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crustyfloor · 23 days

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Whenever Till sings about mizi and or needing her I notice that he always imagines her child self..

I think it's honestly because he's scared of actually seeing Mizi and how she ended up after all these years, because she isnt that child anymore.

he idealizes the child who saved him from spiraling when he was younger and gave him a reason to keep going through the pain of being in Alien stage. He idealized what Mizi used to represent, a sweetness and flowery purity that is rare in the world he lives in. so he clung to it life a lifeline because she WAS his lifeline, but he has yet to recognize the Mizi who has changed so much from when she was a child. I hope Till has an open-eyed moment when he sees Mizi again not as the child she once was but as the woman she is now. I feel like that'll have a much-needed impact on his character development.

#alien stage #qmeng #vivinos #alnst till #alnst mizi #This also links in with why he's not able to properly “see” Ivan either. when he sees Mizi its an idealized version #Ivan has been the same since he was young #When Till looks at him he sees his reality and also a person whos not at all as pure as Mizi but was still there for him when she wasnt #thats not a truth hes able to admit yet because he's still greatly attached to mizi #he might even feel like hes disregarding her impact on him

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bamsara · 1 year

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being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now

#wish i could tell younger me that i wasnt fucked up i was just autistic #even if youre not nd i still think having things you enjoy around you is important especially for your space #so i make a notable effort to get fandom stuff for my younger siblings now #like my lil sister thinks getting demon slayer stuff is cringe cause anime and what not (havent read it sorry)#but her face still lights up when i get her a pin for her #or a blind bag with a character keychain #and very slowly the self hatred and whatever it feels like that youre not allowed to like anything and that anything you like is bad #starts to diminish #my qpp is obsessed with birds and chickens and has so many trinkets around the house for it #or my friend who loves how pretty stained glass looks that his walls are covered in thrifted stain glass pieces #i know an elderly couple who are obsessed with star trek and they have a room in the house purely for shelves stacked with collectables #my friend's dad is so obsessed with spiderman that he has 3 walls full of figurines and posters and collectables that prob amoutn to tons #like i dont get it but i get it #maybe its because im sick rn but im in my head tonight about human loving things and stories and cocepts to the point of comfort #sara shush #ramble

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formosusiniquis · 1 year

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When Mike Wheeler, red faced and still faintly tear stained, asks him how he knew he liked both Steve doesn’t know how to tell him it was his sister.

Before Nancy Wheeler it had only been boys. Before Nancy Wheeler Steve had been sure he was gay and knew well enough to keep it to himself; dating around enough to earn himself a protective reputation. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Marcus Summers, from the baseball team, during freshman year. Steve had gone to every game, and had been forced to make up excuses about schoolwork and his other commitments when asked why he hadn’t tried out for himself. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Tommy Hagan. The summer between seventh and eighth grade had been very kind to Tommy, he was sunkissed and boy next door sweet, Steve had wanted to hold his hand and count the freckles across the bridge of his nose.

Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been his first love, a boy who only visited one summer, the year Steve turned ten. His name had changed every time they hung out but he’d favored E’s. Eli, Emmett, Elliott, Eric, Excalibur, Excelsior, and once for about an hour Wayne. His hair brushed his chin in pretty brown curls and his big brown eyes were always bright with excitement. He always got storm off mad when any of the other boys they’d played with that summer said he was acting like a girl, E would run off to the woods and Steve would always follow. E always came up with the best games anyway, he didn’t like playing soccer or HORSE or anything else with rules that couldn’t be bent; he preferred imagination games where they were knights or wizards. He didn’t laugh when Steve said he always liked playing house, but never wanted to be the dad because why would he want to be someone who never wanted to spend any time with his kids. E who, while insisting on being called Samwise all day, was his first kiss.

Cause he knows what Mike wants to hear. He’s seen the way Mike and Will have danced around each other since the last portal closed. He’s heard the things Mike has said to and about Will. He’s heard all about the week that Will was in the Upside Down. He’s heard all about the summer of ‘85. He’s heard all about the final off again that seems to officially mark the end of Mike and El romantically. He knows that Mike wants him to say that he’d never even thought about boys before he met Eddie. That there’s just something special about Eddie that makes him want to give up his lady killing ways. That Eddie was different. That it was okay that he was having these scary new thoughts, maybe Will was just an exception.

And Steve doesn’t know how to have that conversation. When he realized he liked both it was a relief, that maybe he could have something normal and wouldn't have to spend his life lying or hiding.

