#my parents’ anniversary is next week and they are not getting anything other than a 1 line ‘congrats’ in the whatsapp group chat | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

The total number of visits Tumblr.com received during January 2021 is 327 million.

#my parents’ anniversary is next week and they are not getting anything other than a 1 line ‘congrats’ in the whatsapp group chat

hauntedrain · 3 months

Text

For Years! | Max Verstappen x Reader |

Social media AU Summary: Max and reader get criticism over the status of their relationship.

✮▹ A/N: So sorry for not posting for so long. Life has been BUSY. but hopefully i can post more and write more! Love you guys <3

✰▹Warnings/Notices: Not edited. nothing really. reader mentioned to write music

Liked by Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, & 3,345,678 others

@Y/N: Lovely time lately.

view all 19,234 comments

user1: LMFAO MAX.

user2: Y/N you'll always been iconic

user3: sometimes I forget Max Verstappen is dating THE Y/N L/N.

↪ user4: SO TRUE. It completely passes my mind that they've been together before he even got to F1.

↪ user5: THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 9 YEARS?

↪ user6: YEA ITS WILD.

↪ user7: wait but they haven't gotten married or anything?

↪ user8: Yea no. They also avoid the questions around it. Kind of weird to me.

↪ user9: But hasn't Y/N written songs about marriage and getting married? Why haven't they?

↪ user10: Maybe they just don't want to. Or max doesn't.

MaxVerstappen: Why did you choose that photo of me.

↪ Y/N: You want me to post the photo from yesterday?

↪ MaxVerstappen: NO.

↪ user11: LMFAO. PARENTS.

Liked by Y/N, Redbull, & 2,345,567 others

@MaxVerstappen: Great race and great win! Getting ready for next week. And thank you to @Y/N for making me but those glasses, best purchase.

View all 14,567 comments

Y/N: I told you they were a good investment

↪ MaxVerstappen: I don't know if you would call it an investment.

↪ Y/N: I'll post that picture.

↪MaxVerstappen: It was a great investment! better than a house!

↪ user12: better than a ring?

↪ user13: STOP. but no fr, wheres the ring Max?

user14: Okay nice win but when yall getting married?

user15: everyone needs to mind their business, maybe they're just not ready to get married and that okay.

↪ user16: But its been 9 YEARS. NINE YEARS. Its a red flag.

liked by 18,234 others

@F1GOSSIP: Max Verstappen and Y/N L/N have been criticized over the status of their relationship. The couple has been together for over 9 years however many fans have realized that there's been no movement in the relationship, family and marriage vise. Thought?

view all 5,567 comments

user17: I mean its their life but 9 years?

user18: Idk guys don't hate me but sometimes max doesn't seem interested in Y/N. Like all of the Monaco GP? seem happy around her.

↪ user19: Bro look at the pictures in the post. Does he seem unhappy in them? No he seems very happy.

↪ user20: Okay but lets be honest. Both only seem that happy in front of a camera.

User21: I mean for some of their relationship they were fairly young. Maybe they just wanna enjoy it little by little.

↪ user22: I think in 9 years you can enjoy a lot.

user23: I wouldn't marry her either. Max knows what's best which is why he hasn't done it.

Y/N has posted to their story!

liked by 6,678,567 others

@MaxVerstappen: happy 3 year anniversary @Y/N. love you much and cant wait for years to come. Also, people said I hated her? How could I?

view all 35,567,878 comments

Y/N: Guys my husband is kinda cool.

↪ MaxVerstappen: Kinda?

↪ Y/N: yea cuz im cooler than you.

↪ MaxVerstappen: Okay love.

user24: WTF 3 YEARS?

user25: max said hold my 3x WDC titles while I make everyone shut up about my relationship.

↪ Y/N: He just wins everything doesn't he?

↪ CharlesLeclerc: Yea its kinda annoying. you should distract him Y/N

↪ MaxVerstappen: Dont tell my wife to distract me, I'll lose.

↪ CharlesLeclerc: thats the point.

↪ LandoNorris: I just wanna win.

↪ user26: LMFAO WHAT IS HAPPENING

↪ Y/N: Im collecting them all

User27: And people said max didnt wanna marry her.

user28: Bro just keeps winning doesnt he. Y/N GIVE ME A CHANCE.

user29: if you look closely you can see me getting run over by an F1 car.

⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: I hope you guys like it! I need to post more but ive gotten so busy and haven't had the time. But I'll try to post more often. Love you guys! hope you enjoyed.

2K notes · View notes

spideysbruh · 5 months

Text

Thank You GQ

a/n- the lil ~ means a passage of time

liked by florencepugh, y/n and 892,339 others

tchalamet GQ.

view all 371,728 comments

tstan your shoots are always the best

GQ let's do it again some time mr. chalamet

y/n oh my

timmylaurie he's so cute omg

liked by tchalamet and 170,383 others

y/n what's everyone asking for from santa?

view all 15,383 comments

timmytimstan omg t liked

yourfriend what are you getting me for christmas 🤭

y/n literally no clue ❤️

tchalamet a vinyl record would be nice

y/n liked

y/n 🤔

timmytimstan omg t commented !

timmysgf who is she ??

tchalamet oh wow.

kylesballs not him simping for a random insta model publicly LMAOO

timotheeandall y/n is NOT an instagram model omggg 💀

@y/n tweeted: need. need so bad

@sinusandsocks replied- me too girl 💀💀

@lauriesarmpit replied- no way the first tweet I see of hers is ab timmy 😭😭💀💀

@tsgf replied- how do you know it's about him?

@ynsleftear replied- trust me, she's been like this for a while 💀💀 she stays shooting her shot!!

liked by tchalamet, yourfriend, rachelzegler and 243,827

y/n honeymoon fades

view all 32,817 comments

sabrinacarpenter caption. i love you.

y/n liked

ynstan BEAUTIFUL GIRL

tchalamet need.

y/n liked

chalametgirl BYEEEE LMAOOOOO

tchalamet oh my.

rachelzegler absolutely gorgeous. when are we hanging out 🥺🥺

y/n im free next week <3 let me dm you w my schedule LMAOO we need to have a sleepover again I got so much to tell you

rachelzegler omg this is happening ill see you next week love

~~~

tchalamet just posted a story!

@y/n tweeted: the average person was never meant to have this much lore.

@realchalamet liked and retweeted

@ynsblanket replied- oh god what happened girl

@ynandtimschild replied- you're literally dating timothee chalamet it's okay 😩😩🙏🏼

@y/n replied- exactly!!! life is crazy.

@realchalamet liked

@timoatreides replied- wait what💀💀

@realchalamet tweeted: life IS crazy

@paulswhore replied- BROOOO !?!?!!!

@ynsgf replied- HELPP!?!?!!! at 2am is crazy

~~~

liked by tchalamet, dylanminnette, haileesteinfeld and 1,937,727 others liked

y/n two years. you've dealt with every part of me and you're still here with me. I love you more than anything my silly boy. I'll always remember the GQ issue that finally gave me the courage to dm you 💀💀

view all 123,732 comments

tchalamet ohhhh THATS why its framed in our place 🤔🤔

y/n but also cause im so proud of you 😍things can have two meanings 🫶

paulsdune TWO YEARS ?!?!!! it took yall forever to make it official huh

y/n you're telling me...

tchalamet thank god for GQ cause i was too scared to dm you myself 💀💀

y/n liked

lauriesyn NO WAYYYY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YALLL

kyleshair literally my parents omg

timosbirthmark tbh it's good they waited a while to actually date, people be so quick to jump into relationships LMAOO

rachelzegler our double dates are some of my favorite memories

y/n same we gotta do it again

mariastory timothee and josh being friends omg

liked by y/n, zendaya, madisonbeer and 3,827,727

tchalamet thank you once again GQ. i think i'm much more mature this time around. and thank you for getting me the love of my life with the 2020 issue, I am eternally grateful.

view all 432,226 comments

y/n oh my 😍

tchalamet liked

laurieslaurence YOU ATEEEE the lil part about y/n and how much she's helped shape you 🥺🥺🫶🫶

atreideskyle i ❤️ my boyfriend

zendaya OKAYYYYY

willyswonka he seems like such a good boyfriend to y/n

florencepugh so proud of you!!!

charliestimo the comparison to the 2020 and this one 🥺🥺 he's already grown so much 😭💔💔

ayoedebiri 🫶🫶

liked by y/n, dovecameron, addisonraee and 4,282,727

tchalamet my love deserves a post of its own. when we're apart i count down the minutes until we can be together again. you make me the best possible version of myself and i thank you for it. you are the most beautiful person inside and out, and I'm so lucky to get to not only know you, but love you as well. i love you happy two years my pretty girl.

view all 233,287 comments

timosatreid "MY PRETTY GIRL" GOD WHEN 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺

y/n you just had to outdo my caption huh.

tchalamet liked

addisonraee yall are too cute pls stop

sabsyn THE HAND PLACEMENT IN THE SECOND PIC WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE. HAND. PLACEMENT.

ynschals imagine how many pics they have of each other on their phones that we'll never see... 😖

yourfriend no other guy could make her as happy as you, timmy!

tchalamet and y/n liked

y/n idk if you know this but i love you

#timothee chalamet fanfiction #timothee chalamet x you #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet imagine #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet #timothee imagine #timothee x reader #timothee fanfic #timothee chalamet social media au #timothee chalamet smut #timothee chalamet au #timothee chalamet smau #timothee chalamet instagram au

994 notes · View notes

spidybaby · 2 months

Text

Not the romantic type

Summary: You tried to give him as many chances as you could. But when he keeps choosing other people over you, you are done.

Warnings: asshole!Pedri, cursing, manipulation, gaslight, suggestive moments.

Part two

Since the beginning of your relationship, you noticed that Pedri wasn't the romantic type of boyfriend.

When it comes to planning things or saying things to you, he was very basic.

You remember your first anniversary, he invited you to dinner at his house and you watched a movie.

You appreciate everything. He was very caring. He loved you. He was just not the type to throw out his feelings at you or show them every time.

But you can't lie, that did bother you sometimes.

The memory of you telling him excited about a goal becoming a reality to you, you expected more than just a kiss and a congratulations.

Maybe not a party, maybe nothing crazy, just a little more.

Comparison wasn't also a good thing. The pictures of your friends with their boyfriends on trips, cute picnics, date nights.

You wanted that.

"Hey, I was thinking that now that you have the next two days. We can plan something romantic, maybe?"

He lifts his eyes from his phone. Your shiny eyes are the first thing he sees. Then back to the phone again.

"Olvidé decirte, my parents are coming, and I planned this restaurant thing with Fer and them."

He planned.

"Oh, you did?" You ask. "What about if we go to the movies, it's early and there's this movie I've been dying to see."

"I mean if you want that, let me get my keys and we can go." He says, getting up from the couch and walking to you. "Te quiero"

You smile, you love him very much. Kissing his lips quickly and picking your things while he walked upstairs.

You run quickly to the bathroom, not wanting to miss the movie. While you're there, you check your hair and makeup.

"Preciosa, le dije a Fer, irá con nosotros." He yells while walking downstairs. You force a smile.

"I heard Henry Cavill was on the cast, I'm in." Fer jokes, opening the door for you. "And maybe that Dualipa was also in the cast."

You smile at him, not feeling like joking back. When you sat in the back and didn't even play any music, Fer notice that something was wrong.

"You okay?" Fer asked, the two of you are waiting for Pedri. You nod, not wanting to say anything.

When Pedri was out of his car, you offered your hand to him. He high five you, letting your hand go. You squint your eyes.

"I was thinking." You say as you see the movie display. "I want to see Anyone but you." You smile.

"What about Aquaman? I like aquaman," He says, also looking at the display. "And maybe Fer won't like that movie you want to see."

"Well, I already see Aquaman. And I've been wanting to see this movie for about three weeks now."

He turns to where Fer is. He was buying the popcorn and soda. "He won't like that, amor."

"It's Sydney Sweeney. He will be too busy looking at her boobs instead of the movie itself."

You were tired. This was supposed to be a couple's thing and not a bring your brother with you kind of thing.

"Let's do this. What if you see the movie and Fer and I see Aquaman." He offers.

You want to smack him with your purse. Did he really think this was a good idea?

"Why can Fer see the movie alone, and you see this one with me?" You lower your tone, trying to show him your discomfort.

The thinking was getting to you. Why did he have to think between watching a movie with you or without you?

"Bebé, you know I've been waiting for you to have time to come with me to this movie."

"I just don't want Fernando to see a movie alone."

"Oh, but I have to?"

He sighs. Not wanting to start a fight. "No. Let's watch Anyone but you." He kisses your hand and walks to the front to buy the tickets.

You can even say that you're happy. You don't want to fight or beg for him to do something with you.

You were in the middle of Fer and him. The conversation between them was easy. You feel like it's been a while since you had such an easy conversation with him.

The sour aftertaste of the small argument made you uncomfortable.

"I'm going to get an ICEE drink. I'll be back." You say, getting up, feeling like you can finally breathe.

You don't like feeling this way. You don't like the guilt that builds inside of you every time you feel jealous about him planning something for everyone else but you.

You waited for your drink, checking instagram to distract yourself. The first picture you see is your friend and her boyfriend cooking together.

You don't feel well about it.

You don't want to be the second option.

You want to be the person he plans outings with.

You want him to be as interested in your life as you're in his.

You understand, he's a footballer, he doesn't have time to do all these dates, and plans.

But he does.

He has time for Ferran and Gavi, and he has time for his teammates' parties and celebrations.

He just didn't have time for you.

"Just in time, the movie is about to start." Pedri lift the arm thing on the seat and pass his arm around your shoulders. "My love." He kisses your cheeks.

You can't help the sadness inside. With so little you're so ready to forgive the things that make you feel bad.

"Love you." You kiss his lips.

You love the way he smiles into the kiss. It makes you feel dreamy.

The movie was awesome. in the end, even Fer was happy about it and loved the unwritten song.

"But I definitely think she was the hottest of them all." Fer says, you are walking back to the car.

"That's why she's the star of the movie." You laugh at him.

Pedri was quiet. That was his new mood.

You turn your face to him. His eyes are glued to the pavement. "Pepi, did you like the movie?" You ask. He just nods, not even a single word answer. "Okay."

The drive was silent but not an uncomfortable one. Fer was playing his music, something nice.

Pedri drops Fer at their house, telling him that he was driving you home and then coming back.

You stayed at the back, you feel like joking with him. "So, Mister driver, where to now?"

He laughs, you love his laugh. "I was thinking maybe I can take you for a walk." He extended his arm to the back. "Does the beach sounds good?"

You nod excited, your hands caressing his own while he drives you to the beach.

The moon and the stars were shining so much, leaving a nice and peaceful glow on the sand.

"Oye, I mentioned that I was inviting my parents to this thing and I was wondering if you want to come." He says, pulling away from your hug.

You smile at the proposal. You wanted to spend more time with him, and his family being there was a plus since you're close to them.

You nod, hugging him back again. Your face on his neck, the smell of his perfume making you drunk in love.

"Can you wear that beautiful blue dress?" His hands are now on your ass, pulling you closer. "I love it when you wear that dress."

"The one that ended on the floor after you won LaLiga?" You mess with him, kissing his neck.

The feeling of his beard against your lips, the way his throat vibrates with every moan and sound he makes when you kiss his sensitive areas.

"Preciosa, we're at the beach." He says, pulling away from your kisses. "But we're inside your car." You say, kissing his nose. He smirks, making you sit properly on top of him.

In a quick motion, he reached the door and slammed it shut, making sure to lock the doors.

"Come here." His lips meet your lips in a very hungry kiss.

The way your tongues dance together is making the burning sensation of your body even harder to control.

His hands undo the buttons of your shirt while your lips are kissing his neck. With every kiss, you lick the place. Marking him without actually marking him.

He pulls your shirt to your elbows and kisses from your right shoulder to your neck. He can't have a visible love mark, but you do.

So he takes the time to suck onto that specific place on your neck, your hands gripping on his hair softly.

You began moving your hips slowly in circles, his groaning making you smile, knowing you're doing a good job.

"We need to stop. We're at the beach." He breathlessly says, hands on your waist, guiding the movement. His head is thrown back into the seat.

You want to feel him all the way. You crave him, but you know that if someone recognizes the car and finds you two doing that, it was going to be a big thing.

You fall on his chest. He opens his arms to you, hugging your body and caressing your back. His lips on your hair, trying to calm himself in the process. Once you're calmer, you move to your seat, legs still on his lap.

"Te prometo que voy a compensate por esto, te quiero." He says, kissing your lips and turning the car. (I promise I'm making up to you, I love you.)

The drive to your home was silent. The calm music from the radio was low but enough to make the vibe more relaxing.

One of his hands was managing the wheel, and the other one was squishing your thighs. You can't keep your eyes away from his face, he notice this, blushing a little.

When you're outside your house, you stay inside the car for a little "We're leaving at five, but mom probably wants to steal you from me a little, so what if you get ready at my place?"

You kiss his cheek, undoing your seatbelt. "Si, can you pick me up?" You wait for his answer, getting a kiss from him and a small nod.

"Te quiero." He says, kissing you again.

"You do?" You tease him. He follows you lead, nodding his head. "Won't you show me how much? I mean, you don't have to wake up early tomorrow."

He laughs, turning the car off and undoing his seatbelt. "I have to pick my parents but we can do that together." He grabs your face and places a kiss on your cheek.

🍃🍃🍃

"Dale, guacha, suelta," you sing the famous quevedo Bzrp session while you both cook something.

"Suelta," Pedri sings, doing the background voice.

"Vente pa' Canaria' sin el equipaje y sin viaje de vuelta por la isla te vo'a dar una vuelta."

"Bebé, solo avisa-" His singing got interrupted by his phone ringing and making the music stop. "Hola?"

You lower the speaker volume, knowing that as soon as he hits hang, the song will blast. "Try this." You whisper, spoon feeding him with a little mix of your food.

He gives you the thumbs up, stealing a little more with his finger. "Hey, stop." You laugh, slapping this hand away.

"No, que va, muchas felicidades y suerte en el partido de este viernes." (Nah, no problem, congratulations and good luck on this Friday's match) he laughs. You focus on the food in front of you but can't help to wonder who he's on the phone with. "Vale, adiós."

"Listo." You turn the stove off and turn to him, opening your arms for him to join you in a hug. "Bring some plates, ojitos lindos." You kiss his nose.

He does as he's told, helping you with serving the food and trying to make it look cute. "I was speaking with Aitana." He says, leaving the plate in front of you.

"The player?" You wonder, even tho you were sure it was her cause there's not many girls out there called aitana that your boyfriend knows, and that has a match to play.

"Yes, she won an award, and I forgot to congratulate her for her Ballon d'or, so I sent her some flowers."

"Oh."

You're not jealous. It's very sweet of him to support the feminine team as much as his teammates. It's just that he has those sweet gifts and congratulations for everyone except for you.

"Si, she was so happy."

You nod, smiling. You can't help the feeling of sadness washing you over. Has he ever given you flowers? No, he hasn't.

"Also, Adrian graduation is this weekend. My aunt is throwing him a party, and you, beautiful lady, are coming with me."

"That means you and I are matching colors for the party?" You ask, joking. He never liked the matching couple thing.

"Amor, that's so tacky." He shakes his head no. "Plus, you always wear vibrant colors, and I'm more of a black and white kind of dude lately. "

You just smile, knowing that he always says the same thing. "I can wear something black so you can match me with a black shirt."

"But you look amazing with vibrant colors, like that blue dress, or you beautiful orange top that you wore on my birthday."

It was no surprise to you that he always found excuses for you, even when you tried to accommodate to him.

"Okay, I just thought it would be cute."

"You would be cuter with something that is your style." He taps your nose, changing the topic quickly. "Do you want to see the last chapter of prison break with me?"

"Are you on the last? We were like half the show a few days ago."

"I've been free lately."

You agree, in the end, you were only watching the show for him, so the last chapter meant that you were done with the show.

While he enjoys his show, you search for a nice outfit, you wanted something simple but not that simple to look too lazy.

You find something cute on Zara, planning to go to the mall on your way home. After all the party was in three days and you always prepared at the last minute so a quick change of plans was nice.

"Amor, I think I'm leaving, I still have to study for this test." You move from your position on the couch, now being on top of him. "Te quiero, our food was yummy and the show was good."

"I thought you were staying." He pouts. Arms around you. "Stay"

"Pedri, I've been here since yesterday."

"One more night." He beg, kissing your temple. "Just one."

"If I say yes, I'm not studying for my test."

"I'll help you study. We can go pick your notes." His kisses go from your temple to your cheek. "Por favor."

You fight the urge to say yes. Knowing that you actually have a test coming up and you really need to pick up your books and study for it.

"I'll see you tomorrow after practice." You remove yourself from his arms. Turning to kiss him goodbye. "Come home to me after practice, and I'll make you some healthy salmon."

He smiles, kisses your hands, and gets up to go with you to your car. "Drive safe and please text me when you're home, okay?" He kisses your lips one last time and close your car door.

You wave him goodbye and turn the radio, passing to the Dunkin Donuts drive thru for your favorite drink. You wanted to keep looking for an outfit.

Pedro's family are simple people. They prefer company than material things, something you loved. You wanted to be pretty for Pedro and also look good but not like the center of attention.

You search different stores for the outfit, finding something you consider perfect to wear, it was simple but pretty.

You also find a shirt for Pedri, something black and plain but with a simple quote. Very him.

When you're home you text him, sending him a picture of your books in your desk. Telling him that you will be off line and to call you if he needs anything.

He replied with a picture of him and Fer playing something, asking you to not stress out and to take breaks here and there.

The rest of the week you chose to stay low-key with the communication. Your test went extra well on Friday. You were happy and excited about the weekend because you needed the distraction.

You woke up and started yo get ready, taking a well-deserved full shower, taking your time. You wanted to feel extra clean cause it was a hot day.

When you're out you turn on a movie while getting ready, deciding to do something with your hair instead of letting it down.

