#and since i got my job in march 2022 i have been paying half of all the bills (literally down to like tv license when i barely watch the tv) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unrequited-words · 1 year

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I posted 90 times in 2022

That's 26 more posts than 2021!

18 posts created (20%)

72 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-am-bi-not-gonna-lie

@elytrians

@funnytwittertweets

@javarisx-fightingthosedemons

@fatmaninalittlesuit

I tagged 17 of my posts in 2022

#personal - 17 posts

#mine - 17 posts

#s - 17 posts

#my zod - 3 posts

#baby ogaard 😍 - 1 post

#astrid pamela - 1 post

#astridpamelaogaard - 1 post

#this baby truly is a miracle - 1 post

#first time mom - 1 post

#nlo - 1 post

Longest Tag: 28 characters

#this baby truly is a miracle

My Top Posts in 2022:

I haven’t written here in God knows how long. Nothing much has changed. Still at the same job. I make a little more. I pay for everything. Hes still a stay at home dad and work for him is slow. On his line of work he doesn’t make what he should and the job market is fucking trash. I’ve seen it. He’s still looking for work. I realized when I wrote that post back in March of last year he wasn’t cheating then (dirty texting) it started in February.

His first wife who he was in contact with sent him dirty pictures. I looked at the date and it was when I was asleep at four am. I woke up two and a half hours later and got ready for work. I know it was a Saturday. It doesn’t punch me in the gut like it did when I first found out, but it’s still sad that he has a women next to him (me), a brand new baba, and yet he’s dirty texting his first wife while swapping dick pics.

Maybe it was my temper, or because we had fucked? Who knows, it was 18 months ago and I don’t remember. I don’t know why I’m writing this now.

Our kid is two, and she is growing. That’s beside the point. The point is, why do guys cheat even if they have a woman next to them? Sure it’s just dirty pictures and they aren’t fucking, but they might as well be.

He’s sleeping currently. I made him dinner and it’s on his desk cold. I’m thankful for how he helps and I do love him. I just hope I don’t end up being a single mom doing it on my own.

It’s almost six pm and the baby is watching paw patrol. She really likes it. She hasn’t napped at all today and probably won’t. Hopefully I can go to bed in the next four hours so I can get ready for work tomorrow. He may help his brother paint tomorrow. If he does, I have to figure out how I can work a full eight hours with a two year old. I won’t bring this up to him. I’m just like wow he was doing this while I was working.

He was probably drinking vodka at the time which mind you I paid for. I’ve been paying for everything for the last two years. Since he became a stay at home dad in November of 2020. I can do it on my own if I wanted to.

I worked out earlier because he said he was going to. I know I’m a fucking fat loser with no prospects and that’s probably why he cheated because I mumble under my breath and I’m difficult to live with. I don’t speak to anybody except him and two girlfriends who pretty much don’t speak to me unless they text first.

I’ve given up everything to move here and it’s much better than Vegas but is this what I get? I don’t mean to play the victim and there is his side… I’m working at a job I’m starting to hate, never leaving the house unless it’s for groceries and I basically live at home.

I’m happy I have a kid but not happy I got cheated on even if he doesn’t think so. I’ll probably delete this but when he drinks vodka I’m on edge. Will he pass out? Whose watching the kid? It’s this way when I’m working. It’s very fucking stressful and it’s been this way since he stopped working due to his anxiety. He stopped drinking vodka and started on beer but he said to grab wine for me and a bottle for him. It also helps to clean the heads of his vaping which I use too and I KNEW if I got it he’d drink it. I got it Tuesday and the bottle is almost gone.

It doesn’t matter. I’m in a rut and fucking sad. I don’t talk to anybody about it because I trust nobody. I keep to myself. I post pictures of my kid doing cute shit on SM. Other than that I don’t exist. I’ve been here two years and still haven’t had a vacation. I can’t afford it. With the PTO I do have it’s used for being sick. I currently have 14 hours and we can use unpaid work points which I have but I can’t afford that.

Sorry to ramble. I’m just really sad about this shitshow I’ve created and choose to stay on. Not a shitshow I don’t understand why he dirty texted her and I don’t want to have that conversation with him because I don’t have the emotional energy or time to argue. It’ll come down to why are you going through my phone? I wanted photos of my kid that he took, and yet I stumble across p u s s y pictures that are still backed up on your google photos?

Yet, I’m the c u n t if I bring it up. I know I’m playing the victim I’m just like why would you do this when your second wife fucked other dudes and you found out just like I found out. Sure you have kids with her but I’m in the same boat. Just like you I got cheated on except you didn’t fuck the bitch who you sent dick pics to. What’s ironic is the time stamp when I found out her sent his dick pics to her. It was right before I got on my last break.

How is that okay? How are you okay sending dick pics and have your gf who has your kid walk out of her work area and will ask how are you? Do you need anything?

I’m such a fun c k i n g cuck 😒

To be continued

3 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

Fuck, I’m tired. Slept like shit again. Baby woke up one time at six. Finally around 6:40 when my alarm went off. I checked up on her, made coffee and went to work. She’s napping and I’m betting you money she will be up in the next 90 minutes and I don’t get a nap in. Her dad is napping. 87 minutes to go.

Fuck I’m tired 🥱

4 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

When did my tiny 31 weeker turn into this giant two year old 🥹

4 notes - Posted December 13, 2022

There is this game that came out in 2019 called days gone. Husband is playing it and it’s a mix of red dead redemption and GTA 5

It does NOT disappoint.

Minus whoever TF are these writers of the main character did a fucking hack job

And yes, I’m still drunk 🤣

4 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I finally fell asleep around two this morning. The baby woke up around nine and I finally got up (my day off) currently soaking some dishes, the laundry is almost washed and I don’t really feel as hung over as I did when I woke up last night.

This cold is on the tail end as my nose won’t stop running. The fevers are still steady at 99° and no matter the Tylenol, vitamins etc it won’t go away.

My boss messaged me on teams and said I am bonusing on this check again, and it’s more than last month by 10.00 which is fantastic.

We are still working on potty training, and she is still scared of the potty. Maybe by seven she will be fully potty trained 🙄

I had some coffee this morning, but I should just stick to water. My stomach needs to heal from all the alcohol and acid it currently has in it

I can’t wait for naptime later. It’s not even 11 😫

5 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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sugdenlovesdingle · 2 months

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I'm so fucking tired of chasing after everyone for everything.

Early Feb, Trevor Noah announced he was doing two shows here, I thought it sounded fun so I texted my friend to ask if she wanted to go see him with me.

After the 6th time asking she finally replied and said yes.

The next day I ordered tickets for the both of us and picked this buy now, pay later plan to pay. For about 2,50 extra we'd then have two months to pay. Aka two months to get the money together.

I texted my friend to let her know I got tickets, what her share is, and when the payment is due. I said that if it was easier for her, she could pay me back half 'now' and the other half next month.

No reply.

Fast forward to the end of Feb/beginning of March. Still no reply to my text, and no payment - partial or otherwise. I text her again (multiple times) until she (eventually) replies saying her wages are late and she hasn't gotten paid yet. A shitty excuse if I ever heard one, but I play along, commiserate with her and just remind her when the payment is due.

That was 2 weeks ago. Still no payment. I've texted her again (multiple times) to remind her the full amount is due in a few weeks and I can't pay all of it on my own.

No reply.

Yet on fb and insta she's posting pictures of her and another friend going to see all of these big shows (for which tickets are easily as much as the tickets for Trevor Noah - if not more) and hanging out with the cast (and acting like they're her friends 🙄)

I mean she can do with her own money whatever she wants, but those tickets she agreed I ordered are in my name. If I don't pay up, the company I owe the money to will at the very least add extra costs to the original amount. Which will probably be a lot.

I've reminded her of that multiple times but she just ignores me.

My social worker says I should just threaten to sell the ticket if she doesn't pay up (the show is completely sold out, I'm sure it will sell) but I don't want to push away one of the only friends I have left.

I'm seeing her next week when we're going to a comedy show, I guess I'll talk to her then and remind her again the full amount is due about a week later.

If she doesn't pay up I really will have to sell her ticket because I can barely afford one, let alone two.

But like she has a job, her rent is WAY lower than mine, and her job covers her travel expenses (and way more than she actually spends on it). I don't have a job, I'm a mess on a good day, I've been stuck in survival mode since August 27th 2022,and I don't need the extra fucking money stress!!

#rant #feel free to ignore #I just needed to get it out #My social worker is sick #And I don't see my therapist until the 25th

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omega-tech · 5 months

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my 39th birthday

Well, next week will be my 39th birthday on November 27th 2023. The last three and a half years have been really rough, hard, emotionally, challenging, and heart arching in my entire life. I lost friends, family, people who I once called homies to sisters. And now I am looking into the mirror of a man who is still standing but humble of the last three years and I mean three long years that change my view of life.

Since March of 2020 when the world shut down, I was very worried about what would happen or will happen. I was scared and very depressed when I was at home alone. Few of my so-called friends have taken their mask off to show who they really are then what I thought of them. I view the world in two views, one was the hateful and greedy side that was destroying the hope we had left and two was the people who were peaceful and giving that was trying to hold on to hope we had left over.

2022, was a crazy and rough year for me, I got hurt to the point I lost my front teeth and had to get emergency oral surgery. My job was overworking me and paying me less while the higher up was taking our hard work money away. And at the end of the year I got hurt again at work which led to more pain and arch’s while my job was trying to find ways to screw me over and get me fired. I was stressed out that I wanna quit but could since the medical bills were building up.

And then the beginning of 2023 was not a good start. My job screwed me over and was trying to put me in a position I wasn't comfortable with and I called their bull shit. So I made a decision to go to a different department for my job. After that i couldn’t see myself doing that job for so long, i mean there wasn’t any advancement to move up. So in March of this year I decided to look for another job which was challenging. Until late April I got a call from a company that wanted to hire me, which was my break. I put in my two week notice and left that job, and ended with a horrible position. This company told me lies and I knew this job wasn’t for me. I had a plan to stick it out until something good came along but I quit that night because the team leader was trying to kill me on a line that I didn't feel safe in. So after being without a job for almost a month I got hired on as a housekeeper which i didn’t want but needed a paycheck. Luckily I still had time to do interviews for the jobs I was applying for which led me to get hired on to reynolds. I started in September of this year and currently I am still working here.

As of now, I am in a comfortable place and feel safe from being jobless. I don’t know what I am going to do but my plan was to go to school but, school isn’t looking good and I don't know if my trade degree i am going after would benefit me in a good work life. I wanna make this work without failing but I gotta face it because it is a part of life and I gotta learn from it. I just hope something good comes out of this when 2024 comes. I just hope I get a sign from god or anything telling me what I need to do and change about my life. I wanna have a good job and pay so i can own a home out in the country where there is quietness and being safe. That is one of my goals i wanna do, just own a home but these days it is impossible. But then again something will change next year hopefully.

So as I celebrate my 39th birthday, I wish for change and have a good life. And completing my goals I have set for myself. I know some of the things I will have to give up which some of my friends might not like but have to understand from my view. So, I hope I have a good day on my birthday and wish for change in 2024.

