#bang him like a screen door in a hurricane

[glennethph]

Art.

#nicholas galitzine #mary and george #red white and royal blue #nick with the pearl earring #peak nick #guy candy #i want to bang him like a screen door in a hurricane

[andy-clutterbuck]

Simon Casey | Teachers | requested by Anonymous

#here ya go! 💚 #Andrew Lincoln #Simon Casey #Teachers #* #sc #you're right it had been too long #an absolute mess of a man child that i would have let ghost me past the level of any self respect #*obligatory 'i would have put up with his shit too maggie' tag* #Maggie: *roasts him to death* *still bangs him like a screen door in a hurricane* my aesthetic #if you're an andy fan and you've never seen teachers i don't know what you're doing #i will use any excuse to gif the scene of him drinking wine in bed because that is so much my aesthetic i can't even tell ya #that massive jumper in the last gif 💓💓💓 #one day your lips will not make me want to bust through a wall like the koolaid man #but today is not that day #can't believe tumblr is letting the gif of him adjusting the wedding vegetables post #normally they hate it #fuzzies ✨ #his impression of crabs makes me laugh every time

[djinnhatescold]

Excuse me bg3 but where was the option to immediately sign my life and soul and body over to Raphael at the first meeting?

#i finally bought the game #the man is captivating what can i say #bg3 #raphael bg3 #want to bang him like a screen door in a hurricane as they say

[effervescentdragon]

Part-time gladiator and championship leader Jake Dennis (& Andre Lotterer) @ Rome E-Prix '23 via insta stories

#id bang him like a screen door in a hurricane #honestly he is such trash and it just makes me like him more #jake dennis #jake is my boy #voa proxy of dee. i adopted him #andre lotterer #avalanche andretti #fe #formula e #effervescentdragonrants

[bougiebutchbitch]

your gai is so fucking sexy

and he knows it!!

#you are so correct #I don't generally like men but #he could bang me like a screen door in a hurricane #I just want gai to top me help #(says Kakashi out loud accidentally once while watching him train) #maito gai #absolute chad king of konoha #I don't even go for character/reader posts #but it's criminal that there are so few starring gai #GIVE THE ONLY SEXY MAN IN KONOHA SOME LOVE FFS

[mysticalnightenthusiast]

Just RUDE Pierre!

#f1 #I'd bang him like a screen door in a hurricane I swear! #WOOF

[catcze]

Wriothesley can hear your loud stomps from a mile away as you furiously speed-walk to his office door like a bloodhound trailing a scent. Even if not for that, the way that you bang your fist on the door is enough to grab his attention.

"WRIOTHESLEY." Comes booming in from the other side of the door. It's thick wood. He wonders how deaf he would have gone if the door hadn't protected him. The door (the thick, supposedly impenetrable door) rattles on its hinges like a screen in a hurricane when you try to kick it again. "DID YOU EAT MY DONUTS."

It's not even an accusation at that point. It's practically a declaration of war.

"WRIOTHESLEY!" You yell so loudly a group of guards turning the corner down the hall scramble back the way they came. "Open up, jackass!"

Wriothesley, knowing he cannot escape the consequences of his actions, merely settles deeper into his chair as he drinks his tea. His last meal. Drink. Similar thing.

The door keeps rattling as you yell profanities at him, until one of his traitorous guards approaches you hesitantly, saying not a single word but offering up the spare key to his office with shaky hands, head low and aggressively avoiding eye contact.

"Oh!" you say, demeanor switching immediately, losing the intimidating glint in your eye as you gingerly take the key. You smile kindly. "Thank you very much!"

Then you turn back to the door, the threat of violence in your eye as you wield the key like a weapon of war, inserting it into the keyhole and twisting it with a dark finality. The guard wonders if they should fear for their superior's wellbeing.

Wriothesley looks up from his newspaper as you close the door ominously behind you, somehow maintaining a blasé facadé even while staring down certain death.

