#and she sees herself as worse than she really is

[imaginespazzi]

Can you write a Drabble where the team is at the theater but the new freshmen who is obsessed with azzi doesn’t realize that Paige and azzi are together so they sit next to azzi and talk her ear off and Paige gets more and more annoyed and kk and ice think it’s hilarious

You asked for this a week ago and I fully forgot it was sitting in my drafts, but here's the unedited, unseriousness you asked for:

KK thinks Allie Ziebell might have a death wish. It's a shame really because she hasn't known the freshman for that long, but she seems like a sweet enough girl and really, KK doesn't feel like hiding her body. But if Paige murders her, and it's looking quite likely, by that glint in her eyes, that she might, well KK can't not help her father.

It had started basically the day they'd come back to Storrs. While Morgan and Sarah had immersed themselves in the chaos immediately, Allie had been a little quieter, gravitating to Azzi's calmness. Since then, Allie seemed to have latched herself onto the redshirt junior, slowly getting more and more comfortable.

Now Paige hadn't had any problem with that, always happy to see the freshman starting to fit in but then Allie had started to break the rules. Granted, no one had even told Allie these rules, or why they existed, but still, rules were there for a reason (except CD's Paige and Azzi can't room together because really, Paige thinks, that's a dumb as hell rule and it's not like it's stopped them anyway) and needed to be enforced.

It had started with Allie sitting next to Azzi at breakfast. Paige had been making a silly tiktok with KK, and then turned around to find her spot taken by Allie. She'd brushed it off, knowing the newcomers didn't know about her and Azzi yet. no she hadn't narrowed her eyes in irritation and this totally was not the moment KK and Ice started making a bet for how long it would take Paige to blow up.

Then there had been the car incident. Allie was trying to be nice, trying to be helpful by offering to drive, seeing that Paige's car didn't have space for all of them that were going to the movies. But then she'd made a grave mistake.

"Azzi, you can come with me."

It had taken a lot of self-restraint for KK to not burst into laughter, not at Allie's innocent enough remark, but at the way Paige's hands had immediately balled into fists at the idea of her passenger princess not being in her car.

"Azzi always rides with me," Paige had bitten out.

"Oh," Allie looked a little bit like a lost puppy and KK had to sympathize. They'd all gone through what she and Ice liked to call their "Pazzi initiation", catching onto the rules quite quickly.

And of course, Azzi, never one to let anyone feel awkward or pass up the opportunity to piss Paige off had been quick to say that, "no it's okay, I'll go with Allie today."

Allie's face had lit up at that and Paige's had immediately soured, eyebrows cocked in annoyance as her girlfriend slid into the other car, sending Paige a cheeky smile through the windshield. KK had to bite her fist to prevent herself from laughing, knowing it would only turn Paige's wrath onto her. Ice, always terrible at hiding her reactions, had let out a snicker which had resulted in her being banished to the backseat. And that, KK thinks, is why she's definitely the smarter child.

It had only gotten worse the last hour. Allie was everywhere. Excitedly chatting to Azzi about everything and nothing, as they waited in line for tickets and then popcorn. Paige had sulked as she walked behind them, arms crossed against her chest as she seethed in silence at not having Azzi's complete attention on her.

But the last straw had happened mere seconds ago, when they'd finally gotten into the cinema hall and Allie had had the audacity to slide into the seat next to Azzi. Paige had glowered at the younger girl before reluctantly taking her seat in between KK and Ice who seem to be finding this situation far more hilarious than it is.

"Do you think it'd be wrong to have a stepfather who's younger than us?" KK muses, trying and failing to keep the amusement out of her voice.

"Shut the fuck up," Paige grunts, hand gripping the seat handle tightly as she cranes her neck to continue glaring daggers at an oblivious Allie.

"I think Allie'd make a great stepfather," Ice surmises, "ooooh do you think she'd let me go on live- ow what the fuck?"

"Damn well at least we know Allie would never hit us. That's child abuse you know?" KK sends Ice a symapthetic look, as the red-shirt sophomore rubs at the spot on her arm that Paige had just hit.

Ignoring the two snickering idiots on either side of her, the UConn point guards, stands up abruptly, bumping harshly against KK's knees as she budges her way to Allie and Azzi. While the freshman looks up at Paige quizically, Azzi merely raises a knowing eyebrow, a barely concealed smirk playing on her lips.

"Allie," Paige says, voice dripping with fake honey, "that's my seat."

"Oh I didn't realize we had assigned seats?" Allie asks confusedly.