#birthday #life lessons

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millionsorganel · 1 year

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2022

(Wrote in 22/12/22)

This year is almost done. 1st January 2022, i dont really picture what to achieve other than completing my never ending assignments and struggle to finish my degree. That time i was so scared, so anxious I couldn’t finish my degree like how i wanted for so long. Time pass by. During semester break in March i have trip to Penang with my friends like how we planned (after a year postponed) spending time with them for 3 days and how short it is compared to when we were in diploma years we met everyday, i miss those moment and realize it will never be the same anymore. I hoped we all achieve our dreams i will always prayed the best for them. I hoped even after 20 years we still there for each other even we no longer in the same path like how we met before. I always blessed with unexpected rezeki. A week after, my aunty offered to join her trip to tioman bcs her friends couldn’t make it. I just payed half of the expenses for the trip and it is one of the best unexpected trip to go. I always grateful for that. In april, i started my final semester, this time there are classes in hybrid and physical. I didnt get college and had to going back and forth bangi shah alam like in March 2020 before covid happens. Of course i never like shah alam before, i always feel i never belonged there. Aby (my friend) offered to stay with her sometimes since she got college and she will be attending more physical class. There are few times i stay with her when im tired to go back. I started getting close to her in 2019 we were housemate and same place for internship. It was four of us, until we entered degree we still close. And when covid happen, i think she is one of friend that I regularly kept in touch and met. Before she was having hard time but recently she getting a job that she really happy with and back near her home, im so happy for her.

My final semester was not the best, i juggling with every emotions, i felt alone, i was trying very hard, going back and forth, seeing everyone travelling, working, having their own money to spend where i still nowhere. It was so hard. Till the very end, i still cannot believe in myself to completing this degree. 5 August 2022, im officially finished and complete my degree. Submitted my final thesis and sitting exam for the last time. I go back home with all heavy burden lifted but i feel overwhelmed at the same time. Next day, i jumped to a roadtrip with my highschool friends, it was fun and best trip because for the first time i dont have to think about my study, my thesis or my assignments. It was one of the best moment in my life. We checked in at a beautiful boutique hotel. It also the first time we met nani’s boyfriend. I think he was shy with us, we rarely make any conversation and i kinda feel bad to joined their date. But i can see they clearly loves each other, i prayed the best for them!!!! Our on the way back was all fun until we almost arrive home.. we had a small accident. a bit traumatised bcs involve big lorry and it was at the highway and things could go really bad if we are not lucky. We made police report and all those things and arrived home safely. Back from the trip, i am officially unemployed and yes i have been job hunting ever since. It was up and down moment for me seeing my friends landing their first job only after a month graduate. I try to think positive it not yet my rezeki, my time will come soon. Idk i just hope i landed my first job this year but now less than 10 days to 2023, im not getting any job offer yet. During this 4 months of unemployed and job hunting, i try to rediscover myself, i wanted to be better, i wanted to change bad habits. Slowly but surely. I hoped i become better next year. I also going to few places that was not in plan. I went to perak with my family, trip to singapore with my parent as birthday trip and went to genting with my cousin. Im trying to enjoyed those moment that i will maybe no longer can do it after i landed a job. Deep inside i know Allah has planned something bigger for me that i have been waited patiently. But as human, theres a time i questioning why im still jobless, why im still like this, why im not like others. Having 9-5 job (they hated) but had that adult money to spend. Maybe it just because of money, i know i have to trust Allah in this but i still have to do something right?

I know i have to start somewhere but I couldn’t find where to begin. Idk if im not meant to be an engineer or it just not my time yet? Im scared i will become a failure to my family. I am a burden now, i wanted to help my family financial crisis. But im lowkey scared to start randomly. I hoped i have the courage to start again.

22 December 2022, 11.19 pm

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letsneverspeak · 2 years

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Holy shit sorry.. it’s been over 2 years

Exactly what I meant when I said I would forget about updating this. My last update was June 8, 2020... Today is September 16... 2022 =(

I have so much to catch up you up. The pandemic did indeed last 2+ years. Things did not start to feel normal until earlier this year (for the US at least). A lot of countries are finally opening up to travel. We no longer need PCR tests to fly, thank goodness. Some countries in Asia are still restricted from tourism though like China and Japan. What a crazy two and half years. So many lives lost, so much ugliness surfaced, changes that I wish I could reverse like how we lost Souplantation!! Inflation is at all time high, people are struggling to pay their bills... we are in a complete recession. There’s not a day that goes by that there isn’t something to be scared and sad about. Times like this really made me appreciate the old days before 2020. It’s been quite overwhelming, like I should be used to living in this nightmare by now.. It’s hard not to feel helpless.

I wish I was more productive the last 2 years and have something for you to be proud of.. but unfortunately I just made more mistakes. I got into stocks and crypto when it was the highest.. I thought making money was that easy (it was during the bull run), but instead I lost a majority of it. I just wanted to make Dip proud, that I can help him make money for our future house too.. But instead I failed miserably. OH on a brighter note, we’re engaged!! He proposed to me in Paris in March this year. It was a complete surprise.. because I never thought it’d be in Paris?? lol regardless it was beautiful!! Cheesy but dreamy! We’re aiming for a fall wedding in 2023 but I have yet to start planning. The prices for everything scares me. Especially after being such a loser in investing.

Aside from the stock market fuckery, I finally started my Amazon business that I’ve been meaning to since 2020. Launching my second product soon! Not making money yet because Amazon ads and fees are so stoopid ridiculous.. but hopefully soon :| I’m really trying everything. I’m so grateful that I get to live my life and not stress about work, but I am so stressed from not contributing financially. Don’t get me wrong, house wife work is a job itself. But I don’t want to be that typical housewife. Plus we don’t even have a house yet.. so I want to help speed up the process then maybe I can be at ease. But as I’m approaching 30.. I just feel so incompetent in everything I do. Like how can I be a mom right now if I can’t financially provide. The goal is to own a house first. Then I’ll be okay. I am currently working towards my goal though, instead of dreaming and saying I will. I started. That’s something right? Oh and I’ve been doing Lagree (it’s kinda like Pilates but high intensity + cardio) I’m on my 40th class! That’s one thing I’m proud of lol

Oh and my hair issues? SIGH NO PROGRESS. I’m still at it. Surprisingly I’m not bald yet, but at this rate, Idk how many years left until I am honestly.. Will keep you posted though. Hopefully sooner than 2 years >.<

-K

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yasbxxgie · 4 years

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Chris Rock wasn’t sure if he was hiding out or not.

On the Friday before Labor Day, he was speaking by phone from Yellow Springs, Ohio, the rustic village where he’d gone to spend time with Dave Chappelle, his friend and fellow comedian. Rock had previously traveled there in July to perform for a small, socially distanced audience as part of an outdoor comedy series Chappelle has been hosting. But Rock couldn’t decide if this return visit was meant to be clandestine. “I don’t know if it’s a secret,” he said quietly. “Maybe it is out here.” He couldn’t easily find the words to describe what he’d been doing just before this trip, either. “I mean, I guess I’ve been acting,” he said. After a short pause, he added, at a more assuredly Rock-like volume: “In a pandemic.”

In August, Rock had gone to Chicago to finish filming the fourth season of “Fargo,” the supremely arch FX crime drama, which makes its debut on Sept. 27. The show’s creator, Noah Hawley, had chosen him to star in its latest story line, set in the dapper gangland of 1950s Kansas City, Mo., and which casts Rock — the indefatigable standup and comic actor — as a mannered, methodical crime lord named Loy Cannon.

Maybe in a different universe where the show premiered in April as originally planned, the “Fargo” role has already put the 55-year-old Rock on a whole new career trajectory, opening the door to more serious and substantial roles and silencing the chorus of fans who still knowingly ask him for “one rib.” Maybe in this universe it still will.

But when the coronavirus pandemic struck, production on “Fargo” was halted in March, and Rock and his co-stars (including Jason Schwartzman, Ben Whishaw, Jessie Buckley and Andrew Bird) were all sent packing. Then at the end of the summer, Rock was summoned back to set, first to spend a week in quarantine and then to complete his acting work under new protocols and not a little bit of stress.

Other prominent projects of his have also been pushed back — he has a starring role in “Spiral,” a reboot of the “Saw” horror series, whose release was postponed a full year to May 2021. But Rock wasn’t mourning the delay of any professional gratification, having spent the spring and summer realigning his values for the new reality of pandemic life. “Maybe for like a day or two, I was like, ‘Oh, me,’” he said with an exaggerated whimper. “But honestly, it was more like, I’ve got to get to my kids and make sure my family is safe.”

In that time he has also heard countless Americans echoing the lesson he offered in the opening minutes of his 2018 standup special, “Tamborine,” where he spoke humorously but emphatically about the ongoing incidents of police violence against Black people. As he said in that routine, law enforcement was among the professions that simply cannot allow “a few bad apples”: “American Airlines can’t be like, ‘You know, most of our pilots like to land. We just got a few bad apples that like to crash in the mountains.’”

Now Rock was feeling mistrustful about the power of his comedy to do anything other than entertain, and unsure when he would get to perform it again for large audiences. And he was admittedly wary about this very interview, explaining with a chuckle that when he talks to the print media, he said, “You have to be comfortable with being boring. If you’re not comfortable with being boring, occasionally, you’re going to get in trouble.”

Not that Rock was ever boring in a wide-ranging conversation that encompassed “Fargo” and his broader career; his latest observations on a nation grappling simultaneously with a pandemic and a reinvigorated longing for racial equality; the resurfacing of a past video where Jimmy Fallon impersonated him in blackface; and of course, President Trump. (“No one has less compassion for humans than a landlord,” he said.) Even in the absence of an audience, Rock was candid, increasingly animated, uncommonly nimble and always looking for the laugh. Now, let the trouble begin.

These are edited excerpts from that conversation.

Was there a time when you thought this “Fargo” season was never going to get finished and that the series might not be seen for a long time, if ever?

I’ve had weird little things in my career — I was supposed to do this Bob Altman movie, “Hands on a Hard Body.” We were on the phone a lot, going over my character and I was so excited about doing the movie. And he died. I was supposed to be Jimmy Olsen in “Superman” with Nic Cage [“Superman Lives,” which was canceled in the late 1990s]. I remember going to Warner Bros., doing a costume fitting. Hanging out with Tim [Burton], who I idolized. Like, I’m hanging out with the guy that made “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure” and he’s showing me the models of the sets for “Superman.” So yeah, I definitely thought there’s a chance this might not happen. Fortunately for everyone involved, that was not the case.

How did Noah Hawley approach you about “Fargo”?

It was a weird day, because it was the day of the Emmy nominations and I didn’t get nominated for my last special [“Tamborine”]. I wouldn’t say I was down down, but I was a little disappointed, and then I got a call from my agent that Noah Hawley wanted to meet with me.

I get acting offers, but I get more hosting offers than anything. It is not uncommon for somebody to want me to do a high-priced wedding or bar mitzvah — a few years ago, I officiated the wedding of Daniel Ek, the owner of Spotify, and Bruno Mars was the wedding band. I think I sat next to [Mark] Zuckerberg at the reception. [Laughs.] I just assumed Noah had some crazy request like that. The only reason I went is because I love “Fargo.” And I get there and he offers me this part.

How did he explain the character of Loy Cannon to you?

He said 1950s gangster, so I know exactly who he’s talking about. My father was born in 1933. It’s not like “12 Years a Slave.” It’s literally a guy my grandfather’s age.

