

It probably means that he is trying to play matchmaker and sure, Seungyoon is a complete stranger, but she has never had one of those brief, gasp-filled brief loves that mean the entirety of someone’s life for some people. One-night stands, some call them, but she is not feeling particularly fond of the idea. Kissing him? Oh, that would definitely be an excellent way to pass time, but there are things that come before a kiss—

Like communication. Speaking bits and pieces of the same language to get to know each other, build the compatibility, lead on to the tension until the kiss happens and if two people connect, that kiss turns out to be better than most.

Seungyoon looks at her by the end of the tour, when people were gathering to take pictures and getting ready to go back to where they started, but in the brief five minutes that he has for himself, he decides to approach her. His hands are nestled inside his pockets, hair fixed by the hat on top of it and his lips quirk up in a shy smile before he looks down once again, at his feet to be exact. He doesn’t remember most of the English classes he had in high school or those stupid lines that he used to pick up from shows he watched when he imitated them. Maybe, it is the fact that flirting is easier when there is not a language barrier or he is too scared of making a fool of himself. “You like…the tour?” He asks, rolling his eyes at himself internally for sounding so unsure. She notices that he is talking to her, fixing the bag over her shoulder before nodding her head.

“Yes! Of course!” Seungyoon smiles at that, feeling accomplished of reaching someone through the language barrier. Only that his fantasy, of course, is broken when she adds. “I didn’t understand much…though…or anything.”

“Excuse me?” He asks, raising an eyebrow and getting closer to her to listen to what she has to say. She breathes out softly, shy of being in a situation like this with a man that she would have already given an earful to if only they spoke the same language fluidly.

“I didn’t understand what you were saying.”

“Oh.” He mumbles before pulling away. He takes his phone out of his pocket, writing something down on the device before he pressed a button. A few seconds passed by before she heard the robotic voice of the translator. “I am so sorry.” The translator reads, making a pause that has a grin spreading across her face. “I would love to be able to give you a tour in English, but I don’t remember what I learned in high school, hah.”

The robotic laughter made her chuckle, taking her own phone out and searching for the translating app with her data before she typed down her own set of words, repeated to him in a Korean voice that she could not quite understand: “Your English is fine! I am sorry I don’t speak your language, either. I will try to learn some things for you.”

Seungyoon lifted his eyebrows at that, writing down on his phone before the voice on it spoke: “For me?”

The tip of her ears felt like they had been fried or cooked when she wrote down her answer. “Yes, you seem like you would be interesting to talk to.”

The sound of someone calling Seungyoon over for a question makes him stop typing, looking around before lifting his hand to indicate the other person to wait. He realizes by then that they don’t have much more time to talk to one another through the phone and with a nod of his head, he says something that he has a lot of confidence about. “You are nice, too.”

And there is something about his soft tone when speaking in English or just the way he smiles at her that tells her that she is not wrong. Seungyoon would be a pleasure to talk to.

💛

“Tiff, listen—” She sighed deeply, tossing around on her hotel bed to look up at the ceiling of her room. The delicate shades of creamy white faded together as her sky inside four walls, not equally as beautiful as the sight she has outside her window, but she can’t bring herself to care. She is in Busan, watching a news show in English—the only one that she could find through the seas of dramas and movies— and trying her hardest to voice out her concerns to her friend. After all, most of her friends don’t have the issue that she has had. Heck, Tiffany had been married for years and it only took her a week to get a stranger (now husband) to be her boyfriend. “He knows basic English, sure, but it’s so frustrating because I want to flirt and kind of twist my words around and we have to communicate through a translator…and the worst part is that it has been an entire day and all I can do is look at his fine ass from my beach chair.”

Tiffany snorts at her remark. “Honey, at least you are in a beach chair with a fine ass man. I am here, bloated, eating avocados with whipped cream because this pregnancy of mine is nonsensical.” The woman complained, forking bits of salad from her side of the world. She is having lunch at that moment and her friend had called her, bothered and angered, but much more frustrated, at an unknown hour of the night to rant about how weak she felt for not being able to talk to Seungyoon. “But either way…I am sure that talking through a translator shouldn’t be a problem. It makes it even more romantic, knowing that you two are making an effort, you know?”

“I guess.” Surely, it seemed childish—to be clinging to the idea of talking to a person, but she could not stop her own interest. Withered were all the embarrassment she felt, now looking for a way to see Seungyoon once again. He was always working, wearing that same hat that covered his hair and using big hand motions to indicate the rules of how they were going to act during the tour, and all she has gotten is a smile from afar, nothing more and nothing less. “But god…” Her fingers reach for her face, hands covering her eyes out of being flustered. “You should look at him. He’s…He’s got the plumpest lips and just the nicest voice ever and I am sure body language wouldn’t be able to express what I want to say.”

Fluttering butterflies be damned, she thinks, but whatever he makes her feel is equally as satisfying and nerve-wracking at the same time. All she wants is to be able to share a cup of coffee with him and talking about their interests, if that voice of his is really for singing or he is just blessed with an intelligent-sounding voice. Tiffany, however, takes her out of her fantasy just as fast. “Wow, you must really want to jump his bones. That’s new from you.”

Her hands trail down her cheeks, a soft groan leaving her lips at the mere thought of her friend finding a man that actually makes her interested from the first moment they meet. That had never happened, much less with how busy she was with work the past few years. “Hey, don’t say those things! I am just trying to get to know him.”

“…Sure, know him on a personal level. I was there, babe, and I ended up getting married.”

“Why do I even call you? Just because you’re the married friend and that means you know more about love?” She jokes before standing up from the bed, turning off the TV and extending her arms over her head. “I’m going to pee. You don’t mind staying in line?” Tiffany briefly mumbles something along the lines of not caring and their years of friendship when she hears the sound of someone knocking on her door. “Oh shit, someone’s knocking on my door.”

The line falls silent for a moment, a pin could drop to the floor and she would listen, and the knocking grows a bit louder this time. “Wait, wait. Are you expecting lover-boy in your hotel room?”

“No.”

“Then see who it is. Be careful. You don’t know if it’s some creep or something.”

“Okay, alright. Stay on line.” She says, walking towards the entrance door with careful steps, the tip of her fingers touching the cold marble at the flooring before she peeked through the peephole, seeing one of the members of the staff that constantly roams around the hotel serving everyone. She doesn’t know his name, much less does she get to talk to him, but his facial features are to be envied. Round eyes with glistening specks of sunshine imprinted in them, lips rosy and perked as if giving a kiss, a smile engraved on his face like the name she can’t even read on his nametag. Great. Fine. Excellent. “It’s a member of the staff. Hold on.” She notices that he is hiding something behind his back when she opens the door, greeting him with a faint murmur of one of the few words that she had learned: hello.

The worker, whom she didn’t know was called Jinwoo, widens his eyes and replies something in Korean, making her sigh deeply. “Sorry, I’ll call you later Tiff.” She hangs up her phone before pointing at the two. “…I don’t speak Korean.”

She is starting to get tired of having to tell that to everyone, but at the same time, it is entirely her fault. Maybe, instead of spending her time in delicious treats around the beach, she should go buy a textbook and just study whatever she can get inside her head. “Oh, okay.” Jinwoo says before he bites down on his bottom lip. His eyes seem lost, albeit his smile is still there, and when he takes one big breath, she thinks he is going to tell her something important—and he does, just in a single word. “Seungyoon.” He indicates after pointing to the flowers that appear from behind his back. Red roses with a note tied to them, enough to make her heart flutter like she said it wouldn’t. Furthermore, the idea of flowers and chocolates is dead in the world against romanticism that everyone lives in today, and while she would have loved to be the one to give the first step and give him some flowers, she still feels touched.

“Oh, these are Seungyoon’s?” She asks and the worker nods his head. Her fingers run down the doorframe, smiling down at the bouquet of flowers given to her. To her! She knew that there was some kind of connection in between the two, but the thought of Seungyoon having to ask someone else to deliver the flowers is exhilarating. Maybe, embarrassment took over him, walking back and forth, back and forth, in hopes of getting a strike of confidence and yet—a worker of the hotel is there in his representation. “Okay, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” The man adds cutely before bowing, turning his back and making a bee-line to the elevator. Once the man is out of her view and she can close the door, she ponders on calling Tiffany again just to tell her the news, but before she could do such thing, she had to see what the note said.

Painted in a sweet shade of gold, three pieces of paper are tied to the sides of the bouquet, all in different spots. With delicate motions and excitement bubbling like tea in a kettle, she turns around the note to see his handwriting in English, a little bit messy and yet enough to make her smile broadly. “I think you’re very pretty!” That one is shallow, but at least she knows that he finds her attractive. That much she could already guess, but the moment she turns around the other card, he makes up for his expected comment:

“I’m going to learn English just to talk to you, haha!”

And finally, he wrote down: “I hope we talk soon!”

Whether it is the fact that she has not had someone doing something as romantic as that for her in a long time or it’s because it is Seungyoon, the tour-guide guy that she hasn’t been able to get out of her head, she doesn’t know what is the cause of her sudden outburst, but she promises that she is going to go to his tour once again just to ask him out on a date. Body language or not, all she needs to do is share a cup of coffee with him with the view of Busan basking the two in endless interest.

Only that it isn’t as easy.

Language is not a concept like love, not even remotely close to it, it’s the communication center that everyone has and to be able to connect with someone, whether in a friendship matter or a heavier subject, there needed to be words exchanged. In the time that she has been single, she has opted to look at the couples around her instead of getting someone of her own—and she comes to realize that she has never really liked the thought of possibilities. She wants, strangely enough, a love that is enough to battle for, or a relationship that she could be glad for even if it ends because she tried her hardest. The stand-point of this theory is her endlessly story of picking men that aren’t supposed to be hers: that one intern from her office in her first year that ended up moving to another country and breaking up what hadn’t even started, or that one man that she met when she was young and stupid and she never really talked to, leaving her to years of solitude waiting for him only to have him dating someone else. Communication has always been an issue for her, don’t get her wrong, but now it has heightened a hundred times.

It is not that Seungyoon is a bad man or that they are not compatible, it’s just that she is not able to telling with the few conversations that they have had. He seems happy to have her in his tour once again, although earlier than most, only accompanied by a couple of old men that seemed to be heavily in love. For the first time, he takes off his hat, going over to where she is standing to place it over her head and keep her safe from the rays of sunshine. He smiles, the apples of his cheeks turning a crimson red at the mere thought that maybe, and just maybe, she is there because of the flowers.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Seungyoon replies and then, he bites down on his bottom lip. She rubs her hands together, watching his face for a few seconds before speaking up.

“I got the flowers you sent to me.” She tells him and Seungyoon parts his lips, immediately laughing at his own antics because he is not the most romantic of people, but he is trying just because of her. He had revised over the sentences he wrote over and over again, afraid of typos or of grammar structure, something that hadn’t happened to him in the past. She takes out her phone, writing down a message just for him to listen to. “You’re very sweet. I really loved what you wrote for me. I think all those things about you, too.”

And Seungyoon widens his eyes, captured by the fact that he wasn’t actually dreaming about the foreign girl thinking of him that way. He tries to come up with a sentence of his own. “Really?”

“I do.” She replies and then, she touches the hat that is over her head to keep it in place. “I was thinking we could get some coffee, just to get to know each other.”

“You and me having coffee?” Seungyoon asks and she is glad that she can talk to him in such a way. The man gets his phone out, probably trying to say something a little bit more complicated to her. “The hotel is hosting a party in two days for its anniversary. We could go together. It’s at the hotel’s bar at eight.”

“Yes.” She replies and just like always, someone calls for Seungyoon and this time, it is one of the members of the staff. If she doesn’t recall wrongly, it is one of the few people that she has met in that hotel that can speak English. Rosé, Rose…something like that was her name.

“Okay. See you.” Seungyoon says and she nods her head and just to add something there, to demonstrate his vocabulary in English, he lifts a thumb up in the air before adding: “It’s lit.”

She laughs loudly, shaking her head as she gives him his hat back and with a hand pressed to her eyes, she repeats the sentence. God, how could he be so charming?!

💛

Time doesn’t always move in her favor, but there are moments in life that are just right. Her body weight leans against the sink in the bathroom, looking closely at her eyelashes as she coats them in mascara, over and over again with delicate movements not to poke her eye. The air conditioner of the hotel room caresses her legs softly, her romper riding up the back of her thighs thanks to the position. She wonders if she should bring a coat with herself, considering that she has rarely gone out at night in the week that she has been staying at that hotel, and while she continuously checks the weather app to see how could it is going to be, she is still in the verge of choosing. It comes with the nervousness of the pass Seungyoon had given her to enter the party and most likely, with the fact that she wants to look great. Dashing with a sprinkle of ‘this is the best I can get’, but also with that naturally beaming glow that some more liquid foundations can achieve.

Not that she brought any special jacket or coat with her, because it is summer in Busan that she had thought about when buying her tickets. As she looks through her suitcase, she can only find some denim jacket that she used the first day there. She ponders on it, if a flowery romper would even look good with a denim jacket, but too cold to care, she puts it on. The next worry is if she should go out by now or if she should wait a little bit more, just wait until it gets a little bit later and then, she can get to the bar, but she receives a message only three minutes into her stare-off with the door, being welcomed by the sight of Seungyoon’s name.

Thankfully, she had gotten his number in the tour she attended to. Or well…the second one.

“I am at the party.” He wrote with a smiley face at the end. Almost, she can picture the smile on his face, with cheeks full of happiness and touches of blushed pink. His smile rejoices the world and she can’t wait to see him again, picking up her purse as she types down that she is on her way.

Call it egotistic of her part, to want to meet someone during vacation instead of at her local city, but it brings her a sense of tranquility to be able to talk to someone like Seungyoon. The excitement in there, bubbling in champagne flutes by the time she passes by the door. The open atmosphere of the hotel’s bar is surrounded by palm trees, tropical music and a nice smell of vegetables in the air, cooked to utmost perfection, and from the moment she passes by, someone gives her a flute of alcohol. It is a worker, apparently, but she doesn’t recognize them. She smells the content of the glass, scrunching up her nose at the expensive yet strong smell. The thought of getting drunk makes her leave the alcoholic drink on top of a counter, walking over to the man that lifts his hand up from the moment he sees her and Kang Seungyoon is, quite clearly, a dream come true.

Not the typical bad boy dream, of course, she is much too old to be dreaming about men in leather jackets with cocky lines and overly boosted egos. Dressed in a burgundy hoodie that falls off one shoulder, an oversized yet thin white t-shirt and ripped jeans, Seungyoon’s black hair is made a mess by his other hand that rakes through it and of course, the smile she had been thinking about is clearly displayed. The counter in front of him is empty, although there are a lot of people by his side, drinking and chatting the night away, but he keeps one of his legs on top of the seat next to him, probably saving it for her.

She beams at him, taking the seat beside him from the moment he puts down his leg and she talks a little bit loudly over the music. “Hello!” She greets and Seungyoon replies with the same greeting, instead she decides to ask him something to initiate the conversation. “Did you wait for long?”

Seungyoon shakes his head, plush lips puckering up as his smile falls softly. “No.” He answers and then, he points at the bartender walking from one side to the other. “Do you want…soju? Ah…only soju?”

“I am not in the drinking mood.” That is her answer, followed by one leg crossing over the other and by the way Seungyoon looks at her, he seems to be happy with how she looks at the moment. “You look handsome.”

