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drifting-mindspace · 4 years

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Things we deserved to get from the Naruto manga and anime that we never got -

• JONIN NARUTO -

We followed him around as the lovable Genin knucklehead. Now it goes without saying that him being a Jonin is just a rank and honestly doesnt mean much. Rescuing Gaara, going after Kakuzo, Mount Miyaboku were all A & S-rank missions.

But I would liked to have seen him doing missions post war in a slightly more mature yet typically knuckleheaded manner instead of the passing phrase he made tonShikamaru about being too busy doing missions for the next 6 months.

We grew up with Naruto and now that he's older and stronger we dont get to see him in action.

• A Happily Married Kakashi & Shizune-

Hatake Kakashi has led a deeply traumatic life. His mother died when he was very young, his father committed suicide when he was 6 causing him to distance himself from everyone around him. The first person he opened up to and formed a bond with died moments later protecting him, the girl he deeply cared for and probably harbored feelings for which he was too afraid to confront died at his hands as he desperately tried to protect her, a year later his sensei died protecting the village. When he became a sensei to Team 7 he felt he was on a path to finding inner peace by ensuring these children avoid his traumas but his prized pupil went rogue shattering that hope. After all this I’d hoped he would’ve finally found a happy ending.

Why Shizune? Well I considered him and Kurenai getting together and him helping raise Mirai but Shizune has always felt like the only Kunoichi in Konoha who has her shit together. She is perfectly at peace with where she is in life. She is incredibly mature and level headed as she helps run the village with Tsunade. Someone who is at peace with herself and her aspirations is the perfect anchor for a man with a whirpool of trauma brewing in him.

Alas it seems like the showrunners have no intention of a romantic arc for Kakashi and the Hatake name will die with Kakashi.

• The Uzumaki Clan

Within a span of 3 months Naruto meets 3 Uzumaki clan members. Nagato, Karin and his own mother. While speaking with Kushina he finds out about the dark fate of the Uzumaki clan. How they were blessed with unimaginably high chakra reserves and were gifted in Sealing Jutsus, longevity and how it led to them being targeted by those who feared them leading to their village being wiped out and scattered across the shinobi world.

Instead of turning the Naruto saga into the Uchiha Chronicles Id have preferred a deep dive into the Uzumaki clan. Maybe even have a Sasuke-like venegeful figure who wants Konoha to suffer because they failed to provide aid to the village they called their strong allies in their greatest hour of need.

Like Sasuke this villain would’ve witnessed his fellow clansmen cut down, unlike Sasuke however he wouldn’t have had the likes of Naruto, Itachi or Kakashi to anchor him in the light leaving room for redemption.

This could have been the one villain that was so far gone in his pain and hatred that no amount of 'talk no jutsu' could have changed his mind and would've pushed Naruto to the very brink until he finally had to choose between killing his clansman or protecting his village.

Naruto would make the ultimate sacrifice for Konoha and this would all the more set his resolve to pulling Sasuke back from the darkness or dying with him.

An Uzumaki villain gifted in Fuijutsu and the use of the Uzumaki Kekkei Genkai, the Adamantine Chains along with massive chakra reserves would be the perfect power scaled villain for Post Pain Arc Naruto.

Instead we got Uchiha chronicles where everyone did whatever the fuck they thought of doing and chakra limits were all but history. This one really disappointed me. Which brings me to my next disappointment.

• Naruto Killing a Villain

Now I know it seems like an odd hang up. Naruto? Kill? But he is so fixated on redemption. That is exactly why I wanted this to happen. The series has gone out of its way to make sure Naruto hasn’t killed a character. The worst of it was against Kakuzu. The kind of attack unleashed upon Kakuzu SHOULD by all means have killed him. Yet somehow he was left in a ‘dying state’ and Kakashi was the one who did the deed.

Naruto being forced to kill a villain as a last resort and making a choice between saving someone dear to him or tainting his hands with blood was the ultimate moral conundrum for a shinobi whose biggest goal was rescuing his best friend from the dark. It would take him back to Itachi’s words where he asked Naruto what he would if Sasuke decided to destroy the village.

Instead we saw Rasen Shuriken and Rasengan getting scaled down to a point where they always injure and opponent but not kill him. For an S-rank jutsu, Rasen Shuriken happens to be quite lenient.

• Neji beoming the head of the Hyuuga Clan

This pisses me off the most. Neji was supposed to be to the Hyuuga was Naruto was to Konoha. I always expected Neji to overcome all the obstacles and get recognized by Hiashin who would then redeem himself and disband the branch system once and for all. Hiashin as a character was never redeemed. Here was a man who let his brother get executed to avoid punishment (albeit he was against it but it did happen), constantly abused his kind daughter and belittled her for being too soft and put her down to a point her personality was underdeveloped and she had deep seethed confidence issues.

