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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #273

ew, wtf is this new /tagged formatting???? ugh.

What is something you dislike about the dating world? I haven't dated around enough to have first-hand experience, really. But from an outside view, people don't seem all that interested in serious commitment. Don't fwm if you aren't into the idea of working towards a whole lifetime together. What gives you confidence? Bitch nothing lmao. Have you ever dated someone with very different sexual tastes than you? No. What is the most meaningful gift you’ve ever given? Both Jason and Sara got a huge list of reasons I love them for certain relationship "milestones," both which really did take a long time because there were loads. I did it with each because I really did feel like it was a very personal, uplifting, and full-of-adoration gift, not just for the sake of recycling an idea because I had no others. I have a shitload of romantic ideas, ngl man. Do you feel as though someone ‘won’ in your last break up? Neither of us "won" or "lost," really. It was a mutual agreement that now just isn't the time for a relationship between us. Whatever happened to the first person you ever loved? Sometimes I'm scared to know. Do you still shop at the same stores you liked when you were a teenager? Yeah. Thankfully Hot Topic became more accessible to plus-size people. Is there anyone significantly older than you that you would date? No. I won't go over like... nine years. Even eight it pushing it. Please share your embarrassing and weird celeb crushes. Post pictures. What do you like about them? I don't have any "embarrassing" or "weird" ones. What is something your partner does that is unattractive to you? N/A What is something that would have made the show better/you would have liked to see happen on one of your favorite series? I honestly wish Weed in Ginga Densetsu Weed was more realistic and realized Hougen was worth killing himself. The lightning seemed cheap and anti-climactic. He had EVERY reason to kill him, and it sounds weird to consider killing as a form of growth, but I feel like it would've been. Maybe that's just a personal thing, believing killing is sometimes justified, but it actually annoyed me. Nevertheless, fucking fantastic show. How do you feel about celebrities that are silent about political or human rights issues? Do you think celebrities should use their platform to speak out? I have... mixed feelings. I think most of me says to use their prominence for good, to be a loud voice to look up to and bring greater attention to issues, but at the same time, some people just like/feel safer being non-political. When you were a kid, what child characters did you admire or relate to most? BINDI IRWIN!!!!!!!!!! I still follow and fucking adore her. Y'all she recently got married and she is just so beautiful and so happy and the Irwins are just genuinely angels on this earth. Tell me about a time that you were bored in a relationship (can be romantic or friendship). What was it about them/the situation that bored you? I've never been romantically bored, and not really with a friendship, either. Sure, I've been bored in another's presence, but it was never a consistent issue. Who’s your favorite Tiktoker? I have never even touched it. How high or low is the barrier to entry in your field or desired field? It's tough, but not that high. More than anything, photography depends on who you know to help get you out there, sadly. It's luck, too. There is most certainly skill involved, but yeah... building your brand up to stand out with only your own hands is ridiculously hard. But that's really any small business/self-employed position. Where would you look if you were looking for a job (e.g., indeed.com, company websites, asking a friend…)? I've pretty much always used Indeed, or I hear from family/friends. How much lower than your ideal salary would you take? What would the job have to entail for you to take a less than ideal wage? Hi, I live in America, where the government doesn't give a fuck if you can support yourself on minimum wage or not. :^) But anyway, this is a difficult question to answer with how little experience I have. I can say, however, that I will fucking not work to just barely scrape by with minimum wage. If I'm going to bust my ass, it's gonna be fucking worth it. Even if you were able to support yourself/your own family, would there ever be a situation in which you would choose to live in a shared house with another family or individual, be it your parents or a sibling’s family, or some other housemate? Sure, I wouldn't mind. Especially family. Do bridges make you nervous? To a degree. Are there any movies that you find so dumb, you find funny? Napoleon Dynamite, of course. How often do you vacation? Pretty much never ever. Do you think it’s cruel to leave a live fish to die in an ice box? I am genuinely concerned for you if you say no to this. Have you ever done anything sexual with someone of the same sex? Yes. Have you ever pawned anything off at a pawn shop? No. Do you have stomach abs? OH, HUNNY- Do you know anyone who is trying to physically impersonate a celebrity? No. Have you ever seen a shuttle launch? I mean, on TV, but even then I didn't seriously watch it. Are we having signs of the apocalypse? I don't believe in the "apocalypse." We're going to fall through natural methods. We're definitely heading deeper into destruction in some ways, though, by our own hands. I'm quite sure humans themselves will be the end of humanity. Would you rather see The Blue Man Group or Fear Factor live? BLUE MAN GROUP!!! They're dooooope. Do you have any exciting plans for this upcoming weekend? No. I'm staying in the goddamn house like we're fucking supposed to. What color of colored contacts would you like to have? To wear regularly? Sapphire blue. Ohhh, maybe one that, and the other icy blue. What’s on your bedside table? It's more a shelf than a table, so I have quite a bit. My medicine basket, fan, a drink, books, sketchbook, some other miscellaneous things. What’s on your bed? A bedsheet, comforter, two pillows, and me, ha ha. Your floor besides furniture? Nothing. Your dresser? All my meerkat stuffed animals, plus some others. The top shelf in your closet? Ha, good question. Are there any dead stuffed animals in your house? No. What’s the best prize you’ve won on an amusement park/carnival game? *shrug* Have you ever done anything sexual in a school? No, I was a good noodle. Have you ever been indoor skydiving? No. Would you have any interest in going on a cruise? Not really. What did you have for dinner last night? I made some hot wings. What's your ideal indoor temperature? High 60s, ig. It’s hard to really tell because my room is always the hottest in the house and I have a fan on me, so I don’t really feel the “normal” temperature most of the time. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. What's the grossest thing u have found in your food? Probably nothing worse than a hair or something, idk. Are you a flip flop lover? I am NOTORIOUS for wearing flipflops absolutely year-round. A little bit of snow on the ground? I’m wearing my gd flipflops because they’re just easy to slide on and I care about convenience probably too much lmao. What namebrand dishwashing liquid do u use? … Dawn, I think? I don’t really pay attention. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? UGH yesssssssssss hunty. Do you prefer hard or soft shell tacos? I hate tacos, but I’d definitely rather have a soft shell than hard. Ever worn a flower in your hair? Maybe as a kid? Name five random things in your kitchen? Nothing abnormal, really… no, wait. You know those sticky cylinder things that flies are attracted to and die a slow death for their brazen intrusion upon your property? We have one of those hanging up in there. Magnets and pictures on the fridge is considered pretty normal, right? Name four things in your fridge? Milk, apples, a bigass bag of pepperoni, and some cold water bottles because I strongly prefer cold water. Name two things in your meds cabinet? We’ve got a load… Different kinds of pain pills, things like Pepto, etc. Name six things in your family room? A couch, a reclining chair, the TV, Mom’s bed, loads of pictures on the walls, and uh… sidetables? Name three things in your bedroom? My snake, my bed, and my dresser. Name three things in your yard? A bird feeder that squirrels like to steal from, a random fucking dolphin statue thingy that deadass looks like a distorted dick (it’s been here since we got here, idfk), and two sheds. Name two things in your bathroom? Our bathroom is tiiiny, so very normal stuff. Y’know, a toilet and sink. What health problems do you have? A lot that I don’t feel like thinking through. Fave name brand of water? Essentia. Do you have a trampoline? Not since I was a teenager. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? Jam to make a pb&j. Do you like clowns? No opinion. Are you listening to anything at the moment? Surprisingly nothing, but Halocene’s cover of “My Immortal” is seeeeeriously jammed in my head. Do you twitch when your falling asleep? YES. They’re more like muscle spasms. Are your dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? We don’t have one; we have to wash by hand. Buuut that house we’re moving into has one! :’) When is the last time you were on a bicycle? Not since I was a teenager. I used to love love loooove to ride my bike after school. What have you eaten today? Special K cereal and aforementioned sandwich. Do you own a strapless bra? Fuckin Y I K E S that would not work w/ my size lmfao. Does the person you like know it? Ye. Did anything brighten up your day today? Our lawn FINALLY got mowed and the bushes trimmed. We had to tidy it up before we can move. It looked like a jungle, deadass serious. Do you ever wonder how other people see you? Only all the time. What is one good thing you're known for? I write well. How about one bad thing? I’m very dependent. When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? Wow, no clue. I rarely sing, never mind an entire song. What is one thing that is currently bothering you? Actually my stomach kinda hurts. What did you do today? Wander around the Internet looking for something to even mildly entertain me, play World of Warcraft for a very brief period since I’m going through a bored phase of it, read for a bit, showered… not a lot, but later today we’re celebrating my mom’s birthday early, actually. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? No. I think my dimples are kinda cute, but that’s it. Do you regret going out with the last person you did? Not at all. Do you realize it when you curse? It’s so normal in my vocabulary that generally, no. I’m very mindful around kids, though. I still remember the first time I said “fuck” in my mom’s presence without realizing it and she just like f r o z e. Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? Yeah, for various reasons. That is veeeeery rare nowadays, though, partially because I’m so fucking bored that I’m just happy to close the day. What's the longest amount of time you've been stuck in traffic? An hour or so is my guess while traveling. I don’t recall any specific instances. Best field trip experience? We went to the zoo!!!! It was the one and only time thus far that I’ve seen meerkats irl. What is the most amount of money you've spent on a meal before? I’ve never really been able to buy my own meal, never mind something expensive. What museums have you visited, if any? Just local ones centered around art or science, generally. What's your worst traveling experience? Idk. Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? Never played. Not my kinda game. What area of math are you best at? Worst? lol I suck at them all. How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It’s exciting! Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? No, because I don’t believe in any “magical” influence over events that occur. Shit just happens, sometimes to good people, sometimes to bad people, and everything in-between. How often do you "half-ass" things (put little effort in)? IIII tend to do that a lot.. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Not really. Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? You could say so, but it turned out fine that I missed it anyway. What's something that makes you incredibly nervous? Talking to people I don’t know or being alone with a man. If you don't have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? N/A If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn't need them anymore? I’d be fuckin’ stoked, I could get my undereye dermal without it looking stupid. How many vegetarians do you know? I’m not sure. Have you ever considered going to art school? Does Photography count? I majored in that. Otherwise, no. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? No, I was always very attentive in class. Are your parents supportive of you? Very.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

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nako-doodles · 5 years

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best of me & go go ❣️

best of me - what is your best feature?

my utter disdain for bullshit. oh! and also my aversion to anything super serious.

I really hate it when people talk in circles around me, or if people don’t get straight to the point. needless to say, I have pissed off many authority figures bc I dont have patience for unnecessary pleasantries or walking around in eggshells. the fastest way someone gets onto my shitlist, other than being an unreasonable and inconsolable dick other people, is to bullshit me.