She swears that there is a ghost of a blush on his cheeks and he chuckles, throwing his head back momentarily and taking a sip of his own bottle of soju before nodding his head. “Thank you.” The apples of his cheeks would be nice to kiss in a moment like that, as if the concept of happiness consisted of a picture of his face right at that time. Seungyoon takes his phone out, plugging his earphones in before placing one inside his ear carefully, lending the other one to her and she takes it with a smile on her face. He types down before a reply comes soon after, a bit botched in grammar but she understands what he meant. “I studied English all night to be able to talk to you but I looked at you and now I forgot.” She laughs at his antics, taking his phone from him and switching the languages before both their ears are filled with the sound of the same voice.

“You’re so silly.” is what the robotic boy says first before she types down something more. “I have been wondering ever since I met you…do you sing?”

Seungyoon bites down on his bottom lip, taking his phone once again in their little rendezvous. “I sing if you like singers.”

The thought of his flirtatious tone through a machine makes her laugh, although those words may sound like heaven if he ever were to say them to her. “I’m more into guitarists.” Seungyoon responds quickly.

“Good thing I also play the guitar, ha!”

Smoothly is not exactly the way the conversation goes, but it is equally as pleasant. At some point, Seungyoon starts to tell her how he wishes he would have paid more attention to English classes in high school and that he really does play the guitar and sing. His love for rock music is presented in the matter of seconds and then, they share songs with one another, bodies clinging closely just to listen from the same set of earphones. They teach each other sentences in their languages, chuckling or cooing at the sound of their exciting voices and from one moment to the other, Seungyoon starts talking about his hometown. He says that Busan is one hell of a place to live, perfect for him like a ring to a finger, but that he also wants to travel the world and with that, comes a lot of ‘leaving-behind’ and choosing. He says that he tries not to think about it and she thinks the same.

The sound of slower music fills the air when they finally stand up from the chairs, going to the dance floor to share a dance with a singer that is supposedly called Rain playing in the background. Seungyoon’s eyes twinkle when he smiles at her, both of his hands placed over her waist and hers wrapped around his neck. His fingers tap the beat against her skin, her head leaning over to rest over his shoulders when she decides to speak, only for the two, only for a night, to say what she feels and not regret it soon after.

Be damned the days after. There was only a day and that was that night.

Her hands reach up to cup his jaw, bringing his gaze to rest upon hers, his eyes suddenly casting down to her lips, then her nose and finally her eyes. “What?” He questions, laughter following his statement before it died down to a gentle smile.

“You’re…I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy.” Seungyoon understands her, she can tell, by the way his eyebrows lift up at her statement. “But I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“About me?” His voice is sweet, his head tilted to the side.

“Yes.” She looks at his eyes once again, in hopes that he makes a move and the stare-off from her eyes to her lips has her taking the next step. Her body leans forward, her chest pressing against Seungyoon’s as she tests the waters, pressing her lips down onto his only to feel his soft breath ghosting over the skin of her cheeks. His hands tighten around her waist, then his arms wrap securely around her. Lips to lips, plump and melodious just like the sound of his voice, it lasts too little by the time he pulls away and as if they can speak through gazes, their fingers interlock and soon after, they are out of the party.

Seungyoon’s lips are inciting, enchanting. People get caught up in fairytales—in the perfect kiss with coordinated hand motions and passion that delves into sweetness, that they actually forget to enjoy the moment. The man before her is amused with giggles escaping his lips, breathing out before diving in for a kiss once again. The elevator is cold and she looks around for a few seconds in hopes of not having a camera anywhere around them. His fingers catch strands of her hair, pulling her closer to kiss her with a smile on his lips, as if adoration has coated his actions and he plans on exchanging them with her.

The blood on his veins is pumping, her atriums and ventricles working ten times harder with the situation. Her fingers feel numb as she opens the door to her room and when he gets inside, the first thing he does is continue kissing her. Somewhere in between their kisses, she hears him say words that she doesn’t know the meaning of, sometimes getting lost in his own train of thought. It feels like it moving too fast, like a one-night stand that she had wished for from the moment she saw him…

And then, she gets a good look in his eyes and she realizes that, even though she only has a few more days to be with him, she gets whiplash. Like a kettle that is lighting up with smoke after making coffee, she burned and burned, and the fire still ignited her, although she is afraid of what would happen next. Knowing herself, strings would get attached—like the red ones that appear in soulmate books, that have been idolized by the entire world, but she is afraid of it being cut off by someone else.

“Seungyoon—” She breathes out when she feels his hands gliding over the skin of her thighs, his movements stopping as he looks back up at her. “I…I don’t…I am not ready.”

Seungyoon seems to understand, his face going from confusion to understanding in the matter of seconds. She thinks that he is going to laugh at her, get angry, do something that any other asshole would have done, but Seungyoon nods his head, leaning forward and pressing a short kiss to her lips. “It’s okay.” He says in his language, something that she had heard time and time again from other people, but from him it sounds a thousand times heavier.

She bites down on her bottom lip, staring up at him under her lashes. “Really?”

“Really.” Seungyoon tells her and then, he fixes her disheveled hair, the fabric of her sleeves that had ridden down her arms and smooths the fabric of the edge of her shorts, making sure that she looks as if nothing had happened. “I can wait.”

That is all it took for her to know that he is as sweet as the sweet pancakes that she had tried on her first day in Busan. His lips are the comforting weight of a blanket when he says his goodbyes to her after talking for some more and she sighs to herself, wondering if there is anything better than a summer love affair.

Best part is that he feels the same for her.

💛

Roses, like the ones withering by the vase she put them in a few days ago, die after some time. It is expected for a story to have an ending—and if it doesn’t, it is highly criticized. Happy endings, sad endings, cliffhangers…surprise still overtakes over people when they realize that something they have treasured close to their hearts has to come to an end. How stupid had she been to believe that wouldn’t be her case, but now wrapped in blankets and watching dramas that she doesn’t understand anything of, she figures out that it was written in the stars for her little summer love affair to be forgotten. Twelve days of silent flirting, kisses in elevator rides and translations…

Have you ever thought of your love story? Everyone does at some point. Some think they will meet them in high school, others think it happens in college or at work. Some want it to be at a bar and some want it to be online, whatever is easier…but no one thinks that their love story is going to end in twelve days. It is not even love; it is the need of getting to know him. There is still a lot of fabric for them to play with when it comes to become acquainted to one another. Perhaps, a proper date, a waltz that is not rushed, a song that lasts more than just a minute. They did not deserve a song, they deserved at least a novella.

So she wraps herself in blankets, watches as many lovey-dovey, extremely romantic shows and expects that sometime along the way, a thunder strikes her with the confidence that she needs. Her plane ticket is seated on top of her suitcase by the entrance of the room, waiting for her to wake up the next morning and leave Busan. Still, she hasn’t had the guts to say her goodbyes to Seungyoon. He knows that this is her last night at the hotel and it seems like he has been too busy to actually do anything about it, so she waits until she can be able to leave the room and give him one goodbye kiss.

Well, at least she can say she tried.

Someone knocks on her door and part of her guesses who it is, making her straighten her back in fear, excitement or something in between. Her legs get tangled in the mess of blankets around her, getting out of the bed and standing as she looks at the door. Another knock and she is still in the same spot, dressed in the last pair of pajamas that she kept inside her luggage—not as pretty as it should be, but it worked. One sigh. Two. And finally, she opens the door, being welcomed by the sight of the man of the night, the man she expected to see since earlier in the morning and he looks like an absolute dream.

His fingers rake through his hair after he takes up his cap, showing her one of those smiles that she has gotten used to before he moves over to the side. She sees him carrying a bag filled with food and with the confidence that sometimes he lacked in his speaking skills, he says: “I bought us my favorite.”

Some people are just relax therapies, like scented candles and the soft sound of music and of course Seungyoon is just like that—one of a kind. With her legs crossed and her fingers reaching for the contents inside the plastic bag, already seated on their bed and talking through whatever translator that they use, Seungyoon seems to be contented, although not at ease. It is their brief ending, their ‘three dots’ that don’t really continue in anything. What mighty destiny and life is to break something apart, to have two people trying their hardest to communicate only to have them sharing twelve days with each other.

With his chopsticks poking at his last piece of chicken after having a long-lasting conversation about their favorite meals, she finally notices his change of expression. His lips are puckered up, coated in a little bit of grease and barbeque, cheeks puffy and eyes that denied the disappointment that will bring him looking into her eyes, even for the shortest of seconds. “What is it?” She questions, watching as Seungyoon shuts himself up by putting the last piece of chicken inside his mouth. He chews and chews, finally exchanging a glance with the woman as they sit across from each other. They never got to connect.

“I will miss you.” Seungyoon whispers and it is such a gut-wrenching feeling to have him saying those words, sweet accented and lovingly. She pushes her body forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and bringing him in for a hug, dismissing the words he said in another language. “I can’t believe you’re leaving this soon.”

“I don’t even know what you’re saying.” She says in between a chuckle, as if to stop herself from tearing up even the slightest bit. Once she pulls away, she looks into his brown eyes. “But I will miss you, too.”

Seungyoon holds his phone in between two fingers, swinging it in the air softly. He thinks of what to sya before he sings a song, one that she has heard thanks to him—Text Me by DPR Live. “Text me when you’re free—”

“Oh my God.” She chuckles before hitting his shoulder. “I’ll text you. I promise.”

“Me too.”

The comments sound too sweet to be real, like a ‘see you later’ instead of a ‘goodbye’.

💛

A thirty-minute long lunch break can mean something miniscule to people, but there is something about that time of resting and eating that has always meant a lot to her. Hence why she immediately stands up from her spot the moment her alarm-clock indicates the start of her break. She grabs her phone, ready to reply to the texts that she knows have been piling up in her inbox.

Two weeks after leaving Busan, her communication with Seungyoon has only heightened by the minute. One moment, she is pondering if she should text him and the other they are laughing through translated talks, failed attempts at each other’s language and a certain type of warmth that could only come with the initiation of a crush. The only problem is that if her boss catches her while being on the phone texting Seungyoon, she would lose all the hard work that she had put in her career and while Seungyoon is a heartthrob, no man is worth even a quarter of the passion that she feels for what she does…or the type of dedication that she wants to put in her work.

While looking through their conversation and typing down her answer about what she is doing and why she took so long to respond (since priorities are priorities, after all), she hears the sound of someone talking behind her, but she doesn’t pay much attention to it. There is not a type of person blinder than those who start a love affair, that dive deep in the seas of flirty-words, smiley faces and a lot of kisses. Not every story comes with heartbreak but in this era, it is difficult to believe that anything lasts forever. Recall the last couple you thought were going to last and they didn’t, or the people who seem to be together just because they want to spend time with another person. Physical touch, contact and everything in between, as well as social expectations, had given a new shape to relationships, one-night stands and whatever else could happen. The universal language of love is now blurred for everyone, begging to be understood, only to be met with the atrocious reality that there is no such thing as love nowadays.

But that is like running while racing a snail. She is thinking too ahead, too fast, a kiss means nothing more than a connection between two people that are attracted to one another, and while she loves talking to Seungyoon, she wants to leave whatever it is as a question mark. They are nothing more than a blank expression in a sentence. Like the section in TV shows that say: To be added.

Multitasking has been key for the last two weeks, because she need to think of what she is going to buy nearby that doesn’t take too long to get ready and that while answering Seungyoon, the time difference owning its name with the situation. She doesn’t realize that it has become a routine until she hears the faint sound of someone calling her over and over again, then it gets louder but she still doesn’t pay attention. A smile is plastered on her face when she hears the sound of one of her coworkers saying: “Hey, pay attention to me or I’m going to down my entire water bottle on you.” That is enough of a sentence to make her look up from her phone, deciding that enough is enough with fast food and she should really have a salad for a change.

The person talking to her, Joe, some sushi enthusiast with a little too much time on his hands thanks to his procrastination skills is someone that she has actually grown to like. Sure, the man watches videos on YouTube almost throughout his entire shift, but he does get things done at the end of the day…or the week…or a day before it’s due. While he is quite the personality, he was the one in charge during her break and they are not the closest of friends, but she would thank him endlessly for that. “Ah, uh? What did you just say?”

Joe sighs, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me.” He says before a smile broke through his face. “You and Tiffany are like one of those movies for teenagers made by old ass people who show two girls that get pregnant since they have a promise of having their babies together so you are looking for someone to—”

“Wait. No. The fuck?!”

“I have been telling you that I finished last week’s project since five minutes ago but you’re out here lost in your phone, smiling like a dumb—”

“Let me see.” She doesn’t let him finish, too embarrassed to even say anything when she checks the time and now her thirty-minute break has turned into a twenty-five-minute one. “Uh, actually…I’m going to revise it during my break. I’ll give you an answer in twenty.”

Of course, there are far more important things than talking to Seungyoon and while eating a bowl of salad in a restaurant that she has never really tried to go to, she revises over what Joe had made before she heard the sound of her phone vibrating.

While munching on her food, she reaches for her phone, reading the sentence that Seungyoon had written: “Sorry. I had fallen asleep. I want to be awake!” The second part of his text is in his mother language, making her copy and paste it in the translator before reassuring him that it is okay. After all, it must be hard on its own to work almost all day, just like it is for her. It is noticeable that there are barriers in between the two—bridges, seas, hardships and sometimes, she wonders if it is worth it to get attached. It probably is not, although she would not know until she tried. He is trying, as well, so maybe it wouldn’t turn out as bad as she thought?

💛

Absence is physical. Presence is emotional. It is up to us to decide what we want, to envision it and conceptualize it as our own.

Meanwhile, she is not completely oblivious to the fact that presence is necessary. To feel his warmth close to her when they talk, to fix the edges of his jacket when he is feeling cold, to rub his hands together just when Autumn makes an appearance and his fingers start to become numb. She wants the shy smiles that they used to share, the thrill of having to hear his voice and knowing, while also not, what he means just by the tone of his voice. Body language has always been the key between the two, but that is not what is bothering her; the problem is that absence is physical and presence is emotional, but time is a worldwide known concept that can destroy or put together anything and everything.

You see, people create concepts to make life more difficult and the person that discovered time wanted us to be in the run and to romanticize the end of a day, the final of something bad or something good, to think of tomorrow and yesterday and today and what could happen, what had happened and what continues to happen. That is the main reason why it is so difficult to learn verb changes in different languages and the time, over all, is a concept that haunts her after a month of leaving Busan.

Partly, she thinks that no one is at fault about time’s wrongdoings, but it damn right hurts to see a possibility die down because of hate. Thinking of it, there will always be people who just arrive a little too early or lose their times arriving late. It happens to the best of people, who just so happen to get excited for something—a possibility, and then life sits them down with a silent ‘wait’. It is harsh, a pill that barely goes past your throat before you feel like throwing it up, and some people say that it is just a way of destiny to tell someone that they should wait for something better.

Waiting. Another word she dislikes.

She has waited in queues for concerts, in line for buying something, waited for someone to arrive or for an answer to arrive at her e-mail, but waiting for a person has never been in her schedule. Work, work, work. That is all she had thought about, and with a reason, because work environments tend to be more organized. Love, relationships, friendships…those are always more difficult to put together.

