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kellinrk800 · 3 years

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toko fukawa comphet no i don’t take criticism

nobody will even see this because my account just. doesnt get traction but here have a ramble abt toko’s backstory and how much i firmly believe her attraction was comphet.

spoilers for thh, sdr2 and udg

tw// ab/se, n/glect, severe bullying

toko was severely neglected and unwanted when she was a child. she grew up with two mothers and one father due to both sleeping with the same man and neither wanting their child which caused her to be mistreated. once she was locked in a closet and forced to stay there for three days without food. clearly, she grew up in a household completely devoid of healthy love. genocide jack’s development was likely a response to cope with the traumatic experiences.

her time in elementary was no different. in third grade, she was used as a scapegoat for stolen money and her classmates tied her to the jungle gym with a garden hose as punishment.

her first real “love” was with a boy who she had been friends with since elementary but when she finally confessed through a letter, she found it pinned to the bulletin board to mock her. this was genocide jack’s first kill, leading me to believe that her murders were actually a form of protection.

on one occasion (and most likely more considering her difficult relationship with understanding rejection) she was ghosted halfway through on a date after spending three days and nights planning it so that she would not mess it up. she later found out that the boy only asked her out because he lost a bet.

the most likely only healthy representation of love she ever has was through media, which is arguably extremely heteronormativity and the actual healthiness of how relationships are presented in media is debatable.

she internalised all of these things happening to her and believed she deserved them somehow, building her inferiority complex. she began to assume that people only expected bad of her and self victimises herself almost on instinct despite her nature to express opinions without care for others most of the time. her self esteem is extremely low and she often worries about being considered an “old hag” in ultra despair girls.

toko fell in love with the idea of love, not an actual person. at some point she turned to novels and writing as a way to express her emotions and she used that passion to create works of art through her novels and created a toxic idolisation of the perfect relationship with nothing but media, her family’s relationships and her past experiences to go off.

she began to let herself get hurt and internalise it which ended up building her inferiority complex even further to the point of becoming unhealthily infatuated with anyone she saw fit as a stand in for the dreamy perfect people that made her books succeed.

time and time again genocide jack and toko were mistreated in their relationships, causing their system to suffer greatly. jack began to kill anyone toko saw fit as a perfect romantic interest to protect them both, but this most likely caused her own mental health to decline as well, leading to the aggressive, startling and manic personality we saw in the games.

toko began to both idolise and fear falling in love. while she knew they would most likely be killed and she would have to cope with knowing that the police could come knocking any day if they put the pieces together, she also still purposed her life around being in a perfect relationship because it was now causing her to gain traction through her novels.

this only furthered her unhealthy infatuation with relationships. she became determined to find a man who fit her description of the perfect man and would not mislead, use, mock or hurt toko in hopes that he would not be killed and she would finally achieve her dream.

enter byakuya togami. blonde, blue eyed, rich, cold and most importantly, entirely unattainable. he was an ideal stand in, especially considering the circumstances of the killing game (jack’s unique killing style would immediately be found out). she was able to fantasise from afar without ever really getting as severely hurt as she had in the past because he simply did not care to provide her his attention.

jack had two options. kill byakuya and get executed, or suck it up. clearly you can tell which option she chose. in addition, she had all of her memories from prior to the game which most likely slightly numbed her thirst for blood. by the end of ultra despair girls, she has grown a respect for toko, a softness for komaru and even calmed jack down to the point where it’s suggested that she no longer uses her skills to murder but instead fight despair.

in fact, near the end, toko is acutely aware of what is happening despite the fact jack was fronting (they don’t usually share memories, only emotions), suggesting they may have slightly integrated but i don’t really want to make assumptions considering i do not have did and am not educated enough to speak confidently about did.

ironically, the killing game was actually good for both of their mental health’s. i’ll only be talking about toko but in ultra despair girls she was emotionally stronger and more mature. she believed she finally had a purpose other than romance and that she could fight against all odds. she even credits makoto for her newfound courage. she criticises cowards and those that remind her of her past self. she is willing to challenge her fears.

komaru had an amazingly powerful and positive effect on them both. her softness, optimism and empathy help toko’s character develop even further. when komaru tries to give in to despair, toko encourages her to face her fears. toko, who was before extremely afraid and uncomfortable with being touched, is now willing to comfort and even hug komaru. she claims she’s finally found a true friend (that’s actually human, can’t forget kameko the stinkbug) and that she found hope in her.