In the first episode, we see Loy pitching the idea for credit cards to an uninterested white banker. Is he a man who wants to be part of polite society, but it doesn’t want him?

I mean, I remember having a production overall deal at HBO and I came in with one person to sell a talk show with them. And they wouldn’t. That person’s name is Wendy Williams. [Laughs.] That’s $100 million that I never made. I was selling Leslie Jones to people, to agents and managers, for 10 years before she got on “S.N.L.” I’m very familiar with selling a no-brainer that people go, “Huh? Why that?”

Is he different from characters you’ve played before, because he’s older and we don’t know how much longer he’s going to be sitting on his throne?

Yeah, it’s one of those jobs: Because of how well it pays, you could be killed at any moment. It is the best part I’ve ever, ever, ever had. I hope it’s not the best part I ever have. Hey, Morgan Freeman’s done a hundred movies since “Shawshank Redemption.” But that’s the best part he ever had.

This role feels like it’s declaring itself as being outside the realm of what you’re best known for. Are you thinking differently about your acting career and where you hope to go with it?

My casting isn’t as weird as it seems if you really watch “Fargo.” Key and Peele are in the first season and Brad Garrett’s amazing in Season 2. Hey, it’s my turn, OK? I want to work on good stuff. Everything I’ve done hasn’t been great, but I was always striving for greatness. I loved “Marriage Story.” I’d kill for something like that. [Laughs.] You see what [Adam] Sandler did with “Uncut Gems.” But you’ve got to get the call and be ready when your number’s called.

Your 2014 film “Top Five,” which you wrote, directed and starred in, was very personal for you. Do you want to make more movies like that?

That’s a vein I intend to keep going in. When I made “Top Five,” I got divorced. And like most people that get divorced, I needed money. [Laughs.] I had to pay for stuff. I also went on tour. Because of Covid, it doesn’t look like there’s going to be any serious touring until 2022. So I’m a writer-director-actor right now. I’m working on some scripts in the “Top Five” vein and I honestly hope to direct, some time after the new year.

How much of “Fargo” did you have to finish during the pandemic?

It was like an episode and a half — the whole last episode, and some scenes from the one before it. It’s weird, quarantine when you’re acting. Acting can be isolating, anyway, and then you throw quarantine into that. You’re in solitary confinement with Netflix and Uber Eats. But let’s not get it too twisted. Somebody that’s in solitary is like, shut the [expletive] up. And then to actually act and get tested every other day, and wear a mask whenever you’re not saying your lines. And be cognizant of which zone you’re in. Because for Zone A, everyone’s been tested, but in Zone B, not everyone’s been tested. Zone C is just, everyone’s got Covid.

You performed at one of Chappelle’s live shows in July. What was that like for you?

When you’re in the clubs, you learn the rain crowd is the best crowd. Any time it’s raining, they really want to be there. The pandemic crowd is really good. “Dude, not only do we want to be here, there is nothing else to do. There’s nothing else to watch. Thank you.”

What did you talk about?

I talked about our political whatever. America. Part of the reason we’re in the predicament we’re in is, the president’s a landlord. No one has less compassion for humans than a landlord. [Laughs.] And we’re shocked he’s not engaged.

Did you ever see that movie “The Last Emperor,” where like a 5-year-old is the emperor of China? There’s a kid and he’s the king. So I’m like, it’s all the Democrats’ fault. Because you knew that the emperor was 5 years old. And when the emperor’s 5 years old, they only lead in theory. There’s usually an adult who’s like, “OK, this is what we’re really going to do.” And it was totally up to Pelosi and the Democrats. Their thing was, “We’re going to get him impeached,” which was never going to happen. You let the pandemic come in. Yes, we can blame Trump, but he’s really the 5-year-old.

Put it this way: Republicans tell outright lies. Democrats leave out key pieces of the truth that would lead to a more nuanced argument. In a sense, it’s all fake news.

Looking back at the beginning of “Tamborine,” the first several minutes is you talking about police violence and raising Black children in a racist country. Does it feel futile when you discuss these issues and it doesn’t change anything?

I remember when “Tamborine” dropped, I got a lot of flak over that cop thing. There was a lot of people trying to start a fire that never really picked up. It’s so weird that, two years later, it’s right on. I remember watching the news and Trump said “bad apples.” It was like, you did it! You did it!

But you told people two years ago —

I did. But so did Public Enemy. So did KRS-One. So did Marvin Gaye. There’s something about seeing things on camera. If O.J. kills Nicole on camera, the trial is two days. [Laughs.] It’s two days trying to figure out what kind of cell he deserves. It’s just Johnnie going, [Johnnie Cochran voice] “Well I think he needs at least a 12-by-8. Can he have ESPN?” That would be the whole trial.

But there was videotape of Rodney King’s beating, too. It doesn’t assure any particular outcome.

Yeah, man. Put it this way: This is the second great civil rights movement. And Dr. King and those guys were amazing. But they knew nothing about money. They didn’t ask for anything. At the end of the day, the things we got — it was just, hey, can you guys be humane? All we got was, like, humanity. If they had it to do all over again, in hindsight, there would be some attention paid to the financial disparity of all the years of — let’s not even count slavery, let’s just count Jim Crow.

You’re talking about a system that really didn’t end until about 1973. And I’m born in ’65 in South Carolina. I’m probably in a segregated wing of a hospital — there’s no way in the world I was next to a white baby. Even if the hospital wasn’t segregated, I was in a whole other room and that room didn’t have the good milk and the good sheets. My parents couldn’t own property in certain neighborhoods when I was born. There was an economic disparity there, and that was not addressed in the original civil rights movement. It was a huge oversight. So there’s no money and there’s no land. If you don’t have either one of those, you don’t really have much.

Did you want to participate in the recent protests?

Me and my kids, we looked from afar. But we’re in the middle of a pandemic, man, and I know people who have absolutely passed from it. I’m like, dude, this Covid thing is real.

You’ve been telling audiences for years that racism isn’t going away and remains a potent force in America. Do you feel like you’ve seen circumstances improve at all?

It’s real. It’s not going away. I said this before, but Obama becoming the president, it’s progress for white people. It’s not progress for Black people. It’s the Jackie Robinson thing. It’s written like he broke a barrier, as if there weren’t Black people that could play before him. And that’s how white people have learned about racism. They think, when these people work hard enough, they’ll be like Jackie. And the real narrative should be that these people, the Black people, are being abused by a group of people that are mentally handicapped. And we’re trying to get them past their mental handicaps to see that all people are equal.

Humanity isn’t progress — it’s only progress for the person that’s taking your humanity. If a woman’s in an abusive relationship and her husband stops beating her, you wouldn’t say she’s made progress, right? But that’s what we do with Black people. We’re constantly told that we’re making progress. The relationship we’re in — the arranged marriage that we’re in — it’s that we’re getting beat less.

Jimmy Fallon drew significant criticism this past spring for a 20-year-old clip of himself playing you in blackface on “Saturday Night Live.” How did you feel about that segment?

Hey, man, I’m friends with Jimmy. Jimmy’s a great guy. And he didn’t mean anything. A lot of people want to say intention doesn’t matter, but it does. And I don’t think Jimmy Fallon intended to hurt me. And he didn’t.

There’s been a wider push to expunge blackface from any movies or TV shows where it previously appeared. Have people taken it too far?

If I say they are, then I’m the worst guy in the world. There’s literally one answer that ends my whole career. Blackface ain’t cool, OK? That’s my quote. Blackface is bad. Who needs it? It’s so sad, we live in a world now where you have to say, I am so against cancer. “I just assumed you liked cancer.” No, no, no, I am so against it. You have to state so many obvious things you’re against.

Who do you hang with these days? Who’s your peer group?

I hang with Dave [Chappelle]. I hang with my kids. I hang with Nelson George. There’s not a lot of hanging in the Covid world. The better question is, who do you FaceTime with?

So who do you FaceTime with?

The other day I realized I’ve never met an elderly person that was cared for by their friends. Every elderly person I know that’s got any trouble is cared for by a spouse or a child. Sometimes they have like five kids but only one helps. Where are your friends? Your friends are probably not going to be there when it really counts. [Laughs.] When my dad was dying in the hospital, where were his friends? My grandmother, where were her friends? Don’t get me wrong, you get sick in your 20s, your friends will come to the hospital. It’s an adventure. [Laughs.] You get sick in your 60s, they farm it out. “You go Wednesday and I’ll go Sunday.”

Enjoy them while you have them. But if you think your friends are your long-term solution to loneliness, you’re an idiot.

#chris rock #black face #amerikkka #racism #racial hierarchy #donlad trump #comedy #black comedy #comedians #black comedians #interview #interviews #the new york times #fargo fx #covid-19 #covid 19 #long reads

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clevercatchphrase · 4 years

Text

2019 year in review

So… The 2010’s are almost over. Huh. What a decade it’s been. Hard to comprehend how much has changed in 10 years. I can barely believe that I was in high school at the beginning of this decade, and now I’m a college graduate with 2 degrees who’s been working at the same job for the last 3 years. But trying to summarize the past 10 years in a single post is a good way to give myself an existential crisis, so let’s not do that! Instead, let’s just focus on 2019 because there has been more than enough shit that’s happened to me in this year to talk about.

PART 1 OF 2: 2019 AND 2020 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS

Huh, looking back through my archives, I apparently didn’t make a tumblr post about my goals this year. I definitely had some, though. Lemme list ‘em off real quick, and then we’ll go through them point by point.

1) Pay off all my student loans 2) Finish some song comics 3) Make art for my Redbubble account 4) Finish the first rough draft/script of a game I wanted to make 5) Practice ASL 6) Sew some stuffed animals 7) Finish some fan fictions 8) Work on Ghost Switch 9) AMVs 10) Do some original writing 11) Make illustrations for my fan fictions

Okay, first off, the student loans. I was actually SO CLOSE to successfully completing this one bUT THEN MY CAR HAD TO BE A WHINEY PISS BABY AND HAVE ITS ALTERNATOR DIE ON ME WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEN A BLOW OUT THREE WEEKS LATER.

GOD, if I had to summarize this year in two words, for me it would be “Car troubles”. I swear I spent more on auto repair in the first third of this year than I ever have just freakin’ OWNING a car. All four of my tires had to be replaced, my alternator failed and my car literally just SHUT OFF while I was driving, and I was barely able to coast into a gas station. Both my front breaks and rear breaks were worn down the metal and I only learned this when my car was barely able to stop after I had to slam the petal down full force! I went in for an oil change, and they found some problems and then I didn’t get my car back for three days! I don’t even like owning a car! I hate driving! I hate my country’s refusal to provide universal, free public transportation! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!

Oh-kay… number 2. Finish some song comics. I didn’t finish any. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on them. I have made tiny progress, but that’s certainly better than no progress. One of these song comics I hope to be realizes is going to be a collab with one of my friends. It’ll be a long-time coming as it’s pretty low priority for the both of us, but if anyone else out there was disappointed with KH3’s ending, we’re gonna have ya’ covered… With SONG!

3. Make some redbubble art. I actually did this one! Not in the way I expected, but I added (technically) 3 new designs to my redbubble in the middle of the year. If you like butterflies and dragons, I got some product for you~!