When you're almost done with everything, you decide to do something very light with makeup. You don't want to feel gross if you sweat.

Your makeup session is interrupted by your phone, Pedri's name can be read on the screen.

"Hola amor." You say, keep applying some powder to your face. "Are you almost here?"

"About that, I wanted to tell you something."

"Yes, tell me"

"I was thinking, since you're busy with your exams and working on the project. I don't want to be a distraction, and I invite Ferran to the party."

You pause what you're doing to stare at your phone screen. Was he for real?

"Wait, what?" You snorted, thinking maybe he's joking. "C'mon, be serious. Don't play like that."

"Amor, I'm not." He says, serious tone. "I just don't want to bother your study session."

You let the brush fall, placing your hands to your face to try to calm yourself down. "Pedro." You say, voice tired. "What are you even on?"

He just stays quiet. He's not even considering that maybe he could have asked you before taking that decision.

"He pasado toda la mañana arreglandome, para que tú ahora vengas a decirme que tú piensas que es mejor que no vaya, dejándome saber cinco putos minutos antes de la hora en la que me pensabas recoger." You say, low and angry voice. (I've been all morning getting ready, for you to tell me that you thought it would help me to not go, letting me know five fucking minutes before you're supposed to picked me up.)

"I didn't think you would mind it that much."

"Pedro!"

"Okay, I mean, I can ask Adrian if you can come, I don't think he'd say no."

"You told everybody but me that I wasn't coming?" You can't even feel any more anger, just disappointment. "Pedro, that's so not okay for you to do to me."

"Can you not exaggerate?" He asks frustrated, he obviously doesn't care as much as you do. "It's not like you don't have to study. If something, I'm helping you here."

You hang up the call, not feeling like talking to him anymore. You can feel the tears in your eyes.

You don't want to cry but here you are, tears rolling down your cheeks. He didn't care about your opinion, he doesn't care about all the time you spend getting ready or anything you ever do.

You hear your phone ringing again, his name on the screen. Declining his call. You take your makeup remover wipes, cleaning your face.

You undo your hair and change into your pajamas. Not feeling like doing anything you throw yourself in bed.

After fifteen minutes you hear your front door getting opened, you lift your head from your pillow.

Your door is next, and a frowny Pedri walks into your room. "Get up, we're leaving." He's mad, you can tell.

Why was he mad when you're the one who got left out?

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Ferran and you can have a nice day. Go." You turn your back to him, throwing the blanket over your head.

"Y/n, I don't have time to play. Plus, you're not even ready. Stop the drama." He takes the blanket off your body in a movement.

"I was ready, but then you called me and told me that you prefer to take Ferran cause I was busy, so keep thinking that and go."

"Why are you acting this way? Are you on your period or something?"

You scuff, mad at his stupid sexist joke. "Why are you." You point at him. "Acting this way? Can't you see that I'm hurt by what you did?"

He rolls his eyes, you feel hurt by his action. He definitely doesn't care. "You don't even care." You cry. "Pedro, It took me a lot of time to get ready, I went out and bought a nice outfit and did all of this to look good for you and you treat me like I'm your booty call or worse."

"Is it about the money?" He asks exasperated, he pull out his wallet, throwing a few hundreds on the bed. "There, so you can be done with whatever this is."

You're speechless, not sure if you're dreaming or if he actually just did that.

"This isn't about money. This is about you not caring about me or how I'm feeling." You throw a pillow at him. "Get out, have a lot of fun and forget we even had this conversation."

You get up from bed, pushing him to the side and hiding in the bathroom. You cry as soon as the front door slams shut.

You thought that he would come to his senses later on the day, but when the night came and there was no text or calls from him, you were more mad than before.

The next day, he did call, and he texted you. But you were mad, you don't like how he treats you like you're nothing.

A few days pass by like that, you don't answer any of his calls, focusing on your studies like he wanted you to.

"So you're still not in speaking terms?" Your friend asks. "He hasn't even reach?"

"He tried." You sigh, he did try to reach to you, but you didn't answer any calls. "I'm just not ready to forgive him."

Your friend understood that you didn't want to talk too much about it, changing topics to something different she told you about her recent trip.

You spend all evening with her, dropping her home you went back to your house. You were in a blue mood.

The last fight left you with a sour aftertaste, it took him days to realize that he fucked up.

When the anger pass you understood that you weren't going to give in as easy as before.

You notice the black Porsche parked in front of your house. You opened the garage door and parked the car.

The doorbell rings, making you sigh. Were you giving him the benefit of the doubt?

"Hey." You whisper. Opening the door to find him. "Do you need something?" You block the entrance with your arm.

"Can we talk, please?"

"About? You ask , prentending to be confused. You wanted him to admit that he did wrong, you wanted him to see that you weren't going to allowed him to be like that again.

"Amor, can I come in?" He take a step closer.

"Oh, I'm your "amor" now?" You scoff, rolling your eyes at him. "I thought that I was just Y/n."

"Please." He begged. You can tell he hasn't had the best week, those bags under his eyes. "I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Why would I be mad?" You pretend confusion again. "I was just dramatic and probably on my period, remember?"

He brings one hand to his face. He's embarrassed by his actions. He wasn't like that to anyone, shouldn't be with you.

"I bought this for you." He hands you the bag of your favorite food place. You hesitate to take it, not wanting he to see this as a peace acceptance. "It's your favorite."

You take it, putting the bag away in the little table inside your house and next to your door. "Thank you." You whisper. "If that's all, you can leave."

You were about to close the door. Not wanting to deal with his lack of words. But his foot doesn't allow it.

"Amor, please, I just want to apologize. Let me."

You sigh, opening the door and moving for him to walk inside. "Five minutes, I'm counting." You say checking your watch.

"I'm fucking sorry, the way I talked to you was fucking wrong, and you're right, I shouldn't just do something without you knowing or deciding first." He tries to get closer, you lift a hand for him to stop. "Amor, I'm fucking sorry, I was an asshole. You're not a booty call. You're my girlfriend, and I didn't give you the respect you deserve."

"Why did you do that?" You ask, wanting for him to explain himself. "You treated me like my time and opinion didn't matter, that hurted."

He feels his heart breaking at the sight of your sad eyes, he fucked up real bad. "Mi amor, perdón." He walks over to you, wrapping his arms around you. "I do care about your opinion and your feelings. Your time is as valuable as mine. I'm sorry I was a fucking asshole."

"I just don't get why would you do that to me." You whisper, head buried in the crock of his neck. "You treat me like I'm not important."

"You're very important to me." He tightened his hug. Kissing your shoulder.

You hate to give in so easily, you hate to feel like you will take anything to keep your relationship.

But he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't be the one forgiving you if that was the case. He wouldn't be the one opening your door. And you know it.

"Let me make it up to you. Let's watch your favorite movies and I can go get your favorite drink to make it up." You nod, closing the door with your feet and walking hand in hand to your room.

🍃🍃🍃

"Now add some salt, but try it to see if a little is enough of if you need more." Rosy says, passing you the salt and helping you with the mixing of the food.

Rosy was teaching you how to do some typical Tenerife food. You once tried it and you loved it.

You enjoy cooking with her and with Fer, both taught you a lot, making you a better cook.

"Well I kinda eat with a lot of salt, so will you help me with trying it." You grab a spoon, taking a bit of the food and passing it to her to try it.

She nods, giving you a thumbs up and turning the stove down. "Perfect" she smiles.

You help wash the dishes and put away the rest of the ingredients. You were having a fun day with his family while he was in Napoli.

Your family was in Madrid spending the last days of a festival. You were invited to go but wanted to stay in Barcelona due to study.

"Fer, you have a new competition." Rosy says, proud of you for learning so quickly. "because this, mijo." she points at her plate of food. "it's amazing, and she was only following instructions."

Fer compliment your food, telling you that you did an amazing job, he was on his second serving.

"I'm impressed that you didn't want to go with Pedri to Napoli, I think some of the girlfriends of the players are going." Rosy confess.

You notice how Fer started coughing, and changing the topic. You had this twisted feeling in your stomach.

You want to say you weren't invited, but you don't want to bring Rosy into that. Maybe she heard the wrong thing and Pedro couldn't invite you.

"Fer, you'll be the one washing the dishes. Don't think I don't remember that." Rosy says, leaving Fer and you alone.

He knows his mom fucked up by saying the wrong thing, but he can't actually blame her.

"Are you taking the rest home?" He's feeling awkward. "I can put it away for you." You shake your head no.

"I actually have to go back home, I've been here bothering you two since early today." You don't even feel comfortable anymore.

Were you overthinking?

"You don't bother us, we love you."

Was he being honest? Or just saying that to fix things?

You smile, not wanting to engage in the conversation, but he did notice that, he can sense the change in you.

"Do you need help or should I get going?" You collect your things, putting everything on your bag.

"No, don't worry. Be careful on your way home."

Waving him goodbye and asking him to say goodbye to his mom for you was all you did.

You knew some of the players invited their partners, like Sara, Mikky, and Katrine; but you thought that maybe they were the ones who planned the trip.

You chose to play potato and stayed in bed the rest of the day, watching some romcoms and texting your family on your group chat.

Fer texted him, informing him about what his mom said to you. He immediately pick his phone to call you.

You were interrupted by the FaceTime call. "Hola, guapa." He smiles, his beard was making him look more mature. "Were you busy?"

"Noup, just watching TV."

You were serious, putting the phone in your nightstand so you could keep watching your movie.

He told you about everything he did, you only hummed in response to what he's saying. He was nervous, he noticed the way you're not even interested in hearing about his day. "What are you watching?"

"Just go with it." You sigh, wanting to hang up and not have to pretend you're not kinda mad. "It's almost done."

He nods, even when your eyes are not on him. "Sara says hi."

You scuff, he definitely had a nerve. "If you see her again, tell her I say hi." You grab your phone, ready to say goodbye. "Si sabes que no tienes que fingir que no me estas llamando por lo que dijo tu madre?" (You know you don't have to pretend that you're not calling me because of what your mother said?) You left out a bitter laugh.

He knew you were not the most direct person, that's why he never expected you to be this direct about the topic. "Guapa, listen."

"You don't have to invite me, just don't tell other people you did and that I said no. That made it awkward for me and for your brother even."

"Can you not do this?" He sighs mad. "I forgot and when mom asked me about it I just lied."

"I'm not doing anything, I'm just saying that it was awkward for me, that's all." You were calm, much calmer than he thought.

"I just want to talk. Can we pass this?"

This was a pattern. He promised to change, pretend for a while, and then go back to his old self.

"I don't feel like talking to you right now."

"Joder, this is why I don't say shit. You just want to always be the center of attention, such a bother."

You stop breathing. That was so unnecessary of him to say. Specially when he was the one who fucked things up.

"If I am a bother, then why are you with me?" You can feel that pain in your heart, pain that has been with you since this attitude started.

"Sometimes I ask myself that."

"Pedro." You whisper, hurt by his words.

Just hung up the call, block him and don't go back. But it was easier to think than to actually do it.

"You want full attention and I can't, I'm not a nine to five kind of guy, I have a much harder job."

"Pedro." You try to interrupt him.

"And fuck, my friends are right, I'm missing a lot because I chose to lock myself down with a serious relationship, you don't even support me."

"I don't what?" You ask loud. "I support you more than your stupid brain actually acknowledges." It's your turn to be mad, leaving the feeling of pain being replaced by anger.

"Don't call me stupid."

"I know you're working very hard on growing your career, I've always accepted for you to give me the crumbs of your time, I'm the one making and effort to keep whatever this shitty relationship turned into."

"Oh, so we now have a shitty relationship?"

"You just called me a bother, Pedro." You remind him his own words. "At this point, I think it is better for both of us to admit that you can't give me what I need, and I'm not what you'll ever need."

"What exactly do you need?" He yells, you're not surprised by that. "I'm trying, I really am."

"No, you're not." You cut him off. "I don't want to keep this going on."

"No, amor, let's calm down. This is blowing out of proportion.- "

You let him talk. You let him pretend he didn't just tell you he questioned himself about you two. You let him excuse his friends about telling him how wrong is for him to he in a relationship.

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, Pedro. I don't want to be a bother to you anymore." You try not to cry. "I don't want to keep you away from fun with other girls like your friends say."

"Amor, that's not.-"

"I don't want to be your last option. I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore." You're breaking your own heart, but you need this more than you care to accept. "I'm letting you be free to have all the fun in the world, to have all the girls, to not have to overthink every night about how much of a bother you have in life."

"Y/n, please no."

"Good luck on your game tomorrow. You're going to be amazing. Te quiero." You cry, hanging up the phone, you quickly turn it off.

Taking your necklace with his initial on it and letting it rest next to you on your nightstand. You were finally done.

🍃🍃🍃

🏷: miss @gadriezmannsgirl ✨️

523 notes · View notes

imtryingbuck · 6 months

Text

Happy Ending

~ gif not mine credit goes to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader, past Steve x fem!Reader

Summary: Happy Ending that’s all.

Word count: 1,109

Warnings: swearing, my awful attempt at fluff and I think that’s it

Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

You were wrong. About Steve I mean. Steve wasn’t the love of your life. The man sitting on the floor trying and failing to assemble a crib without instructions because and I quote ‘I don’t need instructions Y/N it’s not that difficult’. Him. He’s the love of your life.

You’re standing at the door to the nursery watching this beautiful man struggle and instead on offering help as you know for a fine fact he’d tell you no, you stand and watch. You look around the room and smile. Sam came over two days ago to help paint the room with Bucky whilst you were sat in the living room with Natasha and Wanda going through baby names both women argued with each other for ages about if the baby’s a girl to be named after one of them.

For 6 months you and Bucky dated without anyone knowing until Bucky asked if he could tell Steve as he wanted to introduce you to his newfound family as his girlfriend, you nervously agreed. Bucky came back to your apartment with a black eye and busted lip. Steve was furious claiming that you both betrayed him and when Bucky mentioned that Steve had dated your sister that was a betrayal, their argument had spilled out to the common room, and everyone was in shock not only to see the two super soldiers’ best friends arguing but to learn that you was Steve’s ex-girlfriend. Bucky threw the first punch after Steve made a comment about you which still to this day, he has never told you what that comment was. After meeting the team again things were going great, that was until you was going to the bathroom and walked straight into Steve an argument happens with him calling you all the names under the sun then apologising and proceeding to tell you how much he loves you. You tell him you don’t love him anymore; you tell him you wish him all the best and with that you go and sit next to Bucky.

Another six months go by, and you walk into your apartment and at first your confused you’ve walked into the wrong place when you take in the sight of your floor covered in rose petals and there’s candles lit up, as you walk further into your home you see Bucky standing there with a nervous smile.

“Hi baby” he says.

“Hi Buck, what’s all this?” Your minds racing thinking you’ve forgotten your anniversary but that’s not for another two weeks.

“I had a whole speech I wrote but standing here looking at you I can’t remember what I wrote” he chuckles lightly. “So I’m just going to say this. Y/N I love you more than anything in this world. You are my happiness, my forever. I- woul- Will you marry me my love?”

You didn’t even notice he had dropped to his knee; you didn’t even notice the ring, you didn’t even notice the tears rolling down your face as you nod spluttering ‘yes’.

Your baby was conceived that night.

When you told Bucky you was pregnant you was a nervous wreck, your apologising whilst he drops to his knees kissing your stomach over and over and then he’s thanking you for the best news ever.

Three months later you and Bucky get married in the field that you had your first date, Tony is adamant he’s paying for the whole thing. Natasha and Wanda are both your maid of honour’s as you simply couldn’t decide. Sam is Bucky’s best man. Bruce and Pepper are running around making sure everything is running smoothly. Your parents and sister aren’t there as you haven’t spoken to them since Steve broke up with your sister. Your brother is there with tears in his eyes and he’s the one that walks you down the makeshift isle. Steve makes an appearance which makes your heart race with worry, thinking he’ll do something but luckily he doesn’t. As you’re exchanging your vows there’s not a dry eye around. You see Steve give Bucky a smile with a nod as you both walk past. When the night draws to an end you tell everyone that you’re expecting Baby Barnes everybody cheers. Steve asks if you two could talk and you agree, you walk into an empty room and he asks you if your happy you tell him yes so with a nod he tells you that he’s sorry for not doing right by you. He congratulates you for your marriage and pregnancy, he pulls you into a hug whispering that you will always be the love of his life.

Steve has to watch the love of his life walk up to hers and there’s nothing he can do about it. He lost you and it was all his fault.

The day Baby Barnes decided to make an appearance your husband is a nervous wreck which actually helps you with the pain as your too focused on him to register that soon enough you’ll be pushing a human into the world. After four and half hours of labour you give birth to the most beautiful baby boy. The doctor tells you to keep pushing as another baby is on its way, you and Bucky share a look of horror and confusion. You give birth to a beautiful baby girl.

As your sat there with your family the room starts to fill up with your other family. Like yourselves everyone gets a shock when Bucky shows them your daughter, wide eyes and laughter fill the room.

The love of your life sits on the bed besides you with your daughter in his arms your son in yours and neither one of you can stop smiling. He tells you he’s so proud of you and repeatedly tell you how much he loves you.

You see the love of your life kissing another girl instead of your heart breaking it flutters. Bucky kisses Winnie’s face all over to make her release that delightful squeal whilst James Junior (JJ as Bucky calls him) is playing with his Captain America shield. Catching the love of your life attention you tell him your pregnant again he cries and tells you he’s so happy and so madly in love with you, the three year olds are confused but as soon as they see their parents laughing they follow along.

Sitting there later that night with the babies in bed yourself and Bucky take a minute to thank Steve for messing up and as Buck puts it ‘letting the most beautiful and incredible person walk away’.

You finally got your happy ending.

Tags: @bruher @cjand10 @themotherof10 @spngingerbread21 @behindmygreyeyes @hnnhbananananana @reguluscrystals @learisa @unaxv

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

451 notes · View notes

togrowoldinv · 1 year

Text

The Meeting

Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader

When you meet a fellow mom at the PTO meeting, you soon realize just how much love she needs

Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Kissing, fingering, oral (W receiving), mommy kink, general fluff at some parts

Note: I just woke up thinking about milf Wanda lol. Follow my library blog @togrowoldinvlibrary for updates! Enjoy!

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

Your hands shake with nerves as you enter the school. You’re not one for group events, but your daughter’s teacher had asked you personally to help with this year’s spring events. You couldn’t say no.

You follow the other parents to the sign in table. Recognizing a couple of the parents, you smile at them and have some small talk as you sign your name.

And then you see her. A mom who’s new to the town, and everyone is curious about.

She sits next to you. You figure it would be impolite not to introduce yourself.

“Hey I’m y/n,” you say, holding out your hand for the woman to shake.

She turns to you. You could get lost in those eyes.

“Wanda,” she supplies simply. She shakes your hand gently.

Before you can ask her any questions, the meeting starts. Pepper Potts leads the conversation and explains that you’ll be divided into teams for the process.

You’re uneasy at the idea, but when she pairs you and Wanda as a team your curiosity is peaked.

The meeting comes to an end and it’s time to talk to your partners to make schedule arrangements.

“So, we can meet here on whatever night works best for you,” you start the conversation with Wanda.

“The boys keep me pretty busy,” Wanda explains.

“Boys?”

“Yes, I have twins,” she clarifies.

“Oh wow. I thought one was exhausting,” you say. Wanda laughs a little at that. “We can meet anywhere at anytime. I’m open as long as I have time to get a sitter.”

“Would you mind if we did it my house?” Wanda asks. “I have to wait for my husband to drive to me places and it’s just easier if-“

“Sounds perfect,” you cut her off. You didn’t need to know anymore than that about her husband. “Just text me your address.”

You hand her your phone to put her number in and shoot her a quick text that it’s you. With a quick goodbye, you and Wanda go separate ways. She texts you the next morning with her address and the time to be there.

The first time going there you were nervous. You didn’t know anything about Wanda other than her first name. Every week you learn more about her and start feeling yourself really drawn to her.

Today when you show up at Wanda’s, she answers the door wearing her best dress. But her eyes are sad.

“Hey Wanda. You look nice,” you tell her. “I was supposed to come here tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah, come in,” she replies.

You walk in and sit your stuff down on the couch like usual. Wanda sits next to you, but her focus is on her phone.

“Is everything okay?” You ask her.

Wanda drops her phone onto the couch and turns to you.

“He isn’t coming home tonight. It’s our anniversary and he isn’t coming home,” she says. She starts crying.

You move closer to her and wrap an arm around her shoulder. She leans into you and cries into your chest.

“I’ve got you, Wanda,” you say. “I know how hard this is.”

“You do?” She asks through her tears.

“I do. I went through the same thing. Hence why I’m a single parent now,” you explain.

“I didn’t know. You always seem to have it together,” Wanda says.

“Yeah well, truly I don’t. But that’s alright.”

You wipe Wanda’s tears from her face with one hand and rub your hand over her back with the other.

Wanda’s tears begin to subside. She shifts in your arms and is now inches from your face.

“Wanda,” you whisper just before she leans forward and kisses your lips.

You can’t help but kiss her back. She’s so beautiful and so deserving of soft love. After a few minutes of kissing, Wanda seems to realize what’s happening and she pulls away a little.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her breath hits your lips.

“Wanda, when is the last time someone kissed you like this?” You ask her.

“I don’t know.”

You run your hand through her hair and Wanda’s eyes close in comfort.

“Can I kiss you again?” You ask. She nods. “I need to hear you say it, baby.”

“Yes, please, yes,” she breathes out.

At her words, you kiss her deeply. She melts against you. You pull her into your lap, and kiss her neck. Wanda moans and moves her hips as you pay attention to the soft skin of her neck.

“Bite me,” she mumbles. You grin against her neck and do as she asks.

You pull away and look at her. She’s so beautiful.

“Wanda, you’re so gorgeous,” you tell her.

The smile she has on her face makes your heart swell. You lift up her dress over her hips to reveal red lacy panties.