"We don't," Azzi reassures

"There are rules. For example," Paige points at Azzi, "my girlfriend," ignoring Azzi shaking her head, she points to Allie's seat, "my seat. Simple stuff like that you know?"

It's almost comical the way Allie's eyes go wide, mouth opening and closing as her eyes dart back and forth between Paige and Azzi, "oh. So um- you two?"

"Yes," Paige nods solemnly, "us two. So if you don't mind..."

"Oh yeah, yeah of course," a light blush tinges Allie's face, as she scampers away to find another seat.

Ignoring KK and Ice's howling laughter, she plops down next to Azzi with a satisfied grin, intertwining their hands together. And even though Azzi rolls her eyes, she doesn't pull away.

"Was that really necessary?"

Paige gives Azzi an offended look, "of course it was! We never sit apart at the movies."

"But-"

"It's literally rule #43 on the list."

"There's no list."

"Of course there's a list."

"Paige...."

"Azzi!"

The girl in question shakes her head, a small grin betraying how amused she actually is, "were you really jealous of our teammate? Our freshman teammate? Our freshman teammate who clearly has a boyfriend?"

"No," Paige draws out the syllable, "I just like to make sure everyone's following the rules."

"Because you're really big on rules and sticking to them right?"

"Right."

"Well that's too bad," Azzi runs a seductive finger up Paige's arm making her shiver, "guess you won't be breaking CD's rules and sleeping in my bed tonight then?"

"Fuck the rules actually!"

#paige bueckers #azzi fudd #kk arnold #ice brady #allie ziebell #pazzi #i don't even really like this one tbh but here you go (i promise there will be actual good stuff again...one day)

[kruggers-mani]

Ghost X Plus size reader

You've always been known as the "big girl" your whole life. No matter how many diets, how many sports you played, how baggy your clothes were, everyone could still tell how fat you were. You gave up on dating after the third time you got cheated on (all different guys) and just accepted that you would never be anyone's type.

Your best friend just broke up with her boyfriend who was no good for her and wanted to celebrate finally being free by going to a fancy bar to "find her a sugar daddy". You are definitely a home-body and can be pretty antisocial. She worked her charms and dragged you out of the house, even convincing you to wear a pretty revealing outfit (at least to you).

Your hair up in a low slicked back bun with dangling silver earrings and a matching necklace. You're wearing a matching two piece with the floor length high waisted skirt having a big slit down the side to show off your stretch marks and cellulite. The top coming just below your breast with your entire cleavage on display through the small panel of mesh barely connecting the two sides. The one good thing about being big is never having to worry about being flat because if anything you're worried one of the girls are gonna pop out at some point tonight. The whole thing is a dark red that compliments your skin well, which means nothing to you because you feel so insecure about the whole thing.

The problem is your best friend is a short and skinny girl who always has to fight guys off of her, you never even get acknowledged with her around. Seeing her looking perfect in her tiny dress makes you feel even worse and having to hold back tears while looking in the mirror to put your final touches of makeup on.

When you do finally get there it is much fancier than you thought it would be, it's dim lighting with gold accents on the walls. You both head over to the bar that looks to be pure marble reflecting off the jewelry of the women sitting near it. Before you even reach the bar, a man has already stopped your friend asking if she is alone tonight and would like to join him and his friends. She says yes only if you can come too, and you can tell by the look on his face he is second guessing his invitation. You don't wanna deal with the awkwardness of this situation anymore and tell her to just go by herself, she pesters you some more but you get her to stop when you make up some lie about them not really being your type (which isn't entirely wrong, but you can't really be that picky when no one wants you).

You huff when you turn around to sit at the bar and ask the bartender for a drink "something strong" is all you say before taking out your phone to call an Uber back home. This was a mistake, why did I even entertain the idea of coming here? You think while waiting for your drink.

A tall man sits next to you and puts his elbows on the bar taking up a ton of space. You get a good whiff of his cologne and you can tell it's expensive, but you don't even bother looking up to see who it is. It's not like anything is gonna come of it.

"Fuck..."

You hear in a low tone, so quiet you almost missed it. You finally decide to look at the man sitting next to you only to catch him already looking at you, but not your face. His eyes are hard locked onto your thighs that are now almost entirely out of the slit in your skirt due to you just sitting down. He is for some reason wearing a mask that covers his whole head, only showing his eyes with a skull painted on it. Not knowing what to do as you've never been stared at before you just got back to looking at the bartender and waiting for your drink.

