#and so genuinely i just can't experience doubt anymore

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

saw ur vents abt dungeon meishi and while I haven’t read the series yet or watched the anime I have seen bits and pieces and already saw the blowup scene where Toshiro attacks Laois and like. even I with zero context didn’t totally hate him. It sucks majorly that it had to happen but like. Toshiro is going through his own shit and plenty of other characters ALSO don’t like Laois! I think people just see that scene and project the amount of times that’s happened to them with someone in real life, which like. I get it. I’m autistic and reading that scene hit like a gut punch bc it was something I had experienced directly in real life: trying to be friends with someone, thinking you are friends, only for them to reveal one day that they couldn’t stand you and hated your guts from day one. You wonder why the fuck they pretended and let you hurt even worse than outright initial rejection. You wonder why they’d put themselves through enduring you. It makes you feel like you can’t trust anyone, makes you feel like utter shit. I 100% get why it bothers people. But you can’t project real life people you experienced onto this character that does not align at all except for this one moment. Also knowing about the author, she probably put that in on purpose as commentary for how autistics in Japan generally have to go through shit like this bc of the way their social culture is. She’s made plenty of autistic commentaries before, I doubt she stuck that scene in there for no good reason. The fact that Toshiro kept quiet and didn’t say anything until he couldn’t take it anymore is VERY indicative to me of the ways Japan’s typical social system is a struggle on all sides. Not to say these are problems unique to Japan, but the nuance needs to be understood. Toshiro isn’t being a dick just for the sake of it. I want to read it sometime so I can better understand the guy, but I don’t want to hate him based on one scene where he was an asshole. Laois is an asshole plenty of times himself, being very overtly written as autistic doesn’t absolve him from the responsibilities of being an adult.

TLDR: People tend to infantilize Laois and demonize Toshiro, which comes down to the prejudices preconceived for both of them: people see Laois, as an autistic man, as an innocent sweet guy who needs to be protected. They see Toshiro, as an Asian man, as someone who should be “polite and honorable” or whatever and are appalled when he acts like a fallible human being and not some appropriation of a fictional romanticized samurai. I understand feeling betrayed and angry seeing a character be a genuine asshole about something (social expectation does not completely absolve Toshiro of his own antagonizations however much of a reason he had) but when it’s so damn one sided, and especially in a series where almost NO one is without complete asshole qualities that round them out, I find it kind of gross that people hate on him for that. Anyway. Just wanted to send a message of support and understanding. Hopefully after I read more I can offer more analysis to corroborate with you on.

100% CORRECT thank you anon

i also understand the people who are sympathizing with laios bc that scene is very easy to relate to for many autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people (i also got a cold sweat when i was watching it bc. like. having someone you thought was a friend straight up tell you there are parts of your behavior that they can't stand is one of the worst things to experience of all time, ESPECIALLY if you were only showing that behavior around them bc you thought they were your friend and you trusted them) but it's so frustrating seeing so many people have such shallow opinions about toshiro bc of it. im on hands and knees begging people to consider the characters in three dimensions and/or develop better reading comprehension because like!! toshiro's official meeting with laios's new group literally leads with 'oh his name is actually toshiro and we never knew bc our leader had a misunderstanding and microaggressed him and he was too polite to correct him' laios is not an innocent party here!! he is not an innocent uwu autistic baby he's a grown adult man with responsibilities, in that whole time he was partied with toshiro he never learned his real name!! plus using toshiro's crush on falin as a reason to hate him, falin's adolescence was spent in a school and a social setting where she was expected to mask + her being a girl also means she is expected to mask by default -> she is better at masking than laios so why are people saying that toshiro hates laios for the same traits in falin bc clearly not?? also saw one person saying 'he only likes falin because she's hot' NO HE DOES NOT HE WOULD NOT RISK HIS LIFE HEALTH AND RETAINERS IN A DUNGEON ON A FOREIGN CONTINENT FOR THE SAKE OF A WOMAN HE ONLY THOUGHT WAS SEXY!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DUNMESHI FANS THINK WITH YOUR BRAAIN

the whole fight he had with laios where laios points out that their party is more serious about finding falin and resolving everything also drives me nuts because i've seen at least one take saying that toshiro doesn't care about falin as much as team laios because of this. which yes the fact that team laios understands the importance of health in pursuit of a goal is very very important but for many cases in east asian culture (and actually any culture with emphasis on capitalism and economic growth) productivity will get valued above all else which leads to neglect of personal health, i.e: what toshiro was doing. so this is just a clown take to begin with

also interesting to me that almost every character in dunmeshi thus far has demonstrated some kind of racial bias/misconceptions (i.e: chilchuck about elves, senshi about half-foots, etcetera etcetera) and laios and falin are no exception. race and racial differences and conflict and coexistence is also one of the underlying themes in dungeon meshi, with the elves of the west being considered a major issue to many dungeon-goers and the mayor hating dwarves and having to contend with those elves, and then marcille's motive for studying black magic and even thistle's motive for being the dungeon keeper. so it's real fucking ironic that the fans are really quick and happy to demote toshiro to 'asshole side character who is bullying our autistic rep' instead of, you know, using nuance and thinking about it

tldr; dungeon meshi has great commentary on what it's like as an autistic person in society. but dungeon meshi fans are too quick to write off toshiro as an asshole japanese guy who is ableist and getting in the way of their white woman yuri, therefore helping to promote this website's enduring legacy as the piss-poor reading comprehension website

#dungeon meshi #asks #i thought this might happen when i heard dunmeshi was getting an anime adaptation but that doesnt make me feel better abt being right #i watched the ep last night with some friends and one of the first things out of their mouth during the laios-toshiro fight was 'i hate him #and i get it bc both of us had bad experiences being neurodivergent in a shitty american suburbia town #but also like. damn girl!! already???

[starsoftheeye]

Heres how samalicelia can still win guys

after sam and alices conversation alice decides that because it will both fuck with sam and be extremely funny, shes gonna start flirting with both sam and celia at the same time

both of them know shes joking, sams a little annoyed by it but he "really doesn't care what she does", celias just along for the ride and thinks alice is just Like That cause of how she speaks to basically everyone at the OIAR

one by one, the three of them all realise that it might not be a joke anymore

alices flirting starts to sound more genuine, making more specific comments to the both of them, sam starts rolling his eyes less and less over it and, to his horror, starts getting flustered, celia starts playing into the jokes more and more

eventually, sam and celia have a conversation that basically goes like "i can't stop myself from getting affected by it and i know shes messing with me and that makes it worse somehow" "why dont we mess with her back then"

so sam and celia both start flirting back, to alices surprise/horror/delight/confusion

this goes on for a while, to the point where literally everyone else at the OIAR can see the obvious and the three of them can't

this then gets to the point where one day gwen has enough and goes "oh my god why don't you join their relationship at this point please just stop flirting at work" (jealous much?)

that kind of stops it for a while, none of them at all willing to address the implications of alice joining the relationship, until sam and celia have a conversation where they realise neither of them would mind having alice in their relationship

so they talk to alice about it

at first she takes the piss out of it, thinking theyre just taking the joke really far, until she realises theyre being serious

she doesnt know what to make of it at first, and theres still the doubt in her mind that theyre just making fun of her, but she knows she wants it and she bites the bullet and says yes

then they experience the horrors together as the right of passage for all podcast relationships <3

#tmagp #the magnus protocol #alice dyer #celia ripley #samama khalid #protocule #samalicelia #sam x alice x celia #we've already got samcelia guys we just need alice #and of course we can still have dyhard #but im a samalicelia truther first and foremost #i wanna write this now actually

[chirpsythismorning]

Why I Don’t Experience Byler Doubt

It’s simple. One of the most essential techniques in storytelling: Show, don’t tell.

Show, don't tell is a technique that allows the audience to experience the story through actions, words, subtext, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than exclusively through the creators' exposition, summarization, and description.

Even more importantly (assuming we want to enjoy ourselves bc this is supposed to be high quality entertainment), it adds drama. Rather than telling viewers what's happening, a filmmaker will use this technique to show drama unfold. 'Telling' is factual and avoids detail; while 'showing,' is detailed and places the human subject at the centre of the drama.

This technique is literally playing out in the narrative when it comes to Mike’s inability to tell El he loves her (or even simply write love Mike in his letters), which he never would have had to tell her (spell out) in the first place, if he had just shown her that he loved her.

It’s no fun having to spoon feed your audience. Instead, it's much more enjoyable for the storyteller to present the truth in the details, even sometimes contradicting very basic assumptions that are being outright told. Hence why, for example, when the Duffers were asked about the Vecna reveal, Ross used the opportunity to go on a mini tangent: 'the best twists are ones that you go, “Oh, I should have seen that coming.” As opposed to the twists that go, “Oh, well that just came out of nowhere.” So, “Oh, I missed these clues along the way.” But you get nervous when you’re writing it because you go, “Well, to me it seems obvious--'.