“Fuck, Wanda.”

You run a finger over her panties and feel her wetness. She grinds against your finger and you take that as a sign to slip her panties to the side.

“Oh god,” Wanda moans.

“Be good for me, baby,” you say. “Already so wet for me.” You run your fingers over her folds and slip them into her.

She rides your fingers as you continue to kiss anywhere you can reach on her body. It’s not long before Wanda’s hip movements become erratic.

“Come for me, Wanda,” you say.

“Fuck,” she moans as she coats your fingers.

You work her down from her high. And she falls against your shoulder. You kiss her temple and she smiles against you.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” You ask her.

“I haven’t felt this good in so long,” Wanda replies. She kisses your neck. You hold her tighter against you.

“You deserve to always feel this good.”

Wanda shifts in your arms to look at you again. You kiss her and reach behind her to unzip her dress. She stands up and the dress along with her panties fall to the floor.

You take in the sight of her standing there with nothing on.

“My god, you’re so beautiful,” you tell her.

She smirks and reaches her hand out for you to take. You smile and take it. Wanda pulls you off of the couch and into her bedroom.

You kiss her as she falls back onto the bed. This time you bring your lips to her nipples and suck them.

“You feel so good,” Wanda says. Her hands push you further into her chest.

“All for you, mommy,” the word slips from your lips. You stop sucking on her due to the feeling a little embarrassed. But Wanda doesn’t let you hesitate for long.

“Mommy needs you,” she says. The term makes you both so amped up and ready.

“I’ll take care of you, mommy,” you say. You move down her body and drop kisses along the way.

You lick her folds and she makes beautiful sounds. Taking her clit in your mouth, you bring her close almost immediately. She definitely hasn’t been touched like this in a long time, if ever.

“Fuck baby,” Wanda says.

“Come for me, mommy,” you say against her.

And she does. You wish you could remember the sounds she makes for the rest of your life. So beautiful, so pleasant.

You clean her up and move up to lay next to her. Wanda kisses you in a way that feels like she’s thanking you for helping her feel so good.

“I’m so glad I met you, Wands,” you say.

“I’m glad I met you too, y/n,” she says. She moves to straddle your waist and slips her hands under your shirt. “It’s your turn now, baby.”

You smile and let Wanda start to undress you.

You are so glad you went to that PTO meeting.

Wanda Maximoff is the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen.

And here she is above you, making you feel so good.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff comfort #wanda maximoff fluff #she’s so hot fr

811 notes · View notes

mummybear · 3 months

Text

My Brother's Best Friend - Chapter 5 - Unwelcome Visitor

Words : 3831

Warnings: Swearing, Grief, Angst, Anniversary Of A Death, Talk Of Virginity, Degrading Talk And Threats, Protective Stiles And Scott. Think that's it.

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Reader/Sadie McCall, James(OC), Mystery Person! Find out in the next chapter ;)

A/N: So sorry about the wait once again guys! Really hope you like this chapter! Let me know what you think and feel free to ask for a tag if you would be interested! :D

Chapter 5 - Unwelcome Visitor

Stiles doesn’t even try to stop you when you leave your room, and you have to force yourself not to look back. You hold back the urge to ask if he’s coming. Whatever his reasoning, you need to get out. If he’s acting this way because he needs space, then he can have it. Nothing else matters today, you have somewhere more important to be. You can’t let yourself get distracted by anything else.

Today is the anniversary of Callie’s death. You’d promised yourself that every year on the day of her death you would go to her grave, to take her flowers and tell her about what was going on in town and in your life. After all, you’d made sure to be with her for every birthday celebration when she was alive, why should the anniversary of her death be any different.

Last night you’d planned to tell Stiles about your scheduled visit after breakfast, but right now, with everything going on between the two of you, the distance could be good for you both. Besides, food is the furthest thing from your mind. As you enter the kitchen the entire room falls silent, and you can feel the ball of nerves that sits at your throat, like a heavy weight that never leaves. Wringing your hands together, you take one look at the plate of food on the table and sickness sweeps through your stomach.

You feel someone take hold of your arm and you turn to face your mom. She gives you that all knowing look, that she gives better than anyone. She pulls you over to one side, as far away from the others in the room as possible.

"What happened? This isn't just Callie, is it?" She whispers, more than aware of just how many beings with super hearing are around.

Swallowing thickly you feel the tears pricking at the edges of your eyes.

"Can we do this later? I promise, I won’t bail, I just need to get out of this house, I need to get some air.”

Sighing deeply she shakes her head gently. You can easily see the worry in her gaze and the guilt of making her worry causes you to hesitate a little.

“It’s okay. If that’s what you need to do right now, sweetheart, then just be safe. Call Scott or me if you need to speak to someone. Just don’t shut us out, okay?”

She pulls you into a tight hug and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“Never, I swear. I’ll be back later, okay?”

You can’t face anyone else, so with a final goodbye to your mom you head out. Maybe the others knew not to even try to talk to you, since nobody even tries to stop your escape. You inhale deeply as the fresh morning air hits you in the face, you put on your headphones and select the playlist that you’d updated earlier in the week. Slowly you make your way to the cemetery, trying to ignore the thoughts which want to invade your mind. It’s a peaceful morning, where only a select few people wander the streets. A lone tear rolls down your cheek as you step through the entrance of the cemetery, and you make no move to wipe it away as you slowly make your way to Callie’s grave.

You smile softly when you see her grave coming into view. There are clear signs that people have been here recently, probably her parents, maybe even her grandma.

You sink to your knees right in front of the headstone, gently brushing away the fallen petals of the flowers which have been left behind. You carefully pick up one of the photos that’s leaning against the gravestone.

The tears come thick and fast, because it’s a photo of the two of you. One of the last ones you’d taken before her death, and your heart breaks all over again.

“Hey Cal, here we are. I can’t believe it’s been a year already,” you sigh softly, looking up at the sky briefly, before you allow yourself to look back at the headstone.

“So much has changed since… you’ve been gone. Especially in the last few days. Honestly it’s been kind of crazy. I guess I’m still not one hundred percent sure that I didn’t dream… well… all of it,” you chuckle to yourself as you wipe your eyes on your sleeve. “I need you now more than ever, God, I need you.” You let out a shuddered breath before continuing.

“That’s selfish, I know. I just miss you, so much. I miss your smile, your laugh, your advice and constant support. Nobody ever did get me the way you do… did, not sure they ever will again. I can practically hear your voice every time something big happens to me,” smiling at the thought you place the photo back against the headstone. “Things have definitely escalated with Stiles, to say the least. Beyond anything we ever talked about. I still can’t wrap my mind around it all.”

Remembering your other best friend, another wave of grief hits you.

“Josh still talks about you, all the time. He’s just full of regret, Callie. I know you probably don’t want to hear that, I’m sorry. But we both are, though his reasons are a little different to mine. I know you would lose your mind with what I’m about to tell you, if you were here.”

You smile fondly, thinking of her crush on Josh. “He wishes he’d told you about his feelings for you. Before that awful day that turned everyone's lives upside down. Before everything went wrong…. and you were taken from us. He loves you so much, I’m not sure he knows how to cope with the situation.”

Tears roll down your cheeks once again, showing no sign of stopping, as you wipe your arm across your face. Doing your best to focus on her name written in stone right in front of you, though it’s blurred with your tears.

“We both wish we’d been there to save you, to help, hell, to do something. I’m so sorry, Callie. I should have saved you…. somehow.” You whisper hoarsely, feeling the unbearable ache in your chest.

Pulling the letter from your pocket just like you have on every visit, you place it under the flower pot, in the small hole you’d made. Knowing that Callie’s parents likely read these letters every time they visited. You’d made no secret that you’d been leaving them there, and every time you returned the previous letter had been taken away. The amount you came to see her might seem strange to some people, but you couldn’t help it, maybe that would dwindle a little with time, though right now it felt like the right thing to do.

A shiver wracks your body as a gust of frosty wind blows through the cemetery, the bushes around you rustling. You wrap your arms around yourself, resting your head on your bent knees.

“I swear this gets harder every time I come here, Cal.”

You stiffen, feeling a presence behind you, without needing to turn around or even lift your head, you let out an irritated sigh.

“You of all people shouldn’t be here, especially not today. Not around me.”

“You still owe me. It’s been a year, grow a set, Love.”

Fury fills your every thought as you lift your head and quickly get to your feet, turning to face him.

“What the fuck are you talking about? You’ve got some nerve, you son of a bitch!”

“You’re still hot when you’re angry, princess. But don’t sass me, and leave my mother out of it would you. You know what I want. I’m here to collect.” He grins at you with those stupid white teeth, and you remember just how dangerous this man is. You’d fallen for his charms when he’d promised to protect Callie, if you went out on a date with him. He’d obviously been full of shit, since she was dead. He had seemed like the only option at the time. Scott was busy with the pack, and you hadn’t wanted to bother him over something that might have been all in your imagination. Something which you’d regretted to this day.

“Excuse me?! Collect on what, exactly? You promised me you would protect my best friend, which you clearly didn’t do! Since I’m sitting here at her graveside. So get fucked, James. We haven’t had anything to talk about, not for a long time.”

He’d lured you into a false sense of security when you’d first met. You were lonely, obsessed with your brother’s best friend, who’d never looked at you twice. Then this hot werewolf came along, promising you he wanted to be there for you, that he only wanted to help. You’d been an idiot to fall for it, but he was hot, charming, confident and seemingly capable. You would never fall for his shit again. However, he was dangerous, so you needed to tread carefully. At least that was what the smart part of your brain told you, unfortunately, you weren’t listening to that part, you were hurt, upset and consumed with thoughts of Callie. Not to mention your earlier interaction with Stiles.

“Stay the fuck away from me you scumbag,” you all but growl, your fists clenched at your sides.

James turning up out of nowhere after such a long time, and here of all places had your common sense at breaking point.

However, before you can act you’re pressed against a tree with his big hand wrapped around your throat.

“What the fuck did you just say to me, you ungreatful little bitch?!” he snarls, his face impossibly close to your own.

“You’re kidding me right! She’s dead! You didn’t do shit, James. There is no deal! What exactly should I be grateful for?” You grit out, trying to ignore the pain in your throat when his grip tightens.

He leans in closer, running his nose along the side of your neck inhaling deeply.

“Still just as pure as last time, in all the ways that matter to me anyway.” He chuckles deeply, as he pins your arms above your head with his free hand.

You shiver in disgust as he licks up the side of your neck with a groan, “get the fuck off of me.”

Suddenly he stiffens against you and you jolt in his grip as he rips your t-shirt down to reveal the rest of your neck and collarbone, and you immediately know what he’s seen.

“Who’s fucking touched you. You were supposed to be mine, you whore.”

Before you can even think of a reply a deep rumbling growl fills the graveyard, and you shiver involuntarily in his hold and a whimper slips past your lips. That growl is quickly followed by a few others, but the ground shaking roar fills you with relief.

James tosses you aside and turns to face the pack of wolves who are quickly advancing on you both. Your eyes fix on your brother immediately, the tension and fury coming off of him is palpable. You force yourself to climb to your feet, but you don’t dare to go around James. You know how quick his reflexes are.

So instead you try to focus somewhere else to calm your nerves, but as much as you try to avoid Stiles’ gaze, it’s like a magnet pulling you in, and when your eyes lock his eyes begin to glow purple. You hadn’t noticed that James had edged closer to you until it was too late, and his hand was wrapped in your hair tightly.

“Let her go.” Scott demands as you’re forced to your knees. Scott’s eyes begin to glow red with the power of the Alpha that flows through him.

To James’ credit he does well to hide his flinch, but not well enough judging by the looks on the packs’ faces. Everyone except Stiles, who is now standing at Scott’s side, still focused on you. Scott reaches out just in time to stop Stiles from taking another step towards you.

“What’s it to you? You’re the true Alpha, right? So go find your own bitches to play with. This one is all mine, and she needs to be taught a lesson about what happens when she disobeys me.”

Scott’s smirk is dangerous as he takes a step forward, and you can’t help but wince as James’ grip tightens in your hair.

“Even if I ignore the fact that there’s a woman being held by you, who clearly has no interest. I can’t exactly ignore the fact that she’s my twin sister, and she’s in trouble. So, here’s how this is going to go, you can either let her go right now, or I’ll make sure you regret it.”

James remains silent as he stares back at Scott, you try to pull your head away as he lowers his mouth to your ear, “you can go for now. Just know, I will find you again, when nobody is around to save your ass. When you’re all alone again, I’ll finally take what you owe me.” The threat is as clear as the anger in his voice, he throws you forward with so much force you land at Scott’s feet.

Scott reaches for you to help you up, but sudden movement has you distracted as you watch Stiles walk forward.

“You so much as speak about Sadie like that again, and I will fucking hunt you down and rip your throat out. You touch her again and you’ll damn well pay for it. You want someone to blame for the marks on her, you’re looking at him.”

“It was you?!” James spits as he squares up once again, and Stiles just smirks at him.

“Stiles, don’t.” You rasp, stepping in front of him and resting your hands on his chest, until he looks down at you.

His eyes drop to your neck, probably seeing the marks from James’ hands on your skin. His fingers gently touch the skin as his eyes move back to yours.

“Stiles, get her out of here.” Scott demands as the rest of the pack move in behind him, pushing you and Stiles to the back of the group.

Swallowing hard, Stiles moves his eyes away from your neck and to your surprise he takes your hand, gently tugging you along with him, until you start to follow on your own. You’re surprised, but extremely glad that he actually listened to Scott for once without argument.

“Are you okay?” Stiles asks hoarsely, as his fingers tighten over yours, he instinctively pulls you closer to his body.

Things still feel a little awkward and strained between the two of you. However, there’s no denying that you feel yourself relaxing now that you’re close again. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop your feelings from this morning, resurfacing.

“Yeah, I’m fine Stiles. Thanks for coming for me,” you sigh softly, looking around the forest as you continue to walk away. The sounds of anyone else, all that noise it just disappears, until it’s just the two of you.

“Of course we came for you,” he sighs in reply, and you drop his hand now you know nobody is watching, and wrap your arms around yourself. Unfortunately the feelings from this morning return completely as do his words, repeating on a loop in your mind.

You scoff, unable to help yourself. You move quickly, coming to a stop causing Stiles to follow suit. Allowing you to walk in front of him, so that you’re face to face.

“Why, because I’m Scott’s little sister? Because I’m your responsibility now? Let me save you the trouble Stiles, you’re under no obligation to save me! I was fine before you decided that I was worth your time, and I’ll be just fine after you leave!” You all but scream at him, feeling the anger surging through your body. Somewhere deep inside you know you’re angry at him, furious even, but there’s a very small part of you that feels as though not all of this anger is being aimed in the right direction, but it’s like you just can’t control yourself.

Stiles looks taken aback for a moment, though you can see that your words have hit their target, and hit hard by the look of hurt that crosses his face. Although he also looks worried, he still steps closer, and you clench your fists at your sides as he cups your cheeks in his hands.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry, Sadie. I was such a fucking idiot this morning, you caught me off guard, and as usual my stupid mouth said shit I hadn’t even processed yet. What I should have said was that I was scared to tell you, of all people, what had happened to me. I was worried you’d see me differently, stop giving me shit, and I couldn’t lose that look you give me when nobody was watching us.” You feel your anger beginning to calm as he rests his forehead on your own.

“I should’ve told you that I was too chicken shit to make a move before all of this happened, that I’ve never been happier to have almost died. And now that I know how good we are together, I can’t imagine being away from you. I should’ve told you that although it’s only been a day and a half, everything with us feels beyond right,” he takes your hand and rests it over his heart, you let your fist unclench as he lifts his eyes to yours, you feel a tear slide down your cheek. “You calm this beast inside me… well in all the ways that matter at least.” He smirks at you and you feel a smile tugging at your lips.

“Well, I suppose that is a much better answer. You always ramble when you get nervous.” You agree with a smile wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer as he buries his nose in your neck, inhaling deeply.

You wince when his fingers brush the bruises forming on your throat, and you feel the growl in his throat before you even hear it.

“He wont fucking get away with this, Sadie. I promise you. If Scott doesn’t make him pay, I will. Nobody should lay their fucking filthy hands on you.”

Trying to lighten the mood a little, you tip his chin so your eyes meet. Doing your best to take the attention away from the thing that’s making his mood sour.

“Well, everyone except you, of course.”

The purple flares in his eyes as he backs you up against the closest tree. You can’t stop the whimper from slipping past your lips as his body presses in tightly against your own.

“Was that an invitation?” he asks gently, tugging your head back by your hair, so that he can press soft kisses to your throat, masking the other man's scent on your body the best way he knows how.

The kisses come to a stop just as fast as they’d started as Stiles pulls away to look you in the eye.

“Why did you stop!? It was definitely an invitation,” you pout at him, trying to pull off your sulkiest look.

He groans in regret, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, “look, I need to say this before I lose the nerve, as much as I hate to admit it, not everything you said this morning can be talked away between the two of us this quickly.”

Swallowing thickly you meet his eyes, “what do you mean?”

He looks unsure of himself as he runs a hand through his hair, settling on scratching the back of his neck.

“We do need to go see Deaton. Sooner rather than later, you do need your options as much as it kills me that this might come back to haunt me. But we also need to find out what else he knows.”

“I was upset, Stiles. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know you were, with good reason. Sadie this isn’t some kind of trick, I just want you to have all of your options. If we keep going, you know, with this thing between us. Then I think we need to fully understand what you’re getting yourself into, and honestly, I really need to know what the hell is going on with me.” Stiles tells you nervously but with so much passion you’re no longer able to argue.

You sigh sadly before wrapping your arms around his neck again.

“I know you’re right, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

“Trust me, I want to slap myself right now.” Stiles sighs, sitting down leaning back against the tree.

You smile and carefully straddle his body, gently sitting down in his lap.

“Okay, so say I agree to go. Will you tell me how long you noticed me watching you?”

You giggle as that playful expression crosses his face and he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.

“You weren’t exactly subtle, Minx.”

“So how long?” you whisper against his lips.

“A few years. I liked it, you’re so beautiful, so smart, like my forbidden little secret,” he murmurs quietly, softly brushing the hair back from your face.

“You should know it was much longer, I had so much planned for you. Still do.”

“Come on, don’t do this to me, not now. I’ve always loved that bad girl sparkle in your eyes.”

You can’t help but grin, and the thick bulge you’re now sitting on is only putting a strain on your self control.

“And you never thought about making a move?”

Stiles bites his bottom lip as his grip tightens around you.

“Oh, trust me. I thought about it regularly. Things have changed though, I won’t fuck you, or make love to you or mark you, not until we know everything. Then as soon as we do and you make a decision. If you choose me, I promise you, a pack of wolves couldn’t stop me from taking and marking what’s mine.”

You moan at his words just before his lips crash against yours, you get lost in the passion as you grind your hips against his, the two of you holding onto each other like the world is going to end. Suddenly Stiles pulls away and his hands grip your hips halting your movements.

“What is it?” you whisper sensing his distress.

“Someone’s coming, trust me and stay close,” He whispers in reply, carefully getting to his feet, he pushes you behind him.

“No matter what happens just promise you’ll stay behind me.” He sniffs the air and his body stiffens under your hands.

“Oh, Mischief,” a haunting voice calls and a shiver races up your spine, you know that voice.

Tags:

@julzdec @lettersofwrittencollective @mogaruke @lilulo-12fanfiction @charmed-asylum @defenderrosetyler @emilyshurley @foxyjwls007 @mylovelydame21 @akshi8278 @peaches0007 @stylesismyhubs @peachyyybabyy @fantasy-myth1 @death-unbecomes-you @coffeebooksandfandom @magssteenkamp @screamxqueenx94 @brien-odylan @riseandshinelittleblossom @ceceliaking-18 @mrs-mitch-rapp93 @missindecision @deans-number-one-fan @onethirstyunicorn @amberboo329 @chewie-redbird @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @ilovewriting06

#stiles stilinski #teen wolf #my brother's best friend #chapter 5 #teenwolf #stiles teen wolf #stiles stilinski x reader #stiles stilinski x you

29 notes · View notes

jule1122 · 4 months

Text

Malex Fic - Am I Giving Enough?

Happy Holidays @miniastrophysicist! I hope you enjoy your @rnm-secret-santa gift. It is a post canon fic focusing on Alex and Michael's path to adopting their first child. There is some emotional hurt/comfort, but it's mostly about them loving and supporting each other on this journey.

I did research the adoption process in New Mexico and stayed as close to it as I could, but I did add and change things to fit the story.

Thank you@angrycowboy for being a wonderfully supportive beta.

Title from "Columbia" by Local Natives

Am I Giving Enough on AO3

Summary: Michael will be a wonderful father, Alex knows this. It's his own ability to be a good parent he questions.

Michael brings it up on a Tuesday, a month after their first anniversary. They’re sitting on the couch together, watching a documentary about echolocation in whales and bats, cuddling and stealing kisses during the commercials. Alex knows he wants to spend the rest of his life just like this.

“I was thinking,” Michael begins as the credits roll.

Alex turns off the television and turns to give Michael his full attention. “About what?” he asks gently when he sees the way Michael is twisting his hands.

“I got the schedule for the adoption orientation meetings, and the one closest to Roswell is in three weeks,” he takes a deep breath and looks at Alex seriously. “I think we should go.”

It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. Alex stares at Michael for a minute before his brain kicks back in. “Orientation, yeah we can, I mean we should,” he stumbles.

“It’s the first step,” Michael reminds him - as if they hadn’t researched and talked about this before. “We have to go before we can apply or anything, and this seemed like our best chance.”

“No, you’re right,” Alex squeezes Michael’s hand and tries to smooth over his misstep. “It makes sense to go when it’s close to home. Just send me the info, and I’ll put it in my calendar,”

“Are you sure?” Michael asks.

“Of course. You know I should take Charlie out,” he adds before Michael can ask him any more questions. Charlie - the retriever mix Michael brought home from the junkyard a few months ago - has been sleeping at their feet and grumbles when Alex nudges him. But he gets up and follows Alex when he calls, sharper than he meant to, “Charlie, door.”