I also really physically cant take anything overly seriously? this is how I piss off the rest of the authority figures. I will take things seriously if need be, but expect me to crack jokes and laugh about the entire time. my threshold to remain on my best behavior is only the bare minimum before the atmosphere gets to me and I need to break it or alleviate it somehow.

prime example of this: the entire senior staff of our HS newspaper went to DC to compete in the columbia scholastic press association awards thingy and also to cover obama’s second inauguration, so you know, Serious Shit where ‘I expect you to all be on your best behavior blahblahblah we are presenting our school blahblahblah’ and the entire time when I was supposed to interview people on racism and implications for having a second term african american president and I basically fucked off and started cracking jokes about how the conservative pundits on fox news were going to foam at their mouths over his choice of condiment at the ball later. in my defense it was 5am and we were stuck on the metro system and I couldnt feel my face or my feet bc it was c o l d a s f u c k and I literally had 3 hours of sleep.

there was this other time during our senior week where the first day we were supposed to greet/welcome the school to our graduation festivities by standing in our gowns and clutching flower and basically shake all the god damned hands of all the parents, teachers, faculty, and students who were invited to senior tea. which is terrible 120% dont recommend fuck traditions.

anyways, I am a glutton, so I stationed myself right in front of the reception hall at the end of the lineup so I could get my friends to sneak me those petit fours and refreshments and coffee so I dont go crazy smiling my white people smile and being a Lady Of Nice Breeding or some shit. halfway through, there was a lag at the middle of our line, and we got a reprieve from weirdly tactile grandmothers and weepy faculty members that you never really talked to, so I thought this was perfect time to stretch and massage some feeling back into my face and hands, and ofc the best way to combat this is to get my friends to crack up obnoxiously at the end of the line and long story short the headmistress and head of schools had to come and chastise me for ruining the ‘atmosphere’ of senior tea or something about not upholding pretentious traditions. the headmistress was so relieved she kicked our entire class and more specifically me out of high school she Cried™. good times.

go go - what’s your favourite hobby/ thing to do in your free time?

when I have time, I like wandering through cities with a cup of tea or coffee in hand, and maybe a novel or a sketchbook in another. sometimes I wander into parks or museums or tourist traps or theaters, other times I sit at pretentious coffee shops and people watch, or, when I just get my paycheck, I yelp some delicious restaurants and spend the day gorging myself. I loved living w my friends in our fancy ass dorms but sometimes I just needed time to myself, so I spend entire Saturdays when my life isn’t falling apart before my eyes taking myself on dates on money I made wrangling 6th graders into reading the alchemist. its very romantic. I would know. I was there.

love yourself: her asks 🌸

#when will I learn to not type out literal essays???????#anyways thank u for indulging me my love 💘#ans #muwutuals #awe sam

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cielpurrple · 6 years

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Make Me 19.2

Pairing/s: Jimin x Reader x Got7 Jaebum

Word count: : 9103

Warning/s: Cursing, well, it made me cry so prolly tissues?

Summary:

“Sometimes, the people that we wish to be with isn’t supposed to be with us that’s why fate interferes.” ~Y/N’s Dad.

Since his friends told him about Jaebum, he couldn’t focus at all. A lot of scenarios or ‘what ifs’ comes through his mind. Another thing that makes him restless is telling you about his past, or as the boys call it, ‘her’. He doesn’t want to tell you because it has been a part of his past already and you don’t have to be involved in it either in his honest opinion but on the other hand, it’s unfair not to tell you since you when he’s serious about marrying you soon.

That same night, one of his worst fears returned, the nightmares associated with her.

But now, he wasn’t alone, you’re with him which calms him down and makes his fear go away. When the nightmares became more often, he noticed your worried expression which made him consider in telling you the reason. But, what would it cause to you and your relationship? Another fear strikes.

Another thing that made him even more guilty of not telling you anything was the day you completely surrendered yourself to him, the day which you entrusted fully your entirety to him which he treasured the most. You’re giving your all to him and yet here he is, trying to conceal as much as he could from his past.

This made him wish he can divide his body into two just so he could beat the hell out of him right now.

So, just to make up for this, he decided to leave work early to take you out on a date because for the past few weeks, you seemed stressed because of your school work.

When he’s already at home, he noticed the curtains were changed. He assumed that the cleaners left already because it’s quiet so he looked for you. You’re not on your room so he went to his room, liking the taste of whoever changed his covers but you’re not there so, with full enthusiasm, he declared that he is home and again looked for you until he saw you on his office.

He slightly frowned when he saw what you’re holding on your left hand, and he felt cold, he felt like his blood was vacuumed in an instant when he saw what you’re holding on your right hand.

“Who is she?” you tried to asked casually, but your voice is shaking.

“Who?” he pretends as if he’s not in a difficult situation.

You lifted the picture towards his direction, with the hopes that he could see the photo.

He approached you slowly, trying to get the picture out of your hands plus the sketchbook.

“She’s nothing, a nobody,” he replied flatly.

Upon hearing his answer, you felt a sudden pain in your heart, as if it’s being stabbed.

“Who is she, Jimin?” you repeated, clutching the sketchbook firmly so he couldn’t get it.

He sighed, as if it’s a bother for him to tell you.

“Okay, Y/N, she’s just a girl I met before, freshman in college. It’s been a long time though, I can’t even remember that I have that picture.” He explained.

You looked at him with a blank expression and you finally let go of the sketch book and picture.

You watch him as he place those things on top of his desk. He turned to look at you and his eyes met yours, his gaze is soft.

“Baby...” he said as he approach you.

You didn’t speak, move, or even change your blank expression, your head is full of thought, until you felt your hands are being held.

“It’s just a picture Y/N, it’s nothing.” He said sincerely.

Despite of the questions in your head, you gave him a smile and a nod.

“I believe you,” you replied.

He pulled you into his arms and embraced you tightly.

“Let’s eat outside, I have a reservation for us somewhere tonight. He whispered.

“Okay, I’ll get changed,” you responded.

You tried to be as normal as possible during your dinner. He was all chirpy and energetic just like before. You strolled around a bit after you two finished dinner. He attempted to buy you whatever your eyes landed on but you insisted.

When you returned home, you both spent the rest of the evening watching two movies. You still decided to stay in his room. You’re both in each other’s arms, cuddling, the usual. But as soon as he falls asleep, there you are still thinking about who the girl was and what really is her role in Jimin’s life.

Jimin found himself on a wide garden, the brick walls protecting it are covered with climbing plants,revealing it’s age. Patches of wildflowers in different colors everwhere; is he in paradise? He thought. He walked towards the path of pink, white, and yellow flowers as if it has created a pattern, an aisle. At the end of it, he can see someone so, he walked towards that person, and when his distance is just a mere couple of steps, he finally called her. He called out your name but as the woman turned, it’s the same girl from the photo. She’s crying and she muttered

“Have you forgotten about me?”

The paradise – like place suddenly cracked, as if everything’s made of glass. He can even hear her scream, then everything crashed and it went dark.

“Jimin, I’m here, it’s okay,” he heard you speak beside him. Your warm, and caring voice made him go back to reality.

Another nightmare.

You’re in the middle of patting his forehead with a soft towel when he suddenly pulled you for an embrace.

“Feeling better?”

He let out a hum in response and he felt your hands starts to play with his slightly damp hair. It makes him feel relaxed so you continued it until he feels sleepy once more. You embraced him, trying to make him feel safe and when you felt his breaths became slow, you followed and you get back to sleep too.

You noticed that his nightmares became frequent since you asked him about the picture. A part of you felt guilty while the other’s keep on creating excuses about the cause of his nightmares. Stressed at work? Pressure? And any other things as long as it wouldn’t end up mentioning the girl.

You became busier when the final checking of your paper started. Nobody from your other group mates appears except for the lectures. You’re starting to lose patience because of their behavior. You spent your breaks in the library, editing and polishing your paper. You’re in the middle of adding some related literature on your statistical findings when your phone vibrates, Yoongi’s picture appeared on it. You returned into typing when he called again and this time, you answered it.

“Hello?”

[You looked stressed, what’s going on?]

You slowly scanned the area, trying to locate where he is.

“Well, I’m trying to finish a paper that’s supposedly a task of three but here I am, doing it alone so, yeah. I’m feeling some kind of pressure,” you admitted, still looking for him.

[Behind you, fourth aisle.]

You turned around and you counted the aisle of books and fixed on the fourth. He slowly appeared, and gave you a small wave. He began to approach you while you ended the call, now you’re back into typing.

“Stop that.” His statement is more of an order.

“You know, I can’t, I have to finish editing this already,” you replied, now you doubled the pace of typing.

“Says who? Your professor or yourself?”

He pulled a chair and sit beside you.

“C’mon Y/N, let’s de-stress you,” he tried pulling the laptop away from you when you swatted his hand.

“OWW!”

His overreaction earned annoyed glances from the other students who obviously doesn’t know who he is.

“This is a libary, Yoongi—“ he suddenly pressed several keys on your computer and it went black.

“Did you just broke my laptop?”

“No, I let it sleep so we can de-stress you,” he replied smugly.

“One condition, you’ll return my laptop into it’s normal state after this okay?”

He nods and you began placing your stuff inside your bag while he took care of the books. The two of you began to jog the flight of stairs as quietly as possible. You let him lead the way as soon as you exited the library. You quickly approached his car and he told you to get in. When you’re both ready, he started driving.

The drive towards wherever you’re going is quiet except the soft classical music playing on his car. You didn’t bother asking anymore because he won’t answer anyways.

He slowed down until it stopped at a wide parking lot, which is in front of an 80’s inspired diner. There’s still some sunlight so the neon signs are still turned off but you know it’ll look fantastic as soon as it lights up.

There are quite a few people inside, most of them are eating but the others are on the side, enjoying their time trying to balance themselves while they roller blade. You find it interesting, so you watch them while Yoongi orders.

“I ordered you some burger, fries, and straberry banana shake,” he muttered.

“Thanks.”

“Wanna do that?”

You looked at him, he’s eyeing the roller blades area.

“Maybe later,” you replied, thinking carefully about your choice of answer.

“No, let’s do it now, we’ll be full in a few minutes anyway,” he stood up and you followed.

The crew were very helpful in assisting you two to properly put on your roller blades. They even guided you to do the basics and just when you thought you’re the clumsiest one on that place, you let out a giggle when you saw Yoongi clutching the jacket of one of the crew so he could move.

After a few tries, you get the hang of it and you start to roam with ease while Yoongi’s attached to the walls, clingin to the wires for balance.

You approached him and helped him so he could do it as well but you kept on falling but you enjoyed it.

When you’re both tired, you returned to your table and that’s the time that your food was served.

You exchanged conversations about different topics from the school, to literature, and other things that you can talk about. It was already dark when you left so you still saw how cool those neon signs and it gave off a cool-mysterious vibe to the place, not to mention the music being played.

“Thanks for this de-stress thingy,” you said as you both walked towards the parking lot.

“Don’t mention it. You seemed so preoccupied lately,” he replied.

You sighed and fell silent beside him.

You both stopped at the opposite sides of the car when he muttered something.

“Wanna talk about it?”

You’re not sure if Yoongi is the right person to talk to about what’s going on your mind but there’s something in your head and gut that’s telling you that someone should know about it.

So, you nod in response to his question.

You both sat on the hood of the car, his silence means he’s ready to listen so you cleared your throat and began talking.

“Jimin’s having nightmares lately.”

He quickly turned his head towards you and his expression somewhat became a bit serious.

“What were his nightmares about?”

“I don’t know, he never mention anything about those nightmares. It’s just that, It became more and more frequent these past few weeks and maybe it has something to do with a person,” your voice started to crack at the last few words.

“Person? Who, you?” he responded.

“No, I don’t know but I found a picture of him, with a girl, they seemed close to each other if I may describe the picture,” from there, you told every detail that you remembered about that picture. Yoongi just nods from time to time.

“I asked him about her, he told me that she was a nobody, a nothing.” You continued.

“Do you believe him?”

It’s now your turn to look at him. You looked straight into his eyes, and smiled.

“I do believe in him,”

He returned your smile with another smile. After that talk, you both hopped in the car to return to the city.

He only planned on dropping you but you reminded him of your laptop so he didn’t have a choice so he followed you inside. You reached the receiving area and you let him do his magic. When your laptop turned on, and your paper’s still in tact and saved, you thanked him.