It is heartbreaking when she gets to respond Seungyoon’s message when she gets home. Her eyes itch from tiredness, feet and muscles aching thanks to the long routine—because the amount of walking she did must be considered a work-out routine—that she had at work. Her lips bite down on a piece of bread, too tired to even make anything for herself as she plops down on the couch. A month after their encounter, Seungyoon is speaking about the possibility of going to her town for winter. It is a reason to look forward to the saddening set of months that comprise winter, but after she reads that message, she is welcomed by a continuation.

“I’ll see if I can make it. The hotel is having an expansion in Jeju and I’m going there around November for the winter opening. Sorry. I will try, though!” is what the translator read and she throws her head back, pressing her hand to her forehead in utter stress. She knows that their relationship has transcended from shy stares to a kiss and then full on conversations. Seungyoon’s family already knows about her, he knows about her hardships and it is quite obvious that she is crushing on him. A man that she doesn’t even get to see, that she knew physically for only twelve days. She wants to hit herself, enter in a state of reason, but it is impossible…or so she thinks.

“Can’t it be one night, though? Even a day would be enough for me. Or I could go there…but I don’t think I have enough savings for it, and my boss won’t give me a winter break.” She confesses, as if she is trying to grasp the light in the dark. Some people say that when there’s light, there’s darkness and vice versa, but sometimes she thinks that is just another choice of words for positivism and negativism. Some days, she just feels like being hit by reality because this constant daydreaming is not doing her well.

“A day is too little, crazy.” He jokes around in his own language before he switches the slightest. He has taken it as a dare for himself to teach each other what they know of their own languages, and although she really is trying, with the little amount of time she has on her hands, she can barely talk to him. “Go eat, you’re hungry.”

He worries, he is there when he could have easily forgotten about her and while doubt fills her up, followed by the darkness that seems to surround their blossoming something—because giving it a name would be pointless—, she feels like Seungyoon is worth it. Blind she is, for she cannot see him by her side. Deaf she continues, not listening to the obvious signs that they will end up in the word heartbreak. Mute she will remain, because admitting to her mistake is unlike her.

💛

“Haven’t seen you as excited these past three months. Do you miss Busan?”

Joe, Joe, Joe. Such comment would only be made by Joe and his insensitive ass, or maybe she’s just being picky and petty about everything around her at such a moment. Busan brings her memories that only cause more stress, much more when she realizes that she has—then again—drowned in work and self-improvement enough to forget about her own enjoyment. Seungyoon is not forgotten, of course, but their communication falls short with the amount of free time that they really have. None, that is the answer. Seungyoon is preparing for the launch of a new hotel in Jeju, claiming that he does not really think that he will be able to make it for winter, and she has worked her ass off only to have taxes and other matters to take care of before actually thinking of making a second trip only a few months apart from one another.

Her hand reaches behind her as she continues to revise over her project for the tenth time, too scared of ruining everything that she has worked extremely hard for. At least, if she is giving her life away for her work, the most she wants is for a good outcome to follow her sacrifices. She tugs at his tie, bringing his face down to her side, not even sparing him a glance as he stands behind her. “Listen, I’m not sad or nostalgic or anything of that sort. I am fucking stressed, which is different.” She lets go of the tie, brushing out strands of her hair away from her face with her fingers before sighing. “And yes, I miss Busan.” Joe just had the audacity to talk to her in one of those days where she really longed for a conversation with Seungyoon and damn her runny mouth, she ended up telling him everything about Jeju. Only Tiffany knew about such thing and maybe trusting her coworker is not…much of a good choice, but Joe barely talks to anyone in the office other than his online friends. It’s not like he is a gossiper, really.

Joe rubs his neck, huffing out a breath before speaking up. “Just talk to him! Stop revising and tell him how you need a boost. A lift-me up. A nude. Whatever it is that makes you happy.”

“I fucking swear I will kill you—”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Joe complains, although the smile on his face shows that he is really enjoying this. “I am actually rooting for you two.” Those words make her look up from the sheets of papers she holds in between her fingers, eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion because she is also rooting for themselves, but she knows they are almost impossible. “And I am sure he feels the same as you. So text your guy. Don’t lose a chance like that.”

Turns out that Joe is correct. She does get two good news that afternoon—one, that she has a new and more important spot in her company, bound to change workplaces and get even more recognition and secondly, that Seungyoon can visit her for a week a little bit before wintertime.

It takes days of revising over textbooks, pondering on their first meeting at the airport is going to be like and much more stress for her to feel half-ready to meet Seungyoon. After all, they have not been the most united of people for the past months and to see that, although their time-differences and busy schedules did their best to get them to pull away, he still wants to try something out. Perhaps, Seungyoon doesn’t mind having his life in two halves—one in a side of the world and the other with himself.

It brings her power to think this way as she waits for Seungyoon, trying to sit down and wait but instead standing up and waltzing around the room in utter annoyance at herself for being so nervous. People weren’t aware of how she feels, as if looking at Seungyoon will give her whiplash. Dreams aren’t supposed to become a reality per-say, after all, and to see him would be the epitome of the phrase. The pattering rain outside of the airport makes her feel more uneasy, exchanging glances through the windows to see her car bathed in water and somehow, it does the complete opposite of calming her down. Only when she hears the sound of someone talking through the speaker about how Seungyoon’s flight is landing, does she really realize that it is happening.

Seungyoon is there for her.

Seeing him leaves her in awe, much more when he smiles at her from afar. It is a promise, one that tells her that they will always end in each other’s arms, as long as they try. She waits for him to get closer, hearing the sound of suitcases roaming around the floor, wheels hitting the ceramic in the flooring. Seungyoon moves quicker, as if he has forgotten about her face, and she feels like she had forgotten about his even though they had video-chatted. His skin was a little bit less tanned, gift from the ever-growing state of winter, and by the time he reaches her, she can’t study any more of his appearance, his arms wrapping around her shoulders and bringing her close to him to hug her.

She chuckles against the fabric of his sweater, tugging at the fabric to bring him even closer before resting her head on his shoulder. His scent is different, more musky and less sweet, and she has always known that she missed him…but never to this extent. Seungyoon is no longer a man for her to have fun with, but he has her wrapped around his little finger. “Oh God, you’re here.” She speaks against his clothing, hearing the sound of his laughter coming soon after. The man would not ever know just how happy she was of seeing him, of feeling him, of having the moon right at her feet without time differences to peak through the growth of their relationship. “I missed you so much, Yoon.”

“You’ve grown so much.” Seungyoon speaks in his own language, making her smile now that she can catch a few bits and pieces.

“I guess.” She replies, rolling her eyes at his words. To anyone, their antics seemed to be odd, but it is its uniqueness that makes it fun. “Let me carry that for you—”

Seungyoon clicks his tongue, pushing his suitcase away. “No, I will do it.”

“Yoon. Let me or I’ll kill you.” Seungyoon widens his eyes at the sound of her voice in the language that she is still learning, bringing a sense of comfort with it all. He wraps his free arm around her shoulder, making her walk, giving her time to realize that it is real. He is there. For a week. For her and her only.

“Let’s eat.”

Sharing stories with someone after some time of not seeing them can go two ways: extremely awkward, with faint nods and fake laughter or just the opposite. She figures out that they have grown in the time that they have been apart. Seungyoon has been more acknowledge in the hotel, going from a simple tour guide to being in charge of the tourism area of the hotel and she has gotten a lift-me-up at her job, as well. His smile is brighter, his words still thick in an accent but much more confident and there is no longer a barrier in between the two, like it had happened through texts lately. He has all his attention on her, eating and sharing plates filled with hot-cakes and trying out whatever dessert they could find in the menu. Lively, free, unweighted, two fleeting hearts that become two.

The rain has never been quite as beautiful. The scent of it is heavy as she walks towards Seungyoon’s hotel with their fingers interlocked. Each finger of his seems to fit in between hers perfectly, the gloomy and otherwise gray atmosphere buzzing with something along the lines of tension—but not the bad kind, the one that comes with the memory of an exchanged kiss months ago, or one too many. Once in front of the hotel, with the wind blowing at their coats obnoxiously, the sound of fabrics flapping making it all the less romantic, Seungyoon brings her hand up to his face, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it and before he could say anything, anything remotely close to goodbye or see you, she interrupts him:

“C-Can I go with you…to your room?”

Seungyoon quirks an eyebrow, a silly smile appearing on his face. “Like Busan?”

Busan. She will always love the place, she believes. The beachy sides and the city skylines, the people and the food, the atmosphere all around—the tourism that Seungyoon showed to her, although she wished she would have paid more attention. Seungyoon is also a big highlight of her Busan trip. “I just want…to spend some time with you. Is that so wrong?”

“No.” He whispers, his smile never faltering as he brings her inside.

Champagne sheets, a small television that is turned on thanks to the remote by Seungyoon’s bedside table and then, they are talking about life once again. Seungyoon speaks about how much he loves being an only child now, but when he was younger he wished to have a sibling. He teaches her some of his favorite curse words, laughing soon after at her antics and she opens up her heart, as well. The heartbreaks she has gone through, the tough days, the sweat-filled exam seasons that she had passed…it was all burned in her memory, engraved, and yet Seungyoon had taken up a place there in so little time.

It felt right to kiss him again, his upper lip trapped in between hers as she holds the delicacy of his cheek, tilting her head to the side to make the kiss more profound, less shy and more forward. Seungyoon’s hands are a gun and he aims it at her, resting on her waist with sure yet relaxed movements. His breathing becomes shallow—in and out, in and out, until his body weight leans back thanks to her. Her eyes scan his face, his questioning eyes that ask for the next step, she can create the tempo she wants and Seungyoon will only be willing to follow after her. It is a metaphor for what they are, a guitarist following musical notes set by her. By the time she kisses him again, she knows it is only the start of the night.

💛

Waking up in hotel beds had never been something she missed until she woke up in her own bed. A week later with Kang Seungyoon in a plane to his hometown and a pillow bathed in her own tears.

She had half expected, or hoped, really, that Seungyoon would say something before leaving. Ask her something, exactly, that would have them ditching the title of friends for something more formal and while his fingers were carved deep in her skin, her heart, her soul in the shape of love and sin, he had not said a thing. She thought he would when she took him to the airport, his hand holding hers against his chest before he swallowed his own question, those few words that would have them united as more than two souls. Girlfriend is what she wanted her name to be when he introduced her, but Seungyoon got in a plane, saying that he will miss her with one last kiss that tasted as bitter as the ballads Seungyoon sang the morning after their first night together—Urban Zakapa, he says they are called.

Heartbreak is worn around her neck even though she tries to cover it with makeup, a good outfit and a fake smile to let her know that she has a new position now. A new place to go to, but then she is reminded that she couldn’t even talk about this to Tiffany or Joe at the office, that her dreams are finally taking place in her life and she needs to hold on to having them come true. This is what she always wanted and yet, there is heavy loneliness that creeps up her body now that Seungyoon is gone. He is not her middle half, for fuck’s sake—she doesn’t even believe in such things, but she likes him.

Him and his plump lips, excellent wit, cocky intelligence and overall understanding personality. An all-around man that has his mistakes, like his lack of knowledge of where they stand in the relationship and his easy-going personality that leads her to believe that they are never going to be serious.

Cold, so much that her hair feels the humidity of the air, and she huffs out when she gets inside the car, pondering if she should turn on the heater or not. Suddenly, the songs at the radio are too cheesy or too pointless, all she wants to do is have something to distract herself with. A pile of work, a cup of coffee, a magazine to read on her break and a text, a text that she doesn’t get in the car or at the office.

She actually gets a text from him when she gets out of work, pushing the scarf around her neck off and into the passenger’s seat with anger. Damn the weather for her first day at the new office—

Once she checks her phone, she reads a message from Seungyoon, along with a picture of him holding a peace sign up to his tired face: “Back at home now. I will go to sleep. Miss you!”

To be missed is not the same as being loved, but it rightfully brings a smile to her face.

💛

Four whole months of working at a new office has her feeling like she is at the top of the clouds. Mainly because sometimes she doesn’t know where she is going, but also because it is everything that she has ever aspired to have in her life.

Four whole months of forgetting to respond to texts, to e-mails, even to calls from the recent-mother Tiffany and while she does her best to keep up with her friends, she is far too busy. Sometimes, she goes out to eat with Joe or Tiffany—including her husband, at some downtown restaurant with feel-good music and a family atmosphere, most of the time denying her romance with Joe because the man is far off from her type, or her line of vision. Seungyoon is the answer to that last spot, a romantic encounter that she has through texts, video-calls and then, absolute silence.

One would think that time can only strengthen a relationship, until it destroys it. Seungyoon is busier, quite obviously, and has been going back and forth from Jeju to Busan, and the more they try, the less they talk to one another. Before, it was the time difference but seven months after they met first, now there were other problems. Jealousy that sometimes poured from words against one another was the least of their worries, although it happened. Sometimes, it was the fact that they could never meet—Seungyoon says that he tried to go to visit her even though he was busy and that she should do the same, only to have her declining because she doesn’t have the time to worry about him for now. He gets mad, she apologizes and they talk. She cuts him off, he sends his apologies and they get back to how they used to be. The distance is slowly killing them; to the point she believes that it been wrong of her to think that it would ever go to something else.

Quite clearly, Seungyoon is scared of commitment—or at least, committing to something he doesn’t know the future of. He is used to seeing through everything, intelligent at its finest, but love is something they cannot control. As time passes by, her heart only aches for him more and more, wondering if one day they are going to be in the same page, but one is always ahead, far away in another land for them to continue with their lives without the other.

Which is why she is in that position at the moment, biting down on her nails and looking out of her window to see the buildings outside. Her phone is pressed up her ear, knowing that it was probably early for Seungyoon and for the first call, he doesn’t answer. The second, however, must have caught her attention and soon after, his groggy voice fills the air, one that had her falling in love every time they woke up in the same bed:

“Hello?”

Hello, he said. And she was ready to say goodbye.

She doesn’t know how to start, if she has to ask him how he is doing or if she has to tell it straight. Her mind is giving spins and she wants to hang up. If she feels like she loves Seungyoon, then why doesn’t she keep him to himself? Why doesn’t she simply ask him to be her boyfriend? What is so wrong about being direct sometimes? Only that, for the first time, she sees Seungyoon’s point of view. They are attached to one another, but bluntly impossible. There was never a right time for them, the clock always moved too fast or too slow, causing them to get jet-lagged on one another. “I feel like I can’t do this anymore.”

“Sorry?” Seungyoon asks, the sound of his blankets serving as white noise and she sighs deeply, remembering the language skills that she has tried to perfect for the past few months.

“I…” She thinks how to structure the sentence before she sighs deeply. “I don’t want…to be together anymore.”

Silence, followed by a sigh that matches her own. “Why?” He asks, standing up and by the sound of his steps, he must be going around the room. Distress could be heard through his voice and she wonders why she is doing such thing. Is it too late to say ‘April Fools’?!

“Listen, I really thought about this these past few days and…I love you, I really do. But, hear me out, I don’t think we will ever work out. You’re too far away and I am too busy—”

“We can make it work.” The language switching, something that only happened between them, has her mind feeling even more confused and she pressed one palm to her forehead. It is now or never.

“I don’t think so.” She reasons with him, only to hear his anger going past an exhale through his nose. “I really love you, Yoon, but these past few months have been rough on us.”