In fact, Show, don't tell is what largely allows surprise revelations to hide in plain sight. Because obviously, if a writer just tells their audience everything that's happening while it's happening, we would always see what's coming next.

And so the problem I have with downplaying or even completely refusing to acknowledge the importance of Show, don't tell, in the case of Stranger Things especially, is that, in order to comfortably subscribe to what is being told, I have to ignore what is being shown.

We see this play out all the time on Reddit in particular, which if I'm being honest is the only platform at this point that treats mere speculation about Will and Mike's relationship as if it is the end of the world. On the rare occasion the mods don't remove a byler related post, the post is either already negative towards byler or the comments are filled with fury over the poster simply thinking critically by speculating about byler. Even if you manage to get a fan over there in the comments to consider certain evidence pointing towards byler as incriminating, they'll still manage to end it by downplaying the Duffers and their abilities, because 'They're not that smart!'...

They'll ask for evidence, be presented with it, only to insist that it's all reaching because details mean nothing and everything about the show is actually just surface level, ie. it's not that deep.

Without even realizing it, they're low-key admitting that going the byler route would be smart, and yet here they are tirelessly defending a show that, according to them, has shit writers and no deeper purpose. All this does is prove that they are hoping this is the case. Because even despite being presented with strong evidence that the show might very well be epic, they would rather reject it altogether.

They would rather have one of their favorite shows suck and defend it religiously, then consider the possibility that it's good and gay...

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely fans on reddit that don't hate byler. I imagine out of the million in that sub, there's a silent majority that would be open to it. Keep in mind, most fans still active at this point in hiatus are hardcore fans, and so they're obviously opinionated, that goes for everyone on most platforms rn. And yet, I know there are very likely casual fans who are popping in there every now and then, the same people in the majority when after s4 dropped, saw that monologue and said What the actual fuck was that?

There’s a reason no other couple on the show has needed to hear the words I love you to believe it. Well, besides Steve and Nancy…

Because SHOW, DON'T TELL. That's why!

So, what do I mean when I say that Show, don't tell is why I no longer have byler doubt?

It's actually pretty ironic, but basically the moment Mike told El he loved her, that's the moment they showed us that he didn't.

I mean, for starters, how does one go about filming a romantic love confession? Because if we're being entirely serious right now, they made just about every artistic and creative choice possible to go against what a romantic love confession should look like to feel satisfying.

I mean, you'd probably want the atmosphere to be intimate, right? Make the audience feel like these two are the only two people in the room (world) for this moment?

Well, that's not the case for Mike and El, nor is it the case for literally any of their scenes in s4 (arguably a lot of their scenes in the series; Will the wise drawing in El's room, I'm looking at you). Almost all of the scenes with them together in s4 had Will in the background, often times in the literal frame between them. That is NOT how you film scenes for a romantic pairing that you want the audience to root for, from beginning to end.

You guys gotta understand, rewatch value is one of the most important aspects to this story for the Duffers. When talking about the prospects of s5, they mentioned that they rewatched all the Lord of the Rings, saying how important it was, despite what some fans might say about the ending being too long, or this or that, bc to them, it was necessary to watch it all, and to rewatch it and rewatch it, in order to appreciate the entire story as a whole, aka the way it was intended.

If you're a serious about Mike and El as a romantic pairing, but because of the way the show has set up their relationship over the seasons, you can't sit down and enjoy more than a quarter of each season bc they're either separated, broken up, or on the rare occasion they are together and happy, they're accompanied by a kicked puppy in every shot, maybe all of that's for a reason.

And that applies to the scene in Surfer Boy more than any other scene in the show, a scene that is supposed to be Mike's monologue to El... You mean a scene that directly parallels Mike's monologue to Will in s2?

When planning the end of s4, do we think the Duffers just decided they wanted this intimate moment between Mike and El to have Will in the frame behind Mike (visually piggybacking off of him, in an episode titled The Piggyback...) in almost every shot, including when he said I love you for the first time, for no reason at all? Or is it possible there was a reason for it? Just like there's been a greater reason for everything?

Like bro, I'm sorry, but even if what's being told in that scene is relevant, all of it still reads as either a lie, a partial lie, a lie of omission or a platonic truth hiding behind romantic phrasing: I don't know how to live without you = platonic (trauma bond), whereas I can't live without you/I don't want to live without you = romantic. The later is out of desire/want, the former is out of fear of the unknown.

The entire scene the lighting is blinking rapidly. And so the vibe they're going for here is uncertainty, which is quite odd for a love confession that's supposed to feel certain? Then we have El seeing all red the entire time. She's literally choking, hearing Mike struggle to muster up anything that could help her pull through, only to overhear Will calling Mike the heart, followed by Mike finally saying I love you????

And I guess according to the Duffers, nothing says true love like a love confession ending abruptly by a two day time jump...

Oh and how about, instead of them taking the time at the end of the season for El and Mike to have a private moment, where they could finally address their love for one another, let’s have them barely on speaking terms, and the one time they do talk, let’s have it be offscreen and mentioned in a private moment between Will and Mike, who in contrast to Mike and El, we're going to prioritize having a scene with them alone together at the end of this season...

In the last minutes, let’s have El look at Mike and Will, only to avoid them with visible annoyance. And THEN let’s show Mike visibly defeated by El's annoyance, instead prioritizing reassuring Will, aka his friend with whom he shares an I didn’t say it/ You didn’t have to bond...

I mean? Are we just not going to talk about it? The fact that I didn't say it/You didn't have to could pass off as a literal synonym for Show, don't tell...

It just kills me that even with all of that, the Duffers were like, You know what? Fuck it. Let's show them all the endgame couples lined up next to each other, with Will and Mike in the middle and El standing on her own in front of them. If by now they still refuse to consider it, after everything, this ending probably wont convince them anyways, but it makes for great rewatch value...

Seriously, if you're subscribing fully to the belief that what is being told is the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help you god), then you're having to ignore all of that. And I can't ignore all of that, I just can't. Which makes it impossible for me to experience doubt anymore.

#byler #stranger things #byler doubt #not really #quite the opposite #but i'll tag in case #show don't tell allows you to acknowledge what is being shown AND told bc the truth of what's being told is hiding in the details #that's not the case for people only wanting to believe what's being told bc they're having to completely ignore the details to believe it #like i know for milkvans... byler scenes do NOT work in their favor #whereas for bylers... pretty much all milkvan scenes do work in our favor #and so genuinely i just can't experience doubt anymore #arguing with antis is fun to me #looking at reddit posts is peak entertainment #ppl praying to the gods that ST sucks bc they would rather have that be the case than it be an intricate story with deeper meaning #bc then that would mean all the queer-coding that's been hiding in the details all along was intentional... #there's nothing I can do for ya'll except sit here and watch you unpack that #reddit is going to be quite the spectacle over the next couple years #once byler happens there's probably going to be instant denial #then mourning #then acceptance #or whatever the 4(?) stages of grief are #then they'll eventually get to a point where they will allow themselves to look at the evidence instead of avoiding it out of fear #and that's when it's finally going to hit them #oh my god #it's me #i'm part of the reason they had to water it down #bc even upon being presented with evidence #they rejected it #and now they gotta give credit to tumblr bylers who discovered most of the evidence they've been shitting on for the last few years #honestly i'm looking forward to it

[ice-sculptures]

kind of wish i'd never learned that comphet was a thing

#i was so comfortable in the bisexual label before i found out about comphet and it felt so natural to identify that way #but now every time i see a man that i find attractive i question whether it's real or whether i'm just forcing myself to think this #i can't even enjoy it anymore bc i am just constantly being plagued with doubts and worries #figuring out i liked women was fun and happy and i loved it #but figuring out whether or not i like men has been such a shitty experience bc i genuinely Do Not know #it's not that i have an issue with being a lesbian.....the part that's upsetting is that i really don't know and am confused 24/7 #and every time i think i've reached a conclusion something else comes up and sends me into a tailspin again #and the past three years have been so isolated so it's not even like i'm going out and meeting people to see whether it's genuine or not #anyway. it sucks #personal #comphet hell #rae.txt

[oikasugayama]

Helloooo! I love your posts and I was wondering if you could do one of your charts with the bsd men for when you’re anxious and if they’d be good at comforting you or if they’d try their best, tried but failed and if they’d be just straight up shit at it, hope you’ve had a nice day :3

I have a few similar requests for cheering you up when you're upset, so here are my general thoughts as someone who suffers from anxiety:

Fukuzawa has the wisdom to say something genuinely helpful and calming. He also helps you with mindful breathing and makes you some tea.