“Don’t go out anymore, I can walk by myself,”

“Until the front door only Yoongi, thanks again,” you waved at him.

“See you around, Y/N,” he said with a smile.

You closed the door and returned to your things, bringing it straight to your room. What you didn’t know was as soon as he turned his back on you, his face became dim.

You glanced at the digital clock that’s near you and it’s already half past midnight and Jimin hasn’t returned home yet.

You tried calling him but your calls only goes to the voicemail. You tried for a few times more until his phone became unreachable.

Before you worry, you again formulated excuses that will lessen the panic on your system. You started calling his friends and you began with Yoongi followed by Taehung, Jungkook, and Jin. You’re quite hesitant to call Namjoon so you didn’t bother.

A few minutes has passed and a call from Jin made you go downstairs. He told you that he’s gonna come over so you have someone with you while the others decided to look for him. Taehyung is on the CBD area, Jungkook decided to be on the area where the clubs are while Yoongi roams wherever he could thik Jimin might be.

From time to time the boys will call either you or Jin and will update you, until an hour has passed.

There, you start to worry.

Jin is doing his best to calm you down. He brought a pillow and a blanket for you from upstairs, both are from Jimin’s room.

“Y/N, it’s 2:30 you have to get some rest,” he tries convincing you but you shook your head.

“You have school later, I don’t want you to get sick,” he tried again.

“Okay, just sleep for an hour, I’ll wake you up,” he bargained and you nod. You stretched your body and tried to find a position that you’re comfortable and as soon as you found it, you fell asleep.

Jimin can’t focus the entire time he’s at work. He wanted to tell you what his nightmare’s all about but he couldn’t summon the courage to do so. He just buried himself with unneccessary work and when his shift comes to an end, he left the building. He drive off somewhere towards the opposite direction from where your house is, without any destination in mind.

Until he found himself on his old high school campus. He stepped on the accelerator for a bit until he found a parking space.

He began to scan the area, it’s still the same with only additional plants around. He remembered the small playground so he went there, a slight smile formed in his lips.

He slowly sat down on the swing and stared at nothingness. He let his thoughts wander where it wanted to.

He didn’t know for how long he’s been doing that until a familiar voice made him snap into reality.

“Thought I’d see you here.”

He turned towards the direction of the voice and he saw Yoongi.

“My subconscious took me here,” Jimin replied.

Yoongi sat on the empty swing. He kept quiet as he prepares himself to listen to anything that Jimin will say but they’re both enveloped in silence so, he started the conversation.

“I remember you used to be on the baseball team with Taehyung, girls will crowd the field just to get your attention but you seemed oblivious about it,” he began.

A soft chuckle was heard from Jimin, probably a sign that he too, remembered it.

“You know I’m not the sappy type of person Jimin, right? Oh yeah, I’ve noticed something has changed about Y/N these past few weeks. I’m one of her professors this term too, you know? It seems that she can’t focus during my class. She keeps on staring outside the window or wherever. And she looked tired recently, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know what happened, she found a picture of her, then she asked me who is she and I told her that that picture is nothing,” he confessed.

He felt a sharp pain on his head, making him look at the older man.

“What was that for?!”

Yoongi smacked his head.

“Unbelieveable, Jimin. You’ve lost your opportunity to tell her what you’re supposed to be telling her!” he shouted.

“I can’t, I just can’t—“ he was cut off by Yoongi raised his hand in front of him.

“If you can’t tell her, that means you don’t trust her, Jimin. And there she is, waiting for you in your so-called home, trying to act normal and all as if nothing’s bothering her because she doesn’t want you to have an argument about it,” he continued.

“Did she talked to you?”

“I saw her alone at the library, typing furiously. I took her out and she started describing me a photo of you with another girl. Her description of your expressions were so accurate, as if I was there when she found it.”

At this point, they’re both standing up, facing each other, Jimin doesn’t know what excuse he’d say next so Yoongi will shut up.

“Another thing, she told me about your nightmares.” He said flatly.

Jimin felt defeated.

“She’s worried about you, she wanted to involve herself but it seems that you’re stopping her. Oh yeah before I forgot, go home. She called us, telling us that you haven’t returned yet.” He turned and began to walk but again he paused.

“Think about the choices that you’ll make from now on, Jimin. Consdider her feelings too.”

With that Yoongi walked away.

Jimin walked towards his car and began driving back home, Yoongi made his head clearer and now his decision whether to tell you or not what his nightmares are about is leaning to the telling side. With the urge to see you, he speeds up, not noticing the incoming car on the right side of the intersection.

You jolted as you gain consciousness, and you’re on your bedroom.

You run towards Jimin’s room and you felt a sharp pain on your chest when you see that his bed’s empty. You searched for him in his office, but still, no sign of him.

You slowly went downstairs and you heard a noise from the kitchen so you went there as quiet as possible.

You saw Jimin’s figure, grabbing as many ice cubes as he could, filling the container for it.

“Jimin, are you okay?” You asked, trying to conceal the worry that has been inside your system since yesterday.

He half jumped upon hearing you, making him groan in pain.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” he said trying to pick up the ice pack but he couldn’t so you approached him and grabbed it before he does.

You noticed that he had a cut on the side of his lip and another on his right cheek. He also seemed uncomfortable to move.

“You’re definitely not okay, Jimin. You’re bleeding.” Your worry intensifies that it starts to irritate you.

“Baby, what are you doing?” he asked as you start to pull his coat off, he wince whenever you touch his right arm.

“Take that off, now.” Your tone is so serious, he tried removing it on his own but it’s obvious that there’s something wrong so you stopped him.

“We’re taking you to the hospital. Don’t argue with me on this.” You stood up and dashed towards the door to call your driver to prepare the car that you’re using. You went straight to his room to grab some clothes just in case he needs to be admitted.

You were quiet since the visit to the doctor. Now, you’re eating at a nearby fast food restaurant and It made Jimin feel uneasy.

“It’s time for you to go to school, princess.” He said, trying to open up a conversation with you but you remained silent, your attention is focused on eating your food.

“Babe...” he called you again.

“I’m gonna be absent today. I’ll call the school telling them that I have an emergency,” you said as calm as you could, still not looking at him.

“Why?” He asked, somewhat surprised.

“Are you serious right now, Jimin? Asking me why do I have to be absent today? You must be out of your mind!”

Your anger is starting to get the best of you right now so you stppd up, and went to the wash room. There, you washed your face with the hopes that it’ll lessen the intensity of your emotions.

When you returned to your table, he was still waiting for you, he seemed worried. You told him that the two of you should go back home so he could rest. The drive home’s never been this quiet before.

You guided him to his room without saying a word. He took off his coat and shirt while you helped him. After that, he went straight to the bathroom so you followed him until he entered it.

“Are you going to take a bath?” You asked from the outside.

“No, I’ll just use a wet towel to clean myself,” he relpied.

“Okay,” you returned.

“Can you help me? I can’t reach some parts of my back.”

You slowly opened the door and you saw him in a pitiful yet funny position, You supressed your laughter and began wiping his back.

As you do it, he suddenly removed all of his remaining clothes , making you feel embarrassed.

“As if you haven’t seen it,” he commented playfully.

You kept quiet and handed him a towel and you exited the bathroom.

When he’s fully clothed, you helped him to bed. When he’s comfortable enough, you planned on leaving, to go to your own room so you can sleep but the urge inside you to ask him what happened wins.

“We need to talk,” you started.

He looked into your direction, completely dismissing the book he’s reading and placed it on his bedside table.

“Anything,” he replied.

“Do you think I haven’t noticed? For the past weeks you’re going home late at night, sometimes past midnight, can you tell me why?”

He looked into his hands that’s playing with the blanket.

“I uh, there’s a lot of work to do—“ you don’t want to be rude but you’re not buying that excuse.

“No, Jimin, I noticed since you had those nightmares, you began to be like this, you’re distancing yourself from me. I waited for you last night, because I was worried, did I do something wrong?”

Now it’s his time to be silent and when the silence became unbearable, you slowly stood up.

“If you need me, just call me using your phone, I’ll be on my room.”

He called you but you continued walking, because the tears that you’ve been holding back began to fall like rain.

Yoongi was mad when you told him what you’ve found out. He immediately called Taehyung to meet at a nearby bar, tagging along Jungkook. After a few minutes of waiting, Jin and Namjoon appeared.

“Y/n told me two things today. One, Jimin’s nightmares came back, and two, she mentioned her. She found an old picture of G and Jimin.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen while Taehyung’s mouth fell open. Jin and Namjoon frowned after they heard what Yoongi said.

“Did Jimin told her something already?” Jungkook asked after he recpvered from shock.

“No, he didn’t. What’s worse is that he’s denying Y/N about G. About their past.” Yoongi’s tone’s bitter.

“Than shit, what is he doing with Y/N?” Namjoon spat, now obviously annoyed.

“Should we take over?” Jungkook asked.

“As much as we wanted to, No. Jimin should be the one to do that.” Jin answered.

“But it’s obvious that he’s not gonna tell it anytime soon,” Namjoon replied.

“Or he’s not gonna tell it ever.” Jungkook added.

“If he chose the latter, that won’t be possible anymore. Y/N is an intelligent woman guys. I bet she has some theories of her own regarding G. The only thing that we’re waiting here is either she’d found out everything by herself or from another person.” Yoongi said.

“And if that happens...” Jin sounded worried, his expression somber.

“Oh, I hope not.” Taehyung replied to Jin. He knew what he’s supposed to say.

“It could be. It’s possible you know.” Namjoon replied.

“Could you please shed some light here? What are you talking about now?” Jungkook is lost.

“They might break up, Kook.” Yoongi replied.

“Shit.” The youngest said.

“When that happens, can we do something about it?” Taehyung tries to look further, hoping they can come up with a solution in case it’ll happen.

Namjoon shook his head slowly.

“If that happens Tae, we step back. Only Jimin could do something about that. We’ll be here for support, as much as possible for the both of them and nothing else.” Yoongi muttered slowly, his expression is now sadder.

They stayed there to get a few drinks. When Yoongi’s about to enter his house, he received a call from you, telling that Jimin’s not home yet so he called the rest of the boys and created a search party while Jin decided to go to you so you have someone to wait with. Yoongi decided to roam around because knowing Jimin, he could be an emotional fucker, so he can be all over the place. The next thing he knew he’s speeding towards the direction of his old high school. When he searched and found Jimin sitting on the swing, he really really wanted to beat the hell out of him but he tried to remain calm. He tried shedding some light to Jimin’s situation, so he can decide now on what to do next.

When you woke up, you went straight to Jimin’s room. You saw him sleeping with glasses on, book on the other side of the bed.

Your heart melted a bit when you saw how cute he looks. You removed his glasses as gentle as you can plus the book. You stared at him for a few moments when he opened his eyes.

“Hey,” he suddenly sits down, forgetting that he has a broken arm so he hissed in pain.

“Careful, let me help you,” so you did. And when he’s comfortably sitting, you returnend to his side.

“Why didn’t you sleep here?” he pouted.

“I have tons of things to do, I want you to rest.” You replied. Though this was half a lie, you just cried yourself to sleep last night.

“Come downstairs okay? I’ll make breakfast.” You began to move but he stopped you with his other hand.

“What?”

He shook his head, and smiled. You gave him a slight smile and went downstairs.

You managed to make breakfast for everybody including the security team. You’re helping Jimin in whatever he needs during that meal.

He decided to chill at the pool while he do some work using his laptop while you cleaned the dishes, you received a call from Taehyung.

“Yep?”