But Eddie was different. Eddie was special. Eddie was probably it for Steve which is scary in a different way that he’s not ready to touch yet -- not when it’s only been three months.

There’s never been another girl since Nancy Wheeler, not really

There will never be another boy after Eddie Munson.

So he tries to help, as best he can. It’s easier with Eddie there, not quite dozing against his shoulder -- the kid’s emergencies always seem to come so late at night these days. “When I was ten, there was a boy whose name kept changing who decided prince charming should get to kiss his faithful knight. And when I was sixteen, your sister-”

Mike’s goodwill diminishes quickly as his sister gets introduced to the conversation.

“Stevie,” Eddie says. It’s not an admonishment for bringing up Nancy. It’s awestruck and watery. “You remember that?”

“Of course I remember the first boy I ever loved," that word catches up with him a second later. Remember.

Cause there's Eddie with his riot of brown curls and his Bambi eyes. Eddie, who has explained why soft feminine words chafe against his skin leaving him itchy and anxious. Eddie, who has an Uncle in Hawkins. Eddie who moved to town the summer before he entered high school with a buzzed head and his mother's last name. Eddie who finally settled into an E he liked best.

"Wheeler, here's a tip from me to you," Eddie says, his advice is always better received than Steve's anyway, "if you have to ask you probably already know."

"Straight people don't really spend much time wondering if they aren't really straight," Steve agrees.

They don't rush Mike out the door, a crisis is a crisis and even in the wake of new discoveries Mike deserves to be heard out. Deserves a chance to cry and rage and feel those emotions someplace safe from his Reaganite father -- just as much as Will deserves to have someone who knows what they want come to him, deserves better than experimentation.

They cross the bridge from late into early by the time Mike sets off. The sun is creeping up over the horizon and Mike looks solid, certain; the dawn hints at the man he is growing up to be. Though every instinct of Steve's begs him to drive the kid home, Eddie's soft hand lingering at his hip holds him fast. They wave instead, encouraging Mike to go home and to bed before he does anything; knowing his front bike tire is already pointed toward the Byers-Hopper place.

"The first boy you ever loved, huh, Stevie?" Eddie teases before the door has even managed to click shut.

"And the last, I'm hoping, if I play my cards right."

"You were always pretty good at that. You were the only person that summer who called me by my name, except Wayne."

"It was your name." He knows that's too simple. Knows how hard Eddie has had it, continues to have it. But that summer it had been that simple, Eddie trying on names like shirts each one fitting until they didn't. "For what it's worth, I like Eddie a lot more than Excalibur."

"Oh fuck off, I was going through a fantasy knight phase. Which I know you remember."

"Right a phase, and how much longer is this fantasy 'phase' going to last?"

They're the kind of tired that makes you feel drunk, when Eddie tackles Steve and sends them both to the floor and to giggles. Eddie might not have been his bi awakening, but Steve is pretty fine with him being his everything else.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #trans eddie munson #implied byler #steddie fic #my fic #i do worry that sometimes i come across as a nancy hater #which i cant emphasize enough is not the case #nancy is a complicated character and i love her and she and steve are not good for each other #also eddie trying on wayne because wayne was the first adult he told that he wasnt a girl and who handled it well #wayne at the breakfast table like okay then what is your name if its not [redacted] and eddie does not have an answer yet #so wayne says well just tell me when you get up what youre going by #so he decides while playing that day that its wayne #and that lasts exactly as long as it takes for steve to call him that before hes like nope thats weird #eddie is short for edmund but also short for eddie the head #eddie contains multitudes

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cemeterything · 8 months

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one thing about me is that i'm almost comically susceptible to reverse psychology. "ohh i bet you won't do it" i would kill and eat you without even stopping to think about it if you told me you didn't believe i could.

#🐉#like one time i was making dinner and my roommate joked that he wasnt worried about getting in my way #because its not like id stab him about it #and i turned around so fast and whatever look was on my face mustve spooked him because he turned pale and was like 'i was kidding'

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bluerosefox · 4 months

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The Drakes

It's been years since the Bats had seen Red Robin much less Tim Drake-Wayne. It started with a rather dumb argument that after years of holding back his tongue and the stress of being a TEENAGE CEO that Tim finally ripped into them.