komaru admires toko and doesnt really mind her split personality, instead just considering it “a bit strange”, which is a noticeable difference from how she was treated by everyone else for it. toko is protective of komaru during chapter two due to her suspicion of shirokuma. later, they even sleep in the same bed.

however, when toko risks komaru’s life for byakuya, they get into an argument in which toko accuses komaru of manipulating her with terms such as “friends”, which leads to komaru showing that she really does trust her.

later, this arguably resolved after servant forces jack and toko to fight against komaru for byakuya. they fight back against servant and komaru forgives her because they are friends, which makes toko extremely happy, so much that she blushed and admits she has never had a real friend before. she thanks komaru genuinely for the first time and they try to become real friends.

toko swears she will help komaru with anything she can’t do by herself, just like komaru would do for her.

toko even stays by her side to the point of rejecting the opportunity of going to future foundation to stay with komaru :)

in the end of danganronpa goodbye despair, which is set after ultra despair girls, kyoko reminds byakuya that someone is waiting for him and he jokes that she shouldn’t remind him of “something so horrifying”. and honestly i think the fact he was able to joke about it shows that perhaps toko and byakuya found a somewhat healthy relationship as friends, acquaintances, or even just bearing eachother’s presence.

a notable addition that didn’t really fit anywhere else is toko’s scrapped execution. “first kiss prank” is the title and it consists of byakuya running towards her before toko gets hit by a roller. that says enough about her biggest fears and how badly her past memories affected her.

in conclusion, toko fukawa’s obsession with byakuya was comphet due to pressure from the media and her toxic ideals. the fact she was able to form a healthy relationship with komaru is hhh and i could talk about them for hours. tokomaru is the second closest thing we have to inmedia stated canon (fuck kodaka’s statement me and the homies hate kodaka’s statement about naegiri /j)

sources: toko fukawa’s fandom wiki, genocide jack’s fandom wiki, free time events, transcripts

#danganronpa #toko fukawa #fukawa toko #touko fukawa #fukawa touko #tokomaru #syomaru #toukomaru #trigger happy havoc #ultra despair girls #character analysis #in which i am unhealthy obsessed with toko fukawa

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agent-cupcake · 3 years

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you ever thought abt writing about if Dimitri's feral side didn't go away? or maybe one where the only way he stops being feral around others is if he, ahem, takes his frustrations out on Y/N

I might have talked about this before but I can't remember for the life of me so, sorry if I'm being repetitive.

I don't have any plans in particular for writing this but I like thinking about Dimitri never fully recovering and just becoming somewhat more functional and all of the many disastrous ways it could change the way he has relationships.

~Like, if Dimitri realizes that the best way to get revenge on Edelgard is to engage in the war strategically. Not because he sees the error of his ways, just the error of his methods.

~This would be a Dimitri who becomes aware that his delusions aren't real, who realizes he can't go on as he is, but isn't able to reconcile with his issues or the dead. His campaign is no longer about those he has lost but those impulses, that madness that drove him to such extremes in the name of the dead, remains. He's sane enough to fight against that side of himself, just not very successfully.

~To that end, he takes the feral, primal rage and misery that compelled him for so long and refocuses it.

~Dimitri's Crest is tied to the Major Arcana Justice and that becomes his driving motivation.

~His army retakes Fhirdiad, the first step in canon!Dimitri's recovery, but instead of remaining calm and using it as a moment of character growth, he brutally tears Cornelia apart on sight. The men come to admit to their treason and he orders their deaths. There is not any cruelty he will spare those who are opposite what he sees as just, this Savior King Dimitri.

~And, yes, Dimitri takes on the mantle of King, he vows to fight for his people rather than the dead, but it's more so because he needs some way to alleviate the pressure of his aggressive urges, because that is the burden of madness he feels he must now pursue. But that's the way of war, isn't it? That is what's necessary.

~Whatever pain it causes, whatever cost it asks of him, he willingly accepts as retribution. This is not a man who is asking for forgiveness or is attempting to better himself, he still views himself in the incredibly negative way he does through the first few chapters of the timeskip, he just deals with it differently.

