#and it feels like im just sorting thru other people's messages lol

[menalez]

hey i just wanted to say thank you for talking about your SA. i actually had a very similar experience w/ a guy i was really good friends with in high school.

he was my best friend, but i got pressured into dating him by my friends, family, his parents. (his mom guilted me into being w/ him 🙄 practically stalked me til i said yes)

he ended up abusing me for nearly 3 years.

and in that time i wrote stupid notes or letters to him making sex jokes cuz i was a KID. the lawyer we hired blamed me for his actions bc of the letters bc of he did 🤦🏻‍♀️

but even still, some weird part of me misses our friendship that we had before other people started meddling in our business. it makes me feel guilty sometimes, and other times it's relief. iunno trauma is weird.

uh but yeah. thank you for sharing, i know it's hard to talk about and be open with this sort of thing. i just wanted to say that you aren't alone as a lesbian who wrote dumb things as a kid or who missed/misses what friendship you had before your friend SA'd.

i think it's also extremely fucked up for people to judge your sexuality based on the way you tried to cope in the past, let alone now.

just know that a lot of women, myself included, really appreciate you being here c:

hey thank u for sharing ur story with me ❣️ honestly the thing that rly hurt about it looking back is it was in a v vulnerable time in my life. i rly had practically nobody. i lost almost all my friends bc i was suddenly a "whore" for getting raped. i would get these messages on all my social media accounts like "you deserved it" "you were seducing him" "haha hes living a good life and youre cutting yourself looooooooool pathetic!!". my friend group went from a lot of my school (small school but its normal for bahrain) to like ... 4 people in bahrain. one of them was that guy that had a crush on me since we were like 11. he would stand between me n my rapist and went to the principal about it so that i would have lesser proximity and was one of the only people who seemed to empathise w my situation. i felt quite indebted to him n everyone would repeatedly call me an idiot and tell me i should be with him and my mom would say she wishes he could be her son in law or w/e and at one point he started insisting that we are together despite me telling him no we are not & that i dont want to be w him. i gave up on saying no eventually n just went along with all of it. i felt like i was stupid for saying no ??? ppl kept telling me i was n i was like huh i guess i am. never said no again rly, up until the very end where i could no longer ignore it n keep putting myself thru any of that. after leaving that situation i saw how fucked up it was that there were all these obvious signs and me obviously signalling TO HIS FACE that i dont want to be w him, that im not interested in him, that it was further traumatising me n harming my mental health, and also the times where what he was doing would fall under SA....idk i felt stupid for facing one male friend taking advantage of me and then another one doing it soon after right in front of my face n i thought it was somehow different and normal and ok simply bc i wasnt getting downright threatened. but i know if someone else didnt hear my rape story n tell me "uh thats rape and thats fucked up" to begin with i wouldve also probably let that happen again n again too n not thought much about that while getting traumatised until afterwards too.

anyways... im glad that ur out of that situation. im sorry that we have some shared trauma there. shit like this is why i dont even trust "nice guys" anymore fr. i dont think that many ppl can rly understand that sort of situation and i can get how its confusing, bc it was a confusing time for me too. but idk why they think theyd know better than me about my own life either lol

[khodorkovskaya]

Thank you v much for your response I really appreciate it

My ex used to do similar things tbh, except he would do it by messaging all the time, but if I didnt reply he would then start to accuse me of stuff (turns out he was doing everything he accused me of, if someone accuses you of stuff you're not doing, they're probs doing it) and would have me 2aiting all day for him to be ready so I could do anything at all because I would constantly be waiting dor him and then the day would be gone too.

But he would use super manipulative language too all the time, like I only do certain things because I love you, and if I didnt do stuff he wanted he would be super annoyed and upset or he would ignore me until he got what he wanted and then be happy. I found myself trying to please him all the time :(

This guy tho, a lil bot of context, some is probs my fault tbh, like when I like someone whether its romantically or platonic ally I get really nervous and at first when I talk to them I often reply slow because I'm nervous of making a mistake etc and putting them off so I'll wait hours because I'm thinking of the perfect reply etc... I do this with people I wanna be friends with too..... it's awful really I need to get out of the habit of it tbh... but anyway I did that with him but I've tried to speed it up a bit becasue j know it can be self destructive and I dont mean any harm by it but its prkbas partially my fault tbh

hey, it's natural to be nervous when talking to someone you like, everyone's like that, it's okay! but just don't obsess, you know? if he doesn't reply to your messages, well so be it. bc if you expect too much, you'll be even more disappointed.

and the most important thing here is, it's better to be alone that to be chasing after someone who doesn't care. i have to remind myself of that all the time... like yeah, sometimes it gets super lonely and you really really really wish you had that special connection with someone. but the feeling of loneliness is nothing compared to the feeling of frustration and feeling like you're not good enough for someone and the constant waiting for the other person to show any sort of affection. like i remember the things id put myself thru for my ex and it makes me shudder. id much rather be 10x more lonely than go thru that again.

and don't get me wrong, i don't want to victim blame, but it's very important to take responsibility for yourself too. if you know that you're susceptible to letting men walk all over you, watch out for the kind of behaviour that attracts manipulators who want to take advantage of that and change it. stand up to them and form relationships on your own terms and if it makes some men flee, it means that you're weeding out the bad ones. i know for sure that in my next relationship im not gonna be cancelling plans just for the possibility of him texting me, im not gonna be all pathetic if he wants to ignore me over a misunderstanding, im not gonna let him get away with things that cross my boundaries from day one, etc. it's gonna be hard bc you need to be very confident, know yourself well to know and assert your boundaries, but it's gonna be so worth it!

so about the guy you've been texting, please don't take things so close to heart! if he replies, great, if he doesn't, well so be it, no big deal. and i know it's hard bc im the first one start making wedding moodboards on pinterest the second i have a crush on someone lol, but girlie please don't worry about it so much! <3

[quanxui]

i might have to go anon for this, but yup

aaa thank you, ate you're my life's saviour lmao. and it's so cool that you have little to no social messaging apps !! i mean, i only hav it bc of sch and fam ig but aside from that ill delete it in a heartbeat. my mother told me it'd be better to have no gadgets at all, or phones to be specific, and it's something im looking forward to do as i age hehe i imagine answering telephone calls or writing silly letters to my olden friends hihi, the idea's so cute tbh

anyway, im conflicted with myself whether im just sensitive or what flkfskd and the person im talking about is in my small circle 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️🧍 at first, my feelings towards them was fine until i hav found their replies a bit hostile and callous, example: edi wow, sml, and more, especially sml after i tell a story huhu, ik they do it bc ofc someone influenced them and it sort of rubbed them into always and automatically reply that, lik a habit/mannerism or defense mechanism idk they're nice but that's how they casually talk, and i don't really lik it bc it is soooo unnecessary, insensitive, and childish. omgh wait, this is a big a toll to discuss about urgsvhj but yes, i feel wonky about it, i hate that we hav our small gc and id get to interact with them daily with the feeling of needing to stay on guard yk?? it's tiring !! ::((

m

omg! first of all, you're not sensitive at all. people have got to stop using those phrases!! especially online because it's more difficult to “hear” someone's tone and things could go wrong. but yeah, you're not being sensitive. i'm sure a big number of people also find those phrases offensive even me!

personally, i'd tell my story to my other friends separately. id interact with the friend as little as possible, sabi nga niya “share mo lang” edi sige wag na i-share yan sa kanya. also if they do that online only, and you guys meet up personally then sure, tell them the story in person. talk to them & interact with them in person! if they're like that in both irl and online, lol leave them out of your stories. leaving them out would or could bring a lot of drama though and it's childish hahahahh

the mature thing to do (i think? cause im not sure about my maturity ahsgajdgdh) would be to talk to them about it. i don't know the character of this person so i can't predict how they'd answer but maybe you can imagine it? and then, depending on that, you tell them through group chat (when they do it) or you privately message them.

“hey friend! i'm not really sure how to tell you this but your use of skl etc. honestly hurts me. i'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or you really don't like my stories but even so, being sarcastic hurts me. if you have any problems with it, maybe tell me? did i do or say something wrong?” something like that i guess?? or when you want to do it in the group chat you could just say, “hey friend that actually hurts, did you really mean it?” and “i'm sorry i don't get if you're being sarcastic or what but it hurts.” not these exact words but something like this?

you could also talk to other friends about it so they'd understand your point of view before you confront the friend. as friends should, i'm sure they'd understand. you could tell them in person too! that feels more heartfelt and better! or thru video call?

this got too long but i really really hope this helps!! or it comforts you in some way? good luck to you and your friends! i hope you & the other friend come to an understanding, friendships are really really nice to have!

as for my online habits... i still have facebook for school, i just didn't download it on my phone & instead go on the computer to open it so that it's separated in some sense? i still don't interact that much though cause i open facebook once or twice a day to check announcements & instead go straight to the Classroom or to my emails. i made good acquaintances through group projects so we could help each other but that's about it. as for relatives, i have a telephone & a cellphone number and my other family members relay the messages or stories told online to me during dinner. or i ask relatives about it when we see each other, if im really curious. they have been bugging me about it but i won't budge. i'd get a flip phone if i could read manga & read emails & watch youtube there but right now i'm satisfied with my old phone!

and i actually have instagram and interact a bit there. my hs friend group has long separated from each other but i talk to some friends there & i like looking at pictures there so it's all good! i also open it on the computer sometimes. sometimes i even chat with some old friends on genshin lmao >.< i do have this cousin who would message my whole family if he had something urgent to tell me. it's so funny walking around the house and having people stop & tell me the same message!

