#always hidden in the shadow of Jess from Black Christmas | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewnchstrs · 5 years

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happy halloween! it’s fic time, baby!

Dean X Reader

Lawrence Pie Co.: Being new in town, you decided to get to know what the Lawrence, Kansas has to offer. Little did you know you would find the most delicious pie you’ve ever tasted and an even more delicious man. | @whatareyousearchingfordean

Warm Enough: Dean helps you warm up | @misssamericaschavez

Tainted Love: when Charlie tags along on a hunt, neither of you can help it when it comes to taunting the boys at a red light. | @bi-danvers0

Series Rewrite | @adorable-dean-winchester

Massage | @theliveshipparagon

We Meet Again: After a case went sideways, Dean found himself in a difficult situation. When he things that this could be his end, he ends up bumping with an old friend of his, that maybe can help him. | @alwaysdreamingforthebest

Sober: Dean has struggled with alcoholism for a quite a while and one day, he snaps at the reader and the reader snaps him back into shape. | Male!Reader | @somebodyto-love

Missing: You walked away, taking a break but now you are missing. | @allonsy-yesiwill

COLOR: AU where your entire life you’ve only seen in black and white, until you receive the first touch from your soulmate and color blooms before your eyes. | @supernaturalthisfanfic

What a Wonderful Way To Say I Love You: Dean and (Y/n) are married, with a surprise awaiting them. | @the--blackdahlia

Journey: The reader observes the Winchesters while hunting and maybe become friends with them, because she really needs help from her former mentor…but he is dead, and now the boys are the only ones who can help her. | @justsomedreaming

A Letter From Dean | @protectteamfreewill

Calling For You: When Dean is given the mark, you didn’t think things could get any worse. That is until the love of your life dies, and his body vanishes. Y/n will do anything and everything to get him back, even if that means she gets hurt. | @abbyilr1967

Where: Frustrated, you make a call to a certain hunter, hoping he can help you out and as he does, you learn where he is. | @lettersofwrittencollective

You’ve Never Heard of Them?: Dean gets introduce to Greta Van Fleet by an unexpected guest. | @nicole-lynne

Someday We Could: Dean and the reader have been friends since childhood and when they were younger they made a deal where if neither of them were married by 35 they would get married, but the last thing they expected was to actually fall for each other. | @my-proof-is-you

I Remember: Due to an accident while on a hunt, you don’t remember Dean, the love of your life. | @itsjustmeiguessallrightthen

King For A Day | @bangtasticbobby

Moondance: You and Dean share an intimate moment around campfire light and the voice of Van Morrison. | @winchester-fantasies

What Mattered Most: Dean wakes to find she’s gone. What would make his best friend leave him? Sam may just know. | @jerkbitchidjitassbutt

Birthday Surprise: On Dean’s birthday, Reader gives him a surprise which might just be a payback of his New Year surprise to her. | @yetanotherreader

Throne of Lavender: He puts the reader on a high pedestal. No way he is good enough for her. She is very loving touchy feeling with Sam and Cas but not so much dean because she thinks dean finds it annoying because of how he reacts to everyone else getting her attention. | @tloveswriting

Nobody Stops For Strangers: On the way to a hunt, Dean and Y/N run into a stranger on the side of the road. They learn the hard way why nobody stops for strangers. | @heyyy-hey-babyyy

Morning Madness: You’re pregnant with Dean’s baby, and the hormones are getting to you. | @simam12

When you leave the bunker with Dean for some days off | @winchestersuniverses

Have Mercy On Me: You have always had an unusual gift of foresight that has helped you become one of the best hunters in the region. When you started working with the Winchester’s everything was smooth sailing. Until you started catching a few feelings for the oldest brother and now, as new nightmares are haunting you day and night, you wonder if this is a sign or a warning of what is to come. | @madleeindifferent

Sam X Reader

Not Ready: Sam tells you he loves you, but you’re not ready to say it back. | @river-fics

Sharing: You went to the nearest motel after a particularly bad hunt, only to find there a not enough beds for all of you. | @superupernatural

Part One | @fiftyshadesgrl

Kisses From My Pumpkin: During an off day, you, Sam, and Jack decide the bunker needs to new decorations for the fall season. | @itswinchesterwritings

After Hours | @sorenmarie87

Tequila, Bones and Bruises: reader is a hunter that the boys have known since they were young because John took care of her when her dad was away or something like that. She and Sam have always liked each other but after Jess he’s too scared to do anything about it. | @too-many-baes

Sunflowers: Your day is ruined and Sam tries his best to make it better. | @percussiongirl2017

We Need Her: After the reader’s break up with Sam, she left the Winchesters and started a new life as a hunter/performer in a club. Fast forward 1 year, the Winchesters are working on a case with some really powerful demon werewolves and they find the reader because she’s the only one that can help them in this case… but what happens when Sam falls in love with her over again. | @is-jus-me