Damn it must be busy how long does it take to make a drink? You say to yourself before quickly lancing back at the man to see if he has stopped looking at you. Only to see him now looking at your breasts that are glistening in the light and looking like they are going to bust your top open any second. You kind of like this new attention until you see him adjust himself in his pants, then it becomes too real. You finally get your drink and the man next to you orders one for himself and gets it immediately.

"Tch, pretty privilege" you say a little louder than you would have liked before sipping your drink.

"Watch it love, wouldn't want those pretty thighs of yours to get bruised." He says without even looking at you.

You look at him eyes wide at his blunt comment about your body, but this time it was in a good way. He called you pretty. You've almost never hear that outside of your family or friends just trying to hype you up. Your cheeks immediately get hot and turn red while you try to look away like his comment didn't just make your whole year. It quiet between the two of you for a while before you look back in his direction to see him not even trying to hide the fact he is looking at your thighs again. You whole body starts burning up and you look back at him and he is now looking you dead in the eye. His deep brown eyes piercing into you showing nothing but need in them. It scares you as you've never seen that look directed towards you and quickly turn your head in the other direction trying to hide your face, buy turn your body a little more towards him so he can get a better view of your thighs.

You hear a deep chuckle only making you even more nervous. You finish the rest of your drink (that was definitely way too strong but this shits expensive) and are already feeling its effects on you. Body getting hot, eyes looking more tired, getting a little light headed, but most importantly... more confident.

Without looking in his direction you slowly move your hand down your body and hook the side of your skirt slit with your index finger. There is a small pause to try and calm your heart beat, then you move your skirt out of the way to show both of your legs entirely. Still not looking at him you hear his breath hitch and become very heavy.

You've never made a man breath heavy just from looking at you, and its really getting to you. You can feel warmth begin to pool in your lower stomach making you feel even hotter. You spread your legs just a little bit, only enough for him to see the top of your black lace panties. His heavy breathing abruptly stops and you fear you went too far. Maybe you were reading his signals wrong, how could this hot guy want anything to do with you. You look down into your lap in disappointment from getting your hopes up about to run out in embarrassment until you see his rough, veiny hand. He hesitates for a moment before finally placing his hand on your inner thigh, squeezing it hard for a second before softly rubbing its up and down.

"You'r gonna have to finish what ya started, Love" He says while leaning in close to your ear.

Your best friend had gotten up to grab a round of drinks for the guys she was sitting with, and watched the whole thing unfold...

#cod mw2 #cod x reader #military #18+ content #smut #ghost #simon ghost riley #plus side girls #task force 141 #thickwomen

[frozen-heart]

Sooo... Episode 6 is out...

For me this episode is the weakest we've had so far. And I need to rant a bit...

I don't even know where to start. Of course not everything was bad about this episode, like the pride party. I really loved that part.

But there are some icks...

Maybe I set my expectations too high, because I've seen a few posts about how there's a shocking twist, ect. But the hype really ended up going nowhere for me..

First of all, Noa and Jen..

So.. I wish they would just show us why Noa us so attached to Jen. Because all we see is Jen causing trouble for Noa and it sucks. And Noa saying that Jen and her are 'more alike' than her and Shawn felt like a bullshit excuse. And if she really feels that way, why not break off with Shawn right away? Instead she uses him, his money and then cheats on him. I could look past the cheating in Juvie, because Noa didn't know that Shawn would wait for her and that she was scearching for comfort in Jen. But this? This is just bullshit.

Even worse, Jen stole the money from Shawn's mother to give back to him?! Like what the fuck? And Noa is actually still considering a relationship with her after she got accused of stealing the money?

I also don't get how Jen told Noa she doesn't need more on her plate and when she's confronted with her STEALING from Shawn's mother, she turns around again and puts pressure on Noa to make a decision?! Excuse me?

This is just peak self sabotage. She is considering leaving Shawn, who she has a really stable and healthy relationship with for someone who steals and causes her trouble. Are the writers even trying to make us like Jen?

And I expected Noa to get some backlash from the liars. Especially Faran. She always has strong opinions and isn't afraid to voice them, but she doesn't say anything against Noa cheating? This would've been the perfect opportunity to create some tension between the Liars. Not only did Noa lie to them about Jen, she's cheating on Shawn and playing with both of them, which could taint the picture of Noa the other Liars have of her.

Side note: Where is the scene of Jen and Noa that we saw in the promo pictures?

Also, I really hated how easily they just cut Jen off of their list for Bloody Rose.

