#and I don’t think my family was ever religious enough for me to be classified as an ex Christian?

[shifting-worlds]

Me, a Palestinian Christian watching the Why Do They Love Him And Not Me Even Though We’re Both Made Of Wood scene: I’m definitely not going to be thinking about this every day for the next 30 years, what are you talking about?

#I’m pretty sure it’s an allegory for something different but wow did it hit me #sidenote I’m an athiest now #and I don’t think my family was ever religious enough for me to be classified as an ex Christian? #but oh well #pinocchio #gdt pinocchio #guillermo del toro #pinocchio 2022 #shifty speaks

[girlactionfigure]

There's something I need to get off my chest.

I'm an Ultra-Orthodox, Chassidic, Hareidi Jew. I live in Jerusalem, in an area that is exclusively Ultra-Orthodox Hareidi for street after street, suburb after suburb, for miles and miles. In all of these neighborhoods where the roads are blocked off and no cars drive on Shabbos, each black-hat-wearing family has many many children and literally no TV’s. I personally only ever wear black and white clothes, my wife only dresses in Chassidic levels of tznius (modesty), and my boys and girls all attend mainstream Hareidi Chassidic schools where the main language is Yiddish. My kids don’t and never will have smartphones, nor have they ever been on the internet at all. Period. They don’t know what social media is and they’ve never seen a movie — not even Disney animation. 

Having lived exclusively immersed in this culture for the last 21 years, I think I'm sufficiently qualified and well-researched enough to state that the consistent depiction of Hareidim and Torah Judaism by mainstream media, from Netflix to the daily news, is somewhere between delusion, slander and the literal equivalent of racism. If you consider yourself less closed-minded than how you imagine we Hareidim to be, then permit me to share a few personal details about my family, and other families in our neighborhood, to see how well your mental narrative matches up to reality:

- Besides learning Torah each day, most of the men in our neighborhood work full or part-time.

- Many women in our area work. Some even manage their own business or company. These are not special or “liberated” women — it’s so normal here it’s not even a discussion point.

- My wife is a full-time mother by choice, who despite attending an Ivy League College,  finds it a profound and meaningful thing to dedicate her life to. If she didn’t, she’d go get a job. Mind you, she also attends Torah classes each week, works out with both a female fitness coach (who’s gay) and a frum Pilates instructor, writes and edits articles for a couple global websites and magazines, and personally mentors a number of women. None of this is seen as unusual. 

- Kids in our community go to Torah schools where they learn (surprise!) Torah. They are fluent in three languages from a young age and the boys even read and understand a fourth (Aramaic). All the kids learn grammar, math and science. Weekly after-school activities have included music (violin, drums, piano), Tae Kwon Do, swimming, art, woodworking and robotics. The girls' school teaches tools of emotional intelligence. The principal of the boys' school doesn't hesitate to refer to kids to OT if needed. I practice meditation with my children multiple times each week. None of our kids think the world is literally 6,000 years old. They devour books about science and think it’s cool. They know dinosaurs existed and don’t find that existentially threatening. They have a telescope with which they love to watch the stars. 

- The women in my family (like the men) only dress modestly according to Hareidi standards. The girls don't find this burdensome or oppressive. Period. They aren't taught that beauty is bad. They're certainly not taught to hate their bodies, God forbid. Each morning when they get dressed, they are as happily into their own fashion and looking pretty as any secular girl is. They just have a different sense of fashion than secular culture dictates. (Unfortunately for me,  it's no cheaper.)

- The local Hareidi rabbis we receive guidance from are deep, warm, sensitive, supportive and emotionally intelligent. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t go to them.

- My boys assume they will grow up to learn Torah, as much as they want to, and then when they’re ready, get a good job or learn a profession to support whatever lifestyle they choose. My girls assume they’ll be wives and mothers (which they can’t wait for) but they're also warmly encouraged to train in whatever other profession they desire. (My 9-year-old daughter, chatting with her friend in the living room, just commented, "I want to be a mother and a teacher and an artist." Her friend replied, "I'm going to be a ballet teacher.") All options are on the table, and their future seems bright.

- We love living in modern Israel, feel proud and blessed to be here, and frequently count and celebrate its blessings. Everyone in my area votes. Sometimes not even for Hareidi parties. I pay taxes. (And they’re expensive!)

- As a Hareidi person, I’m glad we have Hareidi representation in the government — though I don’t always love or approve of how the Hareidi politicians act, or what they choose to represent. For the record, I'm equally dubious about secular politicians, as well. 

- While I don't spend much time in Tel Aviv, I do have a few close Hareidi entrepreneur friends who have founded high-tech start-ups there, and are — Boruch Hashem! — doing very well.   

- We don’t hate all non-religious people. Our kids don’t throw stones at passing cars on Shabbos. I doubt they even know anyone who would do that or think that it’s ok. We frequently talk about the Torah value of caring for and being compassionate towards everyone. As a family, we proactively try to find ways to judge others favorably (even those people who throw stones at passing cars on Shabbos.)

- We invite all manner of religious and secular Jews to join our Shabbos meals each week and the kids are open, happy, and confident to welcome everyone. (No, we're not Chabad.) One of the many reasons for having such guests at our table is to teach the kids this lesson.

- While we would technically be classified as right-wing and we don’t at all buy the modern “Palestinian” narrative, we certainly don’t hate all Arabs, nor do we have any desire to expel them all from the land. We warmly welcome anyone seeking to dwell here with us in peace and we are pained and saddened to see the suffering and loss of lives of all innocent Arab families and children — as would any decent human being.

- Of the few local families I know whose kids no longer identify as religious, none at all chose to disown their kids. The very thought, in such lovingly family-dedicated communities, is hard to imagine. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm just saying it's not as common as it's made out. Rather, these families have tirelessly, profoundly, compassionately committed to maintaining any connection with their children, and to emphasize that, no matter what, family is the most important thing. Because it is.

- We aren't just living our life blindly, dogmatically following empty religious rules; rather, we are frequently engaged with, exploring and discussing Torah's richness, depth and meaning. Our kids honestly love learning Torah, praying and doing mitzvos. They’re visibly excited about Shabbos and festivals. This lifestyle is in no way oppressive or burdensome for them. If you suggested to them it was, they’d laugh and think you were crazy.  

- We Hareidim are normal people: we laugh, we cry, we buy too much Ikea furniture, and we struggle with all of life's daily ups and downs, just like the rest of you. Some of our communities are more healthy and balanced, some are less so; some of our people are warmer, nicer and more open, some are more closed, dogmatic and judgmental; some of our leaders are noble and upstanding, and some are quite frankly idiots…JUST LIKE ANY SECULAR NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE WORLD TOO. But having grown up living a secular lifestyle myself, and today being Hareidi-by-choice, I can testify that in these communities there is generally a greater and more tangible sense of well-being, warmth, tranquility, connection and meaning. We love and feel blessed to be living this life and wouldn’t want any other.

If this description of Hareidi life is hard to swallow, be careful not to push back with the often-used defenses like: "Well, you're just an exception to the rule...", "You're just American Hareidim", "You're baalei teshuvah", "Well, I know a bunch of Haredim that aren't like that at all"....because the truth is, while there might be many Hareidim who aren't like what I described above, it's still an accurate description of literally hundreds of thousands of Hareidim in Israel and the US — a decent portion of all Hareidim in the world. Which is my very point — how come you never see this significant Hareidi demographic represented in the media, television series, or the news? How come we mostly see the darkest and most problematic cliches instead? 

And finally, if all the facts I've listed above about our communities are hard for you to accept as true, then perhaps the image you have in your head about Hareidim is less based on facts and reality and more based on stereotypes, fear, hate, and discrimination — like any other form of prejudice in the world. 

Care to prove me wrong? Well, you're welcome to come argue it out with me and my family at our Shabbos table on Friday night. It would be a joy and honor to have you. 

Doniel Katz

[daisylincs]

Author Interview Tag

Tagged By: so, long story short... these tags happened right as I was getting super busy with end-of-the-year-craziness, and I completely didn't see them until I was re-scrolling through all my mentions on Tumblr recently. So the people who initially tagged me have probably forgotten they even did (🤣😬🤦‍♀️) but my my count, they would be: @loved-the-stars-too-fondly, @libbyweasley, @aleksandrachaev, and @everythingirl44. Thank you very much indeed, all of you!! This looks like an absolutely amazing challenge, late as I may be to it.

Name: Lily

Fandom(s): Agents of SHIELD (TV) and Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Where You Post: AO3, and the occasional drabble/prompt fill to Tumblr - which, upon consideration, I should probably collect on AO3 🤔

Most Popular Oneshot: for Spideychelle, and overall too, apparently it's my, my, just how much I missed you, my surprisingly angsty (but with a hopeful ending) ten-years-post-FFH fic for Day 4 of Spideychelle Week.

For AoS, it's time can break your heart, have you begging please which, to be entirely 100% honest with you, I completely forgot I wrote in the first place 🤣🙈 It's post-7x10 angst on... that 7x10 and very spoilery death, with some Dousy hurt/comfort. Apparently, Dousy hurt/comfort is the rage, so... that's cool, I suppose.

Most Popular Multichapter Fic: just a few weeks ago, I would have responded with something like, "multichap? Me? As if 😳😅" But now... well, I'm actually posting my first multi-chapter fic later today, so we'll see how that goes!!

Favourite Story You've Written So Far: oh, gosh, that's a really, really hard one!! I've really, really enjoyed almost everything I've written, so picking is going to be very tough cookies xD

For AoS, I think I'm going to go for take my hand, take my whole life too, which is one of the first few things I wrote, but still holds a very special place in my heart, because I felt that it was a fic I could really be proud of, you know? Plus, it made me feel ridiculously soft and shippy-happy throughout the writing process. Plus plus, it has an absolutely stunning banner created by the amazing @ughfitz, which still touches me a lot, because I'd never had such a beautiful banner made before and askjgddfshhdhh it's just perfect.

I'm also very partial to july second, the birthday fic I wrote for @doctorofaos - because Hunter's point of view, it turns out, is ridiculously fun to write, and I had an absolute ball. The whole arc - a surprise birthday party for Daisy, and some team bonding/family fluff - just really works for me, too.

Another one that has to go on this list is hold out your hand, 'cause friends will be friends, my DaisyMack Soulmates BroTP, because that one is my amazing wife @aleksandrachaev's favourite, and it melts my heart so much to hear how much she likes it. 💜

Then lastly, for Spideychelle, my favourite thing I've written is quintessential spideychelle, no contest - it's a Roommates AU and my birthday gift for @eowima, and all the bonding those two dorks do over Lucifer and fandom in general brings me endless delight.

My Aladdin AU, now when did you last let your heart decide, will also always hold a special place in my heart, because it's the first really long thing I wrote. I put a ton of effort into it, and, well, I still think it's kinda fab.

(also I'm so sorry for the relentless self-plug that turned into, oh my God, apparently I'm just that indecisive and love talking that much. I apologise once again)

Fic You Were Nervous To Post: Aubrey, high-five! Because one of the things I was definitely the most freaked out for was that is good, my first-ever Quakerider fic and birthday gift for @acerobbiereyes. The response to that turned out to be overwhelmingly positive, though, and I have even made promises to venture into Quakerider-land again 🥰

I was also a little stressed for we love you, we love you, and we hope you love we too, which was my first-ever polyship fic - Fitzskimmons and cute notes for the fluff bingo - and something I also dedicated to the amazing @bobbimorseisbisexual. Also the formatting for this thing was HELL, and computers and I do not get along, so I was in cold sweats that it wouldn't work and fail on me completely... but, no, it worked, and the wonderful response to it too, very much melted my heart 🥺💖

How You Choose Your Titles: song lyrics. Almost always song lyrics. And if it's not song lyrics, it's a quote of some kind - it just works for me, and I actually find it fun to go hunt for something that works. Maybe I'm weird, but I actually do love it xD

Do You Outline? absolutely, yes - in fact, a great many of the things in my WIPs folder are solely outlines, or even just the beginnings of outlines. I find that outlines are a really good way to save your ideas if you don't have time to write them out properly, so you can come back months later and be all, "what the hell I'm actually so clever." (or, y'know, occasionally, "what the hell can the earth come swallow me up." But let's go with the cleverness 🤣👌)

In Progress:

... I think it's better that we don't talk about my WIPs folder, which, as most people who know anything about me can tell you, is an utter mess, and more than a little insane. (If you don't believe me, check it out here - I bet you do now, right?)

Out of that monstrosity, I'm currently working on numbers 20, 64, 192 and 174, which would be my Skimmons Hallmark Rom-Com, and fics for my three Secret Santas - Spideychelle, Fitzsimmons, and then one for the AoS Secret Santa whose pairing is, in delightfully SHIELD style, classified until the 24th of December.

Then in the very background, I'm also writing some Pipsy, Fitzsimmons and plat!Diper for the fluff bingo yes which I have still not finished I'm awful I know, and I'm going to make my lateness a liiiitle better by passing them of as gifts for my friends. I do love my friends very much, though, so that's more than fair I think 🥺💜

My Complete AO3: ta!

Do You Accept Prompts? yes, always! I have this plan in the back of my mind of gathering up all the prompt lists I've got saved to my drafts and doing like a masterpost/mass prompt request thing, but I'll leave that for a little later yet, because goodness knows I have enough to finish 🙈 In the meantime, though, if there's anything you'd really like to see me write, I'd be just thrilled to do it for you! It'll definitely take me a couple of months to actually get to it, but if you don't mind the wait, then yes, absolutely, I'm your girl! 💖

Upcoming Work That You're Most Excited About: oooooof, another tough one, but I'm very much looking forward to posting the first chapter of my Skimmons Hallmark Rom-Com, which I'm going to do later today!!

Then there's also my three Secret Santas - though I'm not particularly religious, the idea of a gift fic exchange brings me endless glee and I cannot wait to see what my giftees think! I also can't wait to get my own gifts, too, of course... ;) Oh, it's just going to be so much FUN!!

Tagging: well, everyone did this a couple of weeks months ago, so I'm not actually going to tag anyone - but if you see this and think it's cool, by all means go ahead and say I tagged you! 😍 Also, have a very big virtual hug, all of you, and thank you so much for reading through all my blathering!! 💜💖

#tag game #author tag #author interview tag #ahhhhh it has been SO LONG since I was tagged for this fsklfsgjdhkksdhs it's terrible #but here I am; late and very... chatty? #does that help at all?? #lmao well you'll be seeing a lot of that the next few days 🤣😍 #ahhhh it feels so good to be properly back in the fandom game! #three cheers for breaks xD #queue'll figure it out together

[ladynestaarcheron]

Like Pristine Glass - Chapter Fifteen

ao3 - ff.net - masterpost

(tagging these cuties: @humanexile @skychild29 @rhysandsdarlingfeyre @candid-confetti ​ @rhysandsrightknee @missing-merlin @azriels-forgotten-shadow @books-and-cocos @sezkins79 @city-of-fae @someonemagical @dusty-lightbulb @messyhairday-me)

what’s this?? a chapter for lpg, not 10 day after the last one?? bet your bottom dollar!!

thanks so much as always @thestarwhowishes!! and thanks to all my marvelous readers. i love you all so much. thanks for taking a chance on my weird maladaptive fantasy and sticking around<3

---

December 20 - Year of

Nesta hadn't realized Emerie's shop was closing for Solstice, and apparently, Emerie hadn't realized Nesta wasn't celebrating.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, eyebrows raised, as Nesta entered.

"Working."

"The Commander left last night."

"So? I'm not his keeper."

"You don't...you're not going for Solstice?" Emerie frowned, like she couldn't understand.

Nesta shrugged. "I did not grow up with this holiday. I don't care about it."

"But it's fun," Emerie said, bewildered.

Nesta rolled her eyes as she began rehanging coats. She certainly did not classify an hours-long sit-down meal with her sister's in-laws as fun. Last Solstice, in fact, was a contender for Least Fun Night of Her Life.

"Your sisters probably bought you presents," Emerie said, pestering, which was quite unlike her. It was this obsession with Solstice, this worshipping. Apparently, her employer was infected with it as well. "Don't you like presents?"

"I prefer to buy things myself," Nesta said. She never did get the point of surprises. If you chose something yourself you couldn't possibly be disappointed, which she told Emerie.

"You can ask for something."

"Why do you have to wait for Solstice, then?" Nesta said. "If you want something, just buy it. If you have money. And if you don't, you can't celebrate anyway."

"Solstice isn't just about gifts."

"I don't worship your gods," Nesta said carelessly, making her way behind the front desk. She rifled through some of the papers she had on file—they ought to start thinking about spring wear, if they wanted to stay ahead of everyone else. "We should order lighter wear in January. Start putting things on the racks in February. Judging by how much we've sold this month—"

"I'm not very devout," interrupted Emerie.

Nesta looked up from the papers. Emerie's dark eyes were unblinking, her brown face schooled in a different expression from her usual indifference.

"All right," Nesta said.

"I don't go to any temple on Solstice."

"Fine," Nesta said. She didn't care. She had never been to a temple in her life.

"I still celebrate."

"Fine," Nesta said again. "I think we should order lighterwear in January."

"You should come to mine for dinner tomorrow evening," Emerie said.

Nesta narrowed her eyes.

"I was just going to go to the bonfires," she said. "But we could have a proper dinner."

"You're not spending it with your mother?"

"No...I eat breakfast with her."

Eugh. Breakfast with the whole family. Nesta cannot imagine any day deemed worthy of waking up early and then immediately being barraged by people.

"Fine," she said. "Will you look at this? My predictions for February..."

Emerie wasn't religious, as she said. This wasn't a dinner of worship. Or insufferable so-called family—Emerie never pretended to be Nesta's adoptive sister. Just...someone whom she got along with.

That was fine. This wasn't...instead of something else. It was just dinner. She'd had dinner with Emerie before. Before...before she'd started having it with Cassian every night.

This was fine.

December 15 - 1 year after

Their beautiful new archivist walked like a queen: back straight, chin set, stormy grey eyes surveying all that she saw as if considering everything in her path. All that went away when she picked up a book to read, melting like sugarberry ice in the summer, and it was Zeyn's favorite way to see her.

Her posture changed. Nesta always stood like she had a broom tied to her spine—did it not hurt, he wondered, to be like that all the time?—and when she found herself a quiet corner of Sugar Books, she folded into herself, unaware of her surroundings. Sometimes she would even mindlessly tug on a lock of her hair, tug it right out of the precise braid, and it would curl downwards, playing on her lashes—

"You're staring at her again," Maz snickered.

Zeyn snapped his head back to the book he was supposed to be working on. "I am not."

"Hush, Maz," Leyla said. "He's in love. It's sweet."

"It's creepy."

"I am not in love with her. And keep your voice down," he added, lowering his own dramatically. He risked a glance towards Nesta. Whether she was ignoring them or truly couldn't hear, he could not tell.

He wasn't in love with her. He had only just met her. But how could he not stare? She was so perfectly beautiful. Like she hadn't been born, like she'd been expertly made, sculpted by gods.

"You only think she's beautiful because she's High Fae," Maz said, sounding a bit sour.

"That's ridiculous," Leyla said, cutting in before Zeyn could himself. "Nesta is beautiful. But don't worry, Maz, we think you are, too." She winked as she picked up her crate of books and left.

Maz's eyes followed her out of the room.

"I'm sure she meant it," Zeyn teased.

"Oh, shut up. Go back to staring at Nesta."

"I wasn't staring."

"Were so..."

There was no point in arguing. It sounded pathetic, and it felt it, too. But it didn't need to be that way, right?

"Oh, great, there he goes," Maz muttered under his breath as Zeyn stood. "Off to swoop in on the scary pregnant lady."

Zeyn sincerely hoped she hadn't heard that. Nesta didn't appear to like to talk about her pregnancy much. She didn't like to talk to anyone about anything much. She was private to the point of secrecy.

"Good book?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

"It's all right," she replied, not looking up.

"Never did read any human-authored stuff much," he said. What was that flicker in her eye? "Maybe you could recommend some to me."

"That's my job."

He laughed. She didn't.

He cleared his throat. "So," he said, trying to find something else to talk about. "Are you excited for Solstice?"

That got her to look up. "You have Solstice here?"

He laughed. "Of course we do."