Research Assistant | @reigningqueenofwords

Cas X Reader

Loose Feathers | @sxftgray

Celestial Purity: After defeating a witch on a hunt, Castiel and the reader find a lingering threat! | @gone-to-fight-the-fairies

Sleeping Grace | @luna-jaden-shadow

The Nightmare Before Christmas: the reader makes Cas watch Nightmare before Christmas with her. | @cocos-cocoapuffsarenotforsale

First Mate: Fluffy Halloween themed drabble. | @thran-duils

Caught With The Angel: Sam and Dean are overprotective of their little sister when they catch her with Cas. | @lazydoodlesandfanfic

Archangel’s Bane: What if i tell you that Lucifer was cast out of Heaven because of… love? | @sarcastic-space-gal

Weapons | @jtownraindancer

Nephilim News: You have some rather shocking news for Castiel, and you don’t quote know how to feel, or how to tell him. | @featurelengthfics

It’s A Cold And It’s A Broken Hallelujah | @marie12141989

Other

This is Team Free Will | Winchester!Sister | @justabigassnerd

You’re Not Him | Jack X Reader | @mirkwoodshewolf

Broken Family AU | @womanoflettersinthebunker

A Dangerous Game: Ten years. No more, no less. But now the clock has run out, and it’s time to negotiate a new deal with the King of Hell. | Crowley X Reader | @risingphoenix761

The Heart Wants What It Wants: The Ackles oldest daughter Y/N has been growing up hiding a secret from her whole family and the entire world. She tries her best to keep it hidden, until one day her secret is released to the world. | daughter!reader | @thevelvetseries

So, This is Heaven Huh? | no pairing | @saltandburnbabyy

So...I just realized...that I’ve been shot | Winchester!Sister | @daughters-and-winsisters

Who Ya Gonna Call? | Sam Wilson X Reader | @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes

Halloween: It’s Halloween day, you’ve decorated the bunker and cooked snacks with Jack while the Winchester’s and Castiel were out on a hunt.| Jack X Reader | @nougat-nephilim

Imagines

Imagine having to reassure Dean that you’re okay while you’re in the hospital | Dean X Reader | @badass-dora-milaje

Imagine a witch turn you into a dog and Dean takes care of you until the spell wears off | Dean X Reader | @bringmesomepie56

First Date + Afterward (preferences) | @spnforeverblog

It’s Been A While | Dean X Reader | @canyouimaginethatstory

Imagine Sam offering to accompany you to a movie | Sam X Reader | @blissfullylostinarabbithole

Imagine spending Halloween with Dean | Dean X Reader | @queenlists

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FOREVER TAG LIST

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write-as-raine · 4 years

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12.30.19

Though this won’t be my final blog post, it is my first one written while being back in the United States. In recent months, the writer within me—who sits at a desk that is covered in post-it notes, half-empty coffees gone cold, and pages of unfinished thoughts—has only wanted to stare off into the distance. Ironically, that distance has been me. While many variables combined have created the perfect situation for some high-quality introspection, my instinct always has been to document the maelstrom of thoughts that run through my mind in large volumes. At first, this took place as fiction, then I turned to poetry, but as of late nothing else seems quite right to write except for my own life. I do value introspection highly, but never before have I felt inclined to share so much of my life with any other living soul, so count yourself among the lucky few, dear reader. It feels entirely wrong to do so, but at the same time, it seems like such an extraordinary waste to keep it to myself.

It is presumptuous to assume anyone is even reading this, which I think makes it easier to write when my audience is more of an apparition than actuality.

All of that to say, however, that part of my process is writing random bits here and there, and that ultimately these blog posts become Jess's monster, one big body (paragraph) built of many different parts. This will likely be a mixture of things because returning to the United States has, emotionally, been a mixture of things.

Written 12.26.19, in reflection on 11.28.19

I was pondering my trip to London today, particularly the day that Lindsay and I saw Phantom of the Opera. That day has such a glimmering quality in my memory. We were both giddy on anticipation for the theatre, and we were all dressed up as we walked arm in arm, our music split between us in our knockoff AirPods. It was one of those powerful days where nothing could really go wrong if it tried. As we sat in the theatre, drinking overpriced Prosecco and basking in the sophisticated and somehow imposter-ish feeling of being in an ornate theatre in London, I could feel a strange sort of shifting around me, like everything was changing and undoing and becoming all at once. I was realizing, I think, that nothing would ever be quite like this moment again. I would never be in London, with Lindsay, on the cusp of everything ever again.

Between the theatre and the DLR, as we trotted through the city at London speed, the crisp air and bustle of a populace that is always up to something, I kept getting hints of it. Catching my unquenchable joy in the reflections of the windows we passed, my full moon cheeks aglow with my smile. Our reflection showed Lindsay facing what was next resolutely, while I looked into the present and attempted to hold it there in my mind.

