#and when i woke up i was like OH SHIT

[elfboypussy]

what if your tav was a little stupid and didnt realize vampires were real. this is my vision

#my art #tav:horith #astarion #shadowheart #wyll #i dont even know how the following scene would play out when he tries to drink your blood #hes just leaning over you. and you look up and go oh shit did you trip and fall?? #good thing i woke up in time to catch you #and shadowheart just starts screaming into a pillow she is so pissed off #shes just like holy shit hes trying to bite you you stupid fucker #and tav is just … HUH … #And astarion is just like. . 👉👈 Can i still drink your blood haha

[p4nishers]

let me just say this: if crowley EVER makes an actual move on aziraphale and aziraphale gives even a HINT of reciprocation it's over for him in SECONDS bc u know aziraphale half asses nothing so it'll be like crowley tries to brush their fingers together and aziraphale fully beams at him and interlocks their fingers in seconds. crowley stares speechlessly at their hands for 5 minutes, looks up at aziraphale and faints. crowley gets aziraphale flowers and aziraphale puts them in the very center of his shop where everyone can see and keeps them alive for months. crowley fights a giggle every time he sees them. crowley offers his jacket on a cold night and aziraphale wears the jacket everywhere for weeks and gushes about it to everyone he meets. crowley chokes on his breath every meeting aziraphale is in it without fail. crowley slyly asks aziraphale on an actual romantic date and aziraphale SLAMS down their wedding invitations infort him of like "im so glad u asked, dear, i've been waiting for this" then launches into a rant about flower arrangements and table cloth colors and crowley is left blinking at him and trying not to explode. poor snake.

#i want yall to know that i spent a full 2 minutes tryna spell reciprocation im not kidding #i dont even know if this actual makes sense bc reading it back makes me wanna kms i articulated this so badly im so sorry #i literally just woke up and the coffees hasn't kicked in yet #anyway what i meant by this is crowley is the biggest simp alive with a weak nervous system when it comes to az and aziraphale is #just like 'marry me already u fucker' everytime crowley is agonizing abt if az loves him like that he puts his hand his hips and gestures #wildly their wedding rings then is like 'oh shit i forgot to give u that' and crowley discorporates #bro im so excited for s2 im shaking out of my skin every single minute km not watching it i cant focus on anything other than these idiots #send help PLEASE #good omens #azicrow #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens headcanons

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I'm going to make you oversleep so that you wake up three hours after you were supposed to take the final exam for your most important class

#had a nightmare about this last night #i have 2 finals today and i dreamed that i slept through them both #(one is finished! I got an 87!) #:) #fun fact when my dad was in college this happened to his roommate #dad says that his roommate woke up at like 3 pm on finals day looked at the clock went 'oh shit' and then went right back to sleep #apparently the roommate's name was dorf #because my dad was living in a sitcom when he was my age or something

[fear-no-mort]

pov it’s the night of December 2nd 2013 and you’ve just burst into your grandsons room to pick him up so he’s not down there when you blow up the world the guy who ruined your life is from because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let him stay down there with everyone else which is Really fucking weird because you thought even coming back here in the first place meant giving up forever on anything for the rest of your life but this goddamn kid stops you from blowing up the planet and now you’re basically permanently fucked because now you’re just gonna have to keep on living and it’s because you love him. and tomorrow morning you will be running from alien police with him

#i was going to just post a draft but i wanted something that felt more birthday-ish for The Day #i just think about the pilot a lot. rick thought he was going to just end everything there that night and when he was lying on the ground- #-afterward looking up at morty telling him it was all just a test in his mind he’s just like #Ohhhh shit. this is about to be so horrible. and little did he know morty was thinking the same thing #because they saw eachother on that night rick crashed in through the garage and they just looked at eachother #rick had seen other mortys everywhere previously but this was the first time he really Saw Morty #and they both thought #Ohhhh shit #bc they just Knew #rick and morty #rick Sanchez #morty smith #also do you think they just kinda spent the night outside in that place #like when rick passed out at the end of the cold open did morty not wake him up and he eventually fell back asleep #and they just stayed there. lol #probably not based off the fact that morty was sleep deprived in the morning #so he probably woke rick back up and they did some other shit that we never got to see #i like to think they maybe went to a gas station or something and got wrapped up in a little on-planet adventure #and it was super convoluted and dangerous but at a certain hour rick checked his several watches #and was like Oh shit morty w gottfa we gotta get you back home morty. #and he just ended whatever intense life threatening situation they were in immediately #and morty is like Rick WTF why didn’t you do that sooner we were gonna die!!! and rick cant come up with an excuse bc he really just wanted #to spend as much time with morty as possible so he just dodged the question and called him a stupid dumb dumb idiot baby #odiespeak

[natsarrownecklacx]

Seeing so many fics now not have many comments but so many notes really frustrated/ saddens me :/

people deserve to be told their works is good, that silly line they threw into the third paragraph referencing that show / movie was noticed, that they did not waste their time working on free entertainment for us.

