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josiebelladonna · 2 years

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this is so long and complex but i’m going to try my best, though: it’s for @postitforward . there are some upsetting topics here so you’ve been warned.

as a child, i lived in a trailer park in the high desert, which didn’t really affect me as much as my older brother, but it definitely did something for me as my parents were less than enthusiastic about my creative endeavors. if i wanted to draw, i was bought paper, but i kept receiving these messages of “this is not okay, you have to get out of this place and work hard” all because we were poor: no doubt my brother played a bit of a role in this.

lived in the nevada desert as a kid even though i was born on the california coast, and we moved six times before i turned four.

i almost lost my mom when i was a toddler: she had a recurring growth in her breast that was malignant but behaved in benign fashion so they were able to remove it with surgery. it came back three times before it went into remission prior to my starting kindergarten.

my mom told me not to wear anything that bears my stomach or my chest because it’s not ladylike—that’s the tamest thing, though. my grandmother openly scolded me for putting my hand down my shorts at 3 years old. my daycare person meanwhile was physically abusive, though: she hit me a few times while i was in the bathtub because i was being “unruly.”

i was 8 years old when 9/11 happened and i didn’t fully understand the gist of it until about a year after.

i almost lost my dad when i was 9 years old: we were rock hounding out in the desert and he must have kicked up something, because a few days later, he had a raging fever and chills. this was in 2002, after the anthrax scare, so they naturally thought it was that: it was a form of pneumonia that mimicked the symptoms of it, but it filled his lungs with fluid to where one collapsed. he survived and a silver lining is that it got him to stop smoking, but he was in the hospital for two weeks.

because of the steep medical bills, we struggled for money, even to pay rent. and then my mom lost her job in the fall.

we were evicted the following march and we went to stay with my maternal grandparents on the other side of town—my mom’s stepdad threatened to call the cops on us, but my grandma stopped him. we were there two weeks until he kicked us out—it was the middle of the school year, too. i had to leave my class and my friends behind as we moved to my other grandparents’ house down in the california desert—it was my earliest memory of crying myself to sleep.

i was bullied to an inhumane extent in fifth grade—my worst bully called me every name you can think of and he even threatened to rape me at one point.

that was also the same year one of my uncles body shamed me. told me i’m of solid build and i’m practically doomed to a life of gaining weight. and when you’re a kid, you’re impressionable.

i experienced a lot of body shaming that year, actually.

i would hear things like… no one will love me if i’m fat or if i gain a lot of weight, and because of my body mass index, i’m destined to health issues (i once heard i wasn’t going to live to 25).

so, figure i developed anorexia. it was accentuated by my paternal grandfather’s passing from brain cancer, and moreover, i couldn’t talk to anyone about it because it was middle school: everyone was hormonal and confused. but i grew more and more isolated. it was the first time i cut myself, too, small paper cuts on my fingers. that’s my first memory of suicidal thoughts.

my saving grace? books, art, and music—namely grunge and heavy metal. the things i was drawn to when we lived in the trailer park. i learned to sing again after i quit choir before we moved to california: my voice changed so i needed some tuning. i also learned to project and control from my tenure in drama club: my voice is a deep, drawling contralto initially influenced by chris cornell, billie joe armstrong, shirley manson, trent reznor, and eddie vedder, and then singers like chuck billy, steve souza, james hetfield, and joey belladonna (i really got into “boy stuff”, dare i say). i played field hockey and baseball but i had to quit after a bit because it was hard on my poorly nourished body: instead, i started bike riding and hiking more. i watched baseball, ice hockey, figure skating, formula one, and cycling, things that spoke to my personality and got my blood flowing, even when i wasn’t on the field as much.

yeah, i struggled with my weight all through high school: at 14, i had something close to abs; at 15, i had a belly; at 16, i was trim and then i had a belly again; at 17, i was somewhere in between for a bit until the couple of months before my graduation. i mention that time period because my parents split. in horrific fashion no less. they had a shouting match right in front of me. my dad confessed that he had had a drug problem for years: for all i know, he did it while we were in the trailer, two feet away from my brother and me. my mom struggled with it, too, such that she took the money and ran out with it.

