#also guys i watched im3 tonight again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

avengerofyourheart · 7 years

Text

Mess is Mine (Tony Stark x reader)

Hey, guys. I’ve been sitting on this finished fic for almost a month, which is rare for me, but I think it’s time to post. It’s nice to read it with fresh eyes and give it a polish before posting. I really hope you all like this.

____________________________________________________

Mess is Mine (Tony Stark x reader)

Characters: reader, Tony, Steve, Clint, Sam, JARVIS.

Summary: After a mission goes awry, Tony’s response causes a rift between the two of you until an unexpected late night encounter causes you to see a different side of Tony. (events occur around the beginning of Iron Man 3, some dialogue is borrowed)

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of anxiety, home invasion and violence (mild).

Word Count: 2630

Tags are at the bottom.

A/N: This fic is inspired by the song Mess is Mine by Vance Joy and that line of Tony’s in IM3. Special thanks to my love, my darling @sebseyesandbuckysthighs for the Tony expertise and willingness to share her firsthand anxiety knowledge. I suffer from high functioning anxiety myself, but rarely have full-on attacks. However, the reader’s cause for anxiety and OCD is my own. I wish I had taken the same action afterward, though. I hope this is a comfort to some. Roo, you are my mess and I am yours. I love you.

__________________________________________________

Exiting the Quinjet like a bat outta hell, you were fuming. Steve tried to reason with you, but you didn’t even hear the words he spoke before he stepped aside with a look of fear in his eyes. All you needed was to get to Tony so that you could slap that smug grin off his carefully manscaped face. The man was insufferable. And wrong.

_____________

The mission was going smoothly so far, when suddenly all hell broke loose with HYDRA agents surrounding you, Steve, and Tony. Every level of the compound had been cleared from the top down until Tony blasted open the thick steel door to the basement, believed to be full of documents, experimental serums, and other sensitive HYDRA information. Which was all true, according to intel, but what had been missed in surveillance was the two other hidden doors to the basement that had spilled out the bad guys behind you and now you had no exit strategy.

There was a moment of a stalemate: Steve with his shield, Tony in his suit with blasters up at the ready, and you with a pistol in each hand, just behind them. The HYDRA agents—at least twenty— each had a gun trained on the three of you. Even as Avengers, you were outmatched and were backed up against a wall. Sam and Clint were on their way from the jet, but at least 5 minutes out. A lot can happen in 5 minutes. Attempting to keep panic at bay, you thought it through. There was really only one solution.

You holstered your weapons and stepped around your fellow Avengers with hands raised.

“Y/N, what the hell are you doing?!?” Steve loudly whispered.

You took a few steps forward toward the armed enemy.

“Get back here, Y/N!” barked Tony, probably meant as an order but you just turned your head and sent him a wink.

“Hey, fellas,” you grinned, addressing the twenty men all clad in heavy black battle gear. “Look, I don’t want to start anything here, so if you could just let us pass, that’d be great.”

The agent closest to you smiled underneath his helmet, “Is that right, sweetheart?”

He took a step forward to tell you how wrong you were, you would guess, but as he did, he also lowered his gun slightly and was now within reach. In that split moment, you grabbed the barrel of his rifle and pulled, putting him off-balance. You took advantage of that and kicked his legs out from under him and fired his own weapon at his colleagues, taking down 5 of the men in seconds. Steve and Tony jumped into action, taking on the rest of the men as you continued to attacked the still-surprised agents. Within two minutes the floor was littered with unconscious men and the three Avengers stood tall, chests heaving with effort.

Tony attached an explosive to the wall next to the basement door and set it for two minutes. It would’ve been nice to get the intel, but considering this twist of events, best case scenario was that HYDRA couldn’t have it either. The two of you ran through the compound, Tony flying ahead, as you counted down in your head.

39….38…37….

Breaking through the door to outside, Sam and Clint reached your location headed toward you.

“Go!! Go!! Get to the jet!” Steve yelled.

The two men stumbled and changed direction, seconds later the blast you could feel in your rib cage. You were at a safe distance, though, as you continued to run. You broke through the trees with the Quinjet in sight. All of you boarded, Clint reached the pilot seat to start the jet. You braced your hands on your knees, catching your breath. Facing Steve and Tony, you smiled, hand up for a victory high-five. The two men shook their heads, faces serious.