~When he kills Edelgard and finally gets the revenge he was pursuing, Dimitri realizes that it does nothing for him. His mania, his rage, his insanity still haunts him.

~And, okay, even though he's horribly unapproachable and snaps at people, spends an uncomfortable amount of time training (brutalizing the poor training dummies), and is held together by duct tape and a prayer, Dimitri is somebody who so horribly desperately wants love and validation.

~You give it to him because of course you do, you fool.

~But, at even the faintest whiff of this affection, he taints it with his unresolved mess of emotions after realizing that revenge couldn't fix him and ends up hyper fixating on you as an object to fill the vacuum left by his fixation on Edelgard because he is a messy man with messy feelings.

~So he's not "feral" exactly, but he never actually recovered or figured out a way to deal with his emotions in a healthy way. This is exacerbated by his lack of a support system. I don't doubt that his friends would support him given that he's a competent ruler and I think it would still be in their best interest to help him but his constantly shifting moods and single-mindedness towards some not-so-savory endeavors would make him quite uncomfortable even without being feral. Felix would probably give up his title and run away similar to his non-AM endings.

~So, basically, Dimitri clings to you even tighter because at least you're not going to leave him.... Right?

~I suppose this entire (far too complicated) scenario is just laid out to highlight issues I already see him having.

~Dimitri would have a white-knuckle grip on you because of his terror of losing someone precious to him.

~His anger would bubble up given even the slightest hint of losing the few things he feels keep him stable, or at having his justice challenged.

~Unlike canon!Dimitri, you wouldn't get very much in the way of emotional vulnerability. Not expressed through words, at least. He'd make his devoted desperation clear in other ways.

~He'd be so paranoid, which is another big deviation from canon!Dimitri because I don't think he would trust you very much at all and would be a lot less likely to give you the benefit of the doubt if he began to think something was going on.

~While it's not like I think he'd go full boar on you physically, he wouldn't be that great about controlling his strength. You think you're going to leave him? Hah, good luck when you can't even walk the next morning.

~Everything about this version of Dimitri would be so much more intense than what could be considered even slightly rational. In general, he's already an intense person, but his driving, unrelenting need would become suffocating and excessive, constantly flip-flopping from aggressively possessive to fanatical devotion.

~I've never thought that Dimitri would be a particularly sexually driven person (more that he'd care about his partner's needs over his own needs), but I do think that his need for physical intimacy would be persistent and ravenous enough to make a case for it in this instance.

~He would rely on you a lot more to help manage his moods and emotions and ground him when he needed it, so it'd be insanely emotionally unbalanced. You'd basically be Dimitri's emotional keeper. Not in the cute emotional support way, but in the scary "it is your responsibility to ensure that the King doesn't have a mental breakdown" sort of way.

#fire emblem three houses #fe3h #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe dimitri #headcanons #this is a mess i just start thinking about dimitri as his worst self abusing me and lose my mind a little #also i'm going to be traveling the next few days so i should be packing but you know what #exploiting a mans mental illness for my personal gain is essentially the brand now

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janexeu · 3 years

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though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia

seeing gods in dreams — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!

OTHER INFO

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ? the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

#euintro

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slaughtergutz · 4 years

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I NEED to know more abt the dear Vigo boi and spiky goth Aquarius. May or may mot have a crush on both of them ; w ;

TIME FOR SOME PARAGRAPHS [tw: child abuse, cult mention, death; ask to tag for other things that i might miss]

ALRIGHT SO Virgo boy is Judas Punch. He usually just goes by Jude.

Born in 1970 to a well-off family in Los Angeles, Jude’s older sister, Michelle, was secretly a huge Manson groupie. After a particularly intense LSD trip while listening to The White Album, the song Hey Jude came up and she took it as a sign. As he began to grow older, she started grooming him for her vision of Helter Skelter, to carry on Manson’s work.

November 16, 1978 was scheduled for Manson’s parole hearing, and that, she believed, would be the perfect time to send a message.

Jude, in the meantime, has been a worry for his family. He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t like eye contact. He moves very strangely--born with hypermobility, he bends very easily and comfortably, and this worries his mother. He’s had three exorcisms, none of which seemed to have helped any. That doesn’t even cover what sort of things his sister has been having him do. His twin brother doesn’t seem to have half of the problems he does and is much more well adjusted.