Nikolai, in one of his sentimental moods, teleports you to a calmer, more peaceful location where you can calm down and feel safer.

Junichiro tells you what helps him when he feels anxious, and he comforts you by relating and talking through the situation.

Chuuya doesn't really know how to help anxiety, but he asks questions and gets you to talk and work through what's bothering you. Oda also does this but with more experience (I just noticed he's in the wrong spot, he should be further left than Chuuya)

Ango can't do shit doesn't do shit. His own anxiety paralyzes him.

Kunikida technically tries to help but he ends up making you feel worse by telling you all the other shit you should be worrying about instead.

Atsushi really, really, really wants to help but the poor kid is the most anxious person you know so he ends up making himself anxious and then you feel bad for making him feel bad.

Mori surprisingly makes you feel a little better by just talking about other shit until you stop consciously thinking about what was bothering you. It's still in the background but not as intense.

Bram tells you not to worry and that all will be taken care of. To him he's not helping, but you believe that he really will take care of the situation on your behalf so it helps you to know someone is in your corner.

Poe offers you a new novel he was writing, so you get to play in a fictional world. It's the best distraction ever.

Sigma doesn't know what anxiety is so he has no idea how to help. He tells you you can use any of his resources and that's about it.

Dazai says he'll jump off the roof with you so you don't have to deal with it anymore, and it at least makes you giggle. He'll keep saying dumb shit and you don't doubt that he really thinks offing yourself is a solution, but you also don't take him seriously so the giggles help.

Ranpo says anxiety isn't real so just don't worry -_-

Mushitaro tells you some depressing ass story of a time he was very upset as well and it just fucking sucks.

Fyodor either tells you to look to the lord for strength (I am so not joking) or he finds a way to twist you being anxious into an argument about you not believing in his ability to protect you/have things go his way.

Akutagawa says he'll kill anyone or destroy anything that's upsetting you. You really don't dig the destruction and it makes you feel worse.

#ask answered #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons #ango x reader #ango headcanons #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa headcanons #atsushi x reader #atsushi headcanons #bram x reader #bram headcanons #chuuya x reader #chuuya headcanons #dazai x reader #dazai headcanons #fukuzawa x reader #fukuzawa headcanons #fyodor x reader #fyodor headcanons #kunikida x reader #kunikida headcanons #junichiro x reader #junichiro headcanons #mushitaro x reader #mushitaro headcanons #poe x reader #poe headcanons #ranpo x reader #ranpo headcanons #sigma x reader

[blingblong55]

All too well- Simon 'Ghost' Riley

A/N: this is some of me in writing and why I believe romance is not for me, not now at least...so enjoy :) --- F!Reader, angst? fluff?, toxic!Ghost, age gap, older boyfriend!Ghost ----

A/N: I know Ghost wouldn't be this kind of man if he was real but I have to break my heart with him...sorry

He is older than you, years ahead of you and has more experience than you do so when you broke up with him, it was hard to let go. You at the time were 20, he was 37. People always judged and of course, you thought it was because they were jealous not because they were seriously concerned. Still, in Uni, he wanted you to make him your priority. You always said no and for some reason, he would get mad about this. At first, he was the nice guy, he was perfect and it all made you more sure that maybe there was a future with him. Your free time was spent with him because somehow, he convinced you to give all your time to him. 

This all gets noticed by all your friends. Your phone, passwords and even social accounts get monitored and checked by him. It wasn't all romance anymore. It became a reward system, you gave him your free time? Maybe he would be romantic. You let him control your friendships? Maybe he would tell you more about his weekends. Soon enough, you noticed it. Simon became the villain and for good reasons. He played the perfect part all too well, but only to those questioning stares and in those moments, it was perfection. 

When the stares looked away, he was the same Simon that had your heart trapped at the top of the castle. His anger and manipulative tactics become the dragon. Everywhere you went, his shadows lurked for you. When he said he wanted you to think of him every second of your waking life, he meant it. Will he approve of me talking to them? Your mind always asked that, even if the guy was just a friend, a literal friend and nothing more, Simon crept into your head. 

His childhood memories, being told to you, maybe it was for sympathy or maybe it was to make you think he wasn't the cold-hearted man who made you cry on Valentine's Day. "Simon! Do you not understand how rude and mean that was?!" Your heart was stabbed by his actions on that day. "R/N, you are being dramatic!" A gift that you went out of your way for in the hands of a woman who is supposed to be a best friend of yours. Two people were lied to this day, you and the naive of your best friend. "I did it, it was for you! when I made it, my mind went to you! Gosh Simon, why can't you see how rude this was!" He walks to you, hands gripping your body. "You are acting like a goddamn child R/N!" He shook you, thinking it would make you understand better. "I'm not the one dating someone young now am I?" The anger that left your mouth, oh that sent him over the edge. "Don't you fucking dare!" he said through gritted teeth. "I'm still growing, you are a grown man who doesn't even think for a moment that your fucking girlfriend did something for you! I did that and that fucking girl thinks you did it for her!" You push him and he gives you that stare. The same one your father gave you when he was made and was ready to yell and punch walls. 

Three weeks later, that is how long it took you to do it. "I'm being serious Simon, it's over." Your voice is cold and he scoffs with a low chuckle. "Aren't you too young to make the decisions here, doll?" That voice, how he gave you a condescending tone and how he approached you. "I think I'm more mature than you to know this is wrong. Me loving you is wrong and it's dead...this is over." He shakes his head and walks away furious. For weeks he called you, maybe to haunt you but every time you answered, it was the same old thing. Random numbers during class, lunch or at night called you. When they stopped, you sighed and for the first time, you smiled, a genuine one. 

The day you broke up with him was still fresh on your mind. He was a strong man, that is no doubt, so if he wanted to, he could harm you so easily. Your friend theorised that he could make you disappear, all to keep the pretty little young lover near. It is true what they say, there will always be a reason men like him stay alone for long. There's a reason why they date younger ones and not women who know best. Sometime later, that best friend approaches you, unaware of what happened between you and Simon. 

"He told me what happened." But he told her lies, told her that it was you that was the problem. After she gave you his truth, you gave her the real truth. "So...the...gift, it wasn't really from him-" "No, and I'm not asking for anything back, not at all. Just, be careful, he...he isn't the man he says he is and please...please for your own sake stay away." That same day, you found out he asked me to meet up. I thought he meant as friends, since well I thought I was his friend." She wouldn't do it, you thought. "And at first I was okay with it until he kept asking over and over. I felt weird about it because it didn't seem like it would be a friendly meet-up, I said no, out of respect for you." You hugged her. "I know he was asking to hook up but I can't do that, not to my best friend." she hugged back and you two soon talked more. 

Simon, oh that man was a mess. He soon engaged when your young heart was still grieving him behind doors. His fiance tagged people you knew, those people, some, told you he moved on. This was a game plan. Tell the young lover what was lost and maybe, they'll come running to you. It hurt but it didn't work. You noticed how happy he was. How much more he changed and in your head, you asked why he couldn't change for you. You look at the lovers that pass by, how the guy treats his girl and for a moment, you wish that was you. 

Memories come every night. 

Winter. No one knew how your heart felt for him but he did. His body is close to yours as he wraps you with the blanket, he kisses your shoulder and smiles. The art of making love was something he was an expert in. 

Summer. He takes you on midnight rides. Holds your hand and sings along with you. Your hair is in the wind as his lips meet your hand. Simon, the man who taught you so much now making you cry on the way home. 

Autumn. Your dad heard your cries as Simon explained to you why he wouldn't go to you. A woman moans on his side of the phone, "it was the movie," he explains so easily. 

Spring. Filled with arguments, tears and sex. Manipulation works its way to your body. "Fuck you!" You cry as he yet again reminds you that you are young and stupid. He degrades you this way. Reminds you that he has the upper hand for being older than you. 

You later learn he had another girl while being with you. His free time is shared between you and some other girl. Your bed is drenched in tears of regret and sorrow. The headphones blasted the words your heart cried for. 

For moments, he was liberty, fun, happiness and love. Now, when you look back at it, Simon Riley was the man who lived as the dragon of the castle, the one you had to fight off to regain your heart. You hated him for what he was. Your heart, body and soul kept him like a sword oath. The same one that had you overthinking. Did you ask for too much? Were you even a good girlfriend? 

Get out of my head, you cry. "If we had been closer in age, maybe you would understand what I wanted." He texts you some random day. That night, your friends held you as you cried in some bar. The last time you saw him was on your twenty-first birthday. Your mum asked for something from the store, so as you walk down the busy streets, your eyes catch a glimpse of him. His gaze catches yours. It was then you learned that this would be the last time you cry over him. He is dead to you, something to be proud of. 

