#bad shit might keep happening

[parkersloths]

Here he is finally! I've been meaning to draw Lykon since forever and I actually started this drawing... A long long time ago, but when I was about halfway through I had to stop for a while because this was supposed to give off casually happy vibes, and that was really not the mindset I was in at the time. And well, since then nothing has really changed except time, but I have a lot of WIPs and I just wanted to finally finish this one properly ;u;

#the old guard fanart #the old guard #lykon #micheal ward #fanart #I may have actually overworked this painting a bit hahaha #but oh well #just glad I at least finished it after so long #things might feel shitty all the time #bad shit might keep happening #but maybe that doesn't mean I can't paint smiling people

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[sonego]

every time you see news about an athlete competing while injured and everyone's reactions are praising them like a hero bc that means they actually care about the team/sport/competition or whatever, imagine me as a dog barking at an evil creature in a horror movie. thanks

#the day we STOP glorifying pain i will finally know peace #try being in pain 24/7 !!!!! then tell me again it's a heroic and morally good !!!!!!! also fuck off #it's not heroic it's not good it's not manly it's not caring about winning what it IS is dangerous and reckless #and risking permanent damage and a disability #and i bet you fuckers would then start complaining about that same athlete 'underperforming' and 'not putting in enough effort' and shit #when maybe. MAYBE. if they'd taken care of the injury when it first arose that shit wouldn't have got worse and become a Big fucking problem #to be clear when i say you i mean a vague general you i see this all the time and rn it's aimed at no one in particular #and also i'm not blaming the athetles who keep competing through injuries i don't think it's their fault #i'm blaming these shit fucking reactions that everyone KEEPS having when it happens. pundits commentators fans etc #everyone is always praising these athletes these PEOPLE for how brave and daring they are for ignoring the pain they're in so they can help #the team or get a chance to win a race or a medal or a trophy or whatever #i understand it's not an easy or fun decision as a pro athlete to give up a chance at winning something #but i think we should DEFINITELY still encourage them to fucking give it up!!! even if it sucks even if it's a big win they're giving up!! #bc the risk of the injury getting worse and permanent and fucking up their career their LIFE for a very very long time if not forever is #just not worth it and not a risk to be taken lightly #i can't believe i have to keep complaining about this!!! still!!!!!! when will everyone learn!!!!! #what prompted this rant might not even be that bad but really i don't care the culture around this in sports needs to change asap #rant over i'm fucking MAD. and in pain (funnily enough lol) #nico.txt

[sualne]

Just saw your head bonk comic so are you better????? You went to a doc right??

my forehead is fine 👍 ive seen a doctor who actually listen (incredible shit) and im going to have to do another test (😔) and MRIs (😱) cause doc want to see if smth is pressing on my optic nerve (🫣)

#i just wokeup snd its fibeam. huh i did split open my forehead like three other tikes after thst #sound dramatic. VERY tiny scratches. Teeny tiny. all healed. #will keep updated if we find smth. if not then silence till we do idk. #it was epic tho. seeing a doctor who looked at my results and immediatly said ‘hm. thats not normal.’ and went on to order some tests!! #thats so different from ‘heh. doesnt even look That bad. dont worry about its nothing at all’ after going back and forth for half a year #unfortunately it cost money. sort of reumboursed ish but might make commish again if i need it #for a while i was starting to think ‘hey. maybe nothing is jappenîg and im exagerating. but doc went ‘thats not normal’ and im like oh #there IS smth happening agter all. this isnt like. me making it up. doc immediatly caugh on my right beong shit. yeayy #shouldng maybe andwer ask ag five am

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30? #idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do. #i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count? #I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post. #why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags* #it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows. #where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one. #this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can. #which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone. #thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really... #...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

[p-p-panda]

Random art vent lol

I get tired of constantly pouring my heart out when asked about my stuff only for it to fall flat. Like why did they even ask me to begin with??? Just to tease me??? 😭 bruh