But he’s smart, and learns quickly. What Michelle does, it makes him feel bad, and he doesn’t want to do what she’s making him do. For tomorrow, she explains, when she tells him to, he needs to give this knife to their neighbors, right in their belly as hard as he can. But he knows that won’t feel good, because his back and forehead still hurt where it kissed him. He doesn’t like being bossed around, and he doesn’t like her.

So the night before the hearing, Jude kills his sister. It seemed to be the right thing to do, why didn’t anybody else understand that?

Jude spends the next five years in a mental institution, receiving no real help and no support from his family. Eventually he is shipped off to the east coast, to a small town called Pockmark. Unsuspecting though it may look, they boast one of the best institutions in the country, specializing in music therapy.

There, Jude is finally able to open up and takes up various instruments quickly. They help him organize his thoughts and keep his hands busy. And eventually, there, he meets an obnoxious punk rocker named Sisco who won’t stop asking him to join his band. Jude’s therapist says it might help his social skills. Whatever. Jude doesn’t really care, but relents as it gives him a chance to challenge himself musically. He still can’t stand listening to the Beatles. Other tidbits: He’s in the closet because he’s seen the sort of trauma Sisco has gone through and he doesn’t want to go through that himself. He’s also clairvoyant and sees white crows nearby people who are about to die, and can otherwise speak to the dead. Nobody ever believed him, of course, so he doesn’t talk about it. Corinne’s the only one that really believes him. He can seem airheaded sometimes because he often experiences missing time. --------------------------------------------- AND AQUARIUS, that would be Xenon. Born 1952 as Adam [Redacted], he had medical complications from early on. Albinism was the most apparent but due to developing alopecia, he was completely hairless by the age of 10, which also affected his immune system. Xen was in and out of hospitals from various illnesses through most of his life, in addition to be very serious and introverted, left him with few friends. He bonded closest with other black sheep, his best friends being beatniks and those in the freak scene.

He was only in the sixth grade for a week before falling horribly sick once again, and was stuck in the hospital for the rest of the year. Two of his classmates, however, would visit him daily. They were outcasts too. Dmitri, Beatrice, and Adam were inseparable.

They didn’t bother to wait for graduation to pack up and run away to New York City. It may not have been any more accepting of them than other places, but they had ways of getting work, and it was much more exciting than a small town. And more dangerous. Especially for three young queer kids.

On June 28th, 1969, a police raid on Stonewall Inn turned into a riot. All three of them spent the night in jail.

After that, Adam and Dmitri became less hidden about their relationship. Beat got in the most trouble usually for being both an outspoken Black Panther supporter and an outspoken feminist lesbian. But the two men stood behind her every step of the way.

Dmitri eventually founded a wildly successful underground zine called Fantasy Planet, which showcased queer models (like Adam) and queer art and literature (with many contributions made by Beat.) In their off-time, Adam and Beat were apprenticing as a piercer and tattoo artist respectively.

With a supportive network and community, Adam was finally able to explore parts of himself he ignored before. His gender. His sexuality. His humanity. Morals, worldviews, politics, ideas, purpose. Around this time, he began to go by Xenon, taken from the noble gas. On occasion he would publish articles and stories under this new name before using it in public. Many of the characters in his stories were alien, and used new and ungendered pronouns. It was safe to do so, in fiction. And it was safe to do so, at home, when it was just the three of them.

Hard drugs weren’t uncommon in the scenes they frequented. They didn’t have a name for what killed Dmitri. It was pneumonia, they were told.