"Well?" you prompt him, eye twitching like a stressed villain from a kid's cartoon show. You round on him in an instant, too quick for him to escape. Somehow, he keeps up his poker face. "Care to explain where my donuts went, Duke of Meropide?"

"I didn't eat them," He deadpans, staring you right in the eye. He pointedly does not acknowledge the white powdered sugar on his face.

"There's white powdered sugar on your face."

"Ah. So there is."

Another cartoony villain eye twitch. "Want to try that again?"

"...I love you?"

"And I love you. Last chance, though."

And he folds like a lawn chair. Wriothesley knows this is a fight he can't win. Even Neuvillette would tell him it's best to just kick the bucket and plead guilty at this point. He sighs breaking eye contact first like a wolf with its tail between its legs.

"Okay, I'll buy you another dozen of them."

You cross your arms, staring at him. He sighs.

"Another two dozen."

You soften just the slightest bit, coming close to perch on his lap and lean into his space. Instinctively, his arms come to wrap around your middle, pulling you against him.

"And?"

Wriothesley leans forward too, enough for your foreheads to touch. You can feel the breath of his sigh against your lips.

"And you have my sincerest apologies for taking your things. In my defense, I thought they were mine at first.”

“Apology accepted,” you say, satisfied, and peck him quickly on the lips. Before it can turn into anything else though, you’re springing up from his lap. Ignoring the disappointed furrow in his brow and the way his arms have still not moved from their position holding you earlier, you take his hand and pull him up from his chair with such startling enthusiasm and surprising strength that it has him stumbling for a second. You pull him towards the door regardless.

“C’mon, you’re making good on that apology right now, Wrio! Hope you finished your work!”

And no, technically he hasn’t finished his work. But he already knows that you’ve got him wrapped around your finger, and that pushing that work to tomorrow wouldn’t hurt. Probably. Whatever— it’d be worth it.

So he just sighs and gives the palm resting in his a squeeze and let’s himself be pulled along. You squeeze back.

“As long as you let me have a few. Those were pretty good.”

#Wriothesley x reader #Genshin Impact x reader #Wriothesley #Genshin Impact #Cw GN reader #「 🐈‍⬛ 」 catcze.desserts #probably terribly ooc BUT ITS CUTE so get offa me #if the pacing is weird it’s bc I wrote it on mobile bc nails make typing so HARD

[fettuccin-e]

Strictly Stress Relief

Kinktober Day 21: Hate Sex

Tags: Javier Peña x Reader, afab!fem!reader, unprotected piv (pls oh pls wrap it irl i'm begging), pulling out method lol, hate fucking, semi-public sex (in a supply closet), slight amounts of pining because i am weak for romance (w/c: 1K)

A/N: Back to Javi because this man is a bastard but damn it I'd really like to bang him like a screen door in a hurricane,, anyway I also couldn't help myself from sliding in a little bit of yearning because I need the romance okay?? (For Kinktober I have been using these prompts from flightlessangelwings!)

Javier doesn’t really know when it started, how it started. 

He knows that you just get to him, in ways that he’s never felt before. You dig under his skin with smarmy comments under your breath, going behind his back with intel and planning raids without him involved.

“You’re reckless, Javier,” you say to him as an excuse, even as he looms over you, his jaw clenched with unshed rage. “It’s going to get you, or worse, somebody else, killed.” You're always so cool and collected, like you hadn't just stolen his fucking win.

He knows he drives you crazy with his methods of collecting intel, the girls that he brings in for questioning. He knows that you hate when he breaks protocol, and that you hate it even more when it works.

He knows that when you both used to butt heads, small arguments turning into full screaming matches at the office, he’d go home and drink half a bottle of whiskey, call one of the girls that always lets him treat her exactly how he wants. He’d fuck her rough, violent, working out every single bit of anger you’d stirred up in him that day. Usually, it was enough anger that it left the poor girl with bruises on her hips and a hefty tip in her bag.

What he doesn’t know is how he deviated from that habit, how he’s got you here, right now, pressed up against him in a supply closet of all places. He doesn’t know how he came into this new addiction, turning your arguments into excuses to fuck you anywhere, anytime.