Number 4, finish a script for a game I want to make. I… thought about this. I thought about this a lot, but I never put pen to paper, so… oops. It almost happened! I debated making this my main writing project for NaNoWriMo this year, but ended up having more inspiration for another story. Maybe next year? (god, I hope not. I don’t want to wait a full year just to write something)

Number 5, practice ASL. I just straight up didn’t do this and I only have myself to blame. Still keepin’ up that Danish Duolingo streak, though. 4 years going strong and not a day missed yet.

Number 6, sew some stuffed animals. Again, another one I just straight up didn’t do, but I have an excuse of trying to save money while my car crashed and burned in every other sense except literal this year. Hopefully 2020 will be different. I’ll definitely be able to pay off this last loan within the first half of 2020, and then I can start saving for whatever I want to buy.

Finish some fan fictions was number 7, and I did this! Well, I only finished, 1, but it was a story I’ve been working on for over 3 years, and it came out to over 200 THOUSAND words long, which is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of myself. Now that the big story is out of the way, and I’ve gotten into a good rhythm of working on Ghost Switch, maybe I can squeeze in some short writing sessions more frequently. (either that, or just wait for my car to break down again and then go on a writing spree in a pepboys. The lord and the fan fic discord know that’s solely why I finished my other fic this year)

Speaking of Ghost Switch, working on it was a goal this year too, and I did that! I kept it up all year and took a vacation in November and it was wonderful. While the major plot points have been in place since before I started drawing, I still need to script each arc beyond Snowdin, but hey, by the time we get there, it’ll be 2022 so I got time. (Note, don’t do this, kids. Script your stories and comics thoroughly before publishing. The road I’m on is paved with misery and pain and it will only end in tears unless I change lanes soon)

Number 9, amvs. Do people make AMVs anymore? Idk… the last one I made was... Jesus, 5 years ago? (it was a gravity falls/fall out boy crossover, if you were curious) I’ve been wanting to do 2 more for just as long, but in order for me to do that, I’d have to spend time re-watching the shows to find the footage, and then actually edit them together, and I just don’t…. feel like it. Maybe someday, but not any day soon.

10; do some original writing. I did this! For nanowrimo! I wrote the first draft of some original fiction I’ve been planning for a year or two now and it completely sucks! But it’s on paper now and I’m happy. Will I revise and edit it? Sure, but not for a while. I want to let it sit and forget about it and look at it with new eyes months from now so I can be sure I can make it better when time comes to rewrite.

11, make illustrations for my fan fics. Now that You Monster is done, I want to go back and add pictures to it. I didn’t do any this year, but I did keep a list of scenes I wanted to draw, so I have plenty of ideas to do as warm up sketches next year~ I kinda want to stream them~

So, that was 11 goals, and I successfully fulfilled 4 of them! That’s! Not a very good ratio… QmQ So, goals for 2020. Some I’m gonna keep from this year, some I’m gonna drop and some I’m gonna add. In short I would like to,

1) Finish paying off that last student loan 2) Put more stuff on my redbubble 3) Illustrate my own fan fics 4) Sew at least one stuffed animal 5) Make an enamel pin 6) Read one new book a month 7) Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic 8) Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make 9) Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch 10) Boost my patreon

Most of these I think are pretty self-explanitory, but I’ll go into detail just a bit because I’m on a roll and typing my thoughts helps me feel less alone in the middle of the night when you’re super tired and you know you should probably go to sleep, but the toddler in you is throwing a tantrum and doesn’t wanna go to sleep just yet, but you can’t fight the progression of time either way.

Number 1- I should be able to reach this goal by the end of March. End of June at the absolute latest. Once that goal is met, my secret new year’s resolution will be unlocked as well!

Number 2- I want to put more art of my OCs on redbubble. These OCs are tied to the game I want to make. There’s already some art of them up there, but I want at least one piece for each character.

Number 3- Mostly for You Monster. Embrace the cardinal rule of fan fic and apply it to fan art. If you want to read about see art about certain ideas, scenarios, or what-ifs, you gotta make it yourself.

Number 4- I have 3 potential ideas to sew. One is definitely leagues easier than the other two and will probably be chosen if/when I have the time and materials.

Number 5- This year I got really, REALLY into the idea of making enamel pins. Unfortunately it’s a pretty big investment (like, $350 to make 100 pins you might not even sell). If this happens, it’ll probably be towards the end of the year, and if I get enough interest. I’m currently torn between making an original enamel pin and one based off Undertale. We’ll just have to see where this goes.

Number 6- Back in 2018 when I paid off one of my many student loans, I rewarded myself by spending over 200 dollars in used books. All these books had a theme; they were focused on dragons because I have a problem. I have not yet read a single one of these books I have bought, and I would like to fix that. I have, like, 20 unread dragon books, and even if I only read 12 out of 20, I would consider that an amazing accomplishment and money well spent.

Number 7- I currently have about 8 different WIPs I could work on. (well, I don’t know if I can even call them wips. More like, a general idea and a title written down.) I want to build good writing habits, and if I can write just 200 words a day, hell, even 200 words a week and just one of my 8 stories done, I would consider this goal met.

Number 8- I’m torn between making my game in unity or ren’py. I know jack shit about both. Ren’py is more user friendly, but unity will allow me more customization. (Lol, can you guess what kind of game I want to make yet?)

Number 9- I really just want the full story to be done and written incase anything goes horribly terribly wrong in my life and I find myself unable to continue making ghost switch in comic form. Then at least I can finish the story by other means, you know?

Number 10- It always surprises me every month when I get that patreon email saying I got paid. Sure, I don’t even make double digits on it, but it still awes me enough to know that people out there like my work enough to throw me a tip. I can’t thank my patrons enough for supporting me and I hope to one day be in such a good place I can update my comic/song comics/writing frequently enough without need for goals or milestones. But until that magical day arrives, money is always a great incentive for anything, I suppose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT. PART 2 OF 2: SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2019

Cheesus crust what a year. This year started off great! Back in late January Kingdom Hearts 3 FINALLY released, and let me tell you a little story. Back in the summer of 2006 I was a 13 year old middle schooler with no way of making money other than by doing house hold chores at a rate of 25 cents a task. A few weeks ago, I had a sleep over at a friend’s house and they let me play this weird game called “Kingdom Hearts” and god, I was instantly hooked on it. That summer, I did over 800 chores, enough to earn myself 200$ and buy myself a playstation 2 (just in time for the ps3 to come out, gg me) The only games I had for the ps2 were KH1, 2, Re:CoM and Okami, and I beat them all… except Okami. Miffed that the PS3 wouldn’t allow for backwards compatibility, little 13-year-old me made a promise. I looked myself in the mirror and said “I will not buy the next playstation console until KH3 comes out, AND BOY that was probably a good choice for me to make with my level of gaming. I’m even less of a casual gamer than the average casual gamer, but I have been waiting 13 years for this piece of closure, and I even told my friends and family that “the day Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out is the day I will buy a playstation 4”. My dad apparently thought this was the funniest shit, because he literally took the day off from work that Friday to drive me on base to get the game and console (he thought it would be less crowded than a regular walmart, I suppose). I paid $400 on a ps4 pro while he bought me the game. Again, I have an impecible sense of timing seeing as the PS5 is now right on the horrizion, but just like before, I’m not buying a new console until the next KH game is released. See you in 2045, sony~. While I was at the gamestop on base, I also picked up Okami HD and The Last Guardian. For all of February and even early March, I took my time playing through KH3. And…! It was the best disappointment I’ve ever played. After a month away from gaming, I started The Last Guardian and finished it in a couple weeks. I love trico and would die for him, but trying to get 100% completion on that game is udder insanity. Okami, HD, however… again after a month break after finishing TLG, I started replaying Okami. I think I had only managed to get about halfway through the game before I just… stopped playing it on my ps2 version. I am currently SO CLOSE to getting a 100% on the ps4 version. In fact, I’ve beaten the game. I only (techinically) need 2 more trophies to be done; 1st, escape the water dragon without being eaten, 2nd, I need to beat that dumb stupid race with Kai, in order to get the last bead on my rosary, as well as the top dog trophy. I hate her so much. I hate this race so much. It’s awful and bad.

Flash forward to December! Earlier this month I was at Barnes and Noble, buying myself a planner for 2020. I exit the store and notice that there’s a gamestop across the street. For shits and giggles I go inside to look at their game selection, and I find KH 1.5 and 2.5. Now, my PS2 died a few years back (it just won’t read my discs anymore, I don’t know why) and I haven’t been able to replay any of my other kingdom hearts games since. If you had seen me the day I finished kingdom hearts 3, after the ending credits rolled, you would have heard me say “Man…. I wish I could play kingdom hearts 2 again”. AND NOW I CAN, ALONG WITH BBS which I had never even played yet, but knew the story of. I’ve restarted playing kh1, and I was so happy to hear that familiar music when I booted the game up for the first time. While at the game stop, I also picked up Rime and Tearaway, two games that had looked interesting to me. At the time of writing, I’ve finished Rime and am 25% done with tearaway. Rime was…. An interesting experience. I learned about it through Jacksepticeye’s channel a couple years back and thought the art style was enticing. For a super casual gamer like me, I found the puzzles just the right level of challenging and exploring was a blast! The music gave me VERY strong Princes Mononoke vibes, but the overall story left something to be desired. Overall I had fun, and enjoyed completing this game to 100%. Now for tearaway. Can I just say this game is super fucking adorable? I know the original was on the ps vita and the gameplay there was arguably more diverse and imaginative, but this game is just so fucking cute I don’t care?? ALSO, this game’s sound track is ABSOLUTELY incredible and I’ve only heard the first fourth of it! Listen to The Orchards, Pig Riding, and Gibbet Hill Pilgrimage for a taste of their wonderful beats and fantastic use of string and woodwinds! God, I’m so excited to get some more games in 2020. I’m proud to say I currently own more ps4 games than I ever did with my ps2 (and now the majority AREN’T Kingdom Hearts titles!), and I’m still hoping to play Journey, The Witness, and Abzu before everything becomes ps5.

What else happened to me this year. Oh, I went to a doctor for, like, the first time in seven years. I also had my blood drawn for the first time ever, and the nurse said the most disturbing thing to me while she did it. Now, whenever I get shots, I refuse to look. I did that here. So she thought it would be appropriate to say to me “Can you feel your blood leaving your body?” Lady… You can clearly see I am uncomfortable with what is happening here. Why, of all the things you could say, did you choose to say that. Unfortunately, while my doctor is nice, she keeps wanting to run tests on me, that I just cannot afford with my current salary, and my monthly insurance is about to go up to 200$ a month, so I’ve cancelled my next appointment with them, and don’t plan to go back until it’s absolutely necessary. Capitalism is fun, guys. Preventative healthcare is for wusses.