#this is very different than what I usually post #I don’t really like doing it but tbh this has been bothering me for the past couple of months in different places I’m active in #and it’s starting to become annoying #i listen to everyone’s lore and ocs or whatever the convo is only to end up with like one reply and they die on me. AND IT KEEPS HAPPENING #IN DIFFERENT Group chats #man I’m just so tired of even lore dumping all the time at this point 💀 #it seems like when I actually have the motivation to finally open up that’s when I get ignored the most :/ #I’m probably being a sensitive baby rn so I might delete this later. only wanted to get it off my chest #i can listen to other people talk for hours then the second I speak it feels like bore everyone 😔 #i only have like 1 or 2 people that actually listen to me when it’s my turn but most of the time I’m always listening. which isn’t bad but #man #it hurts and kinda makes me wanna cry lmao #and it makes me just half ass shit at this point when people ask about my ocs/lore since I don’t know if they want a tiny bit of info or #if they’re actually intrigued :/ I just give up now #ok I’m done this is way too long ahaha #vent #it’s not that I constantly want atteion because I don’t and I love listening to other people and sometimes when I ask they don’t talk to me #but will to someone els even when I’m super invested so idk at this point #😞 #i admit I have times when I’m shy but it mostly due to not wanting to wast peoples time anymore #ok I will shut to the up #gn #it’s like 1am for me #and I really don’t want people to ask only because of this post. trust me that’s not what I’m trying to do i swear. only getting out feels

[waywardsalt]

in post-ph specifically a really old idea ive had is that linebeck is extremely, extremely possessive of his coat, but if in a situation where he fears he might actually die, he gives it to the person he trusts to save him, or he gives it to someone he cares about that seems to be on the brink of death

#its not permanent unless he dies. which he doesnt in any of the cases of this happening #at the end of the day its like a symbol of his immense trust and respect for the person and a sign that he really thinks hes not making it #bc otherwise you cannot touch that thing. rn i really only have one scenario with this with link damien and bellum each #link’s is the one where hes afraid the other person will die but hes also afraid hes going to die at that moment its a whole thing #other cases are if he thinks he wont be able to get out of smth without it being damaged or if he just wants it to be safe #theres a bit where he has to be separated from the crew for a bit so he preemptively gives it to damien for safekeeping #generally if linebeck hands his coat to someone its a Bad Sign. something is very wrong #bellum is the only one who understands the gravity of it when he first sees it bc like. hes been in linebecks mind he knows the abstract #idea of how protective linebeck is of it. and he has no idea how to feel the first time linebeck gives it to him. its a warm feeling #with damien its a mixture of terrified and dutiful he understands it as being trusted with it and makes sure to keep it safe #he understands what the coat means to linebeck just not on the same visceral level as bellum. link also has a good idea of how much #linebeck cares about his coat but its filtered through being a slightly mischievous kid whos tried getting to it before. when hes actually #given it or sees linebeck hand it off the first (few) times hes really scared and a bit confused until the idea clicks for him #this is an ooooold idea i think its from back when post ph was mostly going to be a 50 chapter thing using a 50 word challenge list #if anyone remembers those. this shit originates from middle school. the olden days. before damien existed #i like linebecks coat being an item tied to his identity its what he wants its something he finds comfort in its something he made himself #salty talks #post-ph #this might carry over a little to some other aus but these situations dont really happen the same was as they might in post ph

[thethingything]

well we accidentally fell asleep because of course we did 😒 but not quite enough to actually be a full night's sleep so I guess we'll probably nap later but I'm very torn between "oh god everything's terrible and I'm overwhelmed and feel like shit" and "okay time to work on our mental health again and get shit done and I'll probably feel better after doing like 3 basic self care tasks" but unfortunately I think about doing the tasks and I feel like screaming because accidentally waking up at your body's equivalent of midnight will do that to you

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #we have a really bad time and then shortly afterwards it's like our brain goes #''well that was a disaster. better suddenly put loads of effort into fixing shit so it doesn't happen again'' #and we very quickly switch from ''everything's terrible and I can't cope with any of it'' #to being very determined to get our shit together and actually fix our mental health even if that determination is fueled by rage and spite #it's very predictable at this point but also like... please can we just have a chill time for once #we keep going ''I'm gonna have a rest day and just do fun and relaxing stuff'' and then we don't do that #I should probably do that today but I also need to shower #I might shower and then go back to sleep for a while and then when we wake up I can try doing stuff that's actually relaxing and/or fun

[pyrriax]

one day i will stop being afraid of getting hounded for writing something that is less pretty and more just. raw.