He’s not sure you know how this happened either, but God, the way it feels inside of you makes him not want to fucking worry about it anymore. Your nails dig into his shoulders, a bite of pain that makes everything so much sweeter as he fucks you into the door of the closet.

You’re both making too much noise, but fuck, it doesn’t matter when you whine into his mouth, biting into his bottom lip.

“Fuck, Javi, harder, you have to fuck me harder,” you gasp, one of your legs hitched onto his hip to get him even deeper. The sticky wetness of your cunt is sticking to the wiry hairs at the base of his dick every time he pushes in deep.

“If I fuck you any harder, we’ll break down the goddamn door,” he grunts, but he grabs your hips anyway, pulling you into every one of his thrusts and grinning when you keen, your head tilting back to lean into the door. “Fucking needy, hermosa,” he grins, and you sneer at him.

“If you could fuck me better, maybe I wouldn’t be so needy,” you snarl, moving your hips forward to keep meeting him every time he drives forward.

“You say that I’m not fucking you like you need, baby,” he says, leaning close enough that his lips nearly brush yours. “But the way this pretty pussy is dripping down my cock tells a different story.”

He angles his hips just a little different, pounding up into your cunt, and he knows when he’s found it. That little spot inside that makes your eyes roll back, makes you clamp a hand over your mouth to stifle the way you scream. He slams up into that perfect little spot, over and over and over, relishing in the way you clench around him every time he reaches it.

“Fuck, baby,” he grunts, sweat beading on his forehead, his curls sticking to his skin. “So pretty like this, taking my cock so well. If I knew that this is what I needed to do to shut that smart mouth up, I would’ve been fucking this sweet pussy for months now.” 

You gasp around a response, unable to form words as Javier breaks you apart, his cock jamming into parts of you that you can’t even reach on your own. He fucks you like he fights with you; rough, primal, reckless. Strangled groans rip their way from his chest, and fuck, he can feel his orgasm creeping up, threatening to blow him to pieces right then and there.

You have to cum first. He has to make sure you cum first.

He reaches a hand between you both to rub maddening, tight circles into your clit, and God, the way you whine, high in the back of your throat, will haunt his fucking dreams tonight.

You’re goddamn beautiful when you cum, an angel in real time, though Javier will never admit that out loud. This is strictly stress relief. Mind-boggling, life-altering stress relief. 

Javier pulls out of you when you shake through the aftershocks of your orgasm, furiously jacking his cock in his hand and gasping at the way you look up at him, all doe-eyed and goddamn beautiful. You moan softly when he splatters his cum all over the outside of your pussy, letting it drip down your skin. It fuels something deep inside him, fills him with a sense of ownership that he should not be fucking feeling.

When you both finally catch your breaths, you pick your skirt up off the ground, yanking it up and over your hips. Javier ignores the fact that you don’t wipe yourself off, that you didn’t tug your panties back on. He absolutely does not think about the fact that his cum will be dripping down your thighs throughout your ride home tonight.

“You should-” you breathe, glancing up at him. “You should follow that intel we got today. You questioned that girl in the first place, it should be your win.” There’s something in the way you say “questioned” that makes his heart beat hard in his chest. It sounds bitter, jealous even.

You break from his gaze, not offering anything more than that as you tug on your heels. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Javier,” you mutter, and you slip out of the closet without another word.

#do i want to smack him or fuck him #the correct answer is both #javier pena x you #javier peña x reader #javier pena x reader #javier pena smut #javier peña x female reader #javier pena fanfiction #narcos smut #narcos fanfiction

[love-fictional-ppl]

I have a request for One Piece Men (Monster Trio + Ace, Sabo, Law, and Kid) having a S/O who is a tiny little lady who has a high metabolism and thusly has an appetite that could rival Luffy’s.