I started going to a chiropractor on a monthly basis. Story time- I don’t know when it started, but sometime late last November I began to notice that I had a headache that just... wasn’t... going away? And each day it was starting to get a little worse. It made it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep, it made it hard for me to be in bright areas or move fast. So I said to myself “Okay, if this headache persist through the month of december, then something is proooobably wrong and I should go see someone about it. And hoo-boy were thing wrong with me. By the time this January rolled around, I couldn’t even stay on my feet for more than a few hours without it physically hurting to just BREATHE. So I started going to this chain called The Joint (A+ name, I know). THey aksed me “How are you doing?” I said “I’m in pain” and they said “We can help fix that!”. I’ve only been to a chiropractor once before in my life a few years back after my freshmen year of college because I began to notice my hips weren’t able to support me? LIke, I would lie on my back, and I couldn’t push my hips up when my feet were flat on the floor. I also couldn’t climb anything steep, because my legs just couldn’t push me up if my knee had to bend more than 90 degrees when I lifted my leg up. (Turned out both my hips were apparently out of place). This time only one of my hips were out of place (which they fixed. they said one of my legs was an inch “longer” than the other because I had been leaning all my weight on one leg when I stand). But two of my ribs were apparently “Stuck” which was why it was hurting for me to just breathe, and one of my shoulders was missaligned too, causing one of my trap muscles to constantly be streched, which was pulling on my skull, and causing the headache. Anyway, after they popped all my bones back into place, I still felt terrible, but by god, that night was the first time in weeks I was able to sleep without a migrane. A chiropractor can’t magically heal your arthritis, or fibro, but I definately think they have merit to keeping your posture good and helping your body with things like circulation. 10 outa 10, would recomend. It’s all the fun of getting your neck snapped without the dying!

Earlier this month I got together with two of my friends and we baked Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, as well as a great learning experience. A member of my family has a gluten allergy, so we used rice flour for most of the cookies. We learned this is a bad idea! The cookies will just fall apart! A few member’s in one of the friend’s family have nut allergies. Other friend and I knew this and were careful to avoid cookie recipes with nuts, bUT THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT ALMOND MILK AND ALMOND EXTRACT COUNT AS NUT. IN FACT, ALMOND EXTRACT IS PURE CONCENTRATED NUT JUICE AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY POISONING THE FAMILY.

Earlier this year me and these same friends took a field trip to Hobby Lobby and just dicked around the store for a couple of hours. It was super fun, 11 outa 10, would recommend, a great date idea for your artsy S.O.

Back in May I went to a wedding for the first time in my life. (well, not true, but the first one I could remember) we left at 5am, drove 5 hours to get there, hung out at a zoo and spent the night in a la quinta before the wedding day. I slept on the bathroom floor because my mom was snoring too loud in the main room and keeping me awake, and the rest of the day was just spent me trying to keep myself together because I was pissed off and tired.

Other than all of that, nothing really major happened to me this year. I guess one more thing I’ve tried to do this year is started the process of breaking certain internet addictions so I can use my free time for more personal projects. Seriously, I found myself watching way too much youtube and following blogs that didn’t even make me happy. I had a personal intervention with myself where I sat down and asked myself, “why do you watch these videos and youtubers? Why do you follow these blogs? Do you really enjoy their content? Do you really care? If you stopped watching/following them, would you even notice?” After critically thinking it over, I’ve found myself unfollowing several channels and blogs and suddenly I feel so much happier. I thought I would miss it, but I realized I didn’t really care if I saw their content or not. I wasn’t missing much. And now I feel like I have more time to draw, read and write. If you think you spend too much time consuming and not enough time creating, I suggest you try and de-clutter your internet habits as well. It’s done wonders to un-fuck my headspace.

And… well, that about sums up my year. How are your holidays going? Anything fun, exciting, dramatic happen to you this year? I hope your new year is warm and safe! Good night, everybody!

#new year's resolutions #year in review #long post #(seriiously this think is like 3k words)

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yumas3lo · 6 years

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Donovan Carrillo: "I need to worry more about skating and less about money"

New Interview by Proceso, published on August 19, 2018.

Presenting a program with the music by Juan Gabriel in an international skating competition was a double-edged sword for Donovan Carrillo: he became famous, but he was also attacked for it. Under the culture of effort, "always willing to suffer", this 18-year-old is the only opportunity that Mexico has to qualify to the 2022 Olympic Games in Beijing. However, the lack of support puts his goal at risk. While the Mexican sports authorities turn their backs (they didn't pay attention to him when he asked for a uniform) a Chinese company already has their eyes on him.

Donovan Carrillo was born with rhythm. As a child he could dance to any kind of music. Juan Gabriel and the Backstreet Boys inspired him to move his body. He could imitate the steps of any choreography. He would dance as well as he could do in gymnastics and diving, disciplines that he practiced from three years until the figure skating crossed his path.

On the ice rink in Guadalajara, a girl captivated him. In order to know her, he asked his parents to enroll him. The girl inspired him. Sliding on solid water made him fall in love forever.

It's been 26 years since the last time a Mexican skater qualified for the Winter Olympics Games. Ricardo Olavarrieta was in Albertville 1992 and in Calgary 1988. Carrillo is the only opportunity that Mexico has to have a representative in Beijing 2022. With 18 years old, the Jalisco skater finished in 22nd place in his first Senior World Championship that took place in Italy and in 2017 he finished in 7th place in the Australian Junior Grand Prix.

Carrillo's Olympic project is a familiar goal. His parents, a couple of P.E. teachers who work from dawn to dusk in public schools, carry debts that will soon be unpayable. His coach, Gregorio Núñez, with whom the skater has worked for almost 11 years, does not charge him for the training hours, which can cost between 150 and 450 MX pesos half an hour. He invests his time and money in the dream of someone who already looks like his own son.

"He is the breakthrough of Mexican figure skating. He is the best nationally speaking. He has achieved very important results, such as being the first Mexican to qualify for a World Championships based on points, which has lots of merit. If he didn't had the shortcomings that he lived, he would have achieved more. The Olympic Games will be the culmination of all the effort he has made", says Gregorio Núñez.

In Mexico there are only two ice rinks of 30m x 60m, which are the official measures of the International Skating Union (ISU): in Monterrey and in CDMX. Donovan Carrillo lives since he was 13 in León, Guanajuato, where Núñez moved when he was hired as a coach on the the Ice Sports Center's rink, which measures are 23m x 50m.

He trains there with a grant, without paying for the use of the facilities, but every time he goes out to an international competition he must adapt his programs to a bigger rink, which complicates his performance. There is no way to consider about training outside of Mexico and without Gregorio Núñez. The investment would be around 5,000 dollars a month.

Carrillo works helping to coach Núñez's group. Collecting every coin to pay for his preparation. At this stage it is vital for him to participate in the largest number of international competitions as possible.

"Every time we see things darker so we can't go out and compete. We organize raffles or breakfasts to pay everything. I started selling diaries with training tips. From there we could pay the flight for Worlds, otherwise I wouldn't have been there. I need support from other people to reach my goals. I have raised my level, but I know can give more. I am willing to work very hard. Not having the institutional support does not mean that I'm going to give up", explains Carrillo. Donovan Carrillo was seven years old the first time he had contact with figure skating. At the end of his gymnastics and diving training, he accompanied his parents to pick up his older sister, who was skating with Gregorio Núñez in a rink from Guadalajara.

He discovered that it was a perfect sport for his personality: it involves jumps with turns of high difficulty, like the ones he already did. It includes dance and corporal expression. He left gymnastics and for a year and he tried diving and skating. By that time, he was studying in the facilities of the Sports Institute of Jalisco.

When he decided to train skating on a full-time basis, he had to switch to a conventional school that was not as generous as the one where athletes study. Since his parents weren't enough to pay for training on ice, he also trained roller speed skating.

Núñez detected in Donovan the talent for this sport. Thin and with short stature, light but agile and very strong, with a natural charisma that allows him to perform with ease in crowded public spaces. He had and an extraordinary rhythm for dancing, which he polished over the years with ballet and jazz classes.

The first day on the ice rink Donovan faced the challenge of maintaining balance on the blades of his skates, which measure is less than half a centimeter wide. He learned the difficult task of standing up correctly with unsteady feet, then he started walking and then marching. He never was afraid to fall. He wasn't measuring the danger, he was encouraged to jump and spin. The many times he fell were when he got up smiling.

"The day I skated for the first time I felt that I found the place where I belong, where I can express myself and feel free", he recalls. In a matter of a month he learned all the basics: pushing, slide back and forth and make simple jumps. The spins in different positions were his biggest headache. At first he was dizzy. He would get lost in space, and although he felt he was spinning a lot, he actually would make less than two turns. With hours of training and perseverance he managed to master them. Later he began to learn the jumps that amaze the spectators: Salchow, Toe Loop, Loop, Flip, Lutz and Axel, three of them baptized in honor of the first skaters who executed them. Each jump can be done with two to four turns. He knew how enter the jumps with the blades, to break the rotation and then slide the whole sole of the foot at the exact moment to avoid falls. A jump in the air lasts less than half a second. There's no time to think. They are pure sensations.

"It's very easy to say. But you have to learn the jump to add another turn. To learn a jump, I can fall 200 or 300 times. But I thought that just as I learned to walk by falling, then I can learn to skate. I learned that it's okay to fall down several times to make it perfect. I stopped and kept going, always willing to go through the pain."

For almost four years, Donovan Carrillo used the skates his sister Dafne inherited to him. The first four pairs he had were white. His mom took them with a shoemaker so that, at least, he could paint them black. At home there was no place to buy his own pair of skates. They were so big that his foot could move inside the boot, which is based on layers of a hard skin, which could hurt him. The feet of the skaters themselves are not pretty. They tend to have calluses and fingers deformed by the narrowness of the skate. They are used to training and competing, involving pain. Donovan does not hide a "second ankle" that he has in the instep of both feet. It's the callus that was formed because his feet were in constant movement, because the skates were not his size. At first it hurt a lot.

His first skates were bought when his sister's skates were stolen. He was preparing for a national championship, so his parents had no choice but to disburse thousands of pesos on them. They are black and by the Canadian brand Jackson, and the blades were a Paramount. He keeps them as the most precious treasure he has ever had.

In April 2013 the Ice Land rink closed. Donovan was training with Gregorio Núñez for six years by that time, then Gregorio went to León, where he was offered a job as a coach.

"When I was 13 years old, I went to live with him. My parents supported me and let me go. My coach opened the doors of his house and I formed a father-son bond. He never charged me for the classes. He does it for the love of sports. I was lucky to meet someone who is willing to sacrifice his personal life to help me fulfill my dream", he says.

Coach Nunez not only loses his salary when he accompanies Carrillo to competitions, he has to leave his students in charge with someone else. In the 14 years that he has been a coach, the updating courses that he has to take each year in United States or Canada run on his own. He learns the best techniques there, and also the judging system, because this is a sport of appreciation.

With 9 years old, Donovan competed in a National Championship that was held in Metepec. There he made himself known in the Mexican figure skating community. The attendees came to congratulate him on the program he presented. In Mexico it is very complicated for skaters to stay competing for many years. As they arrive, they’d disappear.

Then he jumped into the category where skaters of all ages compete, from 12 y/o to veteran skaters. He faced his lack of experience. The world fell apart in his first international event in the Cuautitlán Izcalli rink (which also closed). At the ISU Junior Grand Prix, for the first time he saw Russians, Americans and Canadians, the biggest countries. Out of 18 participants he ended 13th.

"It was shocking. I was not used to it or mentally prepared to see quadruple or triple jumps. I just worked with doubles and tried some triples. I was in shock. My coach helped me get out of the mental block. I discovered that my path was still very long. I was already important in Mexico, but I was very far from the world level. I started to travel abroad to compete, to try out, and I have been reaching the affordable goals I set for myself."