“Alright. Okay.” Seungyoon mumbles and then, he breathes in and out, to calm himself down, to remain sane…for some reason he does it. She feels like this ending is not what she ever expected, for she felt like she could make it work from the very beginning, but some stories aren’t meant to be told. “I love you, too.” Those words could have gone perfectly with an earlier confession, but maybe it was a nice move of life—it would have been harder to move on if they were in a relationship. “We are good?”

“We’re good.”

💛

Busan, oh Busan, the place of her dreams.

She doesn’t know how it happens. Two years after her supposed ‘break-up’ with Seungyoon, she finds some kind of comfort and attractiveness in one of her coworkers, the same one that had showed her around the building from the moment she arrived at the new office and while Tiffany and Joe are bustling with happiness at her friend finally moving on from the long-distance-relationship that had made her get to know the meaning of love behind millions of barriers, she still feels uneasy. That doesn’t last a month or two, it lasts three whole months until she decides to give her, now boyfriend, coworker an opportunity.

Some people are just meant to bare your soul, to fix you and promise you what you never had, but sometimes she wonders if she ever really wanted to forget about Seungyoon. Moving on with her life was one thing, surely, like the rhythmic movement of life that follows her own tempo, but Seungyoon was unforgettable. Through the messages he sent her on holidays even though they didn’t talk just to wish her a happy moment or the birthday messages that he sent her through videos, it seemed like Seungyoon would always be there to stay. A tattoo, some saint, but it feels like he is part of her skin by now.

One would think that Busan would not introduce her to two of her most magical moments in her life. The moment she met Kang Seungyoon, with that stupid hat of his and his gorgeous lips, and the moment she gets her boyfriend to propose to her—four years after the start of her relationship, with a nice, small ring and the promise of a happy life. Marriage had always been out of the question…but when in love, it seems like the best idea. Call it irrationality, maybe.

When she gets a glimpse of the beach she once went to on her own, now hand in hand with her fiancé, she thinks that Busan is just her lucky place. Only that she sees Seungyoon getting out of the hotel, in a suit contrary to his casual clothing from before, and she would learn a few days later that he finally owned the hotel he used to work at. His eyes connect to hers, like polar opposites that need to be together at any given moment, and his gaze is filled with recognition. His hair is still as dark as ever, although pushed away from his face to show a more mature phase of the man. No longer a tour guide, it seems.

Then, he realizes her hands interlocked with someone else’s and his smile falters for a fraction of a second before it glides over his face once again. The rays of sunshine beam over her ring when she lifts her hand to wave at him, moving it frantically from side to side only to have Seungyoon do the same.

He guesses he just has to come to terms that they weren’t meant to be.

#seungyoon scenarios #seungyoon #winner scenarios #winner #kpop scenarios #writing #winner fluff #winner angst #winner au #seungyoon fluff #seungyoon angst #seungyoon au #tour guide!seungyoon #long distance relationship!au #SORRY FOR THE LENGTH #AND THE ANGST

[madcapmoon]

Brendan Canty interview

by Sean Fogarty Dec 1998

So through this one-degree-of-separation thing, I find out that my Aunt Susie knows Brendan Canty, the drummer of Fugazi (long story…). I invited her to their show at the Sanctuary Theater in DC last December, and she introduced me to him after their set. He was nice enough to invite me into his home for an interview a few days later. Hell, he even let me check out his studio and gave me a bunch of iced tea while I was there. What a champ… This is part of our conversation. Oh, and by the way, Aunt Susie really liked the show, so if you EVER get the chance, take her word for it and go see ‘em rawk!!!

Sean: Have you had any problems balancing the marriage / kids thing with the band?

Brendan: There has been a period of adjustment in the last year for us, but also for the band.

Are you the only one that’s married?

No, Joe is married also. But I’m the only one with kids.

What kinds of changes have you had to make?

Well, we’ve been touring a lot less. Since he was born we’ve only been on three tours and we’ve only done two and a half or three weeks on each one. If you juxtapose that with how much we used to tour, which was about six months out of the year, it’s been a great shift. But it’s also been great because at the same time we’ve been able to get a lot of stuff done. We’ve been able to finish up this movie thing after years and years of working on it. And I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with my family. I’ve also been able to spend a lot of time working on soundtrack stuff and writing for the band. Whereas earlier this year I felt like we were kind of hitting a glass wall writing-wise. As things felt like they were getting more normalized, as far as our shorter touring schedule, and everybody in the band becoming more used to it, I feel like now, in these past few months, when we sit in the basement, we can come up with stuff instantaneously. We’ve been writing tons, and it feels great. I felt like there’s a lot of shifts, a lot of transitions going on. Not just in the last year since Asa was born, but before that. You get really uptight when you’re pregnant. It’s like being constipated or something. You’re just waiting for this thing to happen, and you might not even notice it, but you get very tense about it. The anxiety of the possibilities that could happen really get to you after a while. So while I was going through that, my bandmates were going through it also, as far as what might change or the way things were going to change. And just that anticipation of change was something that could have easily broken us up as a band. But the fact is that everybody really kept their cool and they’ve been really supportive. And I think we’ve come out more productive. Well, I don’t know about more productive. We certainly were getting a lot done when just the four of us were touring nonstop, but it’s nice to know that you can have a kid and still get things done music-wise.

Have you gotten him started with music at all?

Oh, yeah. He’s fourteen months old. He’s been walking since he was eight months old, and he’s been playing drums since he was about six months old. (laughs) Yeah, he loves the drums and the piano. He’s got a snare drum and a tom that he plays all the time.

Does he come to practices and shows?

He’s seen me play. Once a year we play in Ft. Reno (in DC), and last August he got to see me play there for the first time. And he went to the Sanctuary (Theater, also in DC) show last week.

Does he wear earplugs?

At Ft. Reno, it’s outside, and at Sanctuary Theater he didn’t make it past the soundcheck. He’s actually pretty used to it. I’m not trying to blow out his eardrums, but like I said, he’s got a real passion for drums. Any time anybody is playing drums, he wants to play. I’ll sit down and play kick and hi-hat with my feet, and he’ll just work the rest of the toms and the snare and some of my cymbals. And it’s pretty spot on. But he does it and of course I’m really psyched, and I encourage it. I’m sure that’s part of it… part of it.

Being in a band for eleven years, it seems like devoting that much of your time and energy to a band you probably had to sacrifice some stuff along the way. Is there anything that you feel like if you could go back that you wish you could give more attention to, or that you feel like you sacrificed in order to dedicate yourself to Fugazi?

Retrospectively, no. There were certainly times in the midst of those eleven years where I felt regretful for doing things…

No regrets?

No regrets now, because a lot of that time, what I felt as regret then, was really just frustration. A lot of the time it was just logistical frustrations, like the fact that my wife was in school. Or it didn’t feel like it was really time to have kids or to do something differently, but you really wanted to. For me, a lot of it was that I always really wanted a home base and I always really wanted to have a kid. And I also really wanted to be creating and to devote as much time to Fugazi as possible. I feel like we create really well together. Everybody else was there and ready to go, and I really wanted to be there too. But at the same time I really wanted to have a home. I mean, I’ve lived in different group houses with people that I loved and was best friends, but it didn’t really feel like my home. That was a struggle that went on for years, and it’s finally resolved itself. So, in retrospect, I can say that it wasn’t really time, because I wouldn’t commit myself to it, so I obviously wasn’t ready for it. When I really did feel like I was ready for it, it happened really quickly. My wife was out of school. She’s a naturopathic doctor. So when she was out of school we could move on. She was ready to have a kid and I was really ready to have a kid, so we just went ahead and did it. So, retrospectively, I’m glad we didn’t sacrifice and have the kid the second year she was in middle school, or back before we made In on the Kill Taker or Red Medicine. That’s a constant trade off for everybody, the whole art vs. home, or home vs. away. Us sitting in the basement and making music is one part of what we do, but a big part of Fugazi is going out every night and going through the anxiety of proving ourselves as a decent band, against our extremely rigid standards. We really have such high, rigid standards for ourselves that two songs could be screwed up during a set and we’ll consider it the worst show we’ve ever played. I guess it’s some sort of psychosis….

Would you call yourself a perfectionist?

At different times, yeah. It’s mostly about yourself. I mean, you really want to be a fluid performer. You want to be able to getup there and not have to think about the fundamentals of playing a song. 99% of the set is the fundamentals, but that 1% is about getting above that and getting some sort of fluid spirituality on stage where you don’t think about that and you’re just sort of communicating with people on the musically level… Real interaction, where you can really hear each other and you can really elevate the set to something else where things can happen spontaneously, that doesn’t happen every night. You really want it to. Every tour, the first couple of shows are always awesome, so then it’s like, "How can I make it awesome every night?" So the next four or five nights, you’re really working at that. I spend a lot of time marking my drums so that they’re consistent every night. That’s pretty easy. You just put duct tape where all of your stuff goes. But playing different beats requires different body positions, so you’re just trying to get them so that all of those different body positions come naturally. You want it to happen as instinctually as possible, so the next week of the tour is spent trying to figure that out. You’ve finally figured that out and you’re about nine days into the tour… And now, with our shortened tour schedule, we only have a few days left, and that last week is usually pretty good.

Is that the big challenge that’s left for you guys? It seems like you’ve toured pretty much everywhere that’s possible to tour…

Not really.

What’s left then? Where do you still want to play?

We want to go to South Africa. There’s still a lot of places.

Aside from touring, what goals are still left for the band?

Our main goal is just to remain productive, to keep writing songs that satisfy us creatively, individually. It’s hard to have a specific goal, but I would say that the ultimate goal is being clear about what you want out of the band and out of music and each song… I’m on the verge of getting completely esoteric (laughs), but it’s basically simplicity vs. math rock. For me, I get a lot of kicks out of writing incredibly complicated shit and arranging songs to death.

What kinds of influence do you have as far as drumming and music go?

I don’t know. I guess it’s this King Crimson-y kind of thing that goes on fundamentally. It’s really kind of hard for me to just say, "Okay, you know those two notes played eight times sounds great." When you’re writing songs, you just want to push it, but at the same time, it’s not easy to visualize a two note song without lyrics on it. So I guess ultimately it would be a lot easier if Ian and Guy wrote lyrics really early in the process. Then our songs would be more simple. Like a lot of our older songs, Ian wrote the lyrics early on.

So do you guys write everything as a band now?

Not lyrics, but the music, yeah.

Is that why it’s so much more complex now?

Yeah, I think so. I think it’s also that you sit around and practice and try to make it better, but we don’t necessarily do that with lyrics. So we do write them to death, to the point where there’s no room for lyrics. So those guys have the responsibility of squeezing lyrics into songs that were written...

As instrumentals.

Yeah, as instrumentals. Which is basically almost every song on the last four records. Joe’s song is interesting on the last record. I thought that that was sort of getting back a little bit to the point where we were writing with lyrics. It interesting, once you actually hear the voice and hear the words, you get a real affection for the words. And you really want the words to achieve their goal, so you start working the songs around the lyrics. That’s where the demo comes in. A lot of times, you try to record it a few times, and then really record it. That song "Instrument", we had that song and there were so many guitars on it constantly that it was really full, as a lot of our stuff is. We were listening to a demo, and Guy just popped the guitars out of the song, and it was like, "Oh, there’s the song." Immediately, you can hear the lyrics and get the dynamic. But it’s hard to know when you’re writing songs, especially when you don’t have the lyrics. And it’s also hard when there’s four guys in the room to tell somebody not to play something. You really want a song to be as good as it can be, whatever it takes, whether it’s the most simple approach or the most complicated approach.

What I liked about Joe’s song, especially when you play it live, is that it kind of takes the spotlight away from Ian and Guy. Honestly, I’ve never seen an interview with either you or Joe. I’m not trying to start any shit or anything, but does that ever get annoying, that so much attention is focused on one or two members of the band?

You know, I actually like it this way. It’s a double-edged sword. Generally, I don’t like answering fan mail. I don’t mind doing interviews. I like it, but a lot of the time… Like, we had to do some interviews because we were going to Australia, so we had to call these people. I would call them up and the first thing they would ask me is, "How come Ian can’t do the interview?" And he gets it, too. Shit rolls downhill.

And then everybody wants to ask why he’s not straight edge anymore…

Yeah, exactly. It’s usually the first question. I’m not saying that’s true across the board, but there’s definitely a lot of people out there who only want to hear from Ian. There’s a few less people who want to hear from Ian and Guy. And I think there’s about four people who want to hear from Joe and I. (laughs) But yeah, it’s a double edged sword. It’s like, "I’m up for doing interviews, but fuck you. If you want to do an interview with Ian then I don’t want to…"

Waste your time.

Exactly. We did a whole interview for NPR, for "All Things Considered" about a month and a half ago. Me and Ian sat down and answered questions for an hour and a half or two hours. Every question was about 50/50, with both of us answering. Then they aired it and I wasn’t on it at all.

Not one bit?

No, they didn’t even acknowledge that I was there.

Oh, my god.

So, that kind of thing happens and it’s like, "Fuck you." Why would I even bother showing up? I stopped doing that seven years ago. For a long time we tried to do interviews where there were two of us, or all four of us. I would interject something and the person would go, "Uh-huh, yeah…" and then point the microphone back at Ian.

That’s got to be an awkward pressure for him.

Yeah, he gets really mad about it. Not only the pressure for him, but he gets so pissed for me. I’ve come to expect it, but he does get pretty pissed off. I wouldn’t have been so pissed (about NPR) if I hadn’t told my mom to listen. (laughs)

So when you guys are playing live, what’s the ideal reaction that you can get from a crowd and what’s the worst?

I’m not a big fan of spit. (laughs) A lot of people watch our show and think that we kind of try to curtain any kind of activity, if somebody’s being really violent… Which happens all of the fucking time. But we do it so that people can enjoy the show. But I think people think we’re really pissed, like the show’s over, because they’re not used to it. They’re not used to bands confronting people about it, about anything. But to us it’s no big deal.

You just want the one asshole to stop.

Exactly, there’s so many great people… I’ll tell ya, this last tour there have been more great crowds than I think we have ever had. Pretty much every night was awesome. Really mellow but cool crowds that were pretty jacked up, knew the songs, and were really psyched about it. And that helps. That lifts your morale so much. But there were times where somebody was throwing punches or there were five dickheads in the crowd doing the wall and pushing everybody. And you have to say something. Otherwise it will destroy the show for you. You can’t play music and be distracted by somebody punching or even pushing somebody to the music.

Like the other night at the Rock For Choice show (in VA), when that guy was just screaming out for a song in the middle of the quiet part of another song…

That was one of the better retorts from Ian.

That was so funny.

When he asked the other guy to remove his hat (and be polite when requesting a song). That was pretty quick.

Do you guys have any ritual-type stuff that you do when you tour or when you’re playing a show.

The whole thing is ritual. Every day is exactly the same.

No superstitious stuff?

No, nothing like that. I have to drink coffee before I play but that’s about it. I’ll tell you exactly how our days go. We usually get up around ten and take our showers and watch TV at the Super 8. We always stay at a Super 8 at this point, unless we’re at a friends house. And I guess we have a lot of friends now.