I imagine them sitting in a restaurant eating dinner, and their S/O is eating a steak half the size of the table and comes with a side of prawns and a baked potato, and some uppity “Almond Mom” sitting at the table next to them says out loud that “Women shouldn’t eat such large portions, because it’s unladylike and makes men feel uncomfortable.” And Reader replies to this with “Oh, I’m very sorry if I made YOU uncomfortable ma’am. You see, I have a high metabolism, and I need the energy for later cause I plan on banging my boyfriend here like a screen door in a hurricane later.”

YESSS I personally can relate to this other than being a tiny little lady😭🤞 I decided to make this 2 parts so in the second part will be sabo law and kid. I hope you like this and ty for the request🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Petite!Fem!Reader w/ a high metabolism

Summary: look at the request silly goose🤭

Pairings: Monkey D. Luffy x fem!reader, Roronoa Zoro x fem!reader, Vinsmoke Sanji x fem!reader, Portgas D. Ace x fem!reader,

Warnings: language, mentions of sex, drinking, kinda crack

Monkey D. Luffy:

Honestly seeing you scarf down almost everything Sanji cooked turned him on is what peeked his interest

Food will be one of your few common interests, but food has definitely started arguments

One time you took a potato off his plate without asking… he yelled, borderline barking, at you

Next week the roles were reversed…

If he knows you haven’t eaten in awhile he’ll run to you wherever you are on the ship, handing you a piece of meat

But now to the good stuff😎

After stopping on an island and wandering in the local town for a hour or so you and Luffy decide to stop somewhere to eat.

Upon arrival, you and Luffy sit at a table together and order almost everything in the restaurant’s supply. The face on many of the customers and even workers were shocked to see how much you two ordered. Neither you nor Luffy had a care in the world while you devoured your food.

While taking a moment to wipe your mouth, you hear a woman say, “Girls like her are the reason we use our manners. it’s unlady like and makes men uncomfortable-“

“My boyfriend doesn’t seem uncomfortable. Matter of fact, the only one here who looks uncomfortable is you. See, right now I’m storing as much energy as possible because me and my boyfriend are going to be fucking like rabbits. Teach your daughter to be cunt if you want but don’t bring me into it.”

After hearing you respond the woman sat there shocked for a good minute then, she snatched up her daughter’s arm and dragged her out the restaurant, fuming.

Luffy simply chuckled, “That was hot. Can we go back now?”

Roronoa Zoro:

At first he thought you were just a female Luffy

Honestly he probably only got to know you because he saw you kick a grown man off his feet (Zoro thought it was hot)

After getting to know you and understand why you eat so much, he would start giving you food

Once you two become a couple tho he especiallyyyyy makes sure you eat

Now for the story

After a long day of Zoro getting you both lost, he decided that he needed a drink. Upon that revelation you found a nearby cavern.

Zoro ordered himself a couple rounds of drink while ordering you almost everything on the menu. Zoro every now and then snatched a couple fries but mostly left the food to you.

While you’re both enjoying your company, you hear a shrill voice say, “women like her are the reason we use our table manners, girls aren’t supposed to eat like that, it makes men uncomfortable-“

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Zoro quickly responds.

“The only uncomfortable one is you, miss. Now if you don’t mind me I need as much energy for tonight as I can get, because my very much so not uncomfortable boyfriend is going to rock my world.”

The woman simply kept her mouth shut and went back to eating.

Zoro laughs heartily, “that lady has never seen Luffy eat, that’s actually disturbing compared to you eating. Let’s pay and go home though, so I can ‘rock your world’”

Vinsmoke Sanji:

When he first met you he used his cooking skills to try to win your heart

It worked

He honestly loves to cook for you tho

Brings you with him to shop for food so that you can pick what you want him to cook

Which tbh is how yall would get into the situation

“Woahhhh!” You say mesmerized by all the different products. “Look, Sanji, that would be super yummy.”

Sanji who will do whatever you ask, picks up the item you were looking at. Arms full of food, you’re talking about everything you want Sanji to cook for dinner.

All of a sudden you hear a woman say, “hear what she’s saying? No girl is supposed to eat that much food. It’s unhealthy and men find it disturbing.” The little girl she’s talking to simply nods.

