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astriiformes · 1 year

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It's definitely... interesting to look at the evolution of the type of characters whose narratives hit me the hardest, because there's a very real shift over time that corresponds pretty glaringly my own life experiences.

When I was younger (high school and into early college) I had a tendency to latch onto bright, eccentric genius characters, not just for their positive traits but also because I was awkward and often lonely and struggled socially, and felt like I could project that onto them easily while still feeling good about myself. There were very real reasons beyond just wanting to feel smart, but I still tied a lot of weighty mental importance and self-identity to characters like the Doctor, and Newt Geiszler, and Ford Pines, in ways that absolutely influenced things like my future career goals and college choices

--and as someone who ultimately fell short of that brilliant academic archetype, in the long run I think it did a lot of damage. I won't say that seeing myself in those characters was exclusively a bad thing (it helped me figure out I was autistic, for one thing, as well as recognize elements of my personality that are also very real during a formative period), but I do have sort of an awkward relationship with how I used to feel about them vs how I feel about them now.

There wasn't a huge transitional phase. I think the main character I can point to as a sort of pivot point might be Percy de Rolo, who still fits the brilliant eccentric archetype but is much more glaringly mentally ill and ultimately ends up on a very different path than he started on by the end of his story. That smug desire to be the smartest person in the room is very much still there, but it wasn't the main reason I latched onto him. And I don't think it's coincidental my biggest CR1 phase hit after I dropped out of school the second time.

Since then, my favorite characters have been...... different. There's Fjord, who picked the wrong patron, totally ruined his life for a bit, and then slowly rebuilt his self-esteem with the guidance of a friend, a new god, and a better calling. Hunter, who was driving himself to the point of a complete breakdown trying to live up to unreasonable standards, and Lilith who made questionable life choices that put her in a similar position prior to a full-on midlife crisis in her 40s. Harrow, who's brilliant and powerful but also completely broken for it and would have been better off if she didn't feel like she had to constantly apologize for existing. And now I'm having a lot of feelings about Andreas, who starts out as a university drop-out going through a total career shift and is clearly somewhat insecure about it who then.... well..... [gestures]

Even when I do like smart or particularly gifted characters, it's for totally different reasons. I like Raine because they're awkward and anxious but still willing to stand up for what's right, and have had a real impact on how I think about my gender and helped reignite my love of performing music. When I first read Gideon the Ninth, I spent a good chunk of the book thinking about how my younger self would have latched onto Palamedes instantly, whereas with my experiences now I almost felt wary to, before ultimately deciding I actually liked him because he was kind, had a strong moral compass, and deeply loved someone who was chronically ill.

And it's not like it's more virtuous to like characters for the reasons I do now, but for me, personally it's certainly healthier to have my preferred archetype be "people who have tried and failed (but aren't giving up)," and it's been a bit of a trip watching that shift happen when for so long I felt so differently.

#sorry for the long introspective post rip #i'm just thinking thoughts lately #some of you have been here long enough to watch this shift happen so i can only imagine what it looks like from the outside #also worth an honorary mention here is my sweet d&d character erwyn #who it's a bit difficult to talk about these days since we haven't been able to play for almost a year but is still so important to me #but who i also created in part to grapple with what it means to fail at what you used to think mattered and still not give up #anyways. kicks my little feet. i'm a two-time drop-out one-time hospitalized four year 'gap year' 26 year-old undergrad #who breaks down a lot and still doesn't know what he wants to do after graduating and doubts himself every step of the way now #but at least i'm in good company #i've seen some people interpret the 'icarus is a myth' in my 2023 affirmations post in a way that's more in-line with my old faves #in the sense of like. stubbornly refusing to admit something might be hubris #but i actually meant the opposite by it. that the fall is real but the story doesn't have to end there #& even if you end up treading water for a while you don't have to drown

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rockettfuel · 2 months

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HELLO THERE! WHAT’S UP?

you can call me rocket, although i do go by a few other names!

- rocket , rockie

- fizz

- newt

feel free to use any of em!

i am 17 and use xe / chirp / any pronouns :] I’m also autistic and jewish !

this will most likely become a throwaway blog for me to interact w/ kin posts!

MY KIN LIST . . .