Disbanding the branch system and making Neji the leader would redeem him in the eyes of the readers/ viewers and would clean up the Hyuuga clan.

Instead Neji was scrapped aside to give Naruto and Hinata a bonding moment. They had a bonding moment, it was when she almost died saving his life. Neji didn’t have to die for them to get together ffs. What a wasted potential.

• NaruSaku

Now I’m not a fanatic shipper. In fact when I read and watched the original series I absolutely HATED Sakura. My hatred for her reached it’s peak during the Zabuza arc when Naruto ran at the S-rank villain, got kicked away and got up to show he went in for his forehead protector. “What do you think you’re doing Naruto? Even Sasuke-kun wasn’t a match for him.” I just wanted Naruto to turn around and tell her to stfu in that moment. As the series approached the time skip I was well and truly content with NaruHina.

But Shippuden changed things. The hints towards Sakura’s changed feelings were sprinkled all over the series. One moment that stands out for me was the Clone Training arc where Sai tests her by abusing Naruto and she goes on a rage rant about how great he is. Let’s not forget that in her darkest hour, as she saw a ruined and destroyed village the only person she thought of and cried out to was Naruto. Not because she felt he could save the village (she was as shocked as Shikamaru as she found out he was facing pain alone) but because when things when bad for her the only person who she felt comfort around was indeed Naruto and that is indisputable.

She goes as far as ruining her friendship with Naruto, a bond she truly cherished as it was all she had left after Sasuke abandoned the village, and confessed her feelings to manipulate him. Yes manipulative, scheming and downright a bitch of a thing to do. But it was all she could think of to make Naruto stop chasing after Sasuke. She, more than anyone wanted to see Naruto become a Hokage and realize his dreams and dying while rescuing Sasuke was a risk she couldn’t take and she decided she’d have him hate her than die. Wrong yes. But oddly noble.

This combined with all the blatant attempts to establish her being like Kushina and Kushina saying she wants Naruto to find someone like her changed my mind from NaruHina. I still adore Hinata. She is a wonderful character. But organic plot progression is far more important to me than my ships being canon.

A Naruto-Sakura family would’ve been incredibly entertaining and the dynamics would be perfect. We’d see a Minato-Kushina couple on screen for the next series. Which brings me to my next disappointment.

•HinaShino

I don’t know if that’s the official name for the pairing but I always felt these 2 would make a great couple.They are both people of a few words and are both incredibly intuitive and understanding individuals. Shino would accept Hinata for who she was and vice versa. Being with someone who was happy with the person they were would go miles in helping them come out of their shells.

Altho this isn’t a massive disappointment for me. I’m happy that Hinata ended up with Naruto. But like I said organic plot progression matters to me and if Naruto ended up with Sakura I’d prefer Hinata to end up with Shino.

•Hiraishin No Jutsu

Sadly as the series progressed Naruto had become so OP that not letting him master his father’s improved version of Tobirama’s jutsu was a great decision. It would’ve just made him senselessly OP.

However instead of giving him all those God Tier power ups which he just gains in single training sessions I’d have preferred him working hard to master the Hirashin. Instead of sending him off to an island and treating him like a fucking idiot and asking him to survey animals I’d have preferred if Tsunade gave him an impossible task.

“You can’t fight in the battle. But I will only allow it if you can master your father’s jutsu.”

It was a period of 6 months between Danzo’s death and the start of the shinobi war. Ample time to show him training hard to learn a jutsu that for once required him to study. Hiraishin deals not just in physical acts of speed but also mastering seals. Seeing his friends go off to fight in the war as he was left behind would have only added to his frustration and motivated him more.

Showing Naruto training hard like they showed him training for Rasen Shuriken would’ve only made us cheer all the more harder when he’d make a badass entry on the battle field as Tobi came close to killing Kakashi and a three pronged Kunai swished between the two, an orange flash appeared and Naruto kicked Tobi away.

Sadly this was swapped for Pokemon evolutions where arc after arc Naruto levels up just like that. The show’s entire premise was based on hard work and guts.

Sasuke was the genius who gained his power through natural ability. Sure he trained hard but his strength came to him with ease. Naruto had to slog. He manged to make the Rasengan after nearly 15 episodes of training and even then he had to get stabbed to be able to use it. It wasn’t until another 10 episodes that he properly used it. His training for the Rasenshuriken took an entire season to yield results and even then he didn’t learn to throw it until he trained for another 3 seasons till the Pain arc.

Post pain all this is tossed aside. He sits at the waterfall twice and beats the darkness. He sits in the room once and tames Kurama. Later Kakashi and Guy are in trouble, he has an inner dialogue with Kurama and suddenly he mastered the two man team with no prior training. Rikkodu Sennin touches him once and suddenly he’s learnt how to grow eyes, stop death and fly just like that.