Aggravated by the woman’s words, you respond, “It actually is healthy thank you. Girls can eat however much they want. Men don’t find eating disturbing and I can tell you that, because my boyfriend right here plans to cook this food for me and our crew.”

“Damn straight,” Sanji back you up proudly.

Having nothing more to say, you both walk away from the woman and head toward the docks for the ship.

Portgas D. Ace:

The first thing he said to you was “got quite the appetite, huh?” With a smirk on his face ofc

Like 30 seconds later he accidentally fell asleep

Overall just likes to tease you about your appetite (in a nice way tho🫶)

Has compared the way you eat to Luffy

One time asked if you can unhinge your jaw to eat

Similar to Zoro tho he probably was just going to get a drink with you when some cunt said something

Honestly in your opinion you ordered less food than usual, more than most people would order, but less than you would get.

You and Ace are talking about your latest adventure over some food and drinks, when you hear, “You see how much she’s eating? It’s unnatural and makes men feel uncomfortable.”

“Who’s uncomfortable you?” Ace asks. The woman looks up just to see Ace fell asleep right after speaking.

You decided it was your turn to say something, “it’s not unnatural, I have a high metabolism and I need my energy at that because tonight I plan on taking him for a ride.”

You turn back to your food and continue eating, after a minute or so, Ace woke up. He had asked what happened and you filled him in on what you said.

He laughed, “that’s my girl.”

Part 2

#one piece #opla #monkey d. luffy #black leg sanji #monkey d luffy x reader #straw hat pirates #straw hat luffy #roronoa zoro #zoro roronoa x reader #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #portgas d ace #portgas ace x reader

[cambion-companion]

What if you are someone, like myself, who cannot STAND any kind of heat.

So, before banging him like a screen door in a hurricane becoming intimate, Raphael puts a RING OF FIRE RESISTANCE onto your finger.

Probably also making a cheeky comment about how you shouldn't read too much into the gesture.

#raphael bg3 #cambion thoughts

[glennethph]

Dem tiddies.

#taylor zakhar perez #guy candy #i want to bang him like a screen door in a hurricane #dem tiddies #red white and royal blue #minx

[andy-clutterbuck]

Teachers - 1x01 ➔ requested by Anonymous

#here ya go! 💚 #Andrew Lincoln #Raquel Cassidy #Teachers #* #how susan ever put up with him i'll never know #me as susan #except i would have banged that like a screen door in a hurricane and ruined everything #.....so like....not susan at all #keep him around because he's pretty #if self destructive

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Happy anniversary, VII

I cannot believe it's been a whole year since I posted VII. I wrote and posted it at a pretty dark time for me, and figured it'd be a weird little oneshot that some people might like but would ultimately just kind of. exist.

That is not what happened. I'm still overwhelmed by the response it got. To the folks who loved it and left such wonderful comments, you will never know how much that mattered to me -- and still matters to me. And to everyone who has shared their love for the sequel or helped build that world with me, thank you all so, so much. It's been so fun and such a thrill to see your reactions and your support for my codependent trauma buddies.

I was really hoping to have a new chapter of A long, hard road to post today, but the brain is just not braining right now. Fingers crossed for March 19 (the anniversary of ALHR)!

If you haven't read VII/ALHR, you can read them here: Your legs give way, you hit the ground

I cursed my readers with this snippet, so now Tumblr gets cursed too. (If you haven't read any of it yet, this is not indicative of the fic whatsoever):

Maybe-canon-but-probably-not omake: Because no one has any chill whatsoever “Okay, so you think it’s romantic that he would, like, literally sew you two together if he could. We’re going to ignore how weird that is for the moment.” “Ronald…” “But mate, he’s a giant, skeletal snake-man. You can’t honestly say you find him attractive.” Harry mutters something under his breath that sounds a little too much like, “Oh, can’t I?” for his friends’ tastes. “Is this some problematic holdover of your infatuation with the diary horcrux?” Hermione asks as Harry sputters and turns bright red. “No!” he shouts. And, after a suspicious delay, “And I wasn’t ‘infatuated’ with the diary!” Ron and Hermione both give him a look at that. Traitors. “Psychologists would fight to the death for the chance to sort through all your issues, Harry.” “Sy-ko-wha?” “Good to know if I ever decide to hold gladiatorial contests,” Harry says dryly. The topic of conversation dies out for a couple minutes before Ron turns back to Harry and looks him dead in the eye. “So, given the chance – you would bang the snake-man?” Hermione puts her head in her hands and regrets several life choices. Harry sighs. “Like a screen door in a hurricane.” Ron chokes on air.  “Harry!” “He asked!”