They were too stunned by the end of his speech, him also admitting that yes he has his own problems and mistakes but at least he's trying to make amends or get over himself unlike others. It was their prolonged silence that was the final straw for him it seemed though, because Tim finally announced he was done, he was done bleeding for those that kept him on the edge of the family and that he wanted to rest, and with that Tim turned and left the Batcave for the final time.

They of course didn't take Tim's retirement announcement seriously, after all Tim was the last person other than Bruce they all believed would ever leave the life of a vigilante and a hero behind, and they all knew Bruce would keep working on the 'mission' even as a frail old man. It took them a few weeks before one of them finally decided to go see Tim and try to... talk about everything he said.

Only when they reached Tim's Nest, they discovered it was empty and he was no where to be found did they realize he was serious. It was a quick call to Wayne Enterprises to see if he was in and Tam no doubt holding back her sharp response to them that she told them that Tim had stepped down from CEO weeks ago and hasn't been heard from since. The one who went to see Tim immediately called the others, which sent many of them onto goose chase of false leads, arguments, and pointing blame.

Despite looking for their long lost Red Robin, he was good at hiding his tracks and any who might have an idea where he could be weren't talking.

So yeah it's been a while since the Bats had heard any news relating to their lost bird.

So imagine their surprise when Ra's latest attempt to upset the balance in their family again (did he want Damian to return as his heir? Take control over Gotham in the shadow? Upset Bruce? None of them honestly knew what his plan was anymore. Same old song and dance) and having captured them all that he brought up Tim to them. Or rather "shame the Detective is going to be late, but I'm sure his little family shall inform of things once he gets here."

None of them were expecting for Ra's to look away from them and with a snap of his fingers, three assassins brought forth into the room two others. One was being dragged by two assassins, black hair, pale skin, and lean swimmers build of a body. He looked roughly around the age Tim would be. He was placed on the floor right by Ra's boots, arms and legs tied up, clearly but alarmingly breathing low and slow from the raise and fall of their chest. He wore a simple T-shirt but had dark jacket that was covered in stars, NASA logos, and other galaxy themed patches all over it, his dark jeans also held some star patches but also held everyday stains from being outside in the grass and other normal day to day thing. All in all this person seems like a normal civilian individual and none of the Bats knew why Ra's had taken him.

The other assassin that had walked into the room was holding a toddler, a girl from the little pigtails on her messy head indicated. Her hair was just as dark as the passed out male by Ra's and her skin was shade healthier than him. She wore grass stained and messy paints caked overalls with a plan shirt under it and two different kinds of kids shoes (one was a green with dinosaurs and the other blue with little stars). She, unlike the young man on the floor, was awake and was looking around the room while sucking her thumb in clear distress, she also used her free hand that wasn't in her mouth to push the assassin holding onto her away from her as far as she could and was squirming her tiny legs enough to kick their sides. Thankfully the assassin didn't look too hostile or upset meaning she wasn't doing to much damage or being too annoying.

"What a lovely family the Timothy has gained for himself don't you think? I will admit Daniel put up a rather interesting fight, it was only due to us having the element of surprise that we managed to take him down and his little Eleanor has his fighting spirit it seems." Ra's said as he slowly reached over to the toddler to lightly fiddle (just to unnerve them as well) with her hair. However the moment he touched her hair, the little girl's eyes flashed from frosty blue to neon bright green and she had spat her thumb out of her mouth in order to hiss like a cat at him, her little feet kicking hard enough to cause a small 'oomph' from the one holding her.

Ra's gave an amused chuckle as he stared at the toddler in fascination before also casting his gaze down at the passed out young man, remembering the way his eyes also had flashed from blue to green and the amount of power he had saw bubble to the surface when they had ambushed the two in their home. As Ra's said before, if they hadn't had the element of surprise on their side when they went after Timothy's little family it wouldn't had worked. No doubt little Eleanor Drake was a hint of power Daniel Drake held.

Ra's turned to look at the Bats, and could clearly see the emotions on their faces which amused Ra's deeply, and couldn't help but say "Although I wasn't expecting him to marry a being with pure Lazarus blood flowing in their veins. Quite a interesting discovery that was. And that his offspring seemed to carry it also from birth. What lovely and priceless boons he has granted the League to have once he joins us."

Ra's could clearly see the questioning, fear (for the family in his clutches), confusion, and disbelief on the Bats faces and knew it would be so entertaining to watch the little.. family reunion he had set into motion.