IDS :

ROCKET RACCOON - GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

KLAUS HARGREEVES - THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

HAWKS (KEIGO TAKAMI) - BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA

NEWTON GEISZLER - PACIFIC RIM

HIGH KINS :

BEETLEJUICE - BEETLEJUICE THE MUSICAL (THE MUSICAL THE MUSICAL)

JAMES WILSON - HOUSE MD

MEDIUM KINS :

JAMES T. KIRK - STAR TREK (THE ORIGINAL SERIES, ALTERNATE ORIGINAL SERIES)

JOKER - THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE

MY TROPES LIST . . .

- GUILTY. SO GUILTY.

- OPPORTUNISTIC

- SCRUFFABLE

- TINKERER

- GOOD-NATURED (EVEN IF IT TAKES A WHILE)

- PEOPLE PLEASER

- SELF-DOUBTING

- STRONG EMOTIONS

- FLAMBOYANT OR A SHOWOFF

- EXPLOSIONS. FIRECRACKERS. BANG BANG POW.

- AUTISTIC (SOMETIMES ANNOYINGLY)

- SHORT AND ENTHUSIASTIC

- SOPPING WET DOG CODED

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pyrozketches · 4 years

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Newton Geiszler definitely only wears dr. Martin's. Like the same single pair because he has no other shoes. Formal occasion? A fancy ass suit Herrmann bought him and those goddammit torn up boots. And he refuses to wear any other shoe. Nikes that will actually support his feet? No, sir.

#pacrim #pacific rim #newton geiszler #newt geiszler #hermann gottlieb #autistic newt geiszler #pacrim headcanon #newmann headcanon

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mr-e-nigma · 2 years

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Tendo: Newt, I'm so worried about you. You are never not online, do you ever sleep?

Newt: I sleep from the hours of 4:30/5AM to 8:30AM and during the day I run on nothing but Sonic The Hedgehog peach rings flavor gfuel and spite.

Newt: Oh and adderall.

#world’s most normalest little guy #(adhd autistic)#tendo choi #newt geiszler #pacific rim #pacrim #pacrim incorrect quotes #source: newmann server

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newtgottlieb · 2 years

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for the headcanon meme - ★/☆ for both newt and hermann!

⭐ :: sad headcannon/happy headcannon

thank u for the ask :] my faaavorite sad headcannon for hermann is childhood trauma shit. i think he's kind of an emotional brick wall on the outside most of the time because lars was about as shitty as you can get when it came to emotions. i also think that he always had autism symptoms, but got really good at masking it without knowing what it was (because he would get berated for them), until he has a shutdown in the middle of the lab and newt helps him through it and's like Oh so you're autistic! and hermann's like What.

its a fun day for both of them because newt's neurodivergent-dar has been going off for years but he didnt know how to bring it up, and the 'quirks' that hermann has always noticed in himself suddenly make so much more sense

and a happy headcannon to go along with it! newt makes it his mission to help hermann unmask a little (and hermann doesnt find any part of himself that wants to complain about it) so he gets him all sorts of fidget toys and a weighted blanket and helps him experiment with different ways of stimming and stuff :]

#unmasking is the best part of realizing ur autistic tbh <3 #lizard screaming #pacific rim #pacrim #newmann #newt geiszler #hermann gottlieb #newtmann #asks #dancingonmoonbeams #also newt getting hermann a weighted blanket == true love bc those bastards are expensive

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teeforhee · 3 years

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as an autist myself, I have to announce that newmann are gay AND neurodivergent!! newt is autistic and that makes him loud and abrasive and he can't handle systems or structure because they make him feel suffocated!!!! he struggles with personal hygiene!! he loves his special interests even tho they're weird or scary to everyone else!!! Hermann is autistic and that makes him express affection differently!!! he's touch repulsed under most circumstances but when he does want to be touched he doesn't know how to express it because he has difficulty with social stuff!!!! he loves his special interests even tho they're weird and boring to everyone else!!!! they understand eachother even though their autism expresses very differently!! they are gay and autistic and disasters and in love with eachother!!!!!