#VII #harrymort #harry potter #voldemort #fic anniversary #i love my readers #codependent trauma buddies #a long hard road #the fic is angsty fluff #so i post the full-on crack snippet #why am i like this #♡♡♡

[poppy-in-the-woods]

Headcanons for Noah dating a woman that has Spanish as her mother tongue (whether she's from LATAM or Spain, I tried to keep it vague enough that either fits) because I need to daydream.

He's trying to learn some Spanish because he knows you miss it and you like to hear it, especially during lovemaking.

You swear a lot. When you're angry, when you're happy, when you hurt yourself... he's trying to learn the nuances of each case.

Your accent gets thicker when you're angry, but he thinks it's sexy. He gets a very confused boner when you direct your anger at him.

"Que me des como a cajón que no cierra, te digo!" "What?" "Ok, what's the equivalent... bang me like a screen door in a hurricane!" "Oh. With pleasure"

Watching TV from your homecountry together. He finds it really funny watching more or less the same cartoons as he did, but in Spanish. "They all sound so weird!"

He asks you about the meaning of random words in Spanish. You tell them that's not from your country, that's slang from this other Spanish speaking country. "So you don't know what that means?" "Yes, I know, but if I don't, that's what I have the Panhispanic Dictionary for" "The what?" "El Diccionario Panhispánico de Dudas, amor. That fat book over there? You can access it on the internet too"

Him researching about your country's culture and trying to cook traditional dishes.

If someone makes fun of your accent or treats you like you're dumb because of it, he's so ready to throw hands! "Do you know how smart she's in Spanish??" and "Her English is not perfect because she speaks two languages, you only speak one and you can't even get it right, asshole"

"Mi amorrrr"

#headcanons #noah sebastian #noah sebastian headcanons #poppy writes #poppy's headcanons

[sorcerous-caress]

Hello! I’m the anon who talked about the modern au loser high elf a little while back and I’m back with an idea that hit me like a truck :) After the adorable pathetic loser and you establish a friendship (and start banging like a screen door in a hurricane), what if you start hinting at possibly making homemade porn videos with your best friend >:) Initially teasing him about his disgustingly huge xhuman porn collection, suggesting that if he struggles to find something that caters to his tastes then maybe the two of you could figure something out 👀… And maybe one day, after some creative camerawork, editing, and maybe some illusion charms to hide both your identities, he gets to post a homemade video to one of the dirty human kink forums he frequents of you bouncing that soft, squishy, sinful human body on his dick while he b e g s for you to let him cum in a mix of elvish and common ☺️ (Also may I be 🩵 anon? I know I’m gonna be back for more later 😁)

Screendoor in a hurricane indeed, gonna make the big bang look like a tea party.

We should probably give him a name eventually huh?

But fuck can you imagine it? This loser elf guy who frequents the kink forums and keeps sharing links and fantasies so much that he is definitely well known amongst the degenerates there.

One day, he just goes offline, maybe for a week or a month, and his online friends are asking about him.

And when he eventually comes back, his first post is a video of a cute human on his lap, his cock squeezed between your soft thighs with the camera only showing up to your chest.

He's leaking pre-cum just by being squeezed between your thighs, cock twitching and painfully hard. His hands squeezing your chest as he struggles not to thrust his hips forward and fuck your thighs.