On the DLR, as we watched the city shift from old to new and back, black water glittering with nightlife, side by side as the present flew past us, I was filled with some inexplicable settling within my chest. It was a sudden and rapid, heavy but not in an unpleasant way. It was just a falling in love, or a re-falling in love, with my life, and with the present, and the past that had somehow led me right up to the brink of what was to come. Lindsay, on this evening, paid me one of the loveliest compliments I think I've ever received.

"You've taught me to see so much beauty in the world that I never saw before,", she told me as we looked out over the diamond cut cityscape.

Such a simple, perfect day.

I think I was settling into the knowing that the near and inevitable future would not be easy. That I would come home and feel the initial surge of excitement over what my heart had missed for these months, but that a hollow and aimless feeling I am so accustomed to would creep in around the edges. I would feel the siren call of the city in the soles of my feet. Knowing that feeling would come, I still pushed my heart into the hands of those I loved, even though trusting people who have the power to hurt me has gotten me before, and would again. Because others have taught me that there is no point in bottling yourself up and pretending to be someone you’re not. My soul, in all it's wild and whimsy, will always be spilling over, and why not free it.

12.14.19

I feel that my time abroad was a transformative experience, I just don't quite know how to sum up what changed. I feel different, not in the way that I expected. London, sleek, elegant, historic, magical London left its mark on me in a new way. I saw so many real aspects of it, the hidden places that aren’t the ‘London’ that we imagine.

It all began with me accepting that my depression was too much for me to carry alone, which didn't magically solve my depression, but when I say that it felt like a fifty-pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders, I am not even kidding. Dealing with the scope of my complex and often confusing chemical imbalances and how they manifest in my every day, well that was a whole other beast. I am still on that path, and will always be. Sometimes I don't feel like getting out of bed, sometimes I feel nothing at all, sometimes everything all at once.

I stepped through a looking glass and into Ireland, where I met a cute stranger, and things immediately fell into place and then promptly apart again. In London, I moved in and became very close with two very lovely and wise Norwegian ladies, and I found my feisty personality doppelganger from Iowa, and nothing ever really went according to plan, or exactly as I imagined, but it was right, and it was one of the best semesters I've ever had. The last week was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. As we wandered around the flat, we all felt a bit lost. I don't think any of us were quite capable of figuring out how to transition to not seeing each other every day. We ate most of our meals together, sometimes in companionable silence, just to be near each other. Lindsay essentially just moved the rest of the way in. On our final evening together, we had the last supper, and then we had our own small Christmas. When all the gifts had been exchanged, and the dinner tidied up, we dragged their beds into my room and had a very large slumber party.

On the way to the airport in the morning, as the four of us struggled to carry two people's worth of luggage from flat to bus to tube, we laughed to push back tears. At the airport, tissues were passed out, goodbyes were attempted, final words were choked on, and then we parted. Just like that, it was over. I felt a bit numb as I moved through the airport, alone. A full heart is a heavy burden to bear. All I could think as I sat on the plane as we taxied was, 'I feel very lucky, to have met such amazing people'.

As every mile between myself and London increased, I took deep, calming breaths, feeling a bit lost and very found, and every glance out of the window reminded me that life is magical and that castles seen from the sky are magical and oceans of clouds are magical, I really couldn't seem to do much else aside from sit in awe of what I had experienced in the past three and a half months.

It sounds like an exaggeration, or too good to be true. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of mistakes, screw-ups, awkward times (did I tell you about how I fell down some castle steps, or completely forgot my ID the one time I tried to get into a club? Not me at my best, but me all the same).

But, those were all the pinches for the moments that often felt like dreams.

I learned a lot about my own mind, which I couldn't have done without the wildly intelligent, kind, and intriguing people that I met along the way. I learned a lot about the world too, and about how I interact with it. I learned a lot about kindness and the Universe. I learned valuable lessons about confrontation, which were stressful, and upsetting, and so very necessary. I learned a lot of Norwegian words, which I was not expecting. What I did not learn a lot about, was creative writing, at least not in the academic sense. Actively writing did teach me endlessly though.

Just a few nights ago, I saw a shooting star in a sea of other celestial bodies. I have gotten to play with my chickens on the farm, and with our baby cow, who is very hungry all the time because he is a growing boy, and with our baby goats, who are absurdly tiny and very vocal. Also, since I arrived at home, our cat, Tabitha, a proper aloof feline in all regards, has decided that she thoroughly enjoys my company, and will often stretch herself out on the floor next to me for rubs. This is a very large win because she is an adorable, fickle creature.

Now, as a new year looms before me, although 'looms' isn't the correct word, because looms sounds scary, and while change is nerve-wracking, I have so much to look forward to, as I keep reminding myself, and so much to look back on. So, as the future dawns before me, I feel apprehension, of course, but also great powerful hope and excitement, because there is so much unexpected goodness stored there. I know that it is not always sunshine and even if it were, that I cast my own shadows. Yet here I am, showing my shadows that if I dance, then so must they.

Until the next time, or perhaps, until next year,

jess

P.S. I’ve decided to grow my bangs out. If getting bangs signifies a mental break, does growing them out mean I’m starting to figure things out?

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