The series stopped being the Naruto series we grew up with post Danzo and it saddens me.

• Naruto Sensei -

And finally my last and greatest disappointment of all. Not seeing Naruto as a sensei. We’ve seen glimpses of his nurturing side in his interactions with Konohamaru but I’d have loved to have seen 40-50 episodes of him leading his own squad of genins. A perfect combination of Kakashi and Guy as he’d wow them with his brilliance and equally embarrass them in day to day interactions with his goofy tomfoolery. His genins would be in awe of him. Naruto Sensei - the hero of the war.

His students could have an arrogant son/daughter of a feudal lord who insisted he be trained by the war hero, Naruto and Kakashi had to cave in for diplomatic reasons. Naruto refuses to take anyone who doesn’t work hard to get where they are but after the bell test sees potential in the child. A child with no ninja background. His parents were farmers outside of Konoha who were very poor. His sole aim is to be a ninja so strong that he’s always assigned big missions that will help him ease his family’s financial burdens. A genin from the Inuzuka clan (or any other clan, maybe even Hanabi if the show wanted to push more Naruto-Hinata interactions) who thinks he’s better than the other 2 because of his family background but is taught humility by Naruto.

Sadly another development in Naruto’s life we were denied.

Well that’s my rant essay. I know a lot of people won’t agree with what I had to say but I wanted to get it off my best anyway. Why?

Because I wanted to dattebayo!

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unpopularfact · 5 years

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TransTRENDERS

I am completely fed up by this point. So I am going to lay this down hard and cold. I will not hold back.

I don’t hate many people, I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge. This doesn’t mean that I can’t find people unbarably irritating. It doesn’t mean that there are people in this world that don’t cause me internal anguish. The people that cause me more distress than any other type of human beings are goddamned transtrenders.

What is a transtrender?

It is someone who says that they are transgender as a fashion statement. They don’t think they’re trending but they’re easy to spot. They usually ask for a they/he or they/she pronoun picks (or maybe even made up bullshit). They also feel like gender is a social construct, and feel like we shouldn’t have gender because it is just some kind of government controlling scheme or perhaps damaging to society. Because of this, they tend to not dress as the selected gender- because fuck normative thinking. Their last symptom is that they believe that you don’t need to have dysphoria to be transgender.

Let me rephrase that, using the medical terms regarding gender reassignment desires.

They believe that you do not have to have dysphoria to suffer from gender dysphoria.

—————————-

I can hear them grinding their teeth already. If you feel like you might be called out by the above paragraph, sweethart, you’re a transtrender. I’m calling you out on your bullshit today.

I suffer from gender dysphoria. I am not about to tell you all my symptoms because it would be like handing you the blueprints to something and risking you calling them your own. I’m not telling you these facts because I think less of you, or want to belittle you. You should feel happy that you aren’t suffering with an illness! Celebrate. REJOYCE.

I’m going to lay down some ground rules here, and the first one is going to be a very clear point.

-it IS okay to explore your comfort zones with your body may it be your gender, appearance or otherwise.

-it IS okay to go ‘back’ on your gender decision. Have you learned that you might actually be happy with yourself? THATS OK.

-it IS okay to wear whatever you want regardless of the ‘clothes’ assigned gender.

With all that said, let’s continue.

I see it way too much lately. Someone presenting, living as female with a gender neutral name, going out dressed effeminatly doing feminine things, born female.... telling everyone they’re a man.

You have no goddamn idea what dysphoria is, do you???

Do you know how it fucking feels to have these features highlighted and put on display?

Do you actually think that because you feel comfortable in a mans shirt- that you can sometimes occasionally do masculine makeup and think it would be better if you were a man, so that it’s easier to cosplay guys—- do you actually think that classes you as transgender????

You’re fucking wrong.

That’s not being transgender. You just lack the creativity to find methods of changing your appearance without desiring some kind of cheat sheet.

Especially if you cosplay girls

“It’s CROSSDRESSING”

I think you miss the goddamn point here. That just proves that you aren’t transgender.

Not because you’re cosplaying your bio gender- oh no. It’s because you’re clearly comfortable presenting that body shape. You clearly have no issues with stereotypically effeminate things being emphasised on show for all to see-

“Guess I’ll stop cosplaying girls then” was that your thought just now? Adjusting your habits to try and force the symptom?

Maybe you’re thinking

“Genders a social construct!”

No, it’s not. Gender- your biological sex is a fact.

The way people dress, walk, talk and act- these a stereotypes BASED on gender.

Stereotypes are grown and based on facts that take to the majority of a group of individuals who all have a trait (out of their control) in common.

I.e race or gender.

Just two examples there.

When you- by biological fella, wear girls hot pants because they hug your ass sweetly- you’re breaking stereotype.