"No, I mean...the holiday?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't we?"

Nesta looked back down. She closed her book, though. "They don't have it everywhere. In the Summer Court," she added. "They...only celebrate the one in the summer."

"Oh," Zeyn said. "Well...we like to celebrate whatever we can in Sugar Valley." He grinned. "I suppose you've already seen the list of Solstice festivities." Erest, the town councilhead, had been proud to announce it at last week's town meeting. He had hung it on the notice board at the inn, and she was still staying there—although not for much longer, he thought, as Adil definitely had some sort of plans to find her somewhere else.

"I have not," she said.

"Oh. Are you...going back for Solstice? To Prythian?" Perhaps, because she had not realized it was a holiday here as well, she had made plans to leave.

"No. I'm...I don't have anything planned." Something was sitting on the tip of her tongue, behind her red lips, pursed shut. But she didn't let it out.

"Well, you should come to one of the town's celebrations!" An idea clicked into his mind. "I mean, you'll have to come to ours, right?"

"Ours?"

"The Sugar Books celebration. We have a staff party. Solstice Eve."

No one did anything on the day before Solstice, did they? So when he announced to them that they all had to come and pretend like it wasn't only for Nesta, they wouldn't—well, Maz wouldn't be too cross. He doubted the rest of them would mind. Miri would probably even help him plan it.

"Oh. I didn't realize you were...so close."

"We are!" Well, they got along. For the most part. That was enough. "It'll be a lot of fun. You'll come?"

Nesta's eyes darted around the room. She smoothed her hands over her skirts—always a shade of grey, always modest. But not so form-hiding that he hadn't noticed the slight changes in her body over the past month or so. Early pregnancy flattered Nesta. "Sure," she said.

Zeyn bit back his broad grin, not wanting to scare her off. He couldn't stop the excited twitch of his ears, though.

December 21 - year of

This Solstice, Emerie thought, was shaping up to be even less festive than last, which was saying something, because only a few short months before that one, various males in her family had died on the front lines in the war against Hybern.

She had shared a quiet breakfast with her mother, who hadn't spoken too much. Mostly just shot her wary glances. Probably because of the demonic scent all over her.

And now she was preparing dinner to share with that demon.

She didn't blame her mother. Nesta's scent was sweet in the same warding way of venom. Any living being innately knew to stay away from it. And Nesta didn't exactly have a winning personality that encouraged otherwise.

But she did good things for her shop. Emerie liked her for that enough.

Nesta Archeron wasn't a bad person. She didn't deserve to have Solstice alone, even if she didn't celebrate it.

The hair on Emerie's neck prickled when she heard her short raps on the door, but she ignored them. She wasn't scared of her Other employee.

Emerie didn't have much finery, but she did make an effort on Solstice. She wore shoes that were prettier than they were sensible and her hemlines sparkled. A glittering pin kept her braid at the side of her head—her usual hairstyle, but the ornament was only ever worn a few times a year.

Nesta made no such changes to her wardrobe, but she didn't need to. She wore her hair in crown-like knots and braids every day and no matter how drab the grey she wore in her dresses, nothing could dull her beauty.

She had even, Emerie noted, filled out a bit in the weeks she had been here. Her frame, once pitifully thin, had sparked gossip when she had first arrived at camp. Emerie remembered hearing rumors about how the Commander did not feed the High Lady's terrifying sister...

"Happy Solstice," Emerie said.

Nesta grimaced.

Emerie turned so Nesta wouldn't see her roll her eyes. "Wine?" she said, looking over her shoulder.

Nesa's jaw clenched. Her eyes closed. "No," she gritted.

All right, then. Emerie thought perhaps it would be better if she didn't have any, either. She put the bottle down and said, "Don't suppose you saw any of the shows last night." Some of the males put them on—flips and tricks, flying through the air.

"No."

"Neither did I," she said, and she couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice. That was another thing she liked about Nesta Archeron. She genuinely did not care about anything Emerie's people did. She hadn't liked it at first, but now, seeing her disdain for some of the most respected people in the camps, the absolute apathy she had for the cruel ones who mocked females like her on what was supposed to be a sacred day...

Well. She supposed she had a few reasons to be glad Nesta had decided to enter her shop the day she wandered around their camp alone.

December 18 - 4 years after

It takes an enormous amount of power to winnow all the way across the sea, so on the agreed-upon date, Feyre is to fly to Sugar Valley. Along with her husband.

Things have been much better with her sister over the past month—both of her sisters, actually. Feyre has visited a few times, and Elain came to stay for a whole week. The children had loved that, as Cassian had also managed to spend a few days then.

But she has still not seen Rhysand since that day in September five years ago.

She assumes they—Rhysand and Morrigan—will summon the strength they need to mind themselves in her presence. She doesn't ask for much. Only quiet.

Nicky bounces with excitement all morning, rattling off to Ollie a list of all the things they're going to do "across the sea", courtesy of the stories his aunts and father have spent the past few weeks filling his head with. Avery keeps tapping Nesta's legs and asking when they're going to leave.

Nesta lets them amuse themselves, for the most part, as she double—and triple-checks their bags. Presents for the children that she was instructed to take and keep as surprise until Solstice evening by various townsfolk (some for her as well), clothes, medication for Ollie's lungs—he hasn't needed it in a while, but it never hurt to have it along—some favorite toys, books, the purple cup Avery needs, jars of jam...

All of this, of course, to keep herself busy. Until half past ten, when she hears the knock on her door.

Steeling herself is not particularly easy to do with her children's cries of "I want to open the door!" chorusing around her, but she manages.

Nicky gets there first. He lifts his chubby hand high above his head to reach the doorknob and throws himself at Feyre when he sees her.

"Hey!" she says, laughing as she catches him. "Oh, hello to you, too, Ava!" For Ava has also launched herself at her aunt.

Ollie stays safely behind her legs. He had been excited to see Feyre, but Rhysand, standing behind her, throws him off. He looks up at her, and she smiles down at him reassuringly.

"This is your uncle, Rhys!"

Nesta cannot stop her lip from curling upward. She might deny the relation on her side, but Cassian obviously has not on his.

"Hello," he says, smiling along with Feyre. "Nicky, and Ava...hello, Nesta. You're looking well."

"Hmm."

"And you must be Ollie," Rhys says, bending to his knee, to meet him at eye-level. "Hi. I'm Rhys."

Ollie looks up at Nesta again.

"It's all right," she says to him quietly. "But you can stay with me."

Nesta pulls Avery and Nicky into a hug and tells them she'll see them soon. Rhys holds onto two of their bags and then swoops the pair of them into his arms. With a nod at Nesta, he disappears.

"Ready, Ollie?" Feyre asks him, picking him up and holding him close to her chest.

He nods against her and leans on her shoulder. Nesta grabs the other bags and links her arm in her sister's.

"Let's go."

And they do.

It is, as usual, a most disorienting experience, and Nesta loses her sense of self for a few moments, but Avery's laughing voice brings her back.

She sees Cassian first, holding Ava and Nicky. Ollie squirms out of Feyre's arms to run to him, too.

She feels an arm on her shoulder. "Are you all right, Nesta?"

"Fine," she says to Feyre.

They're in her home, the third one, on the banks of the Sidra. One of the living rooms. Nesta recognizes the stained glass windows, the midnight blues—and, of course, the painted pictures of everyone. Herself excluded, obviously.

She remembers when Feyre had shown her the house. She hadn't mentioned the original Archeron decor, but she hadn't needed to. It had been impossible not to notice, and it still is. Had she expected her to say anything? To ask why?

Perhaps it had bothered her then, but it doesn't now. Nesta has her own house. Contrary to what her sister believes, not everyone you know by blood or happenstance needs to hold an intimate place in your heart, a spot of honor on your walls.

"Nesta? Are you sure you're all right?"

Nesta looks up at Cassian. His smile from seeing the triplets has dimmed. "I'm fine." She clears her throat. "Where can I put our things?"

"Oh, well, actually...we'll take a carriage."

She could swear Cassian bites his lip—in nervousness?

"All right," she says, giving a little shrug. The townhouse doesn't include much better memories than this place, but she guesses it'll be better. At least they'll have their own place, at least she won't have to be around all of them for the whole time. "Let's go."

Feyre and Rhysand help them bring their things down where the carriage is waiting for them.

"We're all the way across the sea, Mummy!" Nicky exclaims, rushing to clasp her hand in his.

"We are, angel."

"And we're...we came the whole way!"

"The whole way."

"For Solstice!"

"Mm-hm," Nesta says, keeping an eye on Avery pulling Ollie along.

"Where are we going now?"

"We're going to take a short ride," she says, lifting him up into the carriage. "Now you Avery—yes, sit tight. We're going to take a short ride to where we'll be staying."

"Where are we staying?"

"With our aunts?"

"No, we'll—"

"Actually," Cassian cuts in, placing Ollie in, "we're going to my house."

Nesta gives him a sharp glance, but he doesn't meet her eye as he helps her in.

"I didn't know you bought a house here," she says, low so the children can't hear her.

"Yeah, I...I mean, do you want to stay at the townhouse? That's empty now."

"No, no, I'm sure yours is fine. I mean. Is it—have you—?"

"Yeah, yeah, I've got beds for them...and you...and there's...I think you'll like it. Close to a park."

No matter how low they talk, all three of them pick up on that.

"We're going to play in the park?"

"Are our aunts coming too?"

"All right," Nesta says, a bit loudly, over them all. "We're going to go to Appa's house first and eat lunch and get settled and then we'll go to the park."

She hides a smile at their answering cheers.

"Where is it?" she asks Cassian.

"Near the Rainbow."

She doesn't particularly like the hustle and bustle of Velaris' city center. Too many people, too loud. Sugar Valley residents can be plenty loud, sure, and all the forgotten gods know that town meetings can be ridiculously stifling, but there are not so many people that Nesta does not know them all by face if not by name.

But she sees the house—Cassian's house—is not too close to the Rainbow. In fact, it's closer to the Sidra. A nice bank, shallow waters. There are some families with small children playing there.

It's styled like most of the houses in Velaris—in fact, it looks a bit similar to the townhouse. She likes the novelty of her blue-boarded house in Sugar Valley, but the maple brown of this one is nice, too.

"Here we are," Cassian says, getting out first, to help them all down. He takes the bags in one hand and Ollie in his other. "Let's go."

The sparsely-decorated inside reminds her a bit of his home in Illyria, but perhaps with a bit more child-proofing done. There are no sharp edges in his living room; the chairs and tables are all rounded, so she doesn't stop the children from rushing off to explore the rooms on the top floor.

"Wow," Nesta says, looking around.

"Do you like it?"

She peers in through a doorway. "You have a proper dining room." She's not jealous. She loves her home. Just...she wishes she had one. It might be nice, one day, when the children are older.

"I haven't got much for it yet."

"I can see that." Beige appears to be the predominant color, which is...interesting. "Why...were you waiting for my sister's Solstice gifts? To match the decor to?" Feyre gives them all paintings every year—or at least, she used to.

Cassian laughs. "No, I was hoping...well, I don't know. I've never decorated a house before."

"You realize how insane that is?" she asks him. "You're nearly six hundred years old."

"I'm not nearly six-hundred years old..." he trails off. They've had this conversation countless times—teasing, gentle, mostly. And then one time, very much not.

"So," he says, clearing his throat. "This is the ground floor. Living room...dining room...kitchen...do you like the cabinets?"

He must be more anxious than she thought. "They're great."

"Do you want to see the upstairs?"

"Sure."

There are four bedrooms. "These two are smaller, so...oh, there you all are!" For the children have made their place in the room clearly meant to be theirs, with little beds corresponding with the colors of the ones in their home in Sugar Valley. "Right. Here's...the master..." He dumps their bags unceremoniously on the floor.

"Nice view," Nesta says, looking out onto the park. She can see the Night Court's mountains in the distance.

"You can stay here," he says. "You know, while you're here."

Nesta turns to face him, blinking. "What?"

"If you want."

"It's your room. It's your house."

"I can sleep in one of the smaller rooms."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I—please, just take it."

She blinks again. "All right." If he wants her to...

"Mummy!" Avery calls as she runs in. "Mummy, can we have lunch and go play?"

"Yes, ah—you have...do you have food?"

"Yeah, I've gone out and I've got the kitchen stocked...I'll get started, why don't you...settle in?" He leaves her with a parting smile, Avery trailing after him.

Get settled, she thinks. She's not quite sure what that entails, but she decides it includes a few minutes to herself before the overwhelming onslaught of Velaris crashes over her.

---

Chapter Sixteen

#like pristine glass #nessian fanfiction #acotar fic #nesta archeron #acotar #zeyn staring at nesta is brought to you by me

[queenmercurys]

My ramblings on The Prince of Egypt (1998)

I recently wrote a lengthy rant about why I think Disney becoming a monopoly is a bad thing, and how most of the animated films the studio has released in recent years don’t (for me, personally) hold a candle to some of the classic non-Disney animated films I’ve seen over the years. One of my examples was The Prince of Egypt. I first saw this film when I was a kid, but I recently rewatched it (I think it’s on Netflix essentially everywhere, please watch it), and was blown away. And since I found it a bit therapeutic to put my thoughts into these mini ramble-essays, I thought I would do the same on The Prince of Egypt, and why I hold it in such high regard.

I’m by no means an expert on animation, storytelling or anything like that. My best qualifications are a BA in English literature, and recreational drawing throughout my life. Neither of these things make me in any way an expert in storytelling or animation. Just wanted to make that clear. And me praising The Prince of Egypt is not me trying to take anything away from other animated films. I just think this film is dope and I wanna talk about it. So, to start off, I guess I should make it clear that I’m not religious. I would actually classify myself as a little bit anti-religious, simply because I think there are some inherent flaws in most organized religions that result in really damaging things throughout the world and throughout history. And yet, I can very clearly understand the appeal. I understand that religion is a source of comfort and hope for a lot of people, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I felt the need to say this to make it clear that my bias towards this film has nothing to do with the religious message it conveys.

With that out of the way, I want to properly start by talking about why I think the film tells the story of the Book of Exodus in a really, really talented way. Like I probably just made clear, I can’t call myself an expert on the mythology, but I know the general gist of it. I think the way The Prince of Egypt manages to transform a dark biblical story into a family-friendly (yet, still serious enough) animated film is pretty impressive. I was most impressed by the way in which the characters were fleshed out, particularly in the cases of Moses and Rameses. Both of their motivations are clear, and their conflicts are depicted through their actions, dialogue and (especially) facial expressions. You can definitely feel their connection throughout the film, and their struggles as they are pitted against each other feel very real. The other characters are fleshed out enough to be believable as people, but not too fleshed out, so to not distract the audience from the main duo. And in relation to this, the voice acting is superb. The voice cast for this film is pretty darn good, and I believed every single one of them as their characters. 

Next, my favorite bit of the film. The music! I was absolutely blown away from the very first minute “Deliver Us” began to play. The movie is filled with absolutely breathtaking pieces of music that, to me, are unrivaled by any other animated film. And when I found out that Hans Zimmer was involved in the film, well, that just made perfect sense to me. I heard that the film’s music was influenced by The Hunchback of Notre Dame among some other movies, which I think can be heard throughout. The Hunchback of Notre Dame is actually one of the few Disney films that I would consider near-perfect, and the music is a big part of that. I am a really big fan of super theatrical musical pieces that maybe take themselves a bit too seriously at times (my favorite band is Queen, after all), and both The Hunchback and The Prince of Egypt deliver 100%. But I would actually rank The Prince of Egypt higher than The Hunchback, because, to me, every single musical number in The Prince of Egypt is perfect. My personal favorites are “Deliver Us” and “The Plagues”, but I would gladly take any of them over basically any other animated musical number. The songs are meaningful, impactful, tell a clear narrative, and are accompanied by amazing visuals. I usually dislike musicals, and usually dread musical numbers in films, but with The Prince of Egypt I was constantly eagerly awaiting the next song. 

I also wanted to talk about the visuals. I’m including a few screenshots in this ramble to illustrate what I mean, but overall all I can say is that I really, really miss 2D animation. I think The Prince of Egypt perhaps does it better than I’ve ever seen before. The level of detail, the expressions on the characters’ faces, the lighting effects, it’s all incredibly impressive. And I believe the film also uses some 3D elements to its advantage, and those little bits have really aged quite well. One of the few scenes I still remembered clearly from when I was a kid was the parting of the Red Sea, and watching it again, it was even more breathtaking than I remembered. I’m not saying that The Prince of Egypt did anything that hadn’t been done by other films. I’m simply saying that the animation left an impact on me in a way that not many other films have done. 

Lastly, I wanted to talk about how I feel The Prince of Egypt handled the themes of the story wonderfully. Even though it is technically a religious tale, it never feels like one. You never feel like you’re being preached to, and you never feel like the ultimate message of the film is “believe in God and everything will be ok”. The film is essentially about seeing the bigger picture, of seeing yourself as equal to others, rather than as being above them. This is depicted in the way Moses interacts with his people vs how Rameses interacts with his subjects. Even though the songs and the dialogue often allude to biblical themes and morals, it never feels like Bible class. You never feel like you’re being forced down this narrative that you don’t necessarily personally care about. It feels like a story of an oppressed people who find freedom and happiness against all odds. And mostly, it feels like a character study of the relationship between two brothers at the opposite ends of a spectrum. And that is something I really applaud the film for. It really could have alienated its audience by preaching about religion and God, but it chooses to not do that, and instead is a film that is accessible to everyone - regardless of their religious beliefs. 

Overall, I think The Prince of Egypt is a pretty great film and if you haven’t seen it yet, you absolutely should. Thanks. 

#the prince of egypt #prince of egypt #dreamworks #my ramblings

[purplesurveys]

1102

survey by joybucket

What color are your eyes? They are dark brown. They’re actually really more of black because of how dark they are, but that sounds creepy so let’s just go with really really dark brown.

What's your favorite type of milk? I don’t take a lot of milk and am not familiar with most of them.

What's your passion? What a deep, introspective question three questions into this survey lmao. My interests are always changing so I don’t really give much thought into this. I don’t let myself be bound to just one thing.

What's your favorite color? I really like the way baby pink looks on everything.

Are you shy? Sure, but I’m trying to break out of that shell. Based from hundreds of past experiences, being shy is the easiest way to be forgettable and I’m tired of people never remembering my name or anything about me.

What is/was your favorite school subject? History. Anything about it I will surely enjoy.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yes.

What's your favorite quote? I don’t keep track of quotes.

What is your natural hair color? It’s black.

Do you like it? There’s nothing to complain about. I’d love to have it dyed just to try out something new with my look, because it’s been black and untouched for 23 years; I guess it’s just a matter of when I’ll push through with it.

Are you happy with the way you look? I wish some aspects were different, like my hair to be less frizzy, my front teeth to be straight, my eyesight to be clearer, etc. But it’s also whatever; I don’t really focus on these things too much as I’ve never been the type of person to concentrate on my physical looks.

What would you change about your appearance if you could? ^ Well, those things I listed. Also, to have boobs?? Puberty never did anything for me in that department.

What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I’d move the bed up against the wall because that’s always been more my vibe. If I had the energy, I’d buy a storage container and place all Gab-related stuff in there so I can finally hide away those things (but not entirely throw them out). I would also fix my closet, all three sections of it. I’d also love to get a homey and soothing night lamp and be able to regularly buy scented candles to de-stress at the end of the day. In other news, my room has remained stale for so long and needs a revamp HAHAHA.

Are you rich or poor? I’d say we are in the middle, but our financial situation throughout Covid has been making me increasingly worry.

Are you double jointed? Nope.

What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? The time I ripped my ear piercing, and my foot infection from snorkeling. Also getting my blood drawn, but that’s only because I’m a big baby when it comes to sharp things.

Do you like shots? See above.

Are you afraid of spiders? Our spiders are never too large or look menacing where I live, so not really. I’m aware of how big they can get in other places though so I totally understand the widespread hatred for spiders lol.

Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? Not sure if it’s an allergy, but my legs quickly get irritated if they’re exposed in a grassy area for too long. My face also doesn’t seem to appreciate face masks, (the skincare kind), but I’m not sure if that’s an allergic reaction or if face masks are meant to do that.

Name a food that you like that's green. Green curry, or broccoli.