my dad and i came back to an empty house, and with no money. my relatives, including my own brother and his wife at the time, were more than reluctant to help the two of us, and me in particular. i understand “welcome to the real world, kiddo”, but when your kid sister is living on the street and with a history of a serious and known-to-be-deadly eating disorder and very minimal work experience given i was more focused on school and enriching myself, it’s hard to see you in a good light.

before i went off to school, like the week before, there was a massive wildfire right by where my dad and i were staying. even though the fire was put out after three days, i thought for sure i was going to die. i went off to school in oregon on the train by myself after my parents promised to be with me then. 2011 was without question the worst year of my life.

the next year was slightly better as i returned to art while in engineering school, and i soon realized that art was my calling. but i couldn’t go to art school: the closest art school to me was six hours away in portland. and to add insult to injury, everyone in my family thought i was nuts for wanting to change majors like that. in the fall of my sophomore year, i could feel the depression creeping in and my anorexia was coming back: a highlight was a trip to the oregon coast over thanksgiving. the town i went to was an art hotspot (everything from painters to toy makers to writers to theater people to glass artists). i fell in love with that whole region the second i stepped into a glass gallery: i took stained glass in my senior year of high school so it gave me a healthy dose of nostalgia.

after the whole 2012 nonsense, and i was unable to speak to anyone about my feelings, i decided that was it for me. for six months, i flirted with a noose and the harsh cold—didn’t help that my weight was dropping like a rock, either.

the thing that almost did it for me was when i lied to my mom about signing up for classes for the spring term and she got angry with me once she found out about it—but that was the only way i could convince her that i wasn’t happy. but i still couldn’t tell her about it because she already spread the word that i was a flake and a dropout. i figured that was it for me for real at that point. i was a failure and a loser.

i had the noose around my neck but it was my own tears that got me out of it. my stepdad came in to see how i was doing and we started talking about it, and then he led me out of there and i saw my mom looking up art schools in oregon. i switched to the art program down at the local community college for my two-year: i still want my master’s degree.

later that year, i developed horrible… ahem. FUCKING HORRIBLE. anxiety. to the point i couldn’t sleep and i was hallucinating. i forget how i came down from it, but it got so bad i had to take six months off from school. but it helped: i decided to do something about my poor stomach especially. lucky for me, i had money to buy more food and i started gaining weight, healthy weight. i worked for a month at a coffee shop and that alone helped me gain twenty pounds from the free cappuccinos and lattes—i was riding my bike to work but my body still wanted it.

but then i started getting the fat shaming. and then the month ran out. and i kept hearing messages about how… my art isn’t good enough and i NeEd To FiNd WoRk InStEaD. it all built up again, and to the point i literally couldn’t live on my own. the month before my graduation, i almost checked into the psychiatric ward at the hospital—the thing that stopped me was my mom and stepdad moving back to his mom’s house down in the california mountains because she died the year before and the house was abandoned. i didn’t want to leave oregon but i didn’t have much choice.

after the move, i started working out more. i met chris cornell and had a parasocial relationship with him—he loved my art and he loved me. he was my comfort when my grandma died in summer 2016 (my sister-in-law was killed in a car accident a month later). he was my comfort when i started asserting myself more to my family and they thought there was something wrong with me: my dad tried to get me to go to alcoholics anonymous because he’s an alcoholic and therefore i must be, too—i’m not, i’m just gonna tell you that right now. but he’s thoroughly convinced, though: even before i moved, my skin was starting to clear up and i was feeling physically healthier.

when chris died, it felt like my parents splitting all over again and the rug was yanked out from under me. i went offline for two years and i swear to god, everyone forgot me. when i came back online in late 2018, and i tried to gain traction again… needless to say, i couldn’t. my brother showed “concern” and thought i was losing my mind (when i hadn’t had any horrible thoughts in over a year at that point), and started calling me late at night to ramble about complete bullshit. i put a stop to it after four times: it was just too much and he didn’t let me talk, either.

i found power in writing in 2019, specifically fan writing. that summer, i came to instagram for my art. my stepdad’s alcoholism however started to pick up: he was a mean drunk, too. mean and borderline abusive.