[Jimin called in sick, and he won’t be back until two to three weeks?]

“Yeah, I think so.” You said.

[Are you two on a vacation? Don’t tell me you’re on a honeymoon already.] he teased.

“No, no, he’s injured. He came home in the wee hours of the morning, bruised and bleeding. Oh did I mention he has a broken right arm?”

[WHAT? What happened?]

“That’s what I’m trying to found out since last night, Tae. He won’t tell me.” You sighed.

[What?]

“Yeah, what. But don’t worry I’ll ask him again.”

[Alright, take care you two.]

“Bye.”

You ended the call and you finished washing the dishes. Then you decided to take a walk outside. You let yourself wander around the large front garden until you found yourself in front of the garage.

You entered it, and saw the cars parked there, nothing unusual, except for one that’s missing.

Jimin’s car.

You frowned, you really wanted to ask him so you returned to the house where Jimin is.

“Can we talk?” you’re trying to hold your emotions again.

“Anytime,” he closed his laptop and put it on the side.

When you see he’s ready, you sat across him.

“Where’s your car?”

“It’s there—“

“Please, Jimin tell me the truth please, where is your car?”

Your anger’s turning into tears.

“I-uh, I brought it to the service center, I have to get it fixed.” He replied.

“Why? What happened last night?”

“I got into an accident, I’m sorry.” He confessed.

“Can you elaborate further? I have all the time in this world right now to listen.”

He recalled what happened only mentioning Yoongi found him, telling him you’re waiting for him. Then he told you the rest.

“Why didn’t you went straight to the hospital? And how did you return here if your car is somewhere with the police?”

“They offered me a ride, I dropped off a few blocks here.” He answered.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been waiting for you. Ever since you decided to stay late from work or I don’t know where else anymore.” The tears finally began to fall from your eyes, earning a guilty look from Jimin.

“You know you can tell me everything right? I’m here to listen, Jimin. anytime right?” you said in between your sniffles.

He looked at his hands, and slowly nod.

“Is there anything else that you want to tell me?”

He shook his head.

You sighed, you felt disappointed. Because you expected he’ll tell you everything. From his nightmares to the girl on the picture.

“If you need me, I’ll be upstairs.” You said, walking away from him.

The days turned into weeks and during those times you’re just beside Jimin, helping him until he’s fully recovered.

Christmas break’s just around the corner and you’re all pressured. Especially you, because it’s the deadline of your paper.

You managed to pass all of the projects on your subjects so you don’t have any problems with those. You’re quite nervous with this one because of your group mates who you decided not to talk to.

You’re retrieving books on your locker when Erin furiously shut it’s door closed.

“Why aren’t you responding to my texts? I’ve been asking you tons of times for updates and you’re not replying?” she said, furious.

“Since the time you and Tom decided not to show up when I drive all the way to the other side of the city, you completely removed your position and names on the paper.” You replied calmly.

“Excuse me? You don’t have the right to do that! You know I’m working, so as Tom.” She’s now shouting, earning weird looks from other students.

“So am I. I wonder how I could do it, how can i add tons of projects and a job while maintainting a scholarship. I don’t know.” You replied.

“Edit the paper and include our names. Or else you’ll not gonna like what’s gonna happen to you.” She said through greeted teeth.

“Excuse you. Who’s the irresponsible one here? I basically did everything on this paper, Erin. I decided to remove your names because obviously, it doesn’t deserve a place on my paper. Now you get to taste your own medicine, you’re mad? Wow.” You replied, locking your locker, you decide to walk away but here comes Tom, his ears are red.

“How dare you remove our names there! Don’t you know who am I?” he screamed.

“Obviously she doesn’t but I do.” Jungkook replied.

You don’t know what happened but Tom suddenly moved back and walked away from the two of you.

“Did you just threaten her? If something happens to her, you’ll be accountable even if it’s not your fault. Clear?” He looked Erin dead in the eye.

Erin began sobbing on the side.

“I’m gonn walk you to your class, I’m free today.” He said.

You thanked him and when you’re in class, you walked past Erin and Tom, choosing to sit in front.

The truth is, you haven’t removed Erin and Tom’s names on your finished paper. When the professor asked you to pass it, you gladly did, finally being free of the stress it caused.

After that, you were given your pen and paper test. Then the unexpected happened.

A few professors entered your room, including Yoongi.

Your professor told you you’ll be having a mock defense of your paper that day and those professors would be the panel. And if you were called and passed, it’s gonna be your last day attending her class.

Of all people, your group was called.

You connected your flash drive to the TV, opening the presentation format of your paper. You started talking when Yoongi raised his hand in the middle of your explanation.

“Thank you Ms. Y/L/N you can sit down and let your other group mates take over now.” He said.

So, it’s Erin’s turn who basically just read what’s inside the slides so as Tom. When the question and answer part came, you stood up, answering the questions with confidence. Another professor told you to sit down once again which made you feel uneasy.

Four groups in total, including your group managed to finish the mock defense that day. Your professor called your group for the decision whether your paper passed or not.

“Congratulations, Ms. Y/L/N, you don’t need to attend my remaining classes. And, I should advise you to remove the names of these two. It’s obvious they didn’t helped.” She looked at them with a disappointed look on her face. “It seems you’ll be having another term with me.”

Erin and Tom looked down, looking guilty.

You thanked her and she said you can send the final paper via email.

When you exited the building, you couldn’t help but smile. You decided to visit Yoongi who probably chilling on the SAO office.

When you saw his familiar mint hair, you gave him a hug.

“Whoa, whoa, what was that for? Jimin might get jealous again, damn.” He joked.

“Thank you!” you replied.

He gave you a knowing smile.

“You deserve to pass while they don’t.” He said matter of factly.

“Since you’re here, may I ask how are you two doing?” his tone became serious.

You sat down, began talking.

“Since his accident we’re not the same, you know? Or maybe since I found the picture, we’re not the same.” You said and you couldn’t help but be sad.

You miss the old Jimin, the one despite having nightmares, he still makes you feel secured and loved.

“Do you know something about it, no, do you know something about her, Yoongi?” you don’t want to sound desperate but obviously, you do.

Yoongi’s face became blank. As if the entire Antartica’s poured into him.

“I believe that you don’t deserve to be lied to. Of course I do know something about her, but the thing is, I’m not the one that should be telling you anything about her, Y/N. Not me, Taehyung, Kook, or anybody else. It should be Jimin.”

You couldn’t help it. for the past weeks, you’re trying your hardest to be okay. To feel and act like you’re okay so that Jimin would recuperate faster. But as the days went by, you feel like you two are drifting apart from each other day by day.

Tears starts to race again from your eyes to your cheeks.

“Sorry, could you please just answer this with all honesty, please Yoongi?”

“It depends but let’s hear it,” he replied.

“Is she special? Is she special to Jimin?” you asked disregarding the pain you’re feeling.

“In all honesty, Y/N, I don’t have an idea. I don’t know. But remember this, Jimin is a good man.” He said.

“I know.” You said. You said your good bye to him and left.

When you returned home, you heard Jimin inside the house only to find him decorating a Christmas tree, both of his arms now fully functional as if nothing happened.

“Hey, baby welcome back.” He said while he’s placing some sparkly things on the top of the tree.

“Hi, I passed my dreaded subject today.” You announced.

“Lets celebrate!” he cheered.

“Why not? Maybe after decorating the tree.” You said and you looked at the boxes lying around the floor.

One box is full of christmas balls, some are christmas lights, you noticed one box thats’ decorated with doodles, you opened it and there are stuffed animals dressed as santa. You asked him if it can be the ornaments and he agreed so you helped him.

After two hours, the christmas tree looks cute with red, gold, and green as motif.

“That’s nice,” you said.

“It’s wonderful because we made it together,” he said.

“Now shall we go?”

You nod.

It’s so chilly outside you dashed towards his car. It’s the very same car that got damaged few weeks back and restored to it’s former glory as if it’s brand new.

Jimin brought you his favorite steak house. You shared some laughs, and stories which you really enjoyed.

“Just this once please? Let me buy you a gift, baby please?” he literally begged, you’re outside an expensive jewelry shop.

“But, this is more than enough, and I like this one!” you argued showing him your Magnolia ring that he gave when you’re with him overseas.

“Please?”

He looked as if he’s gonna cry, so you sighed.

“Fine. Just this once.” You said.

He pulled you inside, nodding to one of the ladies there while he told you to look around and maybe you’ll find anything you’ll like.

You’re not into those kinds of things although they’re beautiful.

“Baby,” Jimin called you and you gasped as you see him kneeling on his knee.

“What are you doing?” You whispered, trying to tell him to stand up.

“Will you be officially mine, from now until forever?”

He opened a small dark blue box, with a shining ring inside.

Without hesitation, you smiled at him.

“Yes, yes I will.” You replied.

Every one who’s inside the establishment either clapped or gave an ‘awwww’ to the two of you as he slipped the ring beside the Magnolia one.

“I’ve never felt this happiness before, I love you, Y/N.” He said as he land a kiss on your lips.

“I love you too, Jimin.” You replied as sincere as you could.

The two of you were about to exit the store when you received a call from your father.

“Yes dad?”

[Well should I say congratulations or what?]

Your eyes popped out and you turned around and you saw your parents coming from the side of the store.

“Oh my goodness! What are you doing here?” you quickly embraced your parents.

Your mother started crying.

“Aww mom, why are you crying?”

You embraced her and you saw Jimin politely greeting your father but instead he was given a hug and a pat on the back.

“I’m so happy for you dear, though it’s too early but oh, my baby’s now a lady.” She said in between cries.

“Oh mom,” you hugged her again.

“Will you come here son, I want to hug you both.”

Jimin shyly approached you two and you hugged your mother together.

You were clinging to your mother the while you roam around the mall.

“So, what brings you here?” you excitedly asked.”

“Your father and I got a promotion!” Your mother said.

You both jumped in the middle of the mall and you told her that you’re so proud of them.

She said that they’re now transferred in the city and that they’ll be working at the hotel here.

“So does that mean you’ll stay here?” you smiled.

“Yes.” Your mother replied.

You couldn’t contain your happiness. You watch Jimin and your father talk from a distance you don’t know but there’s something odd about the way you feel as you look at them.

That day was so enjoyable, your parents enjoyed playing at the arcade with you and Jimin.

When you returned home with Jimin, you couldn’t believe it, you’re already engaged as if it was just a dream. But you can feel, see, and touch the proof that it happened. You’re so happy seeing the stone as it twinkles in the dim light that’s on his room.

“I’m sorry for all of the stress that I’ve caused you, baby.” He whispered.

“Forget about it, It’s cool.” You smiled.

“Thank you—“ he cut you off by kissing you, and you let him. You let yourself drown into the kiss. You missed this, his sudden movements that makes your heart skip a million beats, your blood rush.

You looked into each other and you nod, you both started removing whatever clothes you have.

You let your soul once again be one with his.

“I love you so much, Y/N.” He whispered to your ears right after.

“I love you too,” you replied sleepily.

Days have passed and your relationship returned to normal, the both of you almost inseparable. A few days before Christmas, you approached but you stopped when you heard him talking to someone.

“I wanted to tell her, but I can’t, I just can’t.”

“How would she react? I don’t know if she can take everything if I tell her.”

Pause.

“Why are you asking me that? Of course I love her, Mom. I really do. I proposed to her about a week ago.” He said.

You felt a wave of relief when you hear the word ‘mom’ in his sentence.

“Alright, see you soon.” He said and he hang up.

That’s your que to come in, you were given a scream.