Do you like to read? Yes. More of non-fiction, though. I haven’t read a fiction book since I wasssss probably in middle school or early high school.

Do you know what your purpose in life is? No. I don’t stress out over stuff like this lol, I just make sure I’m happy where I am and at the same time, still feel fulfilled with the things I’m doing. 

Are you lonely? I can be, but I guess it’s just meant to happen sometimes.

What's something you are good at? Reading people. Sometimes to my benefit, sometimes otherwise.

What's a color that looks great on you? Olive green and maroon are my favorite shades.

What's something you would like to improve at? Being creative. My work requires a lot of it and I end up being a shitty teammate whenever we have to do brainstorming, because I literally just stay to the side, unable to think of anything.

Do you believe you have great potential? Yes.

What's one word to describe you? Right now? Tired.

Are you spiritual? Nope.

What's one thing that you get a lot of compliments on? My writing.

What's one hidden talent that you have? I dunno if it counts as a talent but I memorize a great deal of songs from Jay-Z and Kanye’s Watch the Throne album, which has always been a fun ‘talent’ to whip out and surprise friends with when we’re partying at a club/bar and a song from the album is suddenly played.

What are three girls' names that you really like? I love Olivia, Mia, and Harper. I’ve probably listed those names a thousand times on these surveys by now.

What are three boys' names that you really like? I like Liam, Mason, and Lucas.

What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld?  The prettiest place I’ve been to was probably Palawan.

What is your favorite pizza topping? Just cheese is fine with me. If that doesn’t count, bell peppers come second. I can definitely live without the other usual toppings like pepperoni, beef, etc.

Name a food that you like that's red. I said green curry in the green foods question, and I’ll answer red curry here, haha.

Are you color blind? Nope.

Have you ever had a crush? Yes.

Can you type fast? I can and I do on a daily basis.

What's your favorite type of cereal? Erm, I’ve never tried them before but I’m drawn to cereals that are rather sweet lol, like Reese’s Puffs or Hershey’s Kisses cereal line. The thing is, they’re classified as one of the luxury imported brands over here so their prices are very unreasonable for a box of cereal, and I never get to have them as a result. Otherwise I don’t enjoy cereal too much.

What is one of your dreams? I would love to have a family.

What are your top three favorite colors? Baby pink, white, and mustard yellow.

What is your favorite book? I don’t have one.

What is your favorite amusement park ride? Ones that would provide enough thrill but won’t make me pass out, like the octopus.

What are three middle names you wouldn't mind having? Idk, I’m fine with my second name. I actually really like the name Isabelle and at one point I unsuccessfully tried to make it my main name, back when I still hated Robyn.

Are you flexible? Not really anymore. I used to be, kind of.

Do you consider yourself religious? Not at all. I haven’t been in around five years. I’ve been atheist since I was in the 4th grade, then I had this very sudden (but very brief) change of heart back in senior year when I started praying a lot. I went back to atheism as soon as I started university.

Are you bold? I can be, but it’s not one of my principal traits.

Are you spontaneous? It’s nice to be every once in a while, but I’m not always.

Do you have a significant other? No.

What's your pet peeve? Lateness.

How tall are you? Just a little over 5 feet, which does not classify me as tall at all.

What's your sexual orientation? Demi. I’ve also been increasingly self-identifying as asexual, so let’s go with that too.

Can you sing? Nope.

Can you dance? Nope, but I still do it when I’m alone.

Can you draw? No.

Do you play an instrument? I mean, just the recorder, but I don’t know if that counts.

What school subject do you hate the most? Chemistry. I struggled with it both in high school and in college. I hated physics and geometry too, but at least I got better at them as I got older. Chemistry is just far too complicated for me to appreciate.

What's your least favorite color? Most shades of yellow and neon green.

Do you eat healthy? I wouldn’t say I exclusively eat healthily, but I do keep a good balance in the food I consume. I enjoy my junk food as much as I like eating vegetables.

Do you think you look better with short or long hair? I’d say short.

What's a color that doesn't look good on you? White.

Are you passionate? Sure.

Are you doing the most you can with your life? Right now, with the world falling apart around me? I definitely try to. I have a great job, I spoil myself and try out new things for myself every now and then, I’ve pulled myself out from the rut I used to be in a few months ago, etc. I guess I can say I like where I am.

Are you proud of yourself for the way you are living? See above.

Do you love yourself? I've started taking a couple of steps down that path.

Do you have regrets? Sure.

Do you have wishes and dreams? Of course.

Do you have a huge secret you are keeping from the world? I suppose so.

Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah, I get quite a lot of compliments on my penmanship in general. I liked practicing my writing as soon as I learned how to properly hold a pencil, so I guess all those times served as good training.

Name a current favorite song. I dunno but Hayley is set to release a new album by tomorrow so a couple of songs from there will most definitely end up being a favorite.

List a song lyric that you like. “Can you live with what you know about yourself when you're all alone, behind closed doors?”

Are you happy? I think so. I’m definitely not as sad as I used to be.

Are you a generally optimistic person? I try to be, but I allow myself to be negative or realistic sometimes.

Have you ever had something horrible happen to you? Between deaths in the family, depression and other mental health issues, and personal life events that were less than nice, absolutely.

Have you ever been abused? Sure.

Have you ever been harassed and/or bullied? I was bullied as a kid because of my name, and as a result it was difficult to make friends for years. I’ve never been harassed though.

Do you love nature? Yes, I love being around nature when I get the chance.

Are you free-spirited? I wouldn’t consider myself that. I like being on the careful side when it comes to many things.

Are you carefree? Not really. 

Would you say you are an overcomer? Yup.

Are you a good friend? I hope I am.

Do you like animals? Love them, except insects.

Do you meditate? No. I actually tried yoga for the first time yesterday because that’s what my workout app had planned for me, but I quickly learned that I am way too impatient for it, lmao. The whole session was meant to be I think 30 minutes? but I quit by like the 14-minute mark and did another program. Idk, I guess it’s just not for me.

Do you pray? No.

What month were you born in? April.

What's your favorite season? We don’t have the usual four seasons but I’m gonna go ahead and say winter because it’s what appeals to me most.

What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I want to keep coming back to Sagada.

What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? Thailand.

What's your favorite type of tree? I don’t have one.

Are you laid-back? I tend to be uptight most of the time, actually.

Are you hard on yourself? Yes.

How's your self-esteem? It’s been getting better, but sometimes I still can’t help but feel insecure.

What medical conditions do you/have you had? Scoliosis.

What are you allergic to? I have had itchy, irritable reactions to face masks and grass before, but not sure if they’re allergies.

Do you like to try new things? For sure, as long as it’s not a crime or if it involves my fears lmfao. Like I would be willing to skydive or dye my hair a strange color, but I’d never scheme a burglary or jump in a tub of cockroaches.

What's one word to describe your style? Chic.

What's one word to describe your bedroom? Plain. I definitely need to mix it up so that it can feel more like who I am.

What's one thing you like about yourself? I like that I’ve always been able to surpass difficulties and come out a better person from them, instead of letting them consume me.

What's one thing you dislike about yourself? I need to stop blaming myself for things out of my control.

Are you competitive? To a fault.

Are you faithful? Sure.

Can you cook? Hell no.

What's your favorite restaurant? Ramen Nagi.

#survey #surveys #kinda basic-ish but not really which works out v well for me

[siren-dragon]

FFXV Observation -- Episode Ardyn *Spoilers!*

Hello Everyone!

With the release of Episode Ardyn and the official completion of content for FFXV, I wanted to write my thoughts about the dlc down. And since the episode only came out today, there will be spoilers and everything will be beyond the cut.

Now be warned: this is just my personal thoughts and opinions of the new DLC content. If you don’t agree with it, that is fine; I only ask that you be respectful in your comments. Now then, let’s get started!

First of all, I just want to say that this Episode was beautiful and tragic, and I really loved it. While I didn’t get as much lore as I wanted (and I wanted the dlc to be WAY longer!) I did appreciate what we got. I have to say though, two really big highlights in Episode Ardyn has to be the music and the fact that we get to see a shirtless Ardyn. However, there were a few things with the story I found interesting and that was what I wanted to talk about.

Somnus Lucis Caelum:

Yes, the first thing I wanted to talk about was Ardyn’s “dear” younger brother; but please hear me out. In complete honesty, I really dislike this blatant hatred for Somnus. Don’t get me wrong, he did a lot of bad things- but we also have to look at it from his perspective too. In the Ep. Ardyn, Somnus actually tells Ardyn that he was jealous of him which is quite a feat for a prideful person. Now, as someone who has three siblings, I can kinda understand where Somnus is coming from. Even now, I sometimes feel pouts of jealous from my siblings despite us all being older. I can’t imagine how inferior Somnus felt when his older brother was literally the golden child of a entire nation.

However, this does not excuse his actions in regard to his treatment of Ardyn; what he did was cruel. What I do think is that Somnus did not know the the true burden of being king really meant. I feel like he wanted to have a chance to shine and show his people that he too wanted to protect them, even if it was in an extreme manner (*cough burning people alive *cough). But when Aera said that Ardyn was chosen to be king, I think that was the final push that sent Somnus over the edge. Even though they were meant to rule together (as talked about in the Datalog about the two blades being used together to symbolize their combined rule), Somnus finally had enough.

Yet when he was finally bestowed the Crystal and Ring, Somnus then understood the extent of what the calling of the king was and what Ardyn was meant to truly be. Somnus realized that he was never going to be the “True King” as that calling was for Noctis, and instead he pushed the only family he had left and was left with nothing but the guilt of what he did for 2000 years as his soul resided within the Ring of the Lucii. I’m not saying that Somnus was a good person and that he didn’t do bad things; he even says that he doesn’t expect Ardyn to forgive him as he knows he did terrible things. But let’s not forget that the two were once brothers and that once upon a time, they did not hate each other.

       2. Aera Mils Fleuret:

Now then...let’s talk about Aera. Okay, so here’s the thing: I’m kinda on the fence about her. She is a very cute character and it is sweet that she loved Ardyn, but I don’t think she is as perfect as some make her out to be. To be fair, no one in this game is perfect and everyone has their faults, some bigger than others, but there is some information about Aera that I wanted make known. First of all, Aera is the Oracle- the First Oracle; who was chosen by Bahamut himself to represent the will of the gods on Eos. The actual quote from the Cosmogony is this: “In the distant past, Bahamut, the Draconian, descended to the mortal realm and graced the people of Tenebrae. From among them, he handpicked a pious maiden and bestowed upon her the power of the Stars and his trident. Using these gifts for the good of all, she became the first Oracle—she who joins heaven and earth”

I don’t doubt that Aera loved Ardyn, but that is the key word there. I think that she loved him, which is evident by when she died to save him- but I believe that when Ardyn became recognized as the Adagium, she put her love for him aside. She betrayed Ardyn and told Somnus information that was, for lack of better term, meant to be classified in regards to the prophecy and who was too be king. Granted, she felt guilt for that, but Somnus did not manipulate her into to telling him- she did it of her own free will. Also, we need to take into account Aera’s own calling as well: she is the Oracle and is known to be a pious maiden. What’s interesting there is that pious actually means to not only be “devoutly religious”, but it also means “making a hypocritical display of virtue”, or to be self-righteous. In the more archaic definition, it means to be dutiful or loyal, in this case; Aera’s loyalty to her calling as the Oracle and to the Astrals. She actually forsakes her love for Ardyn and regards him only as the Adagium and that he will never escape his fate. She puts the needs of others before that of the one she loves most in the world, which is brave of her to have done but also a horrid betrayal to Ardyn too.

While I truly wish we got to see more of Aera’s relationship with Ardyn and how they grew to love each other, she is not perfect. She choose her duty over the love of her life and forsook him when he became a “monster”. Now, that is a difficult choice and I commend her for choosing it to do what is right for the world, but I don’t believe Ardyn will ever fully love her again after that (based on that ending where he kills her and Somnus)- her actions put in motion events that had damaged A LOT of people’s lives just as badly as Somnus did. I understand that she was called to be the Oracle, but she still made a choice and has to live with it too.

        3. Bahamut and the Astrals

Firstly, that title I just wrote sounds like a band name and it’s kinda of funny. But for heaven’s sake Bahamut, what the hell man? I admit, the dragon is a kind of a dick in the game, and that Ardyn definitely gets the short end of the stick with this. However, I can see some of where Bahamut is coming from.

They had a unknown illness that was ravaging the entire planet and the Astral’s didn’t know what to do and didn’t have the power to deal with it. And the Astral’s are sworn to defend the star at any cost, even if they must fight each other. So, I can see why they choose mortals to do their bidding for them, because humans are far stronger than we’re given credit for. Yet Bahamut’s folly was in not telling Ardyn that he had been chosen to bear the burden of darkness just as Noctis was meant to bear the burden of light. Ardyn simply wanted to help people, but Bahamut doesn’t explain that by containing the scourge within himself, he will eventually help the entire planet. Instead, he expects Ardyn to just suck it up and deal with what’s happened because that’s just the way it is.

I definitely think Bahamut is being very cold to Ardyn about everything, but you have to understand that what he says is that “so it has been ordained” meaning he too has no control over this. Bahamut even feels some pity for Ardyn too when he calls him a “pitiful creature” and I believe he knew that he was once a good man. But sometimes we have to do things that are unsavory because there is no other option- and Bahamut likely had no other option. It’s true that Ardyn was put through literal hell due to the calling he was given, but the Draconian actually compromises and allows Ardyn not only his revenge upon the royal family, but the reprieve of death too. He even warns Ardyn that if Noctis doesn’t kill him, he will just suffer forever in darkness and shadow; unable to die. If he truly didn’t care, Bahamut would have allowed the royal family to continue their existence and just have Noctis vanquish Ardyn with no consequences.

         4. King Regis and the Crownsguard

So, one bit of information I found interesting in the game was that the royal family actually knew of Ardyn’s existence. Which mean’s he wasn’t entirely forgotten, just locked away like some weird national security secret. The fact that there is a unit of Crownsguard that is entrusted to respond at a moment’s notice if Ardyn should be released from his prison is interesting. Which means that Somnus actually put in safety measures to ensure Ardyn didn’t escape. Also, the fact that Ardyn doesn’t know what “Adagium” means or is when he first awakens probably means his name was replaced with that word and over time it became a legend- like a bedtime story you told misbehaving children. “You better be careful or the Adagium will get you,” seems like a fairy tale that would stay in Lucian history.

Now, I have to say that after the fight with King Regis, I believe that he was one of the strongest kings Lucis ever had. First of all, Regis is able to physically manifest multiple weapons at once from his Armiger, which you don’t even see Noctis do when he activates his Armiger (they’re all spectral weapons). Secondly, Regis was actually brave enough and strong enough to fight off against Ardyn by himself in order to defend his people which was really cool to see. All in all, it was great to see Regis in his prime and engage in full-blown combat (no matter how short lived it was).

          5. Ardyn Lucis Caelum

I still have so many thoughts about this DLC, but I’m going to have to end it early and I saved the best for last. I have to say it was so much fun to play a Final Fantasy game from the villain's perspective. Ardyn is a wonderfully written character and I am going to miss seeing more of him; Darin de Paul did a magnificent job on this and he has truly managed to bring an amazing character to life. Now then, let’s talk about Ardyn’s story.

While I do feel sympathy for Ardyn, a lot of people have to understand that he is the villain and would likely never get a canon happy ending: which I am actually a bit pleased about. Happily, ever after endings are often unrealistic and it wouldn’t really fit with Ardyn’s character to have a happily ever after (that’s not to say one shouldn’t write fanfiction about it ;) After all that Ardyn experienced, it would be incredibly difficult for him to simply let things go and I think that is his main folly. He actually discards his humanity and basically goes “to hell with them” which is why I love him as a villain. Usually it is the hero that fights destiny, so I loved seeing Ardyn fight his fate while Noctis humbly accepts his.

Another thing I enjoyed seeing was the extent of Ardyn’s powers. Granted, we could have used that in the main game (maybe they’ll do a patch update) but it was a lot of fun to see all of his abilities. I honestly believe even Ardyn himself does not know all that he is capable of doing and is constantly evolving and discovering new techniques for him to preform. But it seems like there are abilities that are unique only to him as a Lucis Caelum; such as the way his armiger functions, the way he slows time as he “warps” or “shadow steps”, and even his illusions. Though ultimately, I liked that he was able to showcase all of these abilities without doing some extreme final-form transformation. 

Overall, this DLC has made me love my favorite character even more- even though it does not excuse his actions in the main game. He experienced so many horrors but that does not condone his actions. Despite how he was in the past, Ardyn is a final fantasy villain; and one of the best ones.

I am certainly gonna miss seeing more FFXV content, but all good things do come to an end. Now it’s time to go and write fanfiction about the new content. ^_^

#ffxv #final fantasy xv #episode ardyn #episode ardyn spoilers #ardyn izunia #ardyn lucis caelum #somnus lucis caelum #aera mils fleuret #regis lucis caelum #ffxv bahamut #my thoughts #in my opinion

[eldritchsurveys]

554.

What's your name, or what would you prefer to be called? >> I just want to say real quick that this blog has 73 followers for some godawful reason, and only like... 15 of them at most seem to be survey takers. Aside from Jay, what are the rest of y’all doing here. It’s getting weird. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, my name is Mordred.

How old are you? >> 32.

When's your birthday? >> 28 May.

How would you describe your appearance? >> I wouldn’t describe my appearance. I have no reason to.

What's your style of choice (clothing-wise)? >> I like goth shit and band t shirts. Mostly I just wear a lot of black.

Do you have a significant other? >> I have several.

What's your level of education? >> I graduated high school.

What is your passion in life? >> I don’t think I have a general “passion” that somehow guides my life choices.

Do you have a big or small family? >> I have no family.

Are you political at all? If so, what do you classify as? >> I’m not political, no. 

Are you religious at all? If so, what religion do you practice? >> My relationship with religiosity is complicated.

Do you know your sexuality or are you still exploring? If you know your sexuality, what is it? >> My sexuality is like a quantum thing. When I’m forced to observe it for the sake of others, it collapses into something like “asexual”. But that really doesn’t tell you anything about me and my relationship to sexuality, does it.

Do you have any illnesses or disorders (physical or otherwise)? >> If I do have any disorders, I’ll let that be someone else’s job to figure out.

What's your favorite drink (non-alcoholic or otherwise)? >> I like a lot of drinks, idk.

What's your favorite movie genre? >> Horror or space epic, I guess.

Is your favorite movie from your favorite genre? >> The Fountain is neither a horror movie nor a space epic. I’d call it “existential fantasy”. Maybe.

What's your favorite book genre? >> I don’t have one.

Is your favorite book from your favorite genre? >> ---

What are your favorite foods to have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? >> I like to eat veggie burgers for breakfast. I don’t have any preference for the others.

What's your favorite color? >> Gold.

What's your favorite letter and number? >> V, 19.

What's your favorite thing to study or learn about? >> I have several, but one is death (from either a philosophical or a practical perspective).

What's your favorite website? >> I don’t know.

Do you use your favorite website more often than other sites? >> ---

What's your favorite dessert? Do you prefer sweet or savory ones? >> I don’t have a favourite dessert, but in general I’m not crazy about sweet things.

What's your favorite mode of transportation? >> ---

Do you take that mode of transportation more than other modes? >> ---

Do you have any physical illnesses? >> No.

Do you have any mental illnesses? >> If so, I’ll let someone else name them. I’m done with trying to understand myself from a diagnostic standpoint.

Do you take your health (physical or otherwise) seriously? >> Sure. But not too seriously.

Do you try to eat well? >> I do, by my standards.

Do you try to get enough exercise? >> No.

Do you try to get enough sleep? >> Yes.

Do you wash your hands as often as you should? >> I wash my hands after I use the bathroom or touch anything that leaves a residue. To me, that’s as often as I should.

Do you take any medications (prescription or otherwise)? >> No.

Do you routinely visit your doctor? >> No.

Do you routinely visit your dentist? >> No.

Do you frequently get sick (colds, viruses, or the flu)? >> No.

Do you try to help others be more health-conscious? >> No.

Do you try to maintain a healthy weight? >> I assume my weight is a healthy weight.

Do you disinfect things as often as you should? >> How often is “as often as I should”? I rarely even think about disinfectant, and I seem to be doing fine.