Next one, I saw some people say that they want Kelly to die a horrible death now. But I still don't want her to die.

What she did was horrible and hurtful to Imogen, but I don't think Kelly really had another choice. Her mom is abusive and she had to obey her and therefore the church to avoid further trauma and abuse. She has no other choice but to adapt to the view of the church to survive. And I think that's really sad.

I want her to get the chance to work through her trauma and redeem herself to the Liars, especially Imogen.

I hope they don't kill her off, because I feel like there could be a lot of ways to further explore her character, because she's so complex.

Side note: I can't take it when my two favorite girlies are fighting T_T Great acting from both of them!

And it seems like we're really pushing Faran x Greg now.. And I'm not sure how to feel about it.

I really like the actors and they do have good chemistry, but I don't really know if I can like this ship..

I mean we could have Faran x Kelly. They're literally right there and would be better representation than Jen x Noa..

And now to the 'big reveal'.

First of all, Imogen's 'test' didn't feel like a test. (I'm also not convinced that Noa actually finished her test last episode.)

It was really lacking, but at least she had her moment last season..

I thought something was up from Davie, as I stated in the first post I made about Summer School. Imogen kept confusing Bloody Roae and her mother throughout the season, but the reveal still didn't really work for me.

We didn't even see her face. And we saw in the trailer that Imogen will accuse Dr Sullivan of being Bloody Rose in episode 7 or 8. We also saw Dr Sullivan saying she's putting on her face, as in becoming Bloody Rose, which will probably be another dream of Imogen.

Imogen has been hallucinating this season so I'm also not sure that we can trust her judgment on this. I hope they don't do the secret twin thing with Davie. That would just be boring, because we got that last season. I assume it was probably a mask to mess with her.

I just don't buy Davie or her secret twin being Bloody Rose and it would be one of the more boring plot twists, if they go through with it. I have read other theories that seem more exciting than this..

Where did Bloody Rose go anyway? And why didn't she kill Imogen? She clearly had the chance to. Wouldn't she want to kill Imogen to keep her identity hidden?

I'm sorry for rambling so much. But I needed to get this off of my chest.

#Pretty little liars summer school #Pretty little liars original sin #Pll thoughts

[dallasgallant]

Consider this my formal apology to Cherry and an addition to my earlier post on the message of the novel. Upon my first reading I misinterpreted her in a way similar to how Pony does.

-

“It’s not the money it’s feeling— you don’t feel anything and we feel too violently.”

Her point was that money does not automatically make life automatically easy or good and that Soc’s face hard times too. She was not trying to put her struggles on the same level as Ponyboys, at least I really hope not, though it does come off a little insensitive considering the personal and extreme stuff he shared with her. However, I’d argue that only illustrates her world in how it’s hard to genuinely talk to someone and relate without sounding superficial or dismissive. Cherry so clearly wants to though, sharing her struggles right back, how she lives artificially. Living but not really living, friends aren’t really friends in the way pony has them…the one thing a greaser possesses over a soc is true friends and loyalty not just followers.

By the time Pony sees her again he’s been through a lot, he’s starting to forget sunsets and that things are rough all over. He’s starting to harden even before his head injury, even before his friends die. He sees her as a Soc first rather than herself, he’s cautious and angry. When rich people come to their side of town looking to help it’s either to feel better about themselves or appear better— all manufactured charity. Poor people are proud people and Pony says it himself that he’d rather be hated than given charity. It’s lost to him that Cherry is an individual and that she meant it when she said she wanted the fighting to end, blocking out how his friends are all thankful for her help.

Is she a little bit out of touch when comparing struggles? Yes, that’s kind of the point. That night at the drive in they were only just beginning to tear down boundaries. She’s not going to be perfectly class conscious because a 14 year old trauma dumped to her. It’s about reaching across the isle and recognizing the other person as a human being too, turning things into a “who has it worse” battle looses the point. You really shouldn’t take Pony’s warped perspective of meeting her again at face value.

At the end of the day she’s a teenage girl whose boyfriend was killed to a fight she never believed in. She doesn’t want to see anyone else lost to it, helping in the small way she can. She’s stuck to her lot in life just as much as anyone else yet she gets blamed for it.

