#and i’m smiling more now

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

a post in which i rant about tech related things yet again

kinda sorry kinda not bc tech is the only thing consuming my life right now. also wednesdays seem to be cursed. last week someone i thought was my friend asked my deadname and this week,, i don’t want to say felt worse but i genuinely think that was the worst i felt. i can not put into words how much it hurt physically. ok time for the actual story

the joke of the day was “yeah back here we are having mental breakdowns on the daily.” and holy shit is that true. one of my friends has cried every single day from the stress and you CAN NOT blame him for it. i can not stress enough to you guys how horrible it is to work this musical. like yay i get to be with friends but everyone is falling to pieces and no one is ok and the teachers dont fucking understand. so i also cried yesterday. and ima be honest i didn’t want to. i went to get water and i jsut knew i needed to so i went back to my seat backstage. didn’t last five minutes before i had to go to the other side so i could to my friend.

long story short the stress from tech and the guilt of not being able to help my friend got to me and i broke down. doesn’t help that only a week ago someone asked my deadname. and it feel like that happened months ago. not 7 days ago. i quite literally do not have the time to unpack that. i do not have time to sit down and think about with myself. i had to rush to the conclusion of fuck that man i hope he understand show horrible of a person he is to me now.

i would like to mention we haven’t even gotten to the worst part of yesterday :333333

ok time for the worst part: so the friend who cried (love that man) left before me which. hurt. but i get and i wasn’t gonna force him to stay with me. i get home and i see an ungodly amount of notifications from arsom gang fire emoji as normal (i love u guys idc abt the notifs) and a dm from him. for the record he doesn’t dm me out of no where normally. and it says “for now on, don’t talk to me”. i just started testing my friend again and she now knows everything things i refuse to say online because they are barely even my business. you can use ur imagination. so apparently he unfriended me bc maybe twenty minutes later he refriends me. he also texts me apologising and girl i forgave him so fast. i hope he knows how much i love him. (platonically he has a gf and is significantly older than me) but those twenty minutes before he did that my mental health was at the lowest it has ever been. and 2020/2021 was really bad for me mentally. thank god no one died around me.

so yeah today is the day of trying to take shit slower and making sure my friend is ok. bc even if im not good at playing therapist i need someone to be there for my friends and if im that person then ill be that goddamn person.

if you read all of that i love you so so much and i really do mean it. if you want to talk to me about anything go ahead. :)

#and i’m smiling more now #theatre #musical theatre #theater #plays #musical theater #high school #school #school sucks #students #bad teacher #woah a real text post #tech crew #tech #techies

[touchlikethesun]

furudate keeps releasing “interviews” with the hq boys as they grow up and continue their careers like they’re actual famous sports players and he’s just reporting on their life updates, and i hope he never stops. i want new hq gossip mags to keep getting released periodically until the day i die, furudate i love that you are as insane about these boys as we are never change xx

#in the most recent one kags talked about how he used to practice his smile in the mirror #but now most people understand that he doesn’t necessarily smile to show he’s happy so he’s more comfortable now!!!! #and i’m 😭😭😭😭 #i would like life updates for all of them #and i’m not crazy enough to think that they’ll never get married they’re not idols you can tell us when they start dating someone #i’ll be happy for them and normal about it i promis #haikyuu

[turbo-tsundere]

“Smile like Gonta! Smile like gentleman!”

It’s 23rd of January both where I am, and also in Japan, so here we go, my small and long overdue tribute for my fav character ever! Or in other words, f that post and happy birthday to the King! :D

#gonta gokuhara #gokuhara gonta #danganronpa #v3 #ndrv3 #my art #now I go to sleep - I pushed myself to finish this drawing and I'm legit exhausted #wish I could have more time to do tweaks here and ther but... still I'm happy I managed to do it! #But honestly I’m happy I’ve got to play V3 when I did and legit glad I stumbled upon Gonta #I could write a book about him but then I'm also afraid no matter what I'll say I will never do him justice #he's interesting in nonconventional way and not the type of character I usually end up liking - and tbh that only adds to my appreciation #but then I'm better with drawings than words. so :) #also #pregame Gonta is smiling on the inside he just shy grump don't mind him #(or maybe he's like 'you have ONE second to run' idk) #also also #yes this is a little play on the line Gonta says during Himiko's dojo scene :D