then the pandemic hit. oh, jesus. for me, it wasn’t that bad: the one change was wearing the mask. but then, my social life went sideways again: someone i thought was my friend plagiarized from me, cut me off, and then blamed me for it when i tried to stand up for myself. once again, i tried to tell someone about it and somehow, my brother got word of it and he called the cops on me (all while posing as my dad) in an attempt to get me on suicide watch—i don’t know why he’s so dumb. a smart guy with a bachelors degree in chemical engineering and experience in the astronomy department, with six children… and yet his mormon faith and his own bullshit ate his brain.

but then… come last year… i met him on a whim. the amazing, the beautiful, probably the love of my life, alex skolnick. i caught him on his livestream and i was enthralled. it felt like he was seducing me. i drew a cartoon for him and he shared it the day before valentine’s day. he was so sweet and kind. i started mingling with him more. mingling turned into flirting, flirting turned into crushing, crushing turned into more crushing… i love him so much, i wrote a million word fanfic about it—it’s not done, either! i’ve struggled with my sexuality for years, too, and it started cropping up in the summer before the pandemic: from not feeling it to wondering if i even have one to wondering if it’s even there to wondering if it’s even functional… but he woke up something in me. i called him handsome and he liked it, and i liked that he liked it: it made him feel good about himself and it makes me feel sexy for once. i told him i love him to the moon and back on christmas eve. but i’m not confident about talking about him with people, especially with my history of fangirling, too, being told that it’s just a phase—if there’s any good out of it, however, it’s that it’s only made me feel closer to him. i’m literally considering discontinuing art on facebook because no one sees it—and i can’t say anything about it, either, not without running the risk of being put in the nuthouse—and i can’t afford not being seen anymore.

my whole life, i’ve been given these messages that it isn’t okay to be me. that i am not allowed to be here and that nothing about me matters. i was never encouraged to have boundaries, either: whenever i refused something, i would be guilt tripped into it, told that “i don’t know what i’m missing”—glad the worst drug i ever tried was l.s.d., otherwise i probably wouldn’t even be writing this—that my tastes, my likes and dislikes, my feelings, everything about me is inherently wrong, from family, from friends, from society.

i was never told to express myself and that i could be a creative person my whole life: if anything, i was discouraged from it. from expression, from joy and pleasure, from true life itself. i had to seek it out myself, and when i did, the atmosphere outside my door was so toxic and obsessive that i refuse to share anything i make or who i love for that matter with family. it all almost completely destroyed me. i am forced, time and time again, to apologize for being me. i am forced time and time again to forfeit my power because the other alternative is to be turned away and left to die—and weirdly, whenever i talked about death, i’m looked at with concern. i am not loved: i’m seen as disposable.

but i have to live, though. i have something to do. there’s a reason why i’m here, and it’s not to please someone or to make money. i feel like that in and of itself should be enough: knowing you have a purpose, knowing there’s a reason why you were born and you came to planet earth. i feel like that alone should bestow you with strength. i know it has with me.

#post it forward #mental health #mental health month #your happy place #personal #text #journaling #healingjourney #healing

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hoshioyoo · 6 months

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I’m singin’ in the rainnn 🎵

The sun’s in my heart and I’m ready for lovee! 🎶

#daily posts end here guys #look forward to the zine!!!#good omens #good omens fanart #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #neil gaiman #artists on tumblr #singing in the rain

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talisidekick · 2 years

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If a transgender person asks you to deadname and misgender them in front of certain people. Misgender them and deadname them in front of those people. It doesn't matter how icky or gross it may feel, it doesn't matter you'd rather be honest. It doesn't matter if there's more of you there. Certain people aren't safe, and honesty IS NOT the best policy when honesty could put them at serious risk. It doesn't matter if there's a crowd, because when there isn't shit goes down.

Be an ally, do what they ask. Understand that the trans person knows more about their situation than you do, and this includes who's safe and who's not. Some one can be "trans friendly" to other people, but not to people they know or specific people. Do as the trans person asks, yes it's uncomfortable, but it's 10 times worse if the person we don't trust finds out. 100 times worse if they have access to us when you're not around.