#fyi id only do the excluding thing to a friend ive given up on. or if they're not that important for me to try & salvage the friendship #liham

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

▪︎

#sometimes i lowkey regret posting the om! tag thing bc it gets so many notifs whenever it resurges that it just takes over my notifs :// #and it feels like im just sorting thru other people's messages lol #prob bc i assumed if anyone shared it then it'd prob be done via asks but it's just been a flood of replies/ #and reblogs* whoopsies #anyway this is just me being awkward again dont mind me #just gonna delete this later anyway mist probably #most* #sorry for being a downer ig part of me is subconsciously probably just annoyed by it somehow but like that's me wifh everything lol #i never post those things bc ik im either not gonna get any asks or everyone else but me will get stuff sent in so.. salt in the wound 🗿 #but then again i usually don't like drawing too much attention and the notif that i got a msg/ask always gives me anxiety #even tho i usually don't get hate mail bc i don't even do much to begin with lol.. and if i got any i'd just bark right back so like... #why do i ever bother getting scared? it's not like it's a scolding to receive an ask lol calm tf down #okay yeah i think i went off a lil too much in these tags im sorry yall i just needed to vent for a sec #delete later asf

[the-acid-pear]

I just can't get enough it seems, time to start the next Baki the Grappler book!

It seems that this one will take on the saga i saw on the anime (at least by the end) so that's exciting

Chapter 1

First off quality is SHIT lmao

Yesss i remember this. I still think that shit about everyone trembling is a lil... Mmmm bullshit.

Baki be like <:] but in a smug way

Look at Tokugawa my man

OH RIGHT HE LEFT THE TOURNAMENT WITH A CAST

This feels so random

Oh right the synchronicity shit

Baki is so -_- in this manga

Look at the old timer go

YEAH FR TOKUGAWA JUST BROUGHT EXPLOSIVES TO A SCHOOL FULL OF CHILDREN TO MAKE A SHITTY ANALOGY SHSHWKWGGE FREAK OLD MAN

Chapter 2

Ahegao

Epic grandpa

HO NICE

Mf really swam thru the Pacific ocean

Chapter 3

Huh i thought he was Scottish

This random guy was pretty interesting looking, the one executing Doyle

Fucked up shit how they still do this stuff

King, i can somehow still remember his voice in particular fsr

Also since no one reads this i will say it: Doyle does NOT look white ahagdbafhsdbc

I like that he didn't bother killing the doctor

Is that Strydum? 🥺👉👈

Chapter 4

Shagddjd i was going to say that, this dude could have easily taken a different path from violence

GAARN? MY MAN? MY BELOVED GARLAND? IS HE ALIVE STILL?!

FFS NOT FOR LONG HHH LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY...

I mean it's fair, Sirkosky uses weapons, but man, Garland... :'/

This all hits so different once you know the characters :]]]

Chapter 5

That pic is still so brutal

What an absolute troll shsshwgxgd

Also fun fact when i watched the anime i didn't pay much attention at first so I assumed the Russian was Spec (i didn't even know Sirkosky's name)

I love how that was unnecessary shagdhsr

ADAGDFAGAFAD this guy was also great

Spec was fucking insane man aggsggahsfg

I love he's full of tattoos

The absolutely king

OH RIGHT Spec is sus *laugh track*

Chapter 6

Oh hell yeah, grandpa's ex

Baki tf you doing there in the cover you madlad

...bottom storage.

THEY ARE SO MEAN LEAVE HIS SHORT ASS ALONE SHSGJSGS

He's my size btw

Was there a motive for him to be naked or was he just a freak btw?

I love the shape of his eyes ngl

I love how scared the guards are while he just calmly rambles

I don't wanna call yanagi my grandpa because i think yanagi can get it and it would be like calling him daddy but the Gilf™ is Dorian man life is so hard when you are me

I love Yanagi's face lol he's handsome

Chapter 7

Poor Baki lmao he just got better from the maximum tournament and now this

Lmao Baki has a point

Unnecessary, Doyle

Chapter 8

I love how they were recruiting dangerous mfs to beat up this random guy bc his vibes are fucked up

This guy looked a lot like jack

You gotta be brave to shove a knife that sharp into your pants

I love how Baki literally did nothing to em

Baki's face just looks wrong this isn't my beloved child

Imagine you are about to fight this mf and he just shoves his hand inside his pants

Chapter 9

This dude really looks like, fully japanese jack hanma

JWGWKEGWKSGE I LOVE HIM

I love how Spec just showed up dressed up as a fucking monk or something

Chapter 10

You guys know, Dorian reminds me of my now dead great grandfather, with the moustache look even more.

Not impressed, 15 yo Hanayama did the same when throwing a tantrum

He's so insane i luv him

Okay but look at the cut of that outfit look at how well it hugs his chest and waist but flows bellow... Spec my dude you could have been a mad good model 😐 he's even giving me gender envy! 🥺

I love how Baki used both his hands for the handshake

Chapter 11

Ho, speak of the devil, i was just talking of this fucker with Blood

Mf got so old

I like how there was no motive for him to be naked he literally is just Like That

Also it's from here that he got that wasp waist lmao

Mf just flexing at this point lmao

GRANDPA!! <3

Yanagi got cake

That's so unnecessary rude, obsessed. Also, as if you weren't old Yanagi. I see why they broke up now ;/

Chapter 12

11 and 12 are the same fsr

Chapter 13

I honestly wonder where these prisoners got their clothes, like, aside from Doyle that one time everyone else is never shown shopping or even owning money

Also i love the fact that on a daily basis i dress the same as Spec, that definitely says something bout me jagsjsgwhwfwg 😭

To be honest, considering the size of Spec's body, they should definitely feed him more

He didn't wash his hands 😢

Dick and balls too strong ajgshsgsg

I love how fucking, polite he is.

Oh i see, i thought he might have stolen a wallet or something but nah

Btw i genuinely don't remember shit JAGSKSGWJGS even if it watched the anime i forgot most of this

Chapter 14

GOD the way the anime butchered Katsumi, he's so handsome in the manga in comparison 😐

Also i like how they aren't explaining this like, Katsumi was the one who lost, did he wait until Retsu was okay to fight again in HIS ("") dojo?!

RETSU STOP DOING THESE SORT OF TRICKS THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AJDGSJSG

HE'S JUST BUILT DIFFERENT

Okay he actually explained, oddly nice of Retsu to accept tho

Hoho this scene hits different now that i know and like Katsumi

Also I'm not even gonna question where Doppo is, dude is never just around skdgksgd

Chapter 15

I love this genre of cover

WHITE BOY SJDGSJGSHS-

I love that retsu is just watching, he's still an asshole QJGSJSGWH

If i didn't know Katsumi I would say he died

I did actually think he had died when watching the anime

Retsu still has his thicc ass i see

Chapter 16

See all this makes sense now that i know retsu and the shit he has seen and been thru!

Angry lad, lucky his hair didn't burn

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HE EXTINGUISHED THE FIRE WITH HIS SCREAM

Chapter 17

Ahegao in the cover

I'm looking at the pages and I'm obsessed with Doppo being described as a "bold, badass karate master", it's so accurate <3

Also Igari being called eccentric, and the mention he defeated Mount Toba!! <3

Baki is slowly looking more like Baki

"my mother is dying"

Tasks keep failing successfully

Chapter 18

mAh boy...

That happens and it's the worst

Musashi you good boy 🥺

Chapter 19

Igari <33

That's insane

Chapter 20

I love that Igari looks legitimately worried and sad, not sweating tho

I love how he didn't have any serious damage until the punches like, okay.

Poor Igari tho

DID HE CHEW EM OFF OR SOMETHING? SHSHWGEGCH

Was anybody going to tell me is Sikorsky and not Sirkosky?

Also i love how legitimately scared Tokugawa is, probably more than when Yujiro picked him up

Chapter 21

The heights are so off in this saga

Oh my fucking god i didn't know Spec was 221

Either heights are all over the place or Yanagi is not 160

Either way HOW CAN YOU BE THAT SMALL? 🤣

GAFSFWEAD Tokugawa like "i own this place 😐"

Doyle is still the most decent one of the bunch

URSURSUTSUSTSRU

LOOK AT YANAGI DORIAN AND SIKORSKY ALREADY GETTING THEIR HANDS READY SBDGSHW

I googled how big Andreas from the tournament was and like, 2.40 😦

LET'S GOOOOO EVEN WITH A BEARD OMFG 😳😳😳

I see Hanayama descended into alcoholism after losing in the tournament. Also tf is with that bag? Was he hiking or something?