Michael doesn’t bring it up again, but Alex can feel the careful way Michael watches him when they get ready for bed. He turns out the light quickly and pulls Michael close, his whispered good night a plea for Michael to leave it alone for now.

The next day Alex stops by the Wild Pony on his way home from work. It’s early enough that he knows Maria can take a break to talk to him. He’s barely started on his beer when she sits down across from him.

Maria studies him for a moment, narrows her eyes and demands, “What’s wrong?”

“I fucked up, with Michael,” he clarifies. Maria doesn’t say anything, just stares at him until he starts talking again. “He brought up adoption, and I froze.”

“I thought you talked about kids before?”

“We have, but it was always something we would do someday. Now Michael thinks this could be that someday, and I panicked,” Alex shrugs. “He hasn’t said anything, but he definitely noticed.”

“So what are you going to tell him,” Maria asks. “Have you changed your mind about wanting a family?”

“No, I still want that. I just thought we had more time. We’ve only been married a year, and for the first time in my life I’m really happy,” Alex can’t help smiling when he thinks about his life with Michael. “I don’t know if I’m ready to change that.”

“Wanting more time isn’t a bad thing, and I’m sure Michael will understand. But I don’t think that’s the only problem,” Maria adds.

“Michael’s always known what he wants - marriage, kids, a white picket fence and a dad band. He’ll be an amazing father.”

“What about you?” Maria asks when he doesn’t say anything else.

“All I ever wanted was out, and then I wanted Michael. I never pictured myself as a father because I don’t know what one should be. It took me over ten years to figure out how to love Michael. I can’t ask a child to wait for me to figure my shit out.”

“Alex,” Maria takes his hand. “You’re being too hard on yourself. I know you don’t see it, but you are a caretaker at heart. Look at everything you did for Mimi, the way you welcomed Greg back into your life, all the risks you took to protect the people you love. You may not think you know how to love people, but we all feel it.”

“Maria,” Alex looks away to hide the tears in his eyes.

“You need to talk to Michael, Alex, you know that. You’ll be a wonderful father, if that’s what you want. If you aren’t ready now, just be honest about that. But if it really is fear holding you back, have more faith in yourself. Besides you already have Charlie,” Maria teases, knowing Alex needs the mood lightened.

“Charlie is a dog,” he gives Maria an unimpressed look.

“A dog with homemade food, more toys than most children and who you or Michael take to work if you think he looks lonely.”

“You might have a point,” Alex concedes with a sheepish smile. They talk for a few more minutes, general catch up, until Maria gets called back to work by one of the bartenders. “Thank you,” Alex hugs her before he leaves, feeling more settled than when he arrived.

The house is quiet when he gets home. Alex laughs, thinking of Maria’s teasing when he realizes Michael must have taken Charlie to the junkyard with him. So Alex starts dinner and throws in a load of laundry. A few minutes after he takes the lasagna out of the oven, Michael walks in, Charlie at his heels.

“Smells good,” he compliments before greeting Alex with a kiss.

“Thanks, you want to shower while it cools?”

“Only if you come with me,” Michael pulls at Alex's hand.

It’s easy to follow. To let Michael run the water hotter than Alex would and set up the shower chair. He pulls Michael into his lap and washes his hair for him, loving the way Michael arches into his touch. Michael stands up long enough to wash himself quickly while Alex does the same, then he’s back in Alex’s lap.

“My turn,” he says, reaching for the shampoo.

It doesn’t take long, but Michael lingers. Running his hands through Alex’ hair long after the shampoo is rinsed out, kissing his neck and mindlessly rolling his hips into Alex’s.

“Let me,” Alex says when the friction is just shy of enough. He reaches down and strokes their cocks together, everything slippery and warm, his hand gliding easily until they both come.

Michael pours them each a glass of wine with dinner, and Alex lets himself relax into the evening, waiting until they’re once again cuddling on the couch to bring up his concerns.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he begins.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Michael tells him. “But I do want you to tell me what’s wrong. I thought this was something you wanted too.”

“It is. I do want a family with you. But realizing it might actually happen scared me.” It’s hard for Alex to admit that, but he pushes forward. “When I think about us having kids, I can see you with them, but I can’t figure out how I fit in. I am afraid I won’t know how to be a parent.”

“Alex, I’ve always wanted kids, you know that. But I would never force that on you. And I wouldn’t,” Michael pauses before speaking again. “I wouldn’t bring kids into a home if I wasn’t sure they would be safe and loved. I know your heart, Alex, maybe better than you do.”

Alex kisses Michael softly then rests his head on his shoulder. “You think I can do this?”

“I do,” Michael reassures him. “But you don’t have to. Especially if you’re only doing it for me.”

“I wouldn’t be,” Alex shakes his head and kisses Michael’s shoulder. “The orientation is just the first step right?”

“Right, and the whole process takes time. They aren’t just going to hand a bunch of kids over to us after a presentation. It’s not a commitment.”

“But it’s a start. I think we should go.”

“If you’re sure,” Michael confirms.

Alex might never be completely sure, but he knows he wants to try. “I am.”

Alex doesn’t know if it is intentional, but the orientation feels like a support group meeting. The chairs are arranged in a semicircle surrounding a long table for the speakers. There’s coffee and water for tea and a platter of cookies from one of the big chain stores.

There are only about ten other people there, and while Michael chats with the couple closest to them, Alex sits silently, clutching Michael’s hand. They are asked to introduce themselves, and he lets Michael handle that too, smiling when he says “this is my husband Alex.” But he lets the rest of the introductions fade into the background as he studies the room for exits, checks for threats he knows aren’t there.

The first half is a presentation reviewing the steps of the adoption process. Alex and Michael know them - application, 32 hour parenting class, 4 mandatory counseling sessions, home study, interviews with family and friends. Alex’s mind stumbles on the last one, grateful again his father is dead. He knows, though, he never would have attempted this if Jesse were still alive, never would have taken the risk, no matter how small, that Jesse could hurt another child.

Michael’s a little restless during the presentation, and Alex doesn’t blame him. The material is dry, and Michael has it all memorized. But Alex appreciates how each step is broken down in detail. It helps him to treat this like a mission with a series of individual tasks they can accomplish in pursuit of a larger goal.

They take a break after, and Alex tries to socialize a bit while he makes himself and Michael each a cup of bad coffee. Alex has spent so much of his life hiding, it’s hard for him to answer questions without searching for an ulterior motive, and he’s relieved when they are called back to their seats.

For the next hour, three couples talk about their adoption experience. Alex appreciates that they don’t try and sugarcoat it. They do talk about the good stuff - the first time their adopted child calls them mom, the first Christmas they got everything on the list from Santa, seeing their child graduate, even grandchildren. But they talk about the hard parts too - the kids who will never call them mom and dad, the older children who needed a mentor more than a parent and don’t keep in touch, hearing the horrors their children experienced and knowing they can never make it all go away.

Some of the couples look at each other nervously, and Alex wonders if they will change their minds. He wouldn’t blame them, but Alex feels better after hearing the stories and realizing that it’s hard for everyone, that he won't be the only one who struggles.

When Michael asks him what he thinks on the way home, he's able to be honest when he answers, “I think we can do this.”

They fill out the application that night, and two weeks later they have their intake interview with a social worker named Beth. Alex did his research before the appointment and knows Beth is a few years older than they are and has worked for New Mexico’s Children, Youth and Families Department since she received her Masters Degree. She is welcoming and cheerful in a way that makes Alex want to ask her how she hasn’t burned out yet.

They talk about their schedules and hobbies, the people in their lives, and it’s easy in a way Alex knows not to trust.

Beth’s smiling when she tells them they’re almost done, but Alex can tell from how she’s watching them, the calculation in her eyes, that this is probably the only part of the whole interview that matters. “Last question, why adoption with CYFD? There are other, easier, ways to start a family. So why choose this?”

“Like I told you,” Michael begins, “I grew up in the system. And while I’d like to believe it’s gotten better, even good foster homes can’t replace a family. They’re good kids, stuck waiting for someone to love them, and if Alex and I can do that for at least a few of them, we want to.”

Alex squeezes Michael’s hand and wishes for the millionth time he could go back and change things for him. Beth turns her attention to him, and he knows he needs to answer, that he can’t rely on Michael to carry him through this. “One thing you’ll find out eventually is that I grew up in an abusive home,” Alex clears his throat and forces himself to keep talking. “Michael and I both know what it’s like to grow up without a safe or loving home. And what I didn't realize until I was older is how much that affects everything you do, every choice you make. It limits your life in ways you don’t notice because you are so busy trying to survive that you can’t really dream or take risks. We can give that, a safe and loving home, for kids who need it so they’ll be able to be who they want to be, not just who they are allowed to be.”

He can see Michael trying to hide his surprise - not at one Alex said, but that he was willing to share it with someone else. Beth seems pleased with his answer though, so Alex thinks his discomfort is worth it. Alex isn’t sure it will ever be easy for him to share his feelings, but opening up to Michael is the best thing he’s ever done, now he just has to keep trying.

“Ok,” Beth clasps her hands together, bringing their attention back to her. “Let’s talk next steps. You can register for the parenting class online, and Caleb will be your therapist.” She slides a business card across his desk. “You can call his office to set up your appointments. Once those two things are done, we’ll move on to interviews with your family and friends, background checks for anyone who might be alone with the children. Then your home study, and you’ll be in the home stretch.”

They decide to start with the parenting classes, partly because they are only offered a few times a year and partly because neither of them are eager to dive into counseling. It’s obvious most of the other participants view the class as a formality - a box to be checked off rather than something they need. And Alex understands, the information is basic, designed to cover the most common questions and scenarios, but it hits him and Michael differently.

They even joke about it with Sam and Meredith, an older couple in the class. They had their children young and decided fostering was the best answer to their empty nest syndrome. “It was either this,” Meredith explained, “or pestering our children for grandkids we know they aren’t ready for.”

“This class must be pretty useless to you,” Michael remarks. “You already raised your kids, you know what you're doing.”

“One thing we definitely learned,” Sam says with a laugh, “is that when it comes to kids you never really know what you are doing. This early stuff is old hat, we know what we need for the house, know kids need clothes and toys. But we are hoping they’ll talk more about how to help kids through the transition to foster care, how to make them feel like it is a home, even if it’s temporary. That’s what we need.”

“Do you think we’ll learn anything that will prepare us for that?” Alex asks.

“No, not really,” Meredith admits. “But any tips will help.”

It’s one of those early sessions that leaves Michael quiet and withdrawn. Even Alex isn’t giving the presenter his full attention - periodically checking his email - while they review the physical requirements expected of a foster home. He can feel the disinterest in the room as the topics reviewed feel like they should go without saying - running water and electricity, enough beds for all the children in the home, supervision to make sure the children attend school, commitment to providing fresh, hot meals.

But Alex feels Michael tense beside him, and he remembers nothing should be taken for granted. Michael’s quiet all night, hanging back while Alex talks to Sam and Meredith about good places to shop for children’s furniture and clothing. He doesn’t say much on the way home either, waiting until they are in bed - Alex wrapped around him from behind and Charlie sprawled across their feet - to bring it up.

“Do you think there were families like Sam and Meredith then, and what - I just didn’t get them?” he finally asks. “Bad luck of the draw?”

Alex hesitates because there is no good answer. “I think there have always been good and bad families, all we can hope is they are getting better at weeding out the bad.”

Michael snorts. “Can’t do much worse than they did with me.”

“You deserved better,” Alex tells him, slipping his hand under Michael’s tank top and resting it over his heart. “You deserved better then and you deserve better now.”

“I have better now,” Michael squeezes Alex’s hand. “I have the best now, but when you take a kid with a shit life and tell them you are going to make it better only to put them in a situation that’s just as bad, if not worse, it’s pretty hard for them to believe they deserve better.”

Alex knows there is nothing he can say to heal that hurt so he kisses the back of Michael’s neck and holds him tighter.

As the class progresses, it’s Alex who becomes unsettled. The focus shifts to understanding what traumas children in the system might have gone through, and how to handle common parenting situations. Participation becomes part of the class as they are asked to share ideas and concerns as a group. The more Alex listens and hears what a family should be like, the more he realizes just how much Jesse hurt him.

It’s not just the physical abuse - Alex likes to think he came to terms with that years ago. But it’s seeing how Jesse harmed him in other ways. How he isolated Alex, by restricting his free time and more tellingly by turning his brothers against him. Jesse continually set Alex up for failure and then used his failure against him as an example of weakness. He singled Alex out for criticism and punishment in ways that made it seem like Alex was the problem.

In hindsight, Alex realizes they should have taken a break after the parenting classes before scheduling their counseling sessions. They wanted to keep the process moving, but Alex was resistant to therapy in general, and going into when he was haunted by Jesse in ways he hadn’t been since the first months after his death was not his best decision.

They meet up with Maria the night before the first session, and the familiar comfort of spending time with her lulls him into a false sense of security.

“I can’t believe you're going to a therapist named Caleb,” she teases.

“What’s wrong with Caleb?” Michael asks at the same time Alex says, “I researched him, and his qualifications are legitimate.”

Maria ignores Alex and answers Michael instead. “I don’t know, Caleb just sounds like a frat boy.”

“I think you’re confusing Caleb with Chad,” Alex smirks at her.

Maria sticks her tongue out in response. “But seriously,” she says after they stop laughing, “how are things going?”

“Good,” Michael says, looking to Alex for confirmation. Alex nods and pulls Michael closer against his side. “We have a lot left to do, but each step we take makes it feel more real, like it will actually happen.”

“I can’t believe it,” Maria shakes her head. “I guess if any of us were going to be parents, it would be you two. But still.”

“We’ve got some time left before that happens,” Alex reassures her. “Did I tell you we’re looking for a house?”

“No! You want to move?”

Alex shrugs, “I wasn’t thinking about a family when I bought the house. We need something with more bedrooms and a bigger yard.”

Maria looks at him, and Alex can tell she’s trying to read him, see if his doubts are lingering. Whatever she finds makes her smile, “Not that you need it, but good luck - with the house and all of it.”

Alex wishes for Maria’s luck when Michael slams the door open after they come home from their first session with Caleb.

“What the hell was that, Alex,” he demands.

“I don’t know why you’re mad at me. I didn’t do anything,” Alex insists even though he knows that’s not exactly true.

“That’s one way to put it,” Michael agrees sarcastically. “You barely said a word, and you looked at Caleb like he was one step away from becoming the subject of a Deep Sky investigation. Could you have made it any more obvious that you didn’t want to be there?”

“That’s not what I was doing.” Alex reaches for Michael only to sigh when Michael crosses his arms and steps back. “I need this session to study him, to figure out what he wants from me.”

“What does that even mean?”

“There were times in the Air Force - after a bad mission or after I got hurt - that I had to be cleared before returning to duty. It was routine, we knew what to say. ‘Loss of life is regrettable but unavoidable. My belief in our mission remains steady.’ And just as important we knew what not to say. You didn’t admit that you hadn’t slept for a week because of nightmares or that you had no idea what the actual mission was. I don’t know the script here, and I just need time to figure it out.”

“Alex,” Michael sits on the couch and holds out his hand for Alex to join him. “This isn’t a test.”

Alex sits next to Michael, but only raises a brow in response.

“Ok,” Michael concedes, “ it is a test. But not one you need to cheat to pass.”

“We were trained to say the right thing, to never consider the truth.” Alex picks up Michael’s hand, playing with his fingers before lacing them with his. “I’m not trained for this, and I don't want to screw this up for us.”

“You won’t. I know it’s hard, and there are secrets we have to keep. But we aren’t trying to win here, we’re trying to be good parents. Obviously, we can’t tell Caleb I am an alien,” Michael begins.

“Or that my father ran a prison for aliens and my brother killed him,” Alex finishes.

“So those are things that are off limits,” Michael laughs. “But who we are, the things we went through, and who we want to be, we don’t have to be ashamed of any of that. We’re good people Alex, we don’t need to hide that.”

“I love you,” Alex tells him because he has to. Michael’s come so far, and Alex won’t let his fear hold him back. “I’ll try next time.”

“I love you too. And you won’t be there alone. I’ll be right there with you.”

It’s still hard at the next session to open up. He listens to Michael talk about his fear of not being good enough, of always being the one left behind. Pride at Michael’s courage and honesty wars with his own guilt for being one of the people who left Michael behind. They’ve been holding hands since they sat down, and Alex rubs his thumb in soothing circles as Michael talks.

When Caleb turns his attention to Alex, he grips Michael’s hand tightly as he stumbles through a description of his childhood, the hole his mother’s absence left, and the fear his father instilled in him.

Caleb studies him for a moment before asking, “What’s the worst thing your father did to you?”

Alex opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He turns to Michael, can’t help looking at his hand, but the answer still doesn’t come. Finally he says, “He made me afraid to be happy.”

Michael makes a noise when he hears Alex’s answer, and even Alex is surprised by what he said, but he knows it’s true.

“And now?” Caleb prompts him.

��I’m happy and he’s dead,” Alex answers without thinking about it. This time Michael laughs and even Caleb smiles.

“We can work with that,” he tells Alex.

Alex feels himself relax for the first time since they met Caleb. It's not that therapy is easy, but Alex stops fighting it. Caleb gives them homework each session. Sometimes it’s easy- like list five ways Michael thinks Alex will be a good father and vice versa. Sometimes it seems easy, but brings up more than they expect - like the time he asks Michael to list the people in his life he knows he can count on and give an example of when they have been there for him. Michael can only work on it a person at a time, the reality of the support he has overwhelming. And other times, it ties them up in knots from the beginning - like asking Alex to list the ways he’s not like his father. He has nightmares for days, but feels freer when they discuss it in their final mandatory session.

When Caleb signs off on their confirmation form, they ask him to take them on as regular clients. They agree to start with monthly sessions, and it feels like a good thing, not a punishment. Alex has never been afraid to work for what he wants, and he can do what he needs to so he’s a good father.

Midway through their mandatory sessions, they find a house. It’s in a rural section of Roswell, but still only twenty minutes from the center of town. The house is big and needs some updating, but Michael is happy to handle that with some help - or at least company - from Max. The best part is the setting. The house sits on five acres - already fenced in and includes two barns. Once the home study is over, they plan to convert one of the barns into a workshop for Michael to replace his bunker. And as for the other, Michael is talking about chickens before they even move in.

“Kids first, then livestock,” Alex teases him. He surprises Michael with a greenhouse, and that’s enough to occupy him for a while.

Everything seems to be falling into place, and Alex can’t help but notice how excited Michael is becoming. He points out families with children when they are out, nudging Alex and whispering, “That will be us soon.”

Michael’s meant to be a father, Alex has known this for a long time. It’s easy to picture Michael showing a little boy the alien Rosa drew in the Crashdown window or walking through downtown with a little girl riding on his shoulders. But now Alex is starting to see himself there too. He can imagine himself swinging their daughter off Michael’s shoulders to give her a kiss or helping their son finish the sundae he begged for, but can only eat half of. It surprises him how much he wants it, how much he wants to share all that with Michael.

Alex thought therapy would be the worst part of the process, but the home study is more stressful than he expected. They’ve talked to Beth a few times since their initial interview, and Alex is used to her cheerful determination. He assumed she would be doing the home study, but they are required to use an approved company which means dealing with a stranger.

It’s a struggle not to bristle at the feeling of being judged, of knowing all his answers are being dissected. But Alex does his best to be honest, and realizes how far he’s come when he can answer a question about what type of father he wants to be with something other than a sarcastic remark about anything being better than the example he had growing up. Michael is charming, and Alex tries, but it’s still a relief when Beth calls to tell them they passed with flying colors.

Alex always knew he would be the one to ruin it.

“Alex!” Michael throws open the door of the truck. “Are you ok?”

It’s a stupid question, they both know Alex isn’t ok. They’re supposed to be in Beth’s office making a plan to meet the children they would potentially adopt. Instead, Alex is sitting in the truck trying, and failing, to hold back tears. He only made it through the first ten minutes of the appointment before bolting, and he can’t imagine what Michael must be thinking.

Alex feels Michael’s hand on his leg, his touch tentative in a way that makes Alex feel even worse.

“What’s going on?” Michael asks quietly. “If you changed your mind, you just have to tell me.”

“It’s not that,” Alex says hastily. He wipes his face, but looks away from Michael or he knows the tears will continue. “I still want a family with you, I do, I just can’t”

“Can’t what?” Michael prompts when Alex doesn’t continue. “Come on, move over,” Michael tells him with a sigh. He climbs in and sits next to Alex when Alex slides over to the middle of the seat. It takes some maneuvering, but Alex ends up leaning on Michael’s chest, Michael’s hand stroking his back. “You need to talk to me, Alex. Not to be dramatic but you're starting to freak me out.”

“I can’t pick,” he admits quietly. Alex knows this is his own fault for being unprepared. This was the only step of the process he hasn’t researched extensively, and it left him blindsided. Alex expected Beth to show them the profiles of the children she thought would be the best fit, they would meet them a few times, and if all went well, they would proceed with the adoption. He was unprepared for her to turn her computer screen toward them, and show them a page filled with thumbnail pictures of children along with brief descriptions of what they like and why they were available for adoption. He could see the multiple page numbers at the bottom of the screen, and it felt like being introduced to the worst kind of dating app.

“What do you mean?”

“How am I, are we, supposed to look at all those kids and decide who deserves a home? How are we supposed to say we’ll take this one, but not that one?” Alex asks, almost pleading for Michael to have an answer he can live with.

“That’s not what we’re doing,” Michael runs a hand through his hair. “Placement is about trying to figure out the best match so that the adoption has the best chance for success. That’s what all the interviews and therapy and home study were about, figuring out which kids will fit with us.”

“And what if we pick wrong?”

“That’s what this meeting is for so Beth can help us. She knows us, she knows some of the kids, and she’s done this before. We aren’t making a final decision today. We can take our time,” Michael reassures him.