The lack of money lacks as a problem in front of the bullying that Donovan Carrillo has faced. He is well aware about the harassment all the children who dared to practice a sport considered exclusive for women has experienced. Dozens of them who trained, competed in the nationals later disappeared from the sport.

"At school, some people, or our neighbors would ask me 'why figure skating? that's for girls'. My mom was asked if she wasn't afraid that I would become gay for skating. These the prejudices that people have towards men who practice an artistic discipline, such as ballet or gymnastics. Society prevents us from growing and developing in the environments where we truly like to be in. They will say we have stop. There are many who left because they could not stand with the harassment. Sometimes the parents themselves say: 'No. My son will turn out gay', and then they take them to practice football instead."

— Did it affected you enough, to the level of wanting to drop skating? My parents helped me to overcome it. Yes, it came to affect me. They told me: "As long as you like it and you are clear about who you are, it should not affect you. If you are gay, we support you. You don't have to feel different." And I'd tell told them: "Believe me, I'm not gay. I like skating and I like girls". In Europe, skaters do not suffer this, people assume that it is a sport that has nothing to do with sexual preferences. It is very Latin American, in general, to associate it with being gay.

"I suffered a lot at school. They said to me: 'Here comes the [girly] skater'. Nobody can change it, it depends on the education and in the formation of the values of the house of said person, about respect towards others. At first I tried to explain and make them think about it, but people are so cruel. They say it to hurt you. It's useless. You can't save yourself from the comments or doubts. There is a lot of talent and there could be more skaters representing Mexico."

In 2016, when Donovan Carrillo reach fame because he presented a program with music by Juan Gabriel, the harassment escalated to social networks. "You see, he's gay", "They're going to make him gay", they wrote. The athlete was outraged that they used the word homosexual to insult him and as a way to offend his work. He gave himself time to defend himself, but the disqualifications kept going.

The costumes he uses moves away those who wants to offend. Although it is a pair of trousers and a shirt, they wear decorations with Swarovski crystals or sequins and embroidered beads. They are very expensive costumes, between 10,000 and 15,000 MX pesos. You have to choose the best costumes, those that weigh less so that you feel light when you execute the jumps and turnstiles. The brand from Queretaro called Artistic has sponsored him. His mother spent hours embroidering and gluing crystals to lower the cost when his costumes were designed in Guadalajara. The new black & pink suit with that he'll use in his next competitions must be paid by his family, since his sponsor is not in a position to give the money to pay it.

The sportswear firm Li-Ning recently gave him 15 train clothes. He will shortly sign a contract for this Chinese brand to give him whatever he needs. When he asked for a uniform of Mexico to use it in a competition [Kiss&Cry], he never received a response from the sports authorities of our country. With whom he makes his costumes, he ordered to design jackets with the colors of Mexico, for him and his coach.

Between August 22-25, Carrillo will participate in the ISU Junior Grand Prix that will take place in Bratislava, Slovakia. There is another date for him at the end of the month in Linz, Austria, but he will not attend due to the lack of money. The most important competitions for 2019 are the Four Continents Championships and both the Junior and Senior World Championships. He is not sure how many of them he'll be able to participate in, because of the lacking of funds.

"My most important goal is to qualify for the Olympic Games and end in a good place, not just attend there, it's to make all the investment worthy. I'm at a point where it's important to attend as many international competitions as I can to generate a good ranking position and so the classification will be easier to reach, as well as improve my level. I'm very proud because my coach and I have fulfilled all the goals we have set for ourselves thanks to the effort, work and sacrifice we made. I need to stop worrying about my career expenses and just focus on skating."

#donovan carrillo #fstranslations #i still don't want to make a donovan fanblog #translation #other teams #boi #he really suffers a lot #mexico wyd

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cursethedarkness · 2 years

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January 14, 2022

Since really nothing happened for me the past week or two, here is a story from my early days in the law.

Way Back in the Day, after college, I worked as a furniture mover, a Teamster Union job that included a Kaiser card. This was about 1975 and we made the same pay as furniture movers in non-union jobs make today. Back then, it was enough to get by on, today it's pathetic.

I passed the bar exam and become a Lawyer. There was a violent strike here in Los Angeles in about 1984. The sheriffs department arrested a lot of Union Men, but of course, not one scab got in trouble.

The little firm I worked at got the contract to defend about 50 "innocent but accused" union men. And since I was still a union member, I was sent to every remote little courthouse to negotiate settlements. Almost all of which were to pay a small fee and have the charges dropped. One was a week long jury trial -- which I won. And one guy who had been dead drunk when arrested did get convicted of being dead drunk. One Judge called us in for a 7:30 a.m. meeting, told me not to worry, and poured shots of Jack Daniels for the prosecutor and I (and himself). Just a friendly negotiation, we had three or four shots each and he dismissed three of my guys.

Later that year, the Teamsters had their convention in Las Vegas. Now if you ever get the chance to attend a Teamster convention -- GO. It's boring conferences during the day, and an amazing party thrown by the old school Eastern Conference in a ballroom at Caesar's Palace. All the booze you want, no charge, no tipping allowed, platters of shrimp, lobster and pastry and a live band playing at one end of the room. Lots of steel haired, big shouldered Teamster chiefs drinking and socializing. (the Eastern Conference had a "phantom man" policy -- companies sent a paycheck for a phantom employee in exchange for peace. Paid for great parties.

Standing with my friend Fernando, sipping our drinks, we see a commotion, horns blow, and half naked girls scattering rose petals lead a procession into the room, guys dressed like Roman Legions marching in front of four gigantic muscle boys, all oiled up, carrying a sedan chair on which is Jackie Presser -- the President of the Union. (Jackie is a Big Boy, like 350 pounds and wearing a robe like Augustus Caesar) and these tough guy chieftains are leaning to whisper to him and bending to Kiss his Ring. And then he is front of us. "Who is dis?" he asks Fernando.

"Steve, the guy in LA" Jackie grunts : "49 guys you got off, good work" he says. And holds his hand out to me, ring up. So the stiffs from the Department of Labor got a nice photo of me kissing his ring.

So you ask if I ever met a real gangster ? I had drinks with him ! (and kissed his ring)

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bearygentle · 2 years

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Quick year in perspective:

Holy shit. This year sucked ass and WAY too much happened in a concentrated time but most of that stuff will never happen again, so at least there's something:

Last semester of highschool. Dual enrollment was the worst mistake of my life holy shit those classes were picked bc nobody wanted to pay for em [we had no choice] and it SHOWS

No coincidence that I split a new alter around this time [hi rusty]

Turned 18

Scheduled a surgery for that summer, apparently it's my bad for assuming anyone at college would communicate. At all. [Announced a last minute policy change: my program can't enroll in classes until after we did in-person orientation/tour... which I COULDN'T DO BECAUSE OF THE SURGERY RECOVERY]

Graduated highschool. Won't get my diploma until I complete this early college bullshit tho. Can't drop out. GED for one credit is too stupid, but it tempts me regardless

Close online friend cut all contact the day after graduation in the second-douchiest way possible [first place goes to my ex]

Semi-major foot surgery, exactly a week after that. Tough break!

Couldn't go outside/walk/even drive for most of the summer because of this [suuuuper isolated, fucking hated it]

Our cat, who we've had since I was 9, had to be put down july 24th. We think it was cancer.

Got a kitten the same fucking afternoon, literally 4 hours after, because the barn across from the vet's office had kittens and apparently this was instruction for mom from god. This has been a reoccuring theme for the past few years. [Kitten's a total sweetheart, I do love him but. If you're freaked, imagine living here (￢_￢;) ]

Quit all my meds end of july. Probably the cat was my breaking point. Switched to a mild version of adderall

Quit therapy early august, usual therapist was on maternity leave + the replacement gave me an 'off the books' bpd diagnosis after a 10 question quiz a week after the 'friend' situation. Completely switched gears & got super clinical/aloof, so I ghosted 1 appointment post-cat loss. Fuck you. Shoulda done it earlier.

August's 'late' orientation wasted a whole day for 30 minutes of information. First time alone in public since march 2020. Super nerve-wracking. [Registering took over a week total bc of multiple holds + the hideous website]

Somehow also had the time for an extended derealization episode for basically all of late august/september/october, don't remember much. Might've fucked up my disassociative barriers with that one

Possibly started or finished a split partway thru this semester too, idk nothing noticable came of it but it felt like something cracked in my brain

Endured my first 'real' college semester, super burnt out, too many classes, but guess what!! I have to take the same number this semester OR I WON'T GRADUATE & I LOOSE MY HIGHSCHOOL DIPLOMA. Parents won't let me drop out. But I want too. So. So bad.

Oh also got goldfish + mystery snails! The only positive besides the kitten. A snail passed away a few weeks later, but the other two [+ all fish] are doing fine. [on finals week too, because of course it had to kick it then.] Planning on getting their full-size tank this spring.

Didn't draw, like, at all. My art year in review is half blank because of all this but I somehow did improve significantly so that's a plus???

Conclusion: summer of hell!! Semester of hell!!! Also Reigen the kitten was there. I can't think of anything else that could realistically go wrong, so maybe I'm in the clear.

Hopefully in 2022, I'll go back to therapy [already scheduled appointment with the normal therapist], graduate college with an associates (one semester left + already registered), and keep up the 'getting back into drawing' [especially fanart]. Everything else is up in the air. Also odd taxi movie + spiderverse 2 + maaaaybe mob psycho s3...?

I'm desperately hoping to have my comic starting sometime and do art shit to save up for moving out [no way in hell I'll have the energy for a real job]. Since all my plans fell through, I just need to keep pushing forward and figure out something. I'm still too fucking drained to hold regular conversations, so obviously that needs to be high priority because I feel really bad about ignoring my friends, and I really wanna branch out again. One step at a time, I guess.

At least it's over. I can handle aftermaths.

#red rambles #long post #hopefully the readmore worked and if not I'm... so sorry

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uprootedandrelentless · 3 years

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2020 Review - Miraya

2020 was a year we’ll always remember. At first glance it’s the year of COVID-19, a global pandemic, Trump, BLM, shelter in place, businesses closing and so much loss and sickness. Future textbooks will need many pages to cover the history of this year. Zoomed in (get it?!) at the smaller scale of my little bubble it has also been a year of lots of virtual experiences, career change, working from home, and sweatpants. Obviously there were so much bigger and more monumental issues than my own but for the sake of this year in review I’m just zooming in on my day to day life. There is so much out of our control, that this year was a reminder to be grateful for our relationships. Despite the craziness of the year, there were many joyful and happy moments that I want to remember of 2020, so I’ll focus on those.

It’s hard to think about this year pre-Pandemic/pre-March, but I am grateful that I squeezed in so much in the beginning of the year. In the first few months before lockdown, I luckily got to see so many friends and travel to all my favorite cities (London, New York and Palm Springs). Matt and I rang in the New Year in London, so we started 2020 there! I celebrated Claire’s Bachelorette party with 20 of her friends in Los Angeles, went to New York for my first Dessert Goals corporate event on Valentine’s Day, spoke at Alt Summit conference, and planned Clarissa’s bachelorette in Palm Springs. These trips feel like distant memories besides scrolling through photos on my phone. I can’t wait until we can travel again.