[pepperpixel]

More powerpunk girls art!!!! Cuz they are just. Fun to draw ghgh- this time trying to get a better design for brat! Cuz even tho I liked the old one I had.. I wanted to try and give her a lil bit more edge… so! Here were some experiments w that! I didn’t succeed in. Solidifying anything, as u can probably notice. Considering her outfit is slightly different in every picture ghgh- but! Idk! Maybe that’s ok lol. She’s the sorta character who would have a bunch of different outfits it’s fine lol

#powerpuff girls #the powerpuff girls #ppg #powerpunk girls #ppnkg #ppg brat #ppg brute #ppg berserk #doodles #also featuring! I think the first picture I’ve drawn of brute smiling lol! #anyway yeah… been workin on these all day my brains mush… have some powerpunks I hope u enjoy them ghgh- #actually. more thoughts rlly quick. #why I wanted to give brat a lil more edge: there called the power PUNK girls… and I felt like brat was having a severe punk deficiency ghg #like. I don’t think she needs to actually BE punk. but just… needed a lil more edge.. a lil more a teensy bit #i am also thinking about this in regards to berserk. which is why I gave her lil fishnet gloves here lol. but idk! #I have some ideas for her but… I do like the design I already have for her too.. so idk. I’m thinking about it tho #ok now I’m done w thoughts lol

[devilsrecreation]

Some more Kenge appreciation cuz I love him

Didn’t post the smiling ones cuz I already posted them here

#i said more cuz the smiling pics count as appreciation #i was appreciating his smile now i’m appreciating the rest of him #tbh i always did that #more coming in the reblog #i like his laugh too :) #kenge #the lion guard

[can-a-tuna-fish]

Don’t let him fool you, she has the worst case of senioritis you’ve ever seen.

#I like to think Jeremy has pretty crooked teeth so he smiles with his mouth shut out of habit and it’s so goofy looking #he’s literally X] #she/they/he Jeremy is very canon to me #adding another freak to the senior year designs #if the world was kinder I would be gifted a groundbreaking plot to write them into #but for now I’m just pointing at them and going ‘yeah this guy is failing highschool BAD.’ #and making them work retail #(true fact about me btw I have a post-canon fic sitting in my notes about Rich and Jeremy literally just being coworkers) #(not even in a fun way either) #if you ever need someone to write an extremely mundane plot based on the least normal source material ever I’m your guy. #call them retail workers the way they’re working retail #be more chill #bmc #jeremy heere #bmc jeremy #bmc musical #be more chill musical #undescribed #my art

[hanzajesthanza]

dressed elegantly. this will never leave my head. the implications of this.

because geralt and his company, they saddled up, left beauclair, travelled through mountains and frozen blizzards and downpours and muddy sod for two to three months. you need to pack outfits for that. you need to plan your gear.

what was the rest of the company wearing? what did they pack for this long journey? they packed practically, dressed warmly for the frozen journey of january, february, march. geralt wore a wolf-skin cloak, a scarf, a shawl… milva wore a fox-fur kalpak, angoulême wore a hat with a pompom and a sheepskin coat. cahir’s dress isn’t mentioned, but he must have been dressed similarly, because he rubs his hands briskly together and were he not dressed warmly he otherwise would have frozen to death. regis’ dress isn’t mentioned, but it is mentioned that he’s immune to the freezing temperature. so, i mean, it doesn’t matter what he’s wearing in this scene, maybe a regular outfit.

but at stygga. dressed elegantly.

so you’re telling me that. regis packed his things in preparation for their flight from beauclair, went to his quarters after geralt explained to him the satisfactory reasons they were leaving, and went,

“alright, time to prepare for this long and dangerous journey that will conclude in a great clash between our forces and the kidnappers of ciri. the end of our quest. the final journey. and a dangerous road awaits us, with snow still blocking the passes, frost and white all around. a grand fight and conflict awaits us. what gear should i prepare, what should i wear for this expedition, what kinds of clothing should i pack.”

and then he went:

“you know, i want to look fucking good ✨ when we get there 💅🏻🦇”

imagine the final preparation before they approach castle stygga. geralt sees the castle hewn out of the cliffside, effortlessly noticing every detail from far away, seeing like an eagle with his mutated eyes. and like an eagle, compelled to swoop down and snatch vilgefortz like a fish. ordering the company forward, declaring they’ve made it. this is the moment they have all been waiting for. everyone has been waiting such a long time for this. they prepared everything.

they wait until midnight. angoulême eagerly unsheathes and whets her long sabre, swings her axe around with predatory glee. cahir fits the plate armor and winged officer’s helmet he scavenged from a small nilfgaardian dispatch that they ran into extorting caravista for tax. milva tightens the same worn, polished leather bracer that she’s always had on her left arm, and mutters as she fixes her spiralled arrow fletchings over boiling water. geralt, with nothing left to do, paces and breathes, wondering where the hell regis has gone.

just then, regis walks out from behind an outcropping of rock, eyes glinting with cat-like light, in his “elegant” outfit, absolutely slaying that shit, and all his friends look at him absently like. “what the hell are you wearing. where the fuck did you get that. you packed that? you planned your outfit for the final battle, you planned this outfit in advance three months ago?” to which he counters, “well, three months isn’t very long at all,” and they’re like, “this is the preparation you made? we thought you left to do some secret vampire rituals or whatever. or to reckon with yourself for the severe violence we’re about to inflict.” and he’s like “no, i just wanted to make sure i was dressed nicely for the occasion”

#witcher 3 keira metz’s ‘if i’m to die i should look smashing for the occassion’ should really go to book regis i think that’s canon for him #also my headcanon would be that he looses his hair and takes his glasses off #kind of like in a movie where a nerd girl has a glow up and walks down the staircase at the end with her glasses off and hair down #and the boy she’s dating is at the bottom of the stairs like ‘wow… i didn’t know …’ #except the boy in this situation is geralt #however it’s less of a cute thing of ‘haha where’d the cute nerdy girl go’ and more of like. um. where is the kind barber surgeon i know #because if you exist quietly and sense the night around you and pay close attention to the moonlight #there are some kind of powerful unknown dark energies brewing and swirling around their group now like fog #he laughs and smiles and he does not purse his lips. and his hair is becoming tangled in the wind #and geralt’s like. who the fuck did i bring to stygga castle. lmao #angouleme: yesss slay uncle | regis: [nods head solemnly] we certainly are | angouleme: noooo like SLAYYYY 🔥🔥🔥 #bruh your drip is straight fire 🔥💯 #the witcher books #txt #emiel regis #regis #book: lady of the lake #headcanons

[catastrxblues]

this is how organic chem feels like my eye is twitching right now

#one hour down two more to go 🥳 #and it’s 12:41 am 😁 #and i still have to go to another of these chem class tomorrow 😁 both on saturday and sunday 😁 #where i’ll have to meet people i don’t really feel like meeting right now 😁 especially not when i’m sleep deprived and tired and done #with the world 😁 just smile and go through it everybody 😁 it’s okay 😁 everything will be fine 😁 #i want to buy a dagger and stab a dictator (this is definitely directed to the already dead caesar of course of course) #chem tag #nadine.mp3

[somebluemelodies]

shoutout q!Cellbit and q!Roier for, while stuck in a place where literally anything can happen to anyone at any given time, being the first ones to embrace their feelings for each other and making it a matter of “let’s make the most of this” rather than letting their fear of losing each other take a front seat and prevent them from getting “too close” and being together

yes the fastburn really burned fast with them getting married so early BUT i couldn’t see their relationship happening any other way and i don’t think it could’ve happened any other way. the fastburn is one of my favorite things about spiderbit honestly

shoutout spiderbit for showing that love can blossom in even the most dire and unpredictable circumstances- when i say they set the standard for love on isla quesadilla i’m only half-joking <3

#about my last point qcellbit crashed onto the island with the intention of murder #and then got sidetracked by roier and his very pretty smile bc he felt a genuine warmth for the first time in his life #and then the joke flirting between them got less jokey as their bond grew and it became clear that #there was actually something real there #and they actually wanted to keep getting closer to each other #caring about each other far more than ‘just friends’ should :> #AND THEN QCELLBIT WAS RESCUED AND THEY RAN WITH THEIR FEELINGS #sorry i’m so deep in my feelings about them right now #are these tags even going to get read? i have no idea #but alas here’s some of my brainrot #meus pais </3 #qsmp cellbit #qsmp roier #spiderbit #qsmp