“That’s not what I mean. Even if we do everything right, and it all works out, it doesn't mean we didn’t miss something. That we didn’t overlook,” Alex stumbles, trying to find the right words. “I’m afraid that we won’t see, that will leave behind,”

Alex can see the moment Michael gets it. He was right when he said he knew Alex’s heart better than he did. “What if you leave me behind?”

“How many people passed you by without ever really seeing you? You were so good Michael, and you deserved so much more than you got. I looked at that screen, and every kid reminded me of you. I can’t do this,” Alex admits, turning away again so he doesn’t have to look at Michael, and see the kindness he doesn’t deserve. Alex had been expecting Michael to break down at some point, overwhelmed at dealing with the system that had failed him, had been preparing himself to help Michael through it. Instead Alex is the one falling apart, forcing Michael to comfort him.

“Alex, we could adopt every kid Beth shows us, and it won’t change anything for me. You can’t fix what’s already happened.” Michael turns Alex’s face so he’s looking at him again, wiping away his remaining tears and kissing him softly. “If we go through with this it has to be because we are ready to start a family not because you’re trying to save me.”

“I’m not trying to save you, I just don’t want to fail you.”

“I know,” Michael closes his eyes briefly. “And I love you for it. Listen, I’m going to go back in, let Beth know we need to reschedule. Why don’t you call Caleb’s office and see if we can get in this week.”

They don’t talk on the way home, but by silent agreement decide to reset once they get there - doing their best to act like nothing has changed. It’s easier to pretend, at least until their appointment with Caleb. Michael holds Alex’s hand and listens while Alex tries to explain why he panicked. He does his best to reassure Michael that he does want to adopt, but they all agree that it’s best to put things on hold for a month or two so Alex can untangle his feelings about adoption from his feelings about Michael.

Three weeks later, Greg calls.

“Hey, are you and Michael still looking into adoption?”

“Yes,” Alex replies. It’s easier than he thought it would be to answer, but he knows despite his setback, they haven’t given up..

“One of my students is looking for a family to adopt her baby, and I thought you might be interested.”

“Jesus,” Alex says, horrified. “You teach fourth grade.”

“Former student, sorry,” Greg clarifies. “She just finished her freshman year at Stanford and is home for the summer. Baby’s due in a few months, and she didn’t find a match in California so she thought she’d try closer to home. What do you think?”

They never talked about a baby, but as the idea settles in his chest, Alex knows he wants to try. “Yeah, I mean I have to run it by Michael, but I think he’ll want to meet her.”

They meet Amber a week later in Greg’s kitchen. Greg introduces them, and then leaves, telling them to make themselves at home. Amber has dark hair pulled back into a bun and wide, intelligent eyes. Alex’s first thought is that she is too young for this - too young to have a baby, too young to make this kind of decision. But when she starts talking, he realizes quickly that while she may be too young for all this responsibility, she’s not a child.

Michael asks her about school, and she immediately launches into a detailed description of the genetic research she’s doing and the advanced program she was accepted into. Alex doesn’t understand most of what she’s talking about, but she reminds him so much of Liz it almost hurts to look at her.

Michael lights up and starts talking about some of the research he helped Liz with - leaving out the alien origins of it. Alex is happy to sit back and let the details pass him by, drawn in as he always is by watching Michael talk about something he is passionate about.

“Where did you go to school?” Amber asks.

“I didn’t,” Michael’s smile falters. “Had a scholarship after high school, but things didn’t work out. I’m just always studying on my own. Liz, the woman I mentioned, she has multiple doctorates so I just follow her lead.”

“You more than keep up,” Alex reminds him. He lifts Michael’s hand - his left hand - and kisses it softly. He knows what happened in the shed isn’t the only reason Michael gave up college, but a part of him will always hold some guilt over Michael’s lost dreams.

Amber’s eyes dart between them before she turns her attention to Alex. “What about you?”

“I was in the Air Force for about ten years. Got my degree while I was enlisted, computer engineering.”

“Alex is one of the best hackers in the world,” Michael says proudly.

Alex shoots Michael a look, not sure his hacking skills are something to brag about. “I mostly work in research data analysis now. The company I work for tries to take the information available to us and apply it to previously unexplained events or phenomena like,” Alex searches his mind for an example he can share, “the Bermuda Triangle. I was trained in code breaking in the military so my sub specialty is languages. There is a lot we can use computers for when it comes to recovering dead languages or translating symbol based languages.”

What he doesn’t say of course is his interest in language is fueled by his need to discover how many previously dismissed references to aliens are real. So much of his work is rooted in getting answers for Michael, but he can’t tell Amber that. Still, she seems happy with his answer.

“So you understand then, why I need to go back to school. Why I can’t let this,” she gestures to her stomach, the first real reference any of them have made to why they are there, “stop me.”

Alex nods, not sure what to say. But he remembers her enthusiasm when talking about her research and how her smile dimmed when even the possibility of her not returning to school was mentioned, and he reaches for the notepad Michael brought with him, writes down Liz’s email and hands it to Amber. “This is Liz, our friend's email. She would be a great resource or mentor. Her parents are immigrants so she knows what it’s like to be a minority woman in science. She’s told us about how much her mentor helped her, and I know she would be happy to talk to you.”

“I didn’t offer you the baby yet,” Amber reminds him, her eyes narrowing.

“It’s not a bribe,” Alex explains, hoping he didn’t screw things up already. “Like I said, Liz knows the challenges you’ll face, and it shouldn’t be any harder for you than it needs to be. If we’ve learned anything from working with her, it’s that changing the work is a lot easier with help. It’s just an offer, no strings.”

“Ok,” she nods and takes the paper. “I have some questions.”

She doesn’t ask them anything they haven’t been asked before - by Beth, by Caleb, during the home study. But Alex tries to be more open, a little more honest with her. They show her pictures of the house and of Charlie. Michael talks about his plans for chickens and maybe goats, shows her the greenhouse and the fields.

“This is our first crop of sunflowers at the house. See how tall they are already. Sanders grumbles about the drive, but he knows we have better soil,” he says proudly.

“Sanders?” Amber asks.

“Sanders and I have been growing prize winning sunflowers for a few years now. He’s my boss at the junkyard, but he’s family too. He’ll be the closest the kids will have to a grandfather.”

“Don’t forget Arturo,” Alex adds.

“True. But Sanders, uhh, here let me show you.” Michael pulls something up on his phone and hands it to Amber. “He’s not much for pictures, but he let us take a few at the wedding.”

Michael ends up going through the whole wedding album he has saved on his phone, introducing her to everyone in their family as he scrolls through the photos. “Are you singing?” Amber asks when they come to a picture of Michael on stage.

“Yeah,” Michael blushes and rubs the back of his neck. “It was a surprise for Alex at the reception. But he’s the real musician in the family. Writes his own music, he’s even written me a few songs. He’ll definitely be in charge of singing the kids to sleep.”

“What do you play?

“Guitar and keyboard mostly. We bought a piano when we bought the house and that’s what I like to compose on. My first guitar was actually a hand me down from Greg,” Alex laughs. “Michael had it for a while too.”

Amber looks curious at the mention of Greg. “How long have you been married? Was Greg still in the Navy?”

“No, he couldn’t make the wedding because of school,” Alex explains, assuming she is wondering why he wasn’t there.

“We’ve been married almost two years,” Michael adds. “But it’s been on and off since high school.”

“High school?” Amber’s eyes widen. “Sounds like an epic love story.”

“Cosmic,” Michael mumbles. Alex elbows him, but smiles.

“It took us a while to figure things out, but we’ve always loved each other. It’s always been Michael,” Alex shrugs.

Amber hands the phone back to Michael, “It seems like you have a beautiful family.”

“Thanks, I know it’s probably a cliche, but that’s what we want for our kids. From what we told you, I’m sure you figured out our childhoods sucked.” They all laugh. “But we can give our kids all the things we didn’t have. A place to run around, a chance to just be kids and do whatever they want if that’s sports or art or reading. They can do what they want and have the freedom to make mistakes because they’ll have people who will love them and support them no matter what. More than just us, you know.”

“I know you have questions too, but I’ll just get the big ones out of the way. There’s no father, at least not one that I can name. I aced my first big exam and decided to celebrate. Found out there really is such a thing as being blackout drunk. I woke up the next morning on someone’s couch with half my clothes missing. I have no idea who I was with. Is that a problem?”

Amber tells the story with no emotion, just a statement of fact, and Alex can tell she doesn’t want sympathy so he just shakes his head and sees Michael do the same.

“Good,” Amber nods. “I was working with an agency in California so I’ve had all the counseling sessions. I’m not going to change my mind. I don’t know if I ever want to be a mother, but I know I don’t want to be one now. I’d have to move back here, drop out of Stanford, and what, if I’m lucky, go to community college once she starts school?”

“She?” Michael asks. Alex sees him wince, knows he didn’t mean to interrupt, but they hadn’t known the baby was a girl.

“Yes, and she deserves better than a mother who resents her. I worked too hard to get into Stanford to become another girl from the rez who can’t hack in the real world,” Amber stops, bitterness lacing her voice, and shakes her head. When she speaks again, her tone is softer. “That’s what happened to my mom, and she always told me I ruined her life. I want better for her.”

Before either of them can respond, Amber excuses herself to go to the restroom. She seems more composed when she comes back, accepting the iced tea Alex poured while she was gone.

“So what do you want to know?”

Alex turns to Michael, watches as he picks up his notebook and turns to his list of questions. “What kind of contact do you want after the adoption,” he asks.

“None,” Amber shrugs. “I don’t know how to explain this without sounding like a bad person, but I don’t think of her as my daughter. This is a process I’m going through, and once she’s born my part is done. My grandmother would probably like a picture every now and then, but that’s up to you. She lives here so you can contact her through Greg if you want.”

That brings up a concern Alex has. “Obviously you know Greg’s my brother, but other than visiting him the last few years, I haven’t been on the reservation since my mom left. I don’t have much of a connection to that side of my heritage. Is that a problem?”

“Will you answer questions if she has them? Help her learn what it means to be Native if she wants?” When Alex nods she seems satisfied. “That’s enough. When I go back to school I’m never coming back so it would be pretty hypocritical of me to judge you for that.”

“She would spend time here, with us and Greg, it just isn't’ something that’s part of our daily lives,” Alex clarifies.

“What else?” she asks.

Alex watches Michael look over his list of questions before closing the notebook. “I don’t think there is anything else we need to know.” He looks to Alex for confirmation. “This is for you to get to know us, see if we might be the kind of people you want to adopt your baby. We’re not here to judge you. So if you have more questions or want to see the house or whatever, go for it. But we’re good.”

“Ok,” Amber agrees.

“So, we can give our numbers or you can reach out though Greg once you’ve made a decision,” Alex tells her.

“I met with several families in California, and they were all nice, but it never felt right. I think it’s because I was waiting for you. I don’t need time. If you want her, she’s yours.”

“Really,” Michael’s face lights up.

“Of course we do, thank you,” Alex forces out, his throat tight. “We have a case worker so we’ll get in touch with her and figure out what’s next.”

When they are walking out to their cars, Alex texting Greg to let him know he can come back, Michael stops Amber. “I do have one question. Do you have any thoughts on a name?”

“She’s your daughter, you pick the name,” Amber reminds them. “Just let me know, and I’ll have it put on the original birth certificate.”

They sit in the truck together and watch her drive away, Michael making no move to start the truck. “We’re going to be dads. I can’t believe it,” he turns to Alex, tears shining in his eyes.

“We have a daughter,” Alex says in awe. He gives Michael a watery smile.

“Do you want to name her Nora?” he asks Michael once they are on the way home. Michael turns to briefly look at him, but doesn’t answer right away.

“She needs her own name,” Michael tells him once they are home. “I don’t want her to feel like she has to live up to something or be a replacement.”

They call Beth the next morning. She tells them that since Amber is an enrolled member of the Tribe, the adoption needs to be approved by the Tribal Council. That also means Beth can handle the paperwork rather than requiring them to go with a private agency that handles infant adoptions. She meets them at the hearing, and Alex can’t help but apologize for not following through on their plans.

“Alex, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Would I have loved to place one of my kids with you, of course I would. But a child who needs a family is going to be raised in a loving home. How can I not see that as a win?”

“It feels like this is what was supposed to happen,” he admits.

“Then let’s go get you your daughter.”

Since Alex is also an enrolled member, and they’ve committed to enrolling the baby, the hearing is mostly a formality. Greg comes and speaks on their behalf, and in less than an hour, the adoption is approved.

The hearing is also the last time they see Amber in person. They talk for a few minutes after, but Alex can tell while she’s obviously relieved, she doesn’t want to linger. Her smile brightens when Michael tells her the name they’ve chosen, Amirah Estelle.

“It’s beautiful, I think she’ll love it.”

There’s no way to thank her for what she is giving them so they just try not to make it awkward. They introduce her to Beth, and quietly say goodbye, leaving them to discuss the details of what comes next for Amber.

Their second anniversary falls a month before Amber’s due date, and they spend a week at Eduardo’s villa in Mexico celebrating. It has a private beach, and Alex watches the sun turn Michael’s skin a deep gold while lightening his curls so he glows in a way that makes Alex’s chest hurt. Alex spends hours licking the salt from Michael’s skin while they get sleepy drunk on Valenti’s family tequila. It’s perfect and the days stretch out and go by too fast at the same time.

“We won’t be able to do this next year,” Michael says on their last night.

Alex looks up from where he’d been dozing on Michael’s chest, listening to Michael’s heartbeat while Michael stroked his hair. “Someone will take her for a few days, or we’ll just bring her with us.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah,” Alex props himself up on his elbow. “I was afraid of losing this when you first mentioned kids. I was worried about losing parts of you, but now I’m more excited about the parts of you I’ll gain.”

“Like what?” Michael asks, wiggling down on the bed so their faces are even.

“I want to see you hold our daughter, I want to see you show her the stars, and I want to see if you’ll be strict about homework or get thrown out of Little League games or if you’ll be the one to braid her hair. I love everything about you, Michael. And now I get to see you as a father and love you even more.”

“Alex,” Michael breathes, blinking back tears. “I love you so much, and I can’t believe I get to have a baby with you. You are going to be an amazing father.”

“I hope so,” Alex smiles at Michael’s confidence in him. “But in the meantime, we should take advantage of our time alone. He kisses Michael, laughing when Michael rolls them over, and there’s no more talking after that.

They come home to find a nursery painted in a muted version of the Oasian sky, stars dotting the ceiling and iridescent butteerflies and glowing birds flying across the walls. The empty room they left behind is fully furnished, the closet and dresser filled with clothes.

“You said no baby shower, but you didn’t say no gifts,” Isobel reminds them when she shows them the room. “Rosa’s been working on the design for weeks with Max so you better like it.”

It’s beautiful, and he and Michael find themselves in there several times a day. Seeing the space for a baby in their home makes their impending parenthood finally feel real.

Beth is the one to call them when Amirah is born, and she meets them when they arrive. “She looks great,” she immediately reassures them. “Healthy and strong. The hospital will keep her for forty-eight hours, and you can stay with her in one of the family rooms off the NICU. If Amber signs the relinquishment papers, you can take her home after that.”

Neither of them ask what will happen if Amber doesn’t sign the papers, because they can’t think about that when they desperately want to meet their daughter. She’s sleeping when they first see her, a tiny bundle in the hospital bassinet. The lights are turned down low, but Alex can still see the way her hair peeps out from underneath her hat, see the curve of her cheek.

The nurse in the room fills them in on all her measurements - weight, length, APGAR score. “We want to do two hours of skin to skin contact with both of you to help with the bonding process.”

Alex knew this was coming, but it’s still awkward to take off their shirts and climb into a hospital bed together. He nudges Michael to go first when the nurse comes over with Amirah. She settles her against Michael’s chest and covers them with a blanket. “Feel free to play music if you want or just talk to her. I’ll be back when it’s time for her next bottle. Just hit the alert button if you need anything.”

And then they’re alone, just the three of them. And it hits Alex that it will be the three of them from now on. He and Michael have a daughter. Alex is sitting behind Michael so he tucks his face into his neck so he can see Amirah over Michael’s shoulder.

Alex watches as Michael carefully traces one finger over her face and down her back. Amirah’s still asleep, but she wiggles slightly in response to Michael’s touch. “She’s so beautiful,” Michael whispers.

“Mmmhmm,” Alex hums his agreement. He turns his head to look at Michael, soaking in the love and awe on his face. Tears fall silently, and Alex brushes them away before kissing his cheek.

There’s something intimate and peaceful about this time alone together, Alex holding Michael while he holds their daughter, the room dark and quiet. He understands why the hospital recommends it. Just when Amirah starts to fuss, the nurse comes in with her bottle. She walks them through feeding and changing her. When she is settled and checked over, they rearrange themselves on the bed, and this time the nurse hands Amirah to Alex.

She blinks up at him before falling back asleep, and he can’t believe how small and light she is for all the space she takes up in his heart. Alex doesn’t cry when he holds her. His love for her doesn’t feel soft - it’s fierce and already rooted deeper than he imagined. He told Michael once that he would burn the world down for him, and he knows he would do the same for Amirah in a heartbeat. Alex closes his eyes and settles himself and Amirah in Michael’s embrace and silently promises that her happiness and safety will always be his priority.

Their two days in the hospital are a nice bubble from the world, but they also go by quickly - a crash course in caring for a baby they both need. Research and video tutorials can’t truly prepare them for a living child. They learn that Amber was released the morning after Amirah was born, and she signs the relinquishment papers as soon as the forty-eight hours are up. Greg later tells Alex that Amber spent a week with her grandmother before returning to Stanford for the second summer session.

Beth brings them all the paperwork they need to prove they have custody of Amirah once she is ready to be released. She walks them out, hugging them both once Amirah is secure in her car seat. “I’ll be by in a few weeks to check in on her, make sure you are all settling in. And remember, you can’t post any pictures until the adoption is finalized.”

Michael laughs, “No worries there. Alex has strong opinions about the dangers of social media.”

“It’s not just identity theft, which is easy enough, but anything you post can be manipulated. I can’t believe how vulnerable people leave themselves for a few seconds on validation.” Michael clears his throat, and Alex realizes he probably shouldn’t explain how he can - and has - used social media as a weapon against people he found profiting off stolen alien artifacts. Beth doesn’t need to know he can ruin someone’s life in five minutes without ever leaving his desk.

“I can tell she’s in good hands,” Beth smiles at them. “We’ll talk soon.”

Their first week at home is a disaster. Everything that was so easy at the hospital becomes a battle. Amirah doesn’t want to eat or sleep, she flails through her bath, making both Alex and Michael terrified of dropping her. “Do you think it’s safe for me to catch her with telekinesis if we drop her?” he asks as they struggle to contain a slippery infant.

“It’s better than letting her hit the floor,” Alex admits. “But we should probably stick with just not dropping her.”

Despite their eagerness to introduce her to their family, the constant stream of visitors makes it hard to settle into a routine. Everyone has advice to give even though, Arturo excluded, they have no more experience with babies than Alex or Michael do. Amirah shows a strong preference for Max - quieting the quickest when he holds her. No one can figure out exactly what he’s doing, but it almost always works.

“Well it’s not an alien thing,” Isobel tells them when Amirah refuses to take a bottle from her.

“And it’s not a guy thing,” Kyle says, conceding defeat when none of his doctor tricks work on getting her to sleep.

“Don’t look at me,” Liz hands Amirah back to Max after she spits up on her. “I’ll be her favorite as soon as she’s old enough for her first chemistry set. But for now, Max is the baby whisperer.”

Eventually the visits slow to a manageable level and they settle into daily life with a baby. Sanders bans Michael from the junkyard for two weeks, and Alex has twelve weeks of paternity leave. It’s all bottles and diapers and figuring out snaps on clothes and still remembering to walk Charlie, but they make it work.

The first time Amirah reaches for him, kicking her legs and cooing, when he goes to pick her up, Alex finds himself tearing up. He sits with Amirah in the recliner and lets himself cry the tears he didn’t have at the hospital. As she watches him, eyes too wise for her age, he realizes it is not just about him loving her, it’s also about her loving him, about her looking to him for love and guidance and support.

Michael finds him, and asks carefully, “Are you ok?” When Alex nods, he settles on the floor in front of them, resting his head on Alex’s knee. “It’s a lot, isn’t it.”

“I didn’t realize,” Alex’s voice trails off, not sure what he’s trying to say.

“I know,” Michael says. “She’s everything.”

Alex knows Michael understands everything he doesn’t have words for yet, and he’s so grateful they’re doing this together. “Not just her,” Alex runs his hand through Michael’s hair.

“Yeah,” Michael agrees, turning his head to kiss Alex’s knee. Neither of them move until Amirah demands her dinner.

Amirah’s first cold is a week of sleepless nights and worrying. Three days into it, Isobel arrives with dinner and a promise to walk with Amirah so they can eat and take a nap. The food is delicious, but Alex’s eyes are dropping before he gets halfway through his milkshake. He falls asleep on the couch while Michael is showing Isobel how the vaporizer works.

He wakes to voices and the smell of coffee and realizes Michael and Isobel must be in the kitchen.

“I can’t believe she’s still asleep,” Michael says.

“I may have encouraged her a bit,” Isobel replies.

Alex sits up, suddenly wide awake, but before he can get up he hears Michael say something he can’t quite make out. Isobel laughs in response.

“I’m kidding. No influencing the baby, I got it.”

Alex relaxes again, letting their conversation wash over him, tuning in when something catches his attention.

“You’re a good dad, Michael. I knew you would be,” he hears Isobel tell Michael.

“You’ll be a good mom, too,” he assures her.

“Maybe,” Isobel sighs. “I’m not sure it will happen for me.”

“Hey, my offer of baby gravy still stands.”

Alex makes a face at the same time he hears Isobel snort.

“I told you not to call it that. And while I appreciate the offer, I figure it out myself if I’m ready.”