It was then he learned you were the only good thing he had. His ex-fiance out of his life, just like you but unlike her, you were good. 

"Simon!" Your laughter fills the lounge room. "I told you, doll, this is what you get for that tickle," Simon's deep laugh belonged to yours. It's a melody. The fireplace, the laughs, the kiss after and how you both panted from an intense tickle fight. It was rare but beautiful. You cup his face, "I love you," you whisper and he grins. "oooh I knew it!" he picks you up again and you laugh. 

This is the end of the warm time

As you walk past the park, you think of the old times. It is bittersweet. The way things ended, the way he loved you, kissed you, it was good until it wasn't. Simon Riley is a man on many faces, one you know all too well. 

Love, what a miserable thing to be a part of when you had him. 

A/N: so....there's that...

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[echo]

this is a response to @anarcho-yorpism's tag for me in this post. i'm not directly rbing bc that post is long and it has a lot going on in the notes.

anyway please note all of my responses here are my own, and not representative of Staff or tumblr. i am not T&S and have zero power to make any moderation decisions here.

with that disclaimer:

Predstrogen received a message from Tumblr saying she was banned for "sexual content". If she was not, why was she told this, why were her transition photos removed, and why has she still not been told the actual reason? (I understand not making it public, but it is your policy to tell the user) If she was, what was this sexual content, if not her transition timeline?

i can't really directly answer this for few reasons. firstly, i feel that staff shouldn't talk about her anymore bc i feel this continued controversy will only attract more harassment for her on other platforms.

secondly, as a low-level staffer talking about moderation decisions can get me, y'know, fired. i'd prefer not to do that.

also just like... i want to avoid getting into a narrative of "well she did bad things so she deserves it" or whatever. idc if she broke the rules or not, she didn't deserve what happened.

i know this isn't terribly satisfying to hear, but i'd like to be honest about why i'm not saying more at least.

If you can't answerblegal questions, ignore this question: The NYCLU settlement agreed that Tumblr would fix its moderation so it targeted transfem users less. Why has there been no comment on the settlement and actions taken since? There could genuinely be a large legal case against Tumblr after this, and I love this site and don't want that to happen. Also, wasn't it illegal under GDPR to release her usernames?

i'm not able to answer legal questions. i don't know the exact text of the agreement, but it mostly boiled down to some training and stuff from my personal experience there.

however not as a staffer but as NYC trans human: i would not put a ton of faith in the NYCCHR. they have some noble goals but they are a chronically underfunded city agency that in practice does very little to curb real-world violence against marginalized people. i tried to use them myself when my landlord was kicking me out right after i had surgery and they didn't even get back to me until months after everything resolved. nobody i know in the community out here has been helped by them off the top of my head.

i have sincere doubts in relying on the state to help people here.

A lot of transfem users don't like vague language like "prioritize", especially given point 2 and Matt's statement that improving moderation was not on the agenda. I understand you can't reveal company secrets in an already risky post, but we would like to see the specific actions taken after this, given a lot of broken trust by what @\photomatt has said. Are any of the trans women banned recently for "sexual content" going to have their accounts restored?

i don't know. i'm pushing internally for at least a review of everyone suspended to see if the less egregious stuff can be reversed. but like i said, i don't have a ton of power as i'm not in charge of anything.

and yeah, "prioritize" is vague corpo-speak. i know some stuff is shifting internally and what we said does match what is happening inside. but also... i've been disappointed before.

i can say i'm tentatively optimistic. people are responding seriously, and being asked our opinions for once is pretty nice. but also, systemic stuff is hard. i trust in my fellow workers and i'll continue to fight until i can't anymore.

so... yeah. i genuinely wish i can be more informative here, but what we wrote (and i want to emphasize we here, it was not just me by any stretch!!) is what we can say in an official capacity.

i'm just frustrated, tired, angry, depressed... and also weirdly hopeful?

#me #asks #staff info

[dragondemoness]

Hey!! It's 🌼 Anon again ❤️! (Here with angst as you have wanted 😈)

I wanted to know if I could request fuyuhiko (a bit of a new thing for me 💀), mondo, Chihiro, ryoma, and Akane with a s/o that has horrible luck when it comes to dating. (projection 😯) like everyone they've dated ended up being horrible, it didn't go well or work well, something s/o couldn't control was an issue, ect.

And it's to the point thier scared of being with someone, going out with someone, ect. Or feel like it's the world telling them that they shouldn't date anyone or that they'll never be loved. Kinda a hurt/comfort but I don't want you to hold back on the hurt part 🥹 (still want some fluff though 😣💕 obviously)

Your wish is my command >:3

Warnings: Yelling, swearing, minor arguments, insecurities

Fuyuhiko, Mondo, Chihiro, Ryoma and Akane With an S/O Who Has Bad Luck with Dating

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu

He doesn't get why you're so anxious around him

Sure, he's a yakuza boss, but it's not like he's killed anyone

Recently

He's been as gentle as he can be, but you're still so stiff when you're out together

You can barely even make eye contact with him

It kind of frustrates him honestly

On your fifth date, he planned to make things official

But you stared at your lap and fidgeted with your fingers anxiously

At that point, he had enough

"Look, I've done everything I can do for you, and you can't even look me in the fuckin' eyes! What the hell is your problem?! You're lucky I even asked you out, and you're just gonna sit around like an ungrateful little--?!"

He stopped himself before he could finish

That unfortunately made things worse, and you stood up and rushed out with tears in your eyes

He internally berated himself for being stupid before going after you

"Hey, uh... Look, I'm sorry for blowin' up at you. I just don't get why you're so afraid to date me. I've been trying to be gentle, but like... I-Is there something I'm missing?"

"...What's the point?"

"Huh?"

"Every date I've been on, everything went to shit. It either ended right in the middle, something came up and we had to stop, or my date turned out to be a gigantic asshat. And this one didn't go well either, so what's the point in trying anymore? The universe clearly doesn't want me to be happy."

Fuyuhiko looked at you in sadness

He felt even worse for lashing out at you before

He awkwardly approached you and placed his hand on yours

"...I'm sorry. I had no idea."

After that, he asked to give it another shot, and you agreed

He promised to be gentler and more patient with you, and he delivered

He got better at containing his anger, and you started feeling more and more comfortable with him

Once he officially asked you out, things only got better from there

He really likes you, and he doesn't want to ruin it, especially after so many of your other dates had gone wrong before

Chihiro Fujisaki

He doesn't have a lot of experience with dating

The few crushes he did have were put off by him, either by him "being weak for a boy," or by dressing as a girl

But you were sweet to him, and you never judged him for anything

So naturally, he got feelings for you and asked you out

He made conversation with you, but you seemed really uncomfortable for some reason

He was worried that he did something wrong, and he got anxious too

"Hey, um... Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"Huh? No, it's just... Every date I've been on went wrong, and I just don't seem to have good luck with these things. And I like you a lot, so I really want this to work out, but... The universe doesn't seem to want that for me."

He looked at you sadly before taking your hand in his

"I'm sorry to hear that, (Name). I know it might feel that way, but you deserve to be happy. And if you don't want to continue this date, I understand. But I'll never do anything to hurt you, I promise."

He then gave you a reassuring smile that helps ease your doubts

He seemed genuine, so you agreed to keep it going

And ever since then, he treated you with nothing but kindness

He understood your worries and was very patient with you

And you ended up developing a nice relationship

Mondo Owada

He's also not the most gentle guy

He's loud, he's scary, he's angry

But he fell for you, and he asked you out

Even the way he approached you was intimidating, but you gave it a chance, even though you knew it was probably gonna go to hell

While you were on the date, you kept your gaze away from his and only spoke when he spoke first

He doesn't remember acting like a jerk to you, so why are you so weird around him?

Eventually, he got frustrated and slammed his hands on the table

"Hey! What the fuck's your problem?! I took time out of my day to take you on a date, and this is the thanks I get?! I didn't do a damn thing to you, and you're clearly into me, so why don't you fuckin' act like it?!'

That caused you to tear up and bail on the date, leaving Mondo there alone, feeling angry at himself

He left you alone for the rest of the night before approaching you the next day with a bouquet of flowers

"Hey, uh... Look, sorry about yesterday."

You looked at him in surprise

Anytime someone bailed on a date or lashed out at you, they never apologized or tried to reach out to you

You could only stare at him in surprise, making him feel even more awkward

"Jeez, what's that look for? I'm tryin' to make it right."

"But... Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you trying? Every date I've ever been on ended terribly, and so did ours. The universe clearly doesn't want me to date anyone, so why are you here?"

He looked at you in surprise, and he finally understood your behavior from the night before

He felt even worse for lashing out at you

"Hey, look. I'm sorry for yelling at you last night. I was just mad that you were acting so weird, but now I get it. It's not gonna happen again, I swear. So... If you wanna give this another shot, what do you say I pick you up at 8:00? I swear this date will be better."