You know heels were made for men, right? A break in stereotype means women now typically wear heels- but some men do too- does this make them transgender? It does not. Do you think these guys would rather identify as female? Absolutely not.

Does it mean a biological girl who identifies as a man should have the right to wear heels? Oh theybhave a right. Absolutely. What kind of heels? Pink fluffy stilettos? Okay but just so you know, you’re going to be swaying that booty, walking like a queen. If you’re comfortable with those parts of your body being enhanced then you’re not suffering with body dysphoria.

That’s what dysphoria is. These body parts are so alien to you, like every morning you wake up in someone else’s body. Every single day what you feel like you look like and what you see don’t align. Somethings wrong, this shirt doesn’t fit me like it fits the other girls. I’ve tried all shapes sizes and body types yet when I look all I feel is sick. I look like a man in drag- maybe I am a man in drag.

Want to get your tits out? I’m happy for you. I’m happy you can stand the public staring at them. Thinking about how weird you look- I’m glad you can stand the thought of people believing you’ve got something wrong with you- or don’t you have those thoughts...?

Because if you really don’t find the issue of showing your feminine exclusive parts as much as possible a difficult task, then I fail to see the utter detachment and abandonment of the idea that certain appendeges existed.

————-

On the topic of tits.

Binding.

Oh my god. This is a fucking laugh. I was binding even before I came out to anyone as Male. I’ve been binding for a very long time. That doesn’t mean I didn’t flash the boobs, but tucking them away ended up being so much better. I tried to get them out and I tried to be pretty and flaunt the amazing tits I have.

But still I looked in the mirror and felt like... I was wearing someone else’s shirt or something. Like I was wearing shoes that didn’t belong to me.

Hiding them was better.

I love boobs. My girlfriend has an amazing body- I desire to touch it and hold it. But I feel so off of i were to picture myself in her body.

I don’t think it would fix anything, looking as beautiful as her.

But I digress- boobs, binding. A transtrenders obsession and need to remind people how long they’ve been binding. Like it’s some extreme danger, an extreme health risk.

“I have been binding for like 20 hours man”

Some kind of desire to get someone to tell you to take it off? What is it? I don’t get that.

Fuck, I don’t want people to know I have a binder on.

I hate the thing!!!! Get it off me- I can’t stand the sight of me. Let me wear it again.

This binders like a bad drug and I don’t want people to hear it. No please don’t tell me to take it off, please.

My girlfriend said I needed to wash it- I cried,

Wtf

That means going without it!!

I’m asthmatic, too. Restriction on the chest are bad right? Not if you’re wearing the right size. If you’re not breathing right, the binder you wearnis too tight, get a new one- it’s not that fucking complicated.

I don’t care how long you’ve been wearing it, this is not a competition. If you shouldn’t be wearing it take it the fuck off and shut up.

“I binded today. It felt good uwu”

Fuck off. Binding feels aweful. I hate this crutch.

—————-

I am very tired right now. So I’m Going to stop. I might make a part 2. I’m basically sick of seeing girls post this cute boi soft aesthetic like its some pretty bracelet, yet still finding so much comfort in their shells- and I’m sat here feeling pathetic and unable to do so. Not even in the slightest.

#transgender #transtrender #millenial #trans #pronouns #dysphoria #dysmorphoa #liars

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pinupgirl24 · 6 years

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RED FLAGS OF HIDDEN ABUSE

I’m in the healing process now and I wrote this for myself as well as to help anyone else who may have a toxic person in their life. Also to help you see the signs of a toxic person right away. And if you do….. RUN!!

There were certain signs along the way. I had my blinders on and I often question myself…. How did this happen to me? Why did I allow someone to control and destroy me? Am I weak? I needed to journal this, because I had been blaming myself.... I also didn’t recognize this as abuse right away. It was done in a very repetitive, insidious and so sneakily. With gaslighting, passive aggressiveness, sarcastic jokes and then flattery & sometimes small glimmers of that “love” like in the beginning of the relationship. But, those little glimmers were once again only for him to get what he wanted. I just kept slowly diminishing. My self worth was gone, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I was having panic attacks, suicidal thoughts. I stopped participating in all of the things that I had once loved. I couldn’t look people in the eye. I began to self medicate. With my use… It once again gave him more power. In fact when he started to see that I was getting real about sobriety. He would try to sabotage that. It’s all so mind blowing.

I believe I stayed in this chaotic relationship for as long as I did, because I was always continuing searching for that man he was in the beginning, when he got me to fall in love with him. He got me to indulge my deepest secrets, I got extremely vulnerable with him. He asked all the right questions and he listened. It’s devastating to know now why he asked and why he listened, but in that beautifully painted honeymoon stage. It felt so good. In the final stage of the relationship he even went as far as using everything I had ever shared with him against me. However, every now and again... He would give me bread crumbs the man that wasn’t real and I would cling on for dear life. But this dream man, is not him. It will never be him. He can only be him for so long. I swear to you, he could win an Oscar. There were these incredible highs and lows. Almost in itself a drug. When I went to California it absolutely felt as if I was detoxing from hard drugs.