It’s just so frustrating to click into a fic with a good few hundred notes and the only comments are “part two” or “tag in next part” cause like? How about some appreciation for what we already gave you before you start asking for something else that you’ll probably just disregard aswell?

#I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this before #but common people please #Appreciate your fic writers people #our form of payment is hearing if/what you guys liked about our stuff ig #imma start commenting more/ sending in anons more myself #it’s really hard to stay motivated to work to give ppl free content when not one person will even be like oh this is cool thanks #also yes I just woke up sore and cranky as shit but still #this is not specifically ab my stuff just something I’ve noticed

[acasternaut]

allergies kicking me in the dick rn

#woke up and thought i was sick bc well. i usually feel like shit when i wake up + i had a sore throat #so i was like oh i must be sick. but now im actually awake and i feel completely fine other than the sore throat n some sneezing. hm #i realized while typing that last sentence out that nobody needs to know any of this. lol

[hella1975]

girls after an average shift

#CANT FEEL MY LEGS 🧍🏻‍♀️ #tbh i get bad joints sometimes like not awful it is just a little achey bc my mum’s arthritis genetics Got Me #and i woke up this morning and immediately was like. oh. this is gonna be bad isn’t it #and then clocked a 9 hour shift that literally didn’t have a single slow down #like when I tell you we were slammed off our feet from the moment I walked through the DOOR #and it was just a perpetual rush from that moment on. like i haven’t stopped. close was MIDNIGHT #my legs hurt so bad I feel like there’s metal in my knees. i feel like i need oiling #I’m sweaty and gross and tired and achey and I have another close shift TOMORROW #but it’s agricultural show weekend (hence the business) so a load of the waitresses ‘snuck’ outside (we pretend to clear glasses from the #outdoor tables) to watch the fireworks and it was pretty cute. like no matter how shit my job or shift is i do still love most of my #colleagues and we always have a proper laugh together. small victories #AND I GET PAID TODAY LETS GOOOOOOO #hella slaves to capitalism

[cloudysfluffs]

Don’t listen to haters, everything ever spread about Vivzie was disproven. Your art is cute.

LMAOOOOOOOO NO IT WASNT????????!!??!?!?

#WEIRD take man #first of all there are so many accusations about viv this is so unspecefic #also. no they havent?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? ive seen so much proof. i see more every single day #i mean thank you. for the compliment. #but being critical about media (even media you enjoy) is a good thing. #its important to unpack how the creators beliefs influence the work they produce #disc horse #this is the first thing i saw when i woke up today and it baffled me so much that i couldnt sleep more like i planned lol #anyway. im not saying anyone cant enjoy the show(s). obviously i do A LITTLE if im making fanart #im not saying you have to drop a media if its creators are problematic. in facf i dont like that take #just remember you are not immune to propaganda and vivzies rac/ist/anti/semetic opinions are very much influencing these characters writing #and things like her (SELF ADMITTED) ra/pe fet/ish arent helping. #sorry. this is a rant ive been wanting to say for a while bur have never got to lol #im just so confhsed by what this person even meant??? some of the bad shit shes done is IN THE SHOW. its in there #you can see it. with your eyes . help #anyway again this is literally the first thing i saw when i woke up LMAO if i completely misinterpreted this ask lemme knkw #the assumption that ive just taken the word of a few ''haters'' and havent done my own research into this topic is kind of insulting #what did you expect me to say....??? did you think id just be like 'oh ok :3' ans blindly retract all negative statements

[sugaroto]

You know.