#it’s late and I’m going to sleep - if you can explain this better please do #the outsiders #outsiders 1983 #outsiders #outsiders novel #the outsiders 1983 #ponyboy the outsiders #ponyboy curtis #cherry valance #sherri valance #outsiders meta #character analysis #book analysis

[the-lark-ascending69]

Robin spent years being obsessive, resentful and jealous over the Steve and Tammy situation. Ik she's friends with Steve but I need her to be obsessive now too. I need her to be obsessively in love with Nancy, I need her to be angry and jealous and dark. Because with Tammy, she didn't say "I liked her" she said "i wanted her to look at me", she wanted Tammy to see her and like her and she wanted her to be hers, and she didn't waste time telling herself she shouldn't want her - she just wanted. Like she wants Nancy to look at her now.

But once again, the object of her affections only has eyes for Steve. It's never her. It's always fucking Steve.

#ronance #robin almost maddened by longing #maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration bit #but* #i like it when love is dark love is wicked love has a little bit of evil #it's not predatory because nancy wants her too. but there's a feeling of obsessive desire that coats it deliciously #something something deconstructed predatory lesbian trope - she's only like this because the world told her this is who she was #and she sees herself as worse than she really is #in the same way everyone sees her as - or would see her up if she stopped biting her tongue as she's tempted to do #because her desire is simply stronger #everyone sees her like that except for the girl they think should be the most scared of her. the girl who's in love with her #she sees right through the obsession - maybe because she's obsessed too

[densitywell]

Marisha's comment about how Relvin is one of those parents who ended up with a child they didn't know what to do with really gets to the heart of it, i think, and is such a good way to tie the fantasy element of Imogen's powers into things more tangible. because there are really a lot of parents like Relvin in real life, who have a child with the person they're happily married to and never expect to be left alone with the kid. or who expect a ""normal"" (read: cisgender and heterosexual, able-bodied, relatively neurotypical and obedient, etc.) child and end up with one who's ""difficult"", who demands more or different of them than what they believe they signed up for. and that's not entirely entitlement on a parent's part- many cultures' common frameworks of parenthood and child-rearing do not include space for these children. it makes sense that Relvin was unprepared. raising any child is difficult, and raising a child whose needs you were never taught how to accommodate, who the world is so cruel to, is even more challenging.

and yet. and yet, the person who bears the brunt of the harm in these situations will always be the child. they're the ones who have to live every moment of how the world treats them, without the support that their parent is supposed to provide them. and when asked to care for his child even when she turned out to be ""difficult"", Relvin couldn't. for entirely sympathetic reasons, of course. he tried, in his own way. i don't think he's a bad guy. but he's let his own broken heart bleed onto his daughter. he hasn't been able to give her much else.

#imogen temult #critical role #cr #cr3 #like it's really sad what happened to relvin we all know this. but seeing how dani scrambled over herself last night #to clarify that she DOESN'T think relvin is an awful person just bc she thinks he's a shitty dad made me feel for her so much bc like. #sometimes the Posts. about him. feel a little “why do bash dead beat dads but never question if the kid has bad vibes.” so. #especially in comparison to liliana who is 1. worse than relvin 2. still sympathetic 3. more interesting to a nearly comical degree #and while he gets so much sympathy On Here ppl mostly post abt her to wish for her death or call her a bitch. so! #parenting talk is a minefield bc some ppl resent the idea that a child deserves anything more from a parent than basic needs being met #and refuse to include emotional needs among them. so like idk if that's your thing i don't rlly give a shit man #crposting

[voltfruits]

i think a lot of bad takes re: Aubrey's character arise from the common belief that she fully committed herself to making Basil's life hell for three years, when her in-game behavior really suggests that she just wanted to keep the photo album safe and get her old friends out of her life, and she didn't care if she had to hurt Basil in the process. and sure, that drove her to being mean and selfish at times, but it's still important to make that distinction and recognize that there's soooooo much going on in Aubrey's head besides just "hahaha I'm gonna be mean now"

#i see the phrase ''but aubrey was the only one who had malicious intent!!!!'' come up a lot in these discussions #as a way to suggest what aubrey did was somehow ''worse'' than sunny and basil #and that's bullshit obviously! she is irrational and fucked up in many ways but she's not a needlessly cruel person #i think it's actually really meaningful that she keeps insisting she's not a bully #because she sees herself as the underdog in all this. and in a way? she kind of is #growing up poor with shitty parents and then losing everything you love will do that to a person #she felt like it was always her against the world #omori #aubrey omori #volt.txt

[fideidefenswhore]

the downfall and execution of a tudor queen (2023) / the boleyns: a scandalous family (2021) / the king's pearl: henry viii and his daughter mary (2017), melita thomas / anne boleyn (tv miniseries 2021) / the mirror and the light (2024) / elizabeth (1998)