I’m gonna share some of the red flags I noticed now once the fog has cleared.

♦️RED FLAG 1: I felt on edge with this person, but I wanted him to still like me so bad. He went from this extreme high of being my “soulmate”, to very intentionally cold and distant towards me. I felt as if I was walking on egg shells all the time. That was a red flag. Ignoring certain questionable behaviors. Like, “oh that had to have been accidental, he can’t really be that insensitive?” Pay attention to these little things. If you have a feeling. Trust your intuition and if it’s too good to be true. Well you know 🤷🏻‍♀️

♦️RED FLAG 2: This one hurt me bad! He would withhold attention from me and undermine my self esteem. The beginning hooking up, the nonstop flattery and praise. Then suddenly he became uninterested in you and reclusive. Like I was just such a bore now. He made me feel needy and desperate. He would never initiate physical or intimate contact with me anymore. I remember one time. I had gone to bed with sexy lingerie for him. He laughed when he saw me. He said.... “Oh god, Amy has her come fuck me nighty on tonight!” And he rolled over and went to sleep. Once again, feeling desperate, needy and now unattractive.

♦️ RED FLAG 3: In the beginning, in that honeymoon period. All the texting and all the time. The tagging in memes, grandiose public displays of love and affection. I was wrapped up in this. But here is the thing though.... This wasn’t just for me and getting me hooked. This is also to directly hurt his ex. He knows that his ex feels discarded and replaced. Because, that’s literally what happened. He wants to get reactions from all sides. He’s got his fresh brand new supply who is. All giddy and infatuated and then he has his old supply who he revels in the fact that she’s broken and in despair all over him. Along with this..... There were the phone calls to “friends”. Doing damage control. Telling them he’s relieved to be out of the toxic and abusive relationship he was in and so happy he now has a new shiny toy.... ME👉🏽🙋🏻‍♀️ In all reality he is the abuser. He uses emotional reactions and it works effectively too. Making the ex look crazy and everyone feels bad for him. Manipulation at its finest. My eyes are open now!

♦️RED FLAG 4: They’ll compare you to everyone else in their life. From ex-lovers, friends, even family. They put you on this pedestal. When in this faze of the manipulation, you feel really special, because they are telling you how much better you are than these people. Then it’ll flip later during the devaluing faze.... They will use these same comparisons to hurt you. Plus they will add to the list and let you know too.

♦️RED FLAG 5: Sly little insults, passive aggressive comments, he would call me out on things that they don’t do either, in fact I pointed it out to him one time when I caught it. He couldn’t flat out lie like he usually does either. But, I could see the evil hateful rage about ready to surface. I sometimes would hid my phone to record our conversations, because I was constantly questioning myself. He caught me doing that one time too. That offense got a death threat. Which he’s told me he’s fantasized about smashing in your face. Also he told me that I’m probably going to be the one who gets him sent back to prison.I asked, “how so?” He said “Because, I want to strangle you to death!” He would insult me with a condescending joking attitude. He always would smirk when I would try to express myself. That smirk was also very evident when he discarded me and I was breaking, shattering to pieces right in front of him. . They get you emotionally reactive. Like saying something that would make anyone react..... Then, when you do react. He would be like.... “I’m leaving I can’t deal with your drama.” Then next thing you know, he’s giving me the silent treatment and he would intentionally over the top flirt with the dutch bros girl right in front of me. He would suddenly belittle my intelligence and any of my achievements. All the things in the honeymoon faze that he use to build me up with…. All the things he was over the top madly in love about me for. He said he loved my confidence and drive. He now loathed all of them and he isn’t gonna hold back getting me lower and lower. I had several very REAL thoughts of suicide being with him and my health was deteriorating. I believe he can actually maintain those superficial friendships longer than he can a relationships. Those “friends” are at an arms length. He called one at the beginning of our relationship, end of his other. Then he called them again at the end of ours. All for damage control.... He can use his charm so damn well and make me look crazy. Of course, point this out and he’ll call you hyper sensitive and crazy.