Since March my days have been much less glamorous, but there have still been moments I’ll treasure. Matt and I love watching movies, playing games and eating and luckily got to do a lot of these from the safety of our home. Some favorite moments of the year:

Snuggling on the couch with Matt and Rocky, watching movies and eating popcorn with Trader Joe’s ghee spray and truffle salt

Working out while playing Just Dance with Matt, our favorite song is “What Does The Fox Say”

Lots of cooking - using our air fryer, crockpot and Matt becoming a mixologist and creating a 50+ page Google Doc cocktail book

Every time we leave a grocery store with a giant cart full of food and I say “we will not starve”

Supporting small business with fun experiences at home, like Pop Up Mag in a Box and Mama’s Date Night Kit

Playing Pandemic Legacy co-op game season 1 and 2

Celebrating my 30th birthday at Claire’s house and learning a choreographed dance of Aaron Carter’s I Want Candy with Claire, Evan, Matt

Creative socially distanced activities like picnics with my parents and friends, playing croquet with Matt’s family, renting out a nail salon for Claire’s birthday

Virtual events like Six Degrees Society, monthly Pizza Party mastermind group, Dreamers & Doers, The Assembly entrepreneur group, my 30th Birthday with friends and family across the country

Solo workouts and dancing on my rooftop in the middle of the day

Home improvements like painting our bookshelf blue, getting a new coffee table and buffet table

Sleeping With Other People 5 year anniversary watch party with Rom Com Fest and IFC Zoom with Alison Brie and Jason Sudeikis

Seeing Instagram Story photos of people across the country receiving Dessert of the Month boxes

Spending a week in Los Angeles in an Airbnb with a pool and hottub and going to our favorite restaurants while working from a different desk than our usual at home

Finding our wedding venue and booking a date for March 2022

Sadly the year has also included many not so great moments:

Closing of Eco Goods, my parent’s shop of over 20 years

Closing of The Assembly, my co-working space and slice of heaven in SF

Clearing out my LA storage unit of all my event supplies, many of which I just purchased in November for Dessert Goals and have sat unused since then

Getting Covid in May - luckily it was mild I just had a high fever and was achy and sick for a few days then quarantined for 10 days

Having to let my employee go because I couldn’t keep paying her

Having to cancel all of my festivals

Moments of feeling totally defeated and lost and not sure how to keep my business going

Shock at the country and that there are so many stupid and selfish people

In my little world, the hardest part about this year for me has been my struggle with my identity as an event planner when I can’t plan events. I’ve always felt such an association of what I do with who I am and when I suddenly am forced to stop doing what I love, with no end in sight, it’s been really tough, both for my identity and my business. I had my year all mapped out, three festivals, sponsors, and first I just postponed my events, and now they are cancelled until the foreseeable future. I tried some virtual events, launched a Dessert of the Month club, but nothing was enough. Dessert Goals and Rom Com Fest are so much about the IRL experience and I couldn’t figure out how to translate that at home.

With a wonderful stroke of luck I was connected with someone in August looking for help with his event hosting software platform, Mixily, and he brought me on to do customer success and marketing. It’s the first “real job” I’ve had since 2014, and first time I’ve worked at a software startup. It’s been like MBA training, sink or swim. We have a small team all across the world and it’s been exciting getting to Slack and Zoom with others all working on the same project together. I’ve transformed a corner of our bedroom into an office (with a desk from The Assembly), bought a laptop stand, keyboard and mouse, and it’s the most official work setup I’ve had in years. Considering this crazy year and not being able to plan events, I am so grateful I got this opportunity to keep working and flexing my muscles in a new industry. I’ve joined many new communities to connect with others in the software world, such as Indie Hackers, and have learned a lot of new perspectives about startups, that sometimes you’ll work on something for years and then have to call it quits. With Dessert Goals and Rom Com Fest I hope it’s not quits forever, but I’m coming to accept that they can be on the back burner for now.

This year I turned 30. The biggest milestone the year has had in my mind is the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, which I never made it on. Obviously it would have been great, and I can’t say I’m not bummed that I didn’t, but I do know it’s not everything. Besides that, and wishing I could have a big party for my birthday which wasn’t totally possible, 30 hasn’t felt dramatically different yet. I know that I compare myself to others more than it is healthy, it’s hard to prevent it, especially when scrolling through Instagram. I hear from others as you get into your 30s you feel more confident in your skin, I hope this clicks for me and I quit the comparison game soon. I’ve started paying attention to my phone’s screen time and it’s pretty scary how many hours of each day I spend on Instagram. I’m juggling accounts for my personal, Rom Com Fest, Dessert Goals and Mixily, so it’s a lot. A mix of research, posting, and inspiration, but it’s not a good use of time. Over the holidays I logged out of all my accounts, so if I wanted to check I had to go through the extra step of logging in, and it’s decreasing my scroll time drastically. I know Instagram is not a good use of time and adds to my comparison feelings, so it is something I want to decrease next year.

One of the new communities I joined because of Mixily, Reality Bites, asked me what three things I want more and less of in 2021. Here they are, plus a few more.

More: travel, exercise, picnics, walks with friends, outdoor time

Less: stress, snacking, guilt, Instagram, comparing myself to others, sweatpants

Last year I included lists of my favorite books, movies and TV shows of the year and want to keep the tradition. I’ve been tracking books in Goodreads, movies in Letterboxd, and TV shows in Notes. Here are my top picks of the year.

Books

Last year I read 27 books and set a goal for 30 books this year. I ended up reading 32! My top 5:

Big Summer by Jennifer Weiner

Always and Forever, Lara Jean by Jenny Han

Not Like The Movies by by Kerry Winfrey

Body Love Every Day: Choose Your Life-Changing 21-Day Path to Food Freedom by Kelly LeVeque

The Mom Test: How to talk to customers & learn if your business is a good idea when everyone is lying to you by Rob Fitzpatrick

Movies

Matt and I watched A LOT of movies this year! Many older movies, including many from 1999 and a ton of Tom Hanks. Matt always creates his top 10 movie list of new release films. Here’s my top 2020 movies in alphabetical order:

An American Pickle

Bad Education

How to Build A Girl

On The Rocks

Palm Springs

Save Yourselves!

Soul

The Half Of It

The One and Only Ivan

To All The Boys: P.S. I Still Love You

In between movie watching, and while multitasking, I was able to watch quite a lot of TV shows this year, some with Matt and some on my own. Matt and I watched all the seasons of Veronica Mars which started a marathon of all other Rob Thomas (the creator of Veronica Mars) shows including Party Down and iZombie. Of new 2020 shows, here are some of my favorites, in alphabetical order:

Dash & Lily

Dead To Me season 2

Emily in Paris

Love Life

Never Have I Ever

PEN15 season 2

Queen’s Gambit

The Bold Type season 4

The Home Edit

The Morning Show

Trinkets

At the end of my post last year I wrote of all the things I was looking forward to next year including 4 weddings and 3 festivals, all of which were cancelled. 2020 felt so planned out and yet everything was changed. I have no idea what next year will bring. It could feel exactly the same as this year, working from home and wearing a mask all year. Or we could be able to host events by summer. Every virtual event I’ve attended about the future of events seems like a similar level of uncertainty. It feels impossible to set goals or make plans for 2021. We just have to roll with the punches, be kind to one another, stay safe, wear our masks and ride this out.

Here’s to a brighter and safer 2021!

-Miraya

#oakland #eventplanner #software startup #2020 #2020 review #virtual events

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girlyandunruly · 4 years

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Quarantine Days

Kevin and I have been making the best out of staying indoors. Two things we are very grateful for:

We are healthy (though Kevin gets paranoid from time to time “my stomach hurts, do I have the rona?”)

We still have our jobs. Luckily our jobs can continue to be done remotely. That being said, everyone’s hours at my company, Barr Engineering, have reduced to 32 hours a week, reducing my pay. And Kevin has been having a bit of an issue lately trying to sell services with the current situation. Nonetheless, things could be worse. We could be one of the 22 million people filling for unemployment.

We spend our weekdays very busy working until 5pm. Kevin upstairs in his “Business Center” he calls it, which is basically a camping table set up in our bedroom, with a chair from our dining room and a monitor from his office. I’m downstairs in the office area, I already had a monitor and standing desk since half the time I already worked from home. So I was set.

When 5pm comes around, we do home workouts. Either online yoga with friends through zoom, boxing class, HIT (High Intensity Training), ab workout class, dance class with my mom… we are trying to stay active.

When we’ve had nice days, we go outside to the park to play frisbee, bike or go for a run.

Last time I saw any friend/coworker (people I normally interact with) was March 10th. It’s strange to realize it’s been over a month now. Time has passed by really fast for me. Luckily, I have many hobbies and things I’ve been wanting to do but never had enough time. Well, I’ve been doing all of them now!

1. I created two new hats for upcoming Kentucky Derby parties (yes, for the years 2021, 2022). That’s how far in advance I plan and here’s one of them, garden gnome themed:

2. I’ve gotten back into my Rosetta Stone studying French. My daily goal is to do 30 mins. I’ve been pretty consistent!

3- I sewed a bunch of clothes I’ve been wanting to hem/fix.

4- I’m finishing D-Day Girls book.

5- Reorganized EVERYTHING

The tool box (as in go through every crew and tool and categorize them).

My tea collection, separated them by type in different cans (green, black, chamomile, fruity, etc).

Went through my clothes to decide anything I don’t wear anymore.

6- I’ve been doing some Instagram challenges like putting a t-shirt on while doing a handstand:

7- Online shopping hasn’t ended for me, eek! I mean, I had to get some comfy cute quarantine clothes like this one:

And also cute “Rachel Green” dress when things go back to normal, gotta be prepared ;)

Kevin has found new pastimes:

1. He dusted off his x-box and has been playing Grand Theft Auto – never seen him play before but he now plays a bit every day.

2. He made a delicious moist banana bread for the first time.

3. He’s gotten into every kind of home improvement project he could think of:

A. Pantry Upgrade:

A.1. He removed everything from the pantry.

A.2. Painted the pantry walls.

A.3. Bought new shelves and installed them.

B. Painted the windows.

C. Changed all the old electric plugs.

D. Currently upgrading our lights from the ceiling ** IN PROGRESS**

E. Done some intense cleaning!

E.1. Moved the refrigerator/WD/oven to clean under (SO DISGUSTING!)

E.2. He cleaned the oven with a power tool:

4- He cut his own hair!! I, on the other hand, made a hair salon appointment for May 12. Fingers crossed I can still make the appointment because this hair needs some work!

We order groceries to be delivered. And we obsessively clean the packages when they arrive. We also splurge once a week and order food from our neighborhood sushi, thai, pho, Greek or Venezuelan place (those are our go-to joints!). Gotta support our local restaurants!

I’ve been getting creative with my vegetarian meals:

Besides working out together, other activities we do together:

1. We play board games

Santorini has been a new favorite.

I even bought a new board game: Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Life.

Giant Jenga - Apparently Kevin has never lost in his life. Winning steak continues.

2. Watch a movie every other day. A few favorites so far:

JoJo Rabbit

Parasite

Molly’s Game

Knives Out

3. We have our rooftop to enjoy lunch and drinks with city and mountain views. We’ve recently discovered we can see Red Rocks Amphitheater from our rooftop. Might be the lack of industrial activities clearing up the air pollution.