“What was that, Y/N?!? You could have been killed! I can’t…” Tony had retracted his helmet, showing his angry expression.

“You could have warned us first, Y/N,” Steve offered in a stern tone.

“Are you kidding me? We had seconds before they were going to open fire and you wanted a powwow first? I did what needed to be done! Those doofus HYDRA goons only know how to follow orders, no original thought, so I gave them something else to focus on. They always underestimate a woman. And it worked, didn’t it?” you said defiantly, arms crossed over your chest.

“It was reckless and stupid!” yelled Tony.

You scoffed, “That’s rich, coming from you.”

His eyes grew wide, jaw slack as he walked away a few steps. “That’s it. I’m done. You’re benched until further notice.”

“What?!? You can’t do that! Steve…”

“Steve may be the boss, but I’m the bankroll. And if I decide someone shouldn’t be on MY jet then it doesn’t take off. End of discussion.” At that word, Tony replaced his helmet and flew off instead of joining the team in the jet. He rarely did that, careful about the suit’s power and long flights were draining for him but apparently he preferred it to arguing with you.

Speechless, you turned to Steve.

“Hey, he has a point. Maybe you should take a step back,” he conceded, walking further into the jet.

“Unbelievable!” you said, exasperated.

______________

The ride home had been tense, to say the least. You had hours to yourself to fume and come up with arguments and comebacks, especially since everyone was afraid to approach you.

Now you were storming through the Malibu mansion the Avengers temporarily called home, making a beeline for Tony’s lab. Reaching the glass door, you could see him with his back to you, tinkering with something on a table. You placed your hand on the fingerprint scanner for entry and you were met with a red light of denial. Rubbing your hand on your pants to dry it, you tried again. Red light.

“JARVIS, let me in!”

“My apologies, Ms. Y/L/N, but Mr. Stark has asked me to delete your access to the lab.”

“He what?!?” you screamed, banging a flat hand on the glass. “Tony!!”

He turned toward you, having heard his name despite the muffled sound through the glass.

“Open this door right now!”

He cupped his hand to his ear, mouthing the words WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU.

“That would hold more water if you hadn’t RESPONDED TO YOUR NAME 5 SECONDS AGO. What’re you gonna do, hide out in your little Boys Club with a sign out front that says ‘No Girls Allowed’? “

He considered it, stroking his chin. “Pretty much,” he blurted, wiggling his fingers as he put his back to you.

“Ugh, you are SUCH A CHILD. Have fun sleeping alone tonight!!” you threatened before stomping away to your room.

Unbeknownst to the rest of the team, you and Tony had been seeing each other casually for a few months. Nothing too serious, but it seemed to be headed that way until this mission brought it all to a halt. You thought he liked your fiery spirit and occasional tendency for dramatics, but apparently that was now being used against you.

You didn’t see him for two days. He was holed up in his lab and you were consumed with rage which you attempted to burn out in the gym. After 48 hours, though, you were just tired. Tired of being angry, tired after hours at the gym, and tired because sleep was eluding you from all the one-sided conversations in your head.

Around 1am you had made some chamomile tea and settled into a comfy chair just off the kitchen with the lights off, hoping to become drowsy. 15 minutes later your eyes were growing heavy when you heard footsteps approach. Opening the fridge, the light spilled out illuminating Tony in a tank top and sweats, his shoulders sagging. You could tell he was tired and upset, too. Setting down your tea, you stood and approached slowly.

“Tony,” you spoke.

He jumped at your voice, grabbing a bottle of ketchup to “defend” himself, before he relaxed. “Y/N. You scared the hell out of me.”

You rounded the counter toward him, trying to offer an open, non-confrontational expression, “I don’t want to fight, but we need to talk about…”

“Y/N! I can’t right now, I’m sorry, I…”

“What, you don’t have the time right now? It’s the middle of the night and I’m done letting you avoid me! You can’t just drop a command and bench me without even..”

“Yes I can! You don’t just go up against 20 armed men and put yourself in danger like that. I won’t let you.”