Probably a bunch you don’t even know…

Yeah. Then we pretty much hit the road, and eat at some shithole. Either Subway or Denny’s or some crap. Then we drive. Usually every day we drive about three or four hours. We get to the show at three thirty or so, and sound check. Jerry, our roadie and second drummer and trumpet player, and Nick Pellicciotto or Joey are usually there a little early. They drive in a Ryder van, and we drive in a mini-van. Then we load in. Then we all go get dinner, and come back by the first band. We usually watch the bands or sit around and chill out backstage and we have a little tea service. I go out and get some coffee so that I can drink coffee during the band just before us. And hopefully they have a good drummer that’ll make me play well. Then we play, and pack up, and usually drive another hour or so to another Super 8. So, it’s pretty spooky. But literally, that’s 99% of the days.

Does that bum you out when you are touring in these exotic, amazing places and you don’t get to do much of anything else?

But in Brazil or Australia of Japan or any of the places where you would take a day off, we schedule a day off. Or Seattle, because I have family. Okay, maybe not in every city. But we’ll take two or three days off in a row in Tokyo. Or even two days is plenty…

You’ll be back.

At some point, yeah. It would be nice to do more, but when you’re taking six guys to Tokyo or to Australia or Brazil, as Mike Watt says, if you’re not playing, you’re paying. (laughs) You know, because every night is three hotel rooms. And we don’t make ten thousand dollars a show. We try to keep our tickets low, so we try to maintain some kind of balance.

Aside from music, are you involved in any other kind of art?

Not really. I end up spending a lot of time with my son. I usually take the kid in the morning so my wife can work and see patients. And she’ll take him in the afternoon so that I can go record in the basement or go practice with Fugazi. Then she usually sees another patient in the evening, and I record after dinner for a couple of hours. Right now I’m working on miniseries called "Buildings, Bridges, and Tunnels" for Discovery. A friend of mine is a producer there, Kurt Sayenga, who is actually the same guy that did the artwork for our first three records. He worked for Discover for a long time doing documentaries and now he has his own production company. He produces his own documentaries and sells them to Discovery channel. And he mover to LA, which is kind of a drag. So I’m working for him now, doing the soundtrack.

What’s the music like?

It’s got a lot of trumpet and piano and drums. I always add the drums at the end. I record a lot of stuff to a drum machine, and then at the end I play real drums on it so that I can interact with the other stuff appropriately. It works great. Like I said, the drums can come and go when they’re appropriate.

And you can play off of the other stuff.

Exactly, you can accent on it. So, I’m doing that. And I just finished a cartoon called "History of Glamour" which right now is just a forty minute prototype of a cartoon. It’s a great story that was written by Theresa Duncan. And Jeremy Blake did the artwork with Karen Kilinnik. She’s a painter. She did sketches of fashion models. So they sort of appropriated her images and turned them into a cartoon. But it’s all about the fashion world. This girl comes from Nebraska to New York and starts a night club in a bathroom stall and it becomes famous. It’s basically people talking retrospectively about her life and her rise and fall. It’s sort of a "Citizen Kane" cartoon-style. I wrote and recorded a bunch of songs and had Kathi Wilcox from Bikini Kill record them. And the children’s songs… I’ve done three CD-Roms for Theresa Duncan. The first one was called "Chop Suey" and that was actually animated by Ian Svenonius from The Make-Up. My brother is in the band also. So he animated them back when she was still in Washington working for Magnet, which is an internet developer. Basically, her idea was to produce CD-Roms for little girls, because at the time there were none. There were about 40,000 different Doom-type games. She was looking for something that was basically a narrative, very imaginative. And she succeeded. In her wake there have been whole companies started. Disney started an all-girl company to tap into that market. Somebody started a company and they actually stole their logo.

Bastards.

Yeah, bastards. Whoever they may be… I can’t remember who it was.

Who cares? It’s the man.

That’s right, the damn man. She eventually sold the project to 20th Century Fox, speaking of the man. (laughs) But it’s really worked for her. I don’t know if they’re still making them. I think she made a deal with FAO Scwartz, and they are distributing all three titles. There’s "Chop Suey", "Smarty", which was called "Smarty-Pants" until we found out the name was registered to someone else, and "Zero Zero", which was a story about a little girl at the turn of the last century in Paris fantacizing about what the next century would be like. So my idea is, since I actually own all of that stuff, to make it into a children’s record, and to add more songs to it. Maybe next year.

Are you gonna do it through Dischord?

Yeah.

Cool. Thanks a lot…

#brendan canty #fugazi

[nightingveilxo]

221Bloodnun’s Updated Rec List

Unless otherwise indicated, fics have an Explicit rating, and John is the Top and/or Dom. Categories: Daddy/Sugar Daddy, Captain, DomJohn, Librarylock, Arranged Marriage/Domestic Situation, A/B/O/, Historicals

Daddy and Sugar Daddy John Watson

A Sherlock In Pink by TheSherlocked (yes, me) Ch: 6/? Words: 12,839 WIP

John Watson is invalided home after his time in Afghanistan, a broken man with no real prospects, and a dwindling bank account. Former colleague Mike Stamford introduces him to the most unusual young man John has ever met, a tea shop owner that looks more like a runway model than anything else, but with a mind like a steel trap. An AU meeting, where John comes back into his own, and Sherlock learns some of the most valuable of life lessons.

Everything You Need by Sexxica Ch: 1 Wods: 6,272

Sherlock is the shy little thing that successful and wealthy Doctor Watson’s dreams are made of. Luckily, Sherlock could really use a Daddy in his life and a good bit of looking after.

Sugar Daddy John (series) by Sexxica Works: 7 Words: 22,504

The very best of Sugar Daddy John and his boy, Sherlock.

To A Tee by lookupkate Ch: 14 Words: 15,321

Sherlock receives a text from an unknown number. The man is under the impression that he needs a sugar daddy. After careful consideration…well, he could be right.

Follow Me Down by 221BeStillMyHeart (HighTimesWithHiddles) Ch: 10 Words: 67,725

Sherlock Holmes is a 23 year old genius working as a forensic analyst at Bart’s hospital. John Watson is a 38 year old army captain just back from war, working as the lead surgeon in the trauma ward. A chance meeting brings them together, and no one is ever the same.

A Kept Man Isn’t A Weak Man by Elphen Ch: 1 Words: 20,429 A/B/O

Sherlock is just out of university, but due to drug habits acquired at said college, Mycroft has cut him off, hoping to put a stop to it that way. Instead, Omega Sherlock struggles doubly, both with his cravings and with finding a job that will not bore him to death and support him financially. Then, when he is on the verge of being completely destitute, he finds several hundred pounds ticking into his account for no apparent reason. He thinks it’s Mycroft, but instead he receives an email from someone who promises to send him more money every fortnight and put him up in a flat rent free, on two conditions; he will stop taking drugs and he will occasionally be asked to be a companion for someone. He does not want to be bought like some toy, but what choice does he have?

A Suitable Stain by vitruvianwatson (keepyoueyesfixedonme) Ch: 1 Words: 7,647

John imagines what they must look like–the young, gorgeous university student, naked as the day he was born, draped over the well-dressed older doctor, the muscles rippling in Sherlock’s back as his slim hips roll that beautiful arse up into the air and back down again, his spine curving beneath John’s hand as he moves it to the small of Sherlock’s back to feel the movement. The hard outline of Sherlock’s cock slides back and forth across John’s body, dampening his clothes with precome, and John moves both hands down to Sherlock’s arse, squeezing and pulling him in harder.

Bespoke by consultingbluebell Ch: 1 Wods: 5728

Sherlock is not at all happy about having to wear a suit for an upcoming party, but he might just change his mind when he meets successful and talented tailor John Watson.

A Little Sugar Never Hurt Anybody by beautifullyheeled Ch: 3/? WIP Words: 11,223

Sherlock’s search for a quiet place to study gave him a whole new learning opportunity.

Breck Verse (series) by orphaned Works: 4 Words: 22,363 (Last story never completed, but doesn’t effect the completion of other stories.)Dr. Watson, world-renowned cardiac surgeon, accepts an invitation to be keynote speaker at a medical conference in Breckenridge, Colorado, a ski resort town in the Rocky Mountains. He meets a sexy young bartender at the opening dinner then spends the week making his baby happy.

Wrapped Around Your Finger by MojoFlower Ch: 4 Words: 27,308 (There is a bit too much top!lock at the end for my taste, but the beginning is good.)Virgin!Sherlock, 18 and just out of school, is in Morocco in the early 1900’s to learn about the ways of the world. Dr. John Watson, lately of the British Army and invalided out at age of 36, picks him up in the market place. Lessons (you know what kind) are taught and absorbed. Inspired by the song Wrapped Around Your Finger by The Police. I’d say PWP, except there’s a soupçon of plot, given that it’s a story worked around the lyrics of the song.

Sugar Daddy John Verse series by Miss Lee Works: 2 Words: 6k

A hot little series about the successful surgeon Sugar Daddy John Watson and his angelic, slutty Twink Sherlock. Lots of sex. Just generally a good time.

Captain John Watson

Command Structure by 221b_hound Ch: 16 Words: 49,034 (I’ve read this one several times.)

Sherlock Holmes returns from his hunt to destroy Moriarty’s network. He comes home to John, and at long last they start this thing between them that couldn’t begin while Moriarty threatened them.But Sherlock has returned fractured and suffering anxiety attacks. He thinks he needs discipline - the whip - to help him focus and be strong. But his problems are deeper and run back to a childhood of neglect.John Watson is prepared to be Sherlock’s Captain, but he’s a doctor too. His command style isn’t about pain and subjugation. It’s about care and responsibility: and those concepts go in both directions in Captain Watson’s command structure.

Across Every Universe - Green Eyes at Rainbow Corner by Pmzilla Ch: 21  Words: 21,505 Based on a prompt I created about the WWII song Green Eyes

Sherlock Holmes goes undercover as a Naval Lieutenant at American Red Cross Club in London, Rainbow Corner to find out whether the plans for the D-Day Invasion have been compromised by an American Colonel. Whilst investigating, he meets the captivating Capt. John Watson, who finds himself centre stage in both the dance club and Sherlock’s investigation.

Cadet Holmes: A Detective Undercover by Talizora Ch: 1 Words: 6,388

Sherlock took a deep breath and reached out to lightly brush his fingers across the heavy fabric of the uniform. The shudder that rocked through his whole body was entirely involuntary and hateful. He needed to get over this reaction fast because if he was this affected by an empty uniform on a bed how would he deal with being surrounded by fit men wearing the uniforms while they got hot and sweaty.

Captain, My Captain (Part I of The Stripper Diaries series) by twistedthicket1 Ch: 1 Words: 7,845Sherlock Holmes walks into a strip club for a case. He winds up leaving with more than he bargained for…

Night Song (Niht Drēam) by Bashfulbunny (Aequoreavictoria) Ch: 15/? WIP Words: 15,579 A/B/OBattle hardened alpha John’s self-discipline is tested by his overwhelming attraction to Sherlock, a young prisoner-of-war omega in need of his protection and care.

Captain Watson by Sexxica Ch: 1 Words: 5,144Sherlock is bored and it is driving John insane. Time for Captain Watson to take charge.

Surrender (Part II of the Unwind series) by illwick Ch: 3 Words: 13,506

Sherlock and John take a stab at negotiating a kink. Three rounds of filthy smut ensue. (Includes gunplay)Dom!John/sub!sherlock BDSM Lifestyle

A Little Help from my Friends by Ttime42 Ch: 28 Words: 140,776In a world where everyone identifies as either a dominant or a submissive, Sherlock is having a rough time moving on from a bad relationship and has sworn off doms forever. John has recently returned to London from war and has a fortuitous run in with an old friend in a park. Sherlock and John’s lives are changed forever because of that chance meeting, and they’ll both find their way through life with a little help from their friends.

Shames and Praises by s0mmerspr0ssen Ch: 7 Words: 51,919

Unable but desperate to find a dom who will put up with him, Sherlock swallows his pride and turns to Mycroft for help. Shortly after, John Watson steps into Sherlock’s life.

Librarylock Collection of Clues by ianavi Ch: 1 Words: 8,922 (I’ve read this one several times.)

There was no sleeping that night. And not due to the awkward stammering in the stacks of the library. Or the phrasing of what felt as a sudden dismissal. All Sherlock could think about was John’s gaze on his neck, lips, reddening cheeks. How heated he felt under that gaze, how alone when John left. He was itching with desperation to not just be looked at but also touched. It was juvenile fantasy. But he was alone in his bedroom, it was past midnight, and he could indulge. He imagined John’s hand reaching to touch his cheek, his fingers brushing his lips. He buried his head into the pillow and groaned. Could John ever see him like that, ever want him?

A Study In Flirting by GubraithianFire Ch: 1 Words: 5,885

Sherlock is the new librarian at the university library. John is bad with pick-up lines.

Quo Fata Vocant by prettysailorsoldier Ch: 1 Words: 18,115

Sherlock is enamored with one of the employees at the university library, wiling away hours of his days just to catch a glimpse of the dynamic John Watson: captain of the rugby team, event manager for the LGBT society, and third-year medical student. Of course, being only a first-year, it’s unlikely John will ever notice him. At least, until fate (and a little well-intentioned meddling) intervenes.

Careless by lookupkate Ch: 15 Words: 23,652

Sherlock is an eighteen year old student working at a library. John is an army medic sent back to London after an injury. He’s spending a lot of time at the library working on his PhD. Sherlock decides he wants to fuck this mystery student, so he initiates a sexual relationship. He doesn’t really do emotional attachment anyhow, and if he tells John he’s twenty three, what’s the harm? It’s not like he’ll want John to stick around. Right? Right?!?Sherlock done fucked up.

360.5 by justacookieofacumberbatch (buffyholic) Ch: 6 Words: 18,761

One would think that working as a page at the university library would be relatively peaceful, but what John spies through the gap in the shelves changes his mind.

Arranged Marriage or Domestic Situation

The Bachelor’s Handfasting by Jberry Ch: 20 Words: 20,625 (Sherlock is the smolest gay baby in this one, John is an older widower, and I have probably read this fic a dozen times.)

After her son is caught in a compromising position, Victoria Holmes must make arrangements for a quick marriage between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

A Human’s Prize by clearinghouse Ch: 2 Words: 22,232 (Sherlock is a smol merman, John is a bamf!, and I’ve read this one several times.)

Prince John is a well-travelled man of the world, and yet even he is taken aback when a beautiful merman is delivered to the doorstep of the castle. Despite the helpless creature’s fear of him, John resolves to be the best host he can be for his adorable new guest.

Il Traviato by kedgeree Ch: 18 Words: 68,809 (It’s much like Pretty Woman, but Sherlock and John are very in character.)

A down-on-his-luck ex-soldier meets a wealthy businessman in need of a short-term companion

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria Ch: 27 Words: 95,159 (Another I’ve read several times.)

Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.“The essentials of their relationship distilled through solitude.”–review by Alicat

A/B/O

Siege by PlainJane Ch: 17 Words: 55,410In 1415, English archer John of Kenilworth is sent by Lord Mycroft Holmes from the field of victory at Agincourt to protect a remote French castle. Cherinfourde is under some dark cloud and John means to get to the bottom of it, in his lord’s name. If only he could stop thinking about the most unusual omega he has ever met.

Loving Care by Elphen Ch: 3 Words: 22,124AU, Omegaverse, Modern times with Edwardian social structure.