4. Take many bubble baths.

5. Participate in #FormalFriday where we dress up, cook a fancier dinner and have cocktails.

6. Every night at 8pm we howl at the moon and hear the neighborhood play drums, trumpet, put out christmas lights. We pulled out our vuvuzela which I got in South Africa World Cup 2010.

Even though we are away from our friends and family, we’ve been staying connected quite often:

1. Do a weekly Happy Hour call with friends (pretty consistent with Kate and Rayelle) through GoogleChat and HouseParty app.

2. Do a weekly yoga class with Kevin’s friends.

3. We celebrated both our dad’s birthdays through Zoom and GoToMeeting. Their birthdays are 7 days apart (April 2, April 9).

4. I sent flowers to abuelita cause poor thing, she hasn’t seen anyone and needs more attention.

5. Emailed grandparents photos so they are up to date with what we are doing.

6. Mailed my brother a couple of books – one for Demi and one for him.

7. Mailed Kate her favorite popcorn (Kettle Head Popcorn Jalapeno Cheddar flavor).

8. Mailed Carla a 4-pack energy drink we used to drink in South Africa back in 2010. I randomly saw it on amazon and made me remember such a great time we had together. And thought it would brighten her day to remember our South Africa trip.

I’m not the only one that have been sending surprise packages. My family has been very sweet to me:

Parents have sent surprise Venezuelan treats in the mail

Grandpa sent me a book: American Dirt

When I do have to leave the house to run errands like drop off packages at UPS or USPS, I wear a “mask” (made out of a bandana) and wear gloves. Everyone around is wearing masks as well and staying far apart. Feels very doomsday.

Overall, things have been going well for us. That being said, we are extremely privileged to be able to do all these things. Unfortunately there are others that cannot work from home, have filed for unemployment, have lost their health insurance due to it or have kids in the house which makes it harder to work and homeschool their kids. Domestic violence has skyrocketed. There are families that cannot afford internet and their children cannot do their school work online. Single mothers who work multiple jobs cannot be at home to help their child with homework when school is expecting for parents to take over. There are older people that are struggling with the new technology changes and it’s giving them increased anxiety and stress to learn how to use online conferencing (I know it seems normal to most of us, others are really having a hard time). There are people with health issues that have increased anxiety of contracting COVID-19. Healthcare workers, grocery store workers, delivery services, waste management services, cleaning services... they are all putting their health at risk everyday to help us continue to live “normal” lives.

They are the true MVP.

Best thing we can do is to stay home, stay positive and find creative ways to have fun. Here is Kevin faceswap with a barbie:

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matthoerig · 6 years

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E3 2018 Press Conferences – Something for Everyone?

E3 began today, Tuesday, June 12th, with the official opening of the expo floor in Los Angeles. It feels, for those of watching from afar, like E3 ended this morning with the last of the publisher press conferences/presentations/ media briefings that began on Saturday and traditionally feature the biggest reveals and news about the coming years in games. Starting with EA on Saturday and through this morning's Nintendo Direct, here are my quick (editor's note: ha!) thoughts and takeaways from each presentation.

EA kicked things off on Saturday and did every other company a favor by setting such a low bar to clear to appear interesting. Their sports lineup was represented with announcements for FIFA, NBA Live, and Madden. Madden 19 will mark the franchise's return to the PC, which immediately had me worried about hacking. It's no secret these games' Ultimate Team modes make EA tons of money via microtransaction-driven card collecting/team building and I imagine within hours of release the more creative members of the PC scene will have accounts with tons of in-game currency and/or the best cards available in the mode. There was also a bit of a lackluster showing of Anthem, the new game from Bioware that's poised to be EA/Bioware's Destiny. I enjoyed having the developers speak, but I didn't come away feeling like I have any idea if Bioware is making a game that I would expect and want from Bioware vs simply aping the model of Destiny. We also got a tease of Respawn's Star Wars game, with studio head Vince Zampella revealing the name (Jedi Fallen Order) and that it would be set between Episodes 3 and 4. No gameplay or trailer was shown, just a name given and a release date of "Holiday 2019" that I would already bet is actually more like "Spring 2019." Finally, the Star Wars Battlefront II team from DICE addressed overhauls to progression and upcoming content updates, saying on stage they got things wrong at release. It was nice to hear, but I'd bet all the money in my pocket against all the money in yours that NO ONE at DICE made the business decisions that led to Battlefront II launching with the broken, exploitative progression system and loot box set-up they took so much heat for. EA's CEO, Andrew Wilson, was there to say all kinds of nice things about the upcoming line-up, it would have been better to see him eat just a bite of humble pie for the disastrous decisions behind Battlefront II.

Sunday was a much better day, with Microsoft and Bethesda having strong presentations outlining defined futures for their companies. Microsoft touted 50 games being shown and equally impressive numbers of "world premieres" and "exclusives" even if those phrases mean less and less and the market changes. Of the 50 games shown, the things I'm excited for are: Gears Tactics, an Xcom inspired strategy and tactics game in the Gears of War universe, Crackdown 3, which was delayed again until February 2019 but still looks like the open world toy box you want from Crackdown, And Forza Horizon 4, which brings changing seasons to the open world driving franchise. Some other announcements got my attention, like Chis Avellone writing Dying Light 2, a sequel whose predecessor didn't connect with me at all, very good trailers for Tunic, Shadow of the Tomb Raider, and Metro Exodus. Microsoft also announced they were beefing up their 1st party studio portfolio by acquiring 5 new studios, including Playground Games (Forza Horizon), Undead Labs (State of Decay franchise), and Ninja Theory who released the underrated Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice last year. Even if some of the big reveals didn't connect with me (Devil May Cry 5, Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice), it was a strong showing for a company that's been on the defensive since the poor reveal and launch of the Xbox One. They ended with a trailer for CD Projekt Red's Cyberpunk 2077. That game has a look and a tone already that I'm into to the degree I'm almost prepared to say "Show me no more until I can download it and play it myself."

Bethesda spent the first half of their event covering the bases they needed to: service games like Elder Scrolls Online and Elder Scrolls Legends (both of which I enjoy!) got stage time to mention upcoming content or changes, but those types of games see updates and changes so frequently that their communities are better served by dedicated streams or community events. Quake Champions is still alive and being supported. Wolfenstein; Youngblood was announced as more Wolfenstein, focused on BJ Blaskowitz's now grown twin daughters. Pete Hines also announced a VR Wolfenstein title, "Wolfenstein Cyberpilot" that is part of their "never ending mission to bring the message of 'Fuck Nazis' to every platform possible." Todd Howard then spent 30 minutes or so doing what I wish Bioware had done for Anthem, explaining what the game would be and how it would differ from prior, mainline Fallout experiences. I'm eager to play with friends after seeing what they had to say. And then they teased Starfield and The Elder Scrolls 6, which I'm imagining won't be actual products until 2020 and 2022, respectively.

Square Enix kicked off Monday with a video presentation. They showed almost nothing new that interested me; I was already going to play Shadow of the Tomb Raider, Dragon Quest XI, and Octopath Traveler. It was still nice to see trailers for them. The Quiet Man was the only intriguing new thing to me, and even then I have no idea what the brief mixed live action/gameplay thing they showed was or what the game actually is. That's not a bad thing – sometimes a "teaser" does its job by "teasing" you with what may be.

Ubisoft had a typical Ubisoft presentation, opening with a dancing panda bear accompanied by a marching band. I could tell you it was to promote the latest entry in the Just Dance series, but would it matter? It was still a dancing panda bear and marching band and was wonderfully weird with or without context. Beyond Good and Evil 2 made an appearance with an impressive trailer and some pre-alpha footage. Less impressive was the announcement of a partnership with Hit Record to crowdsource assets for the game. Don't do spec work, and multibillion dollar companies should pay the people who make their products. Also worth mentioning, The Division 2 got its first extended trailer after an earlier appearance of gameplay at Microsoft. I enjoyed aspects of The Division, and it sounds like the dev team is aware of less than stellar aspects of that game that were a drag, i.e. bullet sponge enemies. I have incredibly mixed feelings on The Division 2; the trailer includes the phrase "America is on the verge of collapse," and, like, maybe read the room in a nation hurtling towards being a fascist police state? Also, when your game explicitly focuses on a world where government-sanctioned agents operate as an ad hoc paramilitary organization, it's disingenuous at best for the developers to say the game is "apolitical." On the other hand, the shooting feels good and the loot treadmill sure was rewarding in the original The Division. It's out on March 15th, 2019, so maybe the impacts of the repeal of the US's net neutrality protections will be clear by then and help me make up my mind about playing an on-line only game. The pirate game Skull and Bones had a significant presence and looks intriguing since it's the boat combat from Assassin's Creed Black Flag turned into its own game. Assassin's Creed Odyssey also got a full reveal and while I was looking forward to more time to complete AC: Origins, that game was so good I'll happily play the next entry.

Sony embodied the feeling of "something for everyone, but maybe not a lot for me" I felt during a lot of E3. They opened with The Last of Us 2 which is 100% my jam. The trailer/demo they showed opened with protagonist Ellie at a barn party for her community, clearly watching another young woman dancing with some guy. The music shifts to a slower song, and Ellie and her crush, Dina, then dance, having a genuine moment that showcases developer Naughty Dog's ability to do human interaction, emotion, and storytelling better than almost any other AAA developer. There's a kiss that's impressive in its techincal aspects and in Sony any Naught Dog being willing to show an openly queer character as the lead for their major tentpole release, and it fades into black and returns with a 7-8 minute gameplay section highlighting stealth and combat. Animations are fluid and natural, and the attacks, be they up close stabbings or gunshots, appear to have a weight behind them. It's technically impressive, but I worry about the balance between the story and character moments I enjoy from a Naught Dog game and these frankly brutal sequences of intense gore and violence and how they'll be balanced. While I have those doubts, the trailers ends by returning to Dina and Ellie, with Dina making a comment to Ellie that resonates in the context of the two contrasting scenes and Ellie's facial expression changing in an amazingly natural way, both in terms of the technical animation aspect and in the context of the small story we've seen play out. On the "fun violence!" side of the scale is the PS4 exclusive Spider-Man game that looks like a ton of fun with plenty of combat powers to explore and combine in protecting New York. Other big Sony exclusives Ghost of Tsushima and Death Stranding (from Hideo Kojima of Metal Gear fame) look technically impressive but just do nothing for me in terms of story or gameplay.

Nintendo closed the presentation part of the show the same way EA kicked it off: disappointingly, at least for me. They did confirm a new Fire Emblem title is coming to Switch in Spring of 2019, which is great news, along with a remake/rerelease of The World Ends With You. Mario Tennis Aces and Octopath Traveler are out this month, and Captain Toad; Treasure Tracker hits for Switch in July. The rest of the show was mostly focused on Super Smash Brothers Ultimate, the latest entry in the Smash Brothers series. I have zero interest in Smash Brothers, and a good 30 minutes of the presentation were dedicated to revealing the entire roster – all 64 characters – and going into the minutia of every kind of change you could make to a fighting game. Details abounded about action animations and stages returning and new costumes for fighters and oh god please make it stop.

Games are for everyone. Not every game is for every person. I'm glad I saw a number of things I can be excited about, and I hope the people who really love other franchises and styles of games get what they want from the titles that spoke to them. But boy am I excited for Cyberpunk 2077.

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