Jsgsjsgd Shibukawa is so excited too

I think this is chronically the first time Doppo appears with fully casual clothes, usually he either was in a suit or in his karate uniform

I'm straight up simping to the public now sgsjsgwhw

Chapter 22

LOOK AT THESE DUDES..... 💞

FUCK I WAS GONNA SAY THERE WERE MORE BAD THAN GOOD GUYS THEN LOOKED DOWN AND REALIZED THAT NO, SHIBUKAWA WAS JUST NEARLY OUT OF FRAME 😭

They all look so upset about that information

SIKORSKY NAME GOT SPELLED AS SILCOSKI...

Looking at them drives me insane i developed such a bond with all these fighters

I haven't seen Doppo this excited since last time his wife showed up

BAKI SWEARING?! 😰

How did Tokugawa grab Baki's shoulder?

ALSO WHY TF IS BAKI SO SURPRISED AS IF HE DIDNT GO AROUND BEATING UP PEOPLE WHEN HE WAS 13...

Don't worry Baki y'all will, Tokyo is not that big it seems

Shibukawa swearing 😨

"Imagine being mid but and Spec pulls up on you" "imagine having sex and she takes the mask and it's fucking Spec"

To be fair i would fuck a 2.21 muscular lady without going "hmmm this doesn't seem like a good idea..." in any moment

Chapter 23

I love how Dorian is just looking up

ACTUALLY ALL THEIR STANCES, Yanagi making dead eye contact with Gouki, Sikorsky with a firm pose just as Hanayama, Doyle with hiss chest up but eyes down giving a sense of pride, and, well, then there's Spec being Spec.

I like seeing Sikorsky having fun

I love Spec he played so smart SGSGSGS

😳 love wins!

Oh i had already forgotten about the dojo

Old man Dorian just has that effect on people

Threesome i see /j

He really was just fucking hiking i would love if they ever explained that ough 🥺

Did his facial hair just disappear?? STSGSFSD

BWHEKEGWJG THEY REALLY JUST FORGOT TO ADD IT FOR ONE PANEL IM OBSESSED

Such a good kick tho

The relationship these men can have is so oddly nice like not Doppo and Retsu specifically but all of the fighters in general. Like many of them barely know each other, but they all know their fighting styles and respect each other, plus have no reason to be in bad terms with one another and specially not now that they are all fighting for the same cause. It's just so nice to see em idk JAGSHS

Hey Igari.

Chapter 24

Thank God Doppo went <3 again it had been so long

Babe are you okay? You hadn't put a lil heart in your speech bubble for a while...

King really punched the fire

I will chose to believe that's true bc it's impressive 😍

You know it's funny like, Katsumi is mad good but he doesn't has as much experience as his dad and that leaves him in disvantage

Hehe i remember that guy

The manga is so much better than the anime ffs

I love that he didn't even realize

Chapter 25

Manga i don't think that's science

Also Baki just chilling with some doves lmao

I'm looking thru old messages see how my og reaction to this was

Huh i found nothing, that's odd. Well my reaction would have probably been like NOOOOO anyway so, y'all can imagine it

You left my dilf handless you fucking asshole good thing he has a wife

Imagine this dude cuts your hand and then just flexes his knowledge about science or whatever

HSSGGSFS THEY FIXED THE NO BEARD ERROR

Illiterate king <3

A guy did this to me once btw!!! Obviously in way smaller scale but he just touched something and the bleeding soon stopped!!!!

Honestly that's the most huge dick energy thing Doppo has ever done

Pfff I'm starting to remember why i liked Doppo so much 🥴

Bitches confused over him running away, tf was he supposed to do? He played it smart since there are no rules

Though yeah an eye and NOW a hand, insane

Chapter 26

Sjshhdhsn tanuki?

Oh, fox, he was calling him slick

Manga is pretty faster than the anime

Chapter 27

Where's your honor, Igari...

He is right sadly enough 😔

Oh i keep forgetting Igari's nature, he was probably trying to pull his silly little tricks again

This is just brutal honestly

Hehe this time i didn't get scared ☺️

I like that at least I'm not the only one who needs their mind off the gutter

Chapter 28

Love seeing em datin <3

He's so aggressive accidentally i love these dorks sm 😍🥺💞

SPEC FFS SJGDHWGW

Chapter 29

SPEC FOR FUCKS SAKE SJSVSJWGSH

Hanayama is such a real bro man

I LOVE THAT HE WAS JUST STALKING BAKI TOO BTW SJDGJDGDHSBDGDGS

To think i will still love hanayama but for entirely different reasons 😌

Chapter 30

Kaoru looks different but idk how

What the fuck is Spec even saying?

The fact that that makes no sense, i still love it a lot tho.

ALSO I ADORE HOW QUIET HANAYAMA IS WHEN FIGHTING

Okay Spec really has a point it really is beautiful

GOD I'M STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THESE CHARACTERS TOO MUCH I NEED HELP AJDGSJSGSHS 😭

But it's beautiful in the sense like, look how built he is! Look at all those scars!!! It IS beautiful it's a masterpiece!!!!!!!

"i choose to believe this is how hanayama always undresses" KSHSKDGSJ THE AMOUNT OF SUITS THIS MAN DESTROYS.. OBSESSED

Though yeah Hanayama in general is also beautiful isn't he?

Chapter 31

I would sob man look at him. Look at Shiba.

NO ONE RISKS HIS LIFE MORE THAN SHIBA YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I STILL HOLD A LOT OF RESPECT FOR HIM!

A BENCH...

I really don't get why he's letting himself get hit, is he just flexing?

I cannot way to see him do his Technique ™

Chapter 32

Manga is so much superior to the anime, like, i haven't complained about Spec even once bc he isn't annoying anyone, in the anime he was so infuriating!!

I love when they just steal their standing poses sjsgjssgsh

That distortion effect so good

Chapter 33

I still think it's weird they used humans and not machines, though it was effective

I love how Spec managed to punch that statue without calling the attention of much people that's impressive

And i love that he keeps saying man he sounds like me with bro

Hanayama my beloved

Chapter 34

Yeah I'm not reading all that 😐

Oh this explains the holes in his clothes

#luly talks #btg #having a shitton of fun #the anime is NOTHING compared to the manga #the only good thing about the anime is the voice acting which is just on point #but everything else SUCKS man #they made me hate my man Spec and now im seeing he wasnt as nearly as annoying as in the anime #AND THEY BUTCHERED SO MANY FACES... EVERYONE WAS SO FUCKING UGLY #HANAYAMA... KATSUMI... EVEN BAKI WAS MAD UGLY 😭😭 #but everything is better now ☺️ #also i hit the limit of letters again 🥴 #baki liveblog

[tumblunni]

I feel like I have too many friends...

I have trouble even dealing with just three or four close buddies cos I wanna spend ALL MY TIME with my friends but I can't do it with all of them simultaneously. So I just end up having really long in depth conversations with everyone and then they try and have even longer more awesome ones back to me but it means my inbox is full of four of them at once and by the time I finish reading and responding to one there's even more from the other person and then the first person replies to my replies and AAAA! Or I get paralyzed by worrying who to talk to first and trying to remember who I've talked to most often this week so I can balance it equally and show them all I appreciate them. And then I feel awful cos I'm online but I'm not talking to them,cos I'm being all stupid and anxious.and sometimes I talk to other more distant acquantences cos we might just say one or two sentences or something and it's easier to keep on top of those messages. And then I just feel awful cos the best friends can see that I'm online and see that I'm talking but I'm not talking to them and AAAAA it's hard to explain why...

And whenever I have a stressy day IRL it just compounds it all, I end up missing some prime talk time and then the conversations get even longer and I have even more to read thru before I can start replying...

Alas the curse of too many amazing perfect wonderful friends who all have so much stuff to say!!!

I think maybe I should follow less Tumblr blogs so I have more time for just the friend ones. It'd cut down on my 'mandatory chore time each day'. Cos I have the stupid compulsion to read EVERY post on my dashboard and I feel like I can't get my day started until I've read and responded to everything everyone posted since yesterday. I have a stupid tendancy to make everything into a chore in my head, or like..a thing where If i don't do it I'm a bad person even of it doesn't make any sense. So all the fun goes out of it and I'm only doing it because of my anxiety yet I just can't stop... I have a lot of blogs I follow not even because I like them but because I "have to" see all the things they do. same as how I have a backlog of 100 YouTube videos I haven't finished and I'm not "allowed" to watch new ones I actually like until I finish them, and I have like 200 steam games I got in various sales over the years and I haven't finished and I keep punishing myself for not finishing them which only makes it less fun and gives less reason to actually play them...

Basically I suck at dealing with big quantities of things no matter what it is. And four best friends feels like two much when I spent so long not even having one! Gahhhh

Nd then real life stuff has been so much more busy since I moved house and I need to also set aside time to remember to practise drawing and to buy groceries and wash all my clothes and just maybe this is actually an issue with me sucking at repeating things every day?? I seemt o have the opposite of routine, the more often I do something the harder it seems to be to remember it. I've gotta try and do it at different times or spice it up with different ways? It's so dumbbb why am I such a mess of executive dysfunction...and why does it keep happening with stuff I enjoy and I know I'll enjoy it but I just get so anxious about it that I don't enjoy it and I just sit here like a sad sack instead...