An angry burst of laughter escaped your lips, “You must be joking. You literally flew a bomb into a hole in the sky and I don’t remember you asking for anyone’s permission first. You almost died!! I watched you fall, I mean…”

“Y/N…please….” Tony began to walk slowly toward the seating area, avoiding your gaze.

“Please what? You don’t get to bogart all the stupid and reckless in the world, I did what I had to do and that’s exactly what you did in New York. I get that, so why…”

“Please stop!!” Tony had finally turned your way and you could see the change in him. He was pale with a light sheen of sweat on his skin, eyes wide as he struggled to breathe. You knew that look.

Concern took over, “Tony. Talk to me, what’s happening?”

He clutched the arm of the couch as if his legs would no longer support him. You came to his side, putting an arm around his waist as you guided him to the couch and he sat.

You knelt beside him, “Tony. Tell me what you need. How can I help?” You didn’t want to impose or make it worse.

He grasped your hand and squeezed it tight.

“Tony, look at me,” when he didn’t respond, you lightly put a finger under his chin to turn his face toward you. “Tony, where are you?”

A few labored breaths and he finally answered, “Home.”

“Good and is there an immediate threat right now? Besides my fiery temper?” you asked with a hint of humor.

He finally met your eye, seeing a softness there, “No.”

“Okay. Breathe with me,” you placed Tony’s hand on your upper chest above your heart as you inhaled and exhaled slowly. Tony focused on your breathing and slowly started to mirror it with his own.

A few more minutes and the worst seemed to have passed. Tony’s head fell back on the couch as he rubbed his face, exhausted.

You spoke first, “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been having anxiety attacks?”

He dropped his hand from his face and looked at you, “I didn’t even realize that’s what was happening until recently. I thought I was just dying.”

You gave a smile, brushing a lock of hair from his sweaty forehead.

“Wait, how did you know?”

“About what was happening just now? I’ve had them for years.”

“What? You never mentioned it,” he said, cocking his head.

“Well, I guess we’re even then, huh?” you joked. “They started when I was 14 or so. Someone broke into the family home one night and made off with some jewelry and electronics, all while we blissfully slept. Waking up the next morning knowing a stranger had been there and that our safe haven had been breeched, I felt…violated. I didn’t feel safe anymore. I started resisting going to bed and hated being alone at night. I would compulsively check windows and doors to make sure they were locked. I think I slept on my parents’ floor a few times. It just wasn’t getting any better, in fact, it got worse whenever I felt like I couldn’t control anything.”

Tony brought your hand up to his lips, nuzzling it against his stubbled cheek.

“So my mom suggested I take some self-defense classes, you know, take back some control. I excelled and had my blackbelt by the age of 17 which is when I considered law enforcement. Instead, I went to college and applied for the FBI before graduation and that led to SHIELD, which led to the Avengers and then led me to you.”

He offered a wide, generous smile then, “You’re the best.”

You pressed a kiss to his lips, laying your hand on his chest.

“But me? I’m a piping hot mess. Nothing’s been the same since New York. You experience things, and then they’re over and you still can’t explain them? God’s, aliens, other dimensions...I’m just a man in a can. The only reason I haven’t cracked up is because I’ve got you. Or I hope I’ve got you. But honey…I can’t sleep. I go to my lab and I do what I know. I tinker. The threat IS imminent with how often we’re out on missions. And I have to protect the one thing I can’t live without. That’s you. I didn’t want to ruin a good thing by dumping all this on you.”

“Hey, this whole mess?” your hand waving to indicate all of Tony, “This mess is MINE. You are all mine. You’ve definitely got me. And I’ve got you. I love you. You don’t have to carry this alone.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, offering a teary smile. Until the cockiness returned. “You know…that’s the first time you’ve said that, you know. The ‘L word’. “

“You caught that, huh? Thoughts on the subject?” you teased, nervous about your confession.

He stared off into the distance, as if in deep deliberation, “I’m thinking…”

“Tony!” you shouted, giving him a playful shove.

He laughed, pulling you into his lap, “There’s nothing to think about. I love you, too, Y/N.”