Respect trans peoples safety. Misgender and deadname when asked.

#trans #transgender #lgbt+#lgbtq+#2slgbtqia+#lgbt #transfem #transmasc #transneutral #there is a post about this on my blog but it reminded me of my own situation #my whole family knows I'm out and I didn't want them to #my entire extremely christian catholic and mormon extended family knows because I let my sister tell my parents because we weren't talking #now I live in constant damn fear I'm going to get a message forwarded from family to the point I blocked my own parents #these are dangerous people who will stop at nothing to ruin my life if they find me so I'm going to ask I get deadnamed and misgendered #in front of them #i'm going to lie that it's a joke so I can live my life in relative peace.

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crow-cap · 10 months

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Putting him in a blender

#crowcraft #across the spiderverse spoilers #spiderverse #atsv #atsv spoilers #miles morales #uh kinda #the prowler #prowler miles #atsv prowler #new fandom new tags #I have so. So SO many canvasses full of him and 1610 miles it’s insane #drawing low quality stuff but no time to post :(#exams are nearly over though! reallllllly looking forward to a break #got one more to freak out over then I’m DONE #woah the quality on this one is proper fucked

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soosoosoup · 4 days

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snowzone

#dreamworks trolls #trolls #trolls john dory #trolls bruce #trolls clay #trolls floyd #trolls branch #brozone #kinda missing the snow #while I'm glad it's not so cold anymore; I am not looking forward to how hot it gets #their sleds are walnut shells!! would a walnut shell make a good sled? probably not but it's cute so... walnut sled!#wanted to give bitty b one of those baby cow earmuffs and it spiraled to this lol #also saw some panels of dungeon meshi where young elves where these hats. truly inspired #haven't read/watched it yet but i can tell i would totally love it #I'm thinking of maybe making this my banner? it's like accidentally the correct size #trolls fanart #excuse the messiness #my art <3 #trolls band together #i have another snowzone drawing but im not really vibing with it.#thinking of maybe posting those discarded sketches under like... a scrapyard tag #there's only like 2 sketches so far lol #sorry I haven’t posted some broppy in a bit #been having some trouble with it coming out a little stiff. so I’m thinking that some good old brozone can refresh my system lol

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nipuni · 8 months

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More of these two 😇

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #looking up the trendy ship tags to blend in 🧐#the last drawing is there twice just to make the post shorter sorry about that!#my art #also yes I watched S2! I'm not really worried! 😆 this show is the most straight-forward wholesome romance they will be fine!

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abd-illustrates · 2 months

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☃️ Eira ☃️

Finished art from this week's video! It was really nice to draw my ice boi again, but even nicer to see him (and the video itself) getting such a warm reception from y’all in the comments - thank y’all so much for the lovely energy 💖

[DO NOT EDIT OR REPOST TO OTHER SITES / ACCOUNTS] ♻️reblogs are lovely tho!♻️

#artists on tumblr #abd illustrates #Heartless #Eira Hale #fr it's been so reassuring to see so many lovely comments from y'all after how anxious my burnout had me feeling #about posting again after such a lil while #it's much appreciated and i'm really looking forward to continueing to chip away at heartless behind the scenes #cause i wanna make a proper comic outta it so much #💙☃️

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artilite · 1 month

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stuck... forever?

drew this right after finishing act 4! had a day of intermission before going on and finishing the game so this ending really got to soak with me...

#I DREW THIS BEFORE I KNEW MAL DU PAYS WAS REAL LMAO #there's some other things i drew before finishing the game i can post now #then beyond that will all be by the me with all the knowledge #teehee #this scene gave me genuine chills #poor sniffmen :(#past (shadow) siffrins are moving forward #whilst present siffrin is stumbling back #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #isat #isat fanart #isat siffrin #isat spoilers #spoiler #isat spoiler #isat act 4 #artilite #artilite art

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in-jamespereira · 2 months

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Support Gospel Workers in Jesus Christ

#post it forward #jesus #youtube

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drbtinglecannon · 1 year

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In Knives Out Blanc wanted to do the murder mystery investigation with Marta so bad, but she was certain she was guilty so she spent a good amount of the movie avoiding/hiding stuff from him