So umm yeah this is just an apology post for my stupidness,and I don't even know how to explain my stupidness, and umm yeah this is why I'm probably gonna be less active on Tumblr. Well, that and also a friend invited me to twitter and I've been trying to be more active there,and also trying to spend some time every day playing a videogame so I can cut down on the 200 game pile, and also spending some time a day cleaning and painting and furnituring so I can get the house sorted, and also trying to go out more often and explore the new neighbourhood and just GAH there's so much to do every day I just get all dumb and scared and end up doing nothing...

I guess it's just a side effect of making so much progress with my mental health this year, stuff has gone a bit too fast and I feel like I'm in over my head. I honestly kinda only used to have so much free time for blogging cos I was depressed AF and stayed indoors all day. Was too depressed to even do any of my indoor hobbies like gaming or drawing either. Not that blogging is a bad thing or anything, I think finding comfort in blogging helped me make my progress, because I found a lot of kind people here and different kinds of odd lil encouragement to try again at the stuff I was scared of. Like shit posting helped me start making art again???

Man it's just so complicated and I'm trying myself in knots trying to figure out the reason why I'm nervous about having so many friends and I guess it's just something I might never know. Anxiety isn't exactly rational, after all...

But umm yeah I guess I'm weird cos im less of a 'talk every day' person and more like 'talk once a week but when we do I talk SO MUCH and it takes seven hours', lol. I'm such a weird mix of introvert and extrovert where I both REALLY ENJOY talking but also am SUPER SCARED OF IT????? And I suck at making future plans cos i can never predict if my anxiety is gonna happen tomorrow. I'm always like HELL YEAH I WANNA DO THE THIBG TOMORROW and then oh no I am actually tomorrowing into a black hole of depression.i guess I should start being more "can we do it today" but then again that'd be rude aaaa...

God how do I manage to deal with my dumb head, I wanna stop being a rude friend.

I don't know why so many people want to be my friend in the first place aaaa!!!!

I love you all so much and I just get anxious I'm not doing everything perfectly right to show you I care,so I end up doing nothing and sending the opposite message...

[yslkook]

hii i just wanted to say that MoM is genuinely one of the best characterizations of badboy!jk i’ve ever read, I know you mentioned how you felt like it didnt really meet what we’re sort of used to in this trope but honestly i thought it was so refreshing.

It felt like a real depiction of what jk would be like in real life, not overdone or cliché. Also I wanted to mention how you described the situation of the toxic friendship so damn accurate, tmi but im currently going thru something similar and i felt so alone in how i was feeling. When i read that i was like OMG do other people get this too??? I found a lot of comfort in it. I havent felt like this about a fic in such a long time and im so glad it somehow ended up on my dash. I’ve gone back and read through it twice already lol and that NEVER happens, you had me kicking my legs and screaming into my pillow at 4 am on a weekday.

You dont have to respond to this hehe but i just thought i should say how i feel. I hope you get the inspiration you need and dont feel pressured to get it out asap. Thank you for sharing your writing with us! 💖

OMGGGG i've read this like a million times... thank you so much 😭 A REAL LIFE DEPICTION OF JK...thank you for fueling my own delulu dreams, i mean this is the highest compliment. im soo happy you found comfort in this fic and RE-READ IT?? ill cry rn. 4 am on a weekday pls

im sorry you are in the middle of a toxic friendship but i promise there are definitely many people who can relate. i hope you find peace in that relationship soon!

thank YOU for reading and sharing your thoughts with me, i will cherish this message forever<333

#asks #sdlkfjsldkf #fic: mind of mine #im flustered

[sylvrain]

“Get to know me” meem

i didn’t mean to mistype meme but it’s funny so im leaving it.

Rules: answer these 30 Qs and then tag 10 blogs you want to get to know.

Thanks @sapphicidiot for sort of tagging me

Nicknames: just a couple variations on my name but i go by Vincent online

Gender/pronouns: im just a dude he/him

Star sign: capricorn but im not a capitalist

Height: 5′9″ lol (175)

Time: it is 7:30pm

Birthday: Jaaanuary 11th

Favorite bands: the national, kero kero bonito (i absolutely love their mission, message, and style!!), made in heights, the paper kites, Language

Favorite solo artist(s): gregory alan isakov, dua lipa, jonsi (!! its been years and i never get tired of his album Go), does claude debussy count? lol and ravel

Song stuck in your head: True Colors by JT and anna kendrick from Trolls (no i have not seen the movie and i hope i never do) bc i almost sang it for choir with a friend but we changed the song to I See the Light from Tangled which is a million times better

Last movie you watched: God’s Own Country and it was AMAZING i can’t wait to show my sister. Definitely worth ordering online before seeing it. im glad i have a copy so i can longingly stare at the case on a daily basis

Last show watched: um. danganronpa 3 like a couple weeks ago lol

Why did you create your blog: i had heard tumblr was a funny place so i made an account lol. this was six years ago

Other blogs: mmmmm confidential. but if u want to b friends on steam or something or you want my instagram or spotify message me and ill be happy to oblige

AO3: isnt that a fanfiction website? I don’t have an account on it.

Do you get asks: occasionally, yeah. I think it mostly depends on follower count and what types of things you post. I’m not tumblr famous but i get an ask every week or so on average and i love them

How did you get the idea for your URL: i saw part of a tumblr blog a couple years ago that either had a similar url or a blog header saying “graveyard botan” or something, i didn’t see the whole thing (hence “botan”) but i immediately fell in love with the phrase “graveyard botanist” and went to see if that url was available and it was. i dont think of it too literally but it has a cool sort of aura to it. flowers in a peaceful grassy graveyard.

I follow: i mean, you’ll know just looking at my blog. there’s no specific type of post i never reblog from my dash. mostly its silly stuff, memes and nonsense, but there’s some philosophy (mostly from perkwunos) and some literature/quotes/art (a couple of these blogs i absolutely adore and should find more like. in fact i found God’s Own Country thru one of them) as well as some photography.

Followers: a few hundred but most are inactive i think since ive had this blog for years

Average hours of sleep: uhhh like 7 or 8 on average. Which is good ive been conscious recently about sleep

Lucky number: what is a lucky number

Instruments: BOY i LOVE music, im mainly a singer (studying music ed next year!!) but i also play piano and some ukulele occasionally. i would love to play viola someday

What are you wearing?: just shorts and a t-shirt  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dream job: bitch being a conductor!!! i love music and i want to conduct a choir or a symphony (might have to give up that dream bc tinnitus but we’ll see)

Dream trip: florence, italy. take me to the uffizzi. and then to the louvre in france.

Significant other: i wish, god

Last book I read: im horrible, ive read way fewer books this year than usual but im almost done with Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance right now. and a collection a ee cummings poetry

Top 3 fictional universes: Inheritance (Eragon.... I love that magic), MapleStory, and uhh... i don’t know much about this because i haven’t read it all but there’s a webcomic called Everblue and there’s a floating city on the ocean and somehow the idea of an endless blue ocean is very deeply compelling to me. So, that.

i usually tag a couple people but really just do it if you feel like it this time. go on 

#vincent #i know im long-winded!!! i hardly ever just give normal short answers #but hey it's me whatever #these are fun to fill out #it gives me a better sense of identity and i just like completing things like this. #i might make my own some time with different questions. bigger questions

[sleepymouses]

ah man, so many things been going on, and mental health wise over the last year or so i’ve been Notgood and v dissociative and generally felt like i loser drowning in the void if that makes any sense idk.. just been doing a lot of drifting out, probs started as a coping mechanism, now i cant make it stop, yikers :/

anyays, quick bullet points of recent events, some awful, some not, just all significant stuff that been floating around in my head or whatever

(would probob not rec reading this, v all over the place and probs Upsetting to read outta context of being me, lol)

major family shit been going on

like stepdad of 12 years revealing himself to be the absolute scum of the universe, having an affair in all the worst ways, lying so, so much and being cruel and manipulative and shit beyond belief, some shit i’d already felt but so my mum and he are splitting up and thats been so much emotionally, mentally, and very much so financially :/

keeping my fingers crossed for that going well, my mum and brother have been thru so much already, fuck, i feel so bad and also terribly inept w comforting, never know just what to say or do, hope im not making things any worse at least (which is a v valid worry ;/ )

got into both schools i applied to, picked one somehow, worried about getting into debt

going to be moving out to a big city for that this fall, which is incredibly new and scary and exciting, i hope i’ll be ok

tbh my main worry with how i’ll do with that is the still not rlly diagnosed chronic pain in my hands/wrists that i haven felt releif in for actual years, and i honestly fucking terrifying bc what if im just pretending it’ll go away someday and my hands are actually fucked forever?

my abuser of like 10 years died a couple days ago, not sure how to feel about that, had been kind of expecting it for a while as he was old and in bad health

just mostly hoping ppl dont try and tell me to mourn him or anything, i dont think i’ll ever hate another person i knew personally as much as him, he was awful, but at least now i hope i wont have to think about him and freak out, always get nightmares when i do :/

i do intend to do a lot of important big adulting things soon, going to try and get back into therapy, for real this time, and other stuffs.

as i write this, i just got back home today after a really lovely 3wk vacation in mexico, have a house down there that we have to sell bc of all the shit going on now, which is really sad bc my mum put so much of her heart into it and making it feel like home and everything, but still it was a rlly good trip, im only sorry my stepdad ruined it all for my mum

i needed the break so bad, fuckie, like i been #dyin and feeling so awful, had mental breakdown at work right before i left, fuckin nightmare man, also with school i dont think ill be doing much anything like a vacation for a couple years at least, and even after that, who knows?

i know if i let myself think about elationships and my friendships i’ll get way depressed, feel such distance with so many people i used to feel so close to, and of course it’s my fault somehow, even admitting ive had a hard time with  life in general only seemed to make things worse, made me feel further apart, but then... they all seem to be doing so well, so realizing i really havent been missed at all doesnt make me feel very good about trying agian if that makes sense, like my self confidence been getting so notgreat that realizing so many of my convos with other ppl consist of “read” messages from myself that were never responded to, like i know if i could see this from a perspective that wasnt my own, i’d be being a dumbass of some sort, but honestly it makes me feel so awful that i cant bring my self to bother these ppl again

  who know, i dont even know if im making sense, jsut trying my best to get the chaos in my head unscrambled at least a lil, data is fuckered up so bad it makes the readings ridIculous triyng to read

idk, lot of this is probs big olde pile of garbage nonsense as is often the case when i try to organuze my thoguths, and tbh i wouldnt think much of anyhting, im like.. mostly fine, partially really great in some ways really, just..

everything’s so much, man.