#web weaving #sort of? #i never feel like my edits really fit #they're more like collages #anyway...me on my island with the one other tudor fan that liked AB 2021 lol #'our expectations were low but holy fuck' sounds like a lot of consternation about a pretty...solid script? #what i loved most about it was moments like the above #the ability to summarize really complex dynamics borne of circumstance #in such a way that you can believe in the world and it serves as its own 'previously on' that a miniseries inherently lacks #esp when it only covers five crucial months #tl; dr there's a lot of smugness evident in many books of this genre #when it comes to anne's attitude towards her stepdaughter #bcus she was quote proven wrong unquote; becaues mary got quote the last laugh unquote... #when really. as per the quotes i've been posting #it doesn't seem like mary's reconciliation with her father was the idyll many have made it #thus we have anne's letter #and offer. knowing that others are offering her better futures #but saying this is the best future you could have. limited time only. #and it seems the future proved her right; not wrong (at least the immediate future) #bcs while matters; had she accepted; might not've been substantially better than they were under the auspices of a 'more gentle' stepmother #it also doesn't really seem like they would have been substantially worse #anne was right that her enemy's supporters wanted her disgraced and/or dead. she was right in that they wanted elizabeth disgraced #and/or dead. she couldn't have predicted what happened to herself in the exact matter it did- mainly bcus it was unprecedented #but it seems she had a pretty clear view of what mary was doing: playing both sides. attempting to ingratiate herself to her father while #also conspiring against him. and she knew it would have been better to have her on side #(and in a more jaundiced view: have her where she could watch what she was doing; who she was seeing) #but perhaps underestimated how impossible it would be to get her there in the first place #('on side' ; that is. not at court. although probably not that either. with the conditions she demanded) #but her fears of mary were not paranoia. they seem to have been grounded in realism #and a clear view of the situation at home and abroad

[linabirb]

haruka IS one of my faves but i like him as like. i see him as my chewing toy and i take a bite out of him every now and then. i am TERRIFIED to think of what would happen if milgram came out when i was still in middle school though because that's when i made mikan danganronpa herself my whole personality and 14 y/o lina would literally go insane if she saw haruka

#i just KNOW she would either hate muu with passion or see herself as irl muu and idk what's worse #do you want to know smth funny. well. i actually relate to hiyoko a lot more now than i relate to mikan. how the turns have tabled #it's also really funny because some of my friends said i remind them a lot of mahiru #i really got all the twilight syndrome girls except ibuki JDJKDKSDLD #[ 💚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 ]

[vulpinesaint]

it's me and all the women in literature described in despondent unhappiness in a marriage that they don't hate but don't enjoy as they should and who feel as if they're not the way a woman should be and who yearn to be free of their husband and children not because they despise them but because they're not for a husband and children and who can't say that they're miserable but who feel a numb kind of despair in all that disconnectedness and disconnectedness and disconnectedness. they are just like me for real

#we have the same kind of depression 👍 but also. i can see so clearly that that's the way i would be if i still thought i was a girl. #and i had grown up to get married to someone and tried to be a woman and a mother like that. god... #edna pontellier hold on. i'm going out into the sea with you. we'll drown together. #laura brown from the hours on my kin list 👍 #need to reread the hours so bad. opened up my copy of it to check if laura had killed herself at the end or not for this post #and just skimming the last few chapters made me tear up. god. but there are still the hours aren't there? one and then another... #and then you get through that one and then my god there's another... #um. books that make you go 'okay so maybe i have wanted to kill myself a little bit all these years. but maybe i'm going to be okay' #the book ever honestly it is Everything to me #and kate chopin's the awakening is good as well. much to be said about the depiction of people of color in that novel #but the depiction of edna pontellier's mental state is so. ough. #glances at the ratings on goodreads nd stuff have made me so irritated. #god forbid a woman commit the ultimate selfish sin of leaving her children behind because she's so miserable by killing herself. #because far worse than the thought that she could be losing all her personhood moment by moment #and wasting her life away feeling like a shell of a person #pales. in comparison to the thought that she could POSSIBLY abandon the children she didn't really want to have. #of course it's a bad situation for the kids. sorry to raoul and etienne. but they will survive. #condemning the main character for having the audacity to go off and die... sickening. i hate people #valentine notes

[yuridovewing]

ok so the hollyleaf idea i got from last post... what if instead of being jaypoppy or ashwhite kits like ive been debating with myself over the past few weeks... dovewing and ivypool were hollywillow kits.

the PEAK of hypocrisy.