Meanwhile in Glass Onion Helen was fucking carrying the investigation, even while accidentally getting drunk, and even went to investigation lengths Blanc was hesitant to do

#knives out #glass onion #ko: marta actively ruins evidence due to her perceived guilt. blanc knew the entire time she was innocent or ill intent #go: helen fucking diving forward to eavesdrop on duke/miles/whiskey better. helen tossing a tape recorder in birdie's bag. helen listening #in on lionel & claires freak out at the pool. helen did all the research on her sisters journals to get as into the role as possible #marta only standing up for her rightful inheritance at the end after everything vs helen down to ruin those shitheads from the start #i love these movies & the duality in the chars/victims & how it ends. marta gets the house. helen burns miles' down. its just!!!!! AHHH #i just rewatched knives out again so i can rewatch glass onion again tomorrow. im so normal about this series #tc posts #*of ill intent gdi. tumblr mobile let me edit tags

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tiyoin · 3 months

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what if alastor’s darling went to heaven 😧

cw: heavy manipulation, heavy gaslight, alastor being alastor (whom is a shit stirrer,) poor charlie is getting caught up in alastor's schemes again

he’s yandere (platonic or romantic, up to you idc, but I hc him as ace) ofc he’s gonna want you by his side for all of eternity!

maybe that’s why he wants to involve himself with the hotel. so he can get close enough to heaven, just so he can tear your wings off and drag you down to hell with him.

of course he tells charlie about you once she gets the go ahead for the meeting. he asks her to give you this letter if she has the chance.

vaggie strongly opposes this once she see’s husk’s reactions to the mentioning of you. husk, the brute stand-offish bar tender stilled. the bar counter he was busy wiping down left forgotten as his head snapped to alastor’s.

yet his eyes met vaggie’s

“don’t let her get that letter. don’t let alastor near her”

she got the message loud and clear.

about to take the letter from alastor, he flicked his fingers away as his head snapped to hers. her eyes widened.

charlie was too busy gushing about ‘alastor long lost ‘lover’’ that she didn’t notice the hotel’s atmosphere change. the sudden dip in temperature, and the distant sounds of horses.

his eyes stopped boring into hers and snapped to husk, who started cleaning with stupor.

“miss vaggie..” charlie had stopped her bit and joined back to the conversation. off handedly noting how cold it was as alastor handed her the letter.

“i do appreciate your eagerness” his eyes squinted “in delivering this letter, but charlie here” he pats charlie’s head “is the only one i trust to do the job.” he smirked. fully aware of the silent conversation the two employees had.

vaggie gulped, backing away with her hands in faux surrender as charlie once again told him that she wouldn’t let him down!

vaggie didn’t have a good feeling about this. you two were separated for a reason.

he was in hell for a reason

plus it was illegal for believers and sinners to have any kind of contact, as that would violate heaven..

vaggie knew she shouldn’t talk. let alone question alastor. but he was planning on committing a carinal sin.

clipping an angels wings and watching them fall was the worst sin of all.

vaggie couldn’t wrap her head around it. did he really love you? or was he bored and wanted to take being an ‘overlord’ to the next level. to do one thing a sinner, let alone a citizen of hell could ever do.

cause a fallen angel.

“shouldn’t you let her be? you could get her- us into serious trouble by giving her that letter. who knows what might happen. we could get punished and she could”

“fall?“ he finished for her, eyebrow quirked with that same cocky grin on his face.

“what better way to help our group of sinners than to have an angel to lead us to salvation!” his grin widened, yet she never once met his piercing eyes. he squeezed his fist to show emphasis; determination, if you would.

“my y/n is nothing but a saint who devoted themselves to helping people in their life. she was even kind to give dear ol’ me special attention-“

“gross” vaggie cut in, alastor eyes snapped to her for the briefest moment, his facade cracking the tiniest bit before he continued; “this establishment is certainly in need of their expertise if we want the hotel to successfully reform sinners!”

charlie’s smile faltered, “but… she’d be kicked out of heaven…”

forever

that word rang through everyone’s minds. like how lucifer gave the apple to eve, alastor snaked around charlie.