#hella personal pls doont rebllg im just putting my thoughts out there cos i dont like em being trapped in my head #cws for.. idk all the things family shit infidelity brain junk tfff depressed shit anxiety lies idk #also death and abuse and relationship shit idk jsut many random things #lotta junk #go away heather #personal #as usual this wasnt the post i intended to make but whatever im never here anyways pls feel free to ignore this all #anyways like i said im going to therapy soon and whoo boy i got bucketloads of stuff to sort thru #but having a proffessional help me with it honesltly im exciteddd #also hey im back from 3wk vacay woo hoo

[thegeminisage]

SUPER SPOILERY REVIEW OF STAR WARS

im putting it behind a cut, but if cuts aren’t working for u and you see a fuckton of text, SCROLL PAST IT. those are spoilers!!!!!!

OK HERE WE GO LAST CHANCE BIG SPOILERS AHEAD

the good (lots of this):

every single scene with carrie fisher in it

that they didn't KILL leia god i'm so relieved

her little fakeout death w/ the recovery at the end i ugly cried that's how relieved i was

i’ll note that for that one second i really thought she had drowned in moonlight

seeing her fly back to cheat death was so fucking good for a moment it was like carrie gave death the finger and was with us again

here’s a nice review about how this was accidentally the kindest and most loving goodbye to carrie and leia i agree with all of it

also rose is amazing i love her so much from her starry-eyed hero worship of finn converting to straight up stunning him a second later down to her saving him at the last second

like she's in a lot of pain but she does what needs doing - even giving away her pendant (tho i'm relieved she got it back) - even crashing into finn when he's being an idiot!

finn is still very much himself, by which i mean he's fully 1000% "bye y'all lmao" when shit gets hairy

the comedy!!! god it was SO FUNNY poe’s call with hux the little porg bird thingies luke trolling rey like 11/10 on humor it never felt too badly timed and honestly in such a serious movie and in such serious times i think we all needed that? like, there's never a wrong time to try and lighten your load, yk

all the space stuff was done well in general actually - like the alien race on the island, the icy fox creatures, they were nice star wars-y lil details and really added a LOT to the feel of the movie

the music as always was 10/10

it really sort of kind of is the last of the jedi?! (more on this later but at least the temple burned)

REY AND POE FINALLY GOT TO MEET

speaking of poe, his mother/son relationship with leia :')

luke skywalker high key Did That he really did face down the whole first order with nothing but a light saber

luke getting to see leia and his droids one last time ;_;

also, R2 hitting below the belt by playing the Original recording of leia that was one of the 3 times i cried (the other two being when leia survived the space thing and when luke showed up to meet the rebels & leia)

bb8 was honestly so wonderful & when poe was like HEY happy u guys are alive wheres my droid! it honestly gave me life

YODA!!!!! i was so happy to see him :')

rip snoke u dumb bitch lmao

kylo ren didn't get redeemed!!!! suck it r*ylo shippers

the bad (barely any of this):

kylo ren came THIS CLOSE to getting redemption and rey was full on suckered into this fuckboy's drama-angst and i think she'd be smarter than that like they did her dirty and actually i'm sure the r*ylo shippers are delighted, which: disgusting. he only tortured her! no big deal!!!

i Do Not Like the subtle implication of a rose/finn/rey love triangle. like, mostly because i hate, hate, HATE love triangles, ESPECIALLY ones that pit two women against each other, but also, people will get very ugly over this if we go this direction. please lets dont, can’t everything just be gen, Please Lets Dont 

the nitpicky (by which i mean, not too bad exactly, but could have been way better):

that codebreaker guy flip-flopped alliances too many times. first we liked him, then hated him, then liked him, then hated him—one or two misdirections is plenty, past that you're just overdoing it

they did phasma dirty she deserved more Depth rather than to be some throaway villain i expected finn to empathize with and spare her at the last second, But No

not thrilled poe spent most of the film kinda sitting around and not interacting with finn or rey or bb8 ecept thru comms—mixed feelings on his plotline in general, it was good he learned some stuff but bad that he sort of had to carry the idiot ball to do it, and it's emotional whiplash to spend the whole movie thinking he's right and when he suceeds he'll show them all! and then have him very much not do that and present it as character development - there should have been some sort of audience awareness that he was making bad choices, but instead they just made purple haired lady look like a bitch until the last second

also not thrilled rey didn’t get to interact with anybody but luke and kyle ron like :/ cmon i miss her and finn!! i wanted to see her finally INTERACT with poe!!!!! not just meet him!!

rey's parentage technically thematically makes sense but it was executed so weirdly and without confirmation that it was the absolute truth that i don't know if it's For Real and it didn't gut punch me like it was intended to, i think

i was expecting them to go "the force belongs to all of us, no more jedi!!" until the very last second when they kinda chickened out and it was okay i guess but also :/ mixed message!!! i suspect they can't do that bc marketing lol

there were a lot of fakeout deaths and it really stressed me out they might have gone too hard there

the side trip to the city felt a Teensy bit unnecessary like im all for rose's development i LOVE ROSE but if they could have found themselves there rather than gone out of their way to go i would have bought it a little more

i don’t like rose mortally wounding herself/risking her life for finn with the immediate romantic implication after like...let her do that OR smooch on finn or like even do both at different times in the movie but Don't do both at the same time like No Man Is Worth Your Life, not even finn, the Only good man!!! 

there was one tiny moment of queerbait for finn and poe which........dont

like i almost wonder if the lil smooch was to try and discourage the finnpoe shippers like for some reason when writers hear about fandom shipping two dudes their reactiosn are always 1. give one of them a gf 2. separate them like why bother with romance plotlines at all it always gets ugly i hate it

i was slightly confused when luke died i didn't realize it was happening til it was over like overall im at peace w/ how he went out especially considering theres definite room for force ghost stuff later but was he like looking at himself near the end? maybe i missed something but i like thought he saw something in the sun and i was like oh shit the first order came to blow him up! and then the suns were covered with clouds and i was like ??? and then he was looking at himself and there were two suns and then he vanished! and like i got that he died and why he died but was was the thing in the sun did they shoot the planet destroying canon did he hallucinate the other sun it was all just very ???????

OVERALL: 

4/5 for the above mentioned reasons. i would have given it a 5 if not for that kylo ren bullshit like they’re doing rey so wrong with that it’s my main beef with the movie

my favorite from the first was finn but this time it’s rose (sorry finn)

my least favorite as always is kylo ren

#/ #// #/// #//// #///// #personal #star wars #star wars spoilers #spoilers #tlj spoilers #the last jedi #the last jedi spoilers #im sorry thats every tag i know i hope nobody gets spoiled by this........

[yoongillinme]

bts appreciation rant

so like. 

i spend a lot of time reading through bts lyrics, analyzing songs, and reading song analysis articles. 

i just wanted to rant about how it’s amazing that legit all their songs have a deep meaning behind it? 

ok i want to focus on the WINGS album. 

i read through all the solo lyrics and i’ll quickly go over the meaning of each of the solos in like one or two sentences. 