At school I had a game with my friend

I would write down names of characters from different media (TV shows, books etc) that she hadn't watched and she would match them

Usually I put the girls and the boys on each side of the page (non binary characters were either at the top or bottom)

And then she drew lines and made ships

Now the thing is. She hardly ever got canon ships right

Her worst cases were close to pedophilia and incest

So at some point she gave up trying to get them right and was more happy when she was creating monstrosities cause it was funny

And I think, the writers of Elite are playing the very same game

They started by making fun ships "hoho look at these characters they look good together" then they messed up "hehe these 2 are awful" and then they went bullshit and thought "YEAH MAKE THE MOM KISS HER SON MUAHAHA"

And yeah. I don't think you should make canon ships of the matching game me and my friend played in class yknow Mr elite writes

#the point of the game was to laugh at funny ships consider the interesting and freak at her monstrosities #and then when she watched/read the show/book we'd go back like hey look the shit you shipped #my fave was when we did it with aftg and i didn't remember Mary's name so i wrote her as mom #and she was in her evil era so she tried to find who was her kid #she didn't #but she matched 'mom' (aka Mary) with 'Andrew' And it was HILARIOUS cause andrew is LITERARY the most parentless person in the trilogy #and look i understand ivan and karmen were on drugs and ivan doesn't know karmen is his mom and cause shes on drugs she mistook him for his #dead dad but who thought that having them to make out was a good scene thank god she woke up and realized and fucking left soon enough #as if almost fucking his sister wasn't enough he gotta fuck his mom too. is that the only reason they keep him bisexual? to have him fuck #boys cause it sells and have this whole drama with his mom and sis??? #also like. literally 3 seconds ago she had the best chance to tell him i am your mother #he almost figured it out #and shes like haha no oh you want drugs yeah sure lets go #elite

[wanoboywednesday]

i want the shanks has an evil twin/clone whos a celestial dragon theory to be real so so bad its just so silly and funny to me i already have this au in my head where figarbro gets wrong-place-wrong-time roped into some epic pirate crime shanks commits and gets kicked out of mariejois bc they now think he’s a turncoat

figarbro is like ‘noooo this is a mistake let me back innnnn’ something something he ends up on the red force and shanks’ crew is like ‘lol captain ur brother is kind of a loserass little bitch’ and shanks is like ‘lmao trueeee’ then they have an epic adventure where they take figarbro around and forcibly teach him how to take that stick out of his ass.

#one piece #the whole time figarbro is like IM THE ELITE OF THE CELESTIAL KNIGHTS I COULD DESTROY YOU ALL #n the red haired pirates are like okay bro but have you ever smashed 15 brewskis in under a minute. black out. then woke up 24 #hours later surrounded by 3 smokin hot strangers of indeterminate gender? #the meat of the au mostly shits and giggles except for the deep scenes where figarbro is like oh actually everything ive stood for my entire #life is fucked up and evil #and shanks like hooooly shit this would be me this would literally be me if roger hadnt yoinked me #also this takes place after shanks leaves foosha but before like marineford n all that #like when they were dicking around in the east blue or paradise or wherever #shanks #one piece spoilers #kinda lol

[bluewinnerangel]

small receipt because im seeing a lot of people comment on harrys state of mind when around jeff or olivia or the stunt crew. my new-ish bf recently took me on triple date with his two best work bros. one of them is married to an italian man, and during dinner we mentioned coachella and my bf made a joke about me loving harry more than him. the two guys (colleague and italian husband) casually said that they had met him over christmas in italy and that hes even more gorgeous irl. obvs i lose my mind a little bit but try to keep cool and they tell me the story of how the husband has this really good friend who has a house in the same town harry does. over christmas they went there with her, and then they went out to lunch and ran into harry, olivia and a bunch of other people, including some kids. nothing new here, but what i thought was interesting was that they said that their friend went up to harry to say hi because they've hung out before, and that he gave her a hug, introduced her to olivia and they all had a brief conversation. afterwards the three of them commented on the whole thing, and apparently the friend made a quick comment about how it had felt a bit awkward and he was colder than usual. i asked them if they had felt that way, they said he was very kind but def a bit aloof, and that the atmosphere felt a little weird, but that they wouldn't have noticed but their friend did because she said that he's usually super bubbly and happy and charming and that day he felt a bit off, and she had never met olivia before. i obvs was super interested in knowing more, but they didnt share anything else and also said that their friend barely said anything else about it so they didnt want to pry because shed basically never told them about him before and it felt like she didnt want to gossip. i just thought it was interesting that someone hes met alone would pick up on such a different vibe when hes with her. also the italian guy made fun of his husband because he had no idea who olivia was and when they told him they were dating he thought it was a joke for like an hour. oh also she was wearing the love on tour jacket which is how they were able to spot them right away and both husbands thought it was a bit weird lol.

.