Do you support religions outside of your own? >> Yes.

Do you support political persuasions other than your own? >> Yes.

Do you support people who have different lifestyles from your own? >> Yes.

Do you believe that everyone, regardless of any bias, is equal? >> I suppose.

Do you consider yourself to be open-minded? >> Yes.

Do you consider yourself to be judgmental? >> Yes.

Do you think people of different ideologies can get along? >> If it’s their desire, and their ideologies aren’t so conflicting that it prevents interaction. Like, I wouldn’t expect a Klan member and a Black Lives Matter activist to have anything constructive to say to each other.

Do you think the world is more loving or hateful? >> I don’t think the world is either. It’s just the world, with all its facets.

Do you think it's better to coexist or have forms of segregation? >> I don’t know. It seems to me that there are benefits and drawbacks to both. I suppose it depends on the long-term goals of the communities in question.

Do you think social classification is fair or unjust? >> Sometimes it starts out fair and drifts into unjust territory as things get more complicated. Sometimes it starts out unjust and just gets worse. Even with the best of intentions, though, I doubt any social classification can remain purely just to all parties involved, indefinitely.

Do you feel the justice system is truly just or corrupted? >> Well, the US justice system has been some level of corrupt for a long time, from what I gather.

Do you feel people judge others too harshly for trivial reasons? >> I do feel that way sometimes. But on the flip side, who am I to call their reasons trivial?

What job did you want growing up? Which do you want now? >> *shrug* and I definitely don’t want any now.

What was your favorite show as a kid? What is your favorite now? >> I don’t think I had a favourite show. I have a billion favourites now.

What food did you like as a kid, but hate now? >> Hot chocolate.

What food did you hate as a kid, but like now? >> I can’t think of any right now, but I know at least one exists.

Where do you hope to be within the next five years? >> I don’t imagine that far ahead.

Where did you live as a kid? Where do you want to live someday? >> In New Jersey, mostly. I haven’t decided where I’d like to live.

Do you feel your past was better than your future will be? >> No.

Do you feel your future will be better than your past? >> Yes.

Are you currently comfortable in your life? >> Yes.

What do you most hope the future holds for you? >> More self-actualisation.

Have you ever been in love? Do you think you ever will be? >> I have no idea, on both counts.

Was your childhood tougher than your current life? >> My childhood was tougher in the sense that I had no agency and no way to speak up for myself and get what I need. My current life is tougher in the sense that I now carry the weight of years with me.

Would you rather go back to your childhood or skip to the future? >> I’d rather stay where I am, thanks. I’m doing just fine right here.

Are you proud of your former-self? >> I am proud of it, yeah, because it did its best.

Are you artistically-inclined? >> Eh, maybe.

Are you musically-inclined? >> Only as a fan.

Are you a talented dancer? >> I am a dancer who has fun when dancing. I don’t know anything about skill but I do know about gettin jiggy and that’s all I care about.

Are you mathematically-inclined? >> Not really.

Are you scientifically-inclined? >> Neh. Interested, sure, but not necessarily inclined.

Are you more gifted with "book-smarts" or common sense? >> I think I have a healthy combination of both secondhand knowledge and experiential knowledge.

Are you more creative or logical? >> I guess I’m creatively logical.

Are you business-savvy? >> Nah.

Are you computer-savvy? >> Sure.

Are you better in the public eye or behind-the-scenes? >> I’d prefer to be behind-the-scenes than in the spotlight.

Are you gifted in the culinary field? >> No.

Are you gifted in athletics? >> I’m probably the least gifted in this.

Are you better or worse under pressure situations? >> I’m good in a crisis, but sometimes I can also be pressured to the point that I walk away and let whatever happens, happen.

Are you gifted in the field of animation? >> Nah.

#surveys #survey #random survey

[charliesimss]

50 Questions for your Sim

Hiiiii everyone, im back from the dead to do this questionnaire 😍

I was tagged by @mada-didi, thank you so so much, if you’ve ever saw my posts you know I love these things.

I’ll tag @clannad03, @sunshinepixels and @bubble-sims, sorry for any double tags 😇

I’mmmmmm gonna do Gemma cause shes my main rp character and Im trying to develop her.

1. How old is your sim? 20

2. When is your sim’s birthday? December 25th

3. What is your sim’s zodiac sign? Cap ♑

4. What is your sim’s ethnicity? I always have just classified myself as white/american. I should get myself an ancestry DNA thing

5. Does your sim have any nicknames? Just Gem

6. Do they have a job? Im a receptionist at a spa

7. Where does your sim live? Sunlit Tides 🌴

8. Who does your sim live with? My two loves, Will and Alistair

9. What environment did your sim grow up in? (strict, loving, cold etc.) I’d say very loving. I was born as the youngest of four already excited and loving siblings, with parents who had stable jobs working with kids, so they had lots of love to share. Sure, we had our fights with each other, and I definitely went down the wrong path at first, but they were always there for me to come home to.

10. What are your sim’s favourite foods? Can’t go wrong with pizza

11. What is your sim’s favourite drink? Mimosas and coffee, sometimes in that order 😜

12. If they have one what is your sim’s favourite color? Red, always

13. Does your sim believe in any clichés? (love at first sight) I believe in the one about having cats walk your path and then having a good day or something? Other than that not really.

14. What is your sim’s sexuality? Straight

15. What is your sim’s gender identity? Female (she/her(s))

16. Is your sim type A or type B? I really have no idea, i don’t really do much psychology

17. Is your sim introverted or extroverted? Extroverted

18. What is your sim’s favourite woohoo position? Lmaoooo uhhhm, anything that has me wrapping my legs around his waist, that’s so comfortable for me lol

19. Is your sim a pet person? If so what is their favourite animal? Dogs of course!! I grew up with 4 of them and I can’t wait to get another with my kids one day 😇

20. Does your sim have a best friend? Adriana, Meadow, Evelynn, Will ?

21. What is/was your sim’s favourite school subject? I didn’t really go to school long enough to have a fave subject 🤦‍♀️ But in grade school I really liked our poetry sessions we had in writing. Don’t think i could write anything above third grade level in poetry now tho....,

22. Is/was your sim a high, mid or low achiever in school? Most of the time I was skipping class to smoke in the back parking lot, so that might give you an idea of who I was then

23. Are they planning to go or have they already been to college? If so, what would be or what was their major? I’m not in college at all but I am in hair styling school, taking the time to get my certificate for that though, cause theres no rush 

24. What are your sim’s political beliefs? (if they have them) ((I feel like there are no political rulers in sims ???? except Me™)) I kind of try to stay out of that area.

25. What is one thing your sim wants to do before they die? Swim with dolphins 💙

26. Does your sim have a favourite TV show (cable) and/or movie? Does it have to be a cable movie? Cause those are no good. Im a sap, I like This is Us and The Village. 

27. Is your sim a Netflix viewer? If so what are their top 3 shows. Nailed It, Girls Incarcerated annddddd, Nailed It

28. Does your sim like books? Most of the books I read are for kids 😭 29. Does your sim enjoy video games, if so what is their favourite one and do they play on PC or console? I had enough brothers in my house playing video games without me while growing up, so I never really felt the need to get into it ?

30. What is your sim’s personal style? I like to get insp from the so called ‘instagram baddies’, thats not really working out while Im pregnant thooooo

31. Does your sim have a lucky charm? nah

32. Is your sim religious? I go to church sometimes and we went growing up, I believe in mostly Christian taught stuff as far as the religious side of it goes.

33. What kind of music does your sim listen to and who is their favourite artist? I like G-Eazy, Panic!, mcr, emo bands ? 34. Is your sim a festive person? If so what’s their favourite holiday? I really like christmas for obvious reasons 😜

35. What is your sim’s favourite type of weather? Snowwww, which we barely get in Sunlit Tides

36. Does your sim prefer to start fights or finish them? Being a capricorn,,,. I do both just when Im bored 

37. Does your sim have a dream job? Ive always just wanted to have a little family of my own, never really thought about a real career

38. Does your sim have any siblings? YEs❤ 3 brothers and a sister. Jayden, Mason, Emmett and Ainsley

39. Does your sim get along with their family? Absolutely

40. What is your sim’s favourite hobby? I like to draw out outfits for me to wear, or listen to music or work out

41. What does your sim look for in a romantic partner? Someone who can keep me grounded and calm, who makes me feel like im Home

42. What is a secret about your sim? I guess not many people know Isabelle is my first born? 

43. What is a wish your sim has? Get married one day

44. What is a flaw your sim has? My birth mark Id say

45. How do others generally perceive your sim? I dont get very nice looks when Im out with Ali what with being so young and all, the bump I have now isnt helping. I wish people would just mind their business and know Im not just a messed up teen mom..... anymore

46. Does your sim have a greatest achievement? Graduating high school, a year late but I made it 👏

47. If they have one, what is your sim’s greatest regret? Sometimes I regret not having an open adoption with Isabelle. I mean, I get to see her but she still thinks Im her aunt Gemma :(

48. Does your sim have a favourite emoji? 💋💎🤦‍♀️

49. Does your sim use Simstagram? I use this one ?

50. What is the last text your sim sent (and who did they text)? Texted Will saying “Babbeeyy, can we have thai food tonight?😇” He said of course ❣

#get to know my sims #sims 3 ocs #oc gemma #tags #thanks for the tag #mada-didi #simblr #following simblrs

[gentlemanmendes]

Philophobia | 8 |

Previous chapters can be found in my masterlist under Philophobia

08:

When I wake up the first thing I do is look around my dorm room only to find it empty. I’m not going to lie, that was a blow to the chest, I suppose shawn just isn’t done getting payback just yet and I can’t say I blame him.

When I had finished my little crying fit it had gotten a bit awkward so shawn had driven me back to my dorm and stayed with me all night. We hadn’t said much instead we just watched a few movies together off of my laptop and eventually drifted to sleep.

The fact that I’m upset was annoying me, I wanted to see shawn again today but I wasn’t about to tell him that. If only there was a way I could let him know I wanted to hang out with him with out seeming desperate. As if on queue my phone starts buzzing somewhere in the mess of sheets of my bed. I rummage through my sheets rapidly, throwing blankets and pillows everywhere trying to find it. As soon as my hand skims across the smooth glass I let out a victorious squeal before sliding my thumb across the screen to answer smiling to myself at who the caller was. I had heard my dad once saying that sometimes the thought of someone could cross your mind and their’s at the same time which is what could bring them to contact you whole your thinking of them, at the time I had thought it was a loud of rubbish but right now I can’t help but wonder if there is a slight possibility of truth to his words. I had been thinking of shawn and he had just randomly called me at that exact moment, call me crazy but I couldn’t help but thinking maybe it was fate.

“Hello.” I say into the phone and curse myself for the sickly sweet tone of my voice and the way I couldn’t stop smiling no matter how hard I tried to.

“Good you’re awake!” I hear shawn say followed by some rummaging in the background. I want to know where he is, what he is up to, what he’s done so far today, even if it was a boring answer I was curious to know. What is wrong with me? I never give a crap about other people nor am I one to care for small talk. I’m going to kill this boy for making me care, I swear!

“Yeah I just woke up.” I inform him with a shrug before physically face playing ‘I just woke up’ what am I a fifteen year old trying to come off as carefree?

“Yeah I figured.” I could picture shawn shrugging his shoulder and cocking his head slightly to the side with his hands loosely shoved into his pocket as he lazy replied. It was his go to trait when he replied to someone after nothing really needed to be said, it was like he was scared of leaving someone on read but instead of sending a pointless emoji he did that.

“I was thinking,” he starts off hesitantly his voice a little louder than usual as if he was forcing himself to spit it out. “That we could go get some breakfast, or lunch cause it’s almost two?” My smile widens and I do a fist pump at the fact that shawn had mentioned meeting up today first.

Usually we texted each other but today he had called, I couldn’t help but bring myself to believe that things were changing between shawn and I. Although neither of us had said anything yet it felt like we were crossing a bridge between friends to something more and I couldn’t help but feel like it was exciting. I have never been to this destination before nor have I liked a guy before but right now I wanted to jump right in and forget about common sense or any of my fears or self promises.

“Sounds good.” I was gong to reply with 'I’d love to’ until I re,here’s that I don’t say stuff like that and I sure as hell don’t plan to start anytime soon. I just need to keep being myself, which is usually the last thing I tell myself to do because apparently people don’t like a sarcastic, mean, asshole but with Shawn it seems to work.

“I’ll pick you up in about ten minute.” Shawn tells me and with the struggle in his tone I can picture him standing by the door of his apartment the side of his face pressed against his shoulder as he talks to me on the phone while attempting to pull his shoes on. I’m surprised that I can picture these things about shawn so vividly. I suppose in the last month of being friends I managed to pick up on stuff about him that I hadn’t even taken notice of until now. It was like I was seeing in colour for the first time; everything felt so much warmer, vibrant, and meaningful now.

“Alright see you then.” I hang up before realising that I only had ten minutes to get ready. My hair was a mess, my face blotchy and dark circles seemed to take over my eyes not to mention the fact that I’m positive majority of my clothes are dirty because I keep procrastinating on when to clean them. Tonight! I tell myself again though I know I won’t be following through with it. Jumping out of bed I decide that for the first time in a long time I will make my bed,  don’t want shawn to rack up and see that I’m a messy sleepier, maybe I can impress him with how well I can make a bed, do guys look at that kind of stuff?

After trying on what little clothes I have left that are clean I decide to raid Mia’s wardrobe, the first and last time this would ever happen. Mia would freak out if she found out I was borrowing on of her white lacy casual dresses and take it the wrong way thinking I prefer her girly style over my ripped jeans and oversized shirts. It’s just that I want something to resemble how I feel right now, and right now I actually want to put a bit of effort in to my appearance. I contemplate for a long time whether I want to wear makeup or not before deciding on very minimal coverage and mascara before pulling on my converse and gathering my things before hurrying out the door texting shawn to pick me up from where he usually does. I cringe at how stupid that probably seemed considering he always picked me up from the same spot so naturally he would already be waiting for me there.

***

“A picnic? That is so cliche that I swear to god I’m going to throw up.” I groan as shawn sits down on the bench that looked over the lake. At least he hadn’t taken us to Central Park I honk then I defiantly would have thrown up from how cliche the concept was.

“It is not a picnic.” Shawn defended as he pulled out his sandwich from the paper bag and then handed it to me. “Picnics involve picnic baskets and picnic blankets, we are eating take away food in a public place, nothing cliche about that.” I laugh at Shawn’s lame defence that was I guess in some cases right and shrugged taking my sandwich from him. “Besides you don’t strike me as the type of person who likes being indoors.” I can’t hide the dreaming smile at Shawn’s words no matter how hard I try to.

He had only pointed out something small that I had never mentioned to him but he knew me well enough to know that I couldn’t handle being indoors for too long. It was true, indoors I felt trapped and as a person who couldn’t sit still for long it was a complete nightmare. Where as outside I felt like I had so much space to move around and do whatever I wanted. Mia had always made fun of the fact that for someone so lazy I was quite hyperactive but I just simply shrugged it off agreeing that I probably seemed crazy.

As I unwrap the sandwich I notice the pinky looking meat and frown lightly to myself. I know that it is all fresh because shawn didn’t make it but I pull a face causing shawn to question me about what was wrong in alarm.

“What type of meat is this?” I question, answering his question with a question of my own.

“Ham, why?” Shawn quizzed seeming more confused.

“I don’t eat ham.” I laughed aloud, maybe this guy didn’t know me as well as I was giving him credit for. “I’m Muslim remember.” I take out the meat in the sandwich and made to throw it to the ducks until I realised that may classify as   cannibalism and hand it over to shawn who gladly adds it too his sandwich.

“So you are religious?"Shawn wonders. I don’t recall ever really having this conversation with him and can’t help but ponder on the thought of whether he knew I was Muslim. It was kind of obvious due to my name and brothers names but then again I separate myself from my family and everything they stand for so much that it could be a complete surprise.

"No, yes, I don’t know” I huff confused. Religion has always been a hard thing for me to grasp on. I know I believe in something but I can’t  pass as religious  because I drink and I’ve had sex and I don’t obey my mother and farther and rarely pray, okay so I’m a really bad Muslim and probably put shame on Islam but I guess I classify because that was how I was raised.

“Is there anything you do know about yourself Adee?” Shawn quizzes and I’m grateful he doesn’t dwell on the topic too much. He didn’t sit there and look at me differently, he didn’t judge me for my confused beliefs, he just went on like nothing had changed.

“Nope!” I exclaim proudly smiling up at him causing him to roll his eyes at me but give a small laugh in response.

Shawn and I talked about deeper stuff as we sat by the lake, he told me about how he grew up outside of LA on his parents beach front and only came to New York because his parents wanted him to study at a good university but then he deferred from law, which was what his parents wanted him to study, to focus on music. They were disappointed that he wasn’t following in his fathers footsteps but they didn’t cut him off or disown him for his choice. That was when I realised just how hypercritical my parents really were. They always went on about how non-Muslim families had no morals and didn’t know how to raise their children right but they were wrong. Shawn’s parents, although upset with his choice, still loved him and spoke to him every few days. I flew half way across the country for a weekend and still couldn’t get my parents to even look at me let alone speak to me. Sure I hadn’t handled it properly and probably shouldn’t have yelled at them but I was just so frustrated and hurt. Didn’t my grandpa move to America to give us a better future, to give us a choice, a chance to  experience new things, a different life style. If they wanted to go about living their lives the exact same way they should just move back to the war torn country they had left, although it wasn’t war torn anymore.

“I’m curios about your background.” Shawn blurted out causing me to frown a I rested my head on his lap looking out at the changing scenery. I had never noticed before just how much the time of day affects things like the reflection of the water, or the colour of the leaves on a trees, you think as a photographer that would have been one of the first things I had learned; the affects of lighting and its angles, but I hadn’t taken notice until now.

“Why?” I snort. As a kid I hated being different. I was always teased in elementary school for it. The food I would bring was different to everyone else’s, while they had peanut butter sandwiches I had left over Lebanese food for dinner. Naturally I had spoken two languages at home; a mixture of Lebanese and English, it was weird because we would say half the sentence in English but then one word in Arabic and it was considered normal to me so that was what I did at school. They would say my name wrong on purpose just to make me cry. Elementary school had been very lonely and if it wasn’t for Mia I’m positive I would have never left home again. By middle school everyone was too confused on who they were becoming and thankfully I had learned to fit in and stay hidden But high school was the worst. That was when everyone understood what a Muslim was, or so they thought they did but instead the uneducated pricks associated it with terrorism and I got called all sorts of things. At first I cried, every night, but then I learned that I didn’t care because I wasn’t really religious. The more I acted out the more people forgot about my background. I think if it wasn’t for my parents constantly acting like we were so different Mia probably would have forgotten as well.

“Cause.” Shawn shrugged his shoulders as I turned so I was lying on my back looking up at him. “I don’t know, it’s different, it’s cool. Your family has history. Aren’t you proud of it.

"My grandpa was offered a job and moved out here and slowly made money  until he had enough to bring out his wife, mum, and twelve kids. He died before I was born so I don’t know him.”

“Twelve kids?” Shawn quizzed baffled, we are talking abo a Lebanese family in sixties of course they had that many kids.

“Yeah, now you know why I hate family gatherings, their is never any food left.” I pout truthfully, it could also be the fact that I don’t get along with anyone but I think it’s mainly the food thing.

“What about your mums side?”

“I don’t know, she doesn’t really talk about them. Her mum died when she was very young and then her dad remarried when she was ten and his wife had four kids all around the same age who were horrible to her after her dad died when she was twelve. She was like a real life Cinderella. And Lebanon isn’t like here, there is either really rich or really poor, and they were poor. My mum didn’t get much at all. When she turned seventeen she was told on her eighteenth birthday she was to be married. She didn’t know who he was or anything about him except for the fact that he lived in America. I think back then it was easier to get a visa, so my parents married on my mums eighteenth birthday and my dad brought her back here. He taught her how to speak English when he wasn’t working and I guess slowly they learned to love each other. I mean they had six kids after that so.” I trailed off. I honestly hated my parents story. It was morbid and made me sad, they didn’t even know each other or fall in love and yet they were married. On their wedding day they had laid eyes on each other for the first time and then my mum moved to a whole knew country on the other side of the world with this man she didn’t even know. Yet I wasn’t aloud to do a photography class on the other side of the country?