“If you change your mind, all you have to do is ask.” Michael’s reply is the last thing Alex hears before he falls asleep again.

The next time he wakes up, the house is dark and Isobel is gone. He checks on Amirah and finds her still asleep in her crib, breathing a little easier, Charlie guarding her from the hallway. Michael is also asleep so Alex takes a quick shower before joining him in bed. He watches Michael sleep and thinks of his conversation with Isobel. Since they planned on adopting older children, they never talked about other options. But Amirah changed that, and Alex wonders if Michael wants a child of his own - one with his curls or his quick mind.

He brings it up the next morning after Amirah’s bath. “If we had another baby, would you want to use a surrogate?”

“What?” Michael looks up from where he’d been rubbing lotion onto Amirah’s legs.

“I heard you and Isobel talking last night,” Alex shrugs. “We never considered it before, and I wondered if that’s something you’d want.”

“Nah,” Michael shakes his head before leaning down and blowing a raspberry on Amirah’s belly. “You think I could love this one more if we shared some DNA. No way.”

“It’s not about that, I just want you to have the option.”

“Don’t need it,” Michael insists. “I have no desire to pass on my genetics.” He holds up a hand when Alex starts to protest. “I do it for Isobel if she asked, but it’s not how I want to build our family. I like what we’re doing so far. Ok?”

“Ok,” Alex agrees, picking up Amirah and wrestling her into a clean sleeper.

When Alex’s leave is up, he makes arrangements to work from home three days a week, and Michael adjusts his schedule so one of them is always home with Amirah.

“I can’t believe it,” Liz shakes her head when he tells her. “I thought you’d be dying to get back to work.”

“Not really. Don’t get me wrong, there are some projects I am eager to get back to, but I’d much rather work from home as much as I can.” Alex peeks under the blanket he’d thrown over Amirah to make sure she was still asleep before shifting her a little higher on his chest. Max and Liz had come over for dinner and it was warm enough for Liz and Alex to stay out on the deck while Max and Michael were in the workshop going over something for Max’s next visit to Oasis. She snuffles a little so he kisses her forehead and shushes her softly. “That’s my girl,” he croones once she closes her eyes again.

“You're such a dad,” Liz smiles at him when he looks up.

Alex smiles back, not the slightest bit concerned about letting everyone know how much he loves his daughter. “She makes it easy.”

“No, I think it’s you. You and Michael both, you’re meant for this. Max will be an amazing father, too. And we’re starting to talk about when and how that might happen, but I don’t think I’ll be the one staying home,” Liz admits hesitantly.

“That’s fine,” Alex reaches over and squeezes her hand. “There’s no one way to do this, and you know that. Besides, I don't think there is a safe way to run a genetics lab in the same house as children, and you still have a Nobel Prize to win.”

“True,” Liz laughs.

Alex looks at Liz and finally works up the courage to ask the question he’s been afraid to ask. “Has she reached out to you?”

“Alex,” Liz chides him gently. “Do you really want to know?”

“No,” Alex admits guiltily. “It’s just I’m happy Liz, I’m so fucking happy, but I don’t know if Amber is. And I don’t want to know because,” he tightens his hold on Amirah. “Because I wouldn’t change anything.”

“You’re responsible for Amirah and her happiness, not Amber’s,” Liz tells him.

“It’s hard to remember that when I have her daughter.”

“Amirah is your daughter, not Amber’s. That’s the choice Amber made, and one you and Michael accepted. From what you told me, she knew what she wanted. Don’t take her choice away from her because you feel guilty about being happy.”

Alex knows she’s right, but the closer the adoption gets, the more he worries that somehow he’s unworthy of so much happiness, and he’s going to lose it. He and Caleb are working on it, but it’s a hard demon to shake. “What would you have done,” he asks Liz, “if you had gotten pregnant in college?”

Liz looks stricken when he asks the question, and he instantly feels guilty for even asking. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”

“No it’s ok. Probably something like this,” Liz gestures to Alex and Amirah before biting her lip and looking away. “Or maybe I wouldn’t have let it get this far.”

“Liz,” Alex takes her hand again, mentally berating himself for asking her to bare her soul to comfort him.

She looks up and crosses herself, muttering in Spanish before squeezing his hand. “Papi would be devastated if he knew I thought it let alone said it out loud, but it’s true. I worked so hard to be the smartest, to be the best, and for a long time that’s all I had. I couldn’t have given that up, it would have killed me.”

Alex just shakes his head, not knowing what to say.

“When you are a girl, you’re told anything you want to do, anything you accomplish is temporary. You’re supposed to set it aside one day to be a mother. That’s supposed to be your real dream. But that’s not true for all of us. It’s not true for me, and if Amber’s as much like me as she sounds, it’s not true for her either. What you did, giving her the freedom to follow her dreams, that was a gift. You helped both of them, you didn’t take anything from her.”

“I hope you’re right,” he says softly.

“I’m always right,” Liz insists, breaking the tension.

Amirah’s adoption is finalized when she’s six months out. She’s quiet in Alex’s arms, taking in the unfamiliar environment. But when the judge asks for a picture with the new family, she giggles and pulls at his beard. The picture on their mantle shows all of them laughing, the judge making a funny face at Amirah as she claps her hands.

Since their hearing was in the morning, Maria throws a party at the Wild Pony before it opens. Amirah is happy to be passed from person to person, basking in the attention, leaving Alex and Michael free to socialize and eat using both hands. She crashes a few hours in, falling asleep in Max’s arms.

As things are winding down, Alex boxes the leftover cake and snags Maria by the waist when she walks by to clear away the empty platters. “Thanks for this,” he presses a kiss to her temple.

“I remember you telling me you wanted your kids to grow up in the Pony, so this seemed like a good way to start,” Maria teases him.

“This isn’t quite what I meant,” he says, feeling the gentle tug of nostalgia for the dreams he once had.

“I know,” Maria agrees softly. “But it’s how it was always meant to be.”

“Maybe,” he agrees, looking over to where Amirah is awake and back with Michael, both of them flipping through a picture book Rosa made for her.

They’re not her first steps, but one day Amirah runs from Michael to Alex on unsteady legs, yelling “Da, Da, Da, Da,” and Alex knows what he wants. He catches her in her arms, kissing her face and neck until she is laughing and wiggling to get down so she can run back to Michael.

Alex doesn’t say anything then because it’s easy to be sure when Amirah is happy and Michael is playing with her and listening to her babbling like she’s telling him the secrets of the universe. He waits until after bath time when Amirah screams the whole time because she recently decided she hates getting her hair wet. He waits until he’s more exhausted than she is, but she’s still fighting sleep, her earlier cries whittled down to occasional wet gasps.

He waits while Michael straightens the bathroom and takes Charlies out. He waits until they fall into bed, too tired to do more than cuddle. He waits until nothing is perfect, but he still knows what he wants.

“I think we should call Beth,” he whispers into Michael’s neck.

#miniastrophyicist #rnmsecretsanta23 #malex fic #rnm fic #my fic #future fic #kid fic

33 notes · View notes

talkingtomattyaboutit · 1 year

Text

Bad Decisions

A/N: this is my first fic so pls be nice haha. it’s been probably 5 years since i’ve written anything other than poetry so i would appreciate constructive criticism!! also, i got the ideas for this after getting high and had a dream about being with matty lol. and if you like this and have an idea for a request let me know!! i love writing and i struggle with ideas sometimes. i also am experimenting with different povs so the next one might be different.

warnings: smut (18+), cheating, drugs, spanking, choking, degradation, bit of cnc i guess?, littlest bit of exhibitionism, violence, blood

prompt: Y/N is dating George, she gets high with Matty and cheats on George. “You’re a dirty fucking girl,” and “Tell me I’m better than him.” Also inspired by the video of Matty yelling “FUCKING SAY IT!!

5,586 words

————————

I couldn't help but feel anxious in this situation. I often struggled with anxiety, but this felt different. There I was, sitting alone in the living room of my boyfriend's house. George must have been running late from his 'errands' he had to complete after school. I wasn't stupid, I knew that George always stole some money from his parents to buy coke and weed before they went on a trip. Though sweet, George had little to no self-control or responsibility.

His parents had gone out of town for the week on an anniversary vacation, leaving George by himself. They knew he was capable of surviving on his own for a week, even if that meant eating frozen pizzas every day while they were gone. I always made fun of him for his lack of 'adult skills' that most 17-year-olds have. The boy couldn't even do his own laundry, yet he insisted on moving in with Matty after graduation. I couldn't imagine that duo living together.

The anxiety returned to my chest as I heard a noise come from upstairs of the house. I quickly rose from the couch, walking slowly towards the front door. Did someone break in? I heard heavy but slow footsteps making their way closer to the staircase. I couldn't see the figure, but I heard their low mumbles.

"Who's there?" I questioned, the fear evident in my tone. I knew George's parents would be furious if their house got broken into. I held my breath in, hoping that would mask my fear.

I soon saw two tattooed feet step down the staircase. They were followed by the shadow of long legs, a bare torso, and a mop of curly hair. Matty. Of course.

"Aw, how sweet, you came here for me? I always knew you wanted me more than George." He said with a smirk. He continued his walk down the stairs, meeting me at the bottom.

"Oh fuck off," I let go of the air I was holding in, relieved that there was no threat at all. Except for a threat to my sanity.

"Did I scare you, love?" He questioned. "No, I just didn't know anyone was here. Why are you here?" George hadn't mentioned anyone arriving early, and by the looks of it, Matty had just woken up. His hair was disheveled and the bags under his eyes made me guess that it was a long night. Every night was a long night for Matty.

"George let me stay last night. Too hungover to go home, plus I don't feel like seeing my dad. Not in the mood to deal with that prick." He sauntered over to the sofa, grabbed the television remote, and plopped down. He turned the TV on and opened the Netflix app.

I didn't know when George would get back, so I made my way to the sofa and sat across from Matty. I had only known Matty for a few months, as George introduced me to him shortly after we started dating. I thought Matty was alright. He was funny, and a bit narcissistic, but a good friend to George.

Matty opened Breaking Bad on the TV and pressed play. He reached into his pocket and pulled out what I assumed was a joint, along with a lighter. "How sweet, you saved one for me." I joked, but he rolled his eyes and lit the joint.

"Do you actually want some?" He asked, holding the joint in the corner of his mouth.

"No! I’ve never even smoked before, you know that.” I scoffed at him. I may have hung out with George and Matty’s crowd, but I definitely did not fit in with them. They threw parties often, which I attended, but I never partook in any of their activities. I sat out on most things, cigarettes, joints, alcohol, and even spin the bottle. The hard drugs I never dared to touch, and George didn’t know that I knew they did any.

“Doll, it’s about time you try some. You’ve hung out with us enough. Time to drop the innocent schoolgirl act. Besides, I know what you and George get up to,” He said with a smirk on his face. My eyes widened at his admission. There’s no way George would have told Matty what we did.

“What do you mean, ‘what you get up to’? What did he say?” I questioned, turning my body to face him.

He chuckled and took another drag of his joint. “Let’s see, titty fucking, spanking, and the story of when he took your virginity. Losing it in the backseat of a car is very dirty, Y/N.”

My face was flushed pink. I turned away, fearful that Matty would comment on it. “I can’t believe he would tell you that,” I sighed.

“Darling, don’t worry about it. We’re best mates, after all. Here, let me help you get your mind off of him,” He said, scooting closer to me.

“Matty, what are you doing?” I questioned.

“Nothing, just relax. I’m going to take a hit of this and you’re going to inhale the smoke. It’ll help you feel better, trust me,” He said with a sly grin

“O-okay? I’m not going to get high am I?”

“‘Course not, love,”

Matty’s fingers brought the joint to his lips. His cheeks hollowed, sucking the smoke into his mouth. He ushered for me to come closer, so I did. Our faces were inches apart, yet not close enough for him. He grabbed the back of my head, pulling me closer to him. His lips were almost connecting mine. It felt wrong, the ultimate betrayal to George, but it felt so exciting at the same time. I had never done a ‘wrong’ thing in my life, yet here I am with my lips inches away from the personification of the word wrong.

Matty’s thumb rested below my bottom lip, slowly pulling my lips apart. His lips parted, allowing the smoke to enter my mouth.

“Close your mouth. Hold the smoke in and then inhale,” He whispered. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, but I submissively followed his orders. I felt the smoke burn my throat, causing me to cough violently.

“There it is. Such a good girl,” He whispered.

“Now what do we do?” I asked.

“You’ll start to feel high in like 20 minutes.”

I jumped up from my seat on the couch. My head was already feeling lighter, but that wasn’t going to stop me. “Matty! You told me I wouldn’t get high from that!” I exclaimed.

“How stupid are you? You seriously thought inhaling smoke from a joint wouldn’t do anything to you?” He argued

“I’m out of here. I can’t fucking believe you,” I grabbed my phone from the couch and stuck it between the band of my skirt. I almost made it into the kitchen before a hand grabbed my wrist.

“Y/N, you can’t leave. I’m not letting you wander the streets while you’re high. Get back in there and sit down,” He commanded. His face showed no signs of humor, he must have been serious.

I was losing all self-control, my mind quickly became fuzzy, and threw all responsibility out the window. “Why should I? You lied to me and called me stupid.”

“Y/N, don’t make me say it again. Sit. Down.” He glared down at me, him being easily a few inches taller. Though not as tall as George, the tone in his voice certainly made him seem like it.

I kept my mouth shut, worried I would get reprimanded again. I sighed in defeat. He led me back to the couch and let go of my wrist.

I sat down again and examined the red mark on my wrist. The sight made me shiver. I shouldn’t have liked his harsh grip on me or his harsh words, but I did. George never treated me that way, other than some light spanking when he took me from behind. George was a true gentleman, a kind soul who would do anything for his girl. George treated me like a queen. Matty was the antithesis of George.

Matty was pure darkness, a true mystery. He was unpredictable to others and himself. He was impulsive, daring, and free. Matty was the type of person they teach you to stay away from in school. He truly cared about no one other than himself. Yet, at that moment, he showed a glimpse of care when I insisted on leaving.

“I feel funny,” I whispered to him, my voice now soft and quiet. I let out a giggle on accident. My brain was no longer able to control my body and I knew Matty would enjoy it.

“Good. You’re supposed to.”

“Do you feel funny?”

“Not especially. I’m used to it. But this is your first time, tell me everything you feel.”

I leaned back into the couch, watching Matty attentively. His curly brown hair was out of control, yet perfect. His brown eyes were full of mystery, yet full of passion. His arms were visible thanks to his lack of a shirt. His veins were prominent, almost coercing me towards him. He was sinful.

“I feel like I’m doing something bad,” I said truthfully

“Love, it’s just a bit of weed. It won’t hurt you.”

“No, not that. I keep thinking about you and it feels wrong,” I admitted.

He smirked and sat up from his previous laying position on the couch. “Oh yeah? What are you thinking about?” He questioned. His tone caused my body to feel warm. Matty’s voice was like a drug. I knew I should stay away, yet I kept going back for more.

“Your hands. They’re veiny and they look nice. And your lips whenever you let the smoke into my mouth,” I was hesitant with my words. Even my high brain knew this was wrong.

Matty scooted closer to me, only inches away. His hand moved to rest on my bare knee. “My hands, huh? Well, I’ve been thinking about you too. What my hands could do to you, if you’d let me,” He coaxed.

His hand slowly traveled up my thigh. His fingers rubbed small circles into my skin. My hips involuntarily rose from the couch to meet his grip. He chuckled lightly at my actions.

“Matty, w-we can’t. I’m dating George,” I protested, unsure if I was trying to convince him or myself.

“Y/N, don’t think about George right now. I can make you feel way better than he can,” He whispered into my ear. I let out a sigh mixed with a moan. My head was spinning from the weed and the tension. His fingers felt like both ice and fire at the same time. He was slowly taking over my body. It was evident that I was losing this battle. I could feel the wetness under my skirt. If his fingers moved a few more inches he would be sure to feel it.

“Okay…just a little,” I gave in.

As soon as Matty heard those words leave my mouth, he got to work. He crashed his lips into mine and pulled me into his lap. My hips ground into his slowly. His hands were woven through my hair, gripping and pulling at the strands. I moaned at his pulling, which brought a smirk onto his face.

I leaned down for more, addicted to the taste of weed and tobacco on his lips. His hands traveled quickly from my hair to my back. He slipped his hands under my shirt and gripped my waist. I wasn’t skinny by any means, so I tried to hold myself up so I wouldn’t crush him.

“Babe, just relax. Let me take care of you,” He whispered in between kisses.

“I don’t want to crush you, I’m too heavy,” I whispered back.

“Is that what George tells you? Darling, don’t be afraid to give me your body,” He says and plants a kiss on my cheek.

He resumed his attack on my lips. I let go and laid on top of him fully. My hands were gripping the back of his neck while his moved down to my skirt. One hand gripped my waist while the other traveled under my skirt. His strong hand gripped my ass so tightly that I knew it would leave bruises.

I was becoming short of breath so I parted from our aggressive kiss. He gave my ass a sharp smack, “Did I say you could stop?”

“No, sir.”

“Good fucking girl,” He growled into my ear.

He tried to resume the kiss, but I shoved him back lightly. He looked at me both confused and irritated. I leaned up to take my shirt off, leaving me only in my black skirt and sports bra.

“Let me see all of you, baby,” He said as he lifted my bra above my head. He threw the garment across the room and returned his focus to my body.

His eyes left mine, lowering to my newly exposed breasts. One hand returned to my ass underneath my skirt, while the other gripped at my breast. I let out a loud moan at the contact. It had been a few weeks since George touched me like that.

Matty’s mouth attached to my nipple, sucking and pulling on it lightly. He groped my ass and pulled me closer to him. He repeated this, allowing me to grind into him once again. I could feel his hardness poking my inner thigh. I would gladly help him out, but he seemed to be content with worshiping my body.

His lips left my breast. “Take your skirt off,” He commanded.

I did as he said. I got up from being on top of him and pulled my skirt down my legs. The only thing covering me was my light pink underwear covered in little heart decals.

“So fucking sweet and innocent. Get on your knees for me.”

I lowered myself down onto my knees. He sat up, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. I helped him push his jeans off, leaving his black boxers on.

“Can I touch you, sir?” I asked, batting my eyelashes. I don’t know what overcame me, the weed or Matty, but I became a whole different person. My sex with George was slow and sweet. With Matty, I became a complete harlot, a sinner, a fallen angel.

“Yeah baby, touch my cock for me,” He said. He palmed his hard cock through his boxers, getting it ready for me to take it.

I grabbed the waistband of his boxers and slowly pulled them down. His hard length hit his stomach, tempting me closer. He was big. Not quite as thick as George's but similar in length. I could feel my mouth watering, a mixture of cotton mouth and pure lust.

My innocent eyes looked up at him through long lashes as I gave him an experimental tug. He stared down at me with an open mouth, no sign of pleasure or discomfort. I was nervous. This was only my third time doing this to a guy. I decided to follow my instincts.

I licked from his base to his tip. He sighed, leaning his head back and looking at the ceiling. I gave his tip a few kitten licks before I fully committed. His hands flew to my hair, forming a makeshift ponytail.

I took him into my mouth, starting slow at first. I bobbed my head up and down, staring into his eyes for approval. He moaned my name almost as if he knew I was seeking approval.

“Such a good little girl taking my cock. I know you can take more,” He groaned.

I continued taking his length in my mouth before sinking down all the way, his tip reaching the back of my throat. I had his entire length in my mouth, my eyes were watering, and I was gripping his thighs tightly. He pulled me off by his grip on my hair.

“Fucking hell, Y/N, George never told me you were that good.” He smiled down at me.

Those words should’ve made me do a double-take. I should’ve stopped everything and walked out. I should have. But I didn’t.

Matty pushed my head back down onto his cock. He gripped the sides of my head and quickly thrust into my mouth. His tip was reaching the back of my throat with every thrust. The sounds coming from my mouth were unholy. My spit was running down his length and thighs. I’m sure there would be stains on this couch.

Matty pulled me off his length again. “I need to taste you, baby. It’s not fair he gets you whenever he wants.”

He lifted me up by my arms. “Jump,” He adds. I do as I’m told. He catches me, holding me up by my ass. I can feel his length resting against my ass and I let out a moan. Matty walks us over to the stairs before I interject.

“What are you doing?” I question.

“Taking you upstairs, love.”

He walks us upstairs, clearly struggling to hold my weight with his lanky arms. He kicks open the door to a room I know all too well. I’m thrown onto George’s bed. Images of my lovely boyfriend flood my head. It should be him with me right now, throwing me around and pushing me onto my knees. Matty is staring down at me like I’m his prey, not wanting to waste a second before devouring me.

“Close the door,” I add.

Matty leans down. I feel a sting on my cheek before I even hear it. Matty gripped the cheek he had just slapped. “You’re in no place to make demands.”

“Sorry, sir. What if he comes back?” I was worried about George walking in on us. I wasn’t worried much about getting caught cheating, I was more worried about not being able to finish underneath Matty.

“He’s not coming back soon. I texted him when you got here and told him to get food with Adam for the party.”

I sighed in relief. My high brain only wanted one thing; Matty. The weed made everything feel 100 times stronger, his touches, his words, even his presence. Everything went straight to my core.

Matty pushed me up further on the bed. “I wanna taste you, can I?” He asked.

I nodded, not being able to make out any words. I felt like putty in his hands. I couldn’t think or speak. All I could do was react to his touch.

He spread my legs and pulled down my pink panties. The cool air hit my core, causing me to shut my legs. “Keep them open, Y/N. Don’t make me tell you twice.”

He forged my legs open again and ran a finger down my stomach. He reached my pelvis and applied a slight amount of pressure. “You’re gonna feel me here real soon, baby. I’ll show you how a real man fucks,” He groaned.

His finger traveled slowly down to my clit. He rubbed little circles on my clit, causing my legs to jolt up and almost hit his face. He chuckled at my eagerness. His finger slipped down to gather my wetness.