#i'm just. my rule is that each tunnel cat has to be an illegal baby and OOOOO thats really illegal cause holly is a medic here #so double medic babies... even worse than her mom according to the code #currently... not sure how im gonna handle it though. like i want them in thunderclan but idk why willow wouldnt take them #would they all know that hollyleaf is their mom? i can see holly revealing she had secret kittens herself #maybe they do know and willow was pressured to not take them bc riverclan isolationism or whatever (but she wanted to) #also jesus christ can you imagine hollyleaf being pregnant during the last two po3 books . what the fuck #im thinking whitewing nurses them and becomes their adoptive mom like canon... but that begs the question of why does she have milk #ig she could have found a way to produce it but im thinking i coulddd move her moms second litter to her? #that or ivykit is hers biologically while dovekit is adopted and theyre raised as twins. but hmmmm... idk #i know im like. clearly coming across as liking dovewing more LMAO and like. i dont wanna be like ''wow ivy doesnt have it nearly as bad'' #''look how much worse she is now that she knows her sisters heritage while shes clanborn and good.'' like idk. i like it but im worried ig #but if i do make ivykit biologically whitewings... i could still have ashwhite drama. i could still have tbc family tragedy... #i can still have ivykit look exactly like brightheart but gray... #razorverse

[spamtoon]

(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever

#bright spark #<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky #the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE #SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh. #that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things. #today was an event. #i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you #to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this #is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay #nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are #honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang #spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main #cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her #own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally #i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to. #i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel #like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything #with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have-- #living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite #finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives #happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander. #that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared #to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that #respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a #method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family. #the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy #excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around. #spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much. #spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going #sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay

[themyscirah]

Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute

#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys #i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will- #like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!! #i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my #head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!! #also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it #may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc) #anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it #dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify. #i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt #equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there #like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he #doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be #like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in #ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things) #like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get #herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you #like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his #actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior #idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there. #like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be #i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other. #which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around #blah #sui sq

[caffeinatedopossum]

You know sometimes I think being misgendered doesn't bother me much but then someone I KNOW, someone who knows me and knows I'm transgender and even IS TRANS themself sometimes misgenders me and I'm reminded that no matter how accepting or supportive or similar to me they are, no one will see me as a guy until I look and sound like their idea of one.

And idk that bothers me a lot. Like I don't want to have to change just to be seen for who I am because then, is it actually who I really am or is it just a performance ABOUT who I really am?

#i try to make excuses for it. i say that it was an honest accident. a mistake that anyone would make #but it ISN'T. because they wouldnt do that if i was cis. i #no one accidentally called me he when i wasnt out to myself #its not an accident its how they really see me #and all the hes and the hims and the theys and the thems that they pretend are close enough for me to not care #THOSE ones are the ones that feel like mistakes. because thats their performance #thats not who i really am to them... its who they pretend i am and it still hurts #i thought this would fix it but it doesn't #i dont want people to indulge in my performance. i want them to KNOW me. the really real me #i just feel so separate from everyone else and this makes it worse #like im permanently stuck in this box conforming to peoples ideas of how i should be when i become myself #my friends are mostly trans and they dont fit their gender stereotypes and i dont care #my girlfriend is a girl as much as any other girl but mostly shes just herself #and the girl she is is different than any other girl ive ever known. trans or not. #im not performing to spare her feelings when i use her name or her pronouns. thats just who she is #maybe that's a bit callous of me... i shouldnt assume i know any person entirely #idk i just wish it came effortlessly to them because its never effortless for me

[quietwingsinthesky]

I think the nature of Clara haterism on Tumblr can’t be fully understood without the historical context of 2013. Namely that by the time of DW season 7b Moffat was widely hailed as The Bogeyman Of All Misogyny Ever. Clara was considered THE prototypical Shallow Moffat Girl, and she became a sort of figurehead for everything wrong with the show. (Bc everyone was maybe 14 and Smith was too beloved to insult.) Consequently, she evokes a kneejerk bad faith reading response in many users even today.

yeah, alright, i can see that. i am surprised that, at least as far as i’ve seen, amy & river don’t get the same treatment? or if they did, it hasn’t persisted half as long as opinions on clara have. Because having now seen how all three of them were written, amy got treated. so much worse with The Misogyny™️, and River bounces between ‘actually a fascinating character’ and ‘moffat wrote a sexy girlboss who wants to fuck the doctor’ so hard it gives me whiplash. (and i say this as a River enjoyer, I love her and she deserves so much better lmao.)