“That’s crazy.” Shawn said amazed as he took in what I said. “Your parents never met before their wedding day, and twelve kids, I still can’t get over that.” Shawn seemed fascinated which actually worried me, it wasn’t that much. I know heaps of stories about arranged marriages if he wants to hear them.

“What about your parents? How did they meet?” It’s only fair he tells me the story about how his parents met. I know that this isn’t proper date talk but I couldn’t help but enjoy it. I felt like I was learning something knew about shawn even if it wasn’t a story about him, it was still interesting to know where he came from.  

“My parents met at a train station. My mum had been traveling around Europe and my dad was on his way to a meeting, my dad had gotten on the wrong train and didn’t speak the language so my mum told him to get on the first train he saw and hope for the best, so he followed her onto her train and did just that.”

“That’s actually kind of cute, and that’s coming from me.” I blurt out causing shawn to laugh.

Tag list: @pattinsonshawn

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes series #Philophobia sm #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fiction #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes writing

[lalka-laski]

Can you recommend any Neil Gaiman to me, aside from Stardust or Good Omens? The only book I’ve read of his was “The Ocean at the End of the Lane.” It was good, just not really my scene. 

What’s the best concert you’ve been to, if you’ve been? The Killers, hands down. 

Is there an animal you like that most people don’t? I kinda like spiders and most people are terrified of them. Which makes me the designated spider-catcher whenever one’s nearby. (I never kill them. Just relocate them!)

Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it’s liked? Dogs 

Do you find yourself listening to music that’s a bit more esoteric? I guess sometimes. But a great deal of what I listen to could be considered “mainstream.” 

What are your three favorite books and why? This is an impossible question! So I’ll respond with the 3 best books I’ve read *lately* Water for Elephants, This Close to Okay, What Comes After (I’m still in the middle of it but I sense it’ll become a fave!) 

What about authors? Anita Shreve, Taylor Jenkins Reid, Patti Callahan Henry Do you have any likes you wouldn’t tell someone until you got to know them? I have some ~guilty pleasures~ but I’m not so ashamed of them that I’d keep them secret. 

Do you have a favorite language? Polish

What about a place you’ve always wanted to visit? Poland, Northern Ireland, Iceland

Do goldfish crackers ever make you sick, or is that just me? Nah I enjoy them.

Do you have a favorite art style? I’m not familiar enough with art technique/history. 

Do you have a favorite myth/fairy-tale? Sleeping Beauty, of course! 

Who is your favorite person aside from family? Glenn 

Do any of your pets (if you have them) have weird quirks? I don’t have pets. And probably won’t ever. 

Do you listen to music from anywhere besides America? How boring would my life be if I limited myself to only music from America (or any single country for that matter). 

Have you ever “quit” a site and came back to it more than once? Facebook a couple times

Do you have an “odd” fascination with anything?  I’m sure there are several things but of course I can’t think of any at the moment What is the thing you want most at this moment? I guess I’d prefer not to be at work but it’s really not so bad. 

What was the last book you read and what was it about? I’m currently reading What Comes After about the aftermath of the deaths of two teenage boys 

What was the worst book you’ve ever read & why? There have been several I’ve started and couldn’t bear to finish. 

Do you have a favorite breed of dog or cat? Which? Nah I’m not much of a dog OR cat person. 

If you like any anime/manga, what are some titles you recommend? I don’t watch it but Glenn’s a huge fan and could rattle of a looooong list if you were interested

What’s the hardest thing you’ve been through, & what did you learn from it? I think it’s kinda of weird to rank my painful experiences like that. I’ve felt pain in different ways at different points of my life. 

What are three “unrealistic” things you want most? My dream body, my dream house, my dream career

What are some of your favorite foods? Pizza, falafel, popcorn, chips & dips (I’m a snacker for sure) 

Where do you like to buy your clothes? Lately I’ve just been buying bullshit on Amazon (and then getting disappointed when the quality & fit are terrible). But my favorite stores are Windsor & Express. 

Do you take any daily vitamins? Magnesium & B12

Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? Elle Woods, Lizzie McGuire, Mr. Gellar from Friends 

If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Mermaids. Just because they’d be cool as hell. 

When buying Slurpees, if you do, do you get only one flavor or mix them? I haven’t had a slurpee since I was a kid, but IIRC I liked Blue Raspberry. 

Do you have a favorite 7Eleven food? We don’t have many 7Elevens around me but I will admit I love me some gas station/convenience store food.

Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? Polish, because I want to speak the language of my ancestors. And because I just think it’s beautiful.

If you could have any career, “realistic”-ness aside, what would it be? Published author or maybe a content creator for a lifestyle blog/magazine. 

What are three memorable movies from your childhood? Sleeping Beauty, of course. Toy Story, Monster’s Inc 

Do you, personally, put a space after ellipses, or not? Nope

Micky D’s sweet tea, y/n/other? Not a fan of sweet tea, period. 

What are three of your best (non-physical) qualities? Friendliness, empathy, creativity. 

What are three of your worst (again; non-physical) qualities? Anxiousness, hyper-sensitivity, impulsiveness 

What is one of your firmest beliefs? Moe’s is FAR superior to Chipotle in every conceivable way. 

Do you ever question things until you’re unsure of even the silliest thing? Yeah, overthinking is my superpower. 

Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you’d truly enjoy? ~ANXIETY~ What are your three biggest pet peeves (personality-wise) in others? Arrogance, close-mindedness are the top of my list. I also can’t STAND conversation hogging. 

Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I could work on them MORE... but yes I always own up to them. 

What are three of your best physical qualities? (NOT EYES!) Collarbones, nose, the shape of my lips 

What are some of your greatest aspirations? Write a book, have a family 

How do you hope the world will change, if at all? That’s just too heavy of a question. I’m just here to chill! 

What are three things that make you the happiest? My loved ones, my babies, good food! 

What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? I don’t subscribe to any fixed set of beliefs but I could be considered spiritual. 

Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? No, I actually think they’re kinda cool. 

Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Nope.

What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I’m at work and currently on a Dell. At home I have a Chromebook. 

What are you good at? Writing, worrying... 

What career do you hope to have? Writer

Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I’m done with school (for now)

If you don’t attend, are you taking any “lessons” for anything No, although there have been several creative writing courses and workshops I’ve had my eye on. I really should register for one.  A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? For Women who are Difficult to Love by Warsan Shire

If you know of pandora.com, what is your favorite station? I only listen to Pandora at work and the office usually has “Brunch Cafe Radio” on which plays a lot of coffehouse style singer/songwriters. I dig it! Have you ever “lost” a friend in any way? How did you deal? Of course I have. Friend “breakups” can be just as painful and life-altering as romantic ones and I wish that was discussed more.

Any music recommendations? I’m actually on the hunt for some new music so if anyone has reccs for ME... that’d be cool.

What are at least three of your biggest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, birds (:

Most recently read book that you liked? The last book I read in full was Jessica Simpson’s memoir Open Book. And it was surprisingly delightful & touching. 

Do you have a piece of jewelry you don’t like to take off? My claddagh ring & of course, my engagement ring.

Do you have a favorite quote? Why is it your favorite? Too many to list Any odd pastimes you have? I like reading the inmate profiles on Writeaprisoner.com, then googling the inmate’s names to find out what crime(s) they committed. 

Are you quirky in any way? (Name them please). I have some OCD tendencies that could be considered peculiar. Oh, I also hate wearing shoes or socks & prefer to be barefoot whenever possible. 

Political standing? Filthy liberal 

Do you have any piercings/what do you think about piercings? I have none as I just don’t think they suit me. But they look great on other people. 

Do you have a favorite material? Not really? 

What are three names you’d name a pet if you HAD to get a pet right now? Brixton, named for David Bowie’s hometown. 

Do you like to listen to dorky/amusing music? What’s considered dorky and/or amusing? 

Coffee vs. Tea vs. Energy Drinks: Order from favorite to least favorite. Coffee & tea are probably tied. And energy drinks are dead last. I avoid them. 

Do you like more “fruity” sweets or “savory” sweets? What the fuck is a savory sweet?

What do you hate the most? My anxiety 

What genres of music are your favorite? Most of my faves could be classified as alternative/soft-rock 

Do you believe in true love? Absolutely 

What are some of your favorite clothing accessories? I’m not big on accessories. I love sunglasses, though. 

If reincarnation exists, what sort of person would you want to be next? Someone born into wealth  What are some things you believe strongly in? Love, forgiveness, second chances 

Where’s your favorite place you’ve been? My family’s cottage in Canada 

What sort of books and movies do you like? Book-wise I love a good family drama or tragedy. And the occasional cutesy love story. As for movies, I want all rom-coms all day.

What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday? Read, write, maybe marathon a show, cook something yummy in the crockpot...

Is there a book you’ve read that really touched you? Have you MET me?

PC or MAC? PC 

What do you love doing? Reading, writing, spending time with loved ones, crafting, cooking, going out to eat, watching live music

If you could create the perfect world for yourself, what would it be? All my loved ones would be present, we’d have NO financial burdens, good health, plenty of free time to devote to our hobbies & passions

Do you think that fate plays a part in people’s lives? Somewhat, yeah. But action > everything.

Are you religious, spiritual, atheist…? Spiritual

Do you think that people throw the words “love” and “hate” around too much? Eh, maybe. But I’m a deeply emotional person so although I may say I love and hate things frequently, I mean it sincerely every time.

What is your favorite piece of technology that you own? My phone, no doubt. It’s glued to my hand. 

What’s a piece of technology you’d like to own? I’m not a real techhy person so I don’t need much besides what I already have. 

Are you afraid of technology developing to where we’re too reliant on it? We’re past that point my dude. 

Does it bother you when people do things to fit in with a certain crowd? Yeah, but I can’t say I don’t do the same

Hot or cold? I’d much rather be cold. I am MISERABLE when hot & sweaty.  Do you think that Bzoink should extent the character amount for questions? What the hell is Bzoink

Do you have a favorite combination of complimentary colors? Pastel pink & pastel, dusty blue. (These are my dream wedding colors) 

What’s your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I love any kind of oatmeal/oat filled ice cream & people seem to find that weird?

Where do you like to get your ice cream? Moonlight Creamery holds a special place in my heart because that’s where I got engaged! And besides that, they really do have some of the best tasting ice cream I’ve ever had. 

What’s your opinion on stereotypes/labels? As humans it’s natural for us to categorized people based on past experiences. Is it always accurate? Of course not. But we all do it.

Do you believe that history repeats itself? Mhmmmmm 

Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Wouldn’t it be nice to just undo them? And since I’m not great at learning from mine... 

What was the most interesting class you had in school? Any creative writing class, of course. Also my Kenyan Literature class was FASCINATING.  Do you write? If so, what? Yes. Mostly personal essays, some poetry & short stories

Do you have a favorite website? Facebook & Twitter are my go-tos. And Reddit when I can’t sleep.

Do you think that the quality of TV shows is going down? I’m not much of a TV watcher so I can’t comment. 

Do you have a favorite culture? Thar’s a borderline creepy question....  What was a story you heard as a child that really affected you? Any kind of ghost story or vaguely paranormal story fucked me up BAD

Who was your favorite grade-school teacher and why? My 5th grade teacher was a doll, so perhaps her. 

Do you think that the world will end? How? Can we NOT

Do you believe in Global Warming? Have you researched it? It’s not up for debate 

Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? I have one tattoo and zero piercings so I guess I’m on team tattoo 

Do you remember your dreams? Almost always 

[expatimes]

Iran imposes new restrictions as COVID-19 deaths surpass 30,000

Tehran, Iran - “The second time I was dealing with the virus, one night I was in so much pain that I said my prayers before going to sleep because I felt like I might not see another morning,” says Tehran resident Sadaf Samimi.

The 29-year-old journalist told Al Jazeera she first tested positive for COVID-19 in July at her workplace and has since been working from home.

But in early September, she got sick a second time with the coronavirus after she met two of her close friends, who had been isolating at home. One of her friends had shopped for groceries at a large market, where they might have contracted the virus.

Samimi said she experienced a shortage of breath and the symptoms of a strong cold the first time she was infected, but getting through the second time was a much more painful experience, marked by severe body pains and a splitting headache, among other symptoms.

“Now I use three face masks and three [pairs of] gloves whenever I go out, ”she said.

“I get so irritated and angry about people who go out unnecessarily and when I see friends posting about going on trips on social media. I feel they and their families have been fortunate enough not to be infected, so they don't know what they're doing to themselves. ”

Samimi said she feels many people are too relaxed considering how dire the situation is.

The authorities agree.

According to health officials, more than four in five Iranians adhered to health protocols in March, weeks after the pandemic began, but that has now dropped to as low as 40 percent.

Authorities maintain that reopening schools and holding public ceremonies to observe religious occasions have had no bearing on the number of cases.

Iran passed 30,000 official COVID-19 casualties on Saturday as health ministry spokeswoman Sima Sadat Lari announced 253 more people lost their lives in the past 24 hours.

Saturday also saw 4,103 more new infections, bringing the country's total to 526,490.

The highest number of single-day infections was recorded at 4,830 cases on Wednesday, when a worst single-day death toll of 279 was also reported.

The majority of Iran's 32 provinces, including Tehran, are still classified as red in a color-coded scale denoting the severity of outbreaks.

New restrictions for Tehran

In response to the alarming rise in the number of infections, deaths and hospitalisations, officials have introduced new restrictions for Tehran, which is bearing the brunt of COVID-19 cases in the country facing the worst outbreak in the Middle East.

Last week, a mandatory city-wide mask rule was implemented and President Hassan Rouhani announced fines for people and businesses who fail to adhere to the rules.

He said people who violate the mask rule will face a fine of 500,000 rials ($ 1.6), while the highest fine for individuals has been defined at 2 million rials ($ 6.6) for those who test positive for COVID-19 and knowingly endanger others by not quarantining.

Businesses have also been ordered to refuse offering services to people without masks and could face up to 10 million rials ($ 33) in penalties, and ultimately, closures.

Finalising the penalties took weeks and police officials, who have been tasked with issuing the penalties, say no fines have been issued yet.

At the request of the health ministry, officials also put in effect three-day travel restrictions on five metropolises that expire at the end of Saturday.

As part of the travel restrictions, which do not apply to travel by rail or air, only people whose license plates are registered in Tehran, Karaj, Mashhad, Isfahan and Urmia, or can prove they live in these cities, are allowed to travel to and from there.

The move came in response to an expected wave of travel during the three-day period, which coincided with national religious holidays.

On Saturday, Tehran's governor announced the city's partial shutdown - that saw the closure over the past two weeks of cafes, universities, cinemas and sport centers, among other places - will remain in place until at least October 23.

But authorities have been unable to impose more comprehensive lockdowns because the economy is still under immense pressure from sanctions imposed by the United States.

The sanctions have come relentlessly after US President Donald Trump unilaterally withdrew from a 2015 nuclear deal between Iran and world powers.

Samimi, who has lost several extended family members and family friends since the start of the pandemic, says after going through the COVID-19 ordeal twice, she strongly supports any restrictions that could help save lives.

“I'm no economic expert and I don't know what the financial toll will be for people and businesses, but I think human lives are more important than the economy,” she said.

"I think a damaged economy can recover, but the life that escapes a body will never come back."

But in an economy marked by high inflation and unemployment, many do not have the option to work from home or lose their limited incomes.

“I follow all the protocols as best I can, but a hungry stomach doesn't care about these things,” Shahrokh, a 50-year-old father of two who works as a driver in an online ride-hailing app, told Al Jazeera.

“I stayed at home for a few weeks when the pandemic first began, but I've been out working since. It's fate; if I'm supposed to die, I die, ”said Shahrokh, who suffers from diabetes, a condition that makes him much more vulnerable if he contracts the virus.

'Health workers are tired'

Meanwhile, health workers across Iran, especially in Tehran, are under increasing pressure.

“I'm not the most experienced person, but caring for COVID patients has been one of the strangest and saddest experiences I've ever had,” said 24-year-old Mahsa, a final-year medical intern who spent months working in hospitals affiliated with the Azad University in Tehran during the pandemic.

“What struck me the most was the amount of anxiety, frustration and concern in patients and their families,” she told Al Jazeera.

Mahsa said it was especially frustrating for her and her colleagues not to be able to console patients; In part because so much remains unknown about the virus, and because of restriction caused by having to observe physical distancing and wear so much protective gear.

At times, she said, hospital staff could not even keep patients in the emergency room for a few minutes to give them an oxygen boost before sending them away to another hospital.

Footage aired by state-run television from hospitals in the capital in recent days have also shown that many have no empty beds, even in emergency rooms, and have no choice but to leave patients waiting or to turn them away.

Last week, the health ministry announced hospitals across the country must refuse to admit all non-emergency patients.

What is more, many hospitals are facing shortages in medicine, especially treatments that have shown promise in helping COVID-19 patients.

This has forced distraught family members to scramble for medicine, at times from black markets, often at astronomical prices that many cannot afford.

Last week, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei ordered all military hospitals to accept coronavirus patients, while commander-in-chief of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) Hossein Salamiged “the entire medical and support capacity of the IRGC” to help fight the virus.

According to Mahsa, “What is evident the most at the moment among health workers is fatigue and exhaustion from the overflow of patients, and having to wear protective gear and following strict protocols at all times, even during brief rest periods, because rest areas are shared as well. ”

The head of the Medical Council of Iran had the same message last week, saying “health workers are tired” in a news conference.

“Predominantly curing COVID in intensive care units is not feasible,” Mohammadreza Zafarghandi said.

"We must be thinking of preventing infections."

#world Read full article: https://expatimes.com/?p=12108&feed_id=10472

[cleverwolfpoetry]

Psycho-pass Movie Novel Chapter 4 - Final Part

Sorry, sorry, sorry for making you wait for so long, it may take me some time but I’ve not stopped working on Psycho-pass novels at all. Two jobs and a family are not easy to handle. Anyway, here we are with the final part of chapter 4.

As always, the sentences in italics are the characters thoughts.

4

The line of vehicles had been arranged in a huge elevator as it was. It didn’t give the sense of being on the top of a building, that huge elevator. Large as a soccer ground, it was climbing steeply the city tower, heart of Shambala Float. When the elevator came to a stop with a loud sound, the top floors of the city tower opened up to the eye with their magnificent view. The sky gardens of Krita Yuga. A lot of green — not artificial, but real plants growing everywhere. One could tell at first sight they were real because of the taste of the refreshing air.

In the pictures: the huge elevator and the sky gardens of Krita Yuga.

The rest after the cut…

Positioned across the large courtyard, the Chairman’s official residence was a compromise between the colonial style and a medieval palace. Got off the car, Tsunemori’s group stepped into the Chairman’s official residence. Rather than human soldiers, security drones made in Japan were overwhelmingly larger in number. Under Nicholas’ guidance, she advanced all the way to a special parlor.  

“Excuse me”

Walking through a thick door made of the best mahogany wood, she stepped firmly onto a luxury carpet.

Chuan Han, the SEAUn’s Chairman, was already sitting at the head of the table far from the entrance.

“I am Tsunemori Akane, Inspector at the Japanese Ministry of Welfare’s Public Safety Bureau”

“I am Chuan Han”

Han went to offer his hand to Tsunemori who was standing up. She answered with a rather unconvinced smile.

“Surely I didn’t think that the Chairman would have met me personally”

“The thing is that I am very interested in you”

“Ah…”

Han sat down. Then, he invited Tsunemori to take a sit too.

A dictator, leader of the military clan — . Though she had been told so, she hadn’t realized straight away*. An intelligent elderly man, well-trained for his age and dressed in a custom-made suit that really suited him.

“Our Shambala Float. How is it? I would really like to hear your impressions as an inspector from Japan, birthplace of the Sibyl System”

“I think that even with limited machineries and materials, you’re searching for the best way. However, you still have many things left to do…”

“Ah ah ah, this is harsh”

Han laughed in a businesslike manner.

“…this time, I’ve been told I can receive your help in the international investigation?”

“The man you’re after, I heard he’s a terrorist who’s supporting the guerrilla, isn’t it?”

— the fugitive Kougami Shinya.