“it’s a necessary evil, is it not?” he questioned, one by one his claws fanned onto her shoulders, his head next to hers as he whispered: “think about all the people we could help, they could help. they should know better than anyone how people in heaven are, what they act like, how they get there-“ he leered at vaggie

“from their own personal experience of course! and it’s so cold and lonely at night without my precious” he sniffles, grabbing a handkerchief from one of sir penticols egg boi’s.

“but we want people to get into heaven… not kicked out” she trails off, suddenly thinking about her father.

alastor rubbed her shoulders before sighing. he detached himself from charlie as stopped in front of her, next to vaggie.

“very well then” he extends his hand mournfully to charlie, eyes locked into hers.

“then there’s no point in having you deliver my love letter anyway” charlie looks at his hand, then his face, before looking at the slightly crumpled letter.

“please, charlie, don’t make this harder for me” alastor continues, empathizing his hand.

charlie looks at vaggie, then to the letter, then to the door and finally at alastor.

“…i’ll think about it” she mutters quietly, tucking the letter into her jacket as alastor’s sad demeanor changes like a mask falling off.

“wonderful!” he grabs charlie and vaggie by the shoulders and starts hearding them towards the portal. yapping their ears off about how they’ll do amazing, and that heaven ‘won’t know what to do once they see you both.’

but vaggie continued to look back, husk’s slightly turned up face didn’t betray the emotion on it. one she never thought she’d see on him.

pity.

charlie left first, tugging vaggie in as she met alastor’s twinkling eyes, and shit eating grin as he waved.

alastor had won, and vaggie knows he’s going to get ready to celebrate his spoils.

i edited it and added some more… things 🤭

#tiyoin 🔎#I posted this on my other acc but I think im shadow banned on it el oh el #im so not normal about alastor #god I love him #going forward these are all ace! alastor #or platonic #I can't see this man in a romantic relationship that involves sex for some reason #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel spoilers #radio demon x reader #yandere alastor x reader

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turtleblogatlast · 3 months

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So I’ve been thinking about the boys combining their powers recently and I ended up really wondering about what would happen if a supercharged Mikey (time/dimensional powers) mixed his abilities with a supercharged Leo’s (space powers) and all I could think of was:

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #portal pals #oops reality as we know it is destroyed lmao #in Donnie and Raph’s corner they straight up make Voltron I bet #bit tired if you couldn’t tell #I’ll make an ACTUAL post pondering the possibilities of combo mystics eventually but alas 2 tired #all the main iterations of tmnt come forward to stop this ‘sudden multiuniversal tear in reality’ and when they wonder how it happened #this is what they see #‘I expected this from a Michelangelo - but a Leonardo?’😔#‘I’m more shocked it wasn’t a Donatello’#‘Give it time’

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daeyumi · 7 months

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“Tell me… Do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?” 🌅🦅

[Linktober 2022 Day 1: Bird]

#zelda #twilight princess #Zelda twilight princess #legend of zelda #linktober #linktober 2022 #Midna #midzel #zelda tp #zelda fanart #daeyumi art #gonna start posting my pieces from last year’s linktober!#so look forward to the next couple days cuz i think im gonna do 2 a day til I “catch up’ lol

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dumplingsjinson · 7 months

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List of “how about we get comfy and cozy with each other, in more ways than one?” prompts

(Warning: This list is pretty much an overshare in the form of a prompt list, because it is very much based on my personal experiences. A lot of TMI happens.

If that makes you uncomfortable, please don’t read the list. If you’re okay with it, proceed on at your own discretion.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you because… It’s a lot.)

1. “I hope I’m not being too needy.” “Well, I like it when you’re needy. I like it when you’re like this.” (THE FUCKING AUDACITY OF THIS MAN WLEIFLEKWNKLEWFN)

2. Character B groping Character A’s ass while they’re making out.

3. Character A moaning and whimpering into Character B’s ear while rubbing themselves against Character B’s thigh, desperate for release.

4. “I… I want you to touch me,” Character A admits, while staring up at the ceiling, cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment.