He was so amused watching Batman the others he never noticed the light twitch on Daniel's face or the shifting breathing pattern. When he would later check to see of the large amount of tranquilizers they had given Daniel was still in-effect he was none the wiser that it had already wore off and that Danny was merely bidding his time for a opening.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp x dc #crossover #blue rambles #writing ideas #random idea #danny phantom dc #dpxdc #Tim and Danny had meet when they were 13 and 14 #they meet during Tim's training in Paris when becoming Robin and Danny had wanted some time alone to think after beating his future evilsel #Danny had flown far to clear his head and didnt notice he was in Paris until he ran into Tim and Tim tried talking French to him #they did become friends #because this is during then time Bruce wasnt... ok. Tim wasnt willing to tell him he made a ghosty friend #thus kept Danny his little secret #Danny was the person Tim talked to about everything #well almost. He didnt wanna burden his friend during the time Kon and Bart died or when Batman was thought to be dead too #Danny had felt hurt during that tbh and bit did strain their friendship for a bit but they talked about it.#Danny likes talking to Tim because he gets it #he gets and understands the stress of being a teen hero with so much responsibility #understands the worry and stress that his friends or Jazz dont get #Tim was the one that helped Danny understand that despite his parents loving him. that their work should never ever come first #Eleanor is Danielle btw #she had destabilized a few years ago #and only thanks to CW Frostbite and Tim's help they managed to save what they could of her #meaning she had to be deaged with Tim's human DNA to stabilizes her halfa genes #Tim is not going to be a happy when he storms Ra's little base btw #not at all #and neither is Danny tbh #brain dead

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turtleblogatlast · 23 days

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Man “Battle Nexus: New York” was a great episode but I do have one major gripe with it.

Like. Raph being paired up with Ghostbear? Makes sense. Works great. Works amazing, even.

Mikey being paired up with Meatsweats? Yeah that checks out!!

Donnie getting…Hypno…? I mean. I guess Donnie doesn’t like magic so it kindaaa works but Kendra would have been a much better choice to me personally. Maybe Big Mama didn’t wanna include a human or something…

And Leo getting…uh…one of the Sando Brothers???? Of all villains? Nah let’s be real, his main villain is more Big Mama herself (or Leo could be considered his own worst enemy lmao-). Hell Hypno would have probably worked better here considering their shared love for magic tricks and stuff, but Carl Sando????

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #battle nexus: new york #nah this will always be baffling to me #like no joke big mama really is Leo’s main villain so it makes sense that she’s not paired with him #given that she’s running this all #but giving him ONE of the Sando brothers?? not even both???#outrageous #hypno or even warren would have been better here tbh #at least there’s some basis there for both and either option would have been so fun #not that what we got WASNT fun it def was but the sando bro was the weak link because no one cares about him #and I would have killed for a Donnie Kendra forced team up 😭#Donnie also could have worked with Stockboy ig or hell even Repo tbh?#but Kendra is the much more interesting and fitting choice here for him imo #honestly though this post was made because I do NOT understand the choice of CARL SANDO #both of them together are forgettable enough #separating them gets rid of the one thing they even had #I remember watching and being like who tf is that #he’s got some funny moments but man anyone would have been better 😭#going back to Kendra and Donnie because I LOVE their dynamic #the result of their team up could have ended exactly the same as canon #only instead of Kendra not knowing chess it’s instead her and Donnie arguing about what the right move would be #and they never actually make a move because of it

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dogboots · 1 year

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mackenzie hour

#bluey #my art #about time i drew something for this show... i wasnt joking when i said these dogs have taken over my brain!#drew lots of mackenzies in the canvas underneath but these were the ones most fit to post i think.#i like him! probably one of my top 5 (though thats probably just because of my collie bias tbh.) hes silly :)

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that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick · 1 year

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They made Souta a chair for 97% of the movie because they knew we'd all pass away from his beauty if they didn't

#suzume #suzume no tojimari #munakata souta #like seriously heaven help us all if we had that babysitting scene with the twins with his human form 😭#a woman's heart becomes weak your honor #men who pass the kids and animals check get all the green flags no cap no cap #but i did lowkey want to commit animal abuse bc i did NOT trust Daijin nope nope nope #madoka magica gave me trust issues man #i was having flashbacks #but anyway more towards the topic i was very ready for souta to be a jerk #and it's really too bad he wasnt because i did not need another fictional crush