“Holy fuck, you’re dripping.”

“It’s all for you, Matty.”

“It fucking better be.”

He dipped a finger into my entrance as if to test the waters. I moaned loudly, not having felt this kind of intrusion in weeks. He kept his finger still, waiting for more of a reaction. I huffed, needing more. I lowered my hips down, fucking myself slowly on his finger.

“Greedy little whore. You want me that bad? Beg for it.” He commanded. Strands of his hair were falling out of place, one stray curl was covering part of his eyebrow. He looked beautiful, gorgeous even. He and I both knew I would do anything he said.

“Please, Matty. Please, Please, Please. I’ve been so good for you. You’re so fucking hot, I want you inside of me so badly, please. Please fuck me with your fingers until I can’t walk, please baby.” I cried out.

He smiled, accepting my plea. He plunged his finger further into me, quickly thrusting in and out. He leaned down and licked a stripe up from my entrance to my clit. He began to lick in circles around my sensitive clit. I moaned, and my hand reached down to grip his dark locks.

He added another finger inside me, stretching me out enough for him. The thrusts of his fingers were quick and deliberate. His fingers were long and calloused and they hit the right spots in me. I moaned his name and pulled roughly on his hair.

He slapped my thigh, “Don’t pull my hair you fucking bitch.”

I moaned loudly, surely loud enough for the neighbors to hear. This was nothing new for them, as George and I frequently had fun over the summer. The loudness and shrillness may have been new for them, as George had never made me feel anything as pleasurable.

Matty’s fingers slipped out from inside me. I groaned at the loss of fullness. The fullness was comforting, knowing this was the closest I could possibly be to another human being. His body and mine, intertwined for a short period of time.

“Are you ready for me, baby girl?” He asked. He got on his knees, hovering over me. One hand rested on my knee, keeping my legs apart. The other hand was moving up and down on his length.

“Yes, sir, please give it to me. I want you so bad,” I said, yet it almost came out as a squeak. I was breathing hard and the weed was causing me anxiety. My fears and anxiety were silenced by Matty slowly pushing into me.

We both moaned in unison. He pinned one of my hands down, my other hand was palming my breasts. “Don’t touch yourself, that’s my job,” He grunted.

He pushed his long length into me until he finally bottomed out. He and I were both shaking from the ecstasy of sex and drugs combined. He pulled out slowly, then thrust back into me. I let out a cry, the pace being too slow.

“Faster, Matty, faster.” I cried.

“Don’t tell me what to fucking do. You want faster? I’ll give you fucking faster,” He pummeled into me harshly, forcing my head to hit the bed frame. He didn’t stop for me, he wouldn’t stop for anything. He continued his quick and deliberate thrusts. He gave my cheek a light slap and pulled on my hair.

“Ugh, I’ve wanted this so fucking badly for so long. Take it, baby.” He groaned. I knew it was probably the weed talking, but my heart still fluttered at his words.

My hand gripped the back of his neck and brought him down for a kiss. Our lips devoured each other’s, our tongues battled for dominance. My battle was short-lived, as we both knew I was just a toy for him to ruin. I was okay with that. My fantasy of finally doing something wrong was coming true. I felt like a true sinner.

“You’re a dirty fucking girl, aren’t you? Look at you all fucked out on my cock. Fucking say it, say you’re a dirty fucking girl, Y/N,” he growled. His hand came down on the sides of my throat, squeezing enough to make me even more lightheaded.

I couldn’t speak. His cock pounding into me at a harsh speed was overwhelming. His hand on my throat, his other hand pinning me down, was pushing me over the edge. I let out a small squeak, trying to warn him of my closeness.

He slapped my cheek again, “Fucking say it!” He yelled, quickening his pace. I felt my eyes roll back into my head as my body let go. I had never had an orgasm while high before. It felt unearthly. My body shook, and I felt my core clenching and unclenching around him while he continued thrusting into me. I was seeing colors and I blocked out all noise, including Matty’s grunts and moans. I felt like I was on a cloud.

I was smacked out of my orgasm, literally, by Matty. “Little slut can’t speak when she’s spoken to and she comes without permission. Little girl needs to learn her lesson.” He pulled out of me quickly and flipped me over onto all fours.

I arched my back, knowing that’s what he wanted to see. He moaned and planted a firm smack onto my ass. He pushed back inside me, not waiting for me to readjust at all.

His pace did not falter. The new angle allowed him better access to my g-spot, which he hit perfectly.

“Say you’re a dirty fucking girl,” He moaned into my ear.

“I’m a dirty fucking girl! I’m such a slut for you, Matty! You feel so good,” I moaned out.

“That’s it. You’re doing so good for me. So tight.”

“Give it to me, Matty. Make me come again please!”

My cries were silenced by his hand over my mouth. I grunted into his hand, I wanted everyone in the neighborhood to know how good Matty’s cock felt inside of me.

“Tell me I’m better,” He groans and lifts his hand from my mouth. He places his hands on my hips, slamming my hips back against his.

“What?” I question. He couldn’t be referring to George, could he?

“George, tell me I’m better than George. Has he ever made you come like this, baby?”

His hips pause. He lifts me up and pressed my back against his chest. He holds me up by my arms, his face right next to mine.

I look him directly in the eyes. “You’re so much fucking better than him.”

He moans and pounds into me once again. “Fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna come. Where do you want me?”

“I-I’m close too. Come inside me, Matty, please. He’s never done that before,” I moan into his ear.

My brain was so fuzzy, I didn’t process the sound of the front door opening or the sound of George and Adam laughing downstairs. Matty most certainly heard them since a wide grin appeared on his face.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna come. Tell me I’m better again,” He whines.

My tits were bouncing, my mouth was agape. Matty’s eyes burned into mine, not daring to break eye contact. It was a sinful scene. It was a sight straight out of a porn. I reached down to rub circles at my clit, bringing myself closer to the edge.

“You’re better, Matty! You’re better than George!” I screamed with one final rub of my finger. My climax washed over me for the second time that day. I fell back onto Matty’s chest and my hands reached up to grab the curls at the nape of his neck.

I couldn’t process the sounds around me once again, but I felt Matty’s thrusts slow until he pounded into me one last time. I could feel his warmth shoot through me. He grabbed onto my tits and bit into my neck. He stayed inside me and continued thrusting, slower this time, to ride our highs.

Everything came crashing down when I heard a loud, “WHAT THE FUCK?”

My eyes shot open. I turned my head to find George standing in the doorway, Adam a few feet behind him in the hallway. George’s face was red, his hands balled into fists. Adam walked closer to him and held him back by George’s shoulders.

Matty smirked and pushed me back onto all fours. The high combined with my two orgasms had completely overtaken me. I was floating in another realm and I couldn’t control my body. I knew what was happening, I just couldn’t move or say anything.

Matty pounded into me again, pushing his cum further into me. “Sorry, mate, just finishing up here.” He said with a sly smirk on his face.

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER” George screamed, lunging toward Matty. Adam, the saint he was, tried to keep George back but George was ultimately too strong.

Matty was ripped away from me and thrown onto the floor, completely naked. “I think you mean out of her, Georgey.” He laughed.

His attitude was sickening, but god was it hot. I was unsure of his goal, either to make George mad or to keep fucking me. He obviously had no problem with fucking in front of people. I began to wonder if he was some kind of exhibitionist or if he had done this before.

George threw punches at Matty, Matty tried to block them but was unsuccessful. Adam quickly ran over, struggling to pull George off of Matty. I was laid on the bed, covered up by one of George’s blankets.

“George, please, stop!” I cried. He didn’t listen. Tears were falling from my eyes, the high making it more intense.

Somewhere, somehow during all of this, Ross ran up the stairs and helped Adam pull away an infuriated George. George managed to get one final hit in, a kick to Matty’s side. Matty was on the floor, nose covered in blood and curled up. He was clutching onto his side and his nose.

“Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?” Ross asked, clearly confused about why George was beating the shit out of his best friend, but also why Matty was naked.

“Matty was fucking my girlfriend in my bed!” George shouted. I crawled up further into George’s bed as if somehow it would make me disappear.

George looked at me with venom in his eyes. He pointed at me, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, “You,”

I sobbed into his blanket. He marched towards me and ripped the blanket from my grasp. He looked down at my naked body, bruises and red marks scattered across me.

“Why the fuck would you do this to me?” He said, choking back the tears.

“I-I don’t know, George. We were high a-and,”

“Save it. Get the fuck out of my house.” George demanded.

“B-But,”

“Y/N, you both have 3 minutes to get the fuck out of my house or I will actually kill him,” George said. He wouldn’t even look at me. I looked to Adam and Ross for help, but they showed no mercy as well.

“I need my clothes. Can someone get my clothes from downstairs? A-And his,” I looked over at Matty.

Adam nodded and exited the room. George stood there with his arms crossed and his head down. Ross had his hand placed on George’s shoulder. Not much, but a sign of comfort.

Adam shortly returned with our clothes, clearly not happy about the situation. He threw the pile of clothes on the bed. The three men walked out of the room and shut the door. I could hear George’s sobs through the door.

I pulled out my bra, underwear, shirt, and skirt. I quickly slipped the garments on and gathered Matty’s clothes in my arms.

I reached down and pulled him up by his arm, helping him sit on the bed. I used the sleeve of my shirt to wipe some of the blood from his face. I helped him slip his boxers and sweatpants on, quickly realizing he didn’t have a shirt on earlier.

I looked around the room in search of a shirt that could be Matty’s. I found one on the floor by George’s desk. I grabbed the shirt and helped Matty slip it on.

“We gotta hurry up and go,” I whispered

“He’s my best friend, Y/N, I can’t lose him,” He cried and rested his head on my shoulder.

“I know, Matty, he’s my boyfriend. Or was? You wanted to get high, Matty. You started this.”

“Bullshit, Y/N, you enjoyed it just as much as I did.”

“I did, I loved it. But we can talk about this later, I can’t watch you get hurt again,” I said, standing up. I offered a hand to Matty, which he accepted.

I held onto Matty’s arm, almost for protection. I knew Matty was not capable of protecting me right now, nor would he even want to. I opened the door slowly. They weren’t standing there.

Matty and I walked down the stairs together. I was careful not to touch his side where George kicked him. “I’ll take you home and clean you up, okay?” I whispered to him.

He nodded. We were then met with the three men standing near the front door.

George walked up to me and looked directly into my eyes. “In case you didn’t figure it out, we’re over. That goes for both of you. Matty, I never want to see you again. I’m done helping you. And as for you, I can’t believe you would cheat on me. You broke my heart, Y/N.”

I hid my face in Matty’s arm. I couldn’t look at George. I couldn’t believe that I did such a thing. The high was wearing off, and I was faced with the consequences of my actions.

We walked out the door without another word. Matty and I walked a short distance away from George’s house until we found a bench by the sidewalk. We sat down. Silence.

“So…what now?” I asked, looking at Matty.

He laughed and put his arms behind his head. “Round two at my place?”

#matty healy x reader #matty healy #the 1975 #matty healy smut #matty healy imagine #matty healy fanfiction #george daniel #matty x reader #matty the 1975 #matty healy fic #matty healy oneshot #the 1975 smut

109 notes · View notes

theunstuffedpepper · 11 months

Text

Still over here waddling around, still doing the once-a-week commute to the city for work. In between I’ve been managing to keep some flowers alive (big deal for me!) and am spending a lot of time with my little guy.

We just celebrated our 11 year anniversary the other day.. hard to believe it’s been that long. Last year, I was less than a week from giving birth to pip and so we said we would delay doing anything big for our 10-year until this year. Fast forward to this year and I’m pregnant again. We couldn’t have ever predicted that this last year would go the way it’s gone. Needless to say we didn’t do any big celebrating this year either. It was a quiet day, the three of us went out for dinner at a nice place here in town.

PA is continuing to feel more and more like home. It’s incredible - we only moved 1.5 hours away but the people here are so much more friendly and kind and thoughtful than back in NY. A funny story: a week or two ago, I got off the train after my long ass commute home and hopped in the car (at the station which is located in NY state, to be clear) to come home and… the engine wouldn’t start. Nothing. Turns out I guess pep had “driven” my husband’s van, which I was driving that day, and must have flipped some switch which is wired incorrectly so the fan was on all day long, draining the battery, unbeknownst to me. Cool cool cool. After calling B, I decided to try and get a sympathetic passerby to help. I even had jumper cables.. just needed a helpful person with a running car. I approached one guy just sitting in his car and he said no, it would be “too difficult” to help me. Mmm, okay. Mind you, it’s now getting dark in not the best part of town and I’m a very pregnant woman asking for help. But okay. I asked a second guy who pulled up and was sitting waiting for someone to get off the next train. No, he didn’t have cables. But I do! I told him. No, he didn’t want to help because he just got this car. Mmm, okay. Thank goodness just then I saw a state trooper pull up who was more than happy to help me and I shortly got on my way. But I had to laugh: classic NY moment. If I had been a half hour away in my hometown here in PA, I wouldn’t have had any trouble finding someone to offer help, at all. I just know that. This place is such a warm and welcoming community.

I haven’t met many other parents/people my age here just yet, but I’m hoping to as the summer season continues. It’s a bit lonely for me these days, but I’m filling my time mostly just being a mom.

We’re off to the lake today to spend some time with some friends who are visiting, staying in an Airbnb nearby. Gonna enjoy soaking in some sunshine and watching the kids play together.

#pregblr #momblr #30w4d #summertime #06042023

58 notes · View notes

tortoisebore · 11 months

Note

Fluffy prompt- how would wolfstar propose to eachother?

hmmmmm okay okay

big ole disclaimer before we begin: i got a similar ask a few weeks ago that i’ve been ruminating over for so long bc i have my own biases and opinions about marriage that aren’t always positive. so i tried to work around that with this because 1. i don’t want to write something negative and cynical when someone sends a prompt that’s meant to be sweet and heartwarming, and 2. marriage can be beautiful and wonderful and it means a lot to people that do value it. so like….,that’s where i’m coming from and my cynicism might come through in this a bit even though i’ve tried to look at it from a better, less biased perspective. it turned out pretty long and kind of all over the place, but i hope that it hit somewhere close to where you wanted it 🫶🫶🫶

so part of me thinks they’d either get engaged & married after three months of dating or like…..ten years. no in between. but in this case let’s make it easier on ourselves so we don’t have to get into lots of plot and say they’ve been together-together for……three years. like properly real-relationship-in-love-living-together kind of together for three years.

obviously their histories and past experiences play a part in both their relationship and their desire to get married, so i think they’d be coming at it from different places and do a lot of existential late-night working through how their views and hang-ups are different and how they’re the same and how they can make it work for them

remus grew up with parents that loved each other in a reserved way—they got married young and had to work through a lot together, like raising a kid and financial struggles and points of tension within their families over the years. but there was never any doubt that they loved each other and they always treated each other with this kindness and gentleness and care that remus admired. so he has this view of marriage that’s like “life is hard but we’re in it together, we’re a team and we’ll get through anything that might come up.” there’s some lingering fear that maybe he’s not enough to be someone that anyone wants to spend the rest of their life with, especially sirius, but their relationship is good and stable and healthy and they genuinely enjoy each other’s company beneath all of it. they love each other and they have a good foundation, and to him it feels like the right next step for them to take together

but sirius did not grow up with that kind of stability at home, he did not have that practical, positive view of marriage because his entire family tree was riddled with arranged marriages and affairs and and resentment for spouses. his parents were indifferent towards each other at best and spiteful at worst, they barely interacted except to fight with each other or with him, and it was clear very early on that he’d be expected to marry some second cousin and have kids and carry on the bloodline. so he grew up with this fear of what marriage was going to mean for him—something based on convenience and not love, that he’d be trapped with someone he resented—and it wasn’t until he’d left and had time to process and start to heal from all of it that he even considered the idea that he could marry whoever he wanted, now.

so he’s in this great relationship and he loves remus, and remus loves him, and it’s more than he ever thought he would be allowed to have. and sometime after their first anniversary they’re at home and remus is like “would you ever want to get married?” and sirius is like “……👁️👄👁️ would i WHAT??::?:?” and remus is like “no no wait i’m not proposing sirius i’m just asking.” and it’s a task get it out of him, but eventually sirius tells remus all about what getting married means to him, how he learned to be afraid of it early on and still struggles to see it as something good. and internally remus is kind of like “oh,” because he’d really love to marry sirius and have a life together that goes beyond sirius just being his boyfriend. and somewhere deep down he’s worried that this means sirius doesn’t want to fully commit to him, that he loves sirius more than sirius loves him and they’re not on the same page as far as the whole ‘i want to spend my life with you’ thing goes, but sirius shuts that down fast.

they end that first conversation in a better place, where remus trusts that sirius’ aversion to marriage comes from his past and not anything to do with their relationship, and sirius believes remus when he says that he understands and that he’s content with the way things are

so over the next year they keep on as usual, things are still good and they’re still obsessively into each other and sickeningly in love. but sirius has been thinking about it in the back of his mind for a long time, and remus is nice and doesn’t pressure him to talk about it but sirius has got this idea in his head that getting married means security. it means that remus won’t leave him, that they’ll be together forever, and that sounds more like what he wants. and the more he thinks about it the more he starts to get panicky that remus will leave if they don’t get married, because he obviously wants to, so he brings it up again.

they’re at home on a random saturday morning and they’ve just finished breakfast and remus is reading at the table and having his third coffee of the day and sirius goes “what do you think about getting married?” and remus looks up and goes “😶….what do you mean?” because they haven’t really talked about this in a few months but he knows that sirius knows he would like to get married eventually, and sirius is acting nonchalant about it but remus knows something is off. so he’s like “where’s this coming from?” and sirius is all casual and shrugs and says “nowhere i was just wondering.” and again it takes a lot of work but remus finally gets him to crack and tell him what he’s been thinking, that he’s afraid remus isn’t satisfied or that he’s going to leave if they don’t get married. and that’s what it is, he realizes—somewhere in the time since they last talked about it, sirius has started to see marriage as the only way to keep him around long-term, as the thing that will prevent them from breaking up, and as much as he wants to say ‘love it let’s do it’ and marry sirius, it’s not going to work if he’s seeing it as the only way to make sure remus won’t leave him.

so they have a Big Talk, and remus tells him the truth—that he’s in this thing for the long haul whether they get married or not and that he doesn’t need to get married to be happy together. it takes a lot of reassurance, but eventually sirius starts to come to terms with the idea that getting married doesn't have to do with the longevity of their relationship, or this idea of an extra layer of security. over the next few months they keep it on the back burner, bring it up every once in a while and work through any hang-ups they’re having or things that maybe still don’t make sense. and eventually remus learns to trust that sirius doesn’t want to marry him just to prevent him from leaving, and sirius comes around to the idea of it being another step forward in their relationship—a big one, but one that means they love each other, and they’re committed to each other in more ways than just ‘not breaking up.’

so it’s their third anniversary, and they’ve just gotten back home from a fancy dinner at this place in the city and they’re lying in bed and being disgustingly sweet, and sirius goes “i think i’d really like to marry you.” and remus’ little heart goes 💗💞💕✨💓🤩💫💓 and he turns over to look at him and goes “really?” and sirius smiles all soft and pretty and nods, and remus is ab to pinch himself and he’s all “you’re sure?” and sirius smiles bigger and nods again, and remus is ab to pass out maybe when sirius narrows his eyes and goes “i want a ring, though. and a proper proposal—a big one.” and that’s that.

so over the next couple of months remus plans, and despite what sirius said about wanting something big, he has a better idea.

it’s just a normal thursday night and sirius is coming home, he’s a little tired but it’s takeout night and he’s really craving the moroccan place down the street. he unlocks the door and kicks off his shoes and stops in his tracks because the living room light is off but there are candles lit, and there are rose petals on the floor like a corny hallmark movie and the love of his entire life is at the kitchen table, standing when sirius shuffles into the room all silent and wide-eyed, and remus goes “i know you said you wanted something big, but i thought this was better.” and sirius loves loves loves him, loves him so much he can’t breathe because he’s right—sirius had been all talk, all he really needed and wanted was remus and the little box he’s holding, and it feels right that this is happening in their home, the place that had seen every boring weeknight and slow morning after nights out, every fight and apology and hard conversation in between, all their laughter and joy and the disgusting amount of love that existed between them.

so remus goes off on a little spiel about how sirius his best friend and his favorite person and how much he likes him, how much he loves him, how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. and he’s only halfway down to one creaky knee before sirius is tackling him to the ground, knocking him off balance and punching all the breath out of his lungs and kissing all over his precious little face. and sirius might be crying a little bit but he’s laughing more, saying ‘i love you i love you i love you’ over and over and over and then they’re both cry-laughing. and then sirius remembers the ring and demands to see it, and they’re still on the floor of the living room when remus opens the little box and slips this pretty, simple little silver band with tiny stars engraved on the inside on his finger and sirius’ insides are going ✨🤩💗🤭🥰😁💓💕🫶🫠💞💕

but then he’s like ‘WAIT’ and runs out of the room and leaves remus on the ground and remus is all “……..hello” and then sirius is running back with his own little box, throwing himself back to the floor and grabbing remus’ left hand and pushing a thin gold ring onto his finger, and remus is ab to cry his fucking eyes out bc sirius is smiling so big and holding their left hands up next to each other. and then he looks closer and there’s a tiny little outline of a crescent moon on the side of his ring and then he is crying, like full on snot and tears crying, and then they’re both crying and having very weepy and disgustingly sappy sex on the floor

and after, remus orders from the moroccan place down the street and sirius calls everyone they know and screams into the phone about the power of everlasting love and that they want a new toaster as a wedding gift

which is how they end up with fourteen toasters six months later

#u ask tortoise answers #anon #tortoise writes a novel ab an ask for no reason #this is perhaps our most rambly ramble yet

39 notes · View notes

trickphotography2 · 6 months

Text

So I'm working on the next chapter of D-Day. It's interesting writing a deployment from a spouse's perspective since I've only experienced one as a military brat and as a long-distance girlfriend to a Navy corpsman. I'm pulling a lot of this from watching my mom while growing up - dad did 2 remote tours in Korea (he got orders by himself rather than ones with the family) where he was gone for a year*, and was TDY a lot when we were in Japan and New Mexico. Even after he retired after 26 years, he still did a couple tours as a military contractor.