“Don’t scare me like that, baby goodness,” he replied.

“Sorry, um Jimin? I’m coming home for Christmas, would that be okay?”

“To your parents? Yeah, why not?” he replied, removing his glasses.

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“Of course, mom will be coming back. She’ll visit us. Maybe we’ll celebrate with gram.”

“Oh god, we forgot to tell her, Jimin! She might be mad.” You panicked.

“About?” he raised an eyebrow.

“About our enagagement.” You pouted.

He gave you a chuckle, then a giggle.

“She was the one who bought the ring, baby. She’s pushing me to ask you already.”

“R-really?” another relief.

“Yep. Aaaand one more thing, she’s uh, kind a... asking for something as well,”

“A gift? Let’s get her one.” You said, trying to complete his sentence.

“Yes, it’s a gift, but she wants it to be made... by the two of us.” He said, carefully choosing his words.

“Food? Christmas cookies?” you asked.

Another giggle from Jimin.

“No princess, she’s hinting a great-grand child.”

You blushed.

But you narrowed your eyes on his statement.

“You’re not making this up, are you?” you asked.

He let you read their conversation and she really gave hints about babies and stuff using emojis.

You shook your head in disbelief.

“Wow. Just wow.” You commented.

The two of you spent your day preparing for the upcoming festivities when you received a call from Jimin’s mother, asking you to meet up with her, but you should keep it as a secret from him. Probably you’ll gonna make a surprise gift? Or a party so you agreed.

She met you at an exclusive tea houses. You told the driver that it’s top secret so you told him if ever Jimin will ask, you’re shopping at the mall.

You were greeted by his mother’s warm, motherly smile and a hug which you mirrored.

“Lemme guess, the old lady chose this didn’t she?” she chuckled.

You nod. She shared some stories and she showed you hers but it’s studded with stones.

“It suits you, honey. I know it’s early but I am wholeheartedly welcoming you to our family,” she said.

“Thank you, Mrs. Park,” you smiled.

“Uh-uh. Call me ‘Mom’ from now on, please.” She said.

“Sorry, mom.” You replied and you both laughed.

“So, how are you two?” She asked.

“We’re fine, but there’s one thing that I’m concerned about, it’s about his nightmares. It happened several months back. At first it’s once a week, then it became twice, and recently, it’s almost every night.” You opened up your concern to his mother because you’re sure she can understand.

She sighed and gave you an apologetic smile.

“If that’s the case then, you should convince him to go to the doctor, honey.” She said.

“Okay, I’ll do that.” You replied.

“It’s nice to see you again, Y/N. I hope I’ll be seeing more of you in the near future.” She said.

You gave her a polite nod and you told her to that you’ll be leaving first.

You reflected on what she said and you felt that same odd feeling that you felt when you saw Jimin talking to your father.

“I promoted her parents so she can live with them in the city,” Jaebum said while eating, Hoseok listens while he slices his steak.

“Of course the house is within this area. So I can take care of Y/N.” He said.

“I’ve sent my Christmas gift to Park Jimin early by the way,” he said with a hint of excitement on his tone.

Whatever that gift would be, it means trouble, and damage to Jimin if it’s Jaebum who sent it.

Meanwhile, Jimin received a package and he immediately opened it, it’s a beautiful gray box with silver and blue ribbon.

He closed it as soon as he saw the contents.

He’s now looking for a lighter to burn it, not noticing your return.

You looked for him on his office and you found the box. You opened it, and you saw an old frame. You saw smiled as you saw a younger versions of the boys including Namjoon and Hoseok. Your eyes drifted to the furthest right and your smile was suddenly erased.

You again saw her.

You don’t care anymore whether he’ll be mad if he sees you looking at it.

You found another picture, Jimin’s wearing a baseball uniform, but the hat was being worn again, by her.

You this time you picked an envelope, and it revealed a yellowish piece of stationery.

You read the title.

LOVE CONTRACT

You wanted to read the contents but you couldn’t stomach what could be inside.

You looked in the direction of the door and found him there, frozen.

“Is she really a nothing, Jimin? If she is then what are these?”

He stayed there, silent.

“Who is she, really? Can you tell me now?”

Still, silence.

“Oh my god. Please don’t tell me she’s the reason why your’e coming home late.” You felt your heart being crushed again.

“No, no, baby, she’s not,” he finally replied.

“THEN WHO IS SHE?” you screamed.

He just looked down, saying nothing.

You walked past him but he followed. He went straight to your room. You left without a choice. It’s either he’ll tell you or you’ll leave.

You placed most of your clothes to your backpak plus your laptop.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” he asked his voice is weak.

“Maybe we need this, a time apart. So we can think of some things,” you replied.

“No, please Y/N, don’t do this please.” He begged.

You’re about to reply but your phone blasted the ring tone assigned to your father.

“Dad?”

[MOVE OUT OF THAT HOUSE RIGHT NOW! THAT BOY IS NOT TELLING YOU SOMETHING]

You slowly looked at him, with a frown.

“Wait, dad what are you talking about?”

[JUST MOVE OUT, RIGHT NOW OR I’M GONNA GET YOU OUT THERE BY FORCE!]

He’s not just mad but very mad.

“Okay, dad. Breathe, I’ll be there, text me the address. Okay? See you in a bit.”

“Y/N, please,” Jimin’s voice is broken, as if he’s close to tears.

Still he followed you until you reached the landing of the first floor. You stood for a bit, still your back facing him.

“Please, don’t follow. And don’t do anything stupid, I have to talk to my father,” you said.

Although your heart’s heavy, and you have tons of doubts with your deciscion about leaving him, you have to. With slow footsteps, you managed to leave his house. You told your driver to drop you off at the bus stop.

You updated your father when you’re inside the bus, it’s quite far from the university, since it’s second to the last stop, according to it’s route. It took you more than an hour to get to your destination. You saw your father waiting for you at the bus stop.

“What’s the matter dad, you okay?” you hugged him.

“Did you and mom had a fight?” you asked as you follow him. He’s now carrying your backpack despite your protests.

He remained quiet, until you two reached the place where they’re staying. It’s a nice two-storey house, more like of a town house type. There’s a build in garage and a gate.

“This place is nice, considering that it’s from the company,” you commented.

Still, your father kept quiet which made you feel that something serious has happened.

When you entered the house, it’s was quiet. He told you that your room is on the left side. You slowly went upstairs and opened the said room.

It’s ready. As if they’re anticipating you to come that day.

You just placed your bags on the floor, no energy to unpack when you remembered what your father had said during the call.

If you weren’t mistaken, this has something to do with Jimin.

But of course, you hope not.

A slight knock made you stop thinking for a while.

“Your father wants to talk to you,” your mother said.

So, you followed.

You found your father in the living room, with a serious expression. You sat on one of the single seater sofa, while your mother sat beside him.

“What is this about?”

You speak slowly, trying to find some emotions on their faces but no avail. You were enveloped in a silence that makes your chest hurt.

“ Sometimes, the people that we wish to be with isn’t supposed to be with us that’s why fate interferes .” Your father spoke.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, totally confused.

“If I may ask, although this is obvious, do you love Jimin with all of your heart?”

You nod.

“And you believe he feels the same way about you, right?”

Again, you nod.

You looked at him and you saw his face into serious to a saddened one.

“Someone kind enough sent this here,” he gave you a flat box,

You took a deep breath, and when you opened it, it’s more than what you’re expecting.

A sequence of pictures, with a background that you’ve seen somewhere, that beautiful background. You started flipping through until you saw a picture of Jimin, in front of the altar, together with the woman on the pictures that you saw.

It’s a picture of him, placing a ring on the girl’s finger, in front of the altar.

Your tears escaped from your eyes like storm. And suddenly, you don’t know how to breathe.

All of your excuses was thrown out of the window.

So, from the beginning what you’ve been thinking is right?

Upon seeing that huge picture of him with her you knew in the back of your mind, what that means.

That at some point in his past, he got married.

That he’s married.

And what that beame of you?

What are you now?

You couldn’t continue. Anymore, you suddenly let a wail, and you found yourself being embraced by your mother who’s also crying, whispering words of apology to you.

Your father stood up, picking up the pictures that fell on the floor. You caught a glimpse of him, wiping his eyes. He too, is crying.

You couldn’t feel anything. You what you knew is you just continued crying, until your father decided to carry you to your bed.

You stayed like that until you finally fall asleep.

Jimin was at a loss right now. He couldn’t feel anything except the pain that’s inside his chest as soon as you turned your back at him and left. But there’s nobody to be blamed, is there?

It’s him, and only him.

He’s staring into nothingness until someone called. He grabbed his phone hoping that it’s you only to see it’s from an unknown number.

[Did you like my early Christmas gift? Oh, I sen’t one to Y/N’s parents as well so, yeah, enjoy while that lasts alright?]

“Don’t you dare show yourself to me, I will fucking kill you.” Jimin said, with a deadly tone.

[I dare you then. Do it Park, just like what you did to her.]

You fucker--!

The other line hang up.

He threw his phone somewhere, making something crashed. He continued wrecking whatever thing his hand get a hold of until he remembered what you just said befoe

Don’t do anything stupid.

He stopped smashing the vases. He sat on the floor, with tears on his eyes, he cries for you.

[A/N]

Sorry this post is late! This chapter broke me :(

Will this story be a tragic one or the one with flowery ending?

a few chapters left!.

#BTS jimin #BTS jin #BTS jungkook #BTS rap monster #BTS suga #bts v #bts jhope #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #jimin x you #jin x reader

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thedappleddragon · 3 years

Text

ugh im big stupid and haven't been posting my shit here for a while. I've still been typing it out in my notes, I just havent transferred them onto here lol. im putting it all under the cut, don't worry

Today was pretty dang nice! I spent a little time outside because it was nice and warm out, I drew a little in my sketchbook and digitally rendered a picture of Anna’s new princess outfit, ran an errand with my mom to pick up a graphing calculator and a pack of soda, ate some Wendy’s, and did a lot of sewing for my dress! I joined the bodice lining and exterior, and did a little over half of the sewing for the skirt. I’m doing French seams so there’s no raw edges on the inside, so I still have to iron it and go over the second round of stitches. My machine malfunctioned for a moment with the thread tangling up in the lower bobbin thingy, so I left it alone for like an hour and it fixed itself lol. I’m very happy with how the bodice came out after clipping all the extra fabric in the corners and test fitting it. I think it’ll be great when it’s done!! Although I may or may not need to seam rip a little bit of the skirt to extend the zipper down so I can get it over my fuckin DUMPTRUCK when putting it on. Right now there’s enough stretch to put it on, but Idk how well that’ll stay after attaching the 2 pieces. Also it might end up making me look fat/preggo in the end with how the skirt lays lmao. I also did a really quick test fit with the sleeves, and I might actually like it better sleeveless? I’ll put one on anyway and go from there to see which I like better. HOORAY this dress has pockets!! But I may have put them a little low lol. I wanted to do a big dress debut at prom, but turns out graduates aren’t allowed due to covid restrictions :( so that really sucks. But we’re still gonna hang out a little bit beforehand, and I can still do a debut. I made a little bow out of some scrap dress fabric, which I want to put in my hair for pre-prom. I think I’ll braid my hair, maybe get some fake flowers from dollar tree and ribbon to add somehow, and put the ribbon either at the bottom or the top, wherever the hair tie eventually goes. I’m so exited to work on it more. I’m kinda running out of white thread tho so I’ll have to get more. Later in the evening i got hungry and made ramen while my dad and I watched a documentary on some of the horrible shit that went on all around the world during 2020, some of which I had forgotten about, some that was really surreal and out of a dystopian movie, and some stuff that was just upsetting to watch. It was still pretty good tho. I got work tomorrow and I’m really sleepy even tho it’s only 12:30 so I think I’m gonna grab a snack and go to sleep soon. Gnight mwah

Yesterday I worked and sewed until I ran out of thread and drew a little bit. Spent most of my shift watering flowers, then I went home and ate for a moment, then watered more and picked dead flowers and talked about avatar and other animated shows with the highschool girl I work with. Came home and hung out for a while, that evening made some good pasta.