#haunted ecosystem #how do i describe what i mean by this. something about the Vibe and taking a less amicable approach to things. #also i might just start. posting shit. who cares if i spoil what technically happens later in the AU. if it gets me motivated then like. #honestly. #also i need to stop being afraid to write sequel/world continuations #i want to write more in the world i set up with asomatous because i think there's more there to explore #also forgive me being pretty bad about updates recently. life hit me with a brick and then i decided playing minecraft was important #(its escapism okay. and fic writing is escapism but also kind of reserved for when im having Emotions. because im shit at that) #i keep telling myself im going to work on prompt fills for some bingo cards i got and then being a coward about it #honestly i might post some anon fics (it'll probably be temporary as anon) and just know people will probably recognize my style #idk im a little afraid of this fandom and i wish i wasnt pvnjdk its probably because im Late to a lot of this and not a stream/VOD watcher #anyways biting this off here #that is not a phrase people use. #its 4:32am give me a break

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

if i had to choose between seth and gabriel for help in a dangerous situation, id choose seth.

not that he's better or anything, but because i know that he'd check up on me and try to help in my recovery. he's a compassionate person and if he could help in any way he'd jump at the opportunity

i have many thoughts and words are hard- but seth is a good and compassionate person, and no matter how much he tries to not, he cares easily i feel like.

he gives me the vibes of someone who'd grieve for the neighbor he had like, three pleasant conversations with-

.....seth is cool and id trust him with my life tbh

You are correct.

Like he doesn’t show as much compassion as he feels, but he tries his best to be there for his friends. He may not know how to comfort people or say the right things all the time, but the thought is there, and it’s clear that he’s trying his best.

When you first meet the guy he seems cold and unfeeling, but after a while you can see that he’s very trustworthy. He’s not gonna lie behind your back or anything, he’ll tell you the truth

I’d trust him too.

#asks are neat #Seth greer (tmc) #he. might be my favorite character in the au actually. #I like him a lot. I like his character #just a guy. keeping up a ‘I don’t give a shit about anything’ facade when in reality. he does give a shit #he gives many shits. #like. even when he tries not getting close to anyone he still feels bad if something bad happens to them #like with Adam and Jonah.

[maddy-ferguson]

the way i was devastated after vol2 aired lol, and i couldn't sleep for hours bc the vol was so shitty. but now, if s5 turns out to be shit af, i would just laugh. gotta respect the character development here bc i dont give a fuck anymore.

i walked around with a stomachache for a good 48 hours like it was really bad for me...if s5 turns out to be shit af i will walk around with a stomachache for 96 hours🙏

#ask #this said less than 96 for 21 seconds i was like that doesn't seem right #no but like #i get why some twt bylers who are wil stans first act like will getting a happy ending at all/will getting a boyfriend/will's romance arc #being good is all that matters and like that #can be done without byler being endgame because that shit fucking hurt like 48 hours isn't that long but it was SO BAD #obviously i'm team might as well have fun for two (lol) years instead of being like omg what if it doesn't happen. but it's also because i #literally haven't doubted byler since like...july 10th maybe #and when you're a twt byler whose faith in byler depends on like whether or not they like will enough to not do this to him and to give him #a nice boyfriend or whatever and you barely consider mike's side of things i see why you'd try to convince yourself that another outcome #CAN be great. when like..it cant be great they already had will fix mlvn's relationship were past will getting a random bf and mlvn endgame #and yk it's one thing to move on with your life and not be a hardcore byler anymore or to be like i don't like it that much anymore but #some of them really started being like you're sooo dumb for thinking that byler ever stood a chance😂😂😂😂 (ithoughtthattoofiveweeksago) #they're gonna give will a nice boyfriend and it's gonna be great😂😂😂👍 yeah keep telling yourself that... #but yeah i kind of get it because i wouldn't want to have to go through volume 2 all over again either lmao #but also i don't because well #they're wrong #and i'm a byler who's a will stan who also happens to use twitter frequently #as for the rest of the show well if it's bad i'll be disappointed #but my stomach probably won't hurt because of how sad it's making me #or maybe it will it's not unheard of

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

This was beamed directly into my brain this morning. Take more ch5 predictions

#danganronpa #drv3 #pluto's creations #accessible art #id in alt text #Shuichi frankly shouldnt be on the scale I dont think anything is gonna happen to him #but everyone else was there so he had to be too #Cant shake the feeling that tsumugi is evil. clearly #Kokichi is SO capable of murder but I also think itd be extremely interesting if he got taken out instead #Kaito was doing weird shit at the very beginning of ch5 that I saw so im scared for what hes doing next #I had a bad feeling that maki might do something if kaito does something stupid #I think Himiko and Keebo SHOULD be okay #its really everyone in the ''capable of murder'' end that im seriously worried about #BIG no spoilers on this post obviously #also Ive get better art posting in like 30 minutes so keep an eye out for that ghdjksfsd