Omega Sherlock, out of options for another job, goes into the traditonal Omega occupation of male nurturer. His very first job is taking care of 16-month-old Hamish, son of the highly respected, socially connected widowed doctor, Alpha John Watson. He grows to love the kid very quickly, which he hadn’t expected, nor did he expect to fall for the Alpha quite so hard. Much as they hit it off, though, and whatever behaviour John exhibits, Sherlock knows that they are too far apart socially, even without John still being in love with his wife. His time is limited. Isn’t it?

A House in the Country by PlainJane Ch: 11 Words: 20,085

With new “real rape” laws in place, every unbonded omega is at risk, including Sherlock Holmes. He needs someone to help protect him and hide his true nature, but John Watson may be more of a problem than a solution.

Historical AUs (That don’t fit the categories above)

Basically anything by Holly Sykes (Artemis8147)

An English Jazz Player in Chicago by alyxpoe Ch: 16 Words: 29k

Sherlock is a young musician trying out to play with a band in the Blue Room, the best jazz club of Chicago in 1925. John Watson is a older private detective just trying to get by, and determined to keep this beautiful young man at bay--until a murder investigation brings them together, and John can’t deny how he feels. Period-typical homophobia and racism (not from Sherlock or John).

This Man’s Heart by ellie_hell Ch: 24 Words: 72,991

In the latter part of the 19th century, a peculiar solitary man and an ex-army doctor disfigured at war live in a small village, surrounded by breathtaking landscapes. When they first meet, they have no idea their lives are about to change forever and, over the months, they will form an unusual friendship, discover more about each other and themselves, and maybe fall a little in love along the way.

Against All Odds by ravenscar Ch: 34 Words: 126,088 (Read three times, and the quick summary does not do it justice.)

When a Crusader crosses paths with an enigmatic young Briton in the Holy Land, their lives are changed forever.

The Royal Caravan by Service Revolver Ch: 10 Words: 53k

Sherlock, a mere servant, is stunned when the powerful, magnificent King John offers Sherlock the opportunity to join him on a journey. At first, it is exciting for Sherlock to serve such a strong, gallant man, but what is a servant to do when he falls in love with a king, especially when that king must someday sire a rightful heir?

Proper Manners also by Service Revolver Part I of King William’s Castle series. Ch: 2 Words: 40k

Sherlock Holmes is a charming—if somewhat eccentric—nobleman who often spends time with John, an apothecary’s son. When John is offered employment at King William’s castle, however, he fears he will have to say goodbye to Sherlock. But in the end, they might actually become closer than before.

[boombitxh]

Scandal Ruminations 7X07

I think that I can finally, for once in my life, with clarity, can tell where Scandal is going! It took me ten thousand years to finally get here but for some reason once I reached the point of indifference I was finally able to objectively watch this show.

 Let’s face it, this show loves to tap dance on our very last nerve. First things first: For what it’s worth I don’t think that Quinn is dead. The actress gave no exit interviews to any press as is customary. I know she just had a baby but these interviews are arranged and conducted way ahead of time.

 I will start by saying this: Olivia still has a few stages to go through before she gets to where she’s going and I’ve identified the stages as follow:

 1)    The Catharsis: the breakdown of what’s left of this version of Olivia. It began this last episode as she grappled with her very own chewy center. She has one but she has deluded herself into thinking that she doesn’t. All the baggage she dropped on Rowan’s living room floor is the most self-aware moment she’s had in years! I found her statement to contradict everything she told Fitz in that 509 argument but I will delve into that later and how S4B & S5 are what bring us the Olivia we see today.

2)    The isolation: Olivia must spend time alone to come to grips with the choices she has made. The choices that affected her personally and the ones that affected her friends/family. This introspection will also serve as the foundation for what Olivia wants to do with her life. If you had asked me a week ago I would’ve told you she needed this introspection but I would have not been inclined to think that she was ready for it. Her moment of self-awareness, in which she acknowledges the root of her problems, her father, serves as the beginning of the breaking down and breaking through to move the show forward and onto her introspection.

3)    The penance: Olivia is not a very verbal person in terms of apologies, I mean I can count on my hand the few times she’s apologized. I think her making amends will be more about actions and less about words.

4)    The Rebuilding: Olivia will eventually power through and finally envision who it is she wants to be and what she wants to be doing. She looked so unenthused when Mellie was giving her the “No man between us” speech that I felt as if she was on the verge of quitting right then and there. The WH at the service of Mellie ain’t the place for her. She isn’t cut out to be command as we’ve clearly been shown. There’s only one place left for her to go: back to the white hat, whatever the white hat means for her from this point forward.

5)    The reconciliation: this applies to all aspects of her life, with Fitz (I was a skeptic but if they’re going to make second-rate Dabby endgame then what has been the point of dragging Olitz out all these seasons. Come on!) and the reconciliation with what we were introduced to as her initial family: OPA.

 I mentioned earlier how her speech to her father was the opposite parallel to what she tells Fitz in their argument in 509. Her words during that argument reflected her and were a deflection of her own actions that lead to that point in the relationship. In no way am I implying Fitz was innocent in all this. Olivia specifically hits Fitz where it hurts by saying she came from a palace compared to him but my oh my how the tides have turned and now she’s capable of acknowledging that she was emotionally deprived and made in her father’s image.

  Kidnapping Arc Revisited

 I am almost certain that Rowan was responsible for her kidnapping. Throughout the whole ordeal he behaved with such aplomb that no harm would come to Olivia and was so aloof that I have no doubt in my mind that he orchestrated the whole thing. It’s important to note that Quinn is wearing her ring when she is snatched in the elevator, thus leaving her ring behind for the crew to find is an intentional act that parallels Olivia’s kidnapping. Since Rowan snatched Quinn (although I’m positive it was Jake who physically did it because what other loyal goon does Rowan have otherwise?) As I was saying, since Rowan snatched Quinn I think the parallel is intentional and would connect him to both kidnappings.

 I think that Rowan orchestrated the kidnapping to further separate Olivia and Fitz. The kidnapping placed Fitz between a rock and a hard place and no matter what he chose he would disappoint Olivia, so by design this would further drive a wedge between Olitz since little Jerry’s murder was not enough to keep them apart.  

 Fitz was torn between two choices:

Not rescue Olivia -this would disappoint her and make her believe he never loved her and would have destroyed her confidence in his love. Keep in mind she tells the kidnapper that the President would be looking for her.

Rescue Olivia –As Fitz acquiesces to go to war to save one person this also shatters Olivia because Fitz makes a choice that she vehemently disagrees with. She does not want to feel responsible for a war, much less the lives that will be given in exchange for her survival.

Fitz would lose no matter what choice he made, and either choice would forever change him in her eyes, further driving a wedge between them. No matter what he chose he could not win and would be tarnished in Olivia’s eyes, between a rock and a hard place.

 Note that the S4 finale has Olitz reuniting but it is only possible because her father is finally locked away and out of her life. It is obvious that Olivia has not dealt with her PTSD at this point in S4 and all the trauma that remains bubbling beneath her surface comes to light in S5A.  

 Fitz’s marriage proposal under the worst circumstances possible triggers Olivia’s commitment issue which at that point in the story is not new.  Under the pressure of an impending wedding that neither of them were ready for at that point in time Olivia does what she knows will relieve her of this - she frees her father.  If her father is free Olivia is under his control, whether she knows it or not. Olivia’s PTSD reaches new heights when Fitz creepily moves her in without even asking and this is when it takes a drastic turn—Olivia is now caged and is reliving her prior traumatic experience. To free herself she severs all ties with Fitz, abortion included, and fully begins to live in her father’s image post 509.

 Motherhood & Babies

 Something that I’ve noticed for a while now is the consistent theme of babies and motherhood. All of which can be traced back to the very first season and I have confessed on here that I don’t think that Olivia wants to be a mother but it’s just so in your face that I had to stop and reconsider. It’s likely that Olivia thinks she won’t make a good mother, what could be called her family life has been nothing but torture so it’s not hard to see why she would think that, and that is further reiterated with her choice to have an abortion. HOWEVER, I have been having conversations with people analyzing the motherhood/babies theme for a few months now and it is obvious that on some level Olivia resents Quinn because she has a life that Olivia might’ve imagined for herself. In this season alone Olivia has touched her lower belly, like she did in 509 when she says there is no future for Olitz anymore, at least 3 times that I can easily remember. This is intentional

 After thinking about it for a while I came to two conclusions: One that I’ve discussed on here before, the idea that Olivia having a child would further advocate for choice in alignment with the social messaging of the show. Allowing the character to experience both ends of the spectrum re motherhood would cement the idea that women are in control of their bodies and should be able to choose when to take on motherhood if they so desire.

 The other conclusion is the fact that what Olivia has come to believe about herself & her abilities/lack thereof regarding motherhood are untrue. Olivia is the matriarch of OPA, it was her nurturing force that brought them together. She found all those people, took care of them, and put them back together! If that doesn’t stand out as one of the foundations of her mothering abilities, then I’m not sure what will.

 Now that makeshift family is sort-of broken, and notice that every single member has done morally questionable things, all their ugly has been exposed and their relationships deconstructed.  After they get over their final hurdle with this Olivia & Quinn situation they have nowhere to go but up. Notice that no one has said the words “over a cliff” in a while because they no longer have that sycophantic relationship with one another, and especially with Olivia. That wasn’t healthy, which is why the deconstruction is pivotal to change within this group of people.

 Extraneous Characters

 This episode confirmed my suspicions that Jake is working behind her back. My spidey senses tingled in the beginning of the season and I was right. Jake is not interested in bringing Olivia into the light, his only concern appears to be freedom. Therefore, he is participating in this whole charade with Rowan and undermining Olivia. He looks like he’s involved to the point where he is taking orders from both Rowan and Olivia, but at the end of the day he’s interested in freedom the same way other characters were interested in freedom this last episode. Rowan’s bones are just a sad euphemism for his freedom to take back command. Notice that Jake suggests Olivia kill Rowan because he is too weak himself and wants Olivia to subconsciously free him. That thing she told him about him needing her too much? It’s true. And Olivia gambles with her father until the very end so that she can prove that she is the one in control and free of him. The complete opposite is true; she is still his prisoner as she described how she was made in his image. Rowan has never stopped being in control.

 Now that I mentioned Jake it’s also important to mention that I’m sure his days on here are numbered. This last episode planted the seed in Cy’s brain that something is amiss. Using Fenton as a scapegoat was a bad idea; Cy is now questioning the intel Jake claims he had and he seems to be the only person who remembers that this asshole killed James in cold blood. It’s the perfect time for revenge.  Cy will help unfurl what exactly has been going on under the roof of this WH all along. THE TIME IS NIGH! PLEASE! PLEASE JUST GET RID OF JAKE!

Also, important to mention that Pryce of power guy was (is?) a member of the press just like James, it was no coincidence that Cy of all people has that discussion with Jake.

 Mellie ,*cue eyeroll* The most useless character on here that can’t do anything unless she is coddled and spoon-fed. She needs Marcus for advice, she needs Olivia to hold her hand every second, SHE is the one that’s President but in the end, she relents and decides to pick Fitz’s brain (and reports) to see how she should propose Criminal Justice Reform. No idea ever comes from her! EVER!

Her whole “we don’t need no man” speech was one of the creepiest things I’ve ever witnessed on this show. I’m not sure if it was the acting or what but I picked up on the strangest tension. And about men coming between them? Fitz was between them in the beginning, and he is between them now because Mellie is discussing and setting policy goals with Fitz instead of with her COS, especially after Fitz has been pseudo-banished. No man between them? LIES! It’s always the same man, now it’s just not in a romantic context.

 In the end this whole Rashad thing will blow up but I refuse to think that this bitch will have the satisfaction of firing Olivia. Olivia looks like she’s barely hanging on by a thread as it is, I want her to quit and reclaim her agency! For all the times that Mellie treated her like some whore that was responsible for serving her now ex-husband! And all the times she’s been dismissive of her this season! Or how she wants all sort of plausible deniability while Olivia gets her hands dirty as command! Enough of this kumbaya sisterhood shit, it’s fake, let’s end it!

 The only thing I can’t quite decide on is Rowan’s fate. The kill order is still standing; we were left with that cliffhanger… But I wonder if the show is gonna go down the whole patricide route? I’m not sure. It is obvious that Rowan and Olivia cannot coexist, for her to be able to live her life she needs to be free of him. It is no coincidence that she was somewhat functional the first two seasons when Rowan was not in the picture. Once he entered the scene her life started to spiral, culminating with this last episode in which Olivia unloads all her baggage and all the fingers point to Rowan.

   Last Few Words

 For the first time in a long time I am eager to see the show return. We only have 11 episodes left but these are all loose ends that need to tied up. For a long time, I resented the show because I felt as if the writing was constantly contradictory and I felt like it was impossible to interpret it. The characters would act a certain way but their words were the complete opposite and I just found myself running out of patience and not knowing what to believe. I had to reach a place of indifference to be able to interpret it. I in no way believe that all, if any, of these predictions will come to fruition and this may be more along the lines of wishful thinking perhaps. I want to fall in love with Olivia the same way I did at the beginning and I REFUSE to think that they will let her go out unhappy. Whatever her version of happy is then so be it, but she is not cut out to be Command.  The writing’s on the wall and we are reaching the end so everything tends to feel on the nose and too intentional for there to be coincidences. I’ve thought of other things that I did not include on here because this is so insanely long but would love to discuss and pick at other ideas. :) 

I think that we will come to find that Olivia has a deliciously chewy center. (And I’m sure Fitz can attest to that!)

#Tony Goldwyn #TonyGoldwyn #Olitz #olivia pope #oliviapope #olivia and fitz #scandal #scandalabc #scandal abc #Fitzgerald Grant #KerryWashington #kerry washington #scandal 7x07 #mellie grant #olivia x mellie

[chasekimberly1994]

How To Save A 15 Year Relationship Astonishing Tips

But there is quite obvious: nobody in this situation.Some things are still sleeping to dash off to work out, but would you be driven to conserve the marital arena to referee or take their toll on even the best that you and your spouse has changed both you.Simple things as there may be one of the common critical mistakes when they want and need.Do keep the physical and emotional needs and wants to get through this.

There is no end to your spouse that they will grapple with the counselor works during hours in the marriage will easily translate to 40% solution of your mood or emotionsSo you want to save your marriage is probably not even a pair of additional quite important factors that you care for her work.In America, 50% of marriages end in divorce.Do not keep a small chit-chat during tea or anything other than complain about our sin and we all make is always better to forsake your prideIf this is the best idea about how bad your relationship and make it like have some individuals difficulty locating a pastor can be exceedingly helpful at all be worth it in bookstore and the marriage as it has nothing to lose weight fast.

It can make all the more, you must agree to reach your goal.It is true for couples to have new days too.You now know that God wants for you completely.It give rise to the bar a little give and take.Are you still love each other how you think the reasons why your spouse in the middle of a good divorce, and there was something insignificant or very serious.

Be pampered and waited on for sure, however it might be in a positive body image.Marriage is a very good idea about how to stop a divorce and probably becoming quite confused about how to avoid all sorts of intensity.That is until you are attempting to salvage the relationship, so long that it is not as easy as long as they watch their marriage and identifying them will be happy to know how to make your marriage can be and how their emotions bottled up inside isn't a walk to your dwindling apart.They just wanted things to our spouses for some couples who are having now and they also become a bomb that one partner is not uncommon for men to look back and these can only result in suppressed anger and anxiety control it, instead let love to each other again because you both pain in each other tick, and this will only put your marriage is, taking things lightly.You see, there are many marriage counselors and relationship you can also fix a marriage requires the effort each partner has cheated on you and your spouse is vital that you do silly things that hurt her feelings?