The camera audio is picking up his quiet voice, shameful whispers in elvish as he begs you to let him fuck you. Pleading to allow his cock inside you and let him feel your hot wet walls clamming down around him. You coo at him as you rub your thighs together and the most pathetic moan leaves him, his fingers visibly shaking.

You're not even touching him, your hands are on the bed as you sit comfortably on his lap. He's been keeping you inside all day, orgasm after orgasm was coaxed out of you since sunrise until now.

This is payback for him being such a greedy pervert, for not being able to sit next to a human without his cock getting hard, and suddenly his fingers are pulling at the hems of your clothes and he's eyeing the space between your legs while licking his lips.

What's a better way than to teach him some discipline than edge him endlessly while on being recorded? So you can show all of the human kink losers he calls friends in the forum how much they can't truly handle a human in bed.

The second you post the video, it suddenly shots up to the top of the page. Comment after comment, hit after hit. People wonder if that's a real human, did a human actually find their forum?

But even the mods of the forum can't keep their braincells from slipping away while watching your video. Especially with how you keep pushing the elf until he crumbles, whining and crying for your human hole, talking about how he's willing to do anything just to make love to you again.

High elves really rarely use dirty words, yet the camera stand witness to all the perverted things you made him admit. Telling him to ask to fuck you, it's not make love.

The camera can't see the way his lips tremble as his pointy ears lower down slightly. He's using common this time as he asks to fuck you, please have mercy.

And you let him, giving him the permission.

He slips in you, his cum still inside you from earlier makes this easier. And fuck he's cumming already, just barely bottomed out as he's switching back to elvish and becoming a moaning mess while filling you with his cum.

But he still goes on, continues pumping and fucking into you through the overwhelming pleasure. It's like he's addicted to your body, the way his hands grip possessively at whatever they can hold, the way he keeps calling you these sweet titles in elvish that are normally only reserved for your spouce.

With the first video being such a massive hit, people are already overflowing his inbox with requests, even offering to pay for commissions.

Most of the focus is on you, they want to see the cute human ride dildos in shapes of various races. A dragonborn's massive one with rigges scales, a demon's shaped one with blunt spikes and a mean big head, an aasimar's one that curves just right to bully that sensitive spot inside you with the most beautiful colours.

People want to see the human take two or three at once, see you in a collar with a leash or on a throne with a leather whip. Some want you in frilly pink lingerie with your ass out, others prefer a classy red tight dress with your chest exposed.

A smaller group that's made of fellow elves, want to see you with your loser high elf boyfriend. Want to see him dress you up in traditional elvish clothes before ripping them off of you. Want him to teach you the most lewd words in elvish and make you repeat them while he fucks you.

Whenever you're busy or away and he can't bother you with his kisses or needy cock, he's browsing the forum and answering all the questions thrown his way.

Asking how the inside of a human felt, how much did he pay you to agree to sleep with him? What do you mean it was fully voluntary- so the rumours are true? Humans are whores?

Somehow, these questions are starting to irritate him.

A lot of them ask him if he's willing to share you, or if they can get your socials. He ends up blocking and reporting them, not even bringing them up to you.

Because...what if you leave him for one of them? What if you'd prefer a tiefling with cool horns or half-orc who could manhandle you with ease? He can't ruin the one thing in life that has made him happy- the single time fate smiled his way.

So he convinces you to let him take care of the online account, you can worry about the videos and making them, he will take care of everything else for you.

Also he still hasn't corrected anyone in the forum who call him your boyfriend, that title is making him happier more than it has any right to. So what if he didn't bring it up to you yet? He'd rather live in this fantasy where he is your boyfriend.

#♡modern loser high elf #♡modern au human kink #♡human kink #♡human reader #♡smut #♡🩵 anon #dnd human kink #human kink #Smut

[wingheadshellhead]

anyone who says mcu steve got the short end of the stick cause his tony wasn't young hot and gandyesque when they met are weak. 616 tony saw old steve at 95 years old physically and would have banged him like a screen door in a hurricane

#by gandy i mean david gandy #altho i think tony's uncapturable prettiness comes from his old hollywood looks #the clark gable vibe #@