Xen completely shut himself away and became solely focused on his own work. The remaining two left NYC and opened up a shop in a small town called Pockmark in PA. Dmitri’s grandmother lived there and she needed to be taken care of. She raised him. It was the least he could do. And, despite how bigoted the townsfolk could be, there was a growing market for body modification. Their most frequent visitor was a man named Billy, and his entourage. He often visited from Crater City. There were rumors he had mob ties. Nothing Xen wasn’t familiar with. His only concern was the boy who followed him around. A young orphan they called Francis who couldn’t have been older then thirteen. Not stepping in sooner ended up being one of his greatest regrets. (But don’t worry, he sort of made up for it by being the only person to visit him in the hospital after the fire. He’s basically his dad now.) Other tidbits: One of Xen’s most hardcore body modifications was the removal of his nipples and genitals. He also has the majority of his body tattooed and, being a huge fan of the movie Alien, has a heavy biomechanical theme. He considers himself to exist outside of gender and being human. After Dmitri’s death, Xen and Beat became legally married--in case either died, the other would be able to get their assets. They love each other deeply but platonically. Beat frequently dates other women (though not as much in the small town), while Xen does not. If he had the words we have today he would call himself asexual and aromantic. (He was in love with Dmitri and found no reason to continue romantic exploits after his death.) While he is a father figure to Sisco especially, he also very much plays a mentor role for Jude as the two are rather similar (introverted, serious, and both contenders for being the King of Deadpan Humor.)

#judas punch #jude #xen #beat #barnum's lot #the deadbeats #the dead beats #dead*beats #oc #ocs #bios #writing #there's also some stuff im not reveling yet until i get get the comic out ofc #also if it wasn't clear Francis and Sisco are the same person. full name: Francisco.#they forced him to go by Francis because they thought it would make him seem more white and easier to be adopted #that worked not at all #nasti imagines

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mrlenes · 5 years

Text

“Downworlder,” the demon breathed, and touched his long, spidery fingers to Simon’s cheek. “You must have had a heart that beat so strong in you, when it still beat.”

marlene mckinnon is nineteen years old and she is a member of the order of the phoenix. the pureblood is a former gryffindor and was from the class of 1978. she is a dragonologist and looks like maría gabriela de faría.

welp it’s 6:19 am why am i this way but hello it is jane again !! marlene is someone i’ve played a bunch, but it’s been a while since i’ve played with a different history, so i’m still ironing out a few kinks but i’m v v excited!! (also despite what the quote up there may imply, a) i do not like cassandra clare as a person and b) marlene isn’t a vampire fhkjsahjkasfkhj i just like the sentiment of it for her very much)

marls is the same age as the marauders & lily, but she’s a july kid so she’s still to have her birthday —- july 21, 1960 (cancer-leo cusp, and we’re going to pretend that her moon is in sagittarius and her rising is in aries (truthfully i have no idea what her moon & rising would be factually so we’re just... gonna direct the stars fhjksfdhj))

the cusp is excellent for her, because the warring nature of the two signs makes a mess, which is a good description of this lil miss!

x: Cancer is a water sign ruled by the moon, and possesses cardinal traits. On the other hand, Leo is a fire sign ruled by the sun and possesses fixed traits. The sun is associated with masculine energy and is symbolic of daytime, while the moon is associated with the feminine energy and represents nighttime. Fire and water, sun and moon, sensitivity and fierceness, masculine and feminine energies... it all builds into marlene mckinnon, a girl built of empathy & war, with a penchant for night time & wild things

also re: her bday, she’s due to die the day before she turns 21 bc we love smiling

sibling death tw // ok!! marlene was the youngest of five for almost all of her life, but about 5 years ago, when she was in fifth year (i think), her parents adopted a four year old boy named wren, who’s now nine. she had four older siblings: johnny (29), tommy (27), lorraine (24), matthew (22). johnny was in gryffindor, order member, died (possibly saving marlene & someone else on a mission) ; the others are tentatively still alive, though they slowly get killed off during the war, until it’s just marlene & wren & her parents that fateful night at the mckinnon residence (july 20 1981) of Death™. // end death tw

POTENTIAL CONNECTION/WANTED CHARACTERS: i would absolutely love her siblings around, any of them. i’m semi-flexible abt the names & fully flexible abt when or how they die (if we’re following canon, my only request is that some die before the 20th of july and nobody survives after it) —- all of her older siblings are adopted. i was thinking tommy (& johnny) were taken in after tragedy struck their parents, who were either sibling or cousin to one of marls’ parents (chants: sean teale! sean teale!), but that’s just an idea. i’m rly open to anything, and i’m down for some to have been biologically full-siblings to marls (preferably matty or lorraine, though) if you have a fitting fc in mind, but otherwise!! i would love any of them, and while i do have some ideas (mostly broad strokes —- johnny as the guidance, lorraine as the beating heart), i’m genuinely just really keen to have any of them around and am super open to talking abt anything that you might want to change!!