You were hesitant, but you agreed

And true to his word, Mondo was much more gentle with you

The date went much better, and as you kept going out together, you started to find hope again

Ryoma Hoshi

He's not loud or angry, just really quiet and awkward

He's not really the type of guy who chooses to socialize in his free time

But he still ended up falling for you, and after he came to terms with it, he asked you out

For some reason, you were even more stiff and awkward than he was

He found himself trying to start the conversation, in sharp contrast to his usual quiet demeanor

Eventually, he just asked what the issue was

"Hey, kid. Did I do something to make you uncomfortable? If you're just awkward, I get it, but is there anything I can do to make it easier?"

"No, it's not you. I just don't have great luck when it comes to dating."

"Oh."

Is that all?

He's not gonna ask what happened, but he lets you know that he's really into you, and that he's not gonna ditch you or treat you badly

You're the only one who's ever made him feel this way, and he's damn well not gonna screw it up

Akane Owari

She's not terribly aggressive, but she's not the most gentle either

She's well-known for her strength, and for getting violent on occasion

But she has a gentle side, and it caused her to develop feelings for you

She was confident when she asked you out, but she didn't know just how nervous you were

Seeing you so stiff and uncomfortable confused her, and she didn't ask about it until you tried to make an excuse to leave

"Hey, what gives? Aren't ya havin' a good time? Come to think of it, you've been actin' weird this whole time. What's your deal?"

"Sorry, it's just... I've gone on dates before, and none of them went well at all. It was either the person I was with, or something came up that I couldn't control. I just don't have good luck with these things."

"Ohhhh. Well, you don't hafta worry. I'm not gonna hurt ya or anything like that. I'm really into you, ya know? And I'm definitely not gonna screw over a sweet person like you!"

With that, you continued your date, and you grew more comfortable as you did so

Now that Akane knew about your past unfortunate experiences, she made sure to be patient with you, and not to get too aggressive with you

And your relationship only got better from there

#danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa killing harmony #fuyuhiko kuzuryu x reader #mondo owada x reader #ryoma hoshi x reader #akane owari x reader #chihiro fujisaki x reader

[viviennelamb]

I don't like that lesbians dismiss the high rates of domestic violence in their relationships. Domestic violence is high in all relationships because its inline with lust, but there's no reason to deflect to heterosexuals when this issue is brought up. Nobody cares about lesbians, not even other lesbians.

Manly lesbians act like they "love women better" but can't. They see you as an object to take their rage out on because they're emotionally regressive. Sex-addicts of all genders and orientations have a shrunken amygdala and destroyed medullas, becoming violent animals (with the help of porn as well). A lot of lesbians are proud psychopaths and they need to get with each other and fight it out instead of preying on innocent lesbians cause sane & sober lesbians with dignity and standards aren’t going to deal with it just because we have a small population anymore.

Hope this trend keeps going cause these dickless men are abusive too and time is up for people who don't know what love is. They're all suffering and they don't even know it, but I'll be nice in this post due to its subject matter…

I wouldn't be able to handle somebody hitting me. That's so scary and my heart goes out to any of you who have dealt with that. I'm shocked at how indifferent people are about it, downplaying it because it's two women.

I get creeped out when somebody lies to me. I remember when it happened once and it was out of fear over something that could've been discussed. I could tell she lied because she panicked over a past experience which is the only reason why I forgave her, but I was doubting everything she was telling me from that point on. Couldn't help it. Usually, I have zero tolerance for lies, it's an indication of manipulative behavior. Her lie was believable too and the only reason why I found out it was a lie was because she confessed.

This same person went on to yell at me because of her jealousy over an imagined scenario and in my mind I was done with her, had a feeling that she had violent tendencies and left. Let her tell it, I was the one in the wrong for not putting up with it because she's used to abusing people and them staying because "it's hard to meet other lesbians." Sorry, but I don't subscribe to that mindset. I always leave whenever I'm unhappy. People who have God aren’t desperate.

I talk about about mental illness frequently because the stats on mental health are wrong, most of the population is senile. When somebody comes out of left field accusing me of something I know nothing about and they're convinced that it happened, that's terrifying to me. Then I start tripping out and start wracking my brain to see where they're coming from cause I want to resolve the situation, but they're just fucked in the head. I just don't want to deal with people who don't live in reality anymore. I used to try to convince them that everything was fine, but they're so aggressive, I just let them believe and say whatever they want.

You know what's normal to me now? Getting dismissed when I bring up an issue. I'm told it's not a big deal, I should get over it, I should go live alone in the mountains if I can't handle it, etc, but people don't understand that I only make an effort to set boundaries and communicate if I want somebody in my life. I'm very introverted, like if I go the mall for 30 minutes that's all the socializing I need for three months both online and offline. I only have social energy for people who are genuinely kind and enjoyable to be around. I don’t deal with people with difficult personalities because I know I don't have to and when there's no incentive to do something, I won't do it. Stories of people putting up with abuse on any level are incredible to me. I've never met a single person who was worth that in any capacity because when I did I was always burned.

When somebody dismisses what I say, they're telling me they don't want me in their life and I do them a favor and leave. I heard that the person who lied and yelled at me said I overreacted over "small things" and said some assholish things that I wouldn't even dream to say about her, but when I did my best to put my feelings aside for her sake dozens of times that was shat on. Selfish people can't see how hard you work to accommodate their trauma, so I'm not doing it anymore and if you shouldn’t either.

The only reason why I bothered with people like this is because they have so much potential, but the one in particular I’m talking about she was the type who was prideful about her trauma and “went through so much more then you,” even though she was so self-absorbed she didn’t even ask once about me. All mentally ill people to is hallucinate and project. And yes, if somebody is violent, that person is mentally ill and criminal… they don’t need a diagnosis or a felony to get that label.

Now I don't try to make things work with people after an initial attempt to set boundaries or explain my perspective anymore. These people are not only liars and emotionally abusive, but they don't hold themselves accountable... that's a precursor for violence and lacking willpower is the natural progression of becoming nasty work. They could heal very quickly if they wanted to, but they don't want so why should I care about their karmic circumstances when they don't? Why should I have sympathy for them when they don’t have any for me?

Even though I never get apologies from people who lack self-awareness, I don't forgive low effort apologies anymore. I need to see paper trail documentation of long-term change to let somebody back in my life, they're too much of a spiritual liability otherwise. I'm not stupid enough to think I'm exempt from being treated poorly by people who lie, cheat and steal. I know I'm going to be the target eventually. I'm not vain, I don't dream on their behalf and I don't see potential anymore, I live in the present moment and if I don't like what I see right now, I'm out. No more communicating, I'm utilizing silence to its fullest extent. Silence is the only thing I have never regretted. Silence speaks the loudest and is the only thing that incites change. The more you talk and give them your attention, the more you enable them. Silence is the scariest thing an unhealed person can experience.

People who emphasize communication are predators. Don't listen to their guilt trips and don't communicate with them more than necessary, just leave when your heart tells you to and stay resolute in your decision. Have faith you did the right thing and don't fall into the belief that you acted too soon. You know you didn't. You can't collaborate with people who don't respect you enough to consider your perspective.

The thing is, abusive people will never leave you regardless of how much they say you're not good enough for them or that you're incompatible, so don't take it as a compliment when they keep you around. (Ask them, "then why are you with me?" and they won't have an answer). I took that as that person being patient with my lack of trust even though it was the other way around, I was patient with her lack of trustworthiness. Let them take that bullshit to the next person and fuck up somebody else's life and accept them as a lesson.

Abusive people will drain you for everything you have because they're parasites. The new word they're using now is "co-regulation" even though you feel like garbage when they're around, getting the benefits of your energy... you're the host, honey. And to attack somebody they say they love?? unfathomable. I don't know who needs to read this, but don't ever let anybody put their hands on you again. I don't give a fuck who they think they are to you. You're worth more than that motherfucker and you know it. An even mind is a rare trait and you have to work your ass off to get it. Calmness doesn't come naturally to anybody in a world like this.

#they will love how calm you are but want you to change that when you don't match their psychological mayhem on their terms... #and when you have a bad day they won't give you the same grace you gave them for their bad months. not even one sentence of compassion. #give them refuge they give you contempt in return. #and then if you withdraw due to their callousness you need to work on yourself to be a better social slave for them... #masturbators can't love and will never understand the gentleness you've reserved only for them. #any love given to them is wasted. now my love is 100% introverted. #now I reserve my gentle nature for God and I only smile for God & Guru.

[furiousgoldfish]

(osdd, personal, tw suicidal ideation)

So I know I just posted about how happy I am to be back, but I am also incredibly confused and have nobody to talk to about this, so I'm going to try and sort out my thoughts here.