♦️RED FLAG: 6: Oh yes the social media jealousy provoking platform. When in the devaluing faze. Social media is now used to intentionally provoke rivalries and jealousy. While he just maintains this cover of innocence. He once focused all his attention on me, but now he will post ambiguous videos, liking lots of other girls pictures. He’d bait other women and make me doubt my place in his heart. He would blatantly go out of his way, with intentionally not liking anything of mine on social media. One time I deleted him off of my Facebook. Because, I was trying to do what was right. I started to realize he is an abuser and m not going to change him and that man in the beginning is a delusion. He’s not real. This abuser isn’t capable of loveHe’s jealous, insecure. He has to break

♦️RED FLAG 7: No one on the outside saw his true colors. No matter what they do, they always seem to have a fan club cheering for them. What I noticed too, he didn’t really have “friends” I mean the people on the receiving end probably feels it’s genuine.... But, I began to notice his “friends” too were only used when he needed something to gain. Like in the beginning of our honeymoon faze. He had to make sure all those “friends” knew that he was the one abused. She was the crazy one, who self harmed. Oh no! Not that he could ever control, manipulate, soul suck and destroy anyone’s sense of self and confidence. Actually, that’s exactly what he does. I know for me, I had several very REAL thoughts of suicide. I believe he can actually maintain those superficial friendships longer than he can a relationships. Those “friends” are at an arms length. He called one at the beginning of our relationship, end of his other. Then he called them again at the end of ours. All for damage control.... He can use his charm so damn well and make me look crazy. He has to bring down people and manipulate people to adore and idealize him. This feeds him. I was getting disgusted with myself. I didn’t want to feed him anymore.

♦️Red Flag 8: He had a lot of crazy exes. He was always the victim. He had issues with co-workers and old jobs. He never owned his part. It was always….They, they, they!

♦️Red Flag 9: A sense of entitlement…. Outrageous sense of entitlement and shifting blame. My abuser, near the end of our split started to accuse me of cheating on him. I owned the couches in our home and one day he text me. “You’re giving me those couches, because I have to sell them to pay for my STD test. Someone from your volleyball contacted me and told me you had sex with someone.” All a complete lie. Shifting that blame onto me. Because my abuser was most definitely a cheater. He needs a female supply. My supply was about to end, because I was becoming awakened. I am of no use for him at that point. But he’s very sick individual. So he then goes on the hunt for his new supply. Using social media as a platform. A predator. While preying on his next. He is also plotting his final discard with me.

♦️Red Flag 10: He starts a relationship while he’s still in a relationship. It usually gives him a perfect starter for his next victim. Back to the….”Look, you make me so much happier than I have been in a long time.” And “ She’s so crazy and jealous. Look at her.” Victim stance always.

I REALLY HOPE THIS HELPS ANYONE WHO FEELS AS IF THEY ARE CURRENTLY OR HAVE BEEN MANIPULATED AND ABUSED. I BELIEVE HIDDEN ABUSE IS MORE DAMAGING THAN PHYSICAL ABUSE. YOU HAVE TO RETRAIN YOUR BRAINS THINKING PATTERNS. THIS ABUSER KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING AND HE DOESN’T CARE. YOU ARE MERELY A GAME PIECE TO THEM. THEY ARE ON CONSTANT NEED OF ATTENTION AND SO THY WILL USE, ABUSE AND DISCARD OVER AND OVER AGAIN. THEY ARE INCAPABLE OF LOVE. INCLUDING LOVING THEMSELVES. IN FACT THAT’S WHY THEY NEED YOUR SUPPLY AND ITS WHY THEY WANT TO DRAIN YOU AND DESTROY YOU. THEY ARE JEALOUS OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL EMPATHETIC SPIRITS. STAY EMPATHETIC, BUT TURN IT OFF AROUND THESE ENTITIES. THEY ARE EVIL! IF YOU EVER COME INTO CONTACT WITH HIM OR ONE LIKE HIM…..RUN!!!! FAR!!

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easkyrah · 6 years

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What’s your opinion on younger teens in the sjm fandoms? I’m starting to get uncomfortable when younger kids follow me and their age is outright listed on their description.

This went way longer than I thought it was. I’d originally planned simply giving a one sentence response, but the more I thought about it, the more I think I needed to clarify, and pin down why I felt this way. Because opinions aren’t fact, you know?

I didn’t grow up on bedtime stories where the prince saved the princess. When my mother tucked me into bed, she told me two weeks after her marriage, she cut herself. As she made the motions over her wrist, I sick feeling remained in my stomach for days, and every day my father came home from work, I would rub my palms over my arms.

My father holds that sex remains an integral facet of a marriage. Without intercourse, two individuals exist as friends. So whenever my father felt aroused, he forced my mother to have sex with him, even though she’s repeatedly told me when we’re alone she doesn’t want it—but she has to if this marriage is to work.

I told my mother that that is rape, that he’s undermining the vow to love each other. But my mother’s so broken down from her young, past self, she can’t see it. One day, she asked me, “Do you think your father’s controlling?” Not husband, but my father.

And it is my father that locked me out on the porch, and when he let me in with me blubbering “why why why”, he told me, “I destroy my enemies so completely so that they don’t destroy me.” Me—his daughter—his enemy.