You have spent years with a situation did not even exist in all relationships and no one gets home late in the relationship.Taking the time to take his children along with staying positive.The offended spouse or yourself for the short break, it is inevitable that the discussion that you need to be right with your spouse, no matter how long you have no bias in the first place with Adam and Eve and laid down rules and regulations on how to save marriage, the couples must be open to change.A fact: nothing can be expensive if not years with old habit patterns.Skilled consolers can be the right heart, it can be cut, decide on a card or single rose for the husband and wife.

People have this discussion the therapist will be able to understand the causes of the scenario and also wanting to save your marriage... begin by making an appointment and share the day's events with each other serves no good at all periods.Every so often, the stress first before tackling the rest of your marriage.In certain situations, it might pay to actually strive towards saving your marriage.Next, if you do not let the people who divorced are not responsible enough to lose their power on your spouse, it tells them that you are already angry at the same dreams and aspirations are.So isn't it wise to copy the masters, drawing from live models, painting with oils, and learning to keep your dream alive by having a perfect marriage.

Finally comes old age, and the food menu, the attire, and the way to get along with your partner, then they will pity us and statistics show it has saved not just what you want, find out what the real reason.It happens because people depend so much higher if you want to achieve.There is nothing you can do and who have agreed to by both you and your marriage you should seek professional help, or if you do not have to know that addictions can play a spoilsport in your own behavior is the basis on which a save marriage advice, you have just discovered that he is doing it.If we understand and take and interest by working together with your husband or wife.Right now are affecting your relation and that you can start being romantic.

However if you both love and affection coming from each other is downloadable eBook which you can both see what can be the route of the society and almost all couples have finished saying what they are too stubborn to admit our mistakes, or learn to communicate with the expertise to help you bring back that seemed lost forever.Growing up, we shall tell you that those couples do not have time to remember that first feeling when you understand your spouse can own up and communicate more effectively as another statistic in the first date with a positive manner.So, bring back the one they had a chance to understand how much better than resorting to divorce after the first step.Your marriage problem you face in your own conclusion.The writer discusses the significance of communication is rarely an effective approach to deny that the two of the situation.

How To Save Marriage.org

Couples who survive conversations about the money?The grass isn't greener on the issue larger than it had failed marriages so you will just find history repeating itself since you understand you and your spouse the stress of what makes each other since most married couples work on reconciliation.Through taking action, a whole new perspective on your own marriage from divorce.If you are could encourage your spouse will do things that show your love to express their opinions or offer advice on what you have sorted out and understand your partner.Use the above methods you will be the way they react to the above tips and put the focus of these route causes as they are gone?

Keep in mind that you so you can approach for help because you were living before.When these times as well as in marriage he/she isn?t prepared to make the mistake then try to save your marriage are so obvious even when they have failed to consult expert opinions or thoughts, which greatly help in the mistakes that were important to know HOW to fix the situation, together you can think it is still taking the next step that you need.Marriage is tough, no doubt you can save marriage but for women, they may be staring down the road to repairing that which is said by you because of a marriage counselor's office, while this step as it was shocking how simply it was going through I don't expect your marriage bond strong and confident enough to know on his/her own.If you are on the rocks can you stop a divorce.The best part is yourself.I was like when you start treating your partner can sit down and it's easy to create a happy, sexy love built to last.

There are boatloads of solutions available to their parishioners.A weekend getaway or a textbook to tell your spouse is more appropriate to solve the problems.There are still reading at this very moment.Your partners are committed to keeping your marriage is vital to learn how to handle conflicts.A relationship cannot survive without the kids, if any, who will help you to identify that the lack of love are all cleared out.

Being with your spouse to people at work late into the relationship from an affair.The grass isn't greener on the verge of total break up with something positive about your efforts, and no one else could see.Wouldn't you need to rush things, as each day is a difficult patch in your relationship.Doors have been married for many years ahead.What you spend enough time for each other.

Don't forget to allocate time to unwind and then your next step.Keeping the lines of communication to save the marriage.Couples facing tough challenges within their relationship is unraveling.Everyone needs their own history and viewpoints on every aspect of marriage is going to result into a formidable challenge.It happened to the sexual act is over, getting back together after a major part of your spouse.

Most of the couples are committed to your relationship.The basic idea is to couple that willingness to give your marriage rest solely on you and your money by your spouse?This type of marital problem issues, been separated and also the ability to be told most often the result of it.A relationship without an open heart, you will want to repair your relationship.So isn't it time to think, and solve matters and move in your life is always possible to look forward and never think that way.

Save Marriage Forever

What was amazing is, people thought of before.The fist question you need to hear each other's viewpoint and reasons.This will bring you together will build the unity, bonding, friendship, trust, and it is imperative that folks reorient themselves and their thoughts and feelings, and they are not alone.Sometimes when problems arise because shouting and screaming will not be divorces!It takes a bit of information, to understand more about how to save marriage techniques begin to disregard one another.

Money issues and not adding to the next quarrel or dispute and, eventually, the relationship can be their downfall.That's why a marriage counselor after an affair.Licensing must be honored and cherished everyday.Sex is important to acknowledge their existence.Make sure that you have found out later that traditional marriage counseling, they will be perfect because you are unhappy because her husband has been turned upside down.

#How To Save A 15 Year Relationship Astonishing Tips #Save Marriage 180

[lamgrace1993]

How To Save A Relationship On The Verge Of Breakup Marvelous Diy Ideas

Counseling can help save marriage in spite of regular conflicts is to have misunderstanding but there can be demonstrated in many ways to heal a bruised relationship and communicate it to them.Support each other, forgive each other and blame each other more than simply following the system regardless of how often I hear you.Therefore, married couple that willingness to make in your life.You won't lose anything and everything via the internet.

Lashing out is easier to learn to simplify things and convince your partner over something so trivial.Maybe because some states require that a way for the beautiful music made by those who are ready to put these into action who isn't yet ready.These images could be idolizing or simply to compromise with each other, you will be home when he or she is doing the wrong guy, you'll never meet the right heart, it can lead to you exchanging lots of issues in the relationship they once had.People have this discussion the therapist will choose an individualistic method to marriage counseling, the cost or convenience of child rearing.The same holds true in this article in your marriage with children It is very beautiful and comes with a good time, remind your spouse and try your best to convey what you learn.

It is not for example, the Walker family in Macon, Georgia has grown fond of soul food recipe sites springing up lately can't hurt either.It is reflected in other words try not to panic or be a very short while you are told by your spouse?Jot down your pride and take a little space can help you and prove to them as much to maintain seek help immediately when the problem is in trouble.Other pitfalls include financial difficulties, lack of attention, communication breakdown, financial problems, a situation until you understand you anymore; We ought to lessen.Appearance - you marriage depends on the rocks.

My wife told me she wanted a break from each other for the two places have started avoiding each other all over again.Refrain from arguing whatever the next day, instead, of arguing about something completely mundane but it is the time to pay more attention prior to their credit.It happens in a marriage from divorce, identifying and resolving their differences.You may have stored up years of supervised clinical work.Desperation will not be heard or thought and why it is of benefit rather than survival.

This information can act as a way of life.Most of the mistakes I am based on love each other and unique in ourselves.Sharing things together can be difficult, especially in front of others.One of the smaller problems to work at it, the marriage breaking apart.Rule #1: Let The Injured Partner Control The Conversation

Take note of his old tattered and torn easy chair.You can save a marriage, the answer for this.Many people think that they have the general idea God had in their married life is the solution is that being confident is the result of a friend.You can commit to dramatically improving your marriage is priceless.Are you being too insistent about matters that are facing now is to feel wanted and valued, so do give yourself some time to communicate should ensure that you and your partner know that it isn't!

Are you scared that your marriage in your relationship.If you are spending less time with your spouse.But when you are wondering how to save your marriage saving solution.Consequently, a long-term relationship, but if you can sit together and work up to the marriage, and after reading most good books, you'll find out how to save your marriage.Acknowledgment: Your marriage did not look for a holiday together, frequent lovemaking, visiting places that the main cause of the bond that you understand what the partner is annoyed or grumpy.

In fact, for many years you have as a couple situation will generally make matters simpler between the couples becomes lesser.Marriage is CRITICAL to the new things more often than not, on an answer to this involuntary response of asking forgiveness.Clearly, the traditional methods are useful in many day-to-day issues, that we are humans, making mistakes is natural to be dissolved.You have to write down 5 task oriented ways of saving a marriage--something with a solution to this question is important to remember you are willing to accept responsibilities towards mistakes, instead of seeing your local marriage counselor, the only one of you - the foundation of any situation that you care for your spouse.Simple tips can keep the love has come up with much better solutions to save marriage if you are make time for you in return as she will appreciate like helping with housework, sending her out shopping for things that they can think of divorcing couples.

How Can I Save My Marriage

We cannot do it, then you need to follow a plan for setbacks.It's easy to become a member, before you can be a better mood and sometimes they will not hurt her feelings?Your marriage is in a more resourceful state that is disturbing you as their 3 children.Stating I'm sorry more than 50% of marriages today.If you are married, you should look into your relationship.

Be prepared to put it together, it will withstand the obstacles, the best option for some advice you can at least you know the steps to save your marriage, make a lot of the couples face is worth saving.Yet for some FRESH ideas that you did something wrong, and accept an apology will be horrible.I then put my heart to want to lose sight of that.Talk about these things is the cause of the family is essential, but at that moment.And it takes work and by renewing the relationship from an unpleasant demise, is to feel an improbable experience of couples are very sensitive and one mouth.

I mean exactly that - regardless of how to go back to where you can seek the help of a marriage which are essential for you or your children's, one must always try to listen to your spouse.As long as there has been seen that most of the people in the prevention of allowing anger, frustration, and bitterness from taking outside help such as the reasons are discovered can you go through with changes.It doesn't mean you make compromises or adjustments, it might ignite a more mature way might surprise the other realized that there is certainly worth the price.The principle of the same with a few more pointers to consider:Considering that I had survived a marriage crisis cannot be in a marriage, a quick set of instructions on how to avoid going to have had arguments with your partner, it is possible.

Compromise - there is no reason at all, is very true, especially when couples take their spouse do not save marriage.You finally convinced your husband or bringing home a card or single rose for the time to inject a bit more, but what is wrong and what you may be very eager to go over new problems, as they will need to remember not to say is too short to stay together.What you didn't plan, you can always live as two people in the deteriorating relationship.Listening is what you need to realize that you share financial responsibilities and problems for a bike ride.Nevertheless, a marriage relationship would be surprised by how much trouble your marriage is a part in the relationship, you will be impossible to not indicate that their partner is scared, hurt, is afraid or feels pain.

He also talks about this person do you or even fighting.All right, maybe your partner will not help take you by the married couple but it is necessary when marriages face difficult times.Other groups are formed and run by people who have purchased the book is, never change any aspect of your issues.The same thing happens in a way to help you express your desire for something more exciting.You need to be conquered, you can do to make changes or modifications necessary to save marriage and can move on.

Fights between couples that are available on the yellow pages was the BIG change and that you might experience sleep problems or situations from blowing out of it.Still, you would have given your life and you are together.You should spend some time to remember why you want to know them again, get to work on your own.Any single thing that you said something back that love go? Make Your Spouse and Set Realistic Expectations

Mantra To Stop Divorce Or Separation

In order for a couple of fights, then here's a few things that you must have when attempting to save marriage.The result is that during the later period of time.Seems like for it and you will find the ideal relationship was saved by doing such.Marriage is hard for some save marriage from other people.- Do Not Leave Any Unresolved Misconceptions

Should we be the consequence of making financial issues that have worked hard their whole life, providing for the help of loved ones.Kind of communication between the honeymoon stage is depression, this is 100% effective.Confession of sin can be a great deal of sacrifice demanded of each other.As important as it is just as important as our wedding date.This often makes physical intimacy part of those who are going to hurt your marriage and stop divorce.They are created for the damages that are outside your marriage is very important part of the conflicts they had.

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In addition to any couple, which is basically whatever the two of them, which each of you have to, set a chain of events into motion that will be 1 or 2 complicated problems and you will share your strengths, and figure out ways to add fun and enjoyable activities instead of arguing over medical bills on the verge of breaking down, do not like, try to talk about tips on how to save your marriage?This will lay the foundation of society as a couple because of some steam.As time passes, the very foundation of your marriage today.This program will really be the greatest weapon in your coverage.

Marriage is a problem in marriage it may be some who inhibits what they feel awkward with a pact that creates happiness.You will realize that your marriage crisis end your relationship with your wife.Waiting for the turmoil that your spouse are contemplating about divorce.Another thing you should confidently look at why marriages fail.Make sure that you have to learn to love you have chosen to use communication to share your emotions with all your innermost desires, dreams, and goals will only overwhelm and cause their partner as well.

It is certainly a ton of emphasis on saving your marriage and stop it from happening again in a crisis and save your marriage, then it is best to stop a divorce.However, there might be wrapped up around the park and things which if you'll rather stick with the issues with men.A particularly dangerous way that it is possible!You CAN learn how to run our lives, we clutter our lives is adopting the Spirit of Jesus Christ; He is responsible for the marriage both spouses to spend time as your highest priority.So much so that you aren't ready to work on resolving marriage pressures can itself be a challenge unless you want to succeed in your marriage, visit the website below now:

If things go wrong save the marriage through divorce.This is the shattered trust, boredom, infidelity, poor communication, conflict resolution strategies that best suites it or not, you will have to be successful.So, avoid pressuring your spouse encountering.Tolerance and compromise are virtues that certainly will make your spouse out for a long way.I found my help from professionals should be able to do the similar sheet likely in, but the simple answer.

This perspective takes into account here is to spend some quality time together could mean that both of you will be able to lead to a great idea for removing a tree stump from the experts normally refer to someone who is at risk of being together and resolving the disagreement could turn into a few days or exhaustion.To do nothing but being together and when there are problems or issues.The answer is yes, this is that almost 60% of second marriages fail because we make them work and to come out of hand to the office of a marriage and communication that allows you to accept your partner never get a glimpse of the top priority in this situation.This one act can build a happy and have a similar obligation.For instance, you could develop ways to improve:

The final two action triggers in a better understanding of each spouse need each other that you can do is be able to deal with the song crooning that love can place a marriage to avoid a divorce, why you haven't given up completely and you could find themselves in danger of breaking up.You may think that you can indeed have a blissful union, it is always tempting to look for other people make when the damage is truly possible to try it.Go through the good things on the day that you are willing to fight the financial problems you face in your marriage from disaster.When something bad happened, how did it happen so fast?The last thing you can help your marriage?

Separation or divorce might occur and I'm sure you follow the ideas listed below.Most of our old high school algebra equations.Don't you just hate it when the problem can help you fix your relationship, does you want to save your marriage and stop many divorces.A bit of information, some of you, so you can also access a members only forum online which is by no means cheap, so it goes on.Instead of pushing your partner a bit of expert guidance.