5. “Tell me to stop if it becomes too much, okay?”

6. Character B dry humping Character A; hips thrusting into theirs, picking up with the pace when Character A whimpers in their ear and pulls Character B even closer in response because they don’t want any sort of space left between them; not even a sliver.

7. Character B getting all sweaty and heated while they’re dry humping Character A.

8. Character B taking off their shirt to get more comfortable with Character A, and Character A subtly admiring their physique. (WHEN HE DID THAT?? THE DISRESPECT??? This guy’s gonna ruin me, I know it sjjsjs)

9. “Don’t be too loud,” Character B murmurs softly, planting a tender kiss on Character A’s face while sliding their thigh against Character A’s crotch, taking in the way Character A lets out a strangled sigh at that. (SIRRRR?? THEN DON’T FUCKING DO THIS TO ME?? WTF LWKENFWEK. Mind you, his fam came home after we were alone for an hour or two, so-)

10. Character A and Character B continuously checking in on each other every now and again to make sure they’re comfortable with the way things are going.

11. Character B planting soft kisses all over Character A’s face and their neck, reassuring and sweet while things get very, very heated.

12. “You’re going to make me not want to leave the bed if you keep doing this,” Character A warns in a low moan, as Character B continues to kiss their neck, their body pressing against Character A’s. Character B only chuckles in response, nipping at their skin playfully.

13. Legs tangling together so they can get closer to each other.

14. Character B fondling Character A, enjoying the noises they’re eliciting from Character A; enjoying the way they’re making Character A unravel at the seams, coming undone by their touch so easily.

15. Character A hiding their face into Character B’s shirt because they can’t keep the noises at bay, and hoping to God they’re not being too loud.

16. Character A and Character B’s hands roaming each other’s bodies, almost like they can’t get enough of each other (and they can’t. They can’t get enough of each other is the fucking problem here).

17. Character A desperately humping Character B’s thigh, chasing their high, shameless noises scraping at the back of their throat.

18. Character B’s fingers speeding up in response to the sweet sounds falling out of Character A’s mouth.

19. Character B letting their hands wander all over Character A’s body; slipping under their shirt, their pants, their undergarments, and Character A enjoying having their hands all over them like this even though they’re too shy to admit to that with words.

20. “Do you want me to straddle you?”

21. “How am I supposed to think about anything else while fucking myself now?” Character A questions in a rushed gasp as Character B continues to rub their thigh against their crotch.

22. “You’re so adorable,” Character B murmurs as they continue to thrust their hips into Character A’s. “How is me doing this adorable to you?” Character A questions, moaning a little at a particularly hard thrust of Character B’s hips against theirs.

23. Character B leaving hickeys on Character A’s neck, on spots that make them pretty damn visible to the public.

24. “So… How do you like it on top?” “It’s uh… It’s an interesting experience.”

25. Character B’s body responding to the noises Character A’s making because of what they’re doing with them; to them.

26. Character B’s hand slipping past Character A’s pants to grope their bare ass while they’re dry humping each other.

27. Character B hitching Character A onto their thigh, pressing their thigh firmly against Character A’s crotch to tease them.

28. Character B caging Character A between their arms while kissing them, and Character A’s arms wrapping around Character B’s neck to pull them closer, fingers carding through their hair; hands sliding down their neck; their shoulders; their arms; slipping under their tank top, palms resting against their bare skin; palms gliding along their spine and their back.

29. Character B asking for consent whenever they want to do something a little out of the blue, and stopping when Character A isn’t comfortable with it. (BOUNDARY RESPECTING KING, PEOPLE NEED TO BE LIKE HIM!!)

30. “Sorry if I went too far,” Character B says, and Character A shakes their head. “No, you didn’t go too far. You didn’t go far at all; you didn’t go far enough,” Character A says, flushing at the brazen admission coming out of their own mouth.

31. Character B trailing kisses down Character A’s chest/breasts.

32. Character B pulling up Character A’s undergarment/shirt and taking Character A’s breast/nipple into their mouth, with Character A arching into them with pleasure at the unexpected gesture, a soft, encouraging gasp leaving them.