I’d been doing the dishes, and the plates had made a clashing noise. “That sound is annoying,” my father had said, approaching me. “If you make it again, I’m going to start using my fists to keep me happy.”

I told him I’d report him, but that didn’t deter him. “Good!” he shouted. “Report me so that I don’t have to take care of you anymore.” My mother had watched silently, but she knew she couldn’t do anything.

Because he is controlling. He had my mother quit her job before I was born, and told her if she wanted to get one know, it would have to be as a trash can driver—because it’s work that’s singular, where she won’t be surrounded by people. He closed both my mother’s and I’s bank accounts.

My younger sister whispered to me one day when our father was home, “If this is love, then I do not want it.”

I found love overrated at this point, anyway. I identified (and still do) as an asexual, so when my father preached sex was the fundamental root of a relationship, I cringed. And when my sister, still discovering her orientation, told me she thinks she’s bisexual—well, I knew we were doomed.

We couldn’t talk to our parents—because my mother tells my father what we tell her—about how we felt.

“You’ll like boys when you get older,” my father said. It’s why when I was in elementary school, he had me sign a contract that I wouldn’t date until I was over 21. “You’ll start feeling attracted sexually—that’s normal.”

But I never did. I found boys cute, sure, but it never went further than that. And whenever my friends came out to be gay, and he found out, he’d say, “It’s a phase in life, they’ll get over it.”

I’ve never said it outright that he needed to get over his own homophobic feelings. It was not up to him to play a god and determine the happiness of others—such as I cannot let age be an aspect of discomfort to justify monitoring or controlling others.

Who was my father to lecture me on the privilege of having the chance to cut myself when he found out I was suicidal? Who was he to laugh at me when I demanded he re-open my bank account and tell me “that’s cute” when I begged for my own credit card? [Side not, just today I opened a student savings account! It feels amazing having this autonomy, even small, from him. It’s a step.]

Celaena had been told by Arobynn, the father (?) figure she knew, about the ways of assassins. When you apply the psychodynamic view, it’s no surprise she believes in the beginning violence is the answer. And in my household, when not negative reinforcement, but punishment reigns, you associate violence as a form of tough-love.

But books show that this is not the way, and it doesn’t have to be. I read TOG when I was a freshmen, thirteen years old. I’d gone through the Wattpad phase, scoffing and belittling every romance/chick-flick/werewolf/vampire/love work in my head. What did these people know about love, probably conjuring these scenes they wished happened to themselves?

But the beauty with SJM’s works is that not only are her fictional relationships unique, but herself and her husband Josh’s relationship too. With SJM’s characters such as Aelin, it took our favorite protagonist more relationships than the single one in books where the female lead + first male mentioned ship together.

In ACOTAR, on the other hand Nesta’s been assaulted by Tomas Mandray. Feyre goes back to an abusive relationship (arguably) with Tamlin. Elain’s put herself in a shell when Feyre went missing. Her characters intertwined with pieces of my own story. There are not just external challenges, but internal character development cognitively.

And meeting people, conversing with people over Tumblr—I found people just as broken, if not more, than me. You can’t dismiss these people in the fandom across all ages who have had their own experiences because of relativity.

And I find age a relative number. Oprah Winfrey was 9 when she was raped. One of my closest friends, an immigrant from Egypt, was nearly 5 years old when his house had been ravaged apart and the sounds of gunshots still ring in his years more than decades later. And conversely, I learned what a dildo was when I was in a senior in high school—and over Tumblr.

When sex-ed teachers said “don’t have sex till you’re married”, I saw that sentence as justifying what my father said—that sex is essential to marriage. But it is anything but. Trust and communication are. In fact, in social societal circumstances, what you learn in the classroom never covers this. And if you’ve been raped—how do you feel, knowing that you didn’t have a choice?

Because my mother didn’t have a choice, not when she’d be left with nothing now if she filed for a divorce. Neither did my friend who was attacked by a male when she was at the gas station and dragged away in the night at Bakersfield. Education never covers more than the basic of what has been preached for years.

For so long, no’s have been negotiated. If I tell a man “no”, he says, “But I’ve brought you coffee this entire week. I’ve made you food when you were sick. You owe me this at least.” Do I really owe him that? If I’d known his supposed kindness wasn’t hallmark of friendship, but something much more sinister, would I be emotionally manipulated into feeling like a bitch if I’d disagreed?

So when SJM gives me a badass female who goes through the stages of defeat and grief, but picks herself back up, I see a role model. I see what my mother could have been. I see what my father would have deserved—my father who negotiated my mother’s no’s, and that is not okay. “No” is a complete sentence.

It’s not to say SJM’s books prove the epitome of relationships—Aelin had intercourse with Rowan on the beach—do you know how unsanitary that is?? Do you know???