“…we have such a suspicion but…”

“About the measures against guerrilla in this country, I simply want to repress it. I don’t call that an investigation”

Even while laughing, Han was intimidating her with an inner glow in his eyes.

However, Tsunemori also stared back at him without flinching.

“Won’t I receive help?”

“…of course you will, you’ll receive unstinting aid. Only, the situation of this country and even its foundation are different with the ones of your country. I hope I can get your understanding at least on that”

“…I understand”

“In case you go out of this special district of Shambala and visit the key facilities, always act together with the guard that’s been arranged here”

“Together…with the guard?”

“Is it a nuisance?”

“No…”

Han looked towards Nicholas,

“I’m counting on you. Treat her right”

“Leave it to me”

5

It had been arranged that Tsunemori would stay in the residence for foreign important guests located in a corner of Krita Yuga’s sky gardens. Despite its name of vip guest house, hers wasn’t a place where people with a status of heads of state or ministers stayed for the night, but a relatively modest sleeping quarters for the retinue. RELATIVELY MODEST* — .  And yet, it was doubtlessly the same class one could find in the suites of first category hotels. A loft structure built in a cottage-style mainly made of grained wood. She could enjoy the city view from the big windows.

The self-moving suitcase had reached the room first.

“Open case”

At Tsunemori’s words, the suitcase opened on its own.

The contents were scarce, the bare minimum. However, Tsunemori noticed a pouch she didn’t remember placing inside that case and let out a doubtful “mm?”. When she picked it up to examine it, she saw it was accompanied by a card with Karanomori Shion’s kiss mark.

On the card, the sentence “open it if you’re in trouble”.

“Geez, Shion-san…”

She appropriately took off her shoes and clothes and lied down on the bed.

“Ha…”

Tsunemori opened the documents she had previously prepared in Japan on her portable terminal. Visual and written data got displayed one by one on the holographic monitor.

— Chuan Han. Former General of the Army. The Shogun leading the military which has fought for the hegemony on the union.  

He gained the support of Japanese Government on condition that he created a special district governed by Sibyl within SEAUn’s territory and overwhelmed the rival powers. He founded the newborn Parliament.

However, the voice opposing to the political power obtained through the military force hasn’t stopped, and the situation within the territory is unstable as ever. Even in the special district of the maritime Shambala Float, the arrangements for a strict defense are ongoing by means of a collection of unmanned weapons…

The terrorist group who entered Japan illegally…after all, I guess they are members of the antigovernment guerrilla. Han’s power base lies just in the Japanese Government’s support. The distant Sibyl System is the one supporting Shambala Float. Military drones. So, has Tōkyō become a target of retaliation terrorism…?

At that moment, the room interphone announced a visitor.

“Excuse me, may I come in?”

“Ah, yes”

A young girl dressed in modest maid clothing stepped into the room. She must have been around 14 years old, right? A healthy brown skin and lovely round eyes. She was wearing that collar showing she was a latent criminal.

“I am honored to look after you. My name is Nyan Yō. If you need anything, I’m at your service”

“I am glad to meet you too”  

“I can surely arrange your meal immediately. I don’t have to care about access restriction so, if you let me link to your portable terminal, I also shall be able to receive your order through that. Even late at night me or my coworkers will meet your requests. Besides, I was told by Nicholas-sama that in case you go out, as long as it’s a building classified as restricted or ‘the other side of the bridge’, there is no problem even if you move by yourself, Tsunemori-sama”

“I see”

“As the restriction on buying and selling of alcoholic products is going to start in a week thanks to the System’s influence, if you want to try some this is the right time. For the time being, you can control entirely the room features with the touch panel on your bedside table. If you need a holo avatar…”

“Well…”

“Yes?”

“It’s a personal question so, is it right for you?”

“If I can answer…”

“This…life you’re leading at ‘Shambala’, is it happy?”

After smiling in a slight melancholic way, Yō answered.

“…of course”

“But, that collar… it must be a menace for you. In the worst case it could even take away your life*”

“If I can keep my psycho-pass stable enough I will be safe, isn’t it so?”

“…I’m sorry. Manners here are different from Japan’s, I can’t get used to it no matter what…”

“No, don’t apologize like this…”

“Does it mean that you approve a domination by means of Sibyl System? Even if it was that collar?”

“The inhabitants of this island, every one of them is really thankful to Chairman Han who introduced the Sibyl System”

“…”

“…not so long ago, there were no safe places everywhere in this country”

6

Night came on. The real investigation activity would have been tomorrow. Tsunemori had decided to eat dinner in the busy quarters of Dvapara Yuga lower stories. The bustling streets extended outwards from the base of the city tower. That was the place for middle class citizens with good hue and psycho-pass rather that for the wealthy class. It wasn’t as much a mess as the ‘outside’ of the city on the water but it was rather disorderly.

Tsunemori let her guard down if only just a little at the night view of the new refreshing country. Even the huge images casted by the Japan-made hologram devices had a rich exotic charm and the religious mood was quite strong. A combined atmosphere of labyrinths and a lot of towers — the lower story was like encircled by walls.   Even though it should have been a cramped space, the view of the holograms was open and distorted the sense of distance.

She roamed absent-mindedly around the bustling streets.

What a hot country — .

The hot air of the daytime still remained on the floor surface of the mega-float. She wiped lightly the sweat formed on her forehead and entered a street with stalls all lined up. There were some stalls selling food and others selling small furniture and accessories.

Tsunemori didn’t enter a restaurant but an eatery with a cheap appearance. She mingled with the local people and ate South-eastern Asia’s typical dishes. A Vietnamese spring roll* made of shrimps and vegetables. A salad with coriander and an acidic dressing. Curry with chicken and potatoes. The curry had a taste different from the Japanese one, the red pepper paste and coconut milk had been dosed with just the right balance. Even if she was tired, that dish tasted like she could eat as much as she liked.

— this heat makes me thirsty.

The sweaty shirt was sticking to Tsunemori’s skin. As in the upper stories the air conditioning was impeccable, it was not probable that this sensation could be tasted there.

Tsunemori, who had finished her meal, bought a bottled beer at a stall. She was slightly surprised because the old man of the stall used an anachronistic unfamiliar utensil called ‘bottle opener’. There was a small park on an elevated ground that allowed to look down on the bustling streets, Tsunemori leaned against a railing there and drank directly from the bottle. A cold beer. The carbon dioxide fizzed in her throat and a refreshing taste popped inside the chest.  

“…”

May I have gotten drunk — ? Tsunemori looked at the ghosts*.

Kagari Shusei, Masaoka Tomomi, Funehara Yuki had gathered around her before she could notice it. Everyone sent to Tsunemori an affectionate glance that seemed to ask her ‘Are you well?’  ‘Are you happy?’  

If Kougami Shinya was here, things would be completely like in the past— .

(ah…that’s right)

— maybe in my subconscious I was comparing the Division 1 I had been initially assigned to with the present Division 1.

A good team. The Division 1 from the times Tsunemori was still a newbie. Even now, somewhere deep in her heart, the feeling that they were the best team at those days was still remaining. Even after the Makishima case had been solved, she couldn’t get rid of that feeling. If Kougami, Kagari or Masaoka teamed up with the present Ginoza become an enforcer, what kind of job would have they done?

“That’s not good…isn’t it?”

Unintentionally, I can’t but think about things fallen apart.

Livening up, she swallowed the remained beer.

NOTES TO TRANSLATION:

*Though she had been told so, she hadn’t realized straight away: a little explanation of this sentence cause it may sound not clear. In Akane’s mind, Han’s interest for her doesn’t make sense. Why should a politician, leader of the country, dictator, etc., be interested in a common woman like her? At that moment, she doesn’t understand the reason and smiles unconvinced. Then Has tells her that he wanna hear her opinion about Shambala…well, there may be other reasons to be interested in her. After all he is one of the brains of Sibyl, but we can only make suppositions about it.

*RELATIVELY MODEST: I guess that after 4 chapters you already know why it’s written in capital letters. Same reason of all the other parts: in the book this sentence is written with dots above the kanjis.

*it could even take away your life: I’d like to point out this sentence in the text. Instead of using the verb 殺す (to kill), the author used the verb 命を奪うtake away your life (literally to steal your life). I like to think (but it’s just my personal thought) that it is a way to underline how Akane is always attentive to life and how she keeps it as precious, as her grandma used to say to her.

*Vietnamese spring roll: in Japanese namaharumaki (生春巻き), in Vietnamite it’s called Ram. Ram is always made from whole shell-on shrimp or chopped deshelled shrimp and some green onion, wrapped in rice paper and deep fried. Ram, like most specialty food items from central Vietnam, are not widely available in Vietnamese restaurant overseas. (from Wikipedia).

* ghosts: the word used in the Japanese text is   幻   (まぼろし) that means both ghost/ phantom and illusion/vision/dream. Both of the meaning are really fit for the situation. 

Thanks for reading and always supporting me!!!

For more psycho-pass translations you can browse the indexes on my website.

#psycho pass translations #psycho pass movie novel #chapter 4 final part #tsunemori akane

[linaseraphina13]

seeking a friend for the end of the world (winterhunt)

(Just a heads up, I’m probs never going to finish this)

“...yes, they’re saying that it was, in fact, a fire that erupted inside the external tank of the ship... massive explosion killing all twelve crew members....our last and only hope...the final mission to save mankind has failed...I repeat, the seventy mile wide asteroid commonly known as Alexander is set to collide with earth in exactly three weeks time....bringing you full coverage of the minute by minute countdown to the end of days...this is Y102.2 coming at you live from downtown New York.”

May 25th, 21 Days Before Impact

Jasper DeWinter never expected he would make it past 17. Looked like his prediction was coming true.

“They say the damage to the tower has rendered all cellular telephones useless. No word yet on how long water and power will be shut off altogether, but we’ll be bringing you all the information you need, as long as we keep getting updated.”

An asteroid. Of all things, an asteroid; like the one that took out the dinosaurs hundreds of millions of years ago, except bigger, hotter, more destructive. What a way to go out.

Celia always said he’d been one with a flair for drama. How fitting that he would die in the most dramatic way possible.

“They have yet to make an official statement regarding rumors of a classified space launch for high ranking government officials, religious figure heads, and important contributors to athletics and entertainment. It is said that the government is keeping this information classified in order to avoid causing more panic...”

Mother and Father didn’t take the news well, but when had they ever taken anything well? When Janice told them she was pregnant with twins at 16 they disowned her and cut her out of the family will. She no longer had access to the DeWinter inheritance. Although, he supposed that didn’t matter anymore, considering material things like money and social standing would no longer exist in three weeks.

“At least we’re together,” Jasper had said, in a poor attempt to lighten the mood, but Mother was gazing at him thoughtfully, the table gripped tightly enough in her slender fingers to turn her knuckles white. Father wasn’t even looking at him at all.

And then the next morning, 21 days before the end of the world, his parents were gone.

“They were always shitty parents,” his older sister Janice said, chopping onions with a renewed vigor. “At least they left you gas money. Although how that would matter nowadays is beyond me.”

Her house was a ten minute drive from the apartment, located in the sort-of-not suburbs on the outskirts of the city. It was a nice house. It had a pool. The kids had been practically living there ever since the announcement.

“I have a friend. Do you remember Annie? The blond one? I bet I could hook you guys up.” He didn’t say anything. “Come on, I’m sure there’s plenty of girls for you to meet before the end.”

“I don’t want to meet anyone,” he told her.

In the next room, Janice’s stupid kids were screaming and carrying on the way little kids do, blissfully unaware of the impending doom that sat on everyone else’s shoulders; those who were old enough to understand. It left a bad taste in his mouth.

“You’re going to die alone,” his sister said, putting down the cutlery. “Doesn’t that bother you?”

Jasper wanted to yell at her. He wanted to scream that he wasn’t going to die alone; he was going to die with everyone else, at the same time, in a huge, fiery explosion that would turn their planet back into the steaming hunk of rock it started out as and obliterate all signs of life.

But he didn’t. Instead, he just shrugged.

You would think that life would seem different to him now, knowing that he was going to die before his 18th birthday, but it didn’t. He didn’t feel distraught, angry, scared, or panicked like everyone else. He didn’t feel the urgency to make something of his life before it ultimately ended. He felt nothing. He felt numb. He hadn’t really felt anything close to emotion for a long time. Why start now?

The days bled together. Jasper got up at the alarm, ate breakfast, drove to school, sat in the empty classroom while his teachers either didn’t show up or only showed up to bawl their eyes out, then drove home. Rinse and repeat. Reverse and relearn. Time ticked closer and closer to the end.

May 31st, 14 Days Before Impact

“Jasper,” said Mr. Rufus, looking at him tiredly. “You know you don’t have to come in anymore, right?”

The school was empty now, had been getting emptier and emptier as time ran out, but Jasper still came. He was the only one who still came at this point. Not even the teachers wanted to spend their last days here.

Many people took this opportunity to do the things they never got around to doing. He heard all the beaches were backed up with families hoping to get one last day of fun in. Others were taking planes to visit loved ones in various countries. Jasper had family in Vietnam, but he wasn’t close with them. He wondered if that’s where his parents had run off to.

“Why don’t you go home?,” Mr. Rufus pressed. He was an older man with dark skin and tired eyes that reflected the same feeling of hopelessness everyone seemed to have these days. “I’m sure you have something better to do than waste your time here.”

(That was the problem. He didn’t.)

On the way home he passed a fence with advertisements and opportunities pasted onto it with varying degrees of seriousness. Some of them had already run out of tear-aways. Most of them were already defaced with graffiti.

Tired of Waiting For The End? Hire An Assassin, only $5.99

Fuck A Virgin, Call Me! xoxo

Seeking A Friend For The End of The World (see attached number for details)

He threw his jacket onto the couch. His lavish apartment, a beacon of pride and a symbol of wealth for him and his family before, now just an empty husk of a building, cold and unforgiving. I am going to die here, he thought suddenly as he took in the diamond chandelier, the expensive paintings that depicted all of his dead relatives, their blank faces almost mocking in their perch above the fireplace. I am going to die here with no friends and nothing to be proud of.

He flopped onto the couch. Ran fingers through his expensive haircut. Opened up the closet and took down his memory box. Dozens of pictures looked back up at him.

Pictures of his family from Before. His sister, him, and his eldest brother, enlisted in the army at 18 and killed on the front lines of Afghanistan, leaving behind a grieving family and a little brother with the same initials but not the same glory.

Pictures of Celia, his first and only girlfriend, who broke up with him immediately after rumors of the meteor started circulating. If I’m going to die, she’d said to him outside of the school doors, then I don’t want to spend my last days with you. Sorry.

That was fine. He had a feeling she wasn’t really in love with him the way he was in love with her, anyway. At least now he knew for sure.

June 1st, 2:00 am, 13 Days Before Impact

A great man once asked, “What is the meaning of life?”

To have sex and then die, Jasper thought morosely. He didn’t believe in the beauty of life, he didn’t believe in true love. The world was a cold, callous place and humans were just the by-product of evolution gone wrong. Nothing was real. Nothing mattered.

If Celia were here, she’d say something about him slipping into his old emo habits again. She blamed it on the hair. Jasper blamed it on the years of neglect from his parents.

The TV was the only source of light in the apartment. Jasper was barely paying attention to whatever useless drivel was playing. It looked like some sort of soap opera. A Spanish soap opera. He wondered if Celia would like it, if she were here.

Stop thinking about her, his mind hissed to him. She’s never coming back. Just let it go.

Just let it go. She’s gone. Just let it--

Jasper turned his head when his eye caught a shadow moving outside his window. He frowned and squinted when the form took shape of a person crouched on the fire escape.

A burglar?, he thought briefly, surprisingly calm despite the situation. The figure didn’t seem all too daunting, kind of small in stature and making no moves to force their way into the apartment through the window. Whoever it was also had on a garish pink and yellow bomber jacket instead of all-black attire and was probably visible to everyone in the city for three miles.

He placed his book down and cautiously approached the window. As he got closer, he could see that the other person was a boy, around his age, with wild black hair and tan skin and was, in fact, sobbing his eyes out like a maniac on the fire escape.

He tapped on the window. No reaction.

“Hey,” he called, but the other boy didn’t even acknowledge his presence. Irritated, Jasper opened the window and yelled, “Hey!”

The boy screamed and would have nearly fallen off the fire escape and become mosquito splatter on the sidewalk if it hadn’t been for Jasper grabbing ahold of that nightmare of a jacket and pulling him back to safety. The poor kid looked absolutely terrified out of his mind and the tear-tracks on his cheeks only made the situation all that more dramatic.

“What the fuck,” Jasper spat, confused and annoyed. “Why are you crying outside my window?”

But instead of responding the boy took one look at Jasper’s face and immediately threw his arms around his neck, buried his face in his T-shirt, and burst into horrible, ugly sobs. Jasper froze with his hands hovering awkwardly in the air.

“I-I’m so stupid,” the boy wailed with heaving, convulsing gasps that Jasper felt against his chest. “I’m never going to see my dad again. I missed the flight. I missed all the flights. All of them. Now I’ll never be able to get to him in time and it’s all my fault and we’re going to die.”

He continued crying. The tips of his wild curly hair tickled Jasper’s nose.

“Um. There, there,” he attempted. An awkward, barely-making-contact pat on the boy’s heaving back. He didn’t say it was going to be okay, because that would be a straight up lie and not even he was so awful as to make false promises to a dying boy.

“I mean, w-what did I expect? That they would keep the airlines open until the very last day? I’m such a dumbass, I should’ve gone with him instead of staying home, but now I’m stuck here and he’s in California and I can’t even call him to tell him that I...I-”

A fresh wave of tears. Jasper’s shirt was getting thoroughly soaked.

He sighed. Gently pushed the boy away and crouched down to get eye-level with him. He noticed that the stranger had some really pretty gray eyes. Like the stars.

“Do you...want to come inside?,” he offered, stilted, and the shorter boy didn’t hesitate pushing him aside and climbing through the window into his apartment. Now inside, Jasper could see that he was shivering and had on ratty Lego pajamas underneath the jacket. Also he kind of smelled like a wet dog, which was...odd.

The ended up sitting on the couch.

The boy had stopped crying at this point and was awkwardly perched on the very edge of Jasper’s sofa like he half-expected him to turn into a murderous clown.

Jasper wordlessly handed him a cup of coffee. The boy mumbled his thanks and knocked it back in one go without cooling it first. He barely even flinched.

“Nice place you got here,” he commented idly, looking around.

Jasper just stared at him, astounded that he was attempting small talk at a time like this, like they did this all the time. He was almost impressed.

“Why do you have all the lights off? It’s too dark in here.”

“It’s 2 am,” he pointed out, flat.

He flinched, but then scowled as he went on the defensive. “Yeah, but you’re awake.”

“That’s because I have insomnia,” he snapped. “What’s your excuse?”

The boy deflated. “I don’t know. I sleep like the dead normally, but I couldn’t sleep tonight. I can’t stop thinking about my dad. And the asteroid. A-And Havoc isn’t doing so well either.”

Jasper blinked. “What the hell is a ‘Havoc’?”

Almost immediately, tears began welling up in his eyes. Jasper mentally cursed himself.

“Don’t start crying again,” he commanded/begged. “Please.”

He sniffed. Snot was running down his chin and it was quite possibly the grossest thing Jasper had ever seen in his life, but he didn’t comment. Instead, he handed the boy an embroidered handkerchief and watched in partial dismay as the expensive sliver of cloth was soiled beyond recognition.

“My dog,” he choked out once he was finished. “H-He’s back in my apartment. He’s been throwing up a lot. I tried to take him to the vet but they told me there was no point trying to help him since...you know.”

Jasper nodded. It was only logical. He had no idea why this boy was getting so worked up over his dog when all of humanity was going to be wiped out in just a few days, but to each their own.

The boy continued, “I know it’s dumb, but I don’t know what I’ll do if Havoc dies before me. He’s all I have left now. I don’t have any other family besides my dad and he’s on the other side of the country.”

Jasper was understandably very concerned. “So you’ve been by yourself this whole time? How old are you?”

Another sniff. “Sixteen.”

So a year younger than him, then. Still too young to be by himself.

“My name’s Call, by the way,” he said into the silence. “Callum Hunt. But most people call me Call.”