[ssreeder]

he… he was born to be a hero and became a villain… he was born to be a villain and became a hero… no one asked them what they wanted… they don’t even know what they want they don’t even know who they ARE…. they bring out the worst in each other…. they can only be honest with each other and they hate it love it hate it destroy it in the end…. they ruin each others lives…. they don’t regret each other…. if you even care…. I’m gonna apass out

#WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???? #HELLA WHYYYYY #I swear this is cruel and unusual punishment #you can’t take your talented brain and invest it into dabihawks and pull out the most beautifully tragic words for them #YOU CANT MAKE MY HEART WANT TO CHAIN SMOKE #MY HEART IS CHAINSMOKING #WHY WHY WHYBWHYYYY #Wait why am I thinking you write a MHA fic??? #I’m going to go to your ao3 and find out #Hella why do you want me to suffer with you??? #I’m trying so hard not to get sucked into their bullshi #But I can’t stop thinking about them now #Seriously the way hawks respond to things with wit and a smile even though his sense of justice is more fucked than even dabi #Dabi sees the injustices in the justice system and he wants to burn it to the ground #& hawks is over here like ‘just not the wings man’ #fire is good fire is bad fire is good fire is bad #Hot is good hot is bad hot is soooo good but it’s sooooo bad #Damn it hella stop it #STOP IT #Is is bad to say I do like endeavor? #Are people going to throw shit at me from the back!? #I love myself a flawed character with a fucked up sense of judgement and I’m also a sucker for that character realizing that they fucked up #& then trying to make amends because it’s not too late but it is too late hunny nothing will never be the same as it was and even when it w #It was fucked I mean come on man shotos crying in the dojo because you hurt mommy while touya is imploding in the forest and now they’re #Battling it out for your love while also seemingly rejecting it because they don’t need to be loved (but they need to be loved so badly) #SOMEONE LOVE HAWKS DAMN IT #Haha I love hawks though he’s like welll shit I kind of forgot about my mom I hope she got out ok and Dabi didn’t murder her oh well #Shit happens wow this is a nice apartment maybe I’ll sublease this thing #Make back some of the money she made SELLING ME TO THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT #*deep breath* I’m getting rambling over here

[wild-whims-with-abandon]

Someone said “make them kiss” from my last post

Haha why would I do that

In two different styles

#oh I’m unwell #that post being my first one here got way more recognition than I expected… thank you #I’ve been sat in public doing the Jeremy Brett #mouth thing trying not to smile too hard reading the reblogs #acd Holmes fandom on the rise right now is the only thing keeping me sane #I love gay people #acd holmes #Granada Holmes #Sherlock Holmes #that second one was the first sh art I’ve ever done #I was nervous so it’s wonky

[ahsokatanohno]

HERA AND LEIA ARE PALS. AHSOKA AND EZRA AND SABINE REUNITED. AHSOKA IS HOPEFUL AND THRIVING. THREEPIO IS HERE ON BEHALF OF SENATOR AND DEFENSE COORDINATOR LEIA ORGANA. ZEB IS TRAINING RECRUITS. MY HEART IS FULL.

#Ahsoka #Ahsoka spoilers #Ahsoka spoiler #I only need one more thing and that’s Hera reunites with her boy now #if I see Zeb and Ezra reunited I will be through the moon #but I NEED Hera to see and hold her boy after all this time #it will only take that and my skin will be clear my crops will be watered my faith will be restored #it’s a simple request #a humble plea #as I sit here screaming crying losing my marbles #can we talk about leia and Hera being friends tho #can we imagine the wine nights #please someone write Hera and Leia’s conversation about this #can we talk about Mon Mothma looking like an exasperated mom friend #‘NOW what have the pair of you gone and done’ #‘I can’t leave you two alone for two seconds’ #‘I’m relieved you won’t be arrested but I’m going to kill you both’ #Mon mothma’s voice going soft as soon as she saw threepio #that did something to my heart #Hera’s SMILE when she saw him #teva having enough of chopper’s respect that he could hold a hand up to him and not be murdered #Zeb is training recruits 😭😭😭😭 #do you think they remind him of young Ezra #and Ahsoka #can we TALK about Ahsoka #look how much better she’s doing #how much more confident #and hopeful #and involved and emotional and HAPPY #I’ve run out of TAGS

[foreverppl]

Moodboard for my MC Evander for @uroboros-if

I so enjoyed playing this demo last night and have been having many Thoughts about it.