After I came back, I didn't hear any other alter in my head, I assumed they understood I was too overwhelmed with emotions to take care of them all, and maybe some of them just didn't wanna talk to me anymore because I was mute for 6 months. However, I soon found myself depressed, sick and starving, because I will be generally too sad to make food or to eat. Sickness has caused me severe pain but I'm used to waiting it out, pain feels normal. And also, it seems that my old protector, who used to jump in when things were going bad, isn't here anymore.

My old protector was working tirelessly to block any suicidal thought I had, before I even had it, so that I was unaware of how suicidal I am. I knew this was going on only because this alter showed me exactly what they do, and let me experience genuine suicidal thoughts I had for 2 days, and it was like, endless stream of suicidal thoughts, very difficult to deal with. And just to be clear I'm not even suicidal, I want to live, the reason I have a stream of suicidal thoughts is just because life is so unmanageable and painful, the suicidal thoughts just get naturally generated, because the brain is looking for an exit from all that pain. I think naturally, some things are worse than death, like torture, or endless pain, and we as a community understand that. And I'm often exposed to that kind of pain so my brain is just like, 'ummm isn't it time to cut this shitshow short', and then my protector would be like NO and block the thoughts so I would just be 'yeah pain is normal lets keep going' and that's just my life.

Anyway, after a few days of not eating enough, I started hearing an alter just yelling at me to buy food, very determined and persuasive, they were listing all the things I needed to get, and I'm very reluctant to do such a thing, but the alter was very insistent that I absolutely have to, so I got some food, immediately ate it. Then later I was in too much pain to be able to fall asleep and they yelled at me again, to take pain medicine, and they kept on and on until I eventually took some.

To me being yelled at felt like someone caring so I'm quite content with this, but I don't know who this alter is, I cannot recognize them. Even though I had alters yell at me about things before, it was never really like this, in this protective manner, they just yelled about things they wanted. I wanna know who this is, and they're not telling. And why can't I hear anyone else? I doubt they all merged or disappeared, unlikely.

It also seems that the only method this protector has to protect me is to yell at me until I do whatever is necessary for survival, they can't block my thoughts or take over and do it, which has me a little concerned. I'm used to protectors just taking over and doing things that I can't, and physically preventing me from taking any suicidal actions, and now I have to be persuaded to do it myself.

Part of me is enjoying that I can have all of my thoughts now, even the suicidal ones, but I can also easily be pushed into suicidal ideation, especially when in pain, I feel a bit on edge, like something bad could happen at any moment and I wouldn't have good protective measures to deal with it.

Also it feels like my body was just waiting for me to be back to spring into all kinds of illnesses and pain, while the other host, who does not feel emotions, was active, we weren't even sick! I am starting to believe that getting in touch with all the traumatic emotions just destroyed my immune system completely, half of my body is inflamed and it's not even getting better, and I can't even chew solid food. And also I have nobody to talk to and I'm just trying to hang on and believe that it will not always be like this and eventually I will find a way to heal.

#continuation of being the host again #but it's not fun anymore :( #sickness #trauma #maybe i need to be less in touch with emotions after all #for the sake of physical health

[barbiegirldream]

Related to Q/T (not very Dream sympathic even though I'm a big fan) : I doubt it's for clout, Tommy has always been pretty consistent about doing what he likes.

I think it's just simply what happened for all the streamers (Q, Slime, Phil, Tommy...) and that's why the skit is like that, bc it's what happened for them. Because I really don't see Tommy just switching on his friends, especially not for clout.

BUT, and that's what is so terrible about this situation, they just don't get how much hatred is throwned at dream fans and Dream himself ? Like, for them it was a "Q didn't say anything bc he doesn't have to say anything. Dream copied, he deal with the accusations it's his own bed." So Q not saying anything is OKaying the USMP and Dream is a drama queen for airing public messages and overreacting. In that vision, Dream is the one breaking the friendship, creating drama for nothing, and overreacting. Not continuing the USMP is Dream's decision (and that's something so many people are saying against it !).

But that's completely disregard the amount of hate and vitriol the USMP got because they can't know, you don't know how hard someone can be harrassed. The space with at least 1k of people doxxing Dream ? The ss where there was a coordinate effort to attack him ? I remember externs mocking us for speaking about "sending assassins" before realizing that oh, actually it happened.

So I do get Tommy's video : Dream should have stayed silent about everything and just went "the USMP will not happen yet, wait for it". But I dislike how that take completely disregard that he was pressed by very real hatred both online and IRL, and that's something that people love to ignore about Dream and his stans.

So yeah. Dream made his bed, but I'd like for once to have those guys have the same pressure put on them and see how they react.

PS : absolutely hate to see people discard that T made his own reputation and that he should be thankful for Dream's friendship. I can't bother to watch him anymore, but he is talented and has always been pretty straight about himself. It's also more than getting on the QSMP.

Sorry if it cloggs for asks, it was a bit long and not very positive. Feel free to ignore, your blog just made me feel free enough to share this.

None of this is true tho... like no one thinks Dream aired private messages there were no private messages. they made fun of the long twit longer because they can't genuinely comprehend someone stalking and committing crimes bad enough for the FBI to get involved. They genuinely think Dream is lying out of his ass unaware this isn't even the first time it's happened to Dream. You know who's more than aware? Tommy more than any other random CC on the internet knows exactly what happened to Dream because Dream talked Tommy through the same debacle. Tommy just had an entire livestream tour around England telling everyone how Dream protected him and prepared him because of Dream's experience with criminals trying to ruin his life. This round of doxxing happened because they wanted Dream scared enough to not do the USMP which it worked he didn't they won. But it's still not enough. These freaks spend all their time tweeting about Dream because he's all they care about. QSMP is just their new camp from which to throw grenades at Drean.

Tommy's reputation is as a Dream SMP streamer it's all he ever wanted his reputation to be. Tommy's youtube channel is based off the DSMP. Tommy literally said with his own mouth you can thank Dream for everything about his channel because Dream told him how to do everything from thumbnails to video descriptions. I remember during Minecon Tommy going I had a brilliant idea and by that I mean Dream had an idea and I went oh yeah that's good. Tommy has never ever in the past shied away from giving Dream and anyone else who inspired him their flowers. The simple truth is he probably thought he could get away with the joke and being a teenage boy comes with an inherent cruelty to it 🤷‍♀️

[not-a-perfect-metaphor]

Hi! How are you doing? I wanted to get your opinion on another drama in the fandom after The Winchesters finale. All I get from it is facepalm. I don't remember reading it here or elsewhere, but it was saying that after the spn finale, we're in for a deliberate campaign to break the bond between J2 in the public eye. And they clearly succeeded. It's like many fans have gone crazy and can't stop saying for years that J2 were never friends or about friendship breakdown and betrayal. And this is despite the fact that J2 are still close and dear to each other. They still want to work together and will definitely restart spn one day. Not to mention them as a strong couple who have been through a lot. And I think this kind of drama is even good for them. J2 tinhat not much left and not as much attention and emphasis on them anymore. Even just j2 fans are hard to find. There are only individual aggressive fans of each of the J2 and crazy Hellers. At times I think it's even better that way. They can be together without worrying so much about damage control.

I’ve started and restarted this answer so many times, because I feel like it’s such a delicate topic but also something that definitely does need to be addressed.

And I thank you for taking the time to write it out so eloquently!

I guess I’ll start by saying that I absolutely have noticed the number of people jumping onto the anti-‘J2-togetherness’ train, to the point where I’ve been trying to figure out for a while now what factors could be contributing to it.

Mainly because the actual reality of the Js on a day-to-day basis does not match up with what’s been said (with what’s being said), and yes, there definitely have always been those who have projected their own discomforts/disappointments/opposing views etc. onto the Js. Of course we all know that, but you’re certainly right about the fact that it’s become much more prevalent in recent months (I kind of feel like it’s been happening ever since the sequel debacle, really).

And on that note, I do think the issues surrounding the sequel undeniably planted seeds of resentment/negative feelings in probably a pretty big percentage of at least the individuals who were once pro-J2 and who are now anti-J2, and I’m not about to pass judgment on anyone or try to claim that anyone’s feelings/opinions are wrong or bad, because that’s never been what I’m about here.

What I have always said about the prequel drama is essentially this-

The strength of the 15+ year relationship between Jared and Jensen allowed them to heal from all of that, and even in the midst of it, I never doubted they would…and they absolutely, 100% have.

That’s honestly what genuinely matters, at least as it pertains to our discussion about the closeness/trust/love between the two of them, and I guess I would just say…or I would hope…that anyone holding onto their own disappointments might at least be able to distinguish between their own feelings and how the Js have stated and shown they feel.