ok back to marls

youngest of five for most of her life, now scored a kid brother whom she’d do anything for (she thinks) (she hasn’t exactly had to test it) and four elder siblings whom she loves completely and who were instrumental in how she grew up —- surrounded with love and people who protected her even as they challenged her. ( who’s that back there, trailing after tommy and lorraine —? little marlene mckinnon, tiny fists balled up as she marches behind them — where’s she gone now, the little rascal —? oh, up that tree, get down from there, no not by jumping merlin fuck — )

her siblings are all pretty different from each other & johnny was the only one in gryffindor and he’s a completely different kind of gryffindor than marls. whilst both had that same good heart at their core, johnny was noble and brave and an excellent leader, and marlene has always preferred being a second, being there to back someone up (she’s never been good at letting people go in alone) & was something impulsive and daring. between her siblings, she learned how to fight, how to trust, how to land and, possibly most importantly, how to fly

hogwarts shenanigans

marlene was a chaser at hogwarts, but she’s always been a slightly better flier than player. she’s never been particularly focused on getting goals —- her talent and interest was always in setting up the goals, in the daring of diving for the quaffle, in the speed and risk of rocketing across the pitch to get the quaffle to one of her teammates to score. she likes racing to get the quaffle, and setting it up, like the gameplay dynamics of the chasers working in tandem to get the quaffle down to the other end of the pitch. she’s always been fast, that’s the thing about marlene mckinnon: on the ground or in the air, she’s always been quicker than you can believe. quite possibly was the fastest player in the school, but that in no way translates to the best — her personal vote for that is james, though she acknowledges the skill of others such as gwenog jones, lucinda talkalot, ludo bagman and emma vanity for the one year she saw her play. a good player, she thinks, tends to be a little better-rounded, and not only has good instincts, but also good insight, and an ability to both strategise and to take direction. marlene’s flying is often characterised by the risks she’ll take — as well as her creative moves, like the mckinnon flash — and under leadership she disliked, it probably wouldn’t end as well. however, she trusted, respected and loved james, and she was very happy to have him as a captain.

appalling at herbology and potions

like, awful

in second year, she once had a situation with these magical vines that attacked her, and that pretty much sums up her entire herbology career & then potions is terrible because of the fiasco that is her focus

she managed to scrape a high enough grade to get into it at newt level, thanks purely to her wonderful friends who managed to get her studying on track enough, but then she dropped it in seventh year — she’d kept at it because it’s necessary for a few career paths, and many of her friends, she knew, focused on it because it was a requirement for aurordom, but she had an inkling that aurordom would actually be a poor choice for her, especially given how little she trusted the ministry, and by the time she was starting seventh year, she had decided to drop it (despite her father being a member of the wizengamot & one of her brothers being involved somewhat in the ministry, the trust was.... not present fdshjsdfahjk)

on the other hand, she loved comc

comc, dada and charms were her three best subjects, and she was v good at all three of them

dragons!!! she spent her time in history of magic classes drawing up schematics about how they could obtain dragons, manticores and other xxxxx creatures

she quite liked history of magic, though it’s v selective bc she can only focus on the elements which interest her

she’s got a lot of thoughts on the treatment of lycanthropes by the wizarding society (they’re not positive thoughts lmao bc the treatment of werewolves and other part-humans is so terrible; she has a lot of thoughts about the registration system, and its initial purpose and what it’s used for now, and also beyond werewolves, the treatment of vampires and other part-humans) and she had them prior to her discovery of remus’ “furry little problem” but they’ve certainly not subsided since

general (this is all over the place i’m sorry)

empathetic and it can be a real problem for her honestly?

also, she’s not very good at letting go emotionally? she’s absolutely capable of caring about someone and not endorsing or forgiving them, but she tends to carry people around in her heart and under her skin forever and that’s an immensely difficult thing for her to try shake or even address

bad at processing emotions, like,,, so bad LMAO

she really needs to talk things through to make sense of her emotions but does she? not that often! a good example of this is when johnny died & she didn’t rly process it well bc she considered it her fault & therefore didn’t want to waste people’s time talking abt it which.... marlene pls