#holivia #i feel like ppl arent gonna believe this because they wont believe h&o were in italy together over christmas #but i think they were and i think pics were taken (i mean obviously thats the whole point) but they werent released for some reason #maybe covid related #the backlash for going on another holiday like that.. or harry somehow managed to stop it? or theyre still waiting to use it another time #but were all gonna know its gonna be from last year so im not sure how that woul work #unless its like iPhOnE hAcK pics and not pap pics so theyre gonna be like oh look private shit #which like all options are disgusting but like bottom line your receipt is in line with what i think happened? I guess? #like i think harry has his nice places of comfort in italy and olivia just put her fingers in it and dragged her whole fam to this place #and went this is mine now hey while im here- #plus to get back to the receipt were seeing this on pics on vids like he looks like i look when im having being bullied flashbacks in #a crowded room ..fight of flight mode idk how else to better describe it and its nothing like how he is on stage #all of this is just.. so bad. i hope its not as bad as it looks but im afraid its a lot worse #also if this receipt is sent to a bunch and im just here late hi here i woke up hi

[allalrightagain]

On the surface, silent migraines seem like the better deal… right up until you suffer all day before you realize that possibly your body hasn’t just universally decided to stop working for no reason and also you should have taken your meds 8 hours ago

#at least. i really hope this is a silent migraine #mostly bc I do at least have meds for that #(which I should have taken when I woke up and felt like shit but oh well) #otoh if it is a migraine I’ve spent all day doing all the things I shouldn’t be #oops #LT talks #chronic health tag

[bumblingbabooshka]

Yeah. Sure. Okay.

#when I tell you I SCREAMED #this is from Seize the Fire #HUH~!??!?! HEHEHEHE P A RDON ME????? #Tuvok: (just woke up from a coma) sorry. no medicine. T'Pel? Can you slap the shit out of me? #T'Pel: Yes of course. And then afterwards we can embrace while staring into each other's eyes?? #Tuvok: Most agreeable. #this is the most batshit thing I'veever seen it mademe laugh so hard - she does WHAT #novel experiences #Tuvok/T'Pel #me & this author are shaking hands and between our hands is written #'making up traditional vulcan bullshit for the exclusive purpose of humor and romance' #I wish this would have happened on Voyager like the doctor's like oh my goodness I can't wake him up and Tuvok's like #well there's a traditional vulcan technique that juuust might work -stretching his arm out-

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[icedmetaltea]

My brain dislikes remembering simple stuff but will remember the most complex outta the blue things without being prompted to do so…

(Why can’t I remember the emojis but can remember stuff like almost if not all of the first gen Pokémon and their moves along with the unsettling Pokédex info?)

SAME I can't remember 80% of my life but at the same time have a couple vivid memories from when I was 4 so like???

#Answer tag #Metaltea Talks #kbell14 #my first memory is of when I changed my own diaper for the first time lol #I woke my mom up in the middle of the night and she was like honey do it YOURSELF #and I was like oh shit I can change it myself??? I'm big now #friend stuffs

[ftm-radio]

huh. i just identified part of my internalized fatphobia that kinda contributes to my dysphoria and makes me feel bleh.

basically sometimes I have this subconscious idea that I can't be the cool dudeguy I wanna be... because I'm fat. like when I do feel good and cool and confident and comfortable in my body (which is more frequent these days, hashtag character growth 🥰) there's this little voice in the back of my head saying shit like "if u were leaner u would actually be cool but ur fat so actually u just look stupid <3" or "oh u feel rad and punk and a little gnc? well ur fat so actually u just look like a girl lol if u were skinny you could pull this off but nah <3"

and I mean obviously that's all incorrect. your size and shape have no real bearing on your gender, or how cool you are, or what kind of style or aesthetic you're allowed to have, etc

but I guess there's a bit of a gap between knowing that and actually believing it for yourself. so I've definitely gotta work on bridging that gap. :/

and i dont feel like getting all the way into it right now, but Gee, I Wonder if these misconceptions have anything to do with the fact that fat people are almost always portrayed as comedy relief, as losers, as unattractive, uncool........ in most media it's like fat ppl can't exist without their size being an intrinsic part of their character in a negative or "funny" way so of course that easily gets turned into "I'm fat so nothing else about me matters" while skinnier ppl are actually allowed to have personalities 🙃

#ok i kinda got into it a little bit but im done now i gotta get outta bed and start the day #fun fact most thinky posts i make are when i just woke up in the morning and cant be arsed to really get up yet 😂 #oh on a semirelated note sometimes i also get this way about my damn glasses. 'oh no i cant be punk/alt bc i wear glasses' like what lmao #anyway jack stop rambling in the tags u got shit to do #ftm radio #transgender #trans #ftm #nonbinary trans guy #trans guy #trans masc #trans man #fat trans man #plus size trans man #fatphobia #internalized fatphobia #dysphoria #gender dysphoria