Today I justly hung out, then went with mom to pick up a bookshelf and went through strawtown which I thought was a very funny name for a town. There was a cute antique shop in there tho. On the way back we stopped in a sewing shop called Always in stitches. I expected it to be a very small shop, but it was SO much bigger than I thought it would be. They had tons of fabric and quilting supplies, and lots of old ladies working and talking. I picked up a cone of white thread and a fabric sample pack. Then I sewed my dress a little bit. I still have lots to do, and only like 2.5 days to do it. I’ll get there tho. All I have to do is add the skirt hem, add the pockets back in (I took them out so I could see them in normally), add sleeves and hem them, and add the zipper. And attach the skirt to the bodice. I think I’ll be able to do it. I had yogurt for the first time in forever today. Tbh I used just enough to hold together the strawberry and granola bits kgelgskgs. It was pretty good tho. I drew ELEVEN pages in my sketchbook, about 8 of them being a comic about the pony au of our royalty au. I could have done the comic with human characters but ponies are so much easier to draw aggsssdh. I spent 40 minutes typing out the dialogue and editing it on top of the rest of the comic so my friend could read it, but she still hasn’t read my text :( oh well that’s fine lol. The original plot was supposed to be Sam talking to an accidental illusion of me being mean about her blight, but then I accidentally made it something different. I might just draw the alternate ending instead. Update I just did

Yesterday I sewed and went to Menards to buy tile for moms bathroom.

Today was VERY productive, I feel like. I woke up and immediately took a shower and did laundry. I spent some one just sitting on my bed scrolling and researching while listening to medieval remixes of songs lol. At some point I went out to buy subway for everyone and stopped at dollar tree for nail polish and satin ribbon. I made the ribbon into a little choker and wanted to use it for the hem of the skirt, but I was too short. In total I spent HOURS hemming and pinning and seam ripping and ironing and sewing today, but it’s still not done. I gotta kick my ass into high gear if it’s gone be done by Sunday afternoon. I started sewing the bottom hem, but my machine has been doing this weird thing where the fabric scrunches up right past the sewing foot and leaves wrinkles and gathers so loose I can move it around with my hands easily. I think it’s just my tension being too tight or something, I adjusted it a bit and I’ll test it in the morning. I’m too tired and it’s too late at night to be doing that much sewing. I seam ripped the entire back skirt seam so I could extend the zipper a little further down, and I’ll sew it back up once the hem is done. After that all I need to donis connect the skirt to the bocice, fix the zipper, and hem the arm holes. I don’t want to use the sleeves I made because the edges don’t line up at all and I don’t think I would be able to lift my arms, the way it’s built. The nail polish I picked up works way better than I thought it would, leaving a pretty good metallic sheen after just one coat. Way better than I thought for a dollar. I helped mom lay down tile a little bit, ripping up one old tile and helping a bit at a time throughout the day. I kept asking if she wanted help with the actual tiling part but she said no. We also couldn’t get the fuckin box cutter I bought to work. It’s supposed to be easy to replace the blade, but we couldn’t figure it out lol. I’m falling asleep fun. Washed my face twice, trying to take good care of myself before prom so I look good in photos. Gotta wash hair tomorrow. Made hamburger meat

Spent all day sewing and listening to bardcore remixes. Dress is as done as I bother to make it rn

Tbh I was hoping for a little more for today. I’ve spent the last like week or longer working towards this, and going especially in depth the past 3 days. I got all silky smooth, worked for hours on my dress, thought about pretty much nothing except prom day. I was late because my dad had my neighbor come over to take pictures of me in my dress. I thought it was just going to be her holding my dad’s phone to get a picture of us together, but she brought her whole ass professional camera and spent several minutes taking pictures. Then I took the weirdest way possible to get to my friend’s house on accident because google maps said it was the fastest way to get there. But HEY when I did get there I enjoyed hanging out with my friends. We ate some dinner AND??? Sammie I’m sorry if you’re reading this but THE MASHED POTATOES?? WERE S O BLAND????? AFAJSTSTHJST ily but girl. Just a little salt could have gone a long way <3 the steak and especially the green bean casserole were good tho :) dinner was good with the sparkling juice and little desert. Overall everything was just very loud, but that’s to be expected when this is everyone’s first time seeing each other in a goddamn while: actually I think they’ve all seen each other at school without me but hey whatever. I think I fucked up my phone screen on accident by sitting on it while it was in my pocket with my keys, leaving a spiderweb crack in it. I checked and yeah it’s not just the screen protector :( eh I don’t care that much, It didn’t fuck up the lcd screen or anything. We went up to Sam’s room and hung out and talked while she did Liz’s makeup and took pictures, and I borrowed a little of her concealer before photos. There was a little photo shoot in their front yard, and looking at the photos I look a little fat in them but I LOVE all the photos taken in Sam’s room where we were all just hanging out. Idk why but whenever you have to do photos and they say to do a silly one, it never turns out good, but the fun ones you casually take always turn out way better. They’re more genuine :) but then it was time for everyone to go to prom and for me to go home 😔 we only hung out for like an hour and a half. I didn’t want to take off my dress, seeing as I put in so much effort to sew the whole dress and shave and look pretty, so I wore it around the house for a bit until I got tired and went to lay in bed. I watched the mitchels vs the machines, which is a fuckin DELIGHTFUL movie!! Everybody go watch it it’s so cute <3 I also played some Pokémon and watched a little YouTube in bed, but feeling unfulfilled and wanting to do something different, I just didn’t know what. So instead I started typing this up as my sister brought me a cupcake from prom :) I had a bite and put the rest in the fridge, since it was so big and in a plastic container. I texted a friend over Snapchat asking if they had fun at prom, and they said it was kinda ass. I tried relating and saying yeah all school dances are a little ass, and my friend group once had anti prom and played dnd instead, but they just said ‘that’s nice’ back and idk if that means they’re annoyed at me or they’re just tired and didn’t wanna text or what but :( idk. Either way it’s fine, right now all I care about is going to bed. Gnight I guess. Also I keep thinking about that textpost that’s like “diary of icarly” and she talks in these simple-ass sentences and now I feel self conscious about how I write these snafnfs. I already know I write like a child in these, but that’s just because I don’t wanna go through the effort of making this sound nice and professional every day lmao. So child writing it is. Also painted my nails really horribly and it took forever to clean up which made me late

Woke up, went to work, spent a little time stocking, watered indoor plants, then attempting to work the register, and organized plants the rest of the time. I stood behind one of my coworkers as she checked people out, kind of understanding what she was doing but not that much, and read the manual in down periods. She had me check out a couple people, and it was NERVE WRACKING AS HELL. Thankfully everyone was very nice, and my coworker stood by and helped, and right as I was getting my foothold, my boss called for me to work outside and bring in the new shipment of plants. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WAS REALLY NICE?? I was actually able to help some people today!! :D I’m slowly getting better at my job which is nice :) originally I was only gonna work 4 hours, but there were more plants to get and I felt like I could keep going, so I ended up working 6 instead. Every time I come home from the end of my shift I feel bad for not working more and like I should have stayed longer. Tbh I think I could do it if I had a proper break! I’ve been doing 4 hour shifts with maybe a water break in the middle because i don’t know how to ask to go on break ;-; Ike my secondary boss in the garden center is super nice and approachable and friendly but the main boss is like. Terrifying. I never know when he’s joking or being serious and I don’t understand him and assffsfamms it SUCKS. But whatever, I went home and ate some Mac n cheese and laid in bed because my back hurt and played on my ds for the rest of the night. I tried a couple new games, none of which I spent very long on. I tried okami den where you’re the wolf puppy child of the precious games protagonist I think, and idk maybe I’ll give it a better try in the future, but I wasn’t feelin it. I spent like 30 minutes on a pro bass fishing simulator and couldn’t clear the first level because the fish wouldn’t get close enough to my boat lmao. Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games was fun until I lost at table tennis to Mario. I’d play it again. But I have work again tomorrow so I gotta go to bed good night. Having to blast my fan and play drawfee on my phone to drown out moms tv again >:(

Ate a pbj for breakfast? Went to work, moved plants around, took my lunch break, went to subway with an expired coupon, ate at home and times it perfectly so I could watch one section of the new drawfee episode, went back to work, made myself sad thinking about the god girl homunculus from fullmetal alchemist, picked dead flowers off the petunias, left a little early, hung out at home, left to go get mom’s medicine, found my dad at the store, followed him around and shopped for a bit, can home to unload everything, talked with him about buying one of the cars from him so it would be under mom’s insurance after the divorce, talked about being able to hang out at dads apparent after we help him move, ate some of the stuff we bought, and now I’m hanging out in bed again. I picked up my Pokémon black save and played a while today which was nice. I think I’m gonna work more in the next few days, be really busy with shit for like a week, and finally have a breather after the 15th. I really need to switch brain gears back into college stuff soon so I can sign up for orientation and figure out finances and shit, but for now it’s midnight and I don’t have to think about it lol

Today was pretty good, but also pretty boring. I played Pokémon all day since I didn’t have work, cooked some hamburger meat, and went on an errand for mom but got the wrong thing so I went out later to buy the right thing. I got spicy chicharrones instead of regular ones oops. On my drive back from getting the right thing, I rolled all my windows down and loved the feeling of driving around right after sunset when the weather was nice but cool, especially after standing in mom’s loud-ass room trying to ask about her bank card. I thought about going back out to aimlessly drive around the park and back, but instead hung out in my kitchen as my cat fell asleep on my lap. I think I’m gonna get paid tomorrow, so that’s exciting :D I probably made a solid couple hundred dollars if I had to guess. Idk what I’m getting paid per hour, but it’s probably ~$10 and I COULD go through my texts again to see how much I’ve worked, but I don’t really wanna lmao. I should just start putting that in my notes app instead...