He nodded awkwardly. “Jasper DeWinter.”

Call’s eyes fell to the table, where the memory box was still open. He leaned forward and plucked the picture of Celia out, while Jasper cringed at the thought of him getting snot all over it.

“Who’s this?,” he asked curiously. “Girlfriend? Looks like it. She’s pretty. Good on you, dude.”

He said snippily, “You’re nosy.” And plucked the photo out of his grubby little fingers, placing it gently back in the box. “And she’s my ex. We ended things already.”

A sympathetic noise, but Jasper had a feeling it wasn’t genuine, since he suddenly looked intrigued. “I feel like there’s a story behind that. You break up with her or she break up with you?”

He paused. “She...broke up with me,” he admitted, morose.

Call quirked an eyebrow at him. “Well, you got two weeks to go, man. Are you gonna get her back?”

Jasper remembered Celia’s face the last time he saw her, the utter blankness in her expression as she told him, more or less, to get out of her life forever. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“Hm. That’s rough, buddy.” Call flopped back onto the sofa and his coffee sloshed dangerously in the cup. “So like...you got Netflix or what?”

Two hours later, Jasper had a strange boy sleeping on his couch.

An hour after that, he fell asleep as well.

June 2nd, 12 Days Before Impact

A hand was shaking his shoulder the next morning. He woke up to find silvery eyes staring down at him, bleary and exhausted.

“I’m hungry,” he announced, loud in the empty apartment. Jasper stared at him and questioned all of his life’s choices that would bring him to this point.

“There’s food in the fridge. Help your damn self,” he grumbled, then tried to roll over on the uncomfortable sofa, but Call shook his shoulder again.

“I don’t know how to cook,” came the dejected admission, and Jasper found himself making vegetarian pancakes at nine in the morning, 12 days before the apocalypse.

“I think it’s weird that we’ve lived so close to each other for so long, but we’ve never met,” Call said around a mouthful of pancakes. “I mean, if I’d have known a kid my age was living above me, I would’ve made it my mission in life to be friends.”

And I would’ve made it my mission in life to get as far away from you as possible, he thought vehemently as he watched the other boy chew with his mouth open in utter disgust.

He dropped Call off at his apartment not even a half-hour later. The younger boy looked perfectly sated and groggy from having such a hearty breakfast, and Jasper was glad, but he also never wanted to see this kid ever again.

“So what are you going to do with the rest of your life?,” Call asked, leaning against the doorway. The distant sound of barking from deep within the apartment grated on Jasper’s ears.

“I don’t know. Whatever.” He shrugged helplessly. “Maybe redecorate. Move around some chairs.”

“You are literally the most boring person I have ever met,” Call told him sincerely. They stared at each other for a good thirty seconds in complete silence. “Well, thanks for the food. Bye.”

He slammed the door in his face.

Of all the ungrateful-- Jasper sighed. Passed a hand over his face as he walked back up the stairs to his own apartment.

He spent the day just kind of...doing things. Rearranging the bookshelf, dusting off the antiques, washing the two plates in the sink, going on the computer and catching up on all the end of the world memes. At this point he was just going through the motions of a living person, without really living.

He went to the corner store around the block. Bought a Kids Cuisine. Tried to hand the cashier money before remembering that there wasn’t anyone manning the stores anymore. Debated on stealing it. Decided to put it back on the shelf.

Walking home, the streets had a different feel to them. Garbage and turned over shopping carts and car parts littered the roads. No cars were driving. People were running around yelling at each other and knocking things over. Someone was even attempting to break into a car with a crowbar in broad daylight, but no one did anything to stop it.

Not even Jasper. He just went home.

Later that night he found himself in front of the TV again, a cup of coffee and a bowl of pho that he’d made following his mother’s recipe. The atmosphere was strangely stagnant, like none of this was real. Like Jasper wasn’t real. He briefly wondered if he’d somehow already died, but he just didn’t know it, because his life had already been a living hell when he was alive-

A brick came sailing through the window and all sense of calm shattered.

He reacted appropriately, yelping and shooting to his feet in an instant. Screams and sirens and various explosions sounded from the streets below and when he ran to the window all he could see was chaos. Men with their faces covered in masks were setting things on fire, shooting at random, and throwing homemade bombs around like it was the freaking purge. One person in particular threw a molotov cocktail towards the parking garage and the entire thing went up like a candle. He could practically feel the heat from the explosion where he stood at the window, gaping.

“My car!,” Jasper screeched. The masked men looked up at his exclamation and he quickly darted back inside before they could start shooting at him or something. This was bad. He needed to get out of there, fast.

But Call, a voice hissed in his mind, and he skittered to an abrupt halt. What about Call?

Jasper was about 67% sure the other boy was fine, probably already in the next town over if he knew what was good for him, but the other 33% of him, convinced that Call was dead or dying in a pile of his own burning shit, made him jump out the window, run down the fire escape, and start banging like a maniac on the window below his apartment.

No one came to the window, besides a large and admittedly terrifying-looking dog (wolf?) thing with yellow eyes and razor sharp teeth.

“Hey! You! Dog!” He wasn’t sure if the thing could hear him through the wall, but he could try dammit. “Go get Call! Tell him that he needs to get out of here!”

The dog whined, but didn’t make an effort to move. Jasper cursed. He tried the window, and was surprised to see that it slid open without worry. The dumbass left it unlocked.

He quickly climbed in. Thankfully, the dog seemed to realize he was there to help and not murder his master, and didn’t maul him to death. Instead, it nudged his hand and started running, which Jasper took as a cue to follow.

He ran into the apartment, following the dog as it took him to another room deeper inside, frantically barking the entire time. He pushed open the door and there Call was, sprawled out on his bed, snoring and dead asleep in the midst of a deadly free-for-all.

Of course. Of fucking course.

“Are you serious-- get up!” He shook the younger boy violently, but the most he did was mumble in his sleep and turn over, burrowing deeper into the blankets.

There wasn’t enough time in the world for this. He slapped him hard across the face. “Get up you fucking useless idiot!”

Call shot up from the bed, hair mussed up from sleep, blinking blearily like a dumbass. “Whass goin’ on.”

The general noise from outside reached a new crescendo. Jasper grabbed Call by the arm and started dragging him out of the door. “We’re leaving. Now. Pack your shit and let’s go!”

That seemed to snap him out of it. While he ran around the apartment packing a bag full of whatever the hell, Jasper anxiously tapped his foot by the door. Outside, he could see the orange glow of a deadly inferno making its way down main street. Jasper hadn’t felt more terrified in his life.

Finally, Call seemed to have gotten all his shit together and met Jasper at the door. Before they could, leave, however, Call swiveled back around to face the apartment.

“Wait!,” he yelled. “Havoc! Here boy!” He whistled, and the giant wolf-dog came bounding out of the dark. Jasper didn’t waste any time getting to the stairs.

“Do you have a car?”

“Yeah. It’s parked outside.” He was breathing pretty hard and seemed to favor his left leg over his right. Jasper made a mental note to ask about that later.

They ran out into the brisk night. The streets were filled with rioters holding flaming torches and other various weapons like something straight out of a survivalist movie, but none of them seemed to have noticed them yet, thank God. Call scoured the area surrounding the apartment complex and then quickly exclaimed, “There!”

An old 1970’s groove machine was parked in front of the building. It was practically wedged in between two other cars and looked horrendously out of place with its chipped red paint job and rusted metal.

“That’s your car? It’s falling apart!”

“Yeah, well, not everyone’s a rich bitch like you, DeWinter.” He unlocked it. The lights flashed pathetically. “Get in!”

Jasper strapped himself in. Call fumbled his way into the driver’s seat.

“You have your license, right?,” he asked as the car lurched forward.

“Well...no. But don’t worry. I have a learner’s permit.” The van abruptly reversed into the car behind it and Jasper clutched the seat for dear life.

“That is not the same thing!”

“Well excuse me for not having enough time to pass my driver’s test before the world fucking ended!”

The van lurched again, this time ramming the car in front of them. Some of the anarchists noticed they were trying to escape and started running towards the car, torches raised.

“Oh my God, just let me do it!,” he hissed, attempting to grab the wheel, but Call bat his hands away.

“No! There’s no time!”

“You’re going to get us killed before the asteroid does- “

Havoc barked, interrupting their bickering. In the rearview mirror Jasper could see the masked men advancing. They were almost at the car.

Call hissed between his teeth. “Fuck--hold on!” Then turned the wheel, put the car in drive, and gassed it.

They clipped the backlight and the bumper off the car in front of them, but somehow managed to squeeze out and make it onto the street. Jasper let out a very manly squeal of terror as they tore down the road into the black abyss of night, no destination in mind and no idea where they were headed to.

I’ll post this on AO3 eventually but I have a feeling that if I try to make this a series before I update Crowning Chaos I might get actually murdered so.

#i had fun writing this one tho #its interesting writing from Depressed Jasper's pov #also call continues to be a gross crybaby bc he never cries in cannon #magisterium #the iron trial #the copper gauntlet #the bronze key #the silver mask #callum hunt #jasper dewinter #celiawhateverthefuckherlastnameis #winterhunt #what is jasper X celia called #jelia? #also fully recommend this movie its so good its on netflix

[smokescreen24]

50 DND Questions

1. What do you think your d&d race would be? Proabably human. If I get the choice, I’d like to be either an Elf or Dragonborn. I’d be cool with either of those. 

2. What class? Mostly likely a fighter? I’m not religious enough for a cleric, and not smart enough for a sorcerer or wizard. I like the idea of being able to throw hands. 

3. What two feats would you have? I’d want the Alert feat, and more than likely the Lucky feat. Alert means my initiative gets improved, and Lucky means that I can reroll a bad throw. Those would get used a lot. 

4. What has been your favorite d&d character you've played? (NPCs count for DMs) I’ve only got the two for now, but Liander’s been getting the most love. She’s probably my favorite. 

5. Which of your d&d characters has been the most like you? Oh, Liander, without a doubt. She’s pretty close to my baseline personality.

6. Which of your d&d characters has been the least like you? And that would be Cade. Cade is just this side of Chaotic Evil, so she’s a little harder for me to get into the right headspace for. Playing her takes a lot out of me, to be honest. 

7. How do you go about making a character or NPC? That’s hard to say - I give the session about an hour or so to feel it out, and let the personalities develop naturally over time. My playing style is reactive, so I let the situation dictate how said character would respond. 

8. What is the most memorable natural 20 you've ever experienced? That would be with Cade. I’d rolled to take out a stone giant, suplexed them (because she’s a barbarian and her strength stat is wild), then chopped his dick off with my battleaxe like I was swinging a golf club. It uh, made an impression on the rest of the party, and the rest of the enemies. 

9. Has one of your d&d characters ever died? How? Not yet, so don’t jinx me! I’m still attached to both of them, and would like to keep them around! 

10. What is your favorite class to play? So far, it’s been my ranger. She’s fun, and I’m digging the whole ‘animals as companions’ thing she’s got going. 

11. Have you ever fought a dragon? Yes. Between Cade and Paileous, we cut it’s head off. It’s currently a trophy back at home base. Got a lot of gold for our trouble, too. 

12. Have you ever fought a beholder? NO. Not entirely sure I wanna, either! 

13. Have you ever fought a mind flayer? No, but it’s coming up. My buddy is having us roll new characters for the Underdark campaign. I might try a cleric just for funsies. 

14. Have you ever had a romance with an NPC or another PC? Nope. I am here to tell you that neither of my characters is looking for any of that. Liander’s too busy, and Cade is a halfling barbarian surrounded by equally questionable Drow paladins and rouges. No thanks. 

15. Do you prefer to DM or play?  I have no desire to DM. I’ve only been playing for a little while, and I’m not creative enough to attempt it. I’ll stick to playing. I’m good at that. 

16. What is your favorite D&D pod/vodcast? I’ve been listening to Critical Role - I’m relistening to the Whitestone/Chroma Conclave arcs. I love No Mercy Percy so much. 

17. Who is your favorite "celebrity dm?" I only know the one - Matt Mercer. 

18. Do you use props/minis/terrain in your game? Very rarely. I think we’ve only had like, two sessions that actually had terrain and mini’s. 

19. How did you discover D&D? My friends. I sat in on one of their games, and just for the hell of it, they rolled me a character, and thus Cade was born. 

20. If you run a homebrew game, give an out of context spoiler. I’m not running it, but smuggling is a thing, and the dude we’re smuggling for is someone whose face is on a wanted poster in my pocket. 

21. Drop a picture of a mini you painted (if applicable) Sorry, I don’t have any minis. They’re all with my DM. 

22. Write a brief scene centered around one of your characters! Uh, hang on -  "That was nice. I didn't ask you to get it for me, and I distinctly remember telling you I can get my own. Not my fault you don't listen worth a damn." Liander says with a slight grin. She doesn't know why, but she likes poking at Chancel. Not many folks react the way he does, and the scowl he sends her just makes her grin wider. "Come on. I cannot possibly be the only one who's pointed that out to you." 

 "Yeah, me. Two minutes ago." Zulth mutters into his mug.

23. Do you have any art of your characters? Yeah, one of my more artistic friends drew a sketch of Liander for me, complete with her cat on her shoulder. It’s pretty cool. It’s also huge, which is why I’m not posting it here. 

24. Have you ever played any TTRPGs other than D&D? No, this is my first foray into TTRPGs. 

25. What is your favorite snack for d&d? I reach for Cheetos or Doritos usually. They’re good, crunchy snacks. 

26. If you could have one potion from d&d, which one would you choose? If I could just load up on superior healing potions for life, I’d be a happy woman. 

27. If you could cast one spell from d&d, which would you cast? Fireball. That’s a nice equalizer, I think. 

28. What is the most memorable natural 1 you've experienced? Oh man. That would be with Liander this time. She was trying to sneak into a well fortified part of the city, and tamper with the water supply for one family. Well, I had to roll to hop the fence to do so, rolled a natural one, my foot caught in the fence, and there was a dog right in front of me. Landed on my face, and got bitten for my trouble. Still got the mission done, though. 

29. Have you ever been drunk playing d&d? I’ve been buzzed. Does that count? 

30. Homebrew or prewritten? Both? Both. Both is good. 

31. Tell me about your current party! Which one? Well, for the Alagaesia campaign, there’s my character Liander, a dwarf named Thorin, a rouge(?) named Zulth, an herbalist named Liam, and the man who hired us, an NPC named Bjorn. We’re actually trying to accomplish something with this campaign, or so the DM says. 

For the Guardians of Gravenhollow campaign, I’m a halfling barbarian named Cade, there’s a drow Paladin named Varis, and another Drow rouge named Paileous. This particular campaign is just chaotic evil fuckery. 

32. Most memorable NPC you've encountered in a game you played in. Victor. He built a clock, I wanted his tinkering kit, and wound up buying both at a just criminally low price. I kinda feel like I ripped him off, tbh. 

33. Do you listen to music while playing? What kinds? Mostly the Skyrim soundtrack with a little Witcher soundtrack thrown in for funsies. Atmospheric stuff. 

34. Favorite accent to do for characters? I don’t really have one for either of my characters. Mostly because I’m bad at keeping it up. I forget. 

35. Favorite classic d&d trope Tragic Backstory(TM). Only one of my characters has it, but it’s damn fun to role-play.

36. What was your first d&d character you made? That would be Cade! She started out as kind of a throw-away, but she got mixed in with Paileous and Varis and she’s living her best chaotic life. 

37. What is the most recent PC or NPC you've created? That’d be Kahtri, actually! I haven’t played her a whole bunch, so I’m not really familiar with her yet, but it’ll be interesting to play a Drow cleric who doesn’t actually worship Lolth. (I don’t do spiders.)

38. Goblins or Kobolds? I actually haven’t dealt with either yet. I’m slightly more familiar with Goblins simply because of CritRole. 

39. Favorite villain you've defeated? Uh, I dunno if I’d classify her as a villian exactly, but Cade’s killed an NPC named Creed who was a servant to the god Grotz. Pretty sure he’s out for revenge now. 

40. What d&d deity would you be a cleric of? I am a cleric of the Drow deity Elistraee. (I had to double check the spelling on that) 

41. Give an out of context quote from one of your games! Liander - “I tried to stop him, but he fucking yote me across the room like I wasn’t even there. Is it weird I’m bitter about that?”

Thorin - *emerges from the wreckage of the crate we were smuggling holding dragon eggs* “I FOUND LIVING ROCKS!” 

Liander and Zulth in tandem - *knows exactly what he’s holding* “Oh for fuck’s sake!” 

42. Have you ever rolled turn into a potted plant on the wild magic table? No, I don’t think I know anyone who plays that particular class, so I’ve never seen it happen. 

43. Minis and terrain or theater of the mind? Theater of the mind, good sir/madam. 

44. Mulligan, Mercer, Murphy, or McElroy? Mercer! Mercer! Mercer! 

45. What is the longest session you've ever had? Oh, jeez. Like, fourteen hours, give or take?

46. What is the longest battle you've fought or run? Uh, that’d be the fight with Creed. It took us like two hours to beat her down with three of us. She was stupid powerful. The bounty was great, though. 

47. Have you ever played at level 20? No, my highest level character is a level 11. I’m working on it, though. 

48. Does your dm say "How do you want to do this?" Oh yes. The table just blows up when that happens, not gonna lie. It’s fun to hear, especially if it’s aimed at you. 

49. Have you ever played an edition other than 5th? No, I started playing last year, so 5th is all I know. 

50. Will you try to convince others to play? Already done so. I’ve added a couple people to the group - my husband, whose character is the best straight man to our fuckery, and one of our mutual friends whose lunacy works with our brand of crazy. 

#50 dnd questions #Liander Tristram #Cade Black #Kahtri Maelvat #my characters #ttrp ocs

[escailyyy]

Exasperating also starts with E

(Note: this is an Au where Eurus never killed VT and grew up as normal in the Holmes household as the baby of the family, she’s still a sociopath, so this happened…)

"Are you ever going to tell Molly Hooper that you love her?” Was the first thing Sherlock heard upon entering Baker Street after a long case, admittedly he should be used to his little sister showing up at his flat for no reason other than to annoy him, but honestly he thought it was Mycroft’s turn this month .

“And good evening to you too Eurus” Sherlock sighed turning around to find her sitting in his chair casually eating from a tub of (obviously expensive, imported specifically for high priority clients, delivered just two hours ago by a messenger with sweaty hands) Marchetti Gelato, she was wearing the Pajamas Mycroft had give her last Christmas and apparently seemed to have the ludicrous idea that he was back to his eight year old self who’d indulged her in as many pretend tea parties as she wished “I thought you said sleepovers were for goldfishes and amoeba brained females not worth associating with”

(Adult Eurus had never graduated from her ‘force my brothers to play tea party with me’ phase. And unlike Mycroft, who’d easily used his seniority to escape their little sister’s manipulative feminine machinations as soon as humanly possible, Sherlock never really had it in him to push her away)

“And he avoids my question, big surprise there, do have some Gelato, I even had this Ginger Nut flavor comissioned just for you” Eurus smiled extending the tub in his direction “you know that you are my favorite brother don’t you?”

“Yes I am aware, considering that the other option is Mycroft and I always win by default, although I apreciate the effort to sweeten what will undoubtedly be a conversation fraught with manipulation tactics and no I do not love Molly Hooper” Sherlock replied, putting away his bellstaff loosening his scarf and accepting the gelato “speaking of which how is your dear James?”

“Still hiding behind his lawyer in an effort to avoid me” Eurus sighed dramatically with a wave of her hand

“Well to be fair Moriarty isn’t an idiot, I think most men would prefer his high security prison in the middle east over facing your wrath after his failure to remember your aniversary” Sherlock didn’t have to make his disapproval of his sister’s choice of boyfriend known, after all it was the frequent topic of discussion among family dinners and the only subject Mycroft and he agreed on lately, but when it came to life sentences the Holmes brothers didn’t think that there was anything worse than being subjected to Eurus and the mercurial moods she hid under her sociopathic personality, so they both refrained from outright trying to get themselves rid of him.

“As James should” Eurus huffed “but he won’t be able to plead guilty forever if I make sure evidence of the contrary begins to accumulate around him” And considering the latest petty crime Moriarty had pleaded guilty for involved the assassination of a well known Middle East religious leader, Sherlock didn’t doubt his sister’s threat “are we done with your deflections Sherlock?, answer me already, when is that love confession taking place?”