[sea-jello]

yall i had this dream where i apparently got a squip before i started dreaming but i didnt pay for it so the girl i got it from messaged me to meet her somewhere to pay her and i was fully considering just booking it when i was in my car but i somehow accidentally went on the highway that was packed as fuck by the way i was bumping cars left and right. you know those pinball machines i felt like i was in those i was like dinging around and driving sideways from the passenger seat somehow (like door first sideways) when i got onto the highway i crawled over the center console to the drivers seat. and THEN i got to the place i was meeting the girl it was like some sort of mall but the entrance was under a highway it was weird. anyways the girl gets in my car and this box of donut english biscuit thing with pink glaze like the stereotypical cops have appeared on the center console. and then i woke up so i dunno if i ever paid the 300 dollars

ANWAYS all that to say i told my friends about the dream which lead to me explaining what a squip was which then lead to an hour long explanation about this stupid fucking show while we played bedwars. somehow during that hour i forgot to mention eminem dies so now im trying to explain why hes important to the plot

#yes it was 300 dollars in my dream #my friend who doesnt like musicals was invested apparently #and my other friend said it sounded like a bad show #which might just be the way i was describing it but yeah its kinda bad #anyways that hour was the most ive ever talked about my interests irl and its never happening again #shits embarrassing #we kept getting distracted and i kept going 'can i keep talking about mountain dew red now' #i said it has a 7 minute dance number about rich burning a house down and my friend said 'as all musicals should' #and i apparently wasnt very clear in my explanation cause they thought keanu reeves was like actually a character in the show #bmc #be more chill #the squip #be more chill squip #bmc squip

[dreamcast-official]

ugh

#sorry for makin a personal post rn ik its not the time for that but i just need to let this out #i know its just a stupid website run by people who suck major ass but i dont know . what im gonna do if tumblr becomes unlivable for me #ik theres other websites but ive been on here for so long im not gonna enjoy leaving it if i have to #i just feel . a lil helpless bc its just a fucking website i know that but ive been here for so long. #met my best friends on here met my partner on here #i just feel helpless bc no amount of feedback or screaming at staff is gonna stop the shit thats happening and is going to happen #nothin i can do to make this place livable if it keeps going like this #i might just need to bid this place farewell and idk if im okay with that #theres. years of my life on this stupid fucking blog #shit i dont even remember anymore is on here #and it just feels. bad. to have to let it go #i dont want that. i dont #but i also dont want to stay in such a hostile place #i dont know what to do. i know its stupid i know that but.

[vanillabat99]

Sorry for the empty blog, it's been hard to keep up lately. I haven't been feeling well and my phone has been having issues. I've also been having more hallucinations than usual, and they have been much more involved than I'm used to. I'm still here, and I still want to post!! Things might just be quiet for a little while. Thank you for understanding 💕💕💕

#cielings keep breathing and i keep seeing people walking around ._. #not even shadow people anymore. well i still see shadow people but ive been seeing more like. normal human people. #glimpses of arms waving or someone walking by. #AND THE BUGS!!! GOD I FUCKING HATE THE BUGS!!!!!! #i am worried i might have an episode and im getting nervous about what might happen since it seems i am getting worse :( #SO if i start posting weird shit. please understand i am simply hot n sexy n insane. #(< i am trying to make jokes because maybe it wont be so bad if it is funny) #once again fighting off delusions with big sticks but honestly. what if im right ya know? much to think about 👍 #wildly unrelated but allergies have been kicking my ass lately and im also a little bit normie sick :( #batty blogging #text

[magnoliamyrrh]

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#i cant read anything without thinking of world war 3 #the world is Such a mess rn #youve got israel and palestine w the us euro india whoever else pushing for israel meanwhile other side youve got #iran pushing for hamas and mujahedeen from dif regions showing up #all while zelensky the biggest fan of the us on the planet supports israel while hamas thanks ukraine for sending them weapons??? #youve got what's happening in armenia w azerbaijan and turkey and thats a whole fucking mess too #youve got ukraine another geopolitical nightmare #china seems to be gearing up for shit in taiwan #i keep hearing about baddd conflicts going on in india and im sure kashmir isnt great #and im sure pakistan siding w palestine and india w israel will go great #youve got kosovo getting bad again and it might get worse and turn into a whole thing #great!!!! wonderful!! brilliant brillaint state of affairs #how the fuck are we gonna avoid a world war exactly #could this species for once stop fucking slaughtering and opressing each other maybe #we never should have invented weapons like the ones we have. never. guns bombs atomic bombs airplanes drones none of it #we should have stuck with fucking bows and spears and swords and other shit like that