This story is getting a lot of personal antidotes in it. I already shared that Jake and Darlin's McDonald's anniversary tradition is my parents, my own story about getting hospitalized with a migraine as a kid during a PCS, and my dad's cancer possibly being connected to his exposure to jet fuel as a jet engine mechanic.

Anyways, just feeling a bit reflective while writing this chapter. Here's a sneak peek, with some more of my personal experiences.

It didn’t matter that it had been a week since hearing anything from Jake. He was busy, and so were you. This was just part of life loving someone in the military. Hell, growing up, you’d done this. In kindergarten, your dad had been gone so much that you vividly remembered picking him up from the airport, confident that you were dreaming because Dad was home. There were so many weekend mornings that you’d woken up to your mom in front of the computer on a video call, trying to catch a few minutes with one another before he went to bed when assigned to temporary duty in another country. In high school, he had been in Korea for a year to make sure that you got orders to Florida because that’s where you wanted to go to college.

Mom had encouraged you to stay busy. That would help the time fly by. And it had, to some extent. Work was a good distraction, and you were making an effort to keep in touch with your friends back home. But the loneliness crept in at night. You missed the casual intimacy of getting lunches and coffee ready for the morning, standing beside one another in the bathroom while brushing your teeth, and how he would make sure you were settled before turning off the light and crawling into bed beside you.

Three weeks alone in the house, and you were slowly building a new routine.

*One of those remote tours was to get us the hell out of New Mexico and Mom packed my sisters and me up and moved to Maine for the year, and the other was to get us back stateside when my mom put her foot down about living abroad when her oldest daughter was in the US starting college

#D-Day fic #Personal

7 notes · View notes

theycallme-thejackal · 2 years

Text

One MidgeLenny x TSwift Fic Per Day

62. 'tis the damn season

Joel was more than a little annoyed when Midge left for Hollywood.

It wasn’t ideal for her either, but when Lucille Ball herself asks you to come out and film a couple episodes with her, you jump at the opportunity.

It’s snowing when she leaves the airport, and she looks up at the sky, glad to be back home. As wonderful as the experience was, she’s missed New York. She’s missed her kids. Her parents.

As she heads to catch a taxi, she sees someone else she’s missed. “Lenny?”

He turns, the cigarette in his mouth nearly falling as he spots her, and next to him is a little girl around Ethan’s age, holding a teddy bear in one hand and Lenny’s fingers in the other. “Midge,” he breathes as he removes the cigarette from between his lips. “What are you doing here?”

“I just got back,” she says. “I was in Hollywood for a few weeks. The Lucy Show,” she explains.

His brows lift. “We must’ve been on the same flight,” he says. “I was getting Kitty from my mother’s.” It’s then that Midge notices the small pile of suitcases next to the father-daughter duo.

“I’m living with Daddy now!” Kitty cheers, releasing Lenny’s hand in favor of hugging his leg, and Midge sees him smile in a way she’s never witnessed before. Pure joy, unfiltered by anything but affection for his little girl. “You’re Midge?” Kitty asks.

“Yes,” Midge replies. “I’m Midge. I’m a friend of your daddy’s.”

“You’re pretty.”

Midge laughs quietly. “So are you. I love your dress. Pink is my favorite color.”

“Me too!” Kitty squeals, and Lenny laughs a little. Then the tiny blonde looks up at him, and he bends down as she whispers something to him.

“Yes, she’s very nice,” Lenny agrees, and then Kitty whispers something else that makes him chuckle before he stands upright and looks at Midge. “It seems Kitty would like me to invite you over for dinner,” he says.

“Oh,” Midge says, surprised.

“Honestly...I’d like it, too,” he adds after a moment.

She smiles softly. “Well, I can’t tonight,” she explains. “I haven’t seen my own kids in three weeks, and if I delay for even one more night, Joel might implode.”

Kitty furrows her brow. “Who’s Joel?”

“Joel is...my ex-husband,” Midge explains gently, and she watches Kitty’s eyes light up.

Oh.

"What about tomorrow?” Kitty asks sweetly.

“Kit,” Lenny scolds mildly. His daughter looks up, faux innocence painted on her face. She’s good, Midge thinks, laughing softly to herself. A cab pulls up next to them, and Lenny looks at her. “You wanna share this one?” He asks.

“Isn’t the Upper West Side a little out of your way?” She asks.

He shrugs, a little wave of his hand. “Not so much nowadays,” he replies, reaching for the door.

She’d love to take him up on the offer, but between Kitty’s luggage and Midge’s many, many suitcases, there’s no way they’re all fitting into one taxi. “I’ll get the next one,” she replies.

His expression loses a little mirth, and he nods. “Okay,” he replies quietly as he starts to pack up the car.

While Kitty climbs into the back seat, Midge follows Lenny to the trunk, and when he’s done loading Kitty’s things, she smiles up at him. “Hey, Lenny?”

He squints at her a little. “What?”

She tips her head up and whispers, “Happy anniversary,” before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

He chuckles as they part. “It’s December,” he points out. “Our anniversary was last month.”

“That was a test,” she teases.

He grins, covering it with two fingers the way he’s wont to do. “If I call you in the next couple of days...think you might be up for a little belated celebrating?” He asks, arching a brow playfully. “‘Tis the season, after all.”

She smiles. “I would love that.”

“And maybe before we...celebrate, I could buy you dinner.”

Her smile widens. “Sounds perfect.”

#midgelenny #midge x lenny #midgexlenny #tmmm fanfic #marvelous mrs. maisel fanfic #otp: more important than god #jackal fics #mltswift

55 notes · View notes

spideysbruh · 4 months

Text

Engaged

a/n- wedding one next ? 🤔 also happy new year !!!!

liked by tchalamet, madisonbeer and 1,826,662 others

y/n nothing matters but you.

view all 87,726 comments

ynandtimmystan they've been together for so long I hope they get married and have babies and then THEY become nepo babies and the cycle just continues fr

paulsdunes ellos son mis padres fr

rachelzegler I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU

y/n liked

y/n I MISS YOU MOREEEE LIKE SO MUCH SO BAD I miss our sleepovers 💔

tchalamet pretty girl. I'm so lucky.

y/n liked

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- 😍😍

@y/n just tweeted- it's me and my loves anniversary soon omg. six years!!!!! where did the time go omg

@wonkasyn replied- six years omg...

@ynsgf replied- are yall doing anything special?🫶

@coolyn replied- "my love" we already know it's timmy girl 😭😭

@timandyn replied to @coolyn- LMAOO she's probably just used to referring to him as her bf, love, etc. she does have a personal life yk 🙄

@ynslipgloss replied- if yall ever break up I'll lose all hope in the world

liked by y/n, dualipa, florencepugh and 3,937,373 others

tchalamet 🍫🍫🍒🍑

view all 98,828 comments

paulsatreides the emojis 💀💀

y/n im-

tchalamet liked

kylesgirlfriend the way its completely unrelated too like he's just horny fr😭😭

y/n my personal chocolatier 😍😍😩😩

tchalamet liked

y/n I love you weirdo

tchalamet liked

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler, tayrussell and 5,727,828 others

y/n soooo we've been keeping a lil secret for a few weeks... i'm happily with you for eternity my beautiful, beloved man. you've seen me at my worst, at my best and everything in between and youre still here. I've never loved anybody more than I love you. from the day we met, I knew i would love you forever.

view all 100,298 comments

hellatightkyle NO WAYYY OMGGGG

ynsdune OMFG my parents

rachelzegler CONGRATULATIONSSSS I LOVE YOU GUYS

y/n and tchalamet liked

tchalamet my heart is still racing from that day. I love you forever. thank you for making me the happiest person in the entire fucking world.

y/n liked

y/n no baby, thank YOU for loving me and making me the happiest person ever.

ynscurtains I KNEW ITTT OMFGGG for their six year anniversary

zendaya so glad to be your personal photographer that day

tsgf it ain't gonna last 💀

hellatightkyle he's not gonna date you 🗣🗣

sabrinacarpenter CONGRATU FUCKING LATIONS OMGGG

y/n I haven't stopped crying sab help

liked by y/n, florencepugh, francesa.scorsese and 9,917,772 others

tchalamet I knew you'd say yes. but I was still so fucking nervous. asking you to be my wife was nerve wracking, but also so exciting and exhilarating and just the absolute greatest thing ive ever done. I'll never forget how beautiful you looked that day. I love you, I adore you. seeing that ring on your finger everyday fills me with so much joy, pride and love. what a lucky man I am to be marrying you.

view all 302,177 comments

atreidesdune god when will I find a man like him

l/nology HIS CAPTION OMGGG he loves her so much 😭😭🫶💕💕💕

y/n crying. I'm the lucky one.

tchalamet liked

ynandtimmystan I'm literally a genius

florencepugh CONGRATULATIONS MY LOVESSS

ynslauries I love how he always says he's so lucky to be with her 🥺🥺🥺 how i want my men.

#timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet fanfiction #timothee chalamet imagine #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee imagine #timothee x reader #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet au #timothee chalamet social media au #timothee chalamet x you #timothee fanfic #timothee chalamet smut #timothee chalamet smau

385 notes · View notes

simpforfandoms · 2 years

Note

hi! could i request for billy hargrove c female reader? where bikly’s dad gets inappropriate witht the reader and billy defends her but is also too scared to like say something. max sees everything and helps billy Xx

Of course! I tried my best, I hope you like it! Also, part 2 for the other one-shot will be out in the next week. Currently writing this on my phone at my grandma's house. I might add more later but you never know.

Bad Things Happen

paring: Billy Hargrove x reader

genre: idk angst? hurt/comfort

warnings: sexual harassment/assault, swearing, drunk person

word count: 1.3K

disclaimer: graphic depictions of sexual assault, so please if it will trigger you do not read!

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

masterlist

You've been friends with Billy for a while now. Ever since he moved to Hawkins you two have been joined at the hip. Of course, you had romantic feelings for him but you never told him. Billy Hargrove was a womanizer. and you didn't want to be another quick fuck. You'd rather be friends with him than not have him in your life at all.

It was Friday night. Your parents had gone out of town for their anniversary. You were riding with Billy and Max to your house after school. You had made the mistake of complaining about how'd you'll probably have microwave dinner for dinner.

"Wait Y/n why don't you come to our house for dinner?" Max inquires.

"Ummm sure, if it's okay with your parents" You can see Billy tense up when you agree.

"They won't care" Max replies

"I don't think it's a good idea," Billy says.

"Why because you're embarrassed by Y/n."

"No!"

"Then have her eat dinner with us. Come on. She can meet Neil and my mom! It'll be fun! Please!" Max gives her best puppy dog eyes.

"Billy just let the kid have her fun," You chuckle at her.

"Fine." Billy grunts.

You and Max squeal in excitement. You notice Billy clenching his jaw. Something's wrong. Billy pulls into the driveway. Max gets out of the car, but you wait for Billy to get out.

"You coming, Y/n?" Max asks.

"Yeah in a minute," You say as you turn to Billy once Max walks away.

"Are you okay? If you don't want me to eat dinner with you it's fine," You say

"No it's not that I don't want you to, my dad can be a little...much," Billy says.

"I'll be fine, you don't need to worry about me"

Billy lets out a disgruntled 'fine'.

You and Billy walk up to the door. Max opens the door before you could even touch the door.

"Good and Bad news. Bad news, Neil's drunk, and my mom's out of town. The good news is my mom left dinner and it's still hot. So we gotta eat quick" Max says quickly then pulls you in.

Billy just stays silent. His dad comes up to greet you.

"Well well, Billy I didn't know you had a girlfriend" He slurs.

"She's not my girlfriend" Billy replies.

"You better put a ring on it before I do." He chuckles. "C'mere give me a hug," He says talking to you

"Um no thanks," You say, a bit creeped out

"What? You're too good for me dollface? Bitch" He slurs

Before you could reply Max calls you over to sit. You sit down and Billy goes to sit next to you but his dad stops him.

"I don't think so, let me sit next to the pretty girl." Neil says sternly

Billy's jaw clenches as he moves to sit by Max. You didn’t want to sit next to Neil. He was drunk and creepy. But you didn’t want to mean. You were a guest in his house. Billy could sense that you were uncomfortable.

“So after we eat do you want to play video games Y/n” Max says breaking the silence

“Umm sure” you say

Neil puts his hand on your thigh. You awkwardly scotch your legs away but Neil just move his hands with you. He slowly moves his hands up to your inner thigh. You want to scream. You want to punch him. You want to run. You want to do anything. Anything at all to stop him. But you just can’t. More than anything you want to. You’re paralyzed in fear. Billy seems to notice that something’s wrong. Silent tears start to fall from your eyes. Billy looks like he’s in fear to. Max looks towards you and Neil. Then she looks towards Billy as to say ‘are you gonna do something’. Billy just looks like a scared puppy. Meanwhile, Neil just continues to go farther and farther up. Your eyes are begging for help at this point, then max finally says something.

“Neil what the fuck are you doing?!?!” She yells then she goes and grabs you away from him.

“What she likes it! Don’t ya doll face?” He says, standing up

You’re standing in shock with tears falling out your eyes.

“C’mon we’re leaving” Max says as she drags you out of the house.

“Billy are you coming?” She yells through the door.

“Yeah give me a sec” Billy says

Billy doesn’t know what comes over him but he suddenly has the courage to face his dad.

“Don’t you ever fucking touch her, or I swear to god I will beat the ever living shit out of you” Billy sternly says to his dad

“Oh please, you saw what she was wearing, she practically asked for it” he says then chuckles

Something in Billy snaps

thump

Neil falls to the ground with a bloody nose. Billy walks outside with a bloody knuckle. He gets in the car and sees you. You’re trying to hold back your sobs as Max is trying to comfort you.

“What’s took you so long, we need to get Y/n to her house and I need to go to Mike’s!" Max shouts

"I'm going!" Billy yells back as he slams on the gas.

When you apporach Mikes house you let out a sigh of relief. At least you’re far away from Neil.

“I have to go y/n, but I’m so sorry” Max says as she runs inside.

You move to the front seat as she gets out. You’re trying so hard to keep your cool in front of Billy. Silently he pulls away and drives to your house. Once you get there you unlock the door and Billy follows you. You can keep it together anymore and you burst into tears.

“I’m so sorry you probably hate me, I’m sorry. I should’ve stayed home” you say in between sobs.

It’s breaks Billy’s heart to you see you like this.

Firmly, he states “Y/n I could never hate you.”

He pulls you into a hug and you cry into his shoulder.

“My dad is such a asshole. I promise one day we’ll move out of this hellhole.”

You nod into his shoulder. Wait we? As in you and Billy? Together. What if he likes you back? How could he love you now? You can still feel Neil’s hands on you. You feel disgusting. You want to scrub off your skin.

“I need to take a shower” you mumble into Billy’s shoulder.

“Ok, I’ll head out”

“No! Please stay.” You almost yell back

Billy just nods as you go into the shower. You get a stomach churning feeling as you look at yourself in the mirror. You get nauseous feeling. You hop into the shower before you can throw up. You scrub and scrub your skin until your skin til it turns red and burns. You can still feel his hands. You scream in frustration.

“Hey are you okay in there” Billy shouts through the door.

“Yeah I’m fine” you yell back as you turn off the shower.

You get out of the shower. Throw a towel on and rush into your room to get on pajamas. You walk out into the living room where Billy is.

While you sit next to him, he says “are you sure you’re okay?”

“No but I’ll be okay” you say with a fake smile.

He pulls you close to him and whispers things into your hair. You can’t hear all of them but you do hear one thing

“I’ll fucking kill him if he try’s this shit again”

After you hear that you doze off knowing that you are safe in his hands.

#billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #max mayfield #strangerthingimangine #stranger things #angst #hurt/comfort #i honestly can’t tell #if i like it

120 notes · View notes

almost-a-class-act · 1 year

Text

Happy Pacific appreciation week!

Prompt: Day 3 ( February 8th ): Underrated characters Author's note: Could it be, me posting a fic on the day of the prompt before midnight? We're all surprised! I wrote about Lena, because she is criminally underrated in my opinion. Anyway, as with the first two this will probably end up on AO3 after I have some time to go over it again. You can find me there under roaroftheninth.

Lena will live for much longer in John’s aftermath than she ever did with him. It’s the kind of thing that will lay you straight out, if you let it – if you think about it too much. Not prone to fits of emotion, or to falling apart, she nevertheless knows better than to issue herself that particular challenge.

She tries not to think about it too much.

When their first wedding anniversary comes, he’s been gone for five months already, an interminable amount of time that is somehow, unbelievably, only a fraction of a lifetime – five months down, and so, so many more to go. Lucy goes with her into town – have a drink, take your mind off it – but by the time they get there, she can’t face getting off the train and looking strangers in the face. They disembark at the next stop instead, cross to the other platform, and get the train home.

By Christmas, John’s been dead for almost a year (longer than they’d known each other – she tries not to think about that too much, either, because the passage of time feels like missing a stair in the dark, a terrifying drop into the rest of her life). She has dinner with his family, his brothers trying to keep it from being a subdued affair, his parents completely unable to try. John’s sweet, grey-haired father, somehow smaller even than the last time she saw him, withered by grief, comes to sit with her and holds her hand. She bites down so hard on the part of herself that wants to weep that her whole body aches.

On the first anniversary of his death, she gets up earlier than usual and makes French toast. It doesn’t taste right, like everything sweet about it is gone. She doesn’t finish it. Lucy doesn’t say anything about it, but she gives it a week and then says, off-handedly, I’ve got a cousin who’s single. Nice guy, works in marketing or something. You want me to set you up? Lena is very polite but very firm. She does not want to be set up.

When summer comes again, she is one of the few marines left from wartime service. The familiar faces have dwindled in the past eight or ten months. Most of them see her wedding ring and assume she’s got a fella somewhere. It suits her fine. She still does not want to be set up.

It’s been almost three years since the last time she saw John when she spots the back of a dark head in a crowd. The lilt of his walk, the precise, tiny conceit in that stride, stops her in her tracks. She would know it anywhere. A hundred lifetimes from now, she would know it. John. She calls out, a hand flying up, because if she loses him in the crowd, what then? The rawness in her voice makes a handful of people turn around, but not him.

He turns and ambles into a hardware store, unaware. In profile, he is so obviously not John that her knees buckle.

John has been lost to her for five years when her smallest and most precocious niece asks her when she’s going to get married again. It is not a difficult question to answer – I’m not. She had never had a strong desire to get married, or not one that superseded everything else, anyway. Women who got married became wives, and there is nothing wrong with being someone’s wife, but she has never wanted to be only someone’s wife. She likes being a marine; she likes her neatly-kept apartment with its park view and no one to tell her not to leave her books open with cracked spines on the arm of the chair, or her empty coffee cups on the table. She has always liked doing things on her own time. She had even begun to assume that she was not the marrying kind at all before she met John, who had immediately made himself a notable exception to all of her rules.

And then she hadn’t been allowed to keep him. Now she was back to who she had always been – not the marrying kind. She knows better than to expect another John.

It is ten years since John when she looks around and realizes that she has friends to whom she has never mentioned that she is a widow. She barely thinks of herself as one. A widow is a descriptor given to delineate you in relation to someone else, and she has been on her own for a very long time.

I’m a widow, she thinks, frozen in place at the grocery store, in the middle of the soup aisle. Why does the word feel so strange?

The following year, when John’s father dies, she attends the funeral, and John’s family treats her like she belongs, like they always have. When she gets home, it’s the first time she cries since she stopped crying over John. It is like something has fallen away inside of her, created a pit of gravity that pulls down and down and down, and she doesn’t go to work the next day. It’s the one time she calls in sick in her entire career.

It is twenty-three years that John’s been gone when she retires from the marine corps. There is a flurry of interest, people turning their heads when they remember that she’s Lena Riggi Basilone. It doesn’t feel intrusive to let other people have a piece of John, the way it once did. He had never especially liked being a war hero, but she thinks he would have liked being remembered.

She’s been on her own for thirty-five years when she absently takes her wedding ring off one day, trying to find some relief from the way her hands are swollen from the summer heat wave. The way her heart lurches when she rubs that spot with her thumb only to find it bare feels like a dim echo of the day they told her about John, an incomparable loss – an insurmountable panic. She turns the house upside down, scratching her arm on the edge of the bookshelf, until at last, disheveled and bleeding, she finds the ring sitting next to the bed, precisely where she left it.

It's been forty-two years since John when her great-niece asks her about the wedding photo on her mantle and she feels herself brighten. Oh, that’s John. Isn’t he handsome? She tells every story she knows until her cheeks hurt from smiling. The ache is gone, burned away, and only the rest remains, transcendent.

She is more than five decades on from the last time she saw John and she still walks on the beach most days, mainly to get out of the house, although she likes the way the air smells, too, likes the sound of the gulls, and the waves against the pier. It is a bright, windy day, and she is not alone on the sand, though she lets her gaze flow off of other people like the water that scurries in, frothy white, and slinks away across the sand again. She is not here for them. She has reached the end and turned back to return the way she came when ahead of her, she spots the back of a dark head.

It has been a very long time, and yet – and yet.

The lilt of his walk, the precise, tiny conceit in that stride, stops her in her tracks. She would know it anywhere. A hundred lifetimes from now, she would know it. John. She calls out, a hand flying up, because if she loses him in the crowd, what then?

This time, he turns around.

#tpweek2023 #hbowardaily #the pacific #fanfiction #roaroftheninth

25 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

xsddcdce

Untitled

saturndekiyalnizkiz

Tuana

antisocialredhead2

A Cliché & Hopeless Romantic

whitewinterblues

Whitewinterwhispers

sissyloverc

Lover of all sissy