“Very well Eurus, I’ll humor you” the 'else you’ll never let the subject drop’ was implied but thankfully not voiced, if one thing was true among the Holmes family was that Sherlock loved his like minded sister and rarely left an opportunity to talk to her go to waste “why do you think that I am as you so eloquently put it 'in love’ with Molly Hooper when you know I firmly believe that sentiment is a waste of time”

“Because you are, do you need me to make a PowerPoint presentation to illustrate it?” Eurus snorted, reminding Sherlock of their teenage years and her old perchance for whining about always being right “Anyone with high IQ can see it”

“So Papa has finally given you the grandchildren ultimatum huh?”

“No more than he gave it to Mycroft but that’s not the point”

“Youre his only daughter of course its the point, Papa wants grandbabies to spoil and you as the daddy’s girl that you are, do not want to dissapoint him, you wouldn’t be here trying to matchmake me otherwise” Sherlock shot back smugly “stop saying I’m in love with Molly”

“may I remind you that of all the people in this sentiment riddled universe Molly Hooper is the only one you’ve voluntarily apologized to?”

“It doesn’t prove anything” Sherlock dodged sitting in his armchair “I respect Molly, she’s my friend”

“You analyze her life choices and clothing preferences more than you do any other female in your acquaintance and that includes mummy, Mrs Hudson, Mary Watson and Me” Eurus listed off ticking her fingers “I don’t have much experience with actual friends but as the social manipulation expert in this family I can tell you that friends do not do that”

“I do NOT analyze Molly’s life choices, I deduce them and offer helpful advice, which according to John IS what friends do”

“Then why do you always hold your deductions whenever the topic of sex comes up around her?” Eurus challenged him with a smug smile as if to say 'go ahead, try to deduce yourself out of that question’ “it wouldn’t happen to be because your mind palace automatically supplies complimentary material would it? You used to say that intercourse was part of human nature”

Sherlock internally blanched, his sister really knew too much “because it has come to my attention that talking about someone else’s sexual habits and preferences in a social setting is potentially embarrassing for them”

“I see I’ll have to help you along, honestly your level of denial is quite impressive” If Eurus had been a little younger she’d have reached for fake glasses and written Sherlock’s name on a clipboard like she used to do when she’d mockingly declared she wanted to be a psychologist after her tenure in Sherrinford “why if its potentially embarrassing do you still do it to virtually anyone…exept Molly?”

“Because Molly is different, she’s not an idiot, she’s useful to me and good at her job”

“So you get no satisfaction out of making her feel like an idiot I understand, yet one could argue that Mycroft and I arent idiots either and you infer about our sexual lives often enough” Eurus pointed out taking a spoonful of gelato “why is molly different?”

“Because she is!” Sherlock grunted instantly regretting it by the knowing look his younger sister was giving him “what I mean to say is that, talking to her about the subject never feels correct to me, Molly isn’t …”

“Able to talk about sex like a normal adult? Why Sherlock she’s a healthy woman in her thirties who disects naked human bodies for a living, I would think she’s probably very open about it” Eurus ventured innocently “her past boyfriends seem like they were enjoying themselves at the very least”

“Would you please stop taking about Molly Hooper and sexual expertise in the same sentence!” The consulting detective finally snapped

“You ruin all her relationships”

“Its not my fault that she seems to attract men with criminal tendencies”

“Oh please, you announce to any who can hear the most inconsequential things, who cares if the paralegal with the bleach teeth was evading his taxes? His only crime was talking to your precious pathologist during her lunch break” why was it that Eurus always managed to sound fifteen whenever she tried to meddle in his life?, she was a genius in all parts of her life, but as a sister Eurus Holmes could really be a pain in Sherlock’s ass when she wanted to be"If you haven’t deduced it, I’ll have you know even James could tell that her relationships are your blind spot"

“Please don’t remind me about the famous 'Jim from IT’ considering that masquerading as Molly’s date isnt an ideal way of meeting my younger sister’s psychopath boyfriend ”

“ Life partner” Eurus corrected without missing a beat “James and I don’t use amaeba terms to classify our conection” then remembering something funny she added with a chuckle “The 'Molly factor’ blindsided your deductions so badly you even thought James was gay, as if someone like him would limit himself by the sexuality and gender of his partners”

“Nowdays I even doubt that he’s limited by their consent, species or lack of pulse” Sherlock rolled his eyes, glaring at his sister “But then again he’s saddled with you, so what should I expect? After all I’ve seen his bruises and heard the tortured screams”

“What can I say I like things rough and James is the only man I know who gives as good as he gets” Eurus shrugged and Sherlock had to remind himself that she wasn’t the type to worry about the gender, sexual orientation, lack of consent or inmorality of her sexual acts either “he has a certain je nes se quais that fits me so well”

“Spare me the details Eurus, there’s a reason I never frequent your Knightsbridge flat”

“Me thinks the gentleman doth protest too much, your Molly hasn’t been raised under a rock you know, why, if my airlines didn’t keep me so busy I’d think I might even grow to like her, I would wager my escapes with James wouldn’t shock her”

“Keep your evil machinations away from Molly Hooper sister mine” Sherlock warned narrowing his eyes “You already played you games with John and it almost cost him his marriage, if you so much as try the same on Molly so help me science I will make you regret it”

“Why would I want to make my future sister in law despise me?” Eurus laughed letting Sherlock see in her eyes a glint of the madness she kept firmly under lock and key in the confines of her own mind palace “you should really hasten that love confession Sherlock, you won’t be virile forever you know, after all we don’t know if all those drugs you’ve taken in the past have affected your fertility” she taunted in a sing song voice

“I’m perfectly fertile and perfectly virile! Molly would have nothing to complain about in that aspect” Sherlock exclaimed outraged realizing belatedly thst he’d falken for Eurus’ bait “I meant it in a purely hypothetical situation”

“ARGH I blame Mycroft for this! If he hadn’t put the 'emotions are evil’ mantra in your head you wouldn’t be acting like a preschooler pulling the pigtails of the girl he fancies” Eurus groaned putting her head in her hands “what have I done to deserve this?” The answer : probably a lot

“Funny, Mycroft blames you for crippling Victor’s legs in that blasted well and coloring my perception of human relationships with trauma”

“He locked me in SHERRINFORD for three years because of it, excuse me if I disregard his opinion on the state of your psyche”

Sherlock sighed, he supposed they all were self fulfilling prophecies, being the middle child in a family of geniuses had never been easy, specially because their whole sibling dynamic hinged on Sherlock’s hability to stay neutral in the feud between Eurus and Mycroft, who by all means hated each other during a good day

But Eurus liked Sherlock and Mycroft liked Sherlock so they made an effort to not attempt mutual murder if it kept them in their middle brother’s good graces.

“Sherlock you leave me no choice! If you don’t get your head out of your rectal cavity where Molly Hooper is concerned and tell her that you love her I’ll have to force the issue with Mycroft” Eurus outlined in no uncertain terms, eyes flashing the way they only did when she played violin “and believe me I won’t be as nice to him as I’m to you”

“It would take a battering ram to knock down Mycroft long enough to give papa grandchildren and we both know it” Sherlock exclaimed, then narrowing his eyes the posibility that Eurus was in fact unhinged enough to put her brain to the task of breaking Mycroft “you wouldn’t, even YOU have to draw a line somewhere”

“Andrea has been working with him for how long? Since high school if I’m not mistaken, I happen to know a philanthropic a armament mogul that is looking for a public relations manager and well…How bored must Andrea be in that silly little desk, chained to our brother, doing paperwork all day, a woman of her capabilities deserves more and Mycroft doesnt let her do an ounce of fieldwork, if I happened to offer the position to her, adding the fact that our mogul has the highest number of assassination attempts in any bounty hunter’s book, she’d accept right away, if only to get to use her fancy guns” Eurus began innocently as tough outlining her lunch break plans

Deducing exactly who she was referring to Sherlock groaned “Nikolai Udinov? You would send Andrea to manage the life of that reprobate? Mycroft would never allow it”

“Well what do you expect? If Andrea leaves her job and him for good I calculate that it will take Mycroft less than two months to crack, she does his laundry, paperwork, calls, orders him his cakes, decorates his bunkers, manages his agents with an iron fist, Andrea practically breathes for him and Mycroft needs the wake up call” Eurus smiled with a hint of malice “so many agents have fallen in Udinov’s maze of secrets…It would be a pity if Mycroft’s greek flower was next”

“That’s because Nikolai Udinov is the type of assignment that goverment agents train for years to take on, the bullseye in his back is larger than Mycroft’s ego ” Sherlock snapped wondering again why he hadnt trottled his sister yet “you’d be manipulating Andrea into strong arming Godfather Death”

“Correction Mycroft will THINK she’s taking on Godfather Death” Eurus snapped rolling her eyes “She’ll be fine, I wasn’t lying when I said Agent Anthea is quite competent and she’s been wanting to do fieldwork since her thirtieth birthday, my people will make sure she doesn’t get killed”

Sherlock didn’t even want to ask about who 'her people’ were, like he did with Mycroft and they did with him, the less the Holmes siblings knew about eachother’s ocassional dabblings in the wrong side of the law the better “You’ll just have Mycroft believe she is, but why?”

Eurus huffed tempted to just repeat Sherlock’s famous 'you see but you don’t observe’ dribble that he always spewed to John Watson “Because it will kill Mycroft to lose Andrea and I’ll enjoy seeing him suffer” Eurus shrugged “think about it Sherlock, Andrea has been a fixture in Mycroft’s life since your uni days, the only time you and I see him without her is on social situations and even then she’s always one text away from him, he trusts her with all of his sensitive information”

“You assume that he cares about her” Sherlock snorted mystified “Mycroft doesnt do sentiment Eurus, not even for Andrea”

“Oh how blind my brothers can be when they wish to” Eurus laughed taking out a bag of chips from her purse and biting a couple “I don’t assume, I KNOW, just as I know that you love Molly, the difference is that Andrea is more likely to wait to have children, but as I said I’ll force the issue if I have to”

“If Agent Anthea dies because you wanted to get out of giving our parents grandchildren then forget about Sherrinford, he’ll hire a submarine and drop you in the Atlantic with a crew of deaf personell”

“You could also tell your morgue mouse that you love her, then I wont have to threaten Mycroft’s potted plant”

Eurus like always, had a better grasp of the ins and outs of sentiment than her two elder brothers, a fact both Sherlock and Mycroft often resented, because while Sherlock fought his battles with logic and Mycroft with dry politics, Eurus manipulated people using their emotions against them. She’d rarely used her 'gift’ on Sherlock preferring to keep herself occupied with her chain of airlines and her side work as a data analyst (when she wasn’t dabbling in her illegal hobbies) apparently tough she was doing it now.

Sherlock didn’t find it amusing.

“I suppose I should be grateful that you have not threatened to kill Molly yet and instead chose to talk to me about it in a rational way, isn’t that what your point is?”

“Yes! And I feel deeply offended that you don’t appreciate the gesture, I could have bulldozed trough your childhood traumas just to make you see sense” Eurus huffed clearly not happy by Sherlock’s lack of gratitude “I don’t see why you wont just admit the truth”

“You’re seeing things where they don’t exist, don’t you think that if zi loved Molly I would know?”

“NO! BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND SENTIMENT” she shot back with an angry glare, then Eurus sighed and did the one thing that always brought Sherlock to his knees, she opened her big dark eyes and gave him a very sincere part of her vulnerability “Sherlock” she began, her tone belying how much she wasn’t trying to manipulate him this time “you’ve been there for me trought all the hard things in my life, you who have supported me even in things we both know you knew better than to support…Is it really such a surprise to know that I want to see you happy?”

“as my little sister, wanting to see me happy comes with the territory” Sherlock replied putting the desert down and returning her sincerety “the truth is that I don’t see a future where I can keep Molly safe, I have too many enemies…she deserves better than me, she always has”

“And yet she loves you, all of you, far strongly than you deserve”

“Foolish woman that she is” Sherlock chuckled “I can’t love her Eurus, I’d be placing a red mark in her forehead if I did”

“Sherlock, there’s always going to be Blackwoods, Magnussens and Black Lotus organisations in this world, in fact there’s drunk drivers and bad weather and unhealthy eating habits all who cause death on daily basis, but for you there’s only one Molly” Eurus tried reasoning softly “ its hard enough for people like us to form lasting human connections, I’ve come to learn it takes years of persistence to completely bond with someone else and the fact that you are capable of it is something I’ve always admired far beyond Mycroft’s Iceman facade”

“Speaking from experience?” He raised an eyebrow taking care not to break the fragile bubble of vulnerability they’d reached

“Its always nice to know that there’s always someone out there who will care about you beyond the trappings of your psyche” Eurus agreed cryptically, giving Sherlock a tiny insight into the twisted reason why his sister hadn’t allowed Moriarty to blow his brains off after Sherlock’s fall “isn’t that how Molly makes you feel? I admit she’s no Nocturne like Irene Adler in looks or sexual appeal but I don’t believe I could be wrong in what I see when you look at her while her back is turned”

“Don’t put Molly in the same category as the woman…Irene is a capriccio, an Intermezzo with too many Staccato harmonies and not enough tenerezza, more Opera than Nocturne she’s filled with high octaves and acciaccaturas, Molly is her own sonata”

“Now that is quite surprising” It had never occurred to Eurus that Sherlock might have a melody for Molly, mainly because if he did he’d want Eurus to hear it at least once, given her brother and her shared a love for violin that often lent itself to describing people in musical terms according to how they saw the world but honestly Eurus expected Sherlock to classify Molly as a chloral “how does Molly sound?”

“Molly is shades of Adagios, Dolce notes and intermitent Allegros, that rise and fall without damaging the integrity of the composition, any more notes and she could have been a ballet or a solft waltz” Sherlock sounded so sure, humming a few bars to let her understand the gist of his thoughts, always far more comfortable expressing sentiment trough music than in words

“I wonder why you have never played her for an audience” Eurus genius that she was didn’t need to see him play to hear the notes in her head, the soft tone of the violin and the spikes of the Sonata’s hidden edges “she sounds like comming home” was all Eurus could say after the song finished playing in her mental fortress “your very own masterpiece”

“Her melody isn’t for public to hear” Sherlock replied ruminanting in his sister’s words, because she had put into words the elusive title that he’d never given to the Sonata that belonged to Molly Hooper 'comming home’ was an apt name for the piece and if he was honest with himself he had to admit it had been that way for a long time, Molly herself was the kind of person who’s existence validated the part of Sherlock who needed a place to run to when things got difficult “she makes me feel accepted, when it comes to Molly I always know that whatever I do, or wherever I go, I will always have a place to call home in her life, the Sonata always changes in degrees of subtleties” hadn’t that been the reason he’d felt so hurt by her (failed) engagement to Meat dagger? Because he’d assumed she would always be there… and on the heels of that thought the realization struck “Because I love her”

Eurus could have clapped her hands in joy at the breaktrough of her brother, and to think it hadn’t taken any death threats, really Sherlock was so much better to reason with than Mycroft “then why do you keep wasting so much time?” She asked still trying to be understanding

“You don’t understand Eurus, I LOVE HER” Sherlock exclaimed in shock and Eurus could see the beginning of what looked like a very Holmes panic attack “And I’ve hurt her in the past so badly…and you KNEW” he was referring of course to the fact that Eurus hadn’t told him what she suspected since day one

“In all honesty I thought that you would have noticed your attraction to your pathologist since the moment you began your game of 'flirting for organs’ I didn’t expect the situation to last this long” Eurus admitted sheepishly reminding Sherlock of the way she used to intentionally assume that he’d clean his bedroom when he had a nasty experiment rotting in his desk, conveniently not reminding him to throw it away “its not my fault, its yours” So maybe his mind palace was undergoing a major rearrangement, Eurus could work with that..hopefully

“What do I do now?” Sherlock groaned putting his head in his hands “I love her”

“You do whatever mummy would do I suppose, she’s the one who is good at handling non-sociopaths” Eurus tried to help along “maybe you should confer with Dr Watson, I fear my continued advice in that subject would nderimental to your latest breaktrough” Aka: Eurus would not give Sherlock romantic life hacks, she simply wasn’t willing to.

“Mummy…would make lunch, maybe a pot of her favourite tea” Sherlock agreed pensively “and ease Molly slowly into the situation”

“Not too slowly, I want my first nephew to be born preferably within the next year or so” Eurus asserted as tough she were giving Sherlock her takeaway order “you will make mostly male children given both of your genetic profiles but I’d still like at least one of them to be named after me if possible”

“Have you ever thought that Molly might not want children? If anything she hasn’t agreed to even date me yet, let alone get engaged or conceive with me…”

“Tiny crime solving pathologists?” Eurus supplied when he couldn’t bring himself to say the word children “Sherlock a basic deduction of Molly’s life would point towards a desire for a nuclear family, more to the point she’d want it and she’d want it with you, the only sibling in our circle liable to be successful in raising another generation of Holmes geniuses” considering Mycroft and Eurus would most likely cause their offspring some degree of psychological issues with their parenting techniques, it didn’t sound so much like a compliment

Aaaand there went their bonding moment, Eurus was back to her manipulative self “Maybe you should leave” Sherlock muttered comming in and out of buffering mode “as much as I enjoy our interludes, I don’t think I’m fit for company or will be for the next few hours”

“Maybe I should, my work here is done” Eurus agreed rising from her seat and dusting her Pajamas “I expect that a sleepover wouldn’t be any fun anyway, not with the way your thoughts are shouting”

Noticing the changes in the tone of her voice Sherlock briefly paused his panic attack to regard his sister with a suspicious stare “Stay away from my pathologist Eurus, I mean it”

“I will, but be a smart boy and keep an eye on her, I heard your old friend Victor is back in town” Eurus attempted to joke “Maybe you should move her here for a few days, you know, for security reasons” And with that parting shot his sister breezed out of Baker Street leaving a very stressed Sherlock no choice but to phone Molly

“Gasp and Bloody Works what can I do for you?” Molly’s cheerful voice answered her mobile, Sherlock could hear the sound of a bone saw in the distance and deduced he’d caught her in the middle of an autopsy

A million thoughts raced trough his head but he settled for a mundane response, no need to alarm her “Bad time for a call?”

“Oh it’s you Sherlock, sorry I didn’t see the caller ID, funny you should phone I just got the most interesting body with a unidentified brain aneurysm, I thought you might find it interesting so no its not a bad time at all” she always sounded in good mood whenever he called, give or take a few exemptions, Molly always tried her best to be positive about everything including his cases.

“Really? A brain you say” Sherlock perked up before remembering the subject at hand “actually I was calling to ask for a favor, but the brain aneurysm sounds quaint, please save it for future study”

'smooth Sherlock real smooth’ mind palace john muttered

'Not now Watson’

Molly who knew him well enough to know that if he wanted to ask for something big he’d do it in person and not by phone had no qualms in replying “what kind of favor? Sherlock is this for a case?, you know that as long as its within my power I will help you”

“No its not for a case, this is more of a personal favor, I need to stay in your flat for an undefined amount of time” there he said it now all he had to do was get Molly to agree, because while this wasn’t the first time he’d used her place as a bolthole it was the one time he’d do it for sentiment’s sake and consent was important.

“Wait, why? Are you okay” the bone saw was turned off and Sherlock could hear the unecessary concern in the voice of the woman he’d just realised he loved.

“yes I’m fine, but I have reasons to believe that my privacy in Baker Street has been compromised” and he needed to make sure Molly’s hadn’t been. Lest Eurus perchance for giving people a push in the right direction landed Molly in the bottom of a well.

“By who?”

Sherlock gave a long suffering sigh and answered “by my sister”

An: I’ve thought up Eurus as a dark version of Georgiana to Sherlock’s Mr Darcy hope she wasn’t to occ, this fic is for all my Sherllolian folks on tumblr, who are just awesome

#sherlolly #euriarty #mythea #eurus holmes #sherlock x molly #moriarty x eurus #mycroft x anthea #i wrote a thing #eurus was fun to write #little meddling sisters #the stunt she pulled in tfp with molly #was typical younger sibling behaviour #dysfunctional holmes siblings #molly hooper