Of the three of them, I think Clara actually comes out a lot better written overall? She’s allowed more space to be a character rather than be a woman, if that makes sense. Sure, bit of a rocky start in s7, and I can certainly see why the Impossible Girl thing could be aggravating to some people. (I think it was. Fine. fantastic episode conceptually that sort of fell apart when it came to actually doing anything.) but Clara in s8 (and the start of s9) is fantastic. Her relationship with Danny and the Doctor is messy and deceptive and so understandable. “Listen” as an episode almost felt like ‘hey what if the clara putting herself in the doctor’s past was actually interesting and impacted him’. Her becoming more like the Doctor, especially after losing Danny, both as an effort to hold on tight to the only person she perceives as keeping her moving forward and giving her a purpose AND because to her, the Doctor is able to lose so much and not be destroyed by it and she wants that (without really understanding just how much this life is fucking him up, too.), is just. fantastic.

where was i going with this. i have no idea. my point, i think, is: i guess i can see how initial reactions to clara might color a less than flattering picture of the rest of her, but :( consider: i love her so so much and everyone should be niceys to her.

#i was sort of neutral on clara for most of s7 i think #she had great moments but i think a lot of what was holding her back was the same thing holding most of eleven’s seasons back as a whole #which to me was. what the fuck are they doing with that guy. does anyone know. did anyone have a thesis in mind for this man. #which makes it hard to build a companion around him as a foil because what are you foiling. #amy & rory didn’t have this problem as much because they were a set do not separate and thus could play off each other as well #(river. is another story.) #and because 11’s relationship with the ponds was maybe the one thing the show kept on track the whole time and understood what it was doing #with them. clara’s is. a lot messier. it’s both building to a twist with the impossible girl thing that’s. a bit lackluster. #and then 11 without the ponds is. kind of a mess. like. character-wise. even more so than before. as far as i perceived it anyway. #but 12 does not have that problem! 12 starts off with a bang knowing exactly where he’s going as the doctor and what question he’s answering #about himself. and that gives clara so much more room to grow herself as she patterns herself after him both to feel important and to escape #the horrifyingly mundane trauma of her boyfriend. dying. in a normal way. that was also her own fault. (not really but i believe she thinks #it is.) #you know. if s8 12 is asking ‘is the doctor a good man?’ and answering ‘no. he’s just a man. he’s just there and he makes the decisions #and he doesn’t even know if they’re the right ones.’ #then s8-s9 clara is responding with ‘well. if the doctor isn’t a hero. then what happens when someone tries to emulate him that sees him as #one. or worse: as someone who ought to be one.’ #and the answer seems to be ‘bad idea. very very bad idea. this is fucking her up so bad and she doesn’t even realize it.’ #granted im not at the end of this plotline but so far: ITS GOOD!!!! clara is great!!!! #anyway. thats my clara thoughts. actually i have more about ehy the moon abortion episode (bad) was ooc for the doctor but! very good #character moment for clara in reacting to what he put her through and how that’s foundational to how she’s rebuilding herself in his image. #but ill leave off here. #clara oswald #dw lb #ask

[gideonisms]

I can't read the aj book reviews on goodreads though because I feel like people collectively did not get that the gender thing was A) in service to her other themes not the entire point of the book B) not a girlboss everyone's a woman now thing either

#maybe the idea started like oh what if i just used she pronouns for everyone but the writing is more nuanced than that #it's the empire taking over different cultures it's not like universally a good thing #it's what many of the characters grew up with so it doesn't occur to them that they could be a different gender #it's not a universally bad thing either it's not like the book goes 'oh the empire is wrong not to have two specific genders' #it's just like. in the same way this empire enforces gender and restricts bodily autonomy through constant surveillance #your empire does the same to you. it's just like asking you to question things #but some characters have no problem with their given pronouns. it's all socially constructed that's the point #breq was probably the first time i was really envious of someone's gender though #there's no like. status significance to her pronouns in her culture. she doesn't wear different styles based on it #then you see her having to translate herself to other people's expectations when she's outside of the empire #and she's constantly botching it even after 20 years #never related to someone's experience with gender more #it's like i don't really do that. lol. but you're welcome to interpret me however. it is simply none of my business #i'll be whatever is most convenient when i'm trying to rent a place to stay. assigned woman at rental application #i never agreed to this system it's just a weird cultural quirk that makes my life slightly worse but otherwise isn't important to me