[Reflection] Rapmon: well a self reflection of his identity. who he is and how he’s felt like he lost it.  (i feel like this is a recurring theme for him? makes sense. it’s not a short term topic.) [First Love] Yoongi: his first love for a piano. his bud- the gateway of music that was there for him even when abandoned, even thru his struggles, etc.  [Awake] Jin: about being not as good as the other members in bangtan? [MAMA] Hobi: a message to his mom- #1 hobi supporter- (it’s so beautiful omg. the line where he’s just like ‘you can smile now’ had me bawling) [Lie] Chimchim: his past insecurities and low self esteem (same tho ;;) putting him thru living with this image he thought of himself that was a lie.  [Stigma] V: uhh i’ve read 2 ways this cud go like a duality? 1- I Need U continuum 2- a message to his family. his apologies for not being there for his sibliings as they grow up and how they’ll grow up looking up to a brother they don’t really even know? he feels bad he cant protect them. (tae’s all about family so much that it hurts my heart)  [Begin] Jungkook: for his bangtan hyungs about how they’ve always looked after him n he wants to give back? basically something like that.

well ok just from that alone we all know that ALL of the songs hit the members on a personal level. 

so what im thinking rn that’s got me writing this appreciation rant is that

they are on the wings tour rn. they’re performing this on stage in front of millions of people. 

these songs that are so personal to them. songs that expose a personal part of themselves to so many people. it’s so personal that it makes their stage mean so much more. 

these stages should be valued more. it’s like them giving us a piece of how they feel, things on their mind, things they’re ready to share a personal story of their past with the world. the struggles, the relatable circumstances. it’s so human and realistic. 

and like. ‘connected’ (lmao rapmon says that a lot) but legit you get to know the artists better this way. it’s sort of like a bonding experience.

it’s not just simple love stories. not just a direct meaning. this is why i’d be so happy and even proud to talk about the meaning of these songs if someone were to ask me what the song is about. 

my mother asks me often if i know the meaning of the song that’s playing. i usually say no- that it’s probably just about love. some love song. i cud have read the lyrics before but the meaning never stuck to me or i never really understood it (lol) 

but.. like with bts lmao i know the reason for so many of their songs and so far for the WINGS album like none of them are about just love. 

Lost is about the path to your future/dreams 2!3! is the bridge from BTS to ARMYs Am I Wrong is about worldly issues 21st century girl is about the empowerment of women LIKE YOO. who does that? bts does. like shit. its amazing.  and like MOST BTS title songs, BST is not just a sexual song lmao it’s about how hard they work. again. like dope. bts sells themselves so much to music. their sleep their health their time and their freedom i just cant rn LOL (ok but im not too well versed on bst meaning tbh. that’s what i got from it tho the last time i looked at it intently.)

ok that’s it for the wings album rant. 

extra appreciation!

YO WHY ARE CYPHERS SO GOOD.

bts gets so much hate and i just love it when the rapper line just throws them down like savages even classier when it’s to a mannerful degree! (suga in cypher pt 4 omg) also realize suga’s like usually.. typically last in cyphers where he just burns them to a crisp and earns himself worthy enough to do a mic drop and maniac laugh. 

i also love that they cuss a lot and all that other shit but they’re not like super stepped on for it. yknow? they’ve been blurring the line between hiphop and kpop since debut and they’re doing it in the best way possible. i remember telling friends i listened to hiphop and rap too years years back but only be saddened when i got judged when they found out it was kpop hiphop or kpop rap. but bts sort of just gives no two shits to ppl who make fun of them for being underground rappers and kpop idols. it’s amazing. i have no reason to feel ashamed anymore. the fact that they don’t care gives me all reason to not care either.   also how cool is it that suga produces a lot of their songs? i wonder how he feels when they actually perform it on stage. it must be like the best feeling in the world- to perform a song from scratch.

ok i’m getting tired i’ll stop here. im probably biased like 90% of this post.

[MORE RANDOM]: btw. im under the transformation of exol to army. you can tell bc if u look at my shit, slowly all my wallpapers are switching from exo to bts... lmao first my phone home screen then lockscreen, then computer homescreen, and im p sure within the next week my comp lockscreen n profile pic. 

#bts #btspls #bangtan #bangtansonyeondan #wings #wingsalbum #analysis #appreciation #appreciationpost #bts appreciation #rant #pt1 #btsappreciationrantpt1

[captain-fanattic]

All of the oc asks with Mack!

DEEP BREATH

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Mack Walker! it was just a name that seemed to fit him.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

cowboy?? uh. i mean he works on a mechanical bull ranch, talks pretty southern, and dresses like he was raised in a barn so. Cowboy is about the best title he has.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

it was pretty good yeah! nothing too awful happened to him, he’s on great terms with his family and he loves them, he lived a pretty average childhood for someone in this era. bad memory is him probably almost getting trampled by an angry bull as a child. fond memories are eating good food and celebrating holidays with family members!

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

kind of accidentally answered this one in the question before lol

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

hmm he might have like 2-3 sisters but i havent mapped them out yet so shrugs im sure their relationship is pretty good though! and theyre all much younger than him.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

didn’t really care much about school, just kind of got through it. don’t think he went to college, barely managed to get through high school. he’s good a good enough education and understands how the world works for the most part, at least. he liked art, math, and science. wasn’t a big fan of history or english.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

he had a few close friends, not a huge friend circle. he’s pretty good at making friends in general though and he’s friendly like nearly 24/7 so im sure he probably would have kept in touch with them into adulthood unless something happened to them or he somehow lost a way to contact them.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

he grew up on a farm and then got his own farm so he’s always had animals around him. standard farm animals for the most part except many of them were robotic. his few real animal companions were probably a dog and a cat and maybe a couple chickens.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

loves them! tends to be very good with them and rarely has a problem with them.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

he can deal with them but he doesn’t necessarily want any himself. he doesnt mind his younger siblings and loves them to death, but anyone else he’s just kind of like “meh”.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

don’t think so! he loves to eat and will eat almost anything.

12. What is their favourite food?

probably some form of dessert tbh

13. What is their least favourite food?

shrugs

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

mostly all the great food his parents would make around the holidays!

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

very good at it + enjoys doing it! most others tend to enjoy it as well.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

i feel like he would collect old coins. probably keeps them in a box somewhere in his room

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

he takes selfies with his bulls a lot but that’s about it for photography. he’s not on his phone a lot but when he is he’s either chatting with someone thru call or taking pictures of his bulls

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

he doesn’t read a lot and doesnt have a favorite, he likes country music obvs, dunno what kind of T.V. he would watch, maybe the cooking channel or like cartoons LOL, he likes vintage video games but doesn’t play them a lot

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

he doesn’t like rap or pop songs generally but will listen to them if someone puts them on, dunno about anything else. probably wouldn’t enjoy love stories if he read books tbh

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

he’d probably have a noticeable spring in his step if some good country music was on but otherwise not much. isn’t too interested in musicals.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

definitely patient! rarely ever loses his temper. if he does you probably did something god awful and he’s probably terrifying when angry. like it would shock everyone to see how we gets when he’s mad

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

probably some old sayings that nobody understands tbh. would probably insult someone to their face but doesn’t often if at all; he’s generally very nice.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

it’s pretty good yeah! he’s better with faces than he is with names.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

he goes to sleep pretty late and gets up pretty early; people wonder how he functions but it’s just how he is. his bed is pretty hard but it doesn’t bother him. it probably would bother someone if they ever came over and sat on it though.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

he thinks a lot of the antics his bulls get up to are hysterical and he also thinks it’s funny when they spook people, though he always does apologize for it. his sense of humor is pretty good and he’s always joking tbh, which really annoys some people *cough* easton *cough* but he tends to know when to stop.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

he generally hums or whistles but otherwise hides his emotions.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

bad things happening to his ranch/animals :( he might cry openly if he’s around someone he really trusts but otherwise he kinda keeps it to himself until he’s alone.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

losing people he loves, losing animals he loves; he’s not very easy to spook honestly. no one is really sure what he’s like when he’s scared until he has a reason to be afriad.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

super protective! he doesn’t want to be a jerk who holds peoples real fears over their heads just for a laugh >:( he’ll tease easton but not about fears. never about fears.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

he gets a pretty good workout from running his ranch and taking care of his animals. he enjoys it a lot.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

on and off yeah, he doesn’t get super drunk too often bc he has a Job to do. he’s probably grumbly and sleepy when hungover, just wants to cuddle and lay in bed for 18 hours. he probably takes care of people when they’re hungover and is generally pretty kind unless there’s a little something to tease them about.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

he dresses……… well,,, his jeans are generally dirty and have holes in them and he’s always got on a plaid shirt or something. he doesn’t buy new clothes often. he probably just wears boxers to sleep. his hair is usually pretty messy.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

boxers

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

he’s like 6 ft maybe? he pretty stronk and built kinda like a wall in some sense. he’s pretty happy with his body, yeah.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

dunno if he has one! he doesn’t really care what people think of him and will kind of just do whatever. doesn’t have a reason to hide things, i guess.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

he probably has a good singing voice! he doesn’t have too many hobbies bc a lot of his time is taken up by working his ranch. he’s good at doodling and will scribble some stuff sometimes when he feels like it.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

no

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

he admires things like sense of humor, wit, storytelling, and any sort of musical talent; he probably wants to have some weird talent that wouldn’t be useful in his situation - like juggling.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

he likes to write letters even though its considered super old-fashioned.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

he loves sugary food but doesn’t eat it too often. he’s pretty naturally awake and alert but will drink coffee or tea in the morning.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

uhhhh gay probably. he likes the traits i mentioned before, i don’t think he’s that picky otherwise. if u need a good example just *points at easton*

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

he kinda already achieved his goals but i guess his new goals aside from his ranch are like, helping easton and his crew with their problems. he doesn’t have any secret ambitions and he would sacrifice a lot of a lot of different things, he’s a very giving person.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

he’s religious but not like suuuper into it; like he’s still got beliefs and prays and stuff but otherwise nobody really knows that about him unless they ask him about his cross tattoo.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

summer! he likes the weather to be bright and sunny; he tolerates the cold but prefers it to be warm.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

it’s generally pretty similar

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

he’s not the best at first impressions and might say something stupid tbh but he Tries at least.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

he’s not a big fan of formal stuff. he’d wear a suit if he really had to but he doesn’t really enjoy it. he’ll chat with people are fancy parties just because it’s in his nature.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

he likes small parties with friends! at-home stuff where people just talk and laugh and drink and eat, y’know