Just had probably the most involved, longest dream ever?? It was a mix of infinity train and dangenrompa, we were mostly stuck inside my house, one boy left for years to search for supplies, I tried biking along a tail that disappeared into tree roots and a ditch with grass, cried because we had been in the same car for so long I was afraid they were gonna make us kill someone to get past, and at the end we escaped or something and had to fuck up security cameras and get past loopholes and lots of cereal boxes were involved? Idk there’s just so much I don’t remember. I wasn't sure if I had to go to work today, so I sent my boss a text and just kinda hung out. was making hamburger meat for my mom when my boss called asking me to come in, so I took a shower and worked from 1-5. spent some time at the register, and got way better at checking stuff out :) I learned a couple things, and there was one old lady in particular who was very patient and nice to me while my coworker went to go find a smaller bag of birdseed. when it stopped being busy inside, I went ut to the garden center to help price plants and spent the rest of my shift out there. I got paid too! $9 an hour, 22 hours, $200 in total. hell yeah. not bad, although I literally have no frame of reference on if this Is good or not. after work I went home for a second, then got Hardee’s (or carls jr in the western states). I used a coupon for chicken tenders for me and my sister :) and while I was driving around today, I found myself wishing that everything in life could be as smooth and easy as driving my car through my neighborhood. and then I kinda laughed thinking about how I cried my first time driving on a major road asdjfasjdhf. but seriously I love driving my dad’s silver Volvo!! its so comfy with 4 wheel drive and good petal control, its like always driving on freshly paved roads <3 unfortunately that's the car my dad is taking when he moves into his apartment to use as his full time car instead of his shit-ass blue Volvo, and we’re gonna be stuck with the red Volvo with a really touchy gas pedal and slow break pedal. (idk if you've noticed but we really love old Volvos in this family. they’re all old and boxy as hell and I love em <3 ) then I played Pokemon black and beat the elite 4 and champion in one try with a lot of revives lmao. I was kinda underleveled, right at 48-50 range, same as them. I was angry about stuff and in pain earlier in the shower as I washed my hair, but I dont remember exactly what it was. now I have my soft Spotify playlist going so I can maybe go to sleep soon. oh wait I remember being angry that all I could thin about all day was work, even tho it only takes up a few hours of my day, and then I do nothing all day afterwards. idk it’s just weird.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #April 2021 daily #may 2021 daily #2021 daily

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gayghosttt · 6 years

Note

I wanna hear your answers to your questions thingie ☺️

Thank you I am avoiding studying for 3 finals rn lmao

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal, I do not like milk at all it makes me feel sick Every time lmao

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Y e s I love being cold

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? mm usually a sticky note

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t really like tea but I usually have some kind of cold coffee or with cream and 2 sugar if its hot

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? mmm kind of yes

6: do you keep plants? I don’t currently have any but I love having them

7: do you name your plants? yes!!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? currently more words than visual art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes, I mostly do it in my head though

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? I almost always sleep on my left side but I sometimes sleep on my right side or back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? long boy, CRACKS PANTS, What if i was Straight

12: what's your favorite planet? mm I actually don’t know a whole lot about any of them but I think neptune is Very pretty

13: what's something that made you smile today? my friend paige and I sent each other christmas cards and I got hers in the mail today!!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? there would be his nerdy video game stuff Everywhere and my books and movies everywhere and a little bit of glitter on everything lmao

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it is quiet Everywhere in space

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? lasagna is the actual love of my life

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? BLUE OR DARK PURPLE

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I do alot of dumb things lmao but last semester when I lived in a residence hall with my friends i was always shouting IM GAY down the hallway or kicking my leg up high to put it on the window ledge

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I am very forgetful so I never keep a journal or sketchbook consistently

20: what's your favorite eye color? brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t really have a bag that’s lasted a super long time but my little blue makeup bag used to be my sister’s and I’ve been using it since high school

22: are you a morning person? If I’ve slept enough then yes but when I have classes at 8 am,, no

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep in and watch movies

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? mmm probably Steven? He knows most of them already

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? THE CHURCH PARKING LOT WE GOT LOCKED INTO TOGETHER AT NIGHT

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I rotate between like 3 pairs but I have some beat up black high tops I’ve had since high school that I love

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? usually just minty gum

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? steven calls me everytime he’s driving home from school and we always say I love you before hanging up its gay and i love him v much

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes a few times

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. okay I get judged for it alot but I wear socks 24/7 I have Too many socks and theyre all cute and yes I wear socks to bed and I wear them all the fricking time I am uncomfy being barefoot

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Nothing recently but last semester I used to stay up until like 4 am with alot of my friends watching movies and one time like 10 of us watched star wars and had snacks and had a big cuddle pile sleepover on the floor

33: what's your fave pastry? chocolate croissants

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? mm I have a bunch still bc alot of them were given to me by someone sepcial/ for special reasons and one of my favorites is a pink bear with a dodgers hat that was from my dad when I was a kid

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do! If I have stationary I’ll use it to send people mail

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? currently I’m listening to lana del rey and its fitting

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I am an organized messy person so I am like half and half

38: tell us about your pet peeves! when people invite themselves over/ just show up without asking, opening doors without knocking, chewing with your mouth open

39: what color do you wear the most? black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a black ring I wear everyday that was from my sister and it makes me think of her since we don’t currently live in the same house while im at college

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? How to remodel a man by w. bruce cameron, I found it at the library and got it just bc it sounded like a funny title and it was genuinely the funniest book I’ve ever read I loved it

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Either 85 degrees down the street from me bc its really cute and the chocolate bread there is Amazing or coffee bean in my city cause it has a v nice atmosphere and the baristas all know my sister so they’re really friendly

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I have no idea actually

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? ???????????

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? I try to

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. earlier Aaron and I were roasting Morrissey and I said that when moz cancels shows/doesnt show up bc he’s sick its like he just sneezes once and then he’s like,,, oh my god am I,,, Still Ill

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? tuna

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I don’t really remember tbh

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes!! last record was the Uni single release and its clear and v cool and the last cd was a paul mccartney one i think

50: what's an odd thing you collect? pins mostly

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I associate alot of music with a lot of people but one song that reminds me of you is little queenie by sad girl

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the one of the white guy making a confused face is maybe my fav

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? rocky and heathers and beetlejuice yes and I love them all v much, I watched pulp fiction once at like 3 am and i slept through alot of it by accident so I cannot give an accurate opinion

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my sister

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? im not sure but my middle name is dramatic So

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they genuinely want to know about how your day was, when they remember something you said a long time ago, when they bring you something out of the blue because they know you like it

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? yes alsways it is one of the best songs ever

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I don’t currently have a solid Group of friends but between us I would say you are probably wine mom and i am vodka aunt lmao

59: what's your favorite myth? I love a lot but rn I love the loch ness monster

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yes but currently none are coming to mind lmao

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? sometimes I give steven glitter bc i love it and he Hates it lmao but I’m not sure if I’ve ever really gotten a stupid gift?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope, usually just water

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? organized, not necessarily alphabetical or anything but I like things by the same author or artist to be together

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? alot of my high school and college pals

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? mmm probably a lot of dark red roses and little white flowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? kinda depends but usually I like them

68: what's winter like where you live? usually cold and kinda rainy but lately its still in the 80s and hot

69: what are your favorite board games? bingo always

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no and I Maybe would??

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not super into tea but i don’t mind green tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? v much so

73: what are some of your worst habits? procrastinating, leaving water bottles on the floor, ignoring instructions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they have brown hair and glasses and really pretty eyes and live in another country and are so sweet and remind me of a little fox

75: tell us about your pets! I don’t have any but my siblings both have fish and barry is my fav little guppy even though he’s a rude drama queen

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? studying for my finals

77: pink or yellow lemonade? both but I like pink alot

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? h a t e

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? one of my friends used to make me mixtape cds alot

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? at college they’re just white bc its a dorm but at home they’re blue and my dad and I painted them secretly one summer lmao

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. looks like the inside of a blue gelpen

82: are/were you good in school? I try to be, I’ve always had a hard time in math and science classes but I’m good with artsy and english classes

83: what's some of your favorite album art? I have,,, to many to pick from

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? currently no? I’m very indecisive so I’m not sure what I would get bc I would want it to have a special meaning

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? not really but I wouldn’t mind

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? probably alot but ziggy stardust and sgt pepper come to mind first

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? eraserhead, big fish, and casablanca

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? mmm yes probably alot but rn I really like zines

89: are you close to your parents? my dad yes my mom is very up and down

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I really love the Manhattan Beach area it’s always made me really happy since I was a kid something about it just always feels welcoming and familiar to me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? not sure

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? depends on the pasta but generally I like alot of cheese

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? It’s always the same fluffy messy curly besides when I put it up in a little ponytail sometimes

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend tori from high school

95: what are your plans for this weekend? going back home and Finally sleeping alot

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? it usually takes me about a week to finally stop being lazy and do them

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? I think I was ensj or insj or something like that last time i checked, I’m a gemini and I have no idea about my hogwarts house lmao

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? probably a few years ago and it was pretty okay

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. there are a Lot but lust for life by the band girls always reminds me of myself and i’m listening to flatsound rn and alot of his music hits me hard bc I feel like that alot

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? as much as I would like to have things back from my past I would probably say future, I’d like to skip ahead a bit to when some things have changed and are hopefully better

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samiholloway · 7 years

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Post it forward self care thingie:

Self-Care

I'm still figuring out what self-care even is--like, I'm pretty sure if I'd had Tumblr a decade ago I would have been better at taking care of myself, but I didn't, and I lived a long time in this idea that "taking care of yourself" meant basically "paying your bills at all costs". So I worked three jobs one year. I went to school and worked, both full time, for a few years before that. All of these jobs were stressful, hard on my body, hard on my mind, and basically pointless and meaningless. School was not meaningless, but resulted in a lot of debt, which results in endless worry even when I'm not really thinking about it. And then all my friends moved away, I moved away, and I realized that I had no more support systems.

Frankly, I hadn't known how many support systems I even require to function until people who didn't know they were intricate parts of that system weren't there anymore. I don't blame them--how could they know when I didn't even know?

So there was a gap. Something like five years where I was barely a person, let alone a functional one, and I'm still digging out of that grave, and each level I dig through is kind of...Like, personally offensive? Offensive the way broad injustice is offensive, because while I was digging out, I was also learning to identify all the cultural and institutional BS that resulted in my breakdown as well as the personal choices and mental issues and health concerns that did. I'm basically just wildly annoyed at all times that I'd been indoctrinated into this kind of thought that working was the point of adulthood, that personal variation was meant to be stamped out, and that jobs that suck and destroy mental health are normal and expected, and that, worse of all, *that's still the norm*.

So I'm learning where my fragile parts are: what sorts of experiences will mess me up again if I allow them to, and how I can buffer against that. And I'm learning to separate crappy social norms from my personal opinion of myself--which is hard, to say the least.

And I'm learning how to carve out spaces in my days that are for me to do what I want to do, in the way that I want to do it, to make up for all the times when I have no choice because breakdowns result in poverty and therefore limited choices.

Here's some stuff I do for self-care:

I write. A lot. I write stories and poetry and journal entries. I write on my blog and on here and all over Twitter. I write just to write, because being wordy is part of who I am.

I've filled 32 notebooks in five years, I journal so much to get through this crap. Sometimes I even go find actual journal-therapy questions to answer to get me moving in new directions.

I've made new friends, and reconnected with old ones I lost track of when I wasn't being a very convincing human being. They're all far away, but it's better than not having anyone at all who understands me--and that, I think, is an important part: people who know me for real and get what I'm going through.

I try to get out of the house every day, even if it's just for five minutes to poke at the plants or take pictures of some flowers or the sky or something. Even if it's just standing on the porch at night to look at the moon. I'm going to try to actually go places, now that I know the bus system a little better.

I've started making things again. Most of them, no one will ever see, but it's like little snippets of me in a world that's not-me: a collaged page in a journal or a sketchbook, a poem scribbled on a post-it-note, a doodle, a little painting experiment. I learned a new way to bind books last night. I'm reading up on a bunch of stuff I've always wanted to learn and kept putting off.

I schedule my stuff--I'm super into my planner and the whole planner life thing, and it helps me actually get stuff done. But I also give myself one or two days a week to just say "eff it" and drop everything and renegotiate. I usually sleep or read on those days; quiet internal things help keep me sane.

I track stuff. My monthlies, moods, weather, allergy reports, how many cups of tea I drink, what I'm reading and watching. Sometimes it warns me when I'm sliding before I feel it; sometimes it's just proof that a day happened when I'm all fuzzy and forgetful.

I pamper myself once in a while: long warm baths, skincare and haircare days, making my fav cookies just because I want them, using the expensive soap or perfume or bedding or plates--whatever to help me feel better and not hoard up the Good Stuff.