But again, to each their own.

The other element to mention, I think, is the glaringly obvious one, and something I’ve touched on a few times since the wrapping up of SPN.

It was always going to be really difficult for us, on the outside looking in, to no longer (for now, anyway) get to experience that amazingly personal and constant view of Jared and Jensen’s relationship to the degree we’d all become so accustomed to throughout the decade and a half of SPN, and I think some people lost sight of the fact that just because we’re not able to witness as much of their time together/hear about as much of their relationship/etc. doesn’t mean it isn’t still happening.

And yes, it’s common sense. But I think for some, probably those who weren’t as heavily invested in the first place (although that’s just speculation), the shift was misinterpreted as being linked to a decline in the Js intimacy instead of simply a decline in the amount of that intimacy we get to see.

As for a more formal ‘set-up’ of these rumors and speculations, that’s not something I’ve been privy to or heard anything about, although I’ll absolutely agree with you on the fact that whether there was any staging or simply just the natural progressions one would expect, the dimmed spotlight on the nature of Jared and Jensen’s relationship has certainly allowed them some more freedom and peace, which of course is a good thing.

And it’s not anything we didn’t all realize would happen, those of us who’ve been around for this for as long as we have been. We’ve been talking it over since the start of SPN’s final season.

Digging into these anti-J2 posts, I can tell you that what I personally found is that the vast majority of them, as has always been the case, are originating from hellers, with a small (although, yes, increased) percentage of them seemingly coming from previously pro-J2 folks.

In the end, I guess I’d really love to hear from others and get any additional opinions on this, so please, if you have something to add, let me know!

Edit: as far as J2 tinhats disappearing, I don’t think that’s actually necessarily the case. I know that I tend to vanish for sometimes quite long periods of time, but that’s always been the case, and I see the same group of us (not entirely, but the bulk of us) still wearing our hats and enjoying the Js here on Tumblr. 😊 So definitely hang in there, my friend!

#j2 #j2 tinhat #my ramblings

[nohrenvia]

this faint voice of mine.....

ー Synopsis : Arising out of thousands of voices, you've heard words upon words. However, their voice, could you hear it caressing your ears? Could you please spare this modest declaration of a humble, tainted soul, just a fragment of your audience? Just a moment, it would be enough.

ー Characters : La Squadra Esecuzioni

a/n. Valentine's day has passed but that won't stop me! Here's another piece which I wrote since a lot of you love its predecessors. Please enjoy!

♤ Nohr ♤

Formaggio

This person...is cruel. Dark humor and all, not the type to be favored by most people. Therefore, why did you remain by his side? Did you see something in him? A glint of interest, perhaps? Formaggio is all smiley and relaxed, yet sadism quietly flows in his blood. Mind you, he is a friendly fellow, but, it seems the line stops there. The days he spent with you was filled with ease, he doesn't feel burdened by your side, in fact, Formaggio relished in your banters. He'd hate to see you in pain, the image of your screams doesn't bring amusement if he or whoever in this earth inflicts it. Truthfully, he does had a sense of schadenfreude in other's suffering. But when you are involved, It is suddenly not fun anymore. He, instead, feared to lose you. Formaggio got attached to you, it seems.

As the color of orange blazes in the sky, both you and Formaggio halted on the stony steps of Italy, admiring the setting sun. In his cold and no-good life, Formaggio found a sense of earnest delight in your company. What is this? It's differs from his experience. The laid-back, sleazy life he went through without any regrets all led to this? Is someone pulling a prank on him? Formaggio himself is a scumbag not my words who possessed nothing meaningful, even his own stand. And now, something good is coming his way. It's free, it's pure, and it's feels pleasant.....positive. Can he stay with you? Even if the life he led was nothing short of depraved and disgusting, can he still come back to you? The warmth of your palm as it wrapped around his arm shrinks his doubt until it disappeared.

'Well, it can't be helped. Since ya' gonna be stuck with a guy like me, might as well enjoy the ride!'

Illuso

This arrogant little-- why on earth did you stay with him? Illuso is always confident in what he does, his confident is overflowing to the point you might see him as a pompous peacock. Nevertheless, his pride is his most valuable asset. But then, he came into your life. You didn't know where he'd came from, but you found yourself drawn to him more and more by his wry smile and unexpected gentleness. You probably knew that there's more to see behind Illuso's outer layer, he boasted about a lot of things which often unintentionally made him to be seen as condescending, it turns out, he was just being clumsy in his efforts to impress you. Illuso fell for you because you treated him genuinely. When you give praise, you truly mean it. His ego inflates, meanwhile his heart melts. Deep down inside his prideful heart, there are secrets that he would take to the grave, for example; If he has to cry for you to forgive him, so be it. If he has to grovel for your praise, so be it. If he has to lay down his life for you, so be it. If he has to abandon his pride along with his dignity for you..... so be it.

Illuso is a prick-- I mean, an unpleasant individual. He has enemies left and right thanks to that. And he treated you no different. He's really cold to you, he doesn't hesitate to threaten or mock you. It's normal for you to hate him, but in some way, both of you fell in love. Illuso is conflicted because he is a goddamn hitman for god's sake! He has no time to be soft. If necessary he would kill you to avoid getting attached. But that went out of the window as time passed and his heart undeniably yield to you . Still, his smug, mocking, and prideful attitude doesn't change even if you are added to the equation. Illuso doesn't want to admit that he loves you but he doesn't want to be without you either.

'Don't think for a moment that I, Illuso of the mirror, would abandon you.'

Prosciutto

Ah yes, the truest gangster of them all. The one with a lot of conviction and a solid principle. But, beneath his calm and composed demeanor, there lies certain worries and doubts. And you, as his lover, probably wouldn't notice it at first glance upon his serious attitude. The time when he was at his lowest, you are there beside him. Not to scorn or belittle, but giving him support. From that moment on, Prosciutto began to regard you the most valuable thing in his life. The gangster worked hard to give you only the best, whether it was food or clothes or any other things you need. This is Prosciutto's love language. By giving you gifts and services, he projected his desire for you to be his, and by extension, it reflects how afraid he is to lose you. Rather, he can't afford to lose the one he loves the most, the one who would held his hand through thick or thin. You are you, there is only one you in this rotten world, therefore Prosciutto would fight with tooth and nail, until all his bones are broken just to keep you by his side.

Prosciutto is not the perfect man others thought him to be. He tried, and by God, he really tried to hide his fears and shortcomings from you in order not to make you worry about him and his problems. But in a way, you found out anyways. He is disgusted at the way he has shown his weakness, his tears, to you. But you reassured him, it isn't true. All he knew is to stand tall against all odds without a chance to breathe or rest, hiding all of his human emotions with only objective goals in mind. His vulnerability and weakness won't make him less of a man and, for heaven's sake, it won't make you stop loving him, rigid gender roles be damned. The voices of his heart flooded through the gates he built inside, you listened... sincerely listened to it as if it was a song or a prayer. But the last one seems to be not of anguish, anxiety, frustration, nor fear, but this one is uttered out of hope. It is a testament to his will, his determination dedicated to you, and once dear old Prosciutto has decided to protect and cherish you, he would do so until the bitter end, until his life perished.

'It's decided then. From now on, you're my woman/man/lover!'

Pesci

Hmm... how do we explain the love of an indecisive and cowardly man?

Pesci is a not strong, not determined, not skilled, not brave, and... there's a lot of things that he is not. He loathes his uselessness, he hates it when the world reminded him time and time again that he is a weakling. He drowns in fear as he thought that you'll leave him due to his incompetence and flaws. Is it true? No. But will you stand and do nothing? Also no. In your own way, you sent a message to Pesci, a reminder saying that you won't leave despite of what he thinks of himself. Your love did actually stimulate Pesci's desire to strive and be better. It is not perfect however, in some days a twisted way of thinking grew inside Pesci, fertilized by his insecurity and inferiority, it's toxic strength.

Pesci thought it was empowering, but it only resulted in tears or sorrow, from you and him. No, this isn't what you want Pesci to become. Though he gains confidence after Prosciutto's sheer willpower inspired him, the incident bashed some sense into Pesci. He doesn't need to be cruel for the sake of strength, he just need to learn to rely on himself, put aside his doubt and anxiety, not for your sake but for the good of himself. Pesci doesn't like it to be called a mammoni, but for your and his sake, he'll try to encourage himself, believe in himself even though it sounds foolish. While it is a grueling quest, he'll do it step by step, just for you, his beloved who wouldn't abandon him. A small whisper, a wish he knew all too well, landed lightly on his mind. That whisper was Pesci's first stride toward a better outcome.

'I don't want you to think of me as a mammoni!'

Melone

Oh dear lord high up above in the heavens...