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

he’s very sentimental but he doesn’t take much with him anywhere. i’m not sure what his most valued object would be, maybe some old gun or statuette his family gave him a long times ago or something.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

food and a map or smth, he’s not very good at travel stuff

#jay-noeyes #mack #long post #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #dude i forgot mack had a last name for like 10 minutes and then i opened his toyhou.se to look at his tats and i was like OHHH #*forgets stuff about my own oc who ive been thinkin about for the last few weeks* ALRIGHT #speakin #wamtag

[gh0stboy]

0 thru 44 my guy it seems you need a distraction lol

flsdfhjhd thanks m8 im gonna die doing this but im hype for it

0: Height

ya boi short im 5′1

1: Virgin?

take a guess man (look me in the eyes and tell me someone will tolerate this mess. try it)

2: Shoe size

6.5-8

3: Do you smoke?

sometimes with some people

4: Do you drink?

also a sometimes 

5: Do you take drugs?

haglkhdsag i get high w friends once in a while but Not Often Enough

6: Age you get mistaken for

probably 12

7: Have tattoos?

not yet!!!

8: Want any tattoos?

yesssss i wanna get a nice minimalist thing done of geryon done in red ink and i probably want a ramshackle glory tattoo of sorts

9: Got any piercings?

nope, somehow never even got my ears pierced 

10: Want any piercings?

yea but i dont know what i want

11: Best friend?

akljglaghlag all my friends are too good to choose

12: Relationship status

single as hell bud

13: Biggest turn ons

do we really truly want an answer to this bc i am a Hellscape

14: Biggest turn offs

being mean for no reason, ignoring boundaries, etc.

15: Favorite movie

ohhhhh jgjalgjlas fight club, legend, on the edge, girl interrupted, heathers, they look like people, nightmare on elm street, hellraiser.....

16: I’ll love you if

if you’re fuckin nice to me lmao

17: Someone you miss

all my idiot fuckin friends who live way too far from me

18: Most traumatic experience

do u want a play by play of my childhood what i can remember i mean

19: A fact about your personality

im a lot more excitable than i seem

20: What I hate most about myself

o h b u d d y uh.i hate how bad i tend to overshare

21: What I love most about myself

i really just own how much of a wreck i am yknow 

22: What I want to be when I get older

i’d like to be a director

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

one outta 3 aint bad eh

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

🙃 oh pal,,,,,,

25: My idea of a perfect date

take me out for coffee, a movie at home, a nice time at the park,,,just something chill u know

26: My biggest pet peeves

people who say they understand your problem/agree to help but then. Yeah

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

w

which one

really which one i have a crush on so many fucking people

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

80 year long tumblr vague post that t o t a l l y wasn’t petty and was d e f i n i t e l y factual lmao

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

im not being that bitch i swear but i can’t remember when i last lied to one of my friends purely bc im trying to remember

30: What I hate the most about work/school

people who dont do their job expecting me to be able to do mine even tho it directly hinges on them

31: What your last text message says

do dm’s count im saying they do

it’s just me bitching at z to charge his damn phone like a normal person

32: What words upset me the most

“asinine” “chattel” and certain other phrases that Say Too Much

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

“your eyebrows look good” “you look nice” “i love you” and the phrases that potentially come w it

34: What I find attractive in women

nice, likes cool stuff, tells me about their interests

35: What I find attractive in men

nice, likes cool stuff, exists in my direction

36: Where I would like to live

ireland or finland

37: One of my insecurities

my voice/what i say

38: My childhood career choice

i wanted to be a medical examiner

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

cheesecake!!

40: Who wish I could be

adam ant’s trophy husband uhhh i would love to be my vision for my future self

41: Where I want to be right now

bri’s house, chicago, south dakota, anywhere else my friends are/might be

42: The last thing I ate

a pack of fruit snacks

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

don’t make me make 2 adam ant jokes twice in a row

44: A random fact about anything

one time i read a post that said that introverts are adopted by extroverts (but i feel like i work in reverse bc i keep finding extroverts)

god i fucking finished it YEET 

#asks #this is 8 years long #sorry friends #time to suffer #Anonymous

[paul-patts-blog]

Lauryl’s Wishlist and Resolutions

Berlioz

More Music Stuff: I’ve gotten to do stuff with Ber/music in the past but a lot of it has been me rping with me and sending him to festivals and concerts. I’d like to see him interact with some of the musically-inclined people in town-- maybe even collaborate? I have some subgoals for this:

Go to concert/festivals with another character: I think rping an arc would be so fun and I personally love concerts/festivals so.

Produce someone else’s music: Ber will be starting uni and having school projects...he will need guinea pigs.

Write more music blog stuff: I’ve done very few, rather casual posts in the past about artists Ber likes-- reviews etc. I would love to post more of this (maybe even through BDRP radio? /looks at radio)

Anxiety Arc: I really want Ber to start learning about his anxiety and working through it. Specifically, he needs to go to a therapist, haha.

Sexuality: Ber’s come a long way since I got him, but he still feels majorly ‘out of place’ in the LGBTQIA community. I’d like to explore more of those feelings somehow. I got a few ideas. 

Kiara

Discover her passions!! Kiara doesn’t really know what she wants to do with her life and I want her to try a bunch of stuff as she figures it out. So does your character have a cool hobby? Let Kiara do that cool hobby with ur character!

Race and Identity: one important thing for me when I got Kiara and picked Halsey was dealing with her struggle with her appearance and how she felt ‘out of place’ with the Lyons and as a POC in general. I’d like to explore this conflict more.

Continue to deal with her issues: Kiara needs to keep going to therapy and she needs to admit to herself she has problems that she is denying please my daughter. 

Best Friend to lovers: I think this trope would be rly good for Kiara because too often she sees people as “romantic options’ first and not as the people they really are. I would love a slow burn romance for Kiara that surprises both her and me, really.

Hades (oh boy)

Re-learn how to use his powers-- and maybe the way to do this is to like.. do something heroic tbh? instead of always burning people up and fuckin’ everyone UP. Yeah, I want Hades to do something heroic. 

Leave Swynlake: I want Hades story to take him away from Swynlake and back again

Chester

Pending tbh you will all see

Milla

Board stuff: specifically, I’d like to see Milla start enacting new strictures for magicks. I’d love for her to try to manipulate this type of stuff through the other board members

Get a magical object or something magical: Whether through the Merlin’s objects or otherwise, I would love Milla to actually seek magic herself.

MILF Reigns Supreme: I love exploring Milla’s sexuality-- it’s one of my fave things that i’ve done with her. I’d love her to get more boy toys (maybe even girl toys) and tbh, I would be open, if it’s right, to have that relationship get more complicated than just sex.

Miscarriage: That being said, this is a rather dark storyline but Milla is obsessed with control and to miscarry would be-- the opposite of having control. Anyone up for it?

Nala

RP her more in general lmao

Get her more female friends!! She really doesn’t have a lot of good female relationships (part of that is because many of her relationships have ended up dropping). But Nala deserves more friendships

Take Nala on dates! I also want Nala to try to date a little. She’s so work-focused, like lots of my characters, so this would be a new side to her that I haven’t gotten to explore

Have Nala literally kick ass/para with some sort of physical/action element to it: Okay so we say it jokingly, but after Nala’s surgery and recovery I’d love for her to actually whoop somebody’s ass even if it’s just while going back to kickboxing. Nala’s identity as an athlete is super important to her-- whenever I write about Nala’s relationship to her body, I get chills, because she loves her body so much and is so centered in it. So it would be fun to do a physical-heavy para.

Smut tbh for the same reasons as i just said.

Milo

Also rp him more in general lmao

Finish merlin’s objects/write more essays

Finish Cave Excavation-- find a Merlin’s object

Desk sex

Wow these are all so specific unlike my others

Explore his sexuality: Milo is definitely somewhere on the ace spectrum  (gray, demi what have u) and so exploring that with his girlfriend Jane (maybe she’s into it one night, he’s not, she wants to try stuff that he doesnt’... u know, just those kinds of conversations) would be really complicated and fun. As someone who is on the ace spectrum myself, It’s also kind of important to me to try to honor that side of him and acknowledge it in play-- along WITH the smut.

Slay a demon/be a hero: ok bc just think about nerdy milo thatch with his glasses all askew having accidentally saved the day. I love it.

Kiki

Get kidnapped: Kiki has powerful magic blood come get her

Break her broom

Best Friends to lovers/ slow burn romance: mentioning this for kiki too, since Kiki hasn’t been kissed ever and is very romantic, I’d love to play out a good ol’ teen romance with someone. But consideirng Kiki’s crazy hectic life, yeah, it’s gonna have to really evolve.

Rajah

TIGER OUT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE: For whatever reason-- to save them or because he’s scared or stressed or loses control.