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ch1zzie · 1 month

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The original in the bottom

Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny

#thats not my neighbor #milk man #just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates #monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school #(online school)#my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT #also little welcome home update #im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me #also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭)#the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit #only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭#also! im making easter art #yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!!#why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing #it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful!#im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to #high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not)#maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me...#also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh #ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me #imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope)#even if its little dumb posts #by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES”#just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded #hehe didded

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sanjipussyindulgence · 14 days

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watching the kaiju no. 8 anime and the kafka + reno dynamic is so top-tier. contrasting reno, a sterotypical edgy anime teenager, with kafka, a pretty regular guy in his 30s, has such endless comedy to it.

they're father-son coded but reno did the adopting. he saw how lame and wet kafka was and fetched the adoption papers out himself.

#im pretty slow getting thru this episode rn just because of how fried my brain is #but im enjoying it regardless of the art style #the meeting scene with reno and kafka made me have to write this post its so funny #also i know reno literally never dresses like it but i know hes emo. i can smell it on him.#if he wasnt working a government job i know he'd be walking around in black nail polish #kaiju no. 8 #kaiju number 8 #kafka hibino #reno ichikawa #kaiju no. 8 anime

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dayurno · 22 days

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man all the foxes had hard lives but sometimes when i sit down and think about kevin i'm like damn this person wasn't even in the same playing field as his teammates. he was raised captive in a cult and violently forced into extreme child labor up until the day he left?! he was thrust into the spotlight at an early age and had every movement of his life meticulously choreographed?! he was raised to depend on a master x pet relationship with one of his captors?! he literally could not move a step without riko's acknowledgement?! the labor violations only would give a labor lawyer years of work. can you imagine if we talked about all the other different kinds of extensive abuse too

#i feel like people dont understand the full scope of it because its So Much to take in #but its seriously Horrifying if you think about it #hes not just ostracized in the foxes group hes entirely removed from their reality #like after a certain threshold my brother you and a person who had a 'bad' childhood have nothing in common #ebcause yours wasnt just bad. brother it was beyond bad #brother it was 'a little life' by hanya yanagihara bad #brother i pray one day youll recover even a fraction of who you were before. all of this #txt #kevin

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buwheal · 14 days

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uhh more of that warmup page i do for breaks lol. The real question is how do i mimic this in the pixel askbox style..

#i hate this bastard :swirling hearts:#i think im finally in that stage of consistency where i can mess around with the shapes and stuff #at lesst a bit #oh also i think ive gone down the blazer route teehee #ive kept it ambiguous because i wasnt sure but i like his little blazer :-3 #ALSO aughhh i think im finally figuring out how to bend his teeth to his facial expression but not too much that they look like lips yk??#YAYYYY YAYYY #buwheart #spamton #hes just hangin out and picking his teeth because hes gross. Maybe ill use that one in the future.#i am working on the askbox! fret not! i am just scheming #and procrastinating a little bit but thats beside the point #ignore the transparent bar on the side lol

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dirtytransmasc · 8 months

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Alicent being ignored as a parent during those first few years. Alicent being expected to take care of aegon, while also allowing Viserys to take him whenever he so pleased, to show off and pass around like a model toy. Alicent being denied her child whenever lords and ladies were around. Alicent only getting him back when she was at her wits end, stressed after being separated from him for so long, watching people hold him wrong, play with him wrong, touch him wrong. Alicent only getting him back when he is fussy and no longer a source of entertainment for Viserys and his guests. Alicent holding her baby close to her chest during outings or events, stiffening when people ask to see him, hesitant to release her grip on him. Alicent biting her tongue when people ask to "give her a break" when she really wants to tell them that it's her baby and she's perfectly capable. Alicent being so exhausted from guests and Aegon being so little and full of energy, and her second pregnancy, causing her to doze with Aegon in her arms, only to nearly lash out when someone tries to slip him from her arms, engulfing him in her arms as if to fend him from hungry wolves. Alicent carrying him around, even as she grows tired, her arms burning and back aching, so she knows he is safe, away from prying hands and acrid whispers, away from his father's attempts to use him for amusement purposes. Alicent feigning a smile, feigning composure and enjoyment, when really, she just wants to be home, in her chambers with her son, where no one can bother them, where they aren't props meant to smile and wave for a man who does not love them.

(inspired by this reblog of my post from earlier. cause yes, @squgs [hope you don't mind me tagging] is right, she would very much go to war for her baby)