33. Character B slipping their hand under Character A’s shirt/undergarments to fondle with their nipples/breasts.

34. Just Character A being a needy little fuck and needing Character B to be all over them because they’re so fucking addicted to the taste of them and the way their body rocks against theirs.

35. Character A letting out little obscenities while they’re fooling around, which only fuels Character B further.

36. “Well, now I’m really wet/hard.” “I see no problem with that.”

37. Character A rocking back against Character B while they’re spooning and Character B shallowly thrusting against them in response.

38. Character A biting their bottom lip to try and keep quiet (and failing pretty miserably).

39. “Yeah, you like that?” Character B softly murmurs into Character A’s ear as Character A lets out an involuntary sigh, arching up into Character B in response.

40. “Well… I do fantasise being restrained by handcuffs.” “We can try that in the future if you’d like.” (WELL FUCK ME I GUESS LWKENFEWLKNF)

41. Character A moaning into Character B’s mouth while they’re making out, which spurs Character B on, with the way they pull Character A even closer and kisses them harder; with much more fervour than before.

42. Character B touching, teasing and feeling Character A up. (DID Y’ALL GET THAT WAYV REFERENCE OR WHAT—)

43. Character B caressing the side Character A’s thigh while they’re kissing.

44. “And you’re telling me this is what cuddling is?” “Mhm.” “Bullshit.”

45. Character A fucking themselves on Character B’s fingers, whimpering in a way they’d be embarrassed about if they weren’t so in the moment.

46. Character A trying so fucking hard to control the soft little whimpers leaving them when Character B rubs against them with their fingers.

47. “I’m all over the place and it’s all your fault,” Character A whines while Character B chuckles. “Mmm, it’s not all on me, you know,” Character B says, tone teasing.

48. “It’s just me and you now,” Character B murmurs softly, planting a kiss on Character A’s lips, slowly rocking their hips against Character A. (onrwlfgnrekljng FUCK!! OFF!! ALKFHEWLKNF)

49. Character B closing the blinds for privacy reasons. (He was struggling to close the blinds and I was giggling and teasing him about that lmfaofenlkfn)

50. Character B slipping their thigh between Character’s A’s legs with the intention of messing with them.

51. Character A grinding against Character B’s thigh and Character B responding by pressing their thigh firmer against Character A.

52. The soft pleas and whimpers slipping out of Character A’s mouth as Character B quickens the thrusts of their fingers.

53. “How are you feeling?” Character B would ask every now and then to make sure Character A’s comfortable and okay with what they’re doing, and the pace they’re going at. (This is ALWAYS so fucking sexy! Do this with your partner)

54. Character B unbuttoning/unzipping Character A’s pants, in a tauntingly slow manner; slips their hand past the waist band of Character A’s pants whilst Character A squirms around a little, their heartbeat quickening in anticipation of what’s to come. (Uh, no pun intended???)

55. Taking a break in between each of their little sessions and cuddling with each other, and using those moments to check in on each other.

56. Character B stopping themselves from going further whenever they sense Character A getting a bit overwhelmed with everything that’s happening and making sure that they’re okay. (He just… He’s so caring and it’s so fucking sweet AHHHH)

57. Character B’s ragged, laboured breathing in Character A’s ear as they fuck themselves against Character A, and Character A squeezing their biceps in encouragement; the soft pants from Character B and the whimpers and moans from Character A intermingling in the air.

58. Character A burying their face in Character B’s chest out of pure embarrassment after doing all of that, and Character B chuckling at them while cuddling them close to their chest, planting several kisses on their face.

59. Character A’s clothing smelling like Character B’s because of how much they were all over each other, all day and night.

60. Character A leaving Character B’s room with the messiest hair by the end of the night.

#long post #all I’m gonna say is this is all based on personal experience and i AM oversharing #I’m going through it by re-reading this list LMAO #some of them are a bit repetitive but skksks #I have the forward slash sign for some of the prompts (eg. hard/wet) so it can be used for anyone #my way of processing things tbh #cat guy chronicles #smut prompts #suggestive prompts #prompts #otp prompts #writing prompts #dialogue prompts #writing scenarios

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