“Well, good,” you said in relief, bending down for a long, lingering kiss. When you pulled back, he kept you close.

“So how do you do it? How do you deal?”

You sighed, “Practice. I’ve found certain skills that can lessen, if not prevent, an attack when I feel it coming on. Meditation for one…breathing exercises…yoga…”

“Ah, so that’s why you’re so bendy,” he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

“Mmhmm. You’re welcome,” you grinned with a wink, before getting serious again. “Really, though, I can’t say I’m glad that anxiety has been such an unwanted companion through most of my life, but it’s brought me to where I am now. There’s so much these days that is out of our control, especially now. But we can choose how we respond to it and I’m right here with you to figure it out.”

He captured your lips then for a kiss, his facial hair tickling your chin. “Maybe you could -kiss- show me -kiss- some of those -kiss- bendy moves right now.”

Tony shifted so you were lying on the couch, him settling between your legs.

“Right here?”

“Why not? It’s my house.”

You laughed, “I’m game. But seriously, that whole benched thing is not…”

He silenced you with a kiss, “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“Yeah, we will,” you promised, lifting his tank top over his head.

You took a moment to marvel in his beauty, electro magnet and all, as you ran your hands over his sculpted abs. It took a lot for you both to get here, but now you just wanted to savor the moment. You were in love with the Billionaire not-so-Playboy-anymore Philanthropist who also happens to be a mess. But he was YOUR beautiful mess, you thought, as he proved his love to you right then and there on the living room couch.

_________________________________________________

So? Any thoughts are appreciated!! This was actually the first Tony fic I wrote but have since published one and I feel like I have a better handle on writing him now. I hope to do more Tony fics in the future. Also, I love Pepper Potts but I wish she had been more sympathetic in IM3. That’s kinda why I wanted to write this. Send me your feedback in any form you want: message, ask, reblog, reply, whatever. I love you guys!! :)

Tags:

@holycoldcoffee @anitavalija @animeroses318 @littleingram @writingruna @imaginingbucky @writingbarnes @bovaria @dontstopwiththelyin @cojootromuelle @catwomvn @marvelfanfichq @gold-liess @re2d2 @thewintersdoll @black-eyed-bucky @livvvi01 @marvelgoateecollection @4theluvofall @supersoldier-wifey @black-andwhite-life @priettierthanyou @marvel-ash @sebbytrash @serzhantjamesbuchananbarnes @wakandasoldier @marvelobsessedalways @themcuhasruinedme @kaylaornaw @jesstwinings @hurricane-overseas @buckysberrie @marvel-lucy @marvelingatthewonder @you-and-bucky @love-marvel-forever @hymnofthevalkyries @kinqshley @beccaanne814-blog @love-for-fanfics @maece-rette @shiejinx @the-real-tony-stank @marveladdictsa @feelmyroarrrr @avengermama @sebseyesandbuckysthighs @tiredofthisgeneration @ewfilthymundane @angelina-mariex @buckyywiththegoodhair @rogersxbarnesx @heismyhunter @lbouvet @bionic-buckyb @ryverpenrad @timeladylaurel @melanie451 @thisisthelilith @symphony25 @ijustwanttobepartofyourworld @abovethesmokestacks @officialcaptain-marvel @i-want-to-fuck-that-dorito-man @missmotherhen @malfoy-milkovich-royalty @erinvanlyssel @therealcap @mrs--healy @finhabastos @johnmurphys-sass @tori-medusa-belongs-to-bucky @nykitass @readingtoescape @snakesgoethe @langinator @laurenwhitehouse-blog @mizzzpink @anxuanpham @hellomissmabel @with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli @howdoesoneadult @sofster9000 @melting-like-silver @lostinspace33 @moodymonster25 @vaisabu @ek823 @you-didnt-see-that-cuming @yellowtheremarvelfan @sarcastic15overlord @mirkwood---princess @quiskcilver @msshadowboxer @reniescarlett @wellfuckbuck @coffeeismylife28

#tony stark x reader #reader x tony stark #tony stark fic #tony stark angst #avengers reader insert #reader x tony #Y/N x tony stark #tw anxiety #tw violence

636 notes · View notes