I make a lot of lists. Stuff to get out of my head. Stuff I want in life. Stuff I don't want. Ways I can change things. Things I can't change and ways to work around them. Books to read. Places to go. Good stuff I need to remember. Things to do. Things that happened today.

I try to keep educated on things as they happen so I'm less likely to be blindsided. I want to drop out of society quite a lot, but if I do, what then?

I listen to music. A lot. All my fav things, as often as possible, because music is a great way to replace anxiety-causing noise and to focus.

It's a little life, but it's MY little life, now, and I'm working on dismantling all the mess depression and chronic illness and not-knowing-introverts-need-different-things-than-extroverts left behind.

It’s a process, which I think is the most important thing I learned about self care and mental health: *health* is a moving target, and you have to keep doing stuff to find it and keep it.

#diary #mental health #post it forward #self-care

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tarot-tatas · 7 years

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Ink Stems (4/?) Nozoeli Florist & Tattoo Artist!AU

Read it on AO3 Chapter Four: My Beat

Sorry, lack of update because I have a life.

My Beat - Oreskaband Chapter’s under the rug

The last thing Eli wanted to do on a Saturday was go down to Bibi, fix the temperature control cube and thaw out Maki. Nico was terrified at how silent Eli was the entire time the blonde reset the cube as per its instructions and opened the door to release Maki from her icy prison. “Guess who’s on cleaning duty next Tuesday,” Eli glared at Nico, who froze in horror. Eli didn’t do anything else in the shop. She fixed everything then stormed out in a huff, annoyed that she had to go to the shop on her day off. “Nico, for god’s sake,” Eli hissed through her teeth, fists clenched as she walked down the street back home. - Eli slammed the door behind her upon entering the apartment. “So is Maki-chan no longer a popsicle?” Nozomi asked from the bedroom. She had been lounging there for the entire day, drawing up designs as usual. “Nico’s going to become toast instead,” Eli snarled, taking off her jacket and storming into the bedroom. Nozomi chuckled and turned down the volume from her docking station. “Maki-chan will have to take care of her.” “Those two!” Eli stuffed her jacket onto a coat hanger and shoved it into the wardrobe. “It’s as if they don’t use their common sense!” “Guess it had to happen sometime,” Nozomi mused, tapping her pencil against her lips. “They’re like some kind of comic relief! It shits me! They are my employees for my business, not an entertainment troupe!” Eli continued to go on and on about how unprofessional Nico and Maki were at times while she paced around the room. “How can they even be engaged to be married when neither of them can function properly for five minutes?!” Nozomi closed her sketchbook, knowing it was time to stop the Russian whirlwind from destroying the apartment block in her anger. “Maki-chan and Niccochi are an odd couple,” she started, peering at Eli slowing down. “You forget they’re a couple because of how they act,” Eli spat and turned on her heel. Nozomi chose this moment to swing her legs over the bed and stand up. She walked towards Eli, her socks silent against the carpet. “They may not be ideal, but none of our friends are,” Nozomi’s voice was soft as she stood in front of Eli, looking up at the steaming blonde. “Kotori-chan and Umi-chan are an odd couple, just like Rin-chan and Hanayo-chan, and Niccochi and Maki-chan. Honoka-chan has always had odd partners, but everyone loves each other for who they are,” Nozomi leaned in to kiss Eli’s nose. “Just like how I love Elichi for who she is.” Eli immediately went wide-eyed as a dumb grin curled onto her lips. Nozomi always had a magic charm to calm her down. Warmth spread through her body as Nozomi cupped her left cheek. “My Elichi is an oddball too, but that’s who she is,” Nozomi chuckled, enjoying the blush that burned across Eli’s cheeks. “N-Nozomi,” Eli pouted and folded her arms, but did not resist the tattooed thumb that was stroking her cheek ever so carefully. “Our friends are always odd, and that’s why they’re special, just like how you are special,” Nozomi gently leaned in to kiss Eli gently on the lips, and enjoyed the hum that came from the taller woman’s throat. “Well…” Eli mumbled against Nozomi’s lips quietly, barely audible even as she slowly shut her eyes. “You’re probably the oddest one out of all of us.” Nozomi grinned against Eli, and gently tapped her cheek. “That’s me.”

“So, the three of ya want matchin’ ink.” “That’s right! We’re gonnya commemorate living together before Maki-chan moves out and gets hitched!” “Shut it, Rin.” Nozomi chuckled from behind the counter at the three young women across from her. Rin, with a snapback and baseball jacket, had one arm of Hanayo’s shoulder and the other over Maki’s. Both looked rather nervous, with Hanayo fidgeting with her hands and Maki with her arms folded. “I’m not leaving anytime soon, you dummy,” Maki rolled her eyes and shrugged away with her nose up. “Especially since you got thawed out yesterday,” Rin smirked, “Nyabody wants to sleep with a popsicle, so Nico-chan has to wait.”

Nozomi continued to chuckle, and tapped the reference images with her fingernails. “Okay, this should be easy. Did you want me to do all of you?” “Just Kayo-chin and Me,” Rin jabbed a finger to her own chest. “I’m gonnya tattoo Maki-chan!” Maki and Nozomi exchanged a look. “Ya lettin’ ‘er?” “Just this once,” Maki went stiff. “And it’s going to be tiny...on my ankle…” “Maki-chan,” Hanayo fiddled with the pen Nozomi had handed and read through the form on the counter. She did so with the utmost care and precision so as to not have a repeat of what had happened last time. “It’s a tomato emoji.” “I-I know!” Maki snapped. “And you’re getting the riceball emoji!”

“And Rin’s getting the ramen emoji!” Rin slung an arm over Maki’s shoulder without a care in the world. The redhead rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop the small grin that played at the corner of her lips.

“So, why are y’all gettin’ food emojis?” Nozomi asked Hanayo as she lay on the cosmetic bed with her eyes shut and glasses off. “Well, the three of us have been very close friends since high school,” Hanayo explained, breathing deeply as the tiny tattoo needle went through her hip. “And we each like different food which is set to our names in our phones,” The younger girl giggled at how silly it was, but Nozomi smiled and wiped away the excess ink. “I don’t think it’s silly,” Nozomi chuckled. “Didya know Umi-chan has the kanji for manju on her ankle in a pink circle?” When Hanayo nodded, Nozomi removed the needle and cleaned it. “There ain’t nothin’ wrong with gettin’ whatchya loved tattooed on ya. I know someone who has a mighty fine tattoo of their favourite Pokémon, and they ain’t ashamed in the slightest.” Across the studio, Rin laughed loudly, making Maki cover her ears. “Nyahah! Yeah I know that girl!” “Do you have to be so loud?” Maki winced while sitting on another cosmetic bed with her arms wrapped around her knees. “Hey, I’m the artist here,” Rin mocking stuck her nose up. “I need all of the creative freedom I can get.” “You’re a pain in the ass flatmate,” Maki deadpanned, and winced when the needle in Rin’s grip went back into her skin. “Now Nyaw, Maki-chan, who’s the one with the pointy thingy?” Nozomi and Hanayo chuckled as the banter continued between the two. “By the way, Nozomi-chan,” Hanayo spoke once all the giggles were out of her system. “Honoka-chan and I were thinking about having you over to the daycare one day to do an art class for the children. I-I’ve been doing some, but I could be nice for them to see other styles of art…” Nozomi stopped tattooing and looked at the younger woman. “I-It’s silly I know! I’m sorry, forget I asked,” “Hanayo-chan, that sounds amazin’!” Nozomi smiled at Hanayo, moving the machine away and setting it down to change her gloves. “I’d love to come in and work with the lil ones, but I could only come in on Friday, since it’s my day off.” “That can be arranged, we have our drawing sessions on friday anyway,” Hanayo smiled and adjusted her glasses while Nozomi changed the needle in her tattoo machine. Dipping the grouped needles into the capsule of white ink, Nozomi could not stop grinning. It would be fantastic for her and the modified community, and change the stigma that tattooed and pierced people were not suitable for children. Nozomi smiled to herself, colouring in the white of Hanayo’s riceball and thinking about all the children she could inspire with her art.

“So the white roses would go here, then I’d put in the hydrangeas around the outside. Or, I could just mix the two together so you would get different pops of white and blue,” Eli scribbled and sketched on a piece of wrapping paper to show the two women standing before her the different ideas she had. Honoka was completely mesmerised by how fast Eli could work, being completely respectful of the wedding’s white and blue theme. However, Kotori was tapping a finger to her cheek. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” Eli stopped sketching and smiled gently upon seeing the wheels turning in Kotori’s head. “Hmm…” Kotori pursed her lips and brought another finger to her cheek. “While I do love all of the ideas, I’m still a little concerned...It’s lacking ‘pa-zaz,’” “‘Pa-zaz?’” Eli blinked in confusion and looked at an equally puzzled Honoka. Kotori nodded, “Yeah, there needs to be more ‘pa-zaz’ or ‘dazzle,’ something that people won’t forget.” “That’s understandable, but I’m gonna need a bit more direction,” Eli answered honestly. Kotori was not just a customer, she was Eli’s friend, and Eli held the job of being the chosen florist for her friend’s wedding in the highest regard. “Well…” Kotori drawled and dazed off at a wreath of flowers hanging on the wall behind Eli. “Like that!” Eli followed Kotori’s pointed finger and turned to look. “That old thing?” A blonde eyebrow quirked up. It was a very old wreath that Eli had attempted to arrange with the inspiration of Ikebana. “It would be beautiful to have something like that in our colour schemel,” Kotori grinned and tapped her nails together. Honoka, however, was eyeing Eli’s furrowed brows. “Kotori-chan,” Honoka was teetering around the blunt answer. “I can’t do traditional Ikebana,” Eli finished with a sigh and averted her gaze from Kotori to the ground. She took note of a ribbon that had fallen in front of the back room door. “No one has taught me how to do it…” Of course, no one wanted to take on the ‘foreigner’ to teach Ikebana to her properly, and that was something that always bothered Eli. Kotori’s face fell, but then she shook her head quickly. “So?” Eli looked up, confused. Honoka mirrored the blonde’s expression. “So what if it’s not an exactly traditional Ikebana? It will be Eli-chan’s interpretation! And that’s what I love about it,” Kotori pointed at the wreath again and traced out the features. “You have such a contemporary setting, but there are traditional elements within the placing and your colour choices. That would be beautiful around the lighthouse setting of Sagami Bay!” “Oooh yeah! I see that!” Honoka squinted at the wreath as Eli rubbed her arm. “I...I don’t know...I did that a long time ago with only a video as a reference…” “So imagine what you can do now! You’re the best florist around, Eli-chan, and people love your flowers because you create art out of them with so many different influences!” Kotori gushed, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. Eli hunched she shoulders, she was never good at receiving compliments. “Plus,” Kotori lowered her voice gently. “It would mean so much to Umi-chan and me, that Eli-chan’s custom designs were for our wedding only, that’s the ‘pa-zaz’ I’m looking for.”

The engaged woman’s smile was infectious, and Eli felt her stomach churn away the gloom and fill with warmth. She was right, it was Eli’s custom flowers that she wanted, and it would blend perfectly with the idea of mixing the traditional with the modern world. “Okay,” Eli nodded and pulled out a fresh piece of paper. “I’ll see what I can do.”

#love live fanfiction #love live! school Idol project #love live! school idol festival #Florist and Tattoo Artist!AU #Nozoeli #Nicomaki #Rinpana #kotoumi

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