a v tactile & physical person, so she’s often shown affection that way (when people are okay with that) but also means that when she wants a distraction, she often craves physical connection (but also like, in hogwarts and stuff, before the war Really Hit her day-to-day life, kissing and sex and the like were just kind of... a fun and good natured end to some shenanigans & she never considered it more than that & it wasn’t even really a distraction, it was just... a natural evolution to some of her nights —- whereas now, sometimes it’s a v genuine distraction) —- sometimes that just looks like sitting w a friend in their kitchen in the quiet of the night, drinking until they can’t see the reflection of people they couldn’t save in each others’ eyes anymore, but sometimes it’s Touch. truly just being in people’s presence, particularly the presence of her friends & people she trusts, just... rly helps her

really really good for a fun time though!! hit her up for shenanigans always

loves sugar quills, like so much,,, eats sugar quills like most people breathe

does Not Like cats or birds

diehard for her friends

she’s very much led by emotions, and when those are conflicting, it can be a situation — but she tries, and she has a good heart, and when it comes down to it, she’ll always do what she thinks is right, even if it can be a messy road to getting there

she laughs a lot, idk, she’s not rly one to back down from a fight but her general state of being is probably more quips and laughter

and going off above abt how she’s a pretty physical person — she just always has been, running around the grounds when she was younger, being so involved with quidditch when she was older, and things being tangible are really grounding for her? it’s also sort of how her reflexes work best — she can duel, absolutely, but she’s also pretty good in a physical fight

not v good at defensive or healing magic though so if any of her friends want to help her out w/ that, hmu!! esp if your character wants to get more proficient at physical fighting as well, marls is defs down to help w/ that! i’m hoping like... it’s been a year and a half, i would hope she’s better now at defensive and healing magic, but she’s still never going to be Great so that’s always connections fodder

after graduating, she went into magizoology!! she just... rly fucking loves magical creatures

her focus is on dragons

she lived.... somewhere after hogwarts, and then some time later (6-12 months ago) she and mary moved in w alice after frank and her split up

marlene’s empathetic & angry abt it

v good at shades of grey, not so good at black and white —- you know when harry and ron save draco from fiendfyre, and it’s like... harry insists they have to save them, and then ron punches draco in the face later? marlene is Both. she’ll try save you — risk herself to save you, even if you don’t deserve it — but she’ll be Mad abt it & happily deck you later ( she’s not exactly mad about saving people, or trying to, she’s more mad at herself for it some days )

joined the order straight out of hogwarts

sits on benches at 2am eating cake batter

rly good at making breakfast food, less good at proper food

she will come to ur flat / ur always welcome wherever she’s living to pop in at 2am after an order mission and she’ll make you french toast

night owl

wanted connections

just... quickly

hello mckids // siblings!! 27, 24 & 22 (can be order or not)

god help the girl // i would love someone to have been appalled at her defensive/healing magic skills (lack thereof, rly) and forced her to accept their help, which might have been in the past or still going! marlene is v happy to help w physical fighting in return

we don’t talk about fight club // marlene is actually a good teacher in some ways, bc she’s p good at connecting to people, so going off the last point: if you want some physical fight training or you just want something to spar/rail against, mar is available. also, less friendly, but if you’re someone she doesn’t like, she’s also available for an actual fight

fwf // you know porn without plot? this is fuck without feelings. or maybe fuck w friends! which sounds like a bad tv show but there u go. anyway! people she’s hooked up with at hogwarts as generally a laugh / good time, people she’s hooked up with post hogwarts as both that & as a distraction

learn to process bench // i would... rly dig someone (possibly someone her age but could be older, cant be younger) who was on the mission w/ her where her brother died bc heck maaaaaybe they got her to talk (or maybe they’re both bad at processing & they just. Look At Each Other and don’t talk lmao) // MARY MACDONALD.

feelings are too hard // fwf but........ with feelings that she hasn’t rly given a moment to think abt. possibly does still hook up with & resolutely ignores that feelings are there, possibly hooked up with once & never has again bc wow she is not examining that, or perhaps she’s never actually hooked up w them and managed to get complicated feelings that she won’t address (which... is a double problem if they have feelings for her) regardless! either way, it’s v possible she’s somewhat aware there’s Something going on in her chest but hasn’t addressed it so doesn’t Fully Know bc she’s a fucking idiot (and it’s equally possible she does know and is just... Ignoring It)

more to come!!

#maraudrs:intro

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