If you ask me, Melone is disgusting. Depraved, I tell you! No, I am not talking about his sexual tastes and perverted tendencies, I am referring to his head... his mind! Absolutely shoddy... he views humans as experiments, to him, they are his materials, his to use and to discard, and he doesn't even find any remorse, that is what I call disgusting.

Forgive me, I couldn't sugarcoat it. The first time Melone saw your face, your whole body, he deemed you as another useful tool. But, of course, the wheel of fate has other plans. Melone got another chance to know you... not your flesh and organs, but you as you are. Safe to say, he wasn't interested... at first. But, oh, how even the mightiest fall. Melone is surprisingly enamored by your whole being. Who knew this sociopath could feel and experience love. Maybe he wasn't mad at all? Melone saw his will crumbling before his eyes. You, who he thought is just a tool, became human in his eyes. Your voice is engraved to his memories and your eyes are the shades he won't forget anytime soon. 'No, no, no, no! This is not how it is supposed to be!' He thought. You were just another object... another breeding cattle. But how... how did you manage to ensnare him without even trying to? Melone, finally, had a taste of what true love is. To him, it was warm, so comforting that he forgot love is just a mixture of chemical reactions which ends in intercourse. So it was no surprise, at the end of the line, the thick-skinned, pitiless, depraved Melone broke down in front of you. As much as he hates to admit it, he has fallen for you. He is willing to give you his heart. How did it came to be? Who knows, you are the one who made him like that. Soon, that denial turned into excitement. A smidge of happiness is gifted to Babyface's user when you gave him true affection, then a laughable question flown from his mouth and into your bewildered, blushing face.

'Di molto! Would you like to make a non-stand baby with me?'

Ghiaccio

Oh, dear Ghiaccio. So cold and so hot-headed at the same time. But where did that self-assured Ghiaccio went when you came into his life?

Love is out of the question for White Album's user. He knew love was going to bring trouble in his role as a gangster and a hitman. But then, he is too focused on his ambitions and goals that he forgot to nurture himself. Well, not necessarily physical sustenance, but emotional sustenance. Ghiaccio is secretly more touch-starved than you thought. As you stroke his cheek, as a sign of your affection, you found Ghiaccio leaning into your touch. And you know what's the funny thing is? He won't admit it!

Poor Ghiaccio, when he felt such tenderness he could only be silent as he processed what was going on with his heart, which was beating faster than his stand. It started out as an occasional event, you gave Ghiaccio the attention and affection that you harbor, and he sensed his body becoming hotter due to the butterflies in his stomach. He felt as if the room's temperature has risen, to the point where he brought out his stand to cool it. And honestly it made you laugh. When you're by his side, his world has turned mellow, at times, he found himself giving you help, he also desired to drench you in his own affection. Mind you, Ghiaccio means well, but his way of showing it often comes as standoffish or harsh. But, know this, you're the only one who could keep Ghiaccio's level-headedness going, and staving off his outburst mostly about idioms. However, all in all, your presence within Ghiaccio's life made him question a lot of things. How impressive! You also have the ability to make the confident Ghiaccio doubts his thoughts, involving his skills, strength, determination, and many more. At the edge of it, Ghiaccio thought of one thing, about his stand, as he embraced you close, fingers combing through your hair as you both laid together in bed. He gazed upon your slumbering form, feeling his heart aching with yearning for you.

'What's the point of having superb stand powers if I can't protect you?'

Risotto Nero

Life is unfair but Risotto Nero is used to it. But who said Risotto Nero was heartless? From the start, he was someone who owned a loving heart. The proof? Oh, you might as well ask his dead cousin. After all, they were the first to know Risotto's loving heart. Well then, how far does Risotto loves you? Far enough that he is willing to kill for you, far enough that he is willing to die for you. He has lost someone he cherished in the past, he won't be a fool and let that happen to you.

Stoic and emotionless as he may be, what you don't realize is how heavy is his love is. You admit, there's a lot of hatred beneath his calm. Despite that, you chose to love him anyways, you love him and his damaged heart. And due to that, Risotto's true colors began to emerge once again. It's really surprising to find a cold-blooded assassin providing you warmth. No one expects that his bloodstained hands are gentle when it comes to you. For you and only you, Risotto Nero doesn't care of what life throws at him, because he found someone who he wishes to love and cherish for the rest of his life. To hell if all of Passione hates him and his team. As long as he has you, it's fine. And Risotto's not foolish enough to let you go. He'll fight the whole organization if it means you'll stay by his side. And even though you don't mind the whirlpool of violence, desperation, corruption, and death that resides in the mafia, Risotto has a different opinion.

'Blood doesn't suit you.'

#la squadra x reader #jjba x reader #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo x reader #risotto x reader #formaggio x reader #illuso x reader #pesci x reader #prosciutto x reader #melone x reader #ghiaccio x reader #la squadra

[yanderes-galore]

Ah crap I'm still in your room....

Uhhhhh... Oh yeah! Mind if I ask for a Miss Pauling with a Blu Scout darling? Like a concept? Maybe how'd she fair with a Scout who doesn't flirt? Maybe they're more into reading books rather than being the "Man-child" like Red scout?

Ah yea, here!

☕🍩

*Slowly no clips out of your room*

Here's one of the many Miss Pauling requests I got this run, lol. Here you go! You all really enjoy her, huh? ^^

Oooo, donuts :D Thanks 👍💜🍩

Yandere! Miss Pauling with BLU Scout! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Manipulation, Invasion of privacy, Implied stalking, Pauling being creepy with her crush again, Planned kidnapping, Implied forced relationship, Hypocritical beliefs.

Pauling no doubt gets tired of the flirting given by RED Scout.

He just doesn't understand she's not interested.

In fact with her job she shouldn't even be considering relationships.

She tells Scout, or Jeremy as his file states, that she has to keep her word.

She's relieved it at least deters him for a bit.

This alone sort of scares her to meet the scout of BLU team.

Are you going to be just as flirty as he was?

It was her job to check both teams monthly, even more so if they've recently gained new members.

You had been the new scout of BLU team.

She's been told you're promising... yet she did not keep her hopes up.

She sighs, bracing herself for the onslaught of failed date attempts.

. . . .

Yet they never came.

Pauling felt she could breathe easily when her personal space wasn't being violated.

She did wonder where you were though....

She decides to ask someone from the team.

"Where's your new scout?"

"(Y/N)? Oh, they're reading a book somewhere in the base."

"Reading?"

"Yeah, the last one never liked books. It's a nice change to not have someone acting like a child around here."

Pauling was... perplexed.

You certainly didn't sound like any scout she knew.

You must not be a clone.

This began her search for you somewhere in BLU base.

She thought she'd never find you, which was uncharacteristic yet again, until she saw you perched upon some barrels deep in a book.

Yup, you certainly looked different than the others-

Pauling clears her throat, causing you to glance up.

"Oh? You're the inspector lady, right?"

"... yeah. You can call me Miss Pauling. I check out the bases monthly to make sure you have all your members. You're new to BLU, right?"

"Yeah."

"Is BLU team treating you well?"

"Mhm."

"... you don't like flirting, right?"

"That's an odd question...."

Her first experience with you is rather dismissive on your end.

She asked questions, you gave curt answers.

She did tests and you were indeed capable of the scout role.

You were fast and well trained with a scattergun, pistol, and bat.

You were definitely a scout....

She was just surprised by your personality.

Pauling would enjoy the ability to communicate with a team without being flirted with.

In fact she can barely tolerate the RED Scout anymore.

She keeps thinking back to you, the new scout on BLU team.

Hell... the only scout who respects her boundaries.

Isn't it funny how she soon does the exact opposite with you?

She's upset Jeremy won't respect her boundaries...

She then meets you who respects her boundaries...

Then she proceeds disrespect your boundaries in a desperate chase to be closer.

It's ironic and sad.

You simply want to read/do your job and Pauling is trying to situate herself as your friend.

It's innocent at first.

Friends you don't mind.

You get along and talk whenever she has the time.

Then she feels she wants to be even closer to you... while you want to do your job.

She doesn't like to flirt, but with the amount of questions she asks you you'd swear she was.

Pauling is being manipulative without meaning to.

She essentially becomes your Jeremy.

There's times you ask your team to hide you when she comes around.

You genuinely can't handle her invasive questions.

She gets upset when you avoid her.

Perhaps even a little jealous you trust your team more than her.

Maybe this job wasn't meant for you.

Maybe she can pull you from the scout role and move you?

Pauling wonders if she can bring you to her team, PURPLE....

It's against code but she considers it.

It's funny how she said she shouldn't be considering relationships...

Yet here she is, already planning to remove you from this unfitting environment.

#yandere team fortress 2 #yandere tf2 #yandere miss pauling