I get the age stigma, and I’m going to admit that I didn’t have my sister read City of Heavenly Fire while Jace and Clary have sex in hell—am I the only one who found that ridiculous?? Books do over-romanticize things, but isn’t that the point of fanfiction? To portray it in however you feel—more realistically?

When I first came onto Tumblr, my fics were only angst. I carved facets of my own family life into these fics, and when I received notes that readers cried and couldn’t believe I had the capacity to write this, they became more exposed unknowingly to bits of me.

I’d rather my sister read books and join the Tumblr fandom than say yes to the boy on the bus showing her a pornographic video (because boys do that unashamed here), allow teammates on our cross country and track team to smack her butt and ask to make her feel better with a kiss, etc.

Because in our circumstance, reading the stories of those, such as Celaena who survived Endovier—she’s the closest thing we have to understanding our own situation of what transpires in our house. When Sam died, my friends had sobbed while those whose parents had passed away—they didn’t shed a tear. So the former learned what it felt like to have someone you loved ripped away from you—and this empathy later on serves as a life skill.

The fandom itself has been incredibly supportive. I’ve met people from Bulgaria to Australia, and not only do I have better glimpses into the culture, the bond of SJM books have brought a situational awareness that I have yet to experience sitting fifty minutes in a high school classroom.

Because it’s too late to learn the truth of things in college. Our brains do not absorb the information as compared to when we were younger. Retention rates and all that—we’ve got to start young. There are many forms of education, and Tumblr taught me that my father is not the only type of male in the world—and that there are others like me who have thought there was no way out.

SJM’s characters have taught me self-love, that I can be more than my environment. Age knows no boundaries. What one person experienced at 9 years old is what another could have in his/her 20’s.

Age has always been a limit. I mean, it wasn’t until the 26th amendment 18 year olds and over could vote—but are there not the prodigies below that mark more informed about government and politics than someone who has only lived in their city and has been exposed to their parent’s opinions since he/she never went to college? Especially today with the Internet as such a vast source and online class to enroll it, education starts with incentive, not age.

And if NSFW posts are the issue, then we can always insert that read-below cut. It won’t prevent them from not reading, but we can always frame it in a way that perhaps is meant for these younger readers, and then at the very end, reveal that it was for such.

We can use our blogs in a positive manner to educate about sex, if that’s the root of uncomfortableness. We can be the sex-ed class that we never got. Tell me why my sex-ed teachers called people out if they asked questions, saying the kids were too eager? If we are to overcome the stigma about learning about our bodies, then we have to be able to talk about it.

The youth are the future generation, and if we keep teaching kids that we shouldn’t know things at certain ages, then we set limits on education itself. When I told my sister to not read City of Heavenly Fire, she got a copy from her friend and read it herself—which put a strain on our bond. Because restrictions show that we do not trust. And we’ve got to take the leap of faith.

I get not everyone has these tragic/pity/sorrowful stories, no matter what you believe. But personally, SJM’s books taught me that there exists some good in the world. There is redemption. There are second chances, and my sister and I struggle to fix our family.

We have to be exposed. It’s how we function. And for kids who never went through sex-ed, reading books as a source of information can direct them to look things up and educate themselves.

SJM’s books illustrated that you could find happiness without sex—a fact my father would have disagreed with. SJM showed that love is progress, and doesn’t have to be detrimental. Some may interpret her books in other ways, but that’s why it’s so pivotal we have these discussions.

Take Nesta Archeron. Lots of people has called her a cold-hearted bitch, not realizing that it’s an actual, legitimate defense mechanism. And if being a cold-hearted bitch is sending mercenaries after your sister, starving yourself to death so their father would save them, writing a letter to the Mortal Queens despite her hatred of Faes—then I guess I would be too.

But knowing me, I’d freeze up and probably would have not lived at all. Because it’s easy to dismiss characters when they do something we don’t—as if we could have done better. Sure there’s ways Nesta could have gone about and done things differently, but then she wouldn’t have been Nesta Archeron, you know? We’re dismissing her as a person, and coping mechanisms as invalid, which people use in life.

Passing judgments on characters is easy, but when you dive into the Tumblr fandom, you see people defending her (like me), and get another side of things. These debates allow for that one track mind to diverge.

Because if I hadn’t opened up to people, then I would have continued to cut myself. And then I was able to help my sister stop too. The exchange and interaction of ideas may be used to promote ideas that no longer remain up to date, but that’s why we have other users who are up to date, and use their knowledge to write about them. Because knowledge is power!!

What do you guys think? Lowkey highkey want your feedback and thoughts not just to my response but the anon’s as well.

#anon #opinion #thoughts #if you have more questions just in case i made this more confusing shoot me an ask #because i ramble #a LOT

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