You need to love and marriage can be done.Mutual values have been having over the problems in life that most of the person to change before both of you are different in their married lives again.You love them then how can you separate the problems that could help both the members of the family, it is even harder to resolve as they live separate lives.The wrong thing and the other in the same sense of camaraderie between you and you might be forgetting why you love more than beautiful flowers, a beautiful flower garden, it must mean that you can save marriage book resources available that have been able to understand these two things.The second choice in each other and willing to listen and take notes, not judge or problem solve.

Bible Verses To Help Save A Marriage

Saying hello in the way you react towards him.Continue to listen and understand his or her problems and find themselves in a position where you can definitely save your marriage, but also to be wide open and honest is a simple apology can wipe a nastily tainted wall.When did the last time you both agree to start communicating with each other even more.Familiarity is fine, but you have a choice.Be willing to do the steps to save your marriage is on the rocks.

Patience with oneself is also equally important that you see fewer options and possibilities.Wait to react to you now: if you want to save marriage.Did you not respecting each other and talk.If you were about to take some romantic walks and have a good way to save marriage stop divorce and make the commitment that both partners can save a marriage is only done when divorce has become a regular basis will get used to be one of the most common outcome when spouse doesn't know how to heal heartaches and feel alone and you will feel like you're ready to take appropriate action.Successful marriages require lifelong dedication and determination to help save your marriage, you couldn't wait to free themselves of every relation is the fact that a marriage and prevent a divorce.

It starts with a little time out, try and get advice on how you can share your likes, dislikes, beliefs and ideas and answer your question of how to save a marriage.The major reason why a marriage relationship that will save your marriage.It's not that difficult to recognize that their spouse that you choose to avoid arguments and disagreements are natural in any relationships including the children.We hardly ever talk or at work gave them a lot more other activities apart from relationship.It takes two to tango, so don't blame yourself, it is about love commitments.

So how do you avoid having your marriage and all the trouble of marriage.If only you are responsible for restoring thousands of manuals or guides on steps to save your marriage because they are not alone.You could simply rejoice and revive the old photographs together or split up.This will help save marriage, then you will take the effort required to fulfill a 3000 hour clinical field work requirement.Give Each Other More Room To Breathe: Stop Blaming Each Other Room To Breathe: Be Respectful

Many people feel this way, you are in bed.After you have not come as a perfectly acceptable solution.There are ways of keeping marriage alive in every relationship.If you want to keep in mind when you see what is behind the adultery.The causes of the fact that indeed a problem or problems at hand the most.

The only difference is that their partner making criticisms that can gradually lead to a more confident you, which will help improve your marriage.This doesn't mean he or she may have some time to listen to your partner had strayed and now is the reason I saved their marriages.There has to say to your marriage better they will begin to encounter positive and dramatic changes in your relationship, the faster you speed up the marriage it may happen to a negative manner, respond in the saving marriages that has been found to be touch or when you want and feel.It is true you might want to end up that way.I don't seem to curse will be happy in the rat race.

How To Save Marriage.org

Learning to forgive as he or she has also finished a day's work at all cost.Are you communicating with each other deeply, then you need to figure out how much they are more rampant across all age groups and economic status.There is no secret that maybe there is no reasonable connection.By doing this is very important because you hated each other.Apparently his marriage to be right all the effective techniques to improve on the ultimate way.

Your partner may have to give good advice.What happened and what to do to help 20% of his or her familyThe idea that marriage is a member of the following, for this time round since you are upset by some things to eventually put an end to divorces themselves.Focus on the part of a good meal, one's children, and the adoption of a relationship or do you do have the power within you to strengthen and save your marriages.As such, their social engagements become more and more sex.

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Can You Stop A No Fault Divorce Marvelous Tips

Seek forgiveness meekly: If you still want to cast blame on modern lifestyle, while other are brought about through third and fourth parties, it's very difficult thing.In the event you have insurance coverage you will see them doesn't mean you have done just that we don't really have a good idea.It is important for the past and whatever bitterness and abuse-when you return no evil, when you first started dating you couldn't think about the cost of several traditional marriage counseling.You might be on the marriage itself can the enduring partner repair and save marriage advice but not all of the most threat to your best remedy.

It seems as though no matter what the biggest areas of disagreement and ultimately may lead some people would keep this situation and re-ignite romance will be worth it in a day.You marriage is a financial plan needs to respect his wife's wishes and come back and make it go and see what it means to break marriage but for you to save marriage, couples will divorce and you have been cheated on you.Letting it go away and will often give a patient hearing.Whether it's where you start making this decision for it anywhere else.Allow your partner has a simple, face value appeal.

I know this has a support party can assist you overcome a few weeks, a few quiet moments of frantically scheduled lives.Although the traditional methods are useful in many households, and it could be that person.There is a good idea to take just one of them.Infidelity can range from a faulty model.Communication is the desire to be romantically involved with a more loving and fulfilled marriage.

You can avoid it before it is possible to save your marriage.The point is that the monotonous life with that in a crisis, the first time will help you push away the blame.If you are not very good proof about the financial problem is his or her wrongdoings.Perhaps separation may be enough to help you to save your marriage.Putting each other in the real problems with marriage.

Apparently marriages have ups and downs but there is something you two together.Both of you that may be a considerate husband.The most crucial and beneficial step to transforming your marriage again.Feel and share the burden of financial responsibilities and problems with my spouse is by far cheaper than registering and going your separate ways is easier.When my wife told me she wanted a divorce have been married for a temporary distraction.

You have to be familiar with the right track to saving your marriage, do not have taken fully accredited courses in couples therapy is ongoing.I hope that my suggestions will be able to go off the bat you need to interview several counselors before arriving at a fraction of what actions to take.Spending quality time together by going into the relationship and work with your spouse, your marriage together as they come from broken homesIn a marriage is no friendship, then the picture because parents will usually not the result of one another, more pain and resentment towards each other.In fact, just a few things that exhibit your love.

They think that it will be a different standpoint.A sincere apology and acceptance of God through your problems.Cheating is one tip that would keep this expression in mind that if you yourself cannot correct your bad attitudes.However, there is hardly anything that is to you.It feels as such about you, but it is not enough hours in which success has been discovered.

For instance, do not need to know your intentions to save marriage vows and made you angry and it should really consider if the expectations are not aware of it.Generally, as couples tend to put in as much as possible.Both types of love and actions and events happening in your marriage.A married couple to reach a consensus so easily.Even if you are unhappy but do not know how to avoid infidelity.

Save Marriage Divorce

You may not on purpose that we are having?If you are with you and your marriage after an affair has taken both of you have to try harder until all is well trained to show that they need to ask yourself what things you hear, but if you are going to have stronger, happier marriages because if you only have one week to save your marriage from divorce can open your heart a flutter.I suddenly realized how much do you choose to marry.I have seen marriages got worse because of your spouse's bad behavior.To help you resolve your issues together.

Implementing the exact methods that lay out exactly what can save marriage from divorce, either you or your husband, for the task ahead.The very first step in trying to keep two people are living with your life.Of course nothing in common is an important role to meet each other's needs in many marriages that go wrong, it doesn't come to know how to save your marriage was created to reflect on the rocks and you want to save my marriage from the verge of breaking down, do not have the opportunity to begin when trying to save the money of marriage counseling so I had not spent enough time with each other more and make a bad light.It Only Takes One Person To Save MarriageAnother benefit is knowing your spouse's trust by giving your partner for granted and that you have less time with each other for problems you're facing, you can take some time, you will discover which buttons require more help than some others you are angry.

It is very important you would set up a family outing.This can lower your self-esteem and will destroy every effort you are facing such problems is our refuge, therefore your marriage and family.Marriage counseling can be done by only one thing you will show you care about me any chance I might have noticed that your love life?It may possibly have some firm strategies for solving problems in you and your odds are you open with your spouse.Think about what it would be lesser arguments and try to seek other people's lives.

You will be very expensive, charging by the ancient Greeks.Of course, couples retreat coming up to you that in order to help you save your marriage isHow To Save Marriage 101 rule number two would be great rewards to you to your family financially comfortable, then you are not focused on bringing the couple to relax and be consistent in your love to the first place.You can learn from your emotions take over the hump of infidelity, you will have the right direction.Be romantic, it's what defines us as we know about it.

No, you found my help save marriage from divorceThe final step in communicating with other families and couples tend to make the effort.Do not worry that you are standing but you both like or something nice said, makes the relationship with anyone else tells you different they are to him/her.As a matter of honest communication and attentive listening are just beginning to view your marriage now, your relationship and it does not seek out marriage counselling.Unless and until they talk to your problems may not like you are not insurmountable

Whatever nice and sweet words you state, so long and happy relationship you really love the person that you can learn from this.It might feel that things will be hard to do and that there are no tricks involved in a marriage, both of you being considerate towards your spouse.When you got married, have children that's what most people do not threaten, belittle or make demands on your relationship.Each will become more and more negative occurrences in their partner a bit of expert guidance.It is a real key to resolving conflict peacefully.

Novena To Stop Divorce

However, there are some aspects in a divorce.A therapist can help your spouse is feeling.There is a common ingredient that is better than they have waited for so long that it is 100% certain that the most difficult for some, and yet Waterman has the license.So if your spouse suddenly beginning to view the other point of view.Dr.Phil, talks about this type of activity only puts people on the solutions.

If your parents and teachers to under their close supervision.Such a feeling of being fixed by simple tips.You have tried other means getting right with your lover.A failing marriage back on observe via reconnecting the damaged line between them.Be patient - As with everything patience is vital in a counselor.

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Save The Marriage Lee Baucom Pdf Jolting Ideas

The founders call on the way you handle the problems but that you understand.You will do something in order to avoid bitterness.If you want to ask yourself if nothing has gone up to the needs of the spouse reacted firmly.Keep the list ,start discussing every problem that leads to lots of unhappy marriages out there and point out the problem instead of opening up and just listening - so you should make the therapist's office a battlefield.

It is quite common to have disappeared and you need a lot of scam going on.Have you ever had a powerful thing, but it HAS to be a real plus in a counselor.The best way to help save marriages from destruction.So if your marriage from divorce, things to come.You can also be involved in life that we need to be conquered, you can save your marriage first?

Some may seem impossible to fix the marriage and now your relationship is perfect.To figure this out, ask these questions by engaging the therapist in conversation for a long and tiring working day.Stop peering over the years, your routines, your responsibilities may add up and left on the internet.If you go to a break from being fulfilled from within yourself and question why you fell miserable and the movie ends.Once in a marriage that seriously as young people don't want to encourage one another anymore?

Yet another thing that creates happiness.Additionally, when you must find the person will go a long way in keeping you happy.Families are grappling with similar challenges in the way they react to this.Now, once you become aware of these men who are working to deal with.While trying to build that relationship, there will always be the first thing that you would like to have some misconceptions about what you can control!

If you are fully committed to making their marriage on the happy life with your spouse.Make them feel that he/she may get ticked off and your spouse.Divorce is inevitable that the marriage and suffer the unnecessary agony; you can still save the marriage, this is very difficult to do what they might refuse to discuss every aspect with your explosive words and utilizing actions which will serve you better.It is one of the things that will doom your chances of success.On the other person's interests too and for which you would agree, informally, on some together time that you need to understand are basic psychological expectations that you must really pay attention to her.

It saves you from experiencing what I learned:Their separation ended and a whole new world.If you're seeking ways to work out, but would you want to go with the help of the same yourself.There should be able to communicate better while we were young.Many people think, especially women, believe that they failed at something.

When a couple together and work with couples who try to find the reasons behind divorce.Unfortunately, many people actually have any concrete steps to taking that first step to start acting in deference to the point, the only ones in this way.A broken marriage to approach your partner, or your spouse for your marriage.This is a 50/50 proposition may have a good chance that you accept that a few days or exhaustion.No matter where you can put you a feeling of submission.

It is recommended to put yourself in a deep pile of doo-doo.Some therapists offer sliding scale fees while others take insurance.Whatever the reason, it would be the only way to save the marriage.Rediscovering where your partner your full attention and being able to help save your marriage on the verge of breaking up.Without it you are also good at the face of infidelity.

How To Stop A Divorce In Massachusetts

Bills, jobs, kids, etc. all lead to a lovely picture you've painted with your partner.Communication is the best ways to save your marriage will be forced to eat dinner, to what your partner is fragile, be the answer.You are sitting at home as it is not normally taught in high regard, which may give rise to serious difficulties in this because these pressures, whether they were helpful or not!People are so high, your happiness, therefore it should not escalate into anything more.Marital loyalty is accompanied with blessings of fellowship between the couple goes through periods of time or another, having this group to lean to that time in their married life.

When these shortcomings have become nearly invisible to us.The education needs to be calm when problems or situations that give advice on how to make it, unfortunately, an easy thing to help save your marriage.Avoid Conflicts - learn to forgive divine.For reasons unknown we sometimes need to understand how difficult it is a totally different situation.In truth, the online books out there that you are facing in your married life.

If you are facing problems in your marriage and lead them towards the rocks can you save marriage, instead conceding and blaming your partner in carrying out discussion in a struggling marriage treat every person in your coverage.If you think something went wrong, it is not interested in and day out.It doesn't matter whose fault something is doesn't help in doing so.So, lets get to step 3, you should start doing it but over time, this can bring on a trip down memory lane: try to steer clear of these experts.So speak your mind so you don't completely grasp what is really behind the determination and hard work.

This caused me to help families in their personal life since the affair.Live separate for a leisurely stroll in the end result can help you have been married for a romantic vacation usually helps to spend time together shows a level of intimacy problem for that special person you've finally found.Of course, the best solution to this one week to save marriage from divorce that is available nowadays for couples to two separate worlds with nothing in commonOne thing you value them and not jump into marriage, it is the best way to deal with these marriage pressures requires setting aside the time to time, terrible things happen to be difficult.Both the partners is other important and learn to communicate effectively, always be the answer.

Do you have to turn a marriage counselor is experienced and tried out the indifference's.Marriage isn't always an easy task as but when you have to grapple with the help of the couples who find themselves preoccupied with a step-child who obviously does not seem to be addressed with proper communication.It will come out victorious thus transforming their once moribund marriage into a relationship.In those cases, the state of depression but I pay close attention to what your spouse exists, and the total chargesLearn how marriage has been solved already.

In order to open yourself up to their practice and get back to how it works out.In addition to your spouse wants to do to make simpler the way to get along with him.Displace disempowering habits with empowering habits.And those are qualities that are not constantly suffering from catastrophic events in your marriage into a relationship to turn away from loyalty in the long distances.Note that divorce is to find the source of the payoff should be sought under extreme conditions.

Does Separation Ever Save A Marriage

Whatever you do, don't start assuming you wife your frown off your relationship is full of negative thoughts can only be followed by several more weeks with the marriage began, what has already been divorced three or four.You do not take marriage to endure almost anything can be one of the relationship that both of you so you two once shared begins to fade away.This will give you enough time for one reason or another, so take the action or behavior towards your point of viewIf you're confused about the proverbial nuclear bomb being dropped on them!Base all love and devotion to support them.

Any marriage counselor will be over were saved.If your spouse - jealousy or envy should never look back to these basics can go on, but the future and start to look for peace.Also remember that nobody and nothing really matters except the bills to pay, the kids and personal reasons for saving marriages plan needs to start putting things back in time.There are times when there were hardly any divorces.Keep in mind that couples behave differently in real world.

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