Get injured: That being said, I’d love to have Raj get shot or get hurt while trying to do his job, mostly because Raj is a charge first, ask questions later type of guy but also because-- since he heals faster-- if he’s in the hospital, it could give him away. (Can anyone say hospital bREAK)

More friends! Raj has a few, but he needs 2 get out more smh

Introduce Jyoti to people: I want his little sister to come see him and I want Raj to have people to introduce her to! Jyoti will bring a lot of the past back to Raj’s life which he currently keeps super hidden.

Anita:

Biwakening. Make it happen.

Night on the town

One night stand tbh

Dating around-- specifically, blind date/double date with someone this would be hiLARIOUS for me

Stand up to someone (tbh Cruella)

Anita Explores Her Painting: Anita doesnt’ take her talent seriously and I want that to change. I’d love to do some more stuff with her art including--

Nude portraits anyone?

Anita teaches fingerpainting!! Anita gets her very own income and is thus empowered thru painting !!! ah!

Paint fight :D

More Volunteering: what i like about anita is that though she is an introvert, she loves to be involved in her community. If you have any town projects or somethin’ you need volunteers for, ask Anita!!

The Great Prince

Also get into a physical fight of some kind; i’d love for him to defend the forest or Bambi or somethin’ as the deer. I think RPing that would be really fun for me

Explore more areas of the forest: I’ve already started to invent some parts of the forest as I go, but I’d like to try to see if I can’t put Prince in some of these deeper parts. If your character wants to get lost in the woods-- hit me up.

Make more human connections/get in touch with his human side: Hopefully, Prince will be in town more and can make friends with people who are not animals haha.

Explore comic timing/situations with the Prince! The Prince doesnt’ know a lot about the human world-- like how to work technology-- so i want to put him in more situations where he is totally out of his element. The best way to do this will probably be with “The Great Prince Vs. Human-thing-here” starters. Be on the look out. (Or if u really want to have ur character help my poor deer son, message me).

Paul Pongo Patts

Okay he’s my newest babe so these r kinda repetitive from his app--

Start studying to maybe get into uni maybe ahhh my babe

Let himself go on dates: Paul kind of thinks that part of his life is over now that he has kids and he feels kind of guilty about that kind of stuff and so  I want him to go easy on himself. He deserves a night out and to feel like he is handsome, young and romantic bc darling u ARE handsome young and romantic.

That being said-- get wooed. Paul is a woo-er. Someone woo my woo-er.

Also mend things with Perdita/ rp them growing back together as friends and as two people who respect and care for each other and maybe-- just maybe-- lovers again.

DAD THINGS-- shopping for his kids, dealing with baby spit-up, babyproofing his apartment wow im like turned on by this lauryl calm ur eggs

Interact with Magicks: All KINDS of magicks please throw them at Paul

Consider illegal means of getting money… Paul has grown up around shady ppl and has since stayed clean of shady business himself. But that doesnt’ mean he doesn’t feel temptations. I’d like to exploooore those temptations.

My Character’s Personal Resolutions: 

Ber: “Don’t fuck up...anything.” 

Kiara: “lol” (tbh kiara is so lowkey depressed she liek?? has no resolutions help her) 

Hades: “Fix my mistakes.” 

Chester: pending

Milla: “Make Swynlake Great Again”

Milo: “Spend as much time as I can with Jane.”

Nala: “Get the Lyons Foundation off the ground / kick my physical therapy in the ass / be running by spring”

Rajah: “Repair things with my family. Live honestly-- be proud of who I am.” (ow raJJJ)

Kiki: “Make my family proud. Make Howl proud.” (ughh)

Anita: “Cause no more harm.” 

The Great Prince: “Be there for my son if he will have me.” 

Paul: “Be the greatest dad / provide for my kids.” 

#bdrptask #bdrptasks #i always forget which one tbh

[sovtwords]

i just read you found me and bestie 😳 i sat here for a good three and a half hours and read the whole thing in one go AND IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT !! kind of a rant ahead so i’m sorry in advance hehe

the whole story was so beautifully thought out and i absolutely fell in love w each person’s characterization. the time atsumu frowned when he saw lilies on mcs desk flew over my head but i later on noticed and gasped so loud my dog woke up LOL i just realized you never used y/n (right or did i just never notice) and i think you are powerful for that. it just gives the mc more freedom and room to be interpreted in whatever way while still maintaining a personality that fits the story. also himari’s my absolute fave and she’s best girl sorry i dont make the rules

in you should have found me my heart absolutely broke for osamu because it’s so clear how different the twins reaction would be depending on who got the girl. osamu was always a bit more selfless in general but in that fic the way it was established that even years later atsumu would still be affected by it just screams ab how different they really are. i hope osamu got a happy ending w someone he loves and loves him back, he deserves it

the whole thing was a ride, the way that there was so much push and pull and frustration made me scream omg. the situation with tomi was so stressful and nobody should have to go with that kind of abuse (bc it is abuse no matter how anyone looks at it! and i love that you recognized it as so) and blackmail. the fact that mc didnt blame atsumu for getting with tomi because she too was with someone else (fuck daishou and mika too lw i thought she was cooler than that 😡) so its nice that she didnt outright blame him, bc i sure as hell would LOL but anyway. the way that these two felt so strongly ab each other and were so patient and still loved each other thru all the shit theyve gone thru makes me so happy bc a love like that is so pure

high school tsumu was a little shit and he (respectfully) needed to get decked but the way that he learned and did better and even tried to make tomi realize that too was much needed and appreciated. the thing with this fic tho is that no one can really blame anyone for how they acted (except tomi and daishou like cmon man do better) bc its so raw and human of them. atsumu was young and in love but didnt know it and was terrified of what everyone would think of him, which is valid esp bc his whole life, people have been telling him that osamu is the better twin with a better personality and whatnot. and you cant blame mc for leaving bc getting bullied like that and having the one person you trust turn their back on you hurts

still my heart absolutely goes out to osamu. i saw somewhere that atsumu is the one who gets seen and osamu is the one who is liked, so they both have this underlying resentment (i dont think thats the right word. jealousy?) to each other. bc when you heard miya youd think of atsumu but once they got to know both twins, it’s osamu they like. i feel like osamu is more known as atsumu’s twin sometimes bc he’s just the one thats more out there, yk? but atsumu just being grateful for osamu made me so happy and osamu being happy for his twin and mc made me even happier even tho he was hurting inside. give him a happy ending im begging you my tiny heart hurts after you should have found me pls tell me he’s happy and moved on

also let’s all thank yuta for getting along w mc to begin w LOL he’s second best after himari 😌 bokuroo dynamic was a much needed addition and i love them more than anything, same vibes as hanamattsun like chaotic gay bros who’d tear down the earth for the ones they love 😪

i feel like i still have so much left to say but this is already super long and im sorry for that. you found me is now one of my fave fics (probs my fave atsumu fic i loved it that much) ever and im so grateful you took the time to write it. thanks for the journey and im looking forward to your fics (im gonna binge rn 😈) and future works! stay hydrated <3

BESTIE EYE- KASJAASUDFHYAS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START BECAUSE I'M CRYING

Firstly thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a long and detailed message with such kind words, i literally did not stop smiling the entire time I was reading it oml i was so giddy reading it

I'm so glad you caught onto those little tidbits i left in the story, i tried to have meaning in every tiny details so it makes me happy that you caught onto them! And you're right! I didn't use Y/N in the story at all, or any of my stories! I kinda feel at times using anything like Y/N or (name) feels a bit clunky? It kinda takes me out of the story, so I try not to include it in my stories at all, and either use a nickname or nothing! ALSO I'M SO HAPPY YOU LOVED HIMARI AND YUTA!!

Your analysis of how different the twins are and their dynamic with each other in not only HQ but my fic is just CHEFS KISS MWAH it's so good and you really hit the nail on the head. Like you said they're both winners in different ways; Atsumu is the star boy who gets noticed for his talent and charisma but Osamu is the better liked twin in the end because of his personality and calm nature. I think the twins are just so interesting to write about that way, how they love differently and approach life dasjfhasd will definitely write more with the two of them in the future

I really screwed over Osamu in 'I should have found you', didn't I? LOL I need to do my boy some justice in future stories i write, whether they're related to You Found Me or not. But rest assured he had a happy ending regardless of whether he's in a relationship or not! He's taking life step by step and finding success in his job and with his friends! <3

I guess the thing I wanted to focus on in this fic is that everyone goes through some sort of struggle in some way. Even someone like cocky, hotheaded atsumu feels the weight of pressure and to act a certain way because its expected of him. He may not have dealth with it well at first (he was a kid tbf!) but what matters is how he grows from the hurt and learns how to do right the second time. I am a sucker for 'right people, wrong time' tropes after all hahaha everybody deals with shit, so it's important that they all found someone to lean on

I don't ship much but Bokuroo is my SHIT i just love really stupid bros that are in love and every day is a wild ride, like matsuhana too ajhsdfhsd

Seriously, thank you so much for even reading my fic, let alone sending such a sweet message. I'm beyond happy that you loved it, and to call it one of your fave fics just makes my head explode LMAO

I do hope you enjoy the other fics (trash) I write, my mind goes in a million directions and I can only hope ppl understand what i write HAHAHA

THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE, I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY <33333

#anon ask #answered #you found me #lovely words #thank you so much #i'm crying