#newt is autistic hc just for me <3 #dr newton geiszler core #dr hermann gottlieb core #newmann #mine #posts for an audience of 1 (me)

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bee-ships · 2 years

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While i love to headcanon all my f/o's as either autistic or adhd I love to think that Vanessa is NT just because everyone else isn't

#newt 🤝 bianca having adhd #hermann 🤝 bianca being autistic #and vanessa is just like i love you guys sm #r: newton geiszler #p: hermann gottlieb #p: vanessa gottlieb #vanessa is the odd one out and i think thays funny

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autistichermann · 4 years

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ok but autistic couple newt n hermann both infodumping to each other about their respective special interests while the other listens really intently cuz a) theyre so in love with each other n seeing the other happy n knowing they feel safe n free to infodump to the other, n b) theyre both big nerds n genuinely enjoy learning new things n hearing about subjects they dont know as much about !! 💕💕

oh another thing! when it comes to stimming i feel like newt is pretty open with his n will do it anywhere even if people might look at him funny. but i think hermann is definitely more comfortable doing it alone or when its just he and newt (who, even if he himself didnt do it as well, would never in a million years judge hermann for it)

#newmann #newt geiszler #hermann gottlieb #pacific rim #pacrim #im sure this is by no means original (also i have 0 followers on this sideblog lol) BUT why not lol #if im bein real theyre both autistic just v different when it comes 2 certain things like expression n social stuff #n ive hc'd hermann as autistic since forever!! but tbh they both are #ok2rb #hc #oh! n im also autistic so. if that matters lol #actuallyautistic #p #my post

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humandisastersquad · 6 years

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reading newt geiszler’s wiki page which says he has ‘borderline manic personality’ which,,,,, isnt a thing,,,, but the page does link to the wikipedia page on borderline personality disorder thankfully. that saying tho he definitely probably does have manic episodes and/or bipolar disorder as well

#[throws dsm at writers] read it #that saying tho i love newt geiszler neurodivergent pansexual disaster™#ALSO he is totes autistic #kinda smad about [redacted] happening in uprising but hopefully [redacted] can happen in pac rim 3 if that goes ahead #newt geiszler #pacific rim

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earlysunsetting · 4 years

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hm time sensitive question maybe but which character in star trek do you guys think hermann would project on the most (this can be in terms of relating to/acting like/having a crush on/whatever)

#pacific rim #hermann gottlieb #newt geiszler #newton geiszler #newmann #pacrim #idk im saying data bc he seems cool but also that feels a little 😬😬😬 in terms of linking an autistic coded character with a robot?! idk!

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the-gay-shakespeare-expert · 7 years

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newt geizsler, #6, 18, 19

*inhales deeply*

(This is for the autistic characters ask meme, which you can find, along with a bunch of other memes that I’d love to take questions from, in my ask memes tag!)

6. How do they feel about music?

Newt LOVES music. He loves listening to it and making it. Music is one of those things that can be simultaneously stimmy and special-interest-y, and it definitely leans more toward the former with him – Newton Geiszler is nothing if not a sensation junkie – but he’ll list off his ten favorite bands and their entire history if someone so much as glances at his piano.

(I saw a meta post a couple of times talking about how he apparently dragged a FULL-SIZE PIANO into the lab, along with several other keyboards? The boy’s dedicated to his craft.)

18. Are they generally well kept? Or do they find it hard to keep good hygiene?

It’s weird with Newt, because normally he wouldn’t, but he kinda has to, since he spends all day digging around in kaiju entrails. He has to bathe pretty much every day, which can be a bit excruciating sometimes because there are a MILLION OTHER THINGS HE COULD BE DOING, but he recognizes that it’s in everyone’s interests that he make sure there’s no lingering kaiju toxin-things anywhere.

People (Hermann) often tell him in no uncertain terms how bad he smells at any given moment, and his response can range from childishly crowding up in Hermann’s face so he can’t stop smelling him to, on one memorable occasion, just yelling “FINE” and storming out to take a shower.

(To be fair, one of them storms out on average once a week, but usually they remember they have actual jobs and sheepishly come slinking back and don’t say anything for the rest of the day. But I’m getting off-topic.)

19. What would be their ideal happy place?

His lab! On a good day, when he has something big to work with. (And when Hermann’s there, but he’d only ever admit that under extreme duress or in the knowledge that Hermann already knows that from the Drift.)

Thanks for asking! 💖

#gaystrophysicist #pacific rim #newt geiszler #ask memes #hope says stuff #autistic headcanons #asked and answered #caps lock cw #long post

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bae-science · 3 years

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it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

#pacific rim #pac rim #mine #newmann #pacific rim uprising #fic rec

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