#it was so tough finding pics i thought would fit what i have in my head but this will do for now #i was up thinking abt this IF for soooo long it’s unreal #what is eternity? #unending time but also timelessness #like what does it mean to be the container for something that has no beginning or end? #the container is rendered useless obvi #but here the MC stands so there MUST be something to that right? #maybe it just means they must act as a witness to it all. #they are resigned to an existence of knowing and seeing things others do not and being unable to impact those things in any meaningful way #like an echo #like a black hole that is packed so densely with matter but appears to be little more than a void. Nothingness (capital N) #*me muttering to myself while reading and making this mb*: the symbols the symbols the cycles the void the echoes #the fact that when mc is summoned into existence one of the first things we can choose to have them do is replicate a smile (echoing) #idk if i’m explaining this well. tried to talk to my sister abt it without sounding like a madman and suffice to say that didn’t work out #i’m really losing it #those quotes from house of leaves: ‘divinity seems defined by echo.’ + ‘and where there is no echo there is no description of space or love #there is only silence.’ #that bit from disco elysium #‘how do you measure something that doesn’t exist?’ ‘easy. you measure it by the world around it.’ #evander is fond of mortals. they are humanity’s echo in the truest sense. #they are therefore in a very unique position for the conflict that is about to come #of course these are all just my interpretations and thoughts #my mcs #mb #mc: evander (uroboros) #if: uroboros

[acoraxia]

I think the world is cruel.

But that’s ok.

I’ll sit here and do things that make me happy, even when I’m sad, and learn new things as I grow.

Because who else will look at me and say, “Do you want to learn about orcas and their biology?”

No one.

Because the world is mean.

So I have to tell myself, “Search for something new,” and that’s how I’ll find something that’ll keep me happy until I’m sad again.

But that’s ok.

I’ll just do it all over again.

#woof loupen #im sad right now #but im smiling #because i did something nice #and i’m learning new things #and i’ll look back on today and go ‘i learned there’s a type of flower named after a bat’ and smile #i love myself a little bit more #which is a lot more than yesterday #and thats nice #im going to sleep now tho gn

[simplydm]

I’m finally up to date with welcome to Nightvale… time to go back and listen to all of TAZ again

#smiles in coping mechanism #but no I’m excited bc now I play dnd I’ll know more

[flowercrowngods]

when the 1975 said “till then we’ll knock around and see if you’re all i need” and when they said “you look so alive do you fancy sitting down with me and see if you’re all i need?” and when they said “don’t you see me? i. i think i’m falling. i’m falling for you” and when they said “don’t you need me? i. i think i’m falling. i’m falling for you.” and when they said “on this night and in this life, i think im falling”. and when they said “according to your heart my place is not deliberate” and when they said “i don’t wanna be your friend. i wanna kiss your neck.”

#when you rock climb and beat that route you’ve been trying five times now you look so alive. and i get that little oh moment #where you get so pretty. and your eyes sparkle. and your neck. i wanna kiss it. and bite it #and hold you and hug you and sit with you forever. will you let me? would you? would you allow me to tell you what i see? #would you let me yearn and ache and long? my hand itching for your touch? your neck so enticing for me to bury my head there? #would you? or would you be wise would you be smart would you see there’s nothing here. would you smile and say i’m sorry #would you fuck me up a little more. i think i’d let you. i think i would. i think you should. bc there’s nothing here but thoughts of you #and that’s painfully little for an adult human person. but it’s all i have. it’s all there is. it’s you. i wish you knew how much that is #i wish you knew about the potential for you to be everything. i wish i could tell you. maybe one day i will. but you shouldn’t listen #you should look away. i scare easily. i’m only half a person anyway. and still i wanna bite your neck #